From @hexenjagd

It is a gentle gesture. With a turn of her wrist she cups his chin, cradling his head within her welcoming palm and holding him there. Her fingers fitted to the shape of his jaw perfectly as she delicately tilted his head her way.

A gentle urging for him to turn her way and face her. A beckoning.

"Come now, raise your head. Lift your gaze and meet mine." it was a command, gentle in intent-- uttered through a half whisper.

"I've rarely seen such success in many an era. You rose from nothing. Hardly able to stand or even give me your name, narrowly avoiding the embrace of death, from embers to flame. Look at you. You've come so far-- transformed. Whole and beautiful. Now, raise your head with pride. You have survived."

There’s little else to see. Nothing worth a look upon the grotto’s ridged arching walls, reverberating the whisper of rain outside past the faceless bushes. Still his gaze remains downcast, absorbed by earth-sunk stones. Every so often a stray glance dares peek through black strands to briefly settle upon some corner of her contours, reaffirming him with the glimpse of boots, of a hand or the ends of her ebony locks that she is indeed still beside him. But neither stare lasts, none dare remain, he simply cannot bring himself to fully look at her.

How many times has he thought back to the distant days spent inside that tent? Thought about all the things he could have told her if he could speak the way he can today. With a solid dominion over the language they shared, understanding him would have proven much simpler. Restlessly deterred by the suffocating hold of his ignorance, so much more could have been said had he been free of it from the start. When solitude struck low, he knows he wished he had more to remember her by. Wished that and more.

And yet, is this moment not weaved from the same thread of impossible opportunity? The same wishfulness as those dreams, the sort that visited him when exhaustion got the better of him. What is this silence then, Cayin? Has she returned, made her way back to you against all probability, so you could fall quiet beside her again?

This is your chance to say what you could not.

Her touch settles under his jaw, mindful, deliberate. It doesn’t bear the same warmth it once did, but then neither did her hand in those liar dreams. Scarred bearer of comforts, it still shapes a feeling of shelter truer than any walls, as does her velvety voice, first bringer of speech to his ears. At last she brings him to look upon her, truly and sincerely. So much more vivid than any product of the mind, yet perfumed in a strange bittersweetness. Perhaps because this isn't how he imagined it. Perhaps because his eyes do not lie, and they tell clearly that the two of them are changed, so very changed since then.

But where the proof of time roots him in this indecision he cannot explain, she responds in opposite: acknowledging it in a most celebratory manner, all in recognition towards him, towards what he is today in relation to what she knew him as. In this praise, in this short tale worthy of being preserved as an epigraph in a book, she welcomes him.

Success. When she puts it that way, it’s difficult to deny. Every need fulfilled has been followed by the search of the next, but to consider what has already been achieved is a pleasure of its own worth lingering in. She continues, calls him complete, calls him beautiful, names him survivor, like titles conferred by the sword that settles upon the head and shoulders of the newly knighted. Only he does not bow, as his head is called to rise. And rise it does, hesitantly, in spite of the knot tugging at his throat. Fists clench under their sleeves until the urge to shiver ceases, and they release, open hands rising to meet the one she placed under his chin.

“Not nothing.” He speaks in a quiet certainty. Claws grasp her fingers tenderly, delicately pulling her hand down and turning his wrists so his thumbs may rest on her palm. “I had you.”

tell me please, why on earth this game supposed to be so impressive ?? ..

yeah im sitting here guessing wut am i doing to my life so i feel like share w my sorta theory

in nowhere section, alessa's hospital room after one cutscene you can hear a strange sound resonating in your ears

kinda scratching inside braincase

as it turned out, this eerie soundrack (BLESS AKIRA AND HIS MUSIC—) accompanied us for the rest of location

it's almost funne how such small detail could trigger neuron activation and lead me to conclusions LIKE THIS lol

the first link of the chain was immediate thought that harry might have a mild headache or dizziness near this place

idk how to explain this properly maybe it's just a vibe ..

but air w h i s t l e s around that hospital bed with blood-stained sheets even though it's empty

as if it keeps remains of some energy trace so far

what kind of ? good question

if you recall dahlia's monologue, it's the place where God had been nurtured for long 7 years, endless pain threshold test and immense suffering for one little girl

