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alltheangstmygifttoyou · 4 years

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Growing Up

A/N: This is part 6 of the Learn To Be prequel and this is where we get a bit of understanding about Jesse and slightly more world building. A lot of what this prequel is missing is world building. This is from Jesse’s perspective.

Summery: Jesse and Jester’s first day back to school after vacation. Jesse’s friends are introduced to his twin.

Word Count: 3583

TW: violence, mentioned discrimination

Coming back to school was a blessing for Jesse. His Mother had been overbearing during the short vacation. When she wasn’t dragging him around or talking his ear off he shut himself off in his room. Normally he would hang out with Jester in the playroom, but he had finally come to the conclusion that Mother was right about his twin. She was a liar, and selfish. It took him so long to accept it because she was the only person his age around. He used to look up to her for it, because she always got her way, but he knew better now. She didn’t have any friends, she was disciplined often, and while teachers often believed the lies she told students didn’t and would try to prove her wrong. If the teacher still believed her lies Jester’s reputation was just made worse. Jester was shunned, no one wanted to be around her the rest of Basics, and Jesse hadn’t seen a difference since they went to Learn To Be.

However, Jesse had changed, and for the first time he went to his friend’s table for breakfast instead of his twins. There was another boy in section one named Jackson that sat across from Jesse and next to his older sister Matilda, but everyone called her Milly. She was in section three and was in year three, but still very nice. Next to Jesse sat Ren, a brown haired boy in section two. Both Jackson and Ren were in Jesse’s year. Ren had gone to Basics with Jesse and they had played together in their final fifth pre-year. Jackson however went to a different Basics school since he was from a different city. Jesse’s home was a part of the city of Terreriche while Jackson and Milly lived in the city Liqen. Jesse had never been there but Milly described it fondly, telling all the beautiful secret places to visit to see the best examples nature could offer. Her favorite spot to tell them about was a pond in the middle of a forest slightly off the path where ducks and geese often took their babies. Wild flowers grew adding warm colors to the cool sight. There was also a small sandy area covered in hills of rock where seashells big and small washed up from a river nearby, it was all under a bridge which kept one hidden from the heat of the sun. Jackson said the area was boring, there wasn’t anything to do.

When Jesse sat with them they excitedly went on about their vacations, relaxing his nerves a bit. Even though he was still angry with Jester there was a small bug of guilt nibbling on his insides. Jester was all alone when he sat down. A quick look back confirmed she was still alone. Her back was to him, but he could tell she wasn’t eating.

“Hey, you normally sit with your sister at breakfast don’t you?” Jackson asked as he shovelled more eggs into his mouth. Jackson, despite arguing with his sister on most subjects, was very big on family. None of them had been mad that he spent breakfast with Jester, not even Ren who had been exposed to her before.

“Yeah, but I’d rather sit with you guys, I haven’t seen you in days!” Jesse smiled, and it wasn’t a lie. He would rather sit with them instead of having an awkward conversation that lasts three sentences before leading to tense silence.

“Isn’t that her all alone?” Ren asked, he had turned around to look at her. He didn’t like Jester much, but he understood that Jester was Jesse’s twin, he kept his negative comments to himself mostly. Rarely, if she had really upset Jesse Ren would discuss how manipulative and selfish she was. Jesse didn’t talk about Jester with Jackson or Milly, and he assumed Ren hadn’t either. Yet, Ren was a bleeding heart, and still felt sympathy for people he couldn’t stand.

“Why don’t you invite her to sit with us?” Milly suggested, her big brown eyes staring at the back of Jester’s purple head. Jesse wondered if Milly wanted another girl to hang out with, if she did, she could do better than Jester.

“I could, but I doubt she would come over,” once again Jesse wasn’t lying. He did really doubt that she would actually come over, but he knew that she would want to. Whenever he mentioned having friends she always had a small sad smile spread across her face and empty encouragements spill out her mouth. She couldn’t be more obvious that she wanted more friends and made him feel guilty about it. However Jackson seemed to take Jesse’s doubts as a personal challenge, which wasn’t really surprising. Jackson was a very competitive person creating challenges just to win them.

“Well it won’t hurt to ask! Come on, I’ll go with you,” Jackson stood up, his messy black hair bouncing into his dark hazel eyes as he spoke. Jesse resisted the urge to frown and roll his eyes and instead stood up as well. The two boys were both small and lean making it easier to squeeze between people and tables. Jesse saw as they got closer that Jester was writing in a notebook, breakfast pushed aside untouched. Her back was straight and her legs crossed just as their parents had taught. Apparently whatever lesson Father had given her worked well. Once they were a table away Jester closed her notebook and turned to face them. Despite the make up she still looked tired to Jesse. She smiled at the two of them but it wasn’t real. It was the same smile she plastered on with teachers and at charity parties. Jackson brightened at the smile and turned to look at Jesse with confidence mingled with excitement. Jesse curled his lips upwards but the expression he made wouldn’t be described as encouraging, or even a smile. Jackson’s eyebrows furrowed and his smile lost some of its pep but nevertheless he pushed on. They reached Jester’s table and Jackson reached out a hand.

