#is a fucking release valve for all the shit you don't have to put up with
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continuing to block whoever I fucking want has really worked out for me
#empower yourselves to block people who irritate you#this is an online playpen you use for enjoyment#echo chambers are bad but blocking that jerk who compared people who hate ai art to a whining toddler trying veggies for the first time#is a fucking release valve for all the shit you don't have to put up with#the block button is your friend
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I feel like TF2 had a really bad time in development hell for a while and the devs are just sick of it at this point. Stuff not working out, not making it to release, and simply put, not wanting to maintain any new ideas.
They had a medieval 2Fort and for the life of me, the only conclusion I can come to is they didn't want to maintain 2 separate experiences for the same game. MvM being a departure they...basically stopped work on eventually too. Hilariously, it being a horde-type game probably being what kept it going, much like with L4D from Counter-Strike.
Feels like alot of stuff at Valve just didn't work for a decade. and I think it's because nobody was forced to finish their work. And unfortunately that's just a simple aspect of creation that not everyone can handle, no restrictions. I imagine this also lead to people who did a lot of work, not getting full credit, or having their ideas superseded by essentially leaches who contributed nothing before, but have Their idea on how it should be.
That also would explain how the FUCK they canceled L4D3. What the fuck company doesn't get that shit finished one way or another? I can appreciate the freedom that Valve allows, but I think THAT should've been the moment an adult spoke up and said "This shit hasn't been working for literal decades."
I heard they stopped having as much freedom, and while on paper it was great, you HAVE to have restrictions in creation. Otherwise nothing gets done, nothing progresses, and nothing really even gets started past the initial planning process. The thing is, all we've seen is the broad end of both spectrums. One that doesn't work enough to get stuff out the door, and one that doesn't work either, but garbage at least gets out the door every week.
I'd like to see Valve just move a bit on that spectrum, not the opposite end in any way, just force people to Finish The Work they started. Like Left 4 Dead 3 for example. I can't imagine most people in the division that grew were happy that some idiots fucked all their work up entirely. I also, would have fired the idiots who wanted to move L4D3 to fuckin' Unreal or whatever. God damn morons don't know what company they're working at. Want to know the answer? You keep it on Source 2 because I wouldn't fucking buy it if it was on another fucking engine. No confidence in your own engine also paints a VERY poor image of literally EVERYTHING about the company, their engine, their work culture, god what an embarrassment.
Seriously though, I think people should probably chill on the "savetf2" stuff. I don't think that's gonna inspire anyone there to work on it anymore. Just kinda...annoy them that they can't say "Guys this was HELL to work on and almost nothing got out the door but cosmetics, failure after failure to get anything else out the door. We're tired, it's nearly been 2 decades. We aren't planning on shutting down servers or anything. Just keep playing if ya want to."
I'd much prefer a TF3 because I'm curious how they'll handle it. But I severely doubt we'll ever see another Valve big name title again. Which sucks shit, but what can ya do. The credit we can give, is outside of taking down TF2 clones they really don't need to take down, is that they at least allow people to do whatever the hell they want with their IPs. Do you think Valve was ever gonna make HL2VR? Honestly. Doubtful. The only reason Half-Life got an update is because of the SteamDeck, otherwise, that update would never have happened. They aren't interested in going back to Source anytime soon, they're jumping to Source 2.
Now there is a possibility they come back to other titles to give it the SteamDeck treatment, but I have high doubts of that either. HL was a blatantly obvious choice and Valve not having it work well for their own hardware is actually unconscionable. L4D is the embodiment of that meme with the skeleton under water, Portal doesn't really need much.
So I put forth a question I've pondered: Why is there even a Valve? It's not called ValveVR, nor ValveDeck, it wasn't a Valve Machine, or Valve controller, and Valve hasn't released a (good/playable) game since the 360 era. An update/total revision for Counter Strike is simply expected when it's their only real game success in years. So, otherwise, why is there even a Valve? Seems like they'd just morph into Steam by now. I also think it'd quell the fires of people wanting more games and updates.