A Very Heart of the Nightmare

don't feel like taking it like a bunch of empty, meaningless words so let me be clear – presence of God in alessa's womb could have real, physical effects on environment or even more, living creatures. i imagine it like some kind of radiation emerging out of her body, that badly affects a human condition and reduces lifetime in general

yeah just trying to find the reason why dahlia had turned into an old hag to the moment of the first game in precisely short time and kauffman looks kind of pasty and pale w his yellowish skin like he has a serious problem w liver. other member of the order who were attending the ritual could at least develop chronic diseases

i'd like to remind here the order was a sect of private religion and had really dangerous people in it. their influence grew into various areas of town's life, we already know abt kauffman being the director of alchemilla hospital

lisa mentioned the series of strange assassinations of officials who were intending to bring some economical changes into structuring of silent hill's life, also later we discover abt murders of the drug traffic case investigators – and it can be said they're responsible for all of that

the order operated discreetly to keep existing power structure as it was

one day, lisa garland – the member of alchemilla hospital's staff was appointed to take care of new special patient

should i describe amount of shock she probably experienced? it was tremendously cruel that someone who had suffered burns covering their entire body that far beyond the fatal level – and still struggles to breathe. but since the girl was impregnated she couldn't die, the malevolent deity simply wouldn't let her. so nurse's new duties included making sure that holy mother's body – one big solid open wound – wasn't eaten by larvae

lisa was terrified so much in the face of that new circumstances, even expressed her plea to be out of that business which is totally understandable

even though she begged superior suspend her from that case, lisa was just an innocent resident and good soul. she couldn't offer them more but a honest promise

no girlie, work it

lisa had to handle it on her own without anyone's help, because the less people know about what really happened that day is better. and just one drug-addicted nurse from uninitiated is pretty convenient number to control the situation. moreover judging from the newspaper article, it was believed alessa died in the fire caused by blaze of antiquated boiler in gillespie house's basement

ok can't say why in the game initially exclusively medical staff were among possessed human enemies known us puppet nurses and puppet doctors. but we know during its events cybil becomes the same species as them and red liquid aglaophotis makes it possible for harry to rid her of the parasite's influence and save her life

now i'd like to remark that aglaophotis and ptv are both produced by white claudia – a plant indigenous to the region where silent hill is located

in other hand, this recreational drug is meant to help member of the order to communicate with the spirit guides and spiritual realm

lisa in her diary states she suffered from severe hallucinations that suspiciously clear remind of some otherworld features: insects, blood and pus coming from bathroom faucet. even though the otherworld itself firstly appeared only at the period of game? amount of ptv her organism received only grew over time, maybe it gave her some immune against spiritual realm's invasion and helped visualize true picture of suffering beyond human comprehension in this room

im inclined to think lisa eventually wasn't allowed to leave her work space at hospital's basement at all. guess, it wasn't too difficult for order to manipulate another fact in the face of public to cover lisa's sudden disappear

the thing is, she spent really dangerous amount of time in close proximity with alessa. she felt bad at the first time with constant need to throw up, but i believe her state became only worse because of God's poisonous influence. it caused breakdown of internal organs and gradually, lisa's hair and nails fell off, her skin sloughed off and finally melting flesh dripped off her face and body

and for some reason i was sure the case of lisa's death was drug overdose: by accident or on purpose. but things got more complicated when m. ito confirmed she was actually killed by valtiel. idk what to think abt it maybe an act of mercy ??

so lisa's bloody scene probably was an allusion to her body decaying and falling apart, that is to say, very light version of what could happen to her through the years of nursing her secret patient

and as long as alessa was bedridden for life she was forced to watch how the only sincerely good person in her life turns into a literal piece of meat in due of her mere p r e s e n c e

just by being there, with alessa's body

the order went too far playing with fire, no wonder why alessa acts like this. the only option left for her to prevent the birth of God is destroying the whole town and probably killing every single person in there

because she firmly believed there's a fate worse than death

Just read the latest chapter. I am frustrated ahhh.

Like, I just want someone to grab yn and tell her: hey, you have Stockholm's. Whatever feelings you developed isn't your fault at all. You thought you were willing/compliant but you gotta understand that a large part o it was a coping mechanism. Your mind had to become convinced in order for it to work, do you understand?

Abuse can be confusing because it erodes at your sanity and makes you question yourself. That's why you need to be away from your abuser for an extended period of time before you can pass judgement. Even if you feel that you truly have feelings for him, part of it also has to do with how women release the 'fall in love' hormones after orgasm/sex and it's not your fault. There's only so much you can do when your body does what it does. You developed what feels like affection for your captor, and as you know, you can't reason with feelings, you can only work through them.

You're not a traitor and you can sort + process your feelings out with time."