“Hi Jesse’s sister, I’m Jackson!” Jackson already had an above average voice volume, but his increased excitement made him even louder. Jester loosely took his hand and gave a single swing before letting go.

“Nice to meet you Jackson, my name is Jester,” Jester’s light green eyes bore into Jackson’s brown while she spoke. Her hand she just used to shake his subtly rubbing against her pants. Jesse noticed that her nails had been painted dark green and filed to a point. Her arms covered her chest as her hands pushed against her knees, a pose Jesse had seen their Mother make many times while speaking to Father.

“We were wondering if you’d want to sit with us, since you’re alone here and all,” Jackson went on breaking the eye contact Jester forced and looking anywhere but her. Jester’s eyes didn’t leave Jackson’s face despite how clearly uncomfortable he was.

“That is very kind of you to offer. I would love to,” Jester twisted around to grab her notebook, finally leaving Jackson alone. Jesse couldn’t place a specific reason on why, but this entire situation was making him feel jittery. Something was different, something was wrong and as always it had something to do with Jester. “Lead the way boys,” Jester practically chirped, clutching the purple spiral notebook close to her chest. She hadn’t been carrying that before the surprise vacation and Jesse couldn’t help but ponder what she had been writing.

Back at the table Jesse and Jackson took their previous seats and Jester took the seat on the other side of Ren. Awkward silence fell over the group. Jesse knew this would happen if Jester came over. No one ever knew what to say to her. The only thing to appreciate about the moment was the relief that just because they were silent the rest of the room wasn’t. Jesse had practice with his only entertainment being a mash of hundreds of voices on top of each other all fighting to be heard. Sometimes one voice would break through all the others and could be clearly understood . Other times a large group would all start laughing at once. Jesse always tried to think of the joke.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends Jesse?” Jester asked suddenly, she wasn’t looking at him, but between Ren and Milly. Jesse quickly chewed the piece of sausage he had absentmindedly been eating before doing as she asked.

“Next to Jackson is his sister Milly, and you’re sitting next to Ren, from Basics,” Jesse wasn’t sure if Jester actually didn’t remember Ren or not. They didn’t interact much, but Jester remembered people easily.

“Oh hello again Ren, it’s been awhile since we last spoke. I believe it was in a group project in Mrs. Mayswire’s fourth pre-year?” Jester went on, not looking at any of them, her attention was focused on her lap. Leaning forward Jesse could see that she was writing in the notebook again.

“That sounds right,” Ren mumbled watching Jester write before turning to Jesse. Jesse shrugged and raised his eyebrow nodding towards his sister's lap. Ren shook his head.

“Sorry if I’m wrong but are you two by chance Jackson and Matilda Lakerson, children of Samantha Lackerson, CEO of Muberachi, the car company?” Jester looked up, eyes looking between the two other siblings. Milly blinked slowly three times in a row while Jackson corked his head.

“Yeah we are, how did you know?” Jackson answered, although he didn’t sound as suspicious as he should.

“Our Father works with your mother. I spoke to her a couple years ago and she showed me an older photo of you two,” Jester responded, and while she was looking at the two of them her hand began writing again. Jackson beamed at the news of his mother showing him off while Milly’s shoulders dropped slightly.

“I didn’t know that! Isn’t that cool Jesse, we had a connection before we even met,” Jackson’s voice went up a pitch and he was starting to speak so that his words were going so fast they blurred together.

“It’s almost like fate,” Jesse agreed, stabbing at a bit of egg on his plate. He chewed it slowly to avoid the conversation springing around him. Jester and Jackson just seemed to hit it off, talking about what business they could. Milly would join in every once and awhile with prompting from Jackson, although she had stopped eating and was mostly playing with her food. Her dirty blonde hair fell into her eyes and she was chewing on her lips. Unlike Jester Milly didn’t wear makeup, something Jesse found intriguing. Ren was eating normally, but stayed quiet with a frown. His parents worked in the daonlathach section of government, called daon for short. People that worked in that area of government voted on issues to be brought before the council. Both of Ren’s parents worked as part of the daon so neither were home often. As such Ren resented politics a bit and would rant about it to Jesse whenever one of his parents were held up at work.

