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swimintothesound · 6 years

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U Talkin' U2 To Me? - An Album-by-album Descent into Insanity

U Talkin' U2 To Me? is a podcast that wades the listener into the warm embrace of insanity over the course of multiple hours. Billed as a "comprehensive and encyclopedic" look at U2, the podcast is an epic album-by-album exploration of the Irish rock band’s discography and decades-long history. It’s a deep dive into the bleeding emotion behind artistry and the raw humanity that it takes to create a lasting piece of culture. Just kidding. While UTU2TM may not be that serious, it still manages to be one of the most hilarious, endearing, and (occasionally) earnest podcasts that I’ve ever listened to.

Hosted by Scott Aukerman (Comedy Bang! Bang!) and Adam Scott (Parks and Recreation), U Talkin’ U2 To Me? is a spiritual successor to Analyze Phish, a show taking place in the same "podcast universe" in which comedian Harris Wittels tries to convince Scott Aukerman why he should like the band Phish. The conceit of UTU2TM is similarly simple: Scott likes U2. So does Adam. Together, they combine comedic powers to systematically walk the listener through the band's discography in an effort to expel all of the U2-related information in their heads.

Forecasted by a teaser clip that found Adam Scott recounting a childhood memory of the 1983 US Festival, U Talkin’ U2 To Me? officially launched one week later in February of 2014. The first episode began humbly enough as the duo laid out their plan to discuss three albums per episode in the lead-up to U2’s then-unnamed thirteenth studio album. Within several minutes it became clear that things were destined to go off-track as Scott and Scott venture off on multiple tangents all while simply trying to describe the conceit of the podcast. Eventually, they settle on a rambling half-serious mission statement:

What we want this podcast to be is the definitive, comprehensive encyclopedic compendium of all things U2. In other words we are going to talk about it all. If you have never heard of U2, you will feel like you have heard of U2.

No less than a minute after outlining this semi-lasting objective, the two stumble across the podcast’s first great recurring bit: saying “Achtung Baby” over and over again for minutes on end. Sprang from a moment of improvisation while listing off the band’s discography, Aukerman goofily pronounced the name of the 1991 album with a full-throated bellow which prompted Adam Scott to respond similarly. Eventually, the two find themselves volleying increasingly-accented shouts of “ACHTUNG baby” back and forth at each other like a vocal tennis match. It’s absolutely absurd to behold.

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Eventually Scott and Scott emerge from their tears of laughter long enough to move the podcast forward, but this is the moment that (less than ten minutes into their inaugural episode) forever sets the tone of the show and gave the listener a glimpse of the beautiful insanity that was about to unfold on a weekly basis.

The Achtung Baby bit sounds so nonsensical to write out on paper (and it is nonsensical, even in the context of the show) because it’s a joke that defies logic. It’s abjectly stupid, yet somehow this string of cartoonish exclamations feels right at home on U Talkin’ U2 To Me? It’s so mind-bogglingly silly that you begin to crack up by proxy just witnessing to these two grown men entertain each other as they break down into complete hysteria.

The podcast’s initial plan of three-albums per episode quickly deteriorates to one album per episode (and eventually no album per episode) simply because the hosts end up going on so many diversions. Often recorded late at night after a full day of work, the recordings begin to sprawl into hilariously-rudderless, sleep-deprived ramblings. Even so, the most charming element of U Talkin’ U2 To Me? (and the thing that will keep you coming back) is the chemistry between the two hosts. As the episodes pile up, the Scotts quickly develop their own in-jokes, references, and everything short of a unique language.

Scott Aukerman and Adam Scott clearly enjoy each other’s company, and eventually, the podcast morphs into two friends recording multi-hour dick joke-laden podcasts only loosely centered around an album. This artificial extension ended up working in their favor because after several months of episodes U2’s album was still nowhere in sight. The show then became the podcast equivalent of a stalling tactic, killing time until the band released their highly-anticipated thirteenth album.

Over the course of several episodes, the show’s scope gradually expands into its own self-referential universe. The Scotts bring guests into the mix, record a segment in the white house, and create a punch-drunk 2-hour podcast based on a one-off joke from an earlier episode. Listening to the pair's spiral into madness over the course of 20-some episodes is a thing of beauty and something that I've never seen accomplished in the medium of podcasting.