I'd rather them NOT quit making games outright, but...like man, I've been playing L4D since I was at least 12yo, Half-Life since I was 3-4. I've been waiting. They've had the time to tell us what they're doing and thinking, them not telling us, feels like it's because they themselves don't even know or it's a total shit show. But when they do actually know what they're doing, they come out with confidence. Hardware and Steam has been their only confidence in decades. I'd rather have an answer to whether or not these IPs are genuinely dead, than have that carrot hanging in front of me anymore. Sure, I can ignore the carrot, but it's still there.
I think nearly 20 years is enough time for Valve to comment on...just...anything people have questions for anymore. I'm kinda sick of guessing what is even going on over there. This isn't a hate-post or anything, just a grouchy old man yelling at the sky sorta thing you've seen a million times before, just probably on the opposite spectrum of the main discussions. I don't want an update for TF2, I want an update on Valve. Not Steam, not their hardware, not specifically their IPs, Valve themselves, what the hell is going on over there.
#Valve#Steam#Half-Life#Portal#Left 4 Dead#IP#savetf2#team fortress 2#tf2#l4d2#l4d#HL2VR#Half Life#Half Life 2#Half-Life 2#I have more to say but the main point is of all the things Valve has left us totally in the dark about#it's been Valve#we're pretty sure about everything else in comparison
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12/3/22
I don't want to write this. I'm just... I'm really overwhelmed right now. Every creak and bump in the apartment building I jump and my heart races. I don't feel safe. I don't know how else to put it. This is, from my understanding, a PTSD response. Like in a movie where a military vet jumps and freaks out when they hear fireworks or something. This is because I was abused a few hours ago. I don't want to talk about it, but I understand why it's happening now, which is... well it doesn't fix it, but it helps me at least understand that this isn't something wrong with me. This isn't a malfunction in my brain, this isn't chemical misfires, this isn't me being broken and needing to fix something. This is me actually not being safe, having been in an unsafe environment and suffered harm, and my body really not knowing where the next strike is going to come from in my weakened state.
It's because it's psychological and emotional pain. The best I can figure. Physical pain is much easier to identify these responses to, I speak from experience. If you've been following this for a while, you probably know my shin story. If not, let me really nutshell the fuck out of it. TLDR: Blood clot in my shin, ER tried to amputate, I got a second opinion and saved the leg. That has a lot of layers to it, you know... but the physical side. I get really cautious about shin injuries now, I'm very hyper-aware of those. I fuuuuckin woooonder whyyyy. Makes sense, right? Because I know how bad those can get, how dangerous they can be, and it was some of the worst pain I've been in in my life. Hands down. Hard to forget that, the body and mind do not want to go through that again.
Now, imagine that shin pain was... emotional pain. Or a reaction to loud noises. Where it like... makes you re-live those traumatic moments, even hypothetically, even... reflexively? Subconsciously? I'm struggling to find good words, like... without your conscious awareness. Like... last night I heard the same bumps and creaks coming from the floor above and I had zero reflexive jumps. I just noticed the sound, went "oh, its the upstairs neighbors" and went back to sleep. But now, since I'm freshly wounded, one pop of a wooden beam and it's like those old doctor's rubber mallets to the nerve in your knee and my whole fucking body jumps and a tiny gnome in my chest cavity throws the "Adrenaline Emergency Release" valve. That's where I've been the past...3 hours? After the crying, frustration and outrage ran its course.
I hate this. And honestly, all I want is someone to just curl up on a mattress with me and hold me and watch some videos or something and just go, "it's okay, it's over now, you're safe." That's all, that is literally heaven to me. But, to be completely blunt, at times like this... I feel like bringing my life into the life of another - aka dating - is like... dropping a giant flaming bag of shit onto their doorstep. It's the answer to pretty much every problem I have, but my... mercy? I don't know, something like that holds me back.
Before I rabbithole on that, I just want to - for the sake of my own therapeutic work that I'm doing right now - label that for what it is. That is me being insecure. I'm gonna go over to my Needs meters again, fuck it. Thank you, video games, for putting psychology into an easily understandable interactive visual medium.