When the bell rang Jesse was glad to escape the little hell he was subjected to. Maybe last year he would have liked that Jester go along with his friends but he knew better now. She would lie to them, hurt them, maybe even use them. For what, he didn’t know, but he didn’t want them to be hurt by her. Then they would leave. A nauseous feeling followed him as he walked to English class. Jester was in that class too along with Ren. The classroom was large and had thirty chairs in rows of five. The walls were a soft slightly desaturated light blue that the teacher, Mx. Crane, claimed, would help keep the classroom calm. Jesse sat in the second row at a dark brown plastic table that was made to look like bark but didn’t feel so. His chair was also plastic, a maroon color with a rough texture. He was one of the first students in the classroom. A blonde quiet girl with a ponytail sat in the back kept to herself, all the way on the other side of her table was a mixed boy with short black hair. Jesse ignored them and pulled a pencil out of his pants pocket. More students trickled in finding the same seats they had been sitting in since day one. Ren, who now carried a bag, took the seat to the right of Jesse. Ren pulled out a blue spiral bound notebook before letting the bag drop to the floor with a loud thud. Ren had a pencil behind his ear which he pulled out before opening to a new page in his notebook and writing the date. Jesse rolled his eyes. Ren liked to take extra notes, other than the worksheets the teacher provided. Jesse only took notes in math and science, anything he didn’t remember he could just ask Ren. Jester was one of the last students to come in and took the seat directly behind Jesse. Jester sat next to a girl with short blondish brownish hair that Jesse rarely saw around the school. She was probably in a lower section like thirteen or fourteen. Mx. Crane started class by having them write for five minutes about a prompt and supplying paper. The prompt was ‘what did you do over vacation?’

Jesse wrote slowly thinking over every word before putting it down. He attempted to use more sophisticated language to describe his activities, but he didn’t put much down and he tried to spell every word he did manage to get down correctly. By the end of the five minutes Jesse only had three sentences to share, which was only a little less than he normally wrote with these prompts. Looking to his side Jesse saw that Ren had a nice paragraph scrawled with big letters that escaped outside the lines meant to contain them.

“Alright class, share with the person next to you.” Mx. Crane announced and Jesse turned to Ren with a smile. Ren had the opposite problem that Jesse had when it came to writing. He just wrote whatever came to mind. His thoughts were incoherent and whenever Ren read out loud he would try to make sense of whatever he’d put down. It normally took up all their speaking time but it never failed to make Jesse laugh.

“So then after I realized that it was a plate that broke and I had stepped on a shard that didn’t cut my foot I tried to pick it up but it did cut my finger which started bleeding so I-”

“Please move to another person to talk to,” Mx. Crane spoke over the class and Ren gave Jesse a sheepish grin in apology for not giving him a chance to talk once again. Jesse smiled back before rushing over to the short blondish brownish haired girl instead of Jester. He saw out of the corner of his eye Jester tense up before moving to find someone else.

“Hi there, my name’s Jesse, what’s yours?” Jesse asked all of this while taking Jester’s previous seat. Ren was talking to someone very pale and short in the front row. The blondish brownish haired girl shifted in her seat and scooted back from Jesse a bit. Her mouth seemed to be permanently stuck in a small frown.

“Ginger,” despite her small stature, her voice was deeper than most girls Jesse knew and she spoke quietly. Her gray blue eyes stayed on her paper. Jesse smiled at her in hopes to make her more comfortable.

“That’s a nice name, do you want me to read first, or do you want to go?” He made sure to give her options, perhaps she would feel better if she felt more in control.

“You can go,” her voice was flat and Jesse noticed there were bags under her eyes. He suddenly wasn’t sure if she was just shy or if there was something else going on.

“Alright, I didn’t get the chance to write much,” he cleared his throat before continuing. “Over the three day vacation my Mother and I traveled to an ice cream parlor. Afterwards the majority of my time was spent in our large home, playing games with my many alien figurines. Along with playing I also had plenty of invigorating conversations with my Mother,” Jesse read out, unable to keep the pride out of his voice at his use of the word ‘invigorating’. Ginger’s facial expression didn’t change, her fingers just rubbed her own paper rhythmically. Jesse wondered if she was listening. It took a few more moments of silence before Ginger looked up at him. “That’s all I have…” Jesse didn’t smile at her this time, he couldn’t keep eye contact.

“Oh, I didn’t do anything over break,” Ginger mumbled. Jesse severely doubted that seeing as there was plenty written on her paper but he wasn’t going to push. Ginger began shading an empty square onto her paper and it became clear that there wasn’t much hope for a conversation to spark up. There was still plenty of time left before the teacher would make them switch partners again. Many people were just taking this opportunity to randomly talk about anything with their friends. Although the back of the classroom was louder than the front. Jesse looked back to try and figure out what all the noise was about. It was hard to spot at first because when anything goes down in a classroom of course everyone will start to talk about it, but it became clear when the offenders got even louder than before. The blonde in the pony tail was arguing with the boy with black hair that had been sitting on the far other side of the table. Now they were a seat apart and Jester sat in the middle of them. She looked uncomfortable, she had scooted her seat back but there wasn’t any space for her to truly escape their yelling. Jesse strained to understand what they were shouting but on top of all the other voices he couldn’t decipher what was going on between them.