The show’s first act culminated in June with the sixteenth episode, a “commentary special” in which Scott and Scott host a new podcast laid over the top of their first episode. It’s a mind-bending experience that served as a conceptual high point to the show’s already-meta narrative. With the U2’s new album still an unknown, the podcast went on hiatus until the record’s release. This was the end. For now.

In September of 2014, Apple held their yearly press conference. The tech giant announced their new iPhone, unveiled the Apple Watch, and made wallets obsolete with Apple Pay. At the tail end of the presentation, after nearly two hours of incredible, amazing, awesome products, Tim Cook threw the audience for a loop and introduced U2.

The lights dimmed, and the band came out to play “The Miracle of Joey Ramone.” After the performance, Tim Cook joined the band on stage for one of the most awkward conference exchanges in recent memory and revealed that the band’s albumless five-year drought was about to come to an end. After some back and forth, the two parties announced that U2’s thirteenth album was out now. Not only that, it was free, and it was already on everyone’s iPhone.

I was at work during the conference, and as excited as I was about the prospect of upgrading my phone, my biggest takeaway was the fact that this meant we would have a new episode of U Talkin’ U2 To Me soon. I raced to the /r/earwolf subreddit and joined hundreds of other podcast nerds who all found themselves excited by-proxy at a new U2 album because it represented the payoff the entire podcast’s run.

It’s worth mentioning at this point that I don’t even like U2.

Even in my fanboyish excitement at new Apple devices, all I cared about was that a band I’m lukewarm on was releasing an album, just because it meant I’d get a new podcast. It’s probably the weirdest string of events that I’ve ever found myself excited at, but I was ecstatic nonetheless.

And sure enough, the UTU2TM hosts met up the following day and released their celebratory, 2.5-hour Songs of Innocence episode only two days after the album’s release. I was overjoyed.

The album’s release was a total surprise, a highly-publicized rollout, and it harkened back to an earlier collaboration that warmed my heart. The internet hated it. Eventually, the Scotts got back together several weeks later to discuss how the album was sitting with them, and the internet’s overwhelmingly negative reaction to the album showing up on their phones. The episode that came out after the album’s release was a (seemingly) single bright spot in a sea of negativity as people complained that a free album showed up on their phones.

From there the podcast seemed over. The band’s new album was released, and the duo had (more or less) achieved their goal of discussing each album. They surprised us a few more sporadic episodes including a Christmas special, a live podcast, and a concert review. Each of these came after month-long breaks, so they were all pleasant surprises that I devoured almost immediately once they manifested in my podcast feed.

Then, in August of 2015, it happened.

I refreshed my podcast app and saw a mysterious download titled “U2 Talk 2 U.” Initially thinking it was a typo or that I was misreading it. I scanned the episode’s description to make sure that I understood it correctly. My eyes started watering. Adam Scott and Scott Aukerman had interviewed U2.

It was the climax of the entire show. A podcast that started out nearly two years ago with a period joke in the first two minutes now somehow found itself talking to one of the biggest bands in the world. It’s a journey that has to be experienced from the beginning, and one that I’m not even spoiling by talking about here because it pays off so many of the shows different in-jokes. It’s the heart-warming culmination of a two-year journey. Something that started out as an unassuming gag between two friends instantly became legitimized. Every dick joke had led to this.

U Talkin’ U2 To Me? is abject stupidity, and I mean that in the most complimentary way possible. This podcast came out at a pivotal time in my life where nearly everything seemed to be falling into place and shifting for the better. I credit UTU2TM with not only entertaining me for hours upon hours, but for improving my outlook on life and giving me a formative crash course in this silly comedic tone.

It’s one of the few podcasts that I’ve listened to multiple times in its entirety, and it benefits from both its limited run nature and the 22nd episode’s payoff. I still can't describe how elated I was when I saw that episode pop up in my iTunes. The podcast has more surprises, inside jokes, and humor than almost everything else out right now. And it’ interesting to see how the little things (like recording late at night) led to a memorable and impactful experience. It’s an unlikely pairing and an unlikely topic that I ended up caring about way more than I ever thought I would.

The real beauty of the podcast comes from how often and how abruptly the hosts can fluctuate between moments of genuine, unbridled fandom, and delirious, unhinged absurdity. It became a blueprint for my recent sense of humor and willingness to embrace the absurd and stupid. And, it’s a horrible segue, but I did end up coming out of the podcast liking U2, if for no other reason than the music’s association with dozens of jokes.