Food - Ate as much buffalo mac and cheese as my tight as a knot stomach could handle (8/10)
Water - Watered down all-natural lemonade with stevia, lips finally not chapped after like a full week, pissing clear (9/10)
Sleep - Slept beautifully last night, but it is past 1AM so... (3/10, but any other day this week it would've been a 1/10 at this time of night)
So, what does that leave? Yep. Confidence. My confidence is shattered. I feel... worthless. Nope, worse. I feel like I'm on fire. I feel like I'm a problem. I feel radioactive. I feel like if I were to make eye-contact with someone in the hallway on my way out to the parking lot, it would make their day worse. And since I can't really identify why that would happen, it's pretty clear this is because of earlier. And, as you could imagine, this creates a pretty vicious cycle... because I don't know anyone up here and having my confidence replenished by others is like... the absolute best remedy for times like this. So, if I'm convinced that I'm just going to make peoples' lives worse, I avoid even commonplace interactions. I never get replenished. Deeper down the spiral I go. I just got out of several years of this cycle, with multiple self-absorbed people. It almost destroyed me. Now I am here, and I'm kinda quaking in my boots. I'm scared I'll meet another one of them. I'm scared that in my desperate loneliness and need for social affection, I'll naively overlook warning signs and become a thrall again. Dark shit, huh?
So, yeah. Not a great night. XD I did go to the grocery store. It was weird and overwhelming. Maybe I should wear a mask just for my own sense of well-being, I have no idea what I should be doing, I haven't been in a city in like over a decade. I considered getting an orchid, I heard they're actually easier to grow than people make them seem and they're absolutely gorgeous, but I decided I wanted to put off my plant purchases until I could go to like an actual nursery place and talk to someone about what I'm looking to do as a beginner. And so they can give me a rundown on what the specific plants' needs are. But I did get a lot of what I was looking for, namely an LED nightlight for my bathroom which is very helpful because the only light in there is synced with a really loud fan.
And I worked on my hoodie a bit and got really good work done. In fact, fucking I don't care about getting to bed at a reasonable hour, I'm so tired of stressing about this shit. I want to get the rest of my work done on this hoodie, I've wanted to work on it for like 5 days now and I only got to work on it for like an hour and a half today. Like... I was in a stupid fight about a fucking car for longer than I got to do work today. Fucking come on. So yeah, I'm gonna put on some chill music and knock out the rest of that, then go get ready for bed.
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Just calling it now, Valve is fucking up with their titles.
Steam's not going away and honestly that's all they care about and why the fuck wouldn't they, they own PC gaming.
But their games are falling apart. Their shitty VAC system is outdated and growing less and less reliable every day. And instead of at least doing ban waves, they do absolutely nothing. Not that you can stop cheating in your F2P game tho, oops, probably shouldn't have made it free so you have an excuse to suck.
Surprisingly even Dota is feeling some of this, which is surprising because of all of Valve's titles, Dota seems the absolute most profitable.
All I can say is, apart of me is hopeful that they didn't lie about working on TF2, because if they did it puts all their titles on the chopping block alongside it. The same shit is happening to their other games that happened to TF2. And now, now we basically wait. We wait to see if perhaps, they are working on something. But given their track record, they're not, not at all.
Valve is dead. Has been for a long time. Steam is all that remains. The only argument against this, and bare in mind you have to ignore all their modern titles to look past, is Alyx, and tbh? I think that was a fluke. I cannot believe they actually released another game, but we all know it was because there was literally zero VR games on the market that were more than Nintendo Wii level gimmicks.
Otherwise, csgo, dota, tf2, all dead. No, lootboxes does not mean it's alive, it means it's on life support, you donkey.
Also to be clear this has been my mindset for several years, I just didn't expect them to take this long to reach this point. But I hold no anger. I moved on from their games multiple years ago. It was obvious HL3 was a carrot and they had already exhausted what they were back in the day. Now? I don't trust them to make any game competantly, I mean L4D3 was literally 90% done and they cancelled it because apart of their dumbfuck team wanted to scrap absolutely everything to switch from Source 2 to Unreal. First of all, fire them, that's gross incompetance that costed us a game and 90% of the game's work thrown out entirely. Fire them. Get a clue.
