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#im so scared for them all!!! tim especially ahh i don’t like this
misssophiespice · 11 months
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Um Mag 117 is a big ouch fest huh?
“I trust them. All of them”
“Just…everyone please make it back home?”
“I don’t expect I’m going to be coming back from this. I don’t know if I want to.”
“You owe me one, Gerry. Rest in, uh…Just rest.”
This was an episode of tears oh my goodness, don’t mind me I’ll be over in the corner curled up in a ball
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swearronchanel · 6 years
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7.01 aka I have yet to stop crying
I’m back with my live commentary, what an episode. Let’s get it 1963.
it’s still brick out, long ass winter
Trix, Val and Sister Winnie dancing I love it
Helen is obvs pregnant but I’ll attempt to ignore 
Angela is so cute and Teddy aww, love the historically accurate unsafe back seat
“I don’t know about these American pop groups, there’s such a lot of slang in their songs” LMAO SHELAGH STOP IT, the 60s are swingin
Tim rolling his eyes like same
the 60s bops man, gotta love them
Christopher bought her Miss Dior MY KINDA MANN😍
Patrick and Teddy 😭 aww
if you go to a strip club in the afternoon you really have no life lmao
this poor woman I know I’m going to cry
I love Nonnatus table scenes
When will Lucille show up?
Lmao damn Phyllis was ready to redecorate and all
cancer spread fuck
Elastic roll ons are fajas/spanx I assume
but damn she can’t hide it anymore
I’m not knocking stripping but yea don’t go back, this lady is a bitch and this club is nasty
SOMEWHEREEEE BEYOND THE SEAAA!!!
MY SONG
Christian Dior made the scent to smell like love
Trixie is me when ppl don’t appreciate my nice perfume either
“Do I smell furniture polish?” LMAO omg stop
Miss Dior smells good tho, Miss Dior Blooming Bouquet is one of my scents. A fav
“Look and Listen” lol looks like the MTA signs
REGGIE CALLS VIOLET MUM MY HEART!!
“I’m scared” LOL BLESS REGGIE
He made strudel aw
“Everyone has a different way of coping” I love this show but I hate this show. This is too close to home/reality for me rn it hurts
demolishing the whole street shit
can shelagh turner wear something that isn’t blue god?
Nadine’s fur coat is freaking fab
-   my blood type is o- and my mom never fails to remind me I’m gonna need an rh injection if I have a baby
HEAVENS TO MURGATROYD : MOOD
Eat that cake 😂 what’s Nonnatus without cake
Sister MJ saying her first responsibility is to eat the cake. I love her
but here her eye problems begin 😭😭
sister Winifred driving is legit me LMAO I suck at driving and I need my license already 😂
Alexandra is so cute aw
my heart hurts for this man
Trixie’s outfit is on point, love the coat. The fur hat is funny, but still on point haha
“My mummy says only tarts paint their nails” guess I’m the biggest hoe there is
Sister MJ and Alexandra watching tv SO PURE
CHRISTOPHER’S 👏🏼EX👏🏼CAN👏🏼CATCH👏🏼THESE👏🏼FREAKIN👏🏼HANDS👏🏼
Like what a Bitch I never met.
Hotel getaway👀👀👀 say yes Trix😉
but ofc I respect you so if you don’t want to, don’t ofc & don’t feel pressured no matter what Christopher says!
but also this doesn’t make sense, Trixie and Christopher should’ve already had this discussion if they were already supposed to have gone away together (??)
Hi Sister MJ is crying and I’m not okay!!!