U Talkin’ U2 To Me? is a force for good. An impossibly-dense multi-hour dive into the depths of exponentially-increasing goofiness. And more importantly, an honest showcase of genuine fandom. It’s something to aspire to on an artistic level, and a journey that is worth embarking on whether you like U2 or not. It’s an achievement of the medium and should be required listening for any podcast, music, or comedy fans.

It’s something that must be heard to be believed.

It’s a good rock and roll uhh podcast.

#earwolf #u talkin' u2 to me?#scott aukerman #adam scott #u2 #songs of innocence #podcast

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a-non-sequitur · 7 years

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Rogue One: Catalyst: Thoughts

- link to my other Rogue One blabberings -

Finally finished reading Rogue One: Catalyst by James Luceno, or as it's also known by:

Lyra Erso: Badass;

Lyra Erso: They Could Have Easily Created Parallels Between You and Chirrut+Baze in the Film Instead of Ignoring Your Existence;

Lyra/Galen OTP Fever: How to Write a Strong, Balanced Couple While Still Giving Them Relationship Hurdles;

"I'm Thirsty for You and Your D, Galen," Screams Krennic Into the Rain

with foreword by Galen Erso, "Who Is This? And What Does He Mean By My D?"

and annotated by Lyra Erso, *The dickbag is talking about the Death Star, honey.

Tarkin/Krennic: Hux/Kylo Ren Got Nothing On This Hate Couple

and finally: Jyn Erso Is A Normal Human Child: how this makes her future character arc 1000x more painful

NB: Have only seen the RO film and have now read this book. This is going to be long and about 90% quotes related to characterization.

General Impression:

Writing was okay. Not great, but not bad. (This is especially apparent since I've just started reading the RO novelization, and the difference in quality is pretty startling.) Nice quick read.

Lyra is fantastic.

Galen is pretty interesting.

Jyn is adorable and normal, and it breaks my heart.

Krennic is... wow, I just want to laugh because he's so absurd but also a Terrible Human Being.

Tarkin is fascinating (see waaaay below for details).

Lyra Erso

No one holds this bitch down.

"She had no recourse. She wasn’t built to hold things in; to be complacent or compliant."

"Some of Orson’s remarks had made her wonder whether she and Galen were under surveillance, or even whether her personal comlink might be bugged. But she didn’t care either way. Orson may have drawn the line in the sand, but she would be the one to step over it."

Lyra loves exercising and exploring. She wants to go everywhere in the galaxy!

"She needed wind and rain, cyclones, quakes, and the threat of avalanches. Unpredictability. Natural forces at work."

She sees the galaxy with very, very clear eyes.

“Who knows to what ends Dooku might have put this crystal.”// “I can guess,” Lyra said carefully, “since Dooku loosed a droid army on the galaxy.”

"This is the Emperor’s dream,” [said Galen.] // Lyra wrinkled her nose. “Can’t we just call him Palpatine—in private, I mean?

Lyra is probably mildly Force-sensitive.

She was against coming to Vallt, where she and Galen would later be imprisoned, from the start.

"Her reverence for the Force had evolved from an enduring love of nature."

"... even if she wasn’t able to use the Force, she could at least feel it."

"But being pregnant with Jyn—especially while in captivity—had made her aware of the Force in a way she imagined the Jedi experienced: a profound connection with life that went beyond mere understanding."

"...she was secretly glad that [Galen] was no longer attempting to synthesize or create facsimiles of kyber crystals. One might as well try to clone the Force itself, or turn to magic in an effort to simulate the power."

"She would often sky-cab to the Jedi Temple grounds and exercise there, basking in the energy of that elegant site, surrounded by a nexus of the Force."

"The Jedi killed by the thousands, their Temple the scene of a battle, scant survivors scattered to the stars, the Force dispersed…She was as heartbroken as if she had lost a family member, and had cried for hours."

[Saw] pulled his datapad from his pant pocket and showed them the image of a green, black, and blue planet with a wide ring. “It’s called Lah’mu.” / Papa looked at the image and said, “It looks unspoiled.”

this is significant because Lyra talks a whole bunch about “untouched” nature and its strong connection to the Force throughout the book.

