Incoming Matchup for @virtue-and-beneviolence​

Tokyo Revengers

Izana Kurokawa

read the tags 💜

REBLOG ARE APPRECIATED!

hii:9 youre probably SO tired of people asking you to go deeper on RIIZEs ideal type, but i would be cured of all ailments forever if you did a post about anton like you did for eunseok, sungchan, and wonbin... thank YOU 💜

he's pretty open minded..his venus is in taurus and like I said in my wonbin ideal type deep dive though venus in taurus likes more traditional/cultural beauty standards its still very general since anyone can fall into a countries beauty standard and we have to remember cultural nuance, Anton grew up in the u.s so his standards might/probably differ somewhat than the other members

and his mars is in gemini..he enjoys variety or at least versatility and likes someone to be mentally stimulating and have interesting thoughts rather than just a pretty face.."beauty AND brains" basically..also someone he can easily be friends or feel an internal connection with

He likes generally pretty people.. somewhat conventional regular "guy standards" if you get what I mean,, pretty face, on the more natural "no makeup" makeup or soft makeup looks. someone that takes care of themselves and manages their physical body so skincare, hair care, basically super good hygiene and self maintenance..also bc of his taurus venus he likes someone that (tw: mention of eating habits) has good eating habits, so isn't too restrictive but isn't excessive either can balance eating healthy and enjoying themselves with their meals.

also might be into someone active, but nothing too crazy so something more low tempo so aerobics, cardio, or pilates

due to his gemini mars he may like someone with a longer torso or neck, nice angles to their body so nice neckline, collarbones and shoulders, pretty hands (gets their nails done/manages them or wears hand accessories) he might like "dark brown" hair in comparison to black hair or lighter eyes/brown eye

but in the end he's slightly more concerned with a person's internal contents and in addition he wants someone with depth, mental depth that can hold intellectual or at least opinionated informative convos and such

@nancydrew-onthecase, this is my argument post 4 you because I have waaaayyy too much to cram into a bunch of asks lol! I also took this way too seriously, so sorry for how Extra this is 😂😶

My previous posts have already summed up some of my favorite things about Joe/Nancy as a pairing, so I’d like to take this opportunity to also compare it to the opposing Nancy ships - please, please don’t view this as me bashing Nedcy and Francy to “prop up my ship” or whatever, I think they’re both totally valid ships in their own ways and I can understand their appeal. But in the 10+ years I’ve spent shipping Jancy (omg), I’ve spent a LOT of time analyzing the other two relationships to identify the things that do and don’t work in my personal opinion, and I felt that going over the latter is helpful in highlighting some of the reasons I love Joe x Nancy as much as I do. I’d like to present this as an open, honest discussion, so hopefully I can share my views & opinions without coming off as rude, haha. I’ve taken steps to make sure I’m remaining as self-aware as possible while still stating my thoughts exactly as they are.

Also know that I’m basing this mainly on the games and similar interpretations of these characters, not so much on the OG book series.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO… (under the cut bc of length lolol)

- Ned/Nancy, for me, is very sweet because of Ned’s dedication to being there for Nancy no matter what, but it also has that persistent dark cloud of Nancy going off all the time without telling him (which, although I love her to death and I understand why, is pretty crappy on her part). Ned is a precious boy who is “okay with it” and thinks it’s “worth it” to be with someone like Nancy, but… God. He’s SO SOFT and, as someone else who is Very Soft, I would be heartbroken if my s/o was never around, cancelling our plans at the last minute, etc. And we do actually hear this loneliness from Ned many times. He almost always comes around with these supportive, encouraging speeches which is one of the biggest points in Nedcy’s favor, but on a larger scale there’s sooo much he could be getting out of his relationship that he’s just… not. He’s a simple hometown boy who just wants to give all his love to the lucky girl and live a nice life with her - he doesn’t have the same thirst for adventure that Nancy has. He’s totally a romantic who doesn’t.. really.. get to be that way with her? Not often, at least. A good guy like Ned deserves someone he can truly be with, rather than wondering if or when she’s ever going to be home - even for the important stuff (like birthdays and anniversary dinners). I mean if homeboy is really content to put up with her being gone all the time then good for him. I still just feel like, if he did some serious soul searching and prioritized what he truly wants in life, he could be happier. 😭

