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formulinos · 3 years

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Hyperfixation Corner: A Special | Undestanding (and Ranking) the Landogates

Oh, what is Formula 1 if not a concoction of men who are products of their times and women that are so much better than them. We have had our share of controversial figures, whether they gladly took the role of the villain or found themselves as a parachute for trouble. It's not different that the masses in 2021 would latch onto charismatic figures looking for guidance in these so trying times or, even worse, look for something that just isn't there as means of a distraction to the utter chaos that is the Roaring 20s of the XXI century.

This is the case of Lando Norris, milk aficcionado and McLaren-Tangerine driver. Lando is practically a child of Y2K, born in November of 2021 and carefully crafted by the British system of drivers to be one of the next generation drivers of our era. He also happens to seem to be a light-hearted boy, who just likes to drive his fast cars and play his silly little video games, but once you unpeel the outer layers, you might just be surprised. Fundamentally speaking, Lando Norris has the motorsport bravado and never shied away from the opportunities that fell in front of him, but to his demise, his loyal army of Lando fans are always by his side, ready to dissect his every move whether he likes it or not.

Today, we're going in the lions' den and ranking the most memorable out of Lando's little run-ins with the outer society, fondly called by the F1 populace "Landogates".

Before we start, I would just like to thank the 25 Lando stans or former Lando stans that talked to me or answered the form - and to those who attempted to contact me but Tumblr is a bitch and I was also sick so there's that. Anyway, I really appreciate your help and I have learned a lot from you! Thanks for helping science!

5) Fanficgate

No, this isn't about the Reddit meltdown that happened in the beginning of the year, although that was a choice too. We're talking about December 15, 2020, when Team Quadrant posts a very harrowing tweet that will enter the annals of history.

The format is quite known: celebrity goes into social media content about him, reads everything and does funny lighthearted comments or snaps back at the haters. Naturally, all sections of the fandom go insane and start to discuss whether Lando will find out about this or about that and so did f1blr, blowing things out of proportion like one would. People started posting "Lando I'm so sorry" or "Hey Lando, if you're reading this hiiii". TBF I even think I did too, although I hit my head and my memory is glitching ever since. Anyway, the ethics of shipping Carlando were discussed, the ethics of fanfiction were discussed, the ethics of stalking were discussed, but here's the error though: Tumblr believed they were a social media worthy of recognition in 2020.

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My guy wasn't even CLOSE to tumblr. TBH? Coward. It's easy to go on Twitter/Reddit, try spending one day in this Godless land. Anyway, the fact that we all suffered from collective delusion there - including those of us who knew there was no way in hell Lando would read their 50k childhood friends to lovers carlando one shot but still had a meltdown - makes it a non-entity gate and therefore, the worst ranked out of those. Overall, the people I interviewed were like "lol oop that was nothing" so, I think the fandom agrees with that one. I rate this a 1 out of 5 suggestive lando pic

4) Feetgate

This is the Funniest Shit ever and nothing will ever compare to this. The only reason I'm ranking this so low is because the following three are more based on reality, but this is the narrative I want to be included in. Absolutely legendary.

It starts with Sylvana IJsselmuiden, Formula 1 legend (I'm calling her like this from now on) and Dutch personality. Sylvie went on a podcast called "F1 Aan Tafel" on December 7, 2020 and started dropping barz on barz about Formula 1 drivers sliding on her DMs and sending her dick pics (if you know Dutch, here's the link. The Queen of Feet starts talking about it on min 32:50 if I'm not mistaken - I heard a Leclerc in Dutch accent and I am worried). Basically, she says that Lando shoots his shot constantly on DMs and that there are talks of him sending dick pics around, so she decided to answer the last time he had hit her up and see what happens.

Everybody gangsta until Sylvana said she photoshopped pictures of her feet to make them thicker and sent them to Lando, who responded with 'sexy feet'. Anyway, again, meltdown ensued. Some people latched onto the fact that Lando allegedly send unconsented dick pics to women (that is shit if true), some people decided to DM him their feet (this is so funny i am 10) and some people were just laughing at this, especially considering that when this came out it was really late at night for the Europeans and they would wake up with whiplash.

There were also people who tried to discredit Sylvana because she photoshops herself with drivers on her instagram. To me these look like a joke but even if she wanted to pass them off as reality, you know what? If she says she went to a bike trail with Lewis then to me that's real. She is my queen and God forgive who disrespects my queen.

Mostly, people just laughed at the fact Lando can't get no coochie and has a foot fetish because come on. Come ON. But also, the sentiment is that it's his life and a foot fetish is as normal in these days as wearing a mask to go out (I hope to FUCK no anti-maskers are reading this). The extra funny part is that Lando keeps going back to feetgate himself, by constantly talking about his socks during streams, having a foot cam (I mean, most drivers do anyway because they think it's interesting to see their feet while they play racing video games. I don't think it's even interesting to watch people play video games but well, I like to write things people will never read so who am I to judge). Here are two tidbits: one of Lando himself resurrecting Feetgate from the dead and one of Noel Miller also indirectly referring to it

This is stellar, fuck it. I rate this a 5/5 Sylvana's feet

3) Portugalgate

Portimão was definitely one of the races of all time. For Lando, it had started brightly as he was Top 3 in the first practice session (as if this meant anything) but by Qualis, we knew it was going to get real as he landed in P8, behind Carlos his beloved. The race wasn't sexy either at all, and while his teammate moved up, he actually got left behind, and by Lap 18 his race was as good as dead when he bumped with Lance Stroll, who thought the gap in Turn 1 existed. In case you guys don't remember, on Friday Lance had also had an incident with Max Verstappen on that same Turn - and tbh I think Max was just as amateur there as Lance.

Naturally, Lando wasn't happy at the moment, using some choice words at Lance. To be quite honest I am not English, so I have genuinely no idea of the impact this has in society, but most of the Brits that talked to me were the ones who highlighted his use of the C-word while the non-Brits didn't even look at it, so that's curious. He apologises for his language at the end of the GP on radio, but boy, he was ready to go wild.