Galen Erso

has a very interesting brain

"he felt as if he already held the entire galaxy in his thoughts."

"He had a greater fear of attention than he did failure, refusing even to celebrate his birthday much less receive gifts or acclamation. With romance he was hopeless, pretending disinterest when in fact he was confused by his changing body and how it sometimes took him out of his mind, out of his deep thinking."

"...inability to find refuge even in his thoughts; to find what one of his mentors had called the still point in the turning world."

"He was suddenly lost without his research; torn between uncompromising tenderness for Lyra and Jyn and a sense of burden in being able to provide a flawless future for them."

"In his daily life he would sometimes go out of his way to introduce imperfection—in his drawings, his routines, his attempts at housecleaning—as a means of keeping himself from becoming overly occupied with results."

"It wasn’t that he didn’t wish to see the world as others did; he was unable to. He saw more deeply into things, and was attuned to nature’s own musings and inner dialogues."

"At times it seemed as if, in attempting to unlock the secrets of the kyber, he was trying to decode something about himself."

is very plain-spoken and direct.

"Most would have remembered him as the one who was always speaking out of turn."

"Galen merely shrugged. “Normalcy has taken leave of the galaxy.” / [A scientist named] Herbane’s jaw dropped a bit and he looked at Lyra. “Is your husband always so confrontational?” / “He speaks his mind,” Lyra said."

"But he was a terrible liar; he had no practice in the art. Never wanting to be involved in games, he had always spoken his mind. Where he was forever attempting to simplify his thinking, lying introduced complications."

“You could have at least made him work to get the current data,” [said Lyra, after escaping with Galen from Coruscant.] / “He’s welcome to whatever he finds. I could have sabotaged everything, but I don’t want to give the Empire a reason to hunt us down. We’re simply dropping out—although covertly. Besides, what I left will keep them occupied for a while.” / “Revenge was never your style.” / Galen considered it. “Orson may have worked me, but he didn’t force me.”

Galen has such a rigid sense of principles that even though Krennic had blatantly lied to Galen and was weaponizing his research - the! very! last! thing! Galen! wanted! - Galen didn’t sabotage or delete anything because technically Krennic didn’t force him at blasterpoint.

And this, plus the quote about the inability to lie, makes me see RO!Galen in a whole different light? Because Galen ends up changing fundamental parts of his character because of the trauma Krennic puts him through (aka losing his family). And Jyn ends up irrevocably changed from who she was as a child because of Krennic. And it makes me wonder - what would have happened to Lyra if she had not died? How would she have been changed?

so basically the only reason Galen isn't known throughout the galaxy as a genius of the highest caliber is because he can't write scientific papers.

when Krennic shows Galen the ruins of a facility on another planet, Galen (rightly) assumes that the scientific team there fucked up duplicating his kyber research, causing the experiment to explode. Galen says, "I was very precise in my notes." But when Krennic had interviewed the team a couple of chapters earlier, they said that the data and methods they'd be given "aren't specific enough in many instances" and that provided equations were "in a shorthand difficult to decipher."

Galen sent out his research findings to his colleagues in his own special shorthand without thinking of defining anything

And it's mentioned throughout the book that the way he writes is very rambly and with tangents and he'll write in different directions on a page and cram every bit of space with words

what makes this even funnier is that it's Lyra who he trusts to transcribe his notes. Which means that she transcribes all this down, doesn't get most of what it means but assumes any of Galen's scientific peers must understand it, and sends it on as is. And Galen trusts Lyra, so when she doesn't ask for further clarification on the notes, that must mean they're okay for sending!

like, i imagine galen could never figure out why he never got published, and Lyra's just like, "Honey, they'll realize they're missing out on something great soon." and on another planet, scientific journal editors and peer review boards internally scream when looking at the gibberish this supposedly hotshot scientist is sending them AGAIN and they throw everything into the trash compactor AGAIN because what the fuck they had told him to clarify, not write more nonsense

you don’t understand. this is h.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s.

headcanon:

one way that Galen slows down work on the Death Star is that he takes his terrible research writing habits and exaggerates it to the max. You know how Leonardo da Vinci used to write backwards, right-to-left? Galen starts pulling off that shit ASAP but adds vertical/diagonal/loop-de-loop writing, too.