- Frank/Nancy doesn’t struggle with the lifestyle differences of Nedcy, which is a point in their favor, but I’ve always personally seen Francy as being a bit stagnant due to their similarities & differences. They’re both logical, studious, hard-headed individuals - yet Nancy has this inherent inclination to break the rules, which is a quality Frank doesn’t generally possess (unless it’s absolutely necessary). Nancy is stubborn about the daring methods she often uses to solve cases, and Frank is stubborn about wanting to go by the book first & pursue everything with caution. This leads to an ongoing dialogue that VERY closely mirrors the dynamic that already exists between Frank & Joe, so for me it’s a little less interesting of a pairing (just my opinion, of course). It’s true that Nancy & Frank’s matched intellect is pretty much unrivaled, but I don’t think they have much to offer each other in the way of everyday development and growth. Their mindsets are already so similar, there isn’t much new for them to learn or gain from being together. Lots of intellectual stimulation, certainly (which would be GREAT for them), but otherwise they mostly just reinforce the qualities in each other that they share. Obviously Frank & Joe make a great team and so do Frank & Nancy, there’s NO disputing that, but a romantic relationship takes so much more than just working well together. That’s a big part of it, for sure, but there’s so much more. Take a look at my next paragraph and compare these two dynamics to see what I mean.

- Joe/Nancy is the middle ground between the two. They share similar life goals, so there’s no off-and-on issue of “when are you coming home?😢”, yet mentally they’re very different. They’re both extremely smart, but in completely different ways. They can challenge each other in everyday life, which helps them stay on their toes and become better people. Nancy is the head, Joe is the heart; they can effortlessly achieve that emotional balance with no major obstacles standing in their way. Plus, the qualities they DO have in common are stimulating and beneficial to their relationship; both Nancy & Joe have more of an unbridled, adventurous spirit than Frank does (though perhaps this is more noticeable in Joe). They’re both eager to take risks and do what others are afraid to do. Yet Nancy is logical/grounded enough to keep Joe in check, and Joe is able to feed that inner desire of hers to be bold & fearless - not only that, he can usually be seen in the background emphatically cheering her on because that’s a quality he has IMMENSE respect for. He doesn’t love her in spite of this dangerous habit, it’s part of why he has soooo much admiration for her in the first place. Joe makes no secret of the fact that he absolutely loves this about her, even in canon. He has no doubt that she can handle herself, so Nancy has the freedom to make her own choices without the initial resistance she usually receives from Ned or Frank. Of course Joe cares, and he does remind her to be careful, but he does so in a way that doesn’t feel like he’s wrestling with this lowkey desire to hold her back. Despite how much Joe wants her to stay safe, he doesn’t feel the need to worry himself sick over her because he trusts her entirely, and besides, “that’s who she is. That’s what makes her so freakin’ AWESOME” (- Joe Hardy, probably). Please see this link for the rest of my thoughts on this. And, as I also stated in the linked post, something that’s often overlooked is that Nancy & Joe both actually have the dorkiest sense of humor so they can easily make each other grin over stupid jokes and puns and I am so very here for that. Not to mention Jancy’s shared enthusiasm for mysteries; Frank enjoys it for the intellectual rush, but Joe enjoys it for the adrenaline rush. Nancy is both. I love those phone convos where Nancy tells them she’s still on the case and Frank is like “aw man, I know you can do it Nancy, just keep at it” and Joe’s like “HECK YEAH YOU HAVE MORE MYSTERY TO SOLVE! GO GET EM, NANCE!!!” bc Nancy honestly loooves working a case. I just find it so wholesome.

And… perhaps this is another personal opinion, but stop for a second and think about the subversive nature of a well-written Joe x Nancy narrative. Got it? Yeeeah, I’m all about that. 😉

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. I love Joe Hardy and Nancy Drew with my whole heart

lmao oh man. ok ive been talking to a guy who from the start knew i wasnt interested in any romantic stuff - i told him up front, he told me he wasnt either. cool cool. so we met for a coffee and yeah im not attracted to him, but he is intellectually stimulating u know. like where you can have many hours of conversation because hes really communicative and blunt and honest and has a very different view on life than me etc. which i like about him. i learn so much from direct opposites. we become friends. well, flirty friends, but honestly he is the only one doing the flirting during this entire time. ive been very specific not to as to not send any mixed signals, and have had to dodge some straight-forward sexual stuff a few times. not at all because i dont want to talk sex, we have absolutely talked sex, but not with each other, and i just really dont want him to think im attracted.