Point is, I honestly just don't care anymore. Valve inspires no positive feelings in me anymore. They lost trust after the Paid Mods bullshit and Gabe trying his damndest to turn the community against each other for a profit. Thank fuck it wasn't profitable.
Also gotta love that adorable lie that people emailing him costed him a few 10k. Because emails have data caps right? :)
Why do people still love Gabe after that fiasco? You realize he lied about something easily provably wrong? That had they not agreed or approached Bethesda, the idea NEVER would have happened? Instead it's only applied to Bethesda, because they were dumb enough to keep the idea around.
This is what I mean by the company no longer invoking positive belief in it's future. I just keep looking for SOMETHING and the best they got is they single handedly are keeping gaming alive and relevant. Well, kudos for that. I just wish you weren't deadset on soley being a distributor when you easily have the power and resources to make or publish any game you want.
All the creative ability and resources in the world, and yet, they still suck at making games.
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Idaho Green Interview
First off: ASL?
Austin: Idaho Green- 14 years old (oof), technically I guess gender fluid, and normally would say Brooklyn, but I think technically Caleb lives in Queens now! So I guess I'll just say New York. Originally from Huntley Project Montana.
Jordan: 43, yes please, in my parent's living room but living in the Big Apple where not having anxiety when you go outside is a win
Secondly: How bout them Mets?
Austin: This could be a big year! All the pieces are there, and they've been put together, it's just a matter of keeping them in place! Plus the playoffs are just always weird- anything where you have to win more than you lose, three times in a row will require luck, no matter how good you are. But I suppose having Jacob deGrom and Max Scherzer start your first two games helps lol.
Jordan: I might have lost $150 in sports betting but they got me through last year and they'll get me through this one. R e s p e c t t h e p o l a r b e a r
I was about to make a cheeky joke about the high cost of living in some parts of Brooklyn, where you all currently live, but it’s turning out to be pretty comparable to places like Bozeman these days so, there’s not much to say. Aside from the obvious population difference, how do crowds at shows in NYC compare to those in Billy? Anything about playing in Billings you prefer over the Big App, or vice versa?
Austin: it's hard to say now, because since we only come back every once in a while, Billings shows are kind of objectively cooler and more fun to play than NYC shows, which is super cool that people still come out and give a shit about us! But when I used to live in Billings, and we were doing shows on like a monthly/bi-weekly basis, and the turnout was iffy, that sorta got frustrating. And when that same thing happens in New York, it's less depressing, on like an existential level. Like, the idea of simply surviving in New York feels like a success, which, being a relatively easy thing to accomplish on a day to day basis, makes you feel more successful on a day to day basis. Unless of course, you die.
Jordan: Honestly, I've come out the other side with NYC shows. At first I hated how nobody will mosh or dance but once you get over how it's a rarity you understand that people can be into your band and literally just stand there. Even then - I've been in some pretty fun pits in Brooklyn! But Billings shows are almost always more fun than some shitty New York rock club.
Since the lineup’s been a bit of a revolving door over the years, could you tell us the current lineup/who will be playing at the fest this year?
Austin: great question! outside of Me, Jordan, Caleb and Pete, Ty will be joining us. And then I'm sure more folks will be a part of the show, but that will probably get decided a few days/hours/minutes before the actual show. We'll see!
The "Idaho Green Fambly (sic) Band" has been around for about 14 years now, yeah? How does it feel? How much longer can you go? Can we count on seeing Idaho Green open for John Cougar Mellencamp at the MetraPark Arena a couple of decades from now? How do you keep things fresh after all these years?
Austin: "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain" - Neil Young
Jordan: Never tell me the odds
Please forgive the pedestrian question, but what are your top five biggest influences? Musically or otherwise.
Austin: The 2002 Anaheim Angels, my roomate's cat, Pocket, and Travis, Walt, and Hunter from Paris, Texas
Jordan: "I Think you Should Leave," '60s and '00s Garage rock, the feeling when someone says something that's bullshit but you don't correct them, GBV, massive amounts of anxiety without an available release valve.