Post race interviews come, he's still not happy: "He obviously didn't learn from Friday but he doesn't seem to learn from anything he does. It happens a lot with him, so I just need to stay away," he said to a reporter who couldn't believe the gold he had just found. Later, he was also asked on his thoughts about Lewis Hamilton's incredible 92 GP Victories, a record he had just taken away from Michael Schumacher's hands. His answer was very sweet: “It doesn’t mean anything to me, really. He’s in a car which should win every race, basically. He has to beat one or two other drivers, that’s it. Fair play to him, he’s still doing the job he has to do.” (I only found the video with Brazilian commentators on top, muh bad).

He was also not done with Lance, having a dig at him on Insta:

Yeah, you can tell the major reception of this was,,,, not what Lando expected. I sincerely think he got post-rant clarity because the Twitter apology came faster than the Merc in Portugal.

(lmao I love when people say "I am not that kind of person" in their apologies as if they weren't caught in 4k being that sort of person). To be honest, even though the wide majority of F1 fans thought that Lando was goofy as all fuck for having said the Lewis comments, there are still apologists who think that he was just saying what we were all thinking, while Lance's were just part of the game and he was in the heat of the moment, he was also raging still when he also talked about Lewis, it was a bad moment.

To be quite honest as well, there were quite a few discussions about Lando not being mindful of the race factor when he jabbed at Lewis - some people thought he should have been, some people actually thought that for once someone was assessing the situation as it really is and that removing the "activism" part of the equation was reasonable as cars are cars, political disarray is political disarray. The Lando stans I spoke to were quite divided about this as well, more than the Lance comments and many thought he was a bitch while the rest argued that "he said what we're all thinking".

There was still a very poignant comment about how part of Lando's identity as a media darling in Britain is that he is the anti-Lewis, and I am going to quote it here because it just…. NGL lads it gave me pause:

"Lewis gets hate for not living in the UK and “tax dodging”, Lando lives here. Lewis gets hate for being in the best car. Lando can’t be accused of that one. Lewis gets hate for being black, I don’t need to explain that one. Some even claim he gets preferential treatment because he is the only black driver. Lewis gets hate for his clothes, Lando seems to live in black or white. Lewis active support of BLM got him criticism because he should just stick to racing, however Lando’s vocal support of BLM, his support of Mind and his genuinely sweet support and friendship with Sir Captain Tom Moore was applauded. Lewis speaks his mind, gets slated. Lando speaks his mind, gets slated by his fans but Joe public F1 fans think he amazing for speaking his mind. There are people who actively oppose his knighthood. When you see what other sport stars have been given knighthood for in this country, 5 and 6 times Olympic Gold Medalist, 2 x Wimbledon Winner and 2 x Olympic Gold Medalist. I think he’s in that elite bracket now dont you? Lando is celebrated for just not be Lewis by some Brits. Is it any wonder George keeps his mouth shut?"

I am thinking. I really didn't know Lando was that deep - and honestly after learning more about him straight from his fans mouth's I still don't, but the Lando lore does have meaning. Amazing. Either way, people cannot claim this was all one time road rage if Carlos' commented that Lando goes into terrible moods even while playing golf. GOLF. Mayhaps a therapist could help. However, since he did apologise and then managed to keep his mouth shut about Lance and congratulated Lewis on his WDC later on, one must not dwell too much on these things. I rate this one a 3 out of 5 world records.

2) COVIDgate

This was low. Like, very low. Basically, Max Fewtrell did a livestream and discussed going to Dubai for the holidays (around December 29, 2020. wow all of these really happened in like a week). Max basically made it seem as if Lando would join him and @sebastonstroll, braver than the US marines actually caught some blurry screenshots of Lando's arm and wristwatch during one of the Dubai streams (actually, that was a joke. but God liked and subscribed so I think maybe we could call it "pioneering" instead). That's all fine, I mean, places are there to be visited, except there is this little thing called a "coronavirus" or something I'm not a doctor, which means that you kinda should stay at home…. and there is like, the Law or something that kinda makes it so you have to stay at home as well. I am not an expert on any of these things, but it sounds like Somerset, where Lando lives, was in a Tier 3 Lockdown, which means "sit yo ass down", so the plate was served.

Now, it was the holidays, we were all frustrated I'm sure and overall, there wasn't a lot of meat on that beef stew for one to actually feel well-fed, so there were again discussions on the ethics of stalking, how thin was the line between stanning and paranoia and why. Most fans kinda relaxed and reached the conclusion there was no way this could be real since there was a tier 3 lockdown and Lando was just home for Christmas, but as the days went and suspicious screencaps showed up online, it was harder to discern the benefit of the doubt from denial.

Thankfully, there was no need to keep that debate going for long. Not so fortunately, that was because Lando joined the ranks of F1 drivers ahead of the game who didn't wait for the vaccine to become immune themselves.

The question that remained was: is he isolating in England, or in Dubai? Don't worry fellas, McLaren got him!

Considering Lando was as good as caught, McLaren took no time to 'fess up, and I mean, what would be the point to try and cover up if the whole purpose of Dubai during the pandemic is to be a safe haven for the rich and privileged to have parties for the 'Gram, right? However, they chose an intcheresting expression, "training camp". So, he was there for a scheduled team training camp… but he arrived there early… Ok, maybe so he could have a 14-day quarantine… except that didn't really land because if you knew where to look up you could even see his brother was in an ice rink one day after Lando announced his COVID diagnosis - and arguably as a "contact case" he should also be in quarantine. But that's fine, it's a team training camp and these things are common…. except Danny Ric didn't get the memo because he was doing a tour in Los Angeles as well. Well fuck me, then, Lando legitimate, royally, fucked that one up.