however he turned out to be a pretty... petty and unchill person. at times, anyway. as i said i like talking to him and do so quite often, or did so anyway, up until recently. a while ago he started to get very contrarian, like, edgy? rude, but at first in a playful way. i dont have a problem with rude when its in a playful/comunicative way, im amused by that and i indulge in dishing it back playfully from time to time. but it was very obvious he was doing it because i mentioned i was into "rude" guys, maybe once, when we were talking about my former love interests. and by rude i definitely dont mean as in someone whos all high and mighty, self-entitled, or stuff like personal attacks, im talking about a kind of humor, or in a charming, charismatic and mischievous way. and maybe that is my fault for not specifying what that actually meant, idk. its still kind of strange completely rearranging your personality based on something i said once, you know? it all felt very contrived to me.

but anyway, he also started to get pissed off that i would see my friends but couldnt see him (he lives in a different city...) and about how i could afford to go drink beer with my friends and not drink tea at his place (he also doesnt drink and, again, lives in a different city) and im like... ok first, im not even that into you in comparison, i will always pick my friends over others, i prioritize my money (i am by NO MEANS wealthy omfg) the way i want and on what is proportional to what i get out of the experience. im not going to put out a lot of money on a train ticket to sit at home with you, a guy ive met in public ONCE, when i have all of my biggest friend groups in this city, here, where i live, and we enjoy drinking beer, watching soccer, going to the beach, hanging out in parks, having game nights and hosting and going to parties etc etc. heck yes im going to spend my last money on being with them. and i have told him this, and also that if i had more of a disposable income right now i would obviously be freer to do whatever. ive never been against going to his place to hang out and not having it involve any alcohol, thats all cool, but right now i just cant afford it, and i would prefer to hang out in public some more. but hes not into my scene, so what am i gonna do. and i dont think its strange to think like, i know my last bucks will get me two beers at the cheapest bar, but two beers are still not the price of a (one-way) train ticket. but he just... gets mad about it. in a very childish way. and i keep a very open an honest discussion with him, and most of the time he gets it. hes not dumb or socially awkward, i know hes not, but hes kind of... hard to deal with, i guess is the right word, when there is a personal relationship. in a not so charming way. where he can come off as uncertain, distristful(!) and a bit egocentrical. a classic "ive been hurt by hierarchy for most of my life so now im always on high alert and im going to be as obtuse and snarky as possible so i can feel like i have some sort of control and i WILL take up space and society WILL give me what i feel ive been cheated of my entire life also emotionally im a scared child and really really need validation but im never ever going to admit that". most of the time hes not, but when he started "demanding" to know why i couldnt hang out, or what my expenses were(!!) i immediately got turned off. having to motivate or explain your life and choices to a person youve met once and that you, sure, appreciate, but that you dont really know? no thanks. people not trusting me or my reasons makes me angry, because i put so much value in honesty, so i got angry at him (which is VERY not my character). and he kind of took a step back.

we havent spoken as intensely since then, maybe two weeks ago, and i honestly dont mind except for i like to write and communicate with a lot of people about a lot of stuff to keep myself occupied and he is now one less person to do that with i guess. but now he casually struck up a convo on my snapchat on a post "where i looked hot". i was like heh thanks! and he went on saying "i need to remind myself of how good-looking you are sometimes... kind of stupid actually"

so im like... uhuh... why would you need to remind yourself of that? already finding it a bit cringey

and he says "because i forget about you? xD"

aaaand im rolling my eyes trying not to gag. he is obviously looking for a reaction and im like wtf are we 15

then he fucking says, all philosophical like: "sometimes we need to be reminded why we start talking to/hitting on someone in the first place" and i was just like...... ok stop... what a fucking backhanded compliment. that actually was you telling me that i havent been paying attention to you that much and you want my attention.

god.

again, so turned off by this kind of personality. and i dont mean that only sexually, i mean... i dont think we can be friends, man. youre acting kinda gross. "we" as in, people of the earth, dont need to be reminded of that. that is not a universal truth. this is cringyness, a wounded ego on a high horse.