Let’s do a few rounds of kiss, marry, kill:
-Rancher Bones, Uffdahd, Body Language
Austin: Kill Rancher Bones- it's long and I'm always afraid of fucking up the riff part. Fuck Uffdahd, it's got that kind of energy I guess, at least of those three, and marry Body Language since it's a perfect song.
Jordan: "Kiss" Rancher Bones, kill "Uffhdahd" because you made me do this you sick bastard, marry "Body Language" so sexy
-Gallatin river, Madison river, Jefferson river
Austin: I am ashamed to say I have never fished any of these three or the Missouri! so they are all kind of the same to me
-George, Jerry, Newman
Austin: You have to kill Newman. George would be miserable to be married to so I will fuck him. Marry Jerry for his money.
Jordan: Marry Jerry (even though he'd cheat on me my whole life), kill Newman (cause I'd rather "kiss" George), "kiss" George because you made me do this you sick bastard. Do you know how awkward/funny he would be about being forced to have to "kiss" a man. Like the best unreleased Seinfeld episode of all time.
One more game: You're stranded on a deserted island, and you can only keep three tools in your dad's truck. Which tools do you bring?
Austin: Oh damn this is a good one! Hmmm... trying to think of things that would be 1. necessary on a desert island, and 2. difficult to replicate with the resources available. One would be needle nose pliers- being able to grip things, big and small, as well as a half weapon...I'm tempted to say "hammer" or something but honestly, if I'm using my dad's tool box in his truck- I know he has like 50 feet of vinyl rope and a roll of gorilla tape, and I think those would be more valuable than any other traditional tool one would find in their dad's truck.
Jordan: A leatherman (cause duh), Ty Herman, a tool shaped like a fully-functioning airplane that Ty and I can ride in.
It looks like you’ll be going on a little tour with Scuba Steve & the Sharks following Dreyfest to hit some other MT tour destinations like Missoula, Bozeman and… oh, does that say Havre, the crown jewel of the Hi-Line?… and Whitehall, whose population just reached 1k?… You know, you don’t need to make up a whole tour to get your friends to go to the Lewis & Clark Caverns or Buffalo jump museum with you. You can just ASK!
Austin: We were actually thinking about going to the Lewis & Clark Caverns! I have never been (have heard mixed reviews from everyone that's checked it out tbh) and if the Whitehall show falls through (I wrote to the city but have not received a reply) I was thinking of finally checking it out.
Favorite thing about leaving the city/returning to Billings?
Austin: watering the tomato plants at my parent's house
Favorite thing about leaving Billings/returning to the city?
Austin: watering the tomato plants on the roof at my apartment
Jordan: taking all of the things I bought without a sales tax back to Brandon's America.
Do you have a favorite memory from past Dreyfestestes?
Austin: I think in 2015 I was living with Caleb at his dad's house and on the morning after day 1, I think I woke up to David from WhiteCatPink in the living room playing the bagpipes, with somebody's dog sitting in the living room just kind of standing right in front of him, watching/listening. Just a totally normal, empty living room, and WhiteCatPink playing the bagpipes and a random dog hanging out.
Jordan: Watching Noise Noise Noise's last ever set and seeing Kelly throw his guitar across the stage in such a way to have it spin and perfectly bounce against an amp. The sound of that guitar bouncing off that amp is the purest distillation of rock and roll.
What is New York’s hottest club right now?
Austin: I know the answer for this one- New York’s hottest club is RASH. Located in the produce aisle of a Bushwick Foodtown grocery store, this nightlife hotspot is the creation of senicidal cokehead Andrew Blowmo. This place has everything- gauze, lumps, derelicts, Julia Salazar, A CITI BIKE THAT JUST WON'T LOCK. And look over there- is that Brandon Nimmo? No, it’s just a Honduran woman with a handicart selling bags of sliced fruit.
Jordan: Either Austin's roof or Austin's bathroom
You guys put out Rancher Bones close to four years ago now. Got anything else cookin’ for us hungry, hungry hippos?
Austin: Yes! We recorded some ~new~ songs with Hunter Davidsohn just a few weeks ago- hoping to get those puppies mixed and matched and mastered and plastered and laquered on wax as a 7 inch by the end of the year. Then we're thinking of finally releasing the literal dozens of songs we've recorded over the past 10+ years that have never seen the light of day (if we can find them lol).