Talking to the Lando side of the website, no one was particularly happy. Doubts were raised about how people reacted to Lando's announcement in comparison to Pierre's or Charles', but like, I don't think one thing outweighs the other, and I agree with the sentiment that people were reasonably madder at Lando because he always sold the image of being a socially conscious person, while Charles' has always been dumb as all fuck and no one is really checking for Pierre, let's be honest. (well, we are checking for Pierre. more of that on #1). I asked the folks how they felt about McLaren's response as well, and the answers basically varied from "good on them" to "they totally lied to cover his ass lmao". At last, there were some valid points on how we're not entitled to know where Lando goes or what he is doing, fair, but then again, we're not exactly in the most "normal" of times, and there were a few sweethearts who were like "sincerely, I didn't even registered he had fucked up until after I digested the fact he had COVID, I was too busy being worried about him and wanting him to be healthy". Overall, the lowest of lows, really, no one was happy. I rate this begrudgingly a 4 out of 5 covid positive F1 drivers, genuinely not taking any pleasure in this.

1) Pierregate - I'm not gonna call this anything else. Too funny.

The one personality trait I was sure Lando had prior to 2021 was that he was thirsty. Like, mega thirsty. There are screencaps as far as July 2019 of him using his official IG account to like posts of Instagram models, which to me is most pleasing and amusing. I particularly enjoyed this compilation from @opendirection that led me the right way and no, I don't think Lando should use his finsta to get girls, or attempt to. He should be clear, he is here for coochi, so am I, coochi is great.

Enter Katerina Berezhna, a model/entrepreneur currently based in Dubai, and hot, very hot. Katerina had been in Lando's radar since September 2020 at the very least. They would have regulary IG activity - very well received by the most patrician of Lando fans, as you can see and by the Abu Dhabi GP, when he said he was taken, she was the most likely candidate to the role.

Covidgate comes and with it, some curious activity of Katerina. Seemingly, she takes down pictures of herself at the beach after the announcement and replaces them with pictures in her room, watching Netflix or doing yoga, kinda making it seem as if she was quarantining too. I don't come here, so I won't claim this is true, but I will tell you she has stories from Dubai up in her highlights and you can do the math that the yoga selfies that are up are from that time frame, so she was mostly indoors, officially at least.

Pierre gets to Dubai around the same time and also decides to party. Not only is he seen, but he is also perceived and pics of him in a party go around, we're all like "fucking hell Pierre, wear a mask, Lando just got COVID". However, if you go to the insta highlights I linked up there, the story right after the yoga pics is a story of Katerina in a beach party… where Pierre and her got clocked at together.

This is awkward. Anyway, the math was done by the most dedicated of Lando and Pierre stans alike, but this only blew up after right at the end of January, Pear also got, as they say it in French, l'infection.

After this, we got a very hard-hitting investigative piece of journalism by @ef-1, who uncovered how far their beef went: they don't follow each other on IG and as far as February, Pierre made a point of not liking Lando posts on McLaren's profile. This gave birth to one of my favourite screenshots of all time:

(btw, here's a picture of Pierre and Katerina FACTUALLY together. I have found none of Lando with Katerina)

Pierregate ranks the highest out of them all because it just brings out the best of all these people: Pierre has a history of being petty out of nothing, Lando has a history of not being able to get any and Katerina is so hot. None of the Lando stans that came to talk to me are actually in the sector that gave a real shit about this besides amusement and disgust at the fact they were most likely kissing the same mouth during a pandemic. Either way, it's their life and none of our business……. but this is so INTERESTING THO.

I would just like to state by the way: Katerina isn't a gold digger per se just because she dated or flirted with two formula 1 drivers, but IF SHE WAS, good for her. There is nothing more girlboss empowering than a Real Gold Digger™, and you know, many Sugar Baby/Daddy relationships are based on sexist concepts, while proper gold digging is one of the most sublime forms of historical reparations out there. I stand with my fellow opportunists. Good for you. I rank this a 5 out of 5 models that Lando liked an Instagram post of.

ROUND-UP: WHAT DID I LEARN FROM THIS

Well, I'm gonna be real with you all: my opinion of Lando and his fandom was very low before talking to his fans and actually looking deep at his controversies. It seems I'm not the only one, as all the fans I talked about quoted at some point the whole toxicity of the fandom and let the steam out. While I do think people take it TOO far when it comes to him, and it's not just here, all social media involving Lando are cesspools in one way or another, I do feel like I can relate to people more. To many, Lando is a young driver that is relatable, a lot of you were in the 20s age gap (and there are younger folks of course) who just has the sort of sense of humour and concerns that we do. There is still a great identity aspect of him being a British McLaren drivers, which is so strong a pull considering this is one of the greatest teams there are and Brits have historically bred world champions, who knows, Lando could be the next one.

That being said, I still kinda don't vibe with him. Not my type. But I do hope that 2021 brings a Lando that stays in his lane for the sake of internet and because my guy could take a break. It seems he is going on the right direction and taking F1 seriously, but also I hope he doesn't try to rehabilitate his image (not that he needs to, but clearly he WANTS to rebrand) too much to the point of losing himself. Also, I did not touch on this week's drama because I even asked around and people weren't able to tell me properly what happened, so there isn't anything much. I hope he behaved well though, if he didn't then I guess it's time to update this post lol.

Anyway, I guess my point is that everyone is kinda crazy, but I do think that Lando fans are kinda cool now. I cannot repeat this enough, thank you to everyone who spared some time to talk to me and let me know the scoops. This was your girl formulinos in a redux version of the Hyperfixation Corner - stay tuned for the next one that is done, but I needed to take a proper breather from it, you'll get why soon, I hope! Screw you guys, I'm going home :)

21/03/2020 - NEW ENTRY - SEXISMGATE In the words of the great philosopher Jake Paul, "it's everyday bro". The latest entry in the Landogate compilation is a series of clips taken from streams done by Max Fewtrell (at this point laid ease, honestly, if you guys stan Max F. I recommend a doctor, ngl) featuring Lando. Just a few days ago, a very progressive conversation was had during a game session (or whatever you call it, I'm not a gamer girl) of Escape From Tarkov. The clips have been cropped around and shared by @carlandonorri-s (big shout out to you, braver than US marines etc), but I got them backed up on streamable :D. Summaries:

1) Lando says that if a girl talks to you about star signs, you should leave. They talk about a certain girl Max "never had" that could have sat down next to him one night and this elicits a strong reaction from the streamers. Lando adds "you might have been made to sit next to her one night and she might have coughed on you". A charmer.