“Jenny, Joey, enough,” Mx. Crane projected sternly with their voice. The rest of the class quieted down but the two of them kept going, now partially directed at the teacher as well. Jester shrunk in on herself further. If the two of them were arguing with her Jesse was sure she would be thriving, but with both of them just trapping her in while ignoring her existence there was nothing much to do. He supposed she could just crawl under the table.

“I’m not going to stop until he can explain why he can’t mind his own fucking business!” The blonde apparently named Jenny shouted.

“Language Miss Lake!” Mx. Crane yelled back.

“I just told you to lay off and have some common decency! It’s not other people’s fault how they were born,” Joey went on, his fists were shaking.

“That’s bullshit your parents feed you so you don’t feel bad about your section. News flash, we’re in fifteen! We’re not going anywhere in life, and the only reason she will is because she has money. So stop defending her rich ass and get a clue,” Jenny snarled making such wide gestures that they almost hit Jester, who was dodging the best she could.

“I have a clue, I’m just not a cynical bitch like you!” Joey yelled back but something about his voice changed. There was an echo to it and his fists were shaking so bad that they were pounding on the table.

“No you’re just a freak like me who can’t accept it.” Mx. Crane left the room at Jenny’s last statement and it was becoming clear why. Joey’s skin moved like there were bubbles underneath it and Jenny seemed too still.

“Shut up,” Joey growled, his echo clear and deep. Jesse felt his heart rate pick up and he looked towards Ren who was fidgeting, eyes switching from the two angry kids to the door. The back of Joey’s shirt bulged until bloody wings of bone tore through. Someone in the classroom started screaming. Skin began growing on the wings then feather like hairs. Jenny’s eyes widened and she stood up, but the strange position of how her and Joey had moved closer during their argument, and Jester only being half back since the wall blocked her from going any further, Jenny tripped on the leg of Jester’s chair causing her to grab Jester’s arm for support. Jester cried out and Jenny quickly let go revealing dead skin where her hand had been. All the while Joey’s transformation continued, his fingers grew longer and nails thicker with points. Markings appeared on his face and one eye’s whites flooded black and the iris shined a metallic red.

“Run,” Joey’s voice was layered and echoed, not many people needed to be told twice. Ren bolted out the classroom along with quite a few other students. Jenny pushed a chair at Joey when she went to run but it only managed to hit Jester’s knee. Jesse looked between Jester and Joey; then at the door. It was only the three of them left inside. Jester struggled to walk. Jesse ran out of the door alone.

#learn to be #writeblr #tw violence #tw discrimination

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cyborgsquirrel · 4 years

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Sanctuary: Chapter 9

Pairing: Wolfstar

Summary: The epic tale of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, from their first meeting until their happily ever after.

Link to Prologue

Link to All Chapters

Sunday, 5th September 1971, 8:32 am

'Remus,' Sirius whispered.

Remus didn't stir.

'Remus, it's time for breakfast,' Sirius said a bit louder.

Remus still didn't move.

'Remus, wake up!' Sirius yelled.

Remus didn't even twitch.

'Mate, he probably won't want to go to the Great Hall, anyway. Let's just bring him something back, yeah?' James said.

'Yeah, you're right. You ready, Pete?'

'I've been ready for ten minutes.'

The three boys headed down to breakfast, enjoying the sight of several stray balloon animals still roaming free in the castle along the way.

'So, we have the entire day stretching out before us. What shall we do?' James asked as they sat down at the Gryffindor table.

Sirius reached for some sausages and bacon. 'Well, we have three pieces of homework due tomorrow.'

James scowled. 'That is not what I meant.'

'I know, I just wanted to see your face,' Sirius said, laughing.

'We could do some more exploring,' Peter said before taking a massive bite of the big breakfast sandwich he had built for himself.

James pointed at him with a proud expression. 'That's more like it. See, Sirius, Peter knows how to entertain a man. Are you taking notes?'

'I would, but you made your opinion on schoolwork very clear,' Sirius said with a smirk.

'Good, you're learning.' James gave him an approving nod. 'Now, exploring,' he said, leaning in close to the others. 'I think we should walk the corridors, checking all the tapestries and portraits now we know passages can be hidden behind them.'

'Sounds good to me.'

'Me too.'

'Great, let's finish up here then and get going. The sooner we leave, the more time we'll have to find secrets.'

'We need to take some food back for Remus first, though,' Sirius said.

'Oh right, yeah,' James said. He grabbed some napkins, and Sirius helped him assemble a monumental sandwich from all the best breakfast foods. James put an apple in his pocket and grabbed one for himself before insisting both Sirius and Peter take a piece of fruit too.