You can catch Idaho Green during this year's fest at Nova Center on August 6th at 11pm.
SEE YOU IN THE PIT!
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!!! nintendo direct spoilers !!!
honestly i could sorta care less about anything that was talked about for the first half besides mario robot soccer. it looks kinda cute (also front mission remake seems cool even if i prob wont play it).
but then it got to chrono cross and i started cryin. the rumor seemed like such an obvious lie, so i was so surprised n happy! and the inclusion of radical dreamers makes it extra special. fingers crossed that this could hint at a chrono trigger remake. or a chrono 3. regardless it looks great and i think some ppl are really sleepin on how big a deal it is that square is finally acknowledging chrono again.
after chrono cross was announced it was hard to come down. i just loveddd this direct. kirby continues to look good. tho it really is obv the spiritual successor to mario 3d land, so it doesn't wow me at all sorry.
the live a live remake, on the other hand, DID wow me. like what the fuck. i just never expected it? and it looks REALLY GOOD. like i'm probably def gonna get it. so cool! just... wow.
klonoa was another awesome surprise. like the sheer number of remakes/ports/sequels of true classics was starting to het out of hand. just what the fuck. klonoa is so cute n good n i'm excited.
i think i might be out of order at this point (blame shitty news sites for always neglecting details), but the portal stuff was cool. but it also confused me! why is valve putting out games on switch right as the steam deck releases? maybe they just really don't want to make nintendo think they're trying to compete??? kinda silly since the natural competition is unavoidable. but!! it's still cool? idk.
i sorta can't believe we're getting another wii sports? the aesthetics looked hideous at first but i'm warming up to them. idk i think the series was always rly good, tho it'll be hard to justify spending $60 or even $30 on it. regardless, it's another cute game to play w family n drunk friends etc.
getsufumaden looks like it could be neat if it wasn't bein made by konami. assuming this is like a mobile game on console. also i think this was announced earlier? idk i just wanted to mention it.
the metroid dread update... i wanna pay respect to it. even tho i honestly couldn't give a single shit about an edgelord tryhard mode? i think it's a neat idea to include it alongside a "beginner mode". this is how you do it!! it pleases everybody. to anyone saying "why?" like just this isn't FOR you. it's so that everybody can play no matter how casual or deranged. i wanna see more of this kinda stuff. a great way to address the like single complaint about the new metroid. bravo.
earthbound. listen. it's awesome. including mother 1 too is also awesome. should this have already been part of the service a while ago? yes obviously. is this one of those "only exciting because nintendo is so witholding so our standards are in the dirt"? most definitely. but it's still cool. for some reason nintendo neglects mother, much in the same way square neglects chrono. it's another one of the best snes (and nes) games ever made that was weirdly missing from the collection, so i'm glad it's finally here.
speaking of which... why the fuck didn't they bring chrono trigger to the service? wouldn't this be the perfect time?? unless... LOL don't make fun, but this is another reason i think they might be doin a chrono trigger remake etc? i'm just sayin!
ok last game i cared about (and no it isnt xenoblade, even tho that series is obv cool i'm just not invested yet): mario kart. and i GET why some people are complainin that it's just dlc. i really understand... in theory. because u know what? i felt the same way about smash ultimate at first. i was like "what the fuck this is just dlc for an old game so why aren't they actually making a full NEW game instead???
but smash u ended up being one of my fav games ever. it was really cool to have such a massive amount of content in a single, solid game engine. and that's more what this feels like. AND it's only $25 instead of $60. i mean it's like 50 new goddamn tracks. that's silly. and awesome. i needed an excuse to go back and play more mario kart anyhow. i'm super happy about this tbh.
i think the only real critique i have is that we won't get the last mk dlc until 2023? stretchin it out much??? nintendo kinda has fallen completely into the "online service" method of release and i genuinely hate that (like why is wii sports getting golf way later just finish the game idiots)... but besides that? good direct. great direct. way better than it shoulda been considering they once again didn't show ANY info on zelda lol. we... we aren't gonna get that game until like 2023 huh. 😅
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