#in hindsight maybe i could have done 23 for 2023?? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jlf23tumble · 1 year

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Fic Rec Anon - The best fics are deleted?!? No…

Canon, AU, Older or Newer, No ABO, No Mpreg.

Allstars? As in greatest of the greats? Yes please.

I loved Balm that you rec’d and that recent Oli fic. Of Mates and Men too.

Yeah, some of the very best authors have opted to delete, and rightfully so--fanfic is a gift, and if people are gonna be assholes, well, then no gifts! And I fully support any author who makes that move. I tend to download my faves so I can read them later, it just means that when I go look for a bookmark, it's sad to see the whole "this fic was deleted" (paraphrasing) notification..thank god I jot down author and fic name! Anyway, I digress, you have an ask, and I have a rather lengthy answer that I'll put under the cut:

So yeah, I use collections for bookmarks, and two of them are all-stars, the greatest of the great, so this was a relatively easy ask to answer, thanks to past me. The trick was editing back: each collection has close to 100 faves, so I decided to go with a theme. Welcome to the 21 club, I'm going to give you 21 all-star AUs and 21 all-star canons! To cheat, I went with different authors in both categories, and I picked authors whose work I love across the board, so do yourself a favor and go check out everything else they wrote, too--tbh, these were some REALLY hard choices to make!!

CANON

Self-cest, @jaerie, 2k. Is as it says!

Us, Me, We, @homosociallyyours, 2.3k. More self-cest!

No Control, thegirlwthekittentattoo, 2.6k. The bra's name is Christi, with an i!

she makes you want her love, enbyharry/ @non-binharry, 2.7k. BLs can't take this top!harry!

Feel my breath upon your thighs, cuckootrooke/ @larrydoinglaundry, 3k. This happened!

Want It Tonight, @lovingstheantidote, 3.4k. Teach me!

like craters in the moon, orphan_account, 3.9k. Dimple kink!

She Feels so Good, zedi, 4k. Late Late Show antics!

Fertile Ground, blaaake, 4.4k. If you've read Balm, come on!

mon petit, little one, publunchesownmyass, 5.6k. That sweater!

Google Says Cut That Out, littlemousling, 6k. Baby bdsm!

You Don't Need Me to Show the Way, loadedgunn, 6.5k. Tourbus shenanigans!

Only Thing That Can Quench My Thirst, eyesofshinigami, 6.5k. My beloved pubes fic!

One day to believe in you, mediaville, 7.7k. To tell the truth!

no one's gonna know, @jishlerfics, 9k. Oh, they'll know!

give you my fever, beautlouis, 10k. A literal virgin!

Temporary Tattoos, Hotel Hearts, Horizon Homes, teumessian, 17k. The only time travel fic I love!

The bootyverse is expanding series, yeah_alright/ @uhoh-but-yeah-alright, 21k. Every story, a GEM!

yeah, he's a looker, @thedevilinmybrain, 40k. Oli's sex-related errands!

Time Passed, coffinofachimera, 66k. A heart-clencher!

It's About Time, @kingsofeverything, 3.5k. Older and clueless!

With Just One Look, @littleroverlouis, 4k. Vampire Louis!

sensitive to pressure, momentofclarity/ @gaycousinlarry, 4.4k. I want moreeeeeeeee sweat kink!

this is my jam, @disgruntledkittenface, 4.5k. '90s bath house!

Copy of a…, nonsensedarling/ @absoloutenonsense, 5.5k. Return of the clone-a-willy!

Make Me Feel, @bananaheathen, 10k. Can u believe this was mid-omam!

Tuxedo Dress-Up, blaaake, 11k. Hands down, my very fave!

into another (another) serotonin overflow, mercutionotromeo, 11k. So much goin' on!

A Slow and Steady Rush, godots, 11k. The title matches the vibes!

it ain't trickin' if ya got it, sarcasticfluentry, 10k. UNPARALLELED smut writer!

Thought the Song Was Sung, 100percentsassy, 12k. The banter!

Alien Roadtrip!, @helloamhere, 16k. Is as it says!

Ever Since I Tried Your Way, flowercrownfemme, 25k. 1940s dreaminess!

Take Our Bodies Higher, @littlelouishiccups, 26k. Phone sex operator Harry!

Buried Like Treasure, QuickedWeen/ @becomeawendybird, 40k. This heist, plus some Marcel!

hush., wankerville, 41k. The SWOON of this story, holy shit, it's cinematic.

Tied Down, HamPalpert, 48k. This absolutely SHOULD be a movie!

Harry Styles Cooks…, sunsetmog, 61k. A wip that'll never finish, but who cares, god tier as is!

Not That Gone series, abrighteryellow/ @a-brighter-yellow, 66k. High school reunion results!

Turning Page, purpledaisy, 67k. Another movie I wanna see!