Finally some mention! But wth are Patsy and Delia doing in Botswana? African adventure? lit
Lucille! ❤️ Look at this gal I love her already! We have the same earrings on too
Sis (-ter W) we don’t say colored
Oh shit she passed out
Bladder infection what a blow
Sister MJ and Lucille reciting Keats IM FUCKIN CRY
the nuns singing again ❤️
Poor Ruth omg my heart
Oh shit Nadine’s water broke
Phyllis you badass bitch I love
oops she lied without knowing
Ruth is killing me, too relatable rn
Sergeant asshole keep it pushin before Phyllis clocks you
Sister Winnie still crying, still relatable
Lmaoo Churchill reference, he sucks tho
“It’s called cobblestone” friendship brewing
“In my head, fresh as paint” I love her  
Flashbacks to when Chummy delivered the breach baby
Take a shot every time someone is called “clever girl”
MUCUS EXTRACTOR
Shelagh’s best job where she at
Trixie and Shelagh talking my bbys, give them a scene together
Val’s back hurting from teaching ballet and tap omfg love her 😂
Give Nadine the studio
“Patrick what’s your fav European language” English “wrong answer” LMAO SHELAGH LOVE U BB
BUT ALSO YOU COWARDS SHE GAVE SPANISH AS AN OPTION, BRING A DAMN HISPANIC/LATINA CHARACTER ON THE SHOW PLEASEEE 
I’m free btw ^ college won’t stop me
“My uniform is going to talk to your uniform and not the other way around” FUCK YEA PHYLLIS CRANE
she compared him to nazis, ultimate drag
Sergeant’s tragic backstory partially unlocked
trix in aa
“You think you’re putting on armor, but in truth you’re building a cage” that one hurt
I’m sobbing
I can’t take this episode
“If I never said I was grateful for you I say it now… Miss you. I will talk about tomorrow.” good fucking bye I’m drowning in tears
Lucille making me cry more how is this possible
YES NADINE GET THOSE WAGES
YAS SHE IS BUYING THE DANCING SCHOOL
TRIXIE IS GOING TO SWITZERLAND !? 😭get it gal
guess she had a change of heart then huh
I’m down for it but I don’t think they should’ve had her decide in one episode, especially since she was just v conflicted ya know. Reminds me of how too unrealistically resolved the Christmas ep was tho   
maybe she’s not actually going to go in the end
the Herbrew prayers I’m fucking crying again, I thought they’d show sitting shiva but this is more emotional ahh
SISTER W GOT HER LICENSE 🙌🏻 IM UP NEXT
legit my permit is 2 years old I gotta hurry
Trixie’s lingerie 👀
“Darkness makes the heart’s case fragile, pain breaks it open, courage teases out the leaves and life unfolds and expands. Thrusting upwards into light.”😭😭
“A kitchen, you wouldn’t believe” stop💔
Phyllis making a move omg
I can’t take this I’m crying so hard. What an episode 😭😭 tune in next week if I haven’t drowned in tears
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surviveatitlan · 6 years
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Episode 3 - I’m Literally Googling How to Protect Myself From Hexes - Francie
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Francie
I'm literally googling how to protect myself from hexes
Yep!! Two tribes of 9!! I know a ton of ppl on this tribe so that should help but like, I still gotta be careful lmao. I'm gonna try not to work too closely with Emily because I don't want to hear any bs about "premades" like the last game we played together
i am literally hosting/was hosting (in tim's case) half this tribe + emily is my cohost rn wtfffff omg
Tim
So everything was going goood in my old tribe and all of a sudden we SWAP? I was not readyyyy. Like we were gonna rule the game as a tribe of 5. Tolimàn was robbed by one point yall.
Francie
the original acatenango peeps (the aca tacos) are trying to get tim and autumn to work with us rn so lets hope we can get this group together and have it be solid. autumn has no og tribemates left so that might help us. people to be wary of: heather and emily, both individually and as a duo bc I know that they adore each other so I can totally see them being a duo I gotta downplay my attachment to the aca tacos, esp my ride or die olivia
Allan
I'm really glad this swap happened. I really didn't feel accepted by my first tribe and I know if we went to Tribal, I'd most likely be out. Now I have the chance to make new allies. My strategy is to tell them that I didn't bond with my old tribe at all and hope that they see me as an opportunity for an alliance.
Tim
Me after seeing this challenge: https://confsnavarino.tumblr.com/post/171111635506 ITS ACTUALLY FUNNY GO CHECK IT OUT LOL
Francie
yep. tim/autumn/sammy/olivia/me alliance is a thing now. fingers crossed
Tim
Fill me up will alllll your propaganda. This is my second chance and I'm ready to get to the end.