They hurried back upstairs and reached the dorm in record time, only to find it empty. Remus had already left.

'Well, that's just great,' James said, scowling at Remus' empty bed. 'We go to all that trouble and he's not even here.'

'Maybe he's in the bathroom,' Peter said. He walked over to the bathroom door and pushed it open to check. 'Nope, not here.'

'Dammit, I thought we were making progress last night,' Sirius said, flopping down on to his bed in a manner he hoped was suitably dramatic.

'Maybe you should stop trying,' James said.

Sirius pushed himself up on his elbows and stared at James. 'What? Why would I do that?'

'Well, he's making it pretty clear he doesn't want to be friends with us. He avoids us as much as he can.'

'But he didn't know we were bringing breakfast back for him.' Sirius shot to his feet. 'I want to look for him.'

'The castle is huge, and he could be anywhere. Let's just leave the food here and explore as we planned. We might come across him.'

Sirius deflated. 'Yeah, okay.'

Sirius was disappointed. He thought Remus was coming around after he accepted his peace offering the night before, but apparently, it wasn't going to be that easy.

-o-o-o-o-

Sunday, 5th September 1971 6:24 pm

'Master Remus, sir? You must wakes up now. It is time to go to the hospital wing.'

Remus groaned. The high-pitched voice of the house-elf made his brain buzz. There was no other way of describing the uncomfortable sensation in his head, his brain was buzzing with every syllable. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

'Thanks for waking me, Breen.' Remus glanced around at the storage room. 'And thanks for letting me sleep here. This bed is really comfy.'

'Is no problem, Master Dumbledores told us to look after you, and Breen is noticing you is tired this morning. You almost fell asleep in your breakfasts.'

'I did, didn't I?' Remus said with a chuckle.

'You must go, Master Remus, or you wills be late, and Madame Pomfrey doesn't likes people being late.' The elf stared at him with wide, pleading eyes.

'Yes, right. I'm going now.' Remus pushed himself to his feet and headed for the door. 'Thanks again, Breen. See you in a couple of days,' he called over his shoulder.

'Good lucks tonight, Master Remus.'

Remus smiled to himself as he left the kitchen. The elves were so kind. His smile faded, though, when he recalled the events of that morning. He felt guilty for shunning his dorm mates, Sirius' first try had woken him, but he pretended to still be asleep. It was for the best, though. Sleep had been hard to come by the night before. He had lain awake for a long time wondering if he should befriend them or not, but had decided keeping them at a distance would be best. Sirius was already paying far too much attention to his movements. Being his friend would only make his absences more noticeable.

Remus sighed as he pushed open the door to the hospital wing. It was a shame because he really did want to be friends, and it seemed like they wanted that too, but they wouldn't if they found out what he was. They would turn on him, and that would cause more pain than if he didn't become friends with them at all. He was at Hogwarts for an education, friendships weren't necessary. Remus sighed. Who was he trying to convince? He wanted friends, but he knew he couldn't have them.

'Ah, Mister Lupin. Well done for getting here on time,' Madam Pomfrey said, bustling out of her office.

'I wouldn't risk being late, Madam. That would be dangerous.'

'Of course. I'll just disillusion you and then we'll go.'

Madam Pomfrey tapped him on the head with her wand, and he felt the familiar sensation creep down his spine before she led him to the doors of the hospital wing and out to the grounds, holding doors open long enough for him to pass through them along the way.

Once outside, they strolled across the manicured lawn towards an enormous tree. The Whomping Willow, Dumbledore had called it. He said it "guarded" the entrance to the tunnel. Remus wondered how a tree could guard something. As they got closer, he understood. With an ear-splitting creak, the tree sprang to life, its branches swinging around at high speed and thumping the ground around it as if warding off predators. That'll be where the "whomping" comes from, Remus thought.

Madam Pomfrey levitated a stick with her wand. 'Watch carefully, I expect you'll be doing this for yourself eventually,' she said, before manoeuvring the stick to poke a knot at the base of the tree. The branches froze in place, and Madam Pomfrey ushered him forward and into a hole hidden in the folds of the trunk. The hole opened out into a narrow tunnel carved from the earth. Remus was small enough to walk upright, but Madam Pomfrey had to bend almost double to avoid hitting her head on the ceiling.

'I can't wait until you learn Colloportus so I don't have to come down here to drop you off. Rubeus could have made it bigger,' she grumbled.

'I'll try to learn as soon as possible, I'm sorry.' Remus felt a flash of guilt that she was suffering on his behalf.

'Oh, it's not your fault, sweetheart. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. It's just with the size of Hagrid, you'd expect the tunnel to be far too big, not too narrow,' she said, giving Remus a cheeky smile.

Remus grinned back. 'Yeah, you're right, he's huge. How did he even fit in here to dig it?'