#fic rec #one direction #i'm kicking myself because there's one fave of mine that must be in another bucket #but oh well #21 club rules!#some faves #in hindsight maybe i could have done 23 for 2023??#that'll be a problem for end-of-the-year me

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backdrifter · 4 months

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2022/23/24, 29/30/31

The transition from 2022 to 2023, the decade of my 20s to the decade of my 30s, unmarried to married life, being a student to being a working professional, has all come together. So this is a reflection less on a birthday and more on a period of months - maybe years - which honestly is how transitions work anyway isn’t it - these things don’t happen in a day (this also wasn’t written in a day. Also it’s late now but whatever)

I actually started writing this before 2023 started - then worked on it more in summer - and now have remembered it at the end of the year but it all still applies

The biggest feeling is the breaking of a sort of stasis, of waiting for the rest of my life to happen. The last few years have been a holding pattern, feeling like things couldn’t be done and decisions couldn’t be made because there were things that weren’t there yet. Patience wasn’t a choice, it was a necessity - so I won’t be proud of myself for the accomplishment of simply holding on - but I am constantly filled with relief, giddiness, gratefulness. The years were long enough that I won’t be taking these newfound freedoms for granted for a long long time.

So much of this is rooted in having put the wedding(s) behind us now, having “emerged” now with the two of us as a legitimized entity, and having done the whole celebratory tour to affirm it. That in itself could be enough without career and age getting into it. I can and will take some pride there. I know what it took. It’s the end of a half-life, and the start of not just “the next phase” but of what I consider to be real life in many ways. It’s everything I wanted and more

On a side note in my head I see age 25 as when I was mentally, emotionally ready to be married. A part of my mindset became “husband” then, which is a weird thing to say but it did influence how I interacted and positioned and presented myself. It’s probably easier to examine in hindsight. I think I will look at age 29 the same way in a part of my mindset becoming geared to “fatherhood”. I’m not financially there, or in any other way realistically, but I know this next few years is when it’ll happen and I find myself looking forward to it now, not having any wide-eyed horror when asked about it. And every now and then I’ll catch myself making a decision and thinking “well this is what I’d want to do/say/act if I was a dad”

On that note, I know this next decade is about family in so many ways. In chasing other things these relationships have been a neglect in my 20s. Now I’m so thankful to say my relationship with my parents has never been better. My relationship with my brother has been interestingly redeveloped as one between two adults. That’s thrilling. My family also now includes my wife. And her parents and grandparents, that’s mine too. There will be a lot to cherish and enjoy and build on there. The last point will add to this too I suppose. I will not take this for granted. In no other realm am I more aware of how limited time is

It also includes the family that is chosen. Never before have I been so grateful for my friends. I’m trying to make sure they all know it. I think other people are trying too. It’s quite something to know not just how much someone means to you, but what you mean to them as well. I’ve personally struggled over the years with making sure my friendships are meaningful and not just surface-level. I didn’t even realize I was struggling with it for a while, but as we’ve grown up we have more in common than just shared interests, it’s also the weight of shared years, and a support that comes from having had and built support. In a few cases, it seems like things are crumbling under that weight and that’s an incredibly difficult thing to deal with, but they tell me it’s a normal part of adult friendship. The other parts at least are enjoyable, and comforting, and so so valuable.

When it comes to career, academics, this is where I have perhaps denied myself or been denied some catharsis, some sense of accomplishment. When I got my undergraduate degree I was happy, but I joked about the degree not meaning much because I knew I wasn’t “done” yet. It felt like a stepping stone. Never did end up framing that degree or putting it anywhere. When I graduated from chiropractic it didn’t feel like an ending because of a postponed convocation, delayed licensing, and I knew I was going right into another 2-year grad program. There was a bitterness. When I finished the residency program last year, it still didn’t feel like an ending because I’m still haven’t published my thesis. No catharsis. But having been working for about three years now, I’ve found I can take pride in some of the ways I’ve been able to help people.I guess what I’m trying to say is I spent most of my 20s in school and I had a lot of cynicism about the pieces of paper I got out of it but it’s gotten me into a profession that I genuinely enjoy and what I’m able to do with that, that’s the accomplishment

It’s a bittersweet thing that I am standing at the cusp of this next period, ready to finally live life going in a direction that I want it to, and a direction I can (somewhat) control… and it’s also at the cusp of what feels like the end of the world as we knew it and as we predicted it to be. I know that’s out of my control. I know these are larger scale movements that have been happening for decades now. But it’s impossible to separate my future from the future of everything else isn’t it? How am I going to think about career growth and fatherhood and home ownership or whatever without thinking about how every summer for the rest of our lives is going to be marred with wildfire smoke and drought and general human suffering? Is that fair to do? Am I morally wrong to look forward to the future?

But that also fits into a last consideration which is my relationship with God and how that’s become more of a priority over the last 2 years or so. It’s grounding. I am trying to become more conscious about working on it, as I am about everything above here. The things I build from here on aren’t just about building in this world, they’re building something in the next. This world is indeed temporary. If/when everything collapses, there will still be afterlife and generations beyond us. That’s what it’s about - it will be about the account I give of myself to the Creator, and the account I give to my offspring. It helps to remove ego from the equation(s)

So that’s it - there isn’t really an ending to this ramble, because there isn’t really an ending to any of this. It’s all a work in progress. 2023 ending doesn’t really seem like it’s a celebration. Jan 2 will be a workday just like Dec 30 was. The world doesn’t feel like it’s worth celebrating. But I lay this down as a marker, so I can look back and see where my mind was and how far I’ve come in it one day

#personal

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