2) Allusions to calling a girl "cowboy" and "this might not be the only snake in my boot". Max thinks it's not a dig, just funny. Lando has referred to the same person as "cowboy" and "cowgirl" in yesterday's stream on Max's page as well (rather curious how I haven't seen yet the same conversations in Lando's streams, only in Max's less famous ones lol).

I will disclaim I don't have it in me to watch full vidya streams because I don't get what's fun in them, so if there are any further clips out there, yeah they're out there <3. Kush @sebastonstroll (who also ripped the last clip I talked about! Thanks for that) whistleblew and did the post that gained more traction, there are a few commentary posts out there as well (in particular this one from @babettevdw is very neat) and overall, not a good look. I have no personal hot take from this, men are pigs and I think that's it. I was waiting for the apology tweets but to be quite honest due to the sheer volume of "but if this was a woman talking about a man you wouldn't care" and "what about that time this driver said women can't drive" I highly doubt Lando will say something as his new strategy is to lay low - and I don't give a shit about if Max F apologises or not as he will probably never do something relevant in F1 anyway let's be honest. I rate this a 1/5 incel face structure pic due to the fact that if Lando's dad didn't have any money he wouldn't even be in F1 and have the chance to travel around the globe and meet hot chicks. Chaldish.

16/08/2021 - NEW ENTRY - MEXICANGATE

We had managed to spend almost 5 whole months without a Landogate everyone, so of course that when a new one happened, it would be A Doozy.

Let's set the mood: you're rich, you're finally in a good moment in your career, you are moderately ok looking, you have freeloading friends and a instagram/tik tok girl on a yacht and it's the summer. You're at the top of the world, basically, and you and your lads still find the time to be just... whatever this is

On Instagram even. With videos too. A bit extra, I'd say.

There was already a pretty perfect post by @maxricciardo on the subject of cultural appropriation and why this sort of display is not humorous, just prejudicial, so I won't elongate myself much on it. I will, however, pull my "As A Latina" card and say that I'm not surprised that's in its majority, a bunch of European Lads on Tour doing this since they tick all the boxes of privileged to think it's funny to do it.

Obviously, I don't want to talk on the name of Mexicans in particular and I don't even think that it's pleasant to go and Ask Your Local Mexican if this is ok or not, but I can draw parallels with my culture and say that when there are cultural parties here and foreigners come, even people who come from the Western Euro/North American are, they are more than welcome to take part in our culture WITH us and wear whatever you want WITH OUR CONSENT under a respectful environment and context. What these guys are doing, however, is basically take a stereotype derived of years and years of humiliating oppression perpetrated by biased accounts and media and laugh it off on their little bubble. It always hurts to me when I see accounts of Brazil being talked about as nothing besides drug trafficking and sexual tourism, I don't need to extrapolate too much to think about how it feels for my fellow Latinos.

And that's another important things I want to get in, I've seen a lot of people claim this was racist, and here's a lil fun fact: we can't tell. We don't know. Our concept of race is incredibly different from the one adopted by Europeans and North Americans, who lump us all into one ethnicity ("latino") and try to tell us we're POC even though, depending on the place you're at, you couldn't tell the difference between here and Germany. This is not cool by the way, because unlike the myth that says that Latin America is a big haven for the plurality of cultures (and it is, the sheer fact we have had different colonisers, influences from a lot of countries, the indigenous presence, unfortunately the influx of African cultures too because of slavery, people who ran away from wars in their countries, etc etc), we all suffered because of "Whitening", that is, the racist insistence of making sure that people had mixed children with white people to improve our bloodline. The result is that our race is very much something we identify socially with and a lot of people who read as POC outside of Latin America aren't considered POC here. That's not to say it wasn't wrong just because "it wasn't funny". It's xenophobic, it's prejudice, it's everything else and a bit more.

To make matters worse, I unfortunately have to talk about the reactions of the fanbase because during this write-up, I usually checked the reactions of the Landosphere and talked to Lando fans, but this time I didn't need to because a lot of them showed their asses on social media, for free. People claimed that Lando is persecuted, that it was just funny and that it made sense to wear those costumes on a Mexican-themed party, saying that if you can't do this you can't wear Lederhosen in German parties either, and that's the point innit? Germans, Dutch, French, whatever.... they WERE the colonisers. At the very least the colonies in Europe were far more comfortable and less ravaged than the Africans, the Latin Americans, and when you look around, you see the influence in Asia too and it's not a good look (again I can't speak for everyone so if any of you want to drop a comment on how you resent Imperialism etc. feel free to). You're not mocked, at the very least you get laughed a bit but you're not REDUCED to just this as part of your identity. Sorry for the lack of eloquence, it just hit a little too close to home.

So, honestly, I'm done here with the Landogates because I don't want to have to see whatever he did next - and I never needed to, I started these because they were amusing and it felt like the noise they made were not proportional to the actions of the driver, but nowadays it feels like he's having the opposite of character growth, enabled by the fans who believe he can't do any wrong or that he is just a kid. The discussion about problematic faves is a whoooole other topic, but at the very least if you're not ready to unstan, just shut up, take the L and let people rip him off for a day. Stay on your lane when you know there is no defense.

To those of you who were very nice while talking to me, thanks a lot! To those of you who stopped stanning him at some point, don't worry, there is always another driver. And to those of you who think I'm wrong etc, I suppose you're entitled to, but I also do suggest that you evaluate if it's worth it you know.

I rate this a 0/5 and I am tapping out.