Jay Bee
Honestly I think this swap has put me in a good position. I know enough people well enough to have options, but not well enough that I think I'll be targeted because of it. I have no idea who the fuck I'm going to align with though. The idea of Rebecka/Madison is scary, and Timmy says Rebecka/Dan is also a thing. I trust Timmy for some reason (I'm a meninist #exposed). OKAY so here's a swap assessment night 1: Timmy - Like I said, idk why but I Trust Ha. Hopefully he's not secretly a rat Bryan - A grade a Good Boy. Would definitely like to align with him. We just called for like half an hour so I'm hoping to nail down a relationship there. Brian - Um? I guess he's pretty new, which I think is good. I think he's really the only person on this tribe with no preconceived notions of me or other people Rebecka - Love her to death but SCARED of her relationship with Madison Madison - Same Dan - Seems okay, but I know he's friends with Rebecka so we love a core trio AnnMarie - please work with me Nick - Nobody seems to like him. I think he'll go if we lose, which is at least convenient if not good. Debating if I want to work with him just so that I'm not on the bottom. Rebecka proposed a me/Rebecka/Madison/Timmy/Bryan alliance but honeslee? I think in that formation I'm on the bottom, unless I can get Timmy and Bryan to want to work together with me. Anyway as usual I'm screaming.
Autumn
Me coming home to a bunch of strangers in my tribe https://media.giphy.com/media/nLhdSinRtaL2E/giphy.gif Y'all snatched my whole family and I should be pissed but like I'm really here for this new group so I won't turn up (maybe). Tim is my son, I love Francie, Olivia, and and Sammy already, Heather and Allan seem cool, and then Emily and I are on good terms again lmao. No comment on Jacob. So I come into tribe with all these new people, I'm juggling 7 conversations, and then Francie was like hitting me up for an alliance. I say yeah I really trust you and less than a minute later I'm in an alliance w/ Francie, Tim, Olivia, AND Sammy aka everyone I love? Nut the admins did me a favor https://media1.giphy.com/media/OTbo92zetdsha/giphy.gif
Timmy
This tribe swap is the best thing to ever happen. I actually know where I stand with Rebecka which is great. I know she will always have Dan's interests over mine so that is something I need to think about long-term, but for now it is okay because we are working together. Right now my number 1 is still Jay, I just have a really good feeling about Jay. Bryan worries me because he is an amazing player and I did vote him out in Alaska so who knows if he is bitter about that but we're talking right now so that is good. The second I saw Madison on the cast reveal I knew that I wanted to work with her because we did not get to in Himalayas and I knew ever since then that I wanted to work with her. She is messy and consistently messy but that could be good for me. Might as well have her on my side because if she isn't then I could go fast. But this tribe is amazing, best tribe swap ever!
Jay Bee
I honestly have no idea where the balance between cracked and inactive is!!!! Do you just.,.,.,..,not talk to people? I don't understand. I'm screaming. Help.
Francie
we're towards the end of this challenge i swear to god if jacob doesnt come online in time and fucking costs us this challenge.......
Jay Bee
We're doing the challenge right now and I'm SO DAMN STRESSED. I have a very hard time trying to let other people handle things and trusting others in general, so this is a special kind of hell. I can't believe this season supports underage binge drinking AND I can't believe I wish I were actually drunk. Send help.
Autumn
Candle king walking into Atitlan tonight? Sounds A-lit-lan https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2015-01/7/16/enhanced/webdr08/anigif_enhanced-20692-1420664628-12.gif https://em.wattpad.com/f6983ef619f199370692a5d6aa61048004415cc4/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f5a6e503033794868705a68795a673d3d2d3437393237303538382e313465626162373863366266356435353733373138343330393837362e676966?s=fit&w=1280&h=1280
Tim
So I FORGOT TO CONFESS HAHAHAH But this tribe swap puts me in a seemingly good spot my tribe seems strong and capable! An alliance was formed by Olivia that consists of her, me, Francie, Sammy and Autumn.  I doubt that it will last simply due to the fact that it was based on absolutely nothing game wise. Im looking forward to working with Autumn closely as well as Emily so theres that! The 99 bottles challenge was intersecting as Jay would say. IT FUCKNG STRESSED ME THE FUCK OUT. It felt like I was micromanaging a little Ceasers or something. Making the lists AND posting at the same time?? Allan messed up but it was no big deal at all. JAKE DISAPPEARED ON US which sucks heavilyyyyyyy. Hes prob going if we lose again. Hopefully. ANYWAYS THAT reward challenge is giving me multiple strokes and gastreoarthritis or some shit like that lmao. I lieterally fel like Cirie in that one episode where she kept falling of of that balance beam. Im such a comp flop I mean the only comp I can win is Mastermind and thats if im lucky.