Ughh where's a therapist when you need one.

I can't help but feel like it would help tremendously.

Like, you care about dabi bc he kept you safe from the other villains at the party.

Maybe if she understood all those things, she would've left the necklace and they would've been okay.

I'm worried sick. Shoto is my favorite. He's been through so much he doesn't need any more trauma 😭 he doesn't deserve any of this.

But also, the necklace thing is like.. a metaphor for not being able to move on.

Because she can't, the past will continue to ruin the present - type of thing.

I like the way you write Shoto by the way!

(also if it were me in y/n's shoes, and shoto found the necklace + asked why I kept it, I would explain it as:

"I kept it so that when I worked through the trauma, I would bury it, toss it in the ocean or burn it as a form of catharsis. Like burning your scholly papers even you graduate or something.")

I love your writing. I'm sorry this isn't supposed to be criticism of any sort. I just have a lot ✨FEELINGS✨

Like it drivers me BONKERS (again, not criticizing you - like at ALL)

That she couldn't do what needed to be done. Like when all she had to do was please him.

In my mind, I would've done anything to keep Shoto safe.

I would've seduced Dabi and stayed focused instead of letting my emotions get the better of me. She's a trained hero for heavens sake! 😭

If I was thrown in a cell and nearly died + experienced the screams and knowing shoto could be one of them, I would've taken the second chance Kino gave me and done my best.

But that's me. I'm not yn, and I completely get where she's coming from and how there's only so much you can endure.

I just wish it translated better that I would do what it takes for Shoto... I love the way you describe him. My favorite is 'frusttatingly beautiful.' He really is stunning.

Ohhh, first of all thank you for such detailed ask dear anon 🥰🥰.

Y/n could really use a therapist, couldn't she? 😥 I keep torturing the main trio. She did try to seduce Dabi and keep Shouto safe until Kino betrayed her...

The necklace will be important later 😬😬😬.

As for staying away from her abuser...yeah...I don't think that will be possible 🥲🙉🙈.

The vminkook dynamics are so compelling and I think if we pay close enough attention, we can learn valuable lessons about respect and managing long running freindships to use in our own lives. I know this is a touchy subject because of ships, as well as the tendency for fans to favor or cast blame on one member over another when it comes to tensions or rifts. Taehyung and Jungkook are both beautiful souls and caring, loving people. But they are also human and they may probably run into challenges while communicating with each other, as all families do. All this year I have been noticing details we with Vminkook. The SOOP taekook conversation made a lot of sense in retrospect. I was watching Winter Package 2020 and there was a Taekook moment that really stood out. Taehyung was playing with an elf doll and Jikook arrived. Jungkook said something like 'he is so innocent' while ruffling Taehyung's hair. The expression on Tae's face fell and he looked down. I think being referred to as 'childlike' might be a touchy thing to him. Jimim seems to recognize this, which is why, in a 2018 interview describing Taehyung, he said that his 'unstained purity' was different from that of a child. It was nice when Jungkook ended up giving his sweet snowglobe to Taehyung. You can tell they are brotherly freinds no matter what. Jungkook is generally very respectful of age heirachies, and in SOOP he told Tae as much. However, his actions toward Tae do not always reflect this. Of all the people in Bangtan, Jk is most likely to interrupt or be competitive with Taehyung (it makes sense, they both started out as vocalists whereas Jimin had a dance background. Taekook bonded as immature pals before Jimin even arrived in Seoul. And there's also Jimin, whose time and attention they might feel possessive over). Jimin is VERY careful about people's feelings. He is known for his emotional intelligence for a reason. During the new years eve vlive in 2020 Jungkook interrupted Taehyung when he was talking and literally said 'its not important' because they only had 50 seconds left. This aggrivated both Tae andJimin. Jimin even grabbed Jk jokingly and fake hit him and said 'why did you do that to Taehyung?' Jimin then told Taehyung to continue what he was saying but Tae was a little salty and said 'no, nevermind'. During the 'BE Behind' conversation, at minute 23:00, Jungkook laughed when Tae said Weverse was giving him comfort, and what did Jimin do? He shushed Jk from accross the room. It was nice to see that Taekook were getting along so well in the video apart from that. Maybe it is worth noting that it was Jimin's sensitivity that helped be a mediator for them. And just so that it doesnt seem like these observations are dumping on Jk, Tae has occasionally been dismissive of abrupt with jk. During BV4, Tae literally told him to 'just go away' while he and Jimin were having fun in the kitchen. He turned to Jimin and said 'I got rid of the intruder'. This may have been a jokey thing to say, but it couldn't have felt good to be in Jk's shoes. Tae and Jk are both kind and thoughtful. They love each other as family and would probably even die for one another. But they still make mistakes and can be careless at times. The important thing is that they are making an effort to be more sensitive of each others needs and feelings. Isn't that inspiring?