#hyperfixation corner #lando norris #to be honest this isn't even banter i was really curious after seeing yet another landogate on the tag i just had to know what is up #my conclusions are these #i hope the other lando stans don't take this personally i tried to be fair while also being partial because well you know

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maxfieldparrishes · 2 years

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would it be harsh of me to ask for a bunch of,,like,,unposted ethanessa headcanons or something like that?? i miss the serotonin ur fics would give me ugh

not harsh of you at all! my executive functioning just sucks dong and i'm a horrible procrastinator when it comes to answering asks

so... unposted ethanessa headcanons... hmm... not really sure how much i've left unposted but!!! i will do this for you, and also for them because they are a Forever Ship

(jsyk these will be AU because i'm obsessed with the idea of them in the present day having a happy life and family together... also i'll be drawing on conversations i've had with @curioussubjects about the HML (happy modern life) AU) so here goes!!! under a cut because it got Long lol

ethanessa settles in either the pnw or maine, likely the pnw because there's some space for ethan during his time of the month but it's still relatively close to major cities (depends on your definition of close, tbf) (also i gotta represent my og turf! pnw represent!)

they have three kids - charles, claire, and celia. they are all thick as thieves which makes ethanessa sweat somewhat because of the potential of organized sibling chaos and shenanigans, but they adore their parents so they take it easy on them. mostly.

ethan is such a loving dad i can't even begin to describe him because i get too emotional!!! same with mom!vanessa... like they're not perfect people and they'd absolutely make mistakes as parents but their hearts are always in the right place!!! im crying omg

out of the three, claire and celia are both werewolves like ethan. this means that during every full moon there are 3 annoyed lycanthropes in the house and/or on the property--although now that ethan is older and more experienced with the shifting he's better able to control the urges, and he's made it a point to teach claire and celia how to better cope with the change while they're still young. claire will sometimes have supervised freedom while transformed; celia does not like transforming, does not trust herself, and will not leave the basement, even if calm/rational and if given the opportunity

charles is the most like van. magic shit. spooky ghosts. seances. freaky spellbooks. rituals that are Beyond Intricate. claire can deal with low-level shit, but anything above her pay grade (which is like... minimum wage) is sent to charles. charles is a nerd who loves lit theory and reads it for fun, philosophy and history, anthropology/sociology... academia in general; he wants to be a professor and publish incomprehensible papers when he grows up. also likes knitting to unwind, courtesy of ethan. would absolutely be bullied and stuffed into a locker if he wasn't so nice, cute, and friendly... closest out of the 3 kids to aunt cat, the sometimes-resident Cool Aunt

claire is the Social Butterfly of the three. she's the resident social (media) expert, keeps up-to-date on trends, tons of twitter/insta/snapchat/etc followers. absolutely has a hydroflask with stickers on it and an iced coffee obsession. chaotic middle child energy. super smart and cunning and protective of her family, absolutely the type to get into poli-sci for the activism, which she eventually does. loves cats even though they don't love her, animals in general, the environment, and being bisexual; does NOT love being a werewolf. she loves both her parents but would probably admit to being closer to ethan (is 100% a daddy's girl) probably the only member of the family who actually enjoys organized sports (was on the soccer team) once punched a guy who repeatedly sexually harassed her in the face, broke his nose, and was sent to the principal's office for it. ethanessa were proud <3

celia is the Artist in Residence of the clan. an absolute madwoman in the best way, she lives to create, is creating constantly, and is a fucking superstar bohemian who will one day go down in history and end up in museums. she works in a variety of mediums--painting (watercolors, oils, etc), ink drawings, sketches, clay--and always has something up her sleeve or on the backburner. gives off a vibe of being somewhat disconnected from reality, but she's very astute and observant. 100% the quietest and least social of the three kids, but also the kindest and most open-minded. can go through manic phases that result in an increased creative output but can also crash super hard, is on mood stabilizers and a diet high in omega-3s to help; the lycanthropy does not help AT ALL. 100% goes to school in paint-covered clothes, paints sets for the drama dept, has no social media at all but claire reps her sister's art on her own accounts and charles does too. has baby privilege; everyone loves her the most, including addy, the pet goat.

(they're all so supportive of each other i'm so!!!)

even though ethanessa are each other's primary partners, they are also both in a polyamorous relationship with catriona (and she with them) an anthropology professor, and the kids' Cool Aunt Cat

cat is literally a cat--she comes and goes as she pleases, she loves the kids like they're her own, she loves van to death and ethan only slightly less. far too self-directed and independent to ever be a dog, even if she is one of the most loyal and loving people ever

she's not always there bc she has her own apartment and her own life, but she spends a ton of time with the family when she can and wants to

the kids have all known her since they were born, grew up being somewhat co-parented by her, and idolize her completely, charles especially

brings yarn back from her travels so the fam (except for vanessa, who, bless her heart, SUCKS at knitting) can knit sweaters for addy (and sometimes scarves for van if the yarn is REALLY nice)

non-traditional family structures!!!

cat is the one who introduced charles to Theory and also tea. she gave him some hegel and zizek to read as a joke while he drank his genmaicha but he was absolutely enamored; told ethanessa later after he gave them all a lecture about lacan and the mirror stage at dinner: "i have created a monster. i am so sorry."

they don't have cats, but they do have dogs and a pygmy goat named adelaide, or addy for short

addy is the undisputed queen of the household and every single one of them would bend over backwards to make that goat happy

celia is addy's favorite person, because she's always on the floor doing Art, and doesn't mind it when addy climbs on her

addy has more instagram followers than charles and claire combined, because all 3 kids + ethan knit her sweaters and post pictures of her in them online. they have a schedule for it and everything, and the hype surrounding this tiny-ass goat is i n s a n e

ethanessa don't really use social media except to monitor the kids and keep in touch with fam because while they are not necessarily old they are also Old, if that makes sense

ethan goes deep into the forest during his transformations and usually it's uneventful... until the one time vanessa doesn't go with him, which becomes the one time he saves some lost hikers from a cougar and becomes a local legend as the town's Resident Cryptid

(this is a source of never-ending hilarity in the ives-chandler household. ethan is voted "hottest cryptid in the pnw" three years running and van gets it for him on a coffee mug. there is a close-up picture of his absolutely unimpressed face when he's presented with it on the polaroid wall and it is one of van's most treasured photos)

there's a well-intentioned running joke/bit in the town where they all playful accuse each other of being the HCITW (Hot Cryptid In The Woods). ethan almost got outed one day and left the grocery store sweating BUCKETS after one of the hikers he saved turned out to be the cashier in his checkout line, who said that he could have sworn he'd seen ethan somewhere before (ethan: "i just have one of those faces i guess???")

one girl in claire's class is absolutely CONVINCED it's ethan and she's absolutely right, but after claire takes her home one day to work on a project she's like "nah claire your dad couldn't possibly be a werewolf cryptid man he's way too chill and dorky" (claire: "don't tell anyone but that's the weed. at least the chill part is weed. he's just a dork naturally")

ethan is offended despite himself; van and charles have to leave the house to go walk in the woods because they're laughing so hard; celia is unbothered and only emerges from her room to change her paint water. claire thinks that she might one day marry this girl.