Krennic had to actually hire codebreakers to be part of the "Transcribe Galen Erso's Notes" team just because Galen's notes became so illegible.

Galen used to take the time to simplify and re-simplify and re-simplify whatever crazy, complicated idea was in his head when he talked to Lyra until she could understand. On Eadu, when scientists and engineers ask for clarification, he'll restate whatever concept in equally if not moreso confusing terms, using long weirdass metaphors. Or he'll just completely ignore them, saying, "Leave me be! I'm at a breakthrough!" And woe be those who interrupt Galen when he's breakthrough-ing.

Dr. Erso is such a nice - if quiet - man, think his coworkers. But every time he writes some indecipherable equation on his lab's boards, they have the intense, passionate urge to wring his neck.

Lyra/Galen, my OTP (with Lyra/Galen/Bodhi being my OTThreesome that will never be, apparently):

They're hot for each other:

"[Lyra] recalled the first time she’d set eyes on [Galen] on Espinar, thinking: If this guy was any more magnetic, pieces of metal would fly across the room and start sticking to him…"

"that what [Lyra] interpreted as hostility was actually a ploy that allowed [Galen] to maintain a safe distance from her while he sorted out what she wanted from him and solved the calculus of their relationship."

"what Galen had found in [Lyra]: his opposite."

"The expedition lasted six local months, and by the end of it they were lovers. She had made the first move, but he had gotten the hang of things very quickly."

aka: Galen was a virgin or with little experience, and the two ended up fucking like bunnies.

They have an incredibly healthy relationship where they respect each other's abilities?!

"With her maternal instincts running strong, she had to resist an urge to intercede [on Galen's behalf]. After all, she wasn’t Galen’s parent; she was his partner."

Lyra to Krennic, who is trying to shame Lyra for making Galen's work "harder for him": “He’s his own person, in any case, and whatever stress I introduce isn’t going to cripple his concentration or interfere with his work.”

"She restrained an impulse to touch Galen or send him any kind of reassuring message. The job was his choice and she was determined to stay out of it."

“I’m hardly sacrificing myself, Galen. Being here was as much my choice as yours.” She looked from Galen to Krennic and back again. “Anything else either of you want to say about my life?”

But are also incredibly devoted to each other and hold the other's opinions in the highest esteem?!

Galen to Lyra, regarding providing his research to the Separatists, who'll probably weaponize it: "Should I simply accept their terms? I will do it—for your sake, for the sake of our unborn daughter. You need only say the word."

Galen, while experiencing moral conflict over his research on Coruscant: "Would Lyra understand? Or would she accuse him of being so driven by a need to measure up to the challenge that he had not only abandoned caution and scientific discernment, but also dragged her and Jyn down with him? What would his legacy be then? Lyra might not see it as a noble lie so much as a grand betrayal."

When Jyn, Galen, and Lyra are doing research on a different planet that ends up being targeted by Separatists, they end up trying to run away from their over-run town but end up being cornered by Separatist droids. Galen is constantly putting himself in between the droids and Lyra/Jyn.

[Galen] turned to face [Lyra]. “I had myself convinced that I was doing it for you and Jyn and to safeguard future generations. Instead I failed as a husband, a father, and a scientist.” He snorted in a sad way, then said: “I can’t do anything about being a failed scientist, but I can correct the rest—if it’s not too late.” / She smiled in encouragement. “Don’t be an idiot. I didn’t fall in love with your research, Galen. I fell in love with you.” / He took her into his embrace and held her tightly, saying into her ear: “I love you and Jyn. You’re all that matter to me.” He’s back, she thought, resting her head against his chest.

Kyber Crystals

How kybers are found:

“In most cases, kybers are brought to the surface by seismic activity—movements along slippage fault lines, and typically only when an oceanic plate is sliding against a continental plate. But even then the movement has to be horizontal. The crystals rise, gathering impurities or other minerals along the way. That’s why it has always been said of kybers that they are more often grown than mined."

Characteristics:

Close and extended contact with kybers is detrimental to sleep.

"Even on the nights when sheer exhaustion overwhelmed his racing thoughts, the crystals infiltrated his dreams. The Jedi were believed to have been able to establish a kind of rapport with the kybers through the Force. Was it possible that the crystals could affect non-Force-users as well?"