Nick
ABOUT TRIBE SWAP so we get into our new times and ONCE AGAIN all the people im close with exception for madison and timmy IS ON THE OTHER TRIBE AHH. Dan and Rebeckka hate me for the drama we had a month ago or so. Timmy is good friends with Dan and Beckka from what I know so like im probably screwed if we dont win the challenge. SO yeahhh this will be interesting I want my old tribe back LOLOL
Tim
So I forgot to mention that Em and I were sharing letters and so that at least lets me know that she is interested in working with meee. Also im gonna lie and say I didnt get a letter because I didnt attempt fhjksk s (Reward challenge that is)
Nick
CHALLENGE so we lost the semi live challenge .. kind of embarassing like too We had this whole plan set up and it got ruined Now i am going to tribal and welll if im voted out then i wont be surprised. Hopefully I have been proving myself helpful in challenges so hopefully im kept around longer #prayfornick
Jay Bee
This tribal is gonna be batshit!! Literally twenty minutes ago everyone was like "let's just go nick" but now I'm really Thinking About It and. That would be stupid. If you look at Madison/Dan/Rebecka as a trio (with Rebecka/Madison as a core duo OR Rebecka/Dan as a core duo) and with Bryan as kind of a gentle soul sucking their teet (love u bryan), then that's a solid group of 4. If Timmy and I (I guess I'm a meninst now bc we're f2 or some shit) go with that group, leaving out Brian and AnnMarie, to vote out Nick, that puts the two of us on the bottom of a 6-person alliance. The next tribal could be 4 vs. 4. If we save Nick, however, and vote off Rebecka - therefore voiding both the madison/rebecka duo and the dan/rebecka duo, thus destroying the trio - the next tribal could be 5 vs. 3 and we won't have one of the biggest social threats still in the game with two of her closest allies up with her. I think that would put me in a much better position long-term because I really need a core group of people who aren't ingrained with Emily/Francie/Heather/Olivia come a merge situation where it's my kids vs. me. Timmy, Brian, AnnMarie, and (unfortunately) Nick could be an integral part of that. Especially Brian, since he's new. I can use new. I need to keep around players who don't know me that well.
Timmy
Jay is cracked and I love her for it. We are playing so messy and are in alliances with literally the entire tribe. Love being a swing vote. Splitting up Rebecka and Dan is going to be a great move, it will suck personally and Dan will give me a lot of shit for it (and Rebecka might too) but it is just a game so have to have fun and being a mess is fun to me. Might as well be toward the top of a group than knowing I'm at the bottom of the group of 4 (Dan/Rebecka/Madison/me). I'm really just hoping this doesn't hurt me having a relationship with Madison at some point because I still want to work with her. The only worry in the plan is Brian because who knows what goes on in his head but I know he isn't controlled by Rebecka who is just telling everyone her plan and adding people to alliances without asking. Like I never said I was okay with her/dan/madison (I was happy to have a group, but a better one came along). All in all though, Jay is my number one so whatever benefits us both is what I am here for.
Brian
Its still eh. Some people are fake and there is so much pre-season relationships that i'm so oof. BUT i dont wanna be in the minority and if joining a make shift alliance helps, i'm down for it. 
Bryan
Woo ok so we lost. That sucks. But I’m in an alliance with rebecka, dan, jay, Madison, and Timmy. And our goal is to vote out nick. I’m fine with that operative. He already talked about wanting to go against me rebecka and dan so like oops. I also love Annemarie. I need at least one person outside that alliance and that is her. 
Allan
THANK GOD WE WON THAT CAUSE I FUCKED UP. But like seriously, I was so scared that we were gonna lose and I was gonna be at fault for it. Tbh I'm a little annoyed cause it really feels like Tim and I did all the work and when we asked other people to take over, no one offered. It really makes a bit dubious about trusting my tribe.