(they aren't married but they are still dating!)

none of this isn't to say they don't have bad days. sometimes charles hyperfocuses on things that aren't real--ghosts of people and the ghost in the book and drifts away from reality. sometimes claire is too angry for her own damn good and, when the full moon hits, becomes more of a wolf than either her father or her sister. the period of time before celia's mental health issues were nailed down and treated was hard on everyone. sometimes ethan and vanessa run out of patience with each other. sometimes they all have moods where they just don't want to talk. they're all in step with each other anyway, and sometimes you just don't want to fucking talk.

but all in all... it's a solid family. the state of being alive, in and of itself, is far too messy to ever be perfect, but their life now is better than either van or ethan could have dreamed (especially considering their own childhoods...) there's so much love in there that all of them don't know where or how they can store it all. there is so much love that no one is hungry and there is love left over for those who might need a little more. it's open hearts and warm arms and a hand to hold in the darkness. it's fucking awesome. it's the best.

#oh my god i made myself SO EMO but in a good way...#ethanessa #otp: i'm with you #ethan x vanessa #i miss them!!! if i ever meet john logan it's gonna be ON SIGHT #sorry about this it got very long and self-indulgent but i am so Fond of this particular little fantasy daydream #i hope you enjoy it anon!!!#penny dreadful

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calliecat93 · 3 years

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Star Trek Episodes 60-63

Spectre of the Gun: So our heroes pissed off an alien force...again, and are punished by being put into the Wild West and taking up the roles of the OK Corral shooting. You know what? At this point after the gangaters, Nazi’s, and Roman gladiators I’m not even gonna question anything anymore. I gotta wonder of they did this episode just to prank Kelley since apparently he’d been in reenactments of the OK Corral during his Western carrer haha. Anyways, it was fine. I’m not really into Westerns, but I’ve seen enough from what my dad used to warch to know what to expect. Acrually it felt more like a deconstruction since those normally put the Wild West in a bit of a glorious light which is VERY much not the case here. Chekov was a freakin’ trip in this episode and it acrually got me when he got shot even though having seen The Motion Picture I knew he came back to life. There’s nothing too notable about the episode, but nothing wrong with it either and it was fun to see the cast in a Wild West setting. Just a nice watch all in all. 3.5/5.

Day of the Dove: Well points are already deducted for the blatant use of brownface. IDK if thus was dome with the Klingons before, but the obvious use here is especially bad both makeup wise and for other obvious reasons. Moving past that, the concept is a decent one. We know of the frictions already between our heroes and the war-seeking Klingons, so sticking them all in one setting and letting the tensions implode due to a third party is a decent idea. Infact, the third party is essentially acting as an influence, altering everyone’s state of mind into further hatred amd madness just to keep fueling that fire, even between their own allies. That’s always a fun concept, although that influence causing Chekov to nealry do... what he did to Mara was... distasteful even if he wasn’t in his right mind. Seeing our heroes, who certainly have their darker urges but normally keep it in check, becoming more hateful even towards each other is... really uncomfortable. I guess this was meant to be an episode against being overwhelemed by hatred, and it did so fine enough. Though the brownface DOES kind of cut into the message. Otherwise, perfectly good episode. I can’t give it a 5 because of the brownface and some fo Shatner’s oveacting as well as feeling we disn’t get a proper wrapup at th end, but I can still give it a decent rating. 4/5.

For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky: McCoy centric episode! Yay! So... our doctor has conducted a terminal illness that has no cure. IDK what xenopolythemia is, but regular polythemia is a blood cancer. I’ve both lost family to cancer and seen the general paint hat it and treatment does to them, so... yeah. Of course McCoy’s symptoms are just his body beind weak, which kinda sucks since there was a lot of potential here for an emotional story (though tbf it’s likely early symptoms since he was just diagnosed), especially since it’s the caregiver being sick and needing to be cared for. But they decided to use it to have him get with an alien prieestess because he doesn’t have even a year left to live.. which tbf given what I’ve read on his backstory since the show never got into it, it DOES make sense for him and I guess it was his turn after Kirk and Spcok’s flings with women (McCoy’s only other time was back in the start of S1), but still. It wasn’t done basly, I fully understood why he’d make that choice since if he’s gonna die in a year, he should be able to have it with someone who’d care for him and Natira genuinely does and he still made sure that Kirk and Spock would be able to get out safely. Kelley did a lovely job with his performance this episode and it made McCoy’s decisions and thoughts very clear, and me having looked up his backstory probably helped me feel for him more than I would have otherwise. And because of the episodic nature, we got an easy way out. I guess I’m just disappointed at the waste of potential, but the episode is overall fine. Standard at this point, but perfectly fine. It did a good job making McCoy feel weakened and Kirk and Spock’s concern for him was really sweet. Spock holding onto McCoy’s arm after beind told was genuinely touching. It was a nice episode and I enjoyed it especially since it focused on my favorite character, I just felt it could have done more and the thing that helped the episode feel stornger was essemtially supplementary meterial (albiet canon material) and is just an okay episode if one doesn’t know it. 3.5/5.