'I think his dog did most of the work. Ah, here we are.'

They had reached the end of the tunnel. Before them was a dead end, but there was a trapdoor in the ceiling with a ladder descending from it. Madam Pomfrey pushed the trapdoor open and climbed the ladder, and Remus followed. The trapdoor opened into a large empty room; the window was boarded up, but there were minuscule gaps between the boards allowing a small amount of light to filter into the room. There was a fireplace in one wall, complete with roaring fire warming the small house, but no other furniture.

'The fire's enchanted to light itself if the temperature drops below 18 degrees, and it'll adjust to keep the room pleasant. We don't want you to be cold.'

'That's…' Remus was lost for words. 'Thank you.'

Madam Pomfrey smiled at him. 'It's no more than you should expect. If you need anything else, please let me know. There's a ward on the fire so the wolf won't be able to burn himself, and a bed upstairs. I'll be back to get you at eight-thirty tomorrow morning. Moonset is around twenty-past. Okay?'

'Yes, thank you, Madam Pomfrey. You should go, it's almost time.'

'Yes. Right. Good luck, Remus. I'll lock the trapdoor behind me.'

She hurried to the trapdoor and Remus watched her leave, listening for the click that indicated the trapdoor was locked. He tested it to make sure before climbing the stairs to check out the bed. There were two rooms upstairs. One was a small bathroom with white tiles, a toilet, bath and sink. The other was a bedroom. Literally a room with a bed in it. It was a small single bed with a pillow and blanket. Remus was dubious about the soft furnishings. The wolf had a history of ripping anything like that to shreds, but there was nothing he could do about it. There was nowhere he could hide them.

He climbed onto the bed and curled up to wait. He wasn't waiting for long. The first warning tingles spread through him, and he moved to all fours to avoid any unfortunate angles when his limbs transformed. He focused on his breathing, trying to hold back the screams, not wanting to scare the villagers, but the pain became too much and he gave in with a soul-wrenching roar.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius, James, and Peter had spent all day exploring. They had found multiple hidden alcoves which would be great for hiding in when they were running from Filch, two secret passages which would be useful short-cuts and a room behind a portrait which they were all sure they could definitely find a use for. But not Remus. They hadn't seen any sign of him all day, and Sirius was growing increasingly worried.

'It's almost time for your meeting with McGonagall, isn't it?' James asked as they traversed the first floor.

'Yeah, I should get going.' Sirius was not looking forward to this meeting. He didn't know what to expect, and his stomach was doing somersaults in anticipation.

James scanned his face. 'Want us to come with? We can wait outside for you.'

A warm feeling blossomed in Sirius' chest at the offer. 'You wouldn't mind?' he asked.

'I'm offended at the suggestion that you thought we might. Of course we don't mind.' James grabbed his arm. 'Let's go.'

Ten minutes later, they arrived at Professor McGonagall's office. They were two minutes early, which was good considering her dire warning against being late, and Sirius knocked timidly.

'Enter,' came from inside in McGonagall's stern voice.

'Good luck, mate. We'll be right here,' James said, patting him on the shoulder and flashing him a reassuring grin.

When Sirius walked in, Professor McGonagall was seated behind her desk, leaning back in her chair. 'Good to see you here on time, Mister Black. Have a seat,' she said.

Sirius did as instructed, feeling very small and alone in the large room.

Professor McGonagall smiled at him. 'There's no need to be afraid, Mister Black. This meeting is not a punishment. It is merely an opportunity for you to tell us if there is anything worrying you that might be preventing you from following the rules and making good decisions.'

Sirius' anxiety calmed a little at her words. He twiddled his thumbs in his lap, trying to decide how to respond. The idea of telling her about his home life made his insides squirm, but he couldn't think of a good excuse.

'In my experience as a professor here at Hogwarts, children who arrive at school and immediately start pushing boundaries have usually had far too many restrictions put on them at home. Does that sound like an accurate assessment to you?' she prompted.

'Yes, Professor.'

'You will find that you have a lot more freedom here at Hogwarts than you might be used to, and it is understandable that you may find that overwhelming and go too far. We have no wish to stop you from being children and having fun; however, the rules that we do have are there for a reason.' She leant forward in her seat. 'While your mischief outside of the Slytherin common room didn't harm anyone, it did create a lot of work for Mr Filch, who has quite enough to do already without students creating more work for him. What you did in Potions, though, was far more dangerous. You could have seriously harmed another student, which could lead to your expulsion. Something I am certain you do not want.'

Sirius' head shot up. 'No, Ma'am.'

The last thing he wanted was to go back home in disgrace. His mother might even kill him if that happened.

'Then I can trust that you will be less impulsive in future?'

Sirius hesitated. She was being so kind and not at all accusing or condemning as he had expected. The last thing he wanted to do was lie to her, and he wasn't sure he could keep a promise to not be impulsive. That was a part of his nature he had never been able to control.