Olivia
Woohoo! We won immunity! I am just so happy about that. I have a nice sweet little alliance going with the three aca tacos and another one with us three and tim and autumn. Autumn is all alone and idk Tim's relationship with Allan. Tim Allan. Ahahahahhhaha. Anyways. Jacob's ass was GONE if we hadn't won. He is still my target should we lose the next one. I also did Pancreas and got a 29 minute score which I am assuming is terrible but who knows. I love Emily and Heather but I know for a fact, without confirmation, those two are working together. Emily has fawned over Heather since isle of skye and I just know they're a pair. I love both SO MUCH  but i can't fully trust either. I thought for sure that being on a tribe with heather and tim, two close friends of mine, we'd immediately bond and become our new ride or dies. lol. but i think i can still work with both maybe but i like the 5 i already have so i guess we will see. how is it i have two idols, an extra vote, and i won immunity in another org but this one i got THIRTY MINUTES at Pancreas. oh well.
Heather
I have not confessed about my new tribe yet. I am now on the Atitlan tribe which is fun, and I have Emily who is a queen. Plus now I have some of my Isle of Skye people. I've missed playing with Olivia so  much, ughh love of my life. And Tim is such an iconic king. Also Jacob from my other tribe, who has been inactive recently. Gotta do other impressions too Francie: I love them with all my hort. What a perfect bean. Allan: Seems super chill but immediately went into game talk Autumn: A sweetheart ughh my love. Saved our ass in the challenge like 5 times. Sammy: He likes musical theatre so I love him. nuff said AND WE WON OUR FIRST CHALLENGE TOGETHER WHICH IS FUN SO YEET
Dan
So this is a damn mess, I really want to trust that Nick doesn't have a secret majority alliance against me and Beckka because I don't know why literally everyone would just lie, ya know? But I wouldn't be surprised if it happens honestly. I think Beckka would go over me???? But like that's the ugliest thing ever. I don't know why Jay would make an alliance with most of the people in the game if it wasn't a solid thing, but like I'm still paranoid af. IT'S SO EARLY TO FLIP. 
AnnMarie
I am so glad we didn't have to complete the full challenge because that was something I did not want to do at all (sorry Cameron). The only.nad part is that we have to go to tribal. Nick's name has been flying from all directions, and it's the obvious easy vote, but Nick is saying that Dan and rebecka are a powerful team. Jay has said that as well, so I don't really know what may go down at tribal. What I do know is that Nick will probably be the person voted out, as long as nothing super dramatic happens in the tribe. I'm super close to Jay and she's just amazing, Dan's super nice, and I LOVE BRYAN OK HE IS SO NICE AND I HOPE HE DOESNT END UP BEING A JERK in the long run. I'm so happy that I get to play with these people, and I can't wait to start a good alliance in this game with them.
Jay Bee
Loyalty? Who's she?
I told Nick EXPLICITLY last night not to tell Madison about our plan or alliance because she would tell Dan and Rebecka. Today, I wake up to the intel (from Dan) that Nick told Madison about everything. And guess the fuck what!! She told Rebecka and Madison. I'M NOT DUMB, NICK! Thankfully they all thought Nick was trying to make a power play and they don't believe I'm with Nick. NICK DO YOU NOT REALIZE HOW CLOSE I AM TO SLITTING YOUR THROAT!!! If you're gonna be loose-lipped I'm going to have to vote you out! Ugh. This is such a prickly position. I would much rather work with Brian/AnnMarie/Timmy just because they don't know me as well as Rebecka and Madison (and to an extent Bryan through Emily) do. I'm trying to figure out who the most disenfranchised people on the tribe are and use them because if I can be their only source of trust, they're always going to be loyal to me. The problem is that I don't want the next tribal to be 4 vs. 4. That gets messy really fast. If I do vote for Nick in the big group of Madison/Rebecka/Bryan/Dan/Timmy, that puts me in an alliance with all the power players and leaves out AnnMarie and Brian, who would be much smarter to have on my side in a merge situation, unless I want to go meat shield tactic in this game. I don't know Ugh. Timmy, please come online so I can talk through all of this.
Rebecka and Dan
https://youtu.be/AUDFxIjAuZM
Amanda (Guest)
Hello! So I know I'm not playing this game, and Cameron probably won't post this, but I was SUPPOSED to play this game so I'm leaving a confessional anyway. Just here to say that Rebecka and Emily are the true icons of the season for having me in their host chats and that's all. Also Cam. I love Cam.