“The internal structure is unlike anything I’ve seen. It’s almost a bridge between organic and inorganic, as close to alive as a stone can be—which I suspect is why the Jedi were able to interact with kybers through the Force."

"It warmed as he curled his hand around it, but he knew from previous research that the crystal would show no change in temperature; and he knew also that it would not warm a sheath or a towel or any inanimate object. It responded only to life, even plant life. Which made the Jedi’s use of it to power their lightsabers all the more ironic and mysterious."

"kyber’s mix of transparency and opacity—characteristics the ancient Jedi had referred to as “the water of the kyber.”"

"By rights lightsabers shouldn’t have been able to cut through meter-thick durasteel and yet they could, which lent credence to the notion of their being augmented by the Force itself."

"One Jedi commentator had called the kyber a somnolent stone that needed to be woken up to perform its purpose. But that same commentator had cautioned that the crystal was also easily insulted and a Jedi needed to take care."

Galen: "Now that he’d found a way to alter the internal structure of the crystals, the kybers seemed in turn to have found a way to alter his."

Kyber Necklace

Krennic had showed Lyra & Galen some kyber crystals as a way to tempt Galen to continue his kyber research. Lyra is the one who realizes that they came from Jedi lightsabers. Later on in the novel, Galen reveals that he keeps one of those crystals in his pocket. There's never any mention of Lyra's necklace throughout the book, so I'm pretty sure that Galen gives Lyra the kyber crystal post-escape

WHOSE LIGHTSABER DID IT COME FROM

c'mon, someone write about how that Jedi hangs around Lyra and Jyn as a Force Ghost. please please please.

Orson Krennic

started as an engineer. Helped design/build a bunch of buildings, including on Coruscant

actually thinks, "Vader’s eccentric fashion sense notwithstanding"

[Krennic] turned back to Galen. “I wasn’t born brilliant or especially talented, but I’m capable and I’m driven, and that’s brought me to where I am."

Gotta give him credit: he really is a great manipulator. Tricked Has Obitt - the smuggler who would later smuggle the Ersos off Coruscant - and Tarkin into starting an all-out war between the Empire and an independent star system.

Krennic/Galen

One-Sided As Fuckkkkkk

I tried so hard to figure out how to describe their relationship.

Krennic is a Nice Guy (TM).

Krennics's that Guy who hangs around you a lot and you're kind of ???? about it but don't really say anything for or against said hovering, so he makes this epic love story between the two of you? And gets weirdly jealous around your friends?

Krennic is kinda like the Star Wars version of Severus Snape, with Galen serving as Lily, Lyra as James, and Jyn as Harry. Except the "friendship" is pretty one-sided all the time, Krennic doesn't have any redemption attempts for his shitty-ass decisions, and Lyra was never a bully. Jyn as Harry seems pretty damn accurate, tho.

“except it seems I no longer have to fight your battles,” [said Krennic.] Galen wiped the drink from his face and nursed his fist. “You never did.”

“It can’t have escaped your attention that you have a powerful ally in Orson Krennic,” [said Tarkin.] / Galen raised his eyes from the carpet. “We were acquaintances in the Futures Program. Years ago.”

Quotes showing Krennic's Thirst for Galen:

[After rescuing the Ersos from Vallt:] Once inside, Krennic whirled Galen into an embrace. “How wonderful to see you after all this time!”

“We have to put some meat back on those bones of yours,” he said as he crossed the cabin to Galen, “but I think I could get used to the beard.”

"... and on a couple of occasions [Krennic] had been Galen’s protector in fights or brawls."

[Lyra said,] “You realize that he’s never going to stop looking for you, Galen. You’re in his blood, crystal research or no. He’s never going to let go of you entirely.”

[When Krennic suspects the Ersos are escaping, but Krennic's stuck in traffic.] The anger and despair he had felt in the airspeeder returned and settled on him like a great weight. “Galen,” he said, as if orphaned. Then: “Galen!” shouting it to the busy sky.

Yes, Krennic just shouted Galen's name into the sky.

Krennic haaaaaaates Lyra omg (the feelings becomes increasingly mutual)

Krennic thinking about Lyra/Galen's courtship: "Still, he hadn’t expected the love affair to last more than a couple of months, and was shocked when they wed."