idk maybe he was trying to be nice or trying to say hes sorry because he was out of line earlier, but i genuinely dont think he thinks so himself, but... ugh. i am not into this. i am not into him. i have been doing my best not to string him along by the way, by being veeeery open about the fact that i sleep with different people, and not just guys, and that i like being single right now and that i have many issues to take care of and heal, so i hope he doesnt feel like ive been doing that to him for some reason.

im just very over this guy. i basically answered him that it sounded more like a backhanded compliment than anything else and that i know ive been bad at ~paying attention~ to him in that way lately, and that im aware of that because im just not interested in paying that kind of attention to anyone at all right now. lets see what his response is. i bet on either a douche guy "lmao ok i was just giving you a compliment chill" or a niceguy/neckbeard "wow youre not better than me". or perhaps hell be an adult about it. i feel like i do have some faith in him still.

but jesus christ the cringe

update: this was a while ago and i dont remember what he answered but it surprisingly wasnt any of the above. we stopped talking for a few months tho and now im in love with a gorgeous person that i recently became exclusive with. this guy is still someone i talk to now and then on snapchat. he semi-regularly drops compliments on my selfies and i guess thats just fine, but his snaps are very very bitter and sometimes i can tell he wants to get my attention. 🤷‍♂️

I don’t even know what to do with him. What to communicate. It’s basically dead. There’s no stimulation.

I will say this: I feel bliss and sunshine and rest here in SD in this bungalow. I actually kinda already feel like I’m here pretty much by myself. I’ve been stimulating and finding companionship with myself. Going on runs with Paco, laying out, going to the store, watching sunset with Paco. I even bought us June shine, chips and salsa, and we watched the sunset together. I don’t needddd a mans! Like at all.

I am finally getting there; where I like being on my own. Where I am enjoying my own company better. I’m not pining for him anymore.

Like I was getting into my usual habit tonight of trying to scan conversation topics to bring up with him, and realize, I just don’t have the will to spend energy on it anymore. He’s boring and not intellectually stimulating. There’s nothing there bringing much value to my conversation exercise and passion. I could very much do without. How long did I tolerate or put up being so interesting and getting nothing from him? Goodness.

But this bungalow is nice. And I’m just trying to be a nice and not mean person. I kinda blew up tonight, “you’re like not interested in me as a person” (lol so dramatic) “it’s like you’re not here. You don’t ask me questions, you don’t converse. I guess it’s my bad because I am naturally inquisitive and I shouldn’t take it so personally when others aren’t. But anything, you don’t ask me anything. When I bring up topics, you just change the conversation.”

“I guess it depends on the topic”

Why because that should matter? Lmao.

“You’re just not *there*”

“I’m sick”

Ugh the more I write about this the more I’m like why am I even spending time writing about this.

How do I feel? I’m just blah. I’m bored. He doesn’t bring anything new or interesting.. he just kinda is. I’m growing. I can be so interested in him and ask generous questions, just because I genuinely want to keep getting to know a persons soul. He’s just reciprocating that. It’s not even about him anymore. It’s me realizing that’s what I need from someone invest in and if someone isn’t interested in tending to or learning about my soul too, what is zee point?

Meh I ain’t mad. Just interesting realizations that get note affirmed.

Today got to meet up with Sharon. Thank god for a friend, a break. Something .. else.

I can’t be anything but grateful though for being somewhere lovely such as this. I guess I’m just trying to find the balance of what the posture is, like “well you’re in a place that is objectively all around good, worthy of gratitude.” This is true. “But does that mean I actions it begs are acting enthusiastic, so awesome and wonderful to him? That because he set this up and I’m here, I must give that energy?” No I don’t think so. I’m happy being blah and floating and not saying anything if he’s gonna be like that. If he wants to step it up and say something, I’ll re-enter the convo. I’m not even saying this in a petty way. I’m just truly becoming so disinterested. He is such a boring person sigh.

But I’d like to stay in SD and enjoy the colors of this experience with a person that knows me, we are comfortable with each other, enjoy this. So whats the posture I have? What’s the most loving way to be here without feeling like I’m spending energy and love out of obligation? It’s weird, because I guess the question I’m asking is, am I obligated to love here? And what level of that then, because I know the answer is yes. I guess just be.. not mean, be kept, dont over spend your energy and emotions. Just be in essence a loving person.