Sammy
I’m so glad that our team won woooooo
Emily
Omg I'm such a FLOP! I didn't realize I hadn't confessed so hey I'm in public speaking pretending to do my work! Anyways, super happy about our tribe winning the challenge. I really was thinking we were going to lose because of FUCKING JACOB! He like. Was not here. At all. Total flop. Major flop. I haven't even heard from him in like two days. WHY PLAY A SKYPE BASED GAME IF YOU DONT CHECK SKYPE REGULARLY??? Anyways, I recorded a cast assessment but it's a mess because I'm really sad in it and you can tell im a mess so im gonna type it bc you can't tell im upset when im typing!!!!!!!!!!! ALLAN: Really helpful in the challenge so I'm a stan! Hard to talk to I think but I'm really vibin him. I think he's gonna be a good asset to our tribe! Yay! I don't really have much to say about him right now AUTUMN: I'm going to PRAY that she's not bitter from All Stars. That was like a month ago and honestly get the fuck over it. You made a stupid move and it backfired on you! That's it. Don't make a stupid move against me this game and I'll work with you! I really like Autumn and I like how she plays but reading her Navarino confessions I can tell she's just someone that holds onto grudges for far too long and it's annoying. All Stars is not a good representation of my game. WORK WITH ME PLEASE FRANCIE: love of my life.... I said in the beginning I didn't want to work with them but I realized that if I want to work with Tim.... Francie is probably also gonna have to be my ally. Francie and I were also talking about how, if we lose, Jacob would be an easy vote because he's inactive! I know that a lot of people would be fine with that. Also, he hasn't competed in Pancho so I don't think he has any letters? Like he didn't even get the one from the rules? So no idol for Jacob. Easy vote. Bye bye. HEATHER: I'll sell my soul for Heather. My queen. I love her. Honestly I can't wait for her to snake me. Fucking queen. I just love her. If anyone targets her I'M COMING FOR THEIR ASS. STAY OFF HEATHER BYE BYE! JACOB: Inactive. Bye OLIVIA: I REALLY want to work with Olivia. I plan on making her my number one in this game. I just get such a good vibe from her. She seems intelligent, stealthy, and fun... that's what I want in an ally. She also has some good connections with other people and she's got a good social game. Definitely someone I want to work with and go far with. But, not too far because she'll win the game, but... I'm also trying to be loyal this game. Loyal to a fault makes people upset. So. I'm gonna have to decide. SAMMY: I played with him and Indonesia and led the charge to vote him out right before merge so like he could hate me? But he also voted for me to win the game. SO. I don't think he's bitter, but he knows I think he plays messy. He's super sweet though and I'm a stan. I gotta be careful what I leak to him, but I like him and can see myself working with him in the future. TIM: MY KING! I love Tim and want to work with Tim high key. He's such a sweetheart and I'm really hoping we can go far. I'd be so down for a little group of he, Olivia, and I. Is that proper grammar? I don't care. Anyways, I love how he plays and he's very well thought out and stuff so I'm really hoping we can go far together. I'm a Tim stan. A major Tim stan. It's still too early for me to for sure tell you who I'm working with (I usually go from round to round, but I don't want to do that this game. No flip-flopping this time unless it genuinely will be better for me AND others.) I'm really trying to refine how I play. I'm trying to be more honest. More social. More logical and strategic, but at the same time, not as PURELY strategic? I need to make sure my social game is phenomenal before I start going off and being a strategic mastermind. People won't listen to people they don't like, and they won't vote for them either. Whew. Okay I hope this super long confession makes up for my lack of confessing. Goodbye!
Jacob
I was asked to make a confession so here it is. I'm glad we won or I'd be screwed for falling asleep after inventory bleh.
Timmy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OolhMHA3F0o&feature=youtu.be
Emily
Finding out all these people's zodiac signs is very inch resting... I y'all I really do. Capricorns? Gotta go next. I don't stan. Bye bye.
Madison
WHOO okay last minute confessionals lemme hear you say WAYYYY HO!!!! Nick is the vote which like awk bc now we’re in another game together so sucks I guess. Also he came to me trying to vote puts rebecka though so like wtf bye bye. 
Rebecka
Me if I get voted out tonigt: Thank you dan and jay for being loyal. Thank you also the the people who voted me out now so I don't have to go through a bunch of other rounds of drama and lose xoxo 
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