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akumulullaby · 4 years

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uuhhh kinda longy rant abt feelings im having that i never had even tho i had this blog for . 4 years

basically i started this blog out in 2016 when i ran away from my old blog that was full of toxic ppl i followed. when ppl say tumblr is a “hellsite” they rly arent joking, its impressive how much this website can take a toll on someones mental health for a variety of reasons

it was a relief starting all over again, no more of the pointless and toxic discourses i would see all the time, ppl fighting all the time, the anti recovery mentality. this was just some place i would rb fanart and funny posts id find

in that same year, 2016 was also the year i got into guro. i connected easily w that sort of content and art, drawing it was therapeutic in some way, yes i was an “edgy kid” but i had fun w all that. so i made this blog become a “guro blog”. its some sort of escape place where i can just rb art that i find cool and inspire me

and im not someone relevant nor i think i will, but i could always just rb art of whatever i wanted and i wouldnt feel afraid of being judged by it here. but lately i feel that has changed w how much callout culture and fiction=reality mentality has been spreading in fandoms, in a much larger scale than it was on 2015/6.

i feel that i should only be allowed to enjoy guro thats “artistic” or “metaphorical” and that if i enjoy anything bearing more on the violent side ppl will think smth is wrong with me, that im a bad person or that i condone that sort of stuff. i feel like ppl will think im a “freak” or that i condone abuse and that sort of stuff bc of DRAWINGS

being uncomfortable by anything is valid, im uncomfortable w some stuff in the guro meadows myself (cant stand teeth gore or trypo) but its wrong to assume someone is a bad person just bc of the content they enjoy imo ;; i dont wanna feel afraid of reblogging art in my own blog that ive been doing the same for 4yrs and never felt fear. now that im +18 and a lot of things have changed in fandom spaces i rly feel fear of being attacked or harassed even if im just a small blog here

it should be clear that i dont condone any sort of abuse irl, i cant stand irl gore involving ppl getting actually hurt, it makes me terribly anxious. all thats here is art and drawings. i wont ever post irl, nsfw or eroguro here (since tunglr banished them lol) and if u think im a bad person for the kind of content i enjoy, you can leave my blog ^_^

that being said, pls dont ever feel afraid of asking me to tag anything in specific that might make u uncomfy, even us into guro have things that make us uncomfy and can trigger us, we are still human.

if u read this until the end congrats, i just wanted to get this out of my chest ;;

#txt #long post #sorry for this rant ive just been feeling unsafe here in my own blog that has always been a space for me #im only a small boi whos here for some gorey content

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