The Tholian Web: Our heroes find a starship where all the people have killed each other via mental delusion... man that happens a lot, huh? Yeah it feels a little too similar to Day of the Dove, which was just two episodes ago especially with Chekov being the first to lose it. We also have them losing Kirk... again, though they make the wise decided to keep his fate in the dark and this time it truly looks like this is it for him (it’s not, but still) as Spock tries to retrieve him despite putting the ship more at risk. Pretty illogical, huh? Haha! This was good because we get to see how the crew reacts with him gone,a nd then when declared dead, without the audience alreayd knowing that he’s fine, which helps us feel for them as we’re as uncertain as they are. The highlight here is Spck and McCoy as with Kirk deemed dead, the one that keeps them together and the mental influence isn’t helping especially on McCoy’s end. Spock is trying to get Kirk back while McCoy wants to get out due to the crew having psychotic episodes due to remaining. The two come into conflict as per usual but without Kirk there, that sense of compromise is gone. Then the two see the message that Kirk recorded specifically for them in the event of his death, telling them to trust and help each other and their reactions after it especially hit hard. It shows how much Kirk knows and trusts the two and he knows that they can go on without him... which given that it’s canon that he’s the first to die for real among them (sorta... and depressing since Shatner is the only one of the trio still alive... wow I made myself sad), is even more heartwarming in hindsight. It was a really good episode and the ending got a good giggle out of me. But it was good to see what happens when Kirk is out of the equation, and how Spock and McCoy can go forward and work together with mutual respect. Excellent episode! 5/5.

I thought about doing five today... but I just wasn’t feeling it. But after a mediocre start, we got a pretty good round of episodes this time. Not as good as S2 (aside from the last one, that one was fantastic), but perfectly fine. Will that continue? Fifteen more to go folks, we’ll find out soon enough.

#st watchthrough #star trek tos

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sireneia · 4 years

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@astraseason sent: 🎰 hit me /eye emojis. // rng ships / interactions.

1. Soleil & Stahl

Well, obviously no ship for a multitude of reasons, but I think Stahl would be down to hang out with her! It’ll be quite the surprise to know Olivia’s a grandmother at this point, but little details like how Soleil’s hairband is Olivia’s definitely wouldn’t go unnoticed, and she could probably weasel some stories out of him about the Shepherds in case she were interested. I think the fact they both have sun-themed names (?? i vaguely remember stahl and sully have a sun/moon theme anyhow) is also cute thematically! I think Stahl would think, while she’s quirky, she has a definite place in the army and can understand the desire to smile always, but would want to try and encourage her to feel comfortable being less peppy when things get tough. Maybe being two generations above her could open that gateway — or, at least, he can hope!

idk how you feel about stahl/olivia, but i’d absolutely enjoy the angle of grandpa stahl haha.

2. Claude & Hayato

Forgive me I’ve kinda put Three Houses low on my priority list of things I want to be doing rn, and when I last left off, I hadn’t finished any of Claude’s supports due to the timeskip barring me from advancing in the chains. If Heroes is anything to go off of though, I think there’s the potential for these two to be apothecary buddies in a way! Someone who can make poisons isn’t too far from someone who can make remedies, and Hayato is eager to know more materials from foreign lands, gaining that interest in places outside the Wind Tribe from Fuga’s counsel.

He’s probably easy for Claude to goad too, whether it be Hayato’s competitive streak like with making poultices or even having that same fixation on hiding any of his perceived immaturities due to the weight of his duties to his tribe on his shoulders. In that way, Hayato could probably remind Claude a lot of Lysithea in that regard, even down to both being magic casters who hide their love for sweets.

3. Guinivere & Dew

Guinivere definitely would remind Dew a lot of Edain, a good friend of his, with the similar wavy blonde hair, how they’re both championed as the most beautiful woman in their respective continents, their compassion but heavy deliberation for the sake of others, they both being very goal-oriented and willing to do great things for the family they love, etc. I can honestly see Dew accidentally mistaking Guinivere for her as a result which could be an alright way to start an interaction!

Unfortunately, I’m not sure how Guinivere would react to that, but if Dew hangs around Guinivere enough and learns more of her nature or her troubles or wishes, he’s likely to gift her a weapon as his own way of trying to help her through her trials and tribulations.

4. Roy & Lene

Haha a dancer with a name that starts with L but not quite... Sorry Larum akhsgghrkrg

In any case, based on Lene’s canonical Types(tm), I don’t think she’d be interested in Roy romantically but who knows! Regardless, I view them both as level-headed people and can imagine them getting along well, maybe even having friendly chats sparking off tactical talks first from their involvement in the Order of Heroes but then spiraling to more general topics! I can see her being the type of person to try and help give advice in social avenues for him, whether it be things like what to do with Wolt’s putting up a wall between Roy and him or... how to handle Larum’s everything LMAO

Since iirc you go for Roy’s default mom being Ninian, Lene could also potentially help him learn more dancing in case he wanted to display that skillset to his mom but Lene would probably say while it’s sweet to learn a skill for someone, it’s probably a better bonding activity to do it with his mom himself.

5. Kotone & Hayato

Hayato is really awkward with hanging out with children )): being unintentionally not that indulgent with them and. well, his whole not wanting to be seen as a child himself so he’d probably avoid associating too much, but I think there’s an interesting angle (platonic ofc) with how Hayato is one of the earlier allies Araceli would get in Revelation but also consistently through all timelines is pretty amiable with her (thank u Conquest,) so maybe if him and Araceli were on good terms through all those times, it could make sense if he was trusted to babysit Kotone for a lil while??

I’m also down for the father Hayato hours as I personally really like the Hayato/Corrin supports bUT i also get that tbf Araceli isn’t Corrin 1-1, so that’d be dependent upon interactions too.