He swallowed the lump in his throat before answering. He felt like he was letting her down. 'I can promise to try, Ma'am, but I can't promise I'll succeed. I've never been very good at controlling my impulses.'

To his surprise, Professor McGonagall smiled at his answer. 'Thank you for your honesty. I am quite satisfied with your promise to try. I believe that you mean it and that you will do your very best from now on.'

Sirius fell a little bit in love with her at that moment. What a truly wonderful woman, he thought. He wished his mother was more like her.

James and Peter were waiting for him outside the office, just as they had promised. Sirius' face broke out in an uncontrollable grin at the sight of his amazing friends. He was feeling lighter than air after his meeting, and their presence only added to his joy.

'Looks like it went well,' James said, grinning back.

'It did, very well. McGoogles is a marvellous woman, and I defy anyone to say otherwise.'

'McGoogles?' Peter said.

'Yes. My McGoogles. I'm going to marry her one day.'

James and Peter burst out laughing.

'You laugh now, my friends, but you'll see. You won't be laughing when you're the best men at our wedding,' Sirius said, using his best aristocratic voice and sticking his nose in the air.

'If you say you're going to marry her, then I believe you, mate,' James said, slapping Sirius on the back. 'Never let it be said that I doubted the charms of the great Sirius Black.'

The three boys returned to the common room and went straight up to their dorm. They all had homework due the next day and knew they could put it off no longer. The noise in the common room was far too much to be able to concentrate, so the dorm was the better option. They were distracted from their goal, though, when they entered the room to find the monumental breakfast sandwich they had left for Remus still sitting on his bedside table. Had he not been back to the room all day?

Sirius scowled at the sandwich as if it had mortally offended him and then turned to James. 'Do you think Remus is okay? I didn't see him in the common room.'

'I'm sure he's fine,' James said with a sigh. 'There's still an hour until curfew. Let's just get this homework done.'

They all settled onto their own beds and pulled out the necessary books and equipment. Over the next two hours, the silence was broken only by the scratching of quills and the odd question being asked to the room at large and answered by whoever could offer help. Sirius glanced up from his work frequently to stare at the door and bite his nails in concern at Remus' prolonged absence.

When they had all finished and put away their books, Sirius felt it was safe to raise the topic again.

'It's well after curfew now, and he's still not back.'

'He could be in the common room,' James said.

'Hang on,' Sirius said, jumping to his feet and dashing from the room. He ran down the stairs and searched the common room with his eyes before returning to the dorm. 'Nope, not there.'

'Okay. Maybe there is something wrong. Do you want to check if he's in the hospital wing?' James asked.

'Yes. Yes, I do.' Sirius said without a second's thought.

James grinned and grabbed the invisibility cloak from his trunk. 'Okay then, let's go.'

The three boys made it to the first floor without a hitch and were halfway down the corridor to the hospital wing when they found themselves cornered by Mrs Norris, the caretaker's cat. She stared at them with her bright yellow eyes, seeming to know they were there despite the cloak.

'Can she see us?' Sirius whispered.

James shushed him.

Mrs Norris mewled loudly, and then sat down and began cleaning herself, as if to say she had plenty of time and was fully prepared to wait them out.

'Let's go in here,' Peter said, moving them towards a door. They entered the room and looked around. It was an unused classroom but didn't seem to have been out of use for long. The furnishings were all still present, there were even books still on the shelves.

'Good idea, Pete. We'll just wait until that blasted cat buggers off, and then we can go find out what's happened to Remus. If it was Snivellus again, I'll make him pay for it,' Sirius said, recalling what the slimy git had done to Remus in the owlery.

A gravelly voice sounded from down the corridor. 'What's that, my pretty? Is it students out of bed? Show me where you saw them.'

'Shit! It's Filch. What are we going to do?' Sirius hissed.

'Look around, see if there's another way out of this room. If ever we needed to find a hidden passage, it's now!' James said.

They all scrambled around the walls, checking anything that could possibly hide a secret entrance.

'Here!' James called quietly.

He was standing next to the blackboard, which he had slid to one side, revealing a gap in the wall behind it big enough for a small person to climb in. James climbed in first, hurrying down the passage on his hands and knees to make room for the others. Peter followed him, needing a boost from Sirius to reach the hole, and Sirius entered last, pulling the blackboard back across to cover their exit. They crawled down the narrow passage for several minutes before reaching a dead end.

'Dammit, there's nowhere else to go. What's the point in a secret passage that doesn't lead anywhere?' James said, sounding annoyed.

'We can't go back yet. We don't know how long Filch will wait around for us to come out,' Sirius said.

'I know. We'll have to stay here for a bit.'

Sirius shifted around, trying to find a comfortable position to wait in. Eventually, he settled on just lying down. He pulled his robes off to cushion his head, and the others did the same.