Thinking about the courtship again: "[Krennic was] being entertained by [Galen’s] bright-eyed confession that he had fallen in love. Galen, who would scarcely raise his eyes when a pretty woman entered a room, in love? It had to be a joke. The thought of Galen’s genius being undermined by some grasping creature drove him to distraction."

drove him to distraction

those words were actually written and published

Krennic said, "The Emperor has made reparations and reconstruction a priority, and one way he hopes to achieve this is by being able to provide sustainable energy to worlds that have suffered on both sides of the conflict.” He gestured with his chin to Galen. “Even your own Grange [Galen's home planet].” / Lyra’s brows quirked in a sign of doubt. “This is the same Palpatine who couldn’t get anything done as supreme chancellor?” / Krennic stared at her. “He defeated the Separatists.” / “With a lot of help.”

[When Krennic tries to make Lyra resent Galen for "holding her back":] [Lyra] regarded [Krennic] frankly. “I haven’t put my life on hold, Orson. My career, maybe, but certainly not my life.”

[Krennic said to Galen,] “You know what I find interesting—or maybe ironic is the word. It’s that each of us wants what’s best for you. In a way, we’re competing to make you happy, as old-fashioned as that sounds. And each of us has a different idea about what you should be doing. Especially now that you two have a child, Lyra wants you to be settled on a course that will mean the most for the family—fulfilled in a somewhat conventional way—and I maintain that you’re meant for bigger things, and will continue to do whatever I can to bring opportunities to your attention.” / Galen smiled thinly. “Don’t think I don’t appreciate it.”

[Krennic, regarding Lyra:] "That left only one person who still needed to be broken."

[Krennic said to Galen,] “Don’t you see what Lyra’s really trying to do? She’s using these alleged concerns to persuade you to abandon your research. Her goal is to keep you to herself—to stand in the way of your legacy.”

[Lyra, when thinking about Krennic's machinations:] "Was Galen to become the prize in a contest between them? Well, hadn’t he always been that?"

Krennic also hates Jyn

probably because she reminds him how Galen didn't Choose Him (the Snape parallels are strongggg)

he forgets her name 2/3 of the book and calls her "it" in his head

"Orson tracked [toddler Jyn], his upper lip curled in what seemed disapproval. “She’s feisty.”

“Yes, how is the child?” Krennic asked, all but sneering. “Into everything, I’ll bet.”

"The fact was that work on the superlaser was stalled, and Galen’s insights were needed more than ever. After all [Krennic] had done for Galen! Fame would have come to him. Grandeur. Legacy. Without his science, Galen was a nonentity. And Lyra… Flushed with anger, he peeled his gloves off as he walked and threw them violently to the polished floor. He would leave no stone unturned in the search for them.

Two things:

one: he's walking down a hallway in this scene. he literally throws his gloves to the ground and keeps walking down a hallway. our fave drama queen.

two: i honestly cannot decide whether that last line was a massive piece of dramatic irony purposefully written by the author. It's just... so good?! And hilarious?! Looks like Krennic forgot to give that order on Lah'mu to his troopers.

Tarkin/Krennic: A Never-ending Dick Measuring Contest

"The two officers [Krennic and Tarkin] had begun to circle each other as they spoke. “Our main weapon will have more firepower than ten vessels that size,” Krennic said. / Tarkin looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “Should it ever reach completion.”"

Ok, so I'm not going to get into all the scenes/lines that the two had between them (mostly because I didn't highlight them on my Kindle), but:

the greatest reveal of this book (other than Lyra's awesomeness)

is that the reason the Ersos escaped to Lah'mu in the first place

is because Tarkin facilitated their flight

ok, it's not confirmed, but it's heavily implied

remember that unexpected war I mentioned earlier that Krennic tricked Tarkin into fighting? So Tarkin saves Has - originally Krennic's agent, who betrayed the Empire after being Shown The Light by Lyra - in order to question him, and realizes that Krennic had played both of them. and so Tarkin is PISSED (and relunctantly impressed). And Tarkin knows Has is anti-Krennic. So Tarkin goes, "Hey, I'll let you live if you play as MY spy in Krennic's employees," and Has thinks quickly and goes, "Oh, sure, but let me send out this message to Coruscant to make my return seem natural," and sends a message to the Ersos that BASICALLY says, "Yo, you want me to grab your family and ditch?" Like, five minutes prior, Has had confessed to Krennic that Lyra Erso had Made Him See The Light. Tarkin ABSOLUTELY knew what Has was planning to do.

and that's how Tarkin's dick grew a centimeter the next time he and Krennic compared

Jyn Erso

born on the first day of Vallt's spring.

is technically a Vallti citizen

nicknamed "Stardust" by Galen because her eyes changed colors and "became flecked."