#// rng really was like 'stan fe14' akshkrhgr #// also like none of these are actual ship recs but i thought they were nice interactions to think up!#astraseason #+. / ooc.#+. / inbox.#long post ---

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redandfranticfeelings · 6 years

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'tag things making fun of doug' because your personal enjoyment of an abuser's content should supersede the feelings of the people he abused by making them act out rape jokes? the fact that making fun of an abuser upsets you because you like him warrants some serious self-examination on your part. 'you can't make fun of an abuser around me bc i like his content and you can't criticize me bc mental illness' is some wendycorduroy shit. i'm surprised you'd do this given how critical you are of her.

and yes, people are allowed to not like you for still liking the show. ofc people can have problematic interests if they want, but content that has been directly used by its creators to abuse people is a special kind of bad. you’re allowed to like it, but guilt tripping people or implying they’re not allowed to dislike the fact that you still support it is incredibly callous to the people rob, doug, and mike abused. this is not, nor should it be, about your feelings. this is about the victims.

you know what. upon further consideration, those asks were not kindly phrased. my intention was to emphasize that because the anniversary movies were vessels for abuse (injuries, rape jokes, etc) it was inappropriate to prioritize one’s own feelings over the feelings of the victims or block out criticism, but i phrased them in a way that was not productive and was attacking you. i’m sorry for my wording and for being a dick

thank you for your follow up apology. i see where youre coming with this but i think there’s a few things that i can point towards me not giving up on the show altogether.

short answer: while i detest the way the company has been run and is executing public relations, and i am uncomfortable watching any video on their channel and have not done such for weeks, and i really want the harmed ex-producers to receive justice, i still believe there is a shred of hope for the show based on what recent producers have said, and that doug can reform himself by owning up to his deliberate ignorance, neglect, and egotism, though he is not the biggest abuser in this situation. i have a lot of emotional history with NC that means i need time before i’m able to drop the show altogether, if i ever can, and i just want to avoid anything that isn’t constructive and just intended to make anybody feel bad for liking the show/movies before this information was widely known.

long answer:

most of the criticism lauded against doug isnt so much being the direct abuser but being complacent and ignorant of people’s health. if i recall correctly, while it was a pretty unnecessary and terrible joke to make in my opinion, he didn’t pick up that the drill scene in TBF made anybody uncomfortable at the time? and in recent years he seems more concerned about what his cast undergoes, and a lot of them have said that he does ask about jokes that might hurt them and make sure they’re comfortable. i believe he apologized for it and acknowledged his naievity in the movie’s commentary but restating that apology would be beneficial now, yeah.

while complacency and ignorance is bad, i think he has been neglectful, not directly abusive. also, idk if you meant this, but your phrasing makes it kinda sound like his projects were intended as a means to abuse people; the abuse happened because of the movies, yeah, but it was because of doug being egotistical and ignorant, not malicious. the content of the movies reflect’s doug’s massive ego but it doesn’t reflect a desire to abuse anybody. if he did the shit that mike michaud or mike ellis did, that would be inexcusable for me and i would have lost hope for him.

if anybody is definitely abusive, it’s the CEO, who i love watching get bashed because he is indeed a sexist verbally abusive asshole who holds the power in the company and is using it for his stupid selfish needs. it’s also been stated that doug is restricted by his contract with the CEO and could just straight up not be able to make videos if he stepped out of turn, so while i wish he would use his walkout power more, he doesn’t have as much power as some people attribute to him. he’s complicit in abuse but i don’t think that’s the same as being abusive? the producers themselves seem to go back and forth about how they feel about him but a recurring theme is that he’s tragically ignorant of abuse, but not on the same level of abusive as michaud, if they call him abusive at all (most just seem to feel betrayed by him).

additionally, almost all creators who have worked with him in the past couple of years, have stated they had generally positive experiences with the network, even the ones who are now leaving. the only thing that seems to remain an issue is the awful, awful PR (that apology sucked, i criticized it myself) and the lack of communication towards anybody not chicago-based. i feel they need to ditch michaud (which probably won’t be easy, since he’s a shady capitalist fuck), formally apologize and maybe provide compensation for past producers who were abused by the higher-ups, and either improve relations or just restrict everything to NC, because at this point that’s the only show that’s going to be left if they don’t get their shit together anyway. but i do think that if they just take the easy solution of apologizing, even though it’s already way too late and they royally fucked themselves over, things can be a little better.

i’m also not against criticizing doug for not speaking out, because the least he could do is apologize at least privately and i’ve even emailed him imploring him to do at least that (i don’t expect a response though lmao). i just get hurt at people attacking the show and movies as being terrible and something no fan should like. a lot of people really attached to the series before this blew up, and for the most part the content of the show doesn’t reflect the behind-the-scenes issues.

i’m spreading relevant information on twitter regarding abuse and producers’ feelings, but so many people (obviously not the producers, but the fans/haters) involved in this are more concerned with just shitting on doug bc they don’t like him and a lot are trying to make him out as worse than he is. i want to spread what the producers say because i trust them, but i’m wary of fans who seem to just be in it for the drama or bc they never liked NC and they wanna spite people who did (yes, those people exist, they mocked me on kiwifarms).

i know this isn’t about me, but i’ve invested a lot of money and time and emotional energy in the show, it’s introduced me to new friends, and it’s been directly and indirectly responsible for some of my highest and lowest points of the past year and a half. my comfort ship has been very helpful in helping my loneliness. it gave me something to look forward to every day. not to pull the autism card, but it’s difficult for me to drop a special interest very easily and i’m jealous of people who can. i need time to grow entirely out of it if i can.

but even still, i haven’t watched a NC episode in weeks, even the new ones, due to my discomfort and shame towards the show and network (only NC thing i watched lately was the hyper q&a, which is on tamara’s channel, and i used it to fall asleep). i unsubscribed, and i really i only care about a few aspects of the show anyway.

if you want to hate me because i can’t immediately remove NC from my heart then fine, but if so, just unfollow me. i don’t want people to not post NC criticism, and i fully endorse spreading relevant information because i care about the victims and i want them to receive justice. i just want hate tagged so i, personally, do not have to be constantly reminded that a show that is/was close to my heart has so many awful things behind it, even if i’m not sure if i still love it anymore. and while i have been a bit guilt-trippy in the past i’ve been confronted on that already and i’m trying not to come across that way, and i’m sorry for having been manipulative at all. i’m paranoid about being abandoned and hated just for having watched this show but unless you’re like, a super close friend of mine, you can unfollow any time you want.

#answers #this is WAY TOO LONG i spent too much time on this #but i needed to address this #i rly rly rly hope i didnt misspeak on this hhhh #Anonymous #nostalgia critic #im not against criticism bc ive said shit on my own #im not even against ppl making fun of it i just dont wanna see it #channel awesome

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