I honestly didn’t notice all of these specific instances you mentioned, but I do remember the Winter Package and the BV4 one. I agree that Tae and JK treat each other like family. Sometimes they bicker, sometimes they seem like they annoy each other, but there’s a tremendous amount of love through all of it. It’s not very unlike how Yoonmin are with each other (the BE-hind video comes to mind). 

There's a bit of background: I wrote this letter to Sasuke from my perspective, as a player of IkeSen. I wonder if this is okay for the Letters event?

It was June 14, 2020. I checked the notifications on my phone, to see that my favourite actor and someone I idolize was no longer with us.

I remember sitting down on my bed, getting under the covers, and crying. I just couldn't stop. It felt like losing a friend, or someone extremely close to me.

I was already playing otome games, I was hooked on Ikemen Vampire, had a bit of a crush on Lancelot from Ikemen Revolution and was pretty into Kakeru from Honey Magazine. However, none of them were able to fill the gaping hole that he had left.

But that all changed when I met you.

I was playing Nobunaga's route on Ikemen Sengoku when I realised, "hey that ninja is kinda cute..does he have a route?"

And that's when I quit Nobunaga's route to play yours. And the more I played, the more i realised how similar you are to him. Astrophysicist, love for the stars, highly intelligent, charismatic, talented in spheres other than astrophysics. But most of all, I could sense the warmth and love you had for everyone.

The more I played your route, the more I felt myself come out of that slump. And I started to fall. I fell in love with the way you fall asleep, slowly, then all at once.

Sasuke, you were there for me when no one else was. You helped me when I cried over assignments. You helped when I woke up from scary nightmares. You comforted me when no one could..

You have been the friend I've always wanted. You're the reason I have been able to evolve and grow into the person I am today.

I know you'll probably never read this. I know you'll probably never know that I exist. I mean, you're a character from a game. And I'm, me.

But if for some reason you exist in another universe and can read this. I wan my you to know that I love you. That you're important to me. And that I owe so many things to you.

Sasuke. You are important for my heart. It beats faster everytime i see you on my phone screen.

Your memes, your flirting, your goofy little bli-wink, your fear of butterflies, your love for the stars, fanboying over Ieyasu, running away from kenshin, bromancs with Yukimura, worshipping Ieyasu, walking in the ceilings, being a history nerd, you being you, I love it all. I love every bit of you. And in our little time together, you've shown me infinite ways to be happy. You've helped me heal. You've helped me smile. You made my 2020 the best year.

Thank you Sasuke. Thank you for being you.

I love you.

Yours,

M.

// a letter from another timeline

// 1

To whom? Only if I knew.

These nights sleep does not want to come to me – I do not mind. The universe is endless and so is the sky. It’s clearer now that I am in the past. I understood it was different then, but could never quite imagine it. I can observe things I could not even dream of, learn details forgotten throughout the centuries…

Yet somehow, I cannot sleep. Perhaps it is just my imagination… Or maybe the training is starting to wear off on me? Lord Kenshin said I had improved tremendously. It must be it – there is no other logical explanation, is there?

// 2

To whom? I am still not sure.

The feeling does not pass. Somehow, I think I am getting used to it. I have a suspicion I may not want it to pass.

// 3

To You,

If you can read it, somewhere, in some far away world. Just as the universe ever-expands, there is no set limit on the number of timelines you could exist in, I believe. Do you know me there? Am I even real? Are… Are you real in my reality?

This feeling does not stop. I cannot think it was caused by my training anymore. To describe it, I would say I am being watched… Yet it is not quite it. I cannot sense any presence. There is nobody around and no eyes follow me. I would know, it has been four years since I arrived here after all.

Would it be naive to say feelings transpire the understandable and the tangible? I do not know. I must think of it more before reaching any conclusion.

Yet, if it is not too much to ask… If there is person such as myself and you, living somewhere in one of the parallel versions of time and space… Could we meet there, perhaps?

I would want to talk with you.

// 4

To You,

Thanks.

~~

Sasuke is by far my weakest character when it comes to writing, so... I hope I didn’t screw up too much. ^^”

For more details about the event, look here.

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