“Stardust,” Galen said. “That’s what’s in her eyes.”

YOU MONSTER:

"Having hurried over to have a look [at the kyber crystals], Jyn said: “I want one!”

“Maybe someday,” Lyra said.

Jyn is an incredibly normal child, and it friggin HURTS to think about what she’s forced to become

3 year-old Jyn used to travel around in the Coruscant research facility on the Star Wars equivalent of a hoverboard. Her parents forced her to wear a helmet. a;lsdkjfasdf socute

She's a pretty independent child, able to entertain herself for hours

She'd run around around with a toy sword in a scabbard and her stuffed animals.

"Instantly adopted by everyone, Jyn—indefatigable as ever—reveled in being the center of attention, entertaining everyone with her antics, watching closely, learning.

There's this kids' holodrama called The Octave Stairway, which Jyn is obsessed with

one: i had to shoo the Discworld reactions away.

two: the story is about this kid Brin who wants to go home, but to go home, he has to go down these eight floors of challenges in a castle. And at the very bottom he'll get the item that will help him fly up through all of those floors and out of the castle and back home

two-a: so in the book, Galen directly compares himself to Brin (he thinks Jyn drew Brin to look like him), and this scene is basically where he breaks down and realizes how he's pushed his family away and he cries and asks Jyn for forgiveness and Jyn is sweet and says, “It’s okay, Papa. Can we follow Brin home now?”

two-b: but you know how in my Second Viewing post I mentioned how falling/climbing (or, more accurately: going down/going up) seemed to happen waaaaay too often with Jyn for it to not be some sort of theme?

two-c: WELL THIS STUPID HOLODRAMA JUST ADDS TO MY CONSPIRACY THEORY. and possibly gives me a better idea as to what the dichotomy symbolizes.

Saw Gerrera

"[Saw] wasn’t shouting, but he might as well have been, such was the force of his personality."

[Saw talking to Has during the unexpected war] “Cheery thought. Throw dirt in your enemy’s face, get crushed underfoot.” / Saw stopped what he was doing and walked over to him. “Look at it this way, Has. If we can persuade enough people to start throwing dirt…” / Realizing that he was supposed to finish the thought, Has considered it, then said: “Eventually we bury them.”

Random Bits and Pieces that Didn't Fit Above

“You [clonetroopers] are never less than predictable,” [said the smuggler Has.] / “Yeah, we’re made that way,” the other clone said.

“Is there some equation that can put an end to all this, Dr. Erso?” one of the shaken insectoids asked. Galen set himself down on the floor to join him.

“If sentient beings were moved by the same laws that govern nature, there might be. But as we’ve come to embody entropy, I don’t hold out much hope.”

A second Lokori countered: “Surely the Jedi have unlocked the secrets of reversing chaos and will be able to outwit nature at its own game.”

“The Force derives from nature,” Galen said somberly. “Against such chaos, even the Jedi are capable of accomplishing only so much.”

oh my god the Death Star project is codenamed "Project Celestial Power" POWAAAAAAH

names of Cantinas: Malicious Moondog on Suba, Contented Krayt on Tatooine,

The Hiitian [a member of the independent solar system that wars with the Empire] agreed. “Occupation? Captain Obitt, you’ve obviously visited worlds that have chosen that route. How is life there?”

Has smiled in solidarity. “I’d rather fight.” Again he glanced at Saw and his fellow smugglers.

“That’s why all of us are here.” The humanoid flexed his feathered back. “What we fail to protect, Captain, we will leave in ruins.”

There's a celebration called All-Species Week on Coruscant

GIMME THE HISTORY OF SPECIESISM IN THE GALAXY

- link to my other Rogue One blabberings -

#rogue one #rogue one catalyst #jyn erso #galen erso #lyra erso #lyra/galen #orson krennic #saw gerrera #star wars #reaction #fanmeta #headcanon #personal post

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