'Well, this is a delightful way to spend a Sunday evening. Do you come here often?' Sirius joked.

'Oh yes. I like nothing more than lying in a dusty, cramped passageway with my closest friends,' James said, laughing.

'Nothing says "a good time" like hiding from an evil caretaker in a filthy hole in the wall,' Peter agreed, chuckling.

-o-o-o-o-

When the wolf woke up, he was lying on something soft. This was new. Opening his eyes, he looked around. He was in a small space, not as cramped as the last place though, and there was an opening in one of the walls. After jumping down from the soft surface, he padded over to the opening and sniffed around, but couldn't smell anything other than his own scent.

Walking out, he found another walled-in space, but there was an opening in the ground and a slope that led down. He walked down the slope and into yet another walled space. There was a fire burning in one wall, and he shied away from the danger. He observed the fire cautiously for a few moments, but it didn't seem to be growing, and he determined that it was safe enough for now. The heat coming off it felt nice against his fur.

He sniffed the air again and caught a whiff of that delicious smell he liked so much. He followed it to a shape carved into the ground. Whatever the smell was, it had gone down there. He scratched at the floor in desperation to get at the smell, but to no avail. It was impossible to break through. He huffed in annoyance.

The wolf turned his attention back to his new surroundings. The bigger space was a welcome change, but he wondered how he had gotten there. Whatever it was that kept moving him while he slept was very good at it. He spent some time wandering around, smelling everything and marking his territory, before curling up in front of the fire. He kept one eye open to make sure the flames remained safe, but otherwise just enjoyed the pleasant heat. It made a nice change from the cold stone of his previous cage.

When he began to feel the pull of sleep, he padded back up to the soft place he had woken up. Jumping up, he circled a few times, digging his claws into the squishy surface until he had it just right and then he curled up to sleep. He hoped he would still be there when he woke up the next day.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius groaned. His back was killing him. He rolled over and wondered why his bed felt like cold stone instead of the soft Hogwarts' mattress.

'James? Did you do something to my bed, you git?'

'No mate, you're not in your bed. None of us are. We must have fallen asleep in the passage last night.'

Sirius opened his eyes and looked around at the pitch-black darkness. James was right.

'Shit! What time is it?'

'No idea, can't see a thing.'

'Okay, let's get out of here.'

Sirius rolled onto his stomach and clambered onto his hands and knees. He began crawling backwards down the tunnel, and the others followed suit.

'Merlin, I am so sore,' Peter grumbled. 'Let's never spend the night on a stone floor again.'

'That is the best idea you've ever had. I completely agree,' Sirius said, just as his feet hit the back of the blackboard. 'Hope Filch has gone.' He reached behind him to push the blackboard to the side and then jumped down out of the hole and quickly looked around. The room was empty. Thank Merlin.

'No one here. Looks like we got away with it.'

Peter jumped down, followed by James, who checked his watch.

'Maybe not. It's nine o'clock. We're half an hour late for Herbology.'

'Shit! We are going to be in so much trouble,' Sirius said, thinking about the promise he had made to McGonagall the day before. Sneaking out after curfew and falling asleep in a hidden hole in the wall could not be considered good decisions, by any definition. He had let her down already.

'What should we do?' Peter asked. 'Go to Herbology or skip it and hope no one notices?'

'We can't go to class like this. Look at the state of us,' Sirius said, looking down with disgust at his own filthy clothes and hands. 'I don't know about you two, but I definitely want a shower.'

'Me too.' James said, 'That's two votes for skipping. Let's go.'

They made it back to their dorm without incident. The Fat Lady gave them an odd look for their appearance, but she allowed them through without comment. Remus' sandwich was still sitting by his bed. He can't have been back to the room at all. If he had been, surely he would have disposed of it?

They all showered and put on clean clothes, before crowding onto James' bed to brainstorm excuses in case their absence had been noticed.

'Can't we just say we all overslept?' Peter asked.

'No, I don't think so. They would have checked the dorm, wouldn't they?' Sirius said.

'Yeah, probably. Best not to risk it,' James said. 'I vote we just tell the truth: Remus didn't come back before curfew, and we were worried about him. We were afraid of being caught out of bed and hid from Filch and fell asleep.'

'They can't be mad at us for being worried about a friend, can they?' Peter said.

'It might work, but won't it get Remus into trouble too?' Sirius said.

'Mate, he's been missing for over twenty-four hours. If he isn't in class and they don't know where he is, then I think we need to tell someone at this point.'

Sirius thought back to the smashed potions bottle and hoped Remus hadn't overdosed on something and wasn't lying close to death in an abandoned classroom somewhere.

'Yeah, maybe you're right,' he said.

Chapter 10

#wolfstar #wolfstar fanfic #remus x sirius

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