#im one of them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alexandersimpleton · 3 months

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Frederick sat in the bath tub. He had been at a party. It wasn't one of those fancy ones the only royal were invited to. In fact, Frederick was pretty sure at least half of the partygoers had committed a crime at some point.

But he didn't like the rich people parties. He preferred these ones. The parties where he could get along with some of the people, and there wasn't any pressure to keep up the family title or whatever.

But it had gotten so loud... People were yelling and there was food or something and the smell of it still permeated his nostrils and just-

Ugh.

So he sat. After a few moments, he slowly began to remove his hands from where they'd been clamped against his ears. He started to relax a bit, leaning back.

And then he went right back up into fight or flight mode when the door opened and immediately slammed shut again.

Frederick looked over. There was someone sliding down the door. They had yellow boots on, and a brown hoodie with bear ears. They slid down, falling to their knees, before the room went completely silent. An epithet.

The girl turned around and sat down, relaxing a slight bit at the quiet, before immediately ceasing to do so upon seeing Frederick.

She yelled something silent for a few moments before the light green tint left her eyes.

"Ah- I'm- who are- I'm sorry- uh-" the girl stuttered around her words, tugging tight on her backpack straps, while Frederick similarly flailed to explain himself, until they had both devolved into simultaneous, incoherent mumbling that eventually tapered off into them just awkwardly staring at each other.

Frederick worried at his hoodie strings. He was wearing a dark purple hoodie with pastel purple accents around the edges of the sleeves. It had simple embroidery all over. It was several different kind of dragons, all in simple back thread. His pants, on the other hand, were simple and black.

The girl broke the silence first. "So... What're you in for? Heh heh..." Her voice broke at the end of her awkward laugh.

Frederick didn't want to talk right now "Loud..."

The girl had a look of recognition on her face. "Yeah..."

She walked over and joined him in the bath tub. "Mind if I..."

Frederick nodded.

She nodded back.

They sat in silence for a while. It was still kind of awkward, but I was a comfortable silence.

"My name is Molly by the way."

Frederick nodded. "Frederick."

The girl looked down at her lap in thought. A look of surprise crossed her face, and she snapped her head to face him. "Wait.. like, Frederick the prince!?"

Frederick blushed, but ultimately resigned to the accusation.

"Oh my gosh- uhm, I'm sorry your highness- I just didn't think that-" Molly's bumbling reflected off the walls. It felt louder than it it probably was.

The volume wasn't helped by the sound of someone crashing through the door. "Did I hear something about there being a prince in here!?"

Frederick flinched and then froze. He was 13 again, hiding from Them. They had crashed through the door, their faces sick and grinning like serpents. They would pick him up and they'd touch him and they'd hurt him and they'd- two gentle hands pulling his hands away from his scalp- Frederick vaguely heard voice in his head he didn't care he couldn't care they were holding him by his back he couldn't breath- Giovanni held him gently by the the wrists, trying to coax him to breath with him. In for 11, put for 7. He repeated the mantra. He was unresponsive at first until- the voice got louder and louder. It was telling him to breath but he couldn't. Not enough was in his lungs and his ribcage was caving in but he made it for 5 this time, and now 7... The illusion slowly faded away.

Frederick was at a party. They were commoners. Not Them. Why.. was Frederick still thinking about Them?

The boy opened his eyes. A man with pink hair was in front of him, looking him up and down for signs that he was still hyperventilating. Upon seeing that he was lucid, the man stood up the the bath tub. Frederick quietly muttered a "uhm, thank you" while wrapping his arms around his legs.

"Oh, it's all cool, it happens with Dark Star sometimes." the man responded like he'd offered to deliver a message from one of his coworkers and not like he'd just coached someone out of a flashback freak out.

...

"Anyways, Bear Trap, who's this?"

"Oh that's-" Frederick blushed and grabbed the hem of his hoodie as he looked away "prince Frederick." She told Frederick under her breath "This is VINCENT, my boss."

The man's eyes filled with sparkles. "You're a PRINCE!? Hey Bear Trap, should we rob him?"

Frederick startled a little and scooched back from the pair.

"Boss, he seems pretty nice."

"What was that Bear Trap? I'm gonna rob him unless you tell me not to."

An Assertive look crossed the Molly's face. "Boss, no. Please."

The man smiled. "Only because you asked nicely." He patted Molly, or Bear Trap, on the head. She chuckled. Frederick stared with mild bewilderment.

He turned towards Frederick. "So, what kingdom you from?"

"Plaid."

"Yeesh." The man made an expression that seemed to suggest he felt bad for him. Frederick only partially disagreed.

"Wait, doesn't that prince like, really like green? Why are you wearing purple?..." The man eyed Frederick with suspicion.

Frederick shrugged. After seeing his vibrant green eyes, everyone just started.. putting him in green. They got really upset when he wore something else. Frederick figured it was because Blaine was red and Lance was blue, so they needed another color coordinated prince.

"I don't know. People told me to. I probably look bad in purple anyways..."

"No no, you look like- like a space prince!" Molly said, Frederick only realizing now that she looked to be in middle school.

Frederick's eyes lit up. "Like the Little Prince!" He blurted out, but immediately blushed and scrunched his hood over his face. "I mean- uh-"

The man popped Frederick's personal bubble and leaned in to look at his hoodie. "Oh my gosh, is that a DRAGON!?" he asked, somehow seeming more like a middle schooler than Molly did.

"Oh yeah, it is."

"Oh my gosh, you're a prince have you slain any!? Do you have cool battle scars, can you show me a dragon!?"

"Uhm, no..."

"Oh!" He said, with zero disappointment whatsoever

"Do they actually breath fire?" Molly asked, mildly curious and a bit squeamish.

She has unwittingly set off the brain dominos.

"Oh yeah, they actually do. Or, well, the ones he was pointing at do. They're not actually fire dragons though, they're lava dragons. All that stuff about them sleeping on mountains of gold are just myths because of how they would sometimes steal gold from castle treasuries. They actually melt it down and use it for nests to raise their young. There are actual fire dragons though, They're just smaller. They have this really cool thing they do with this other species of dragon, where one produces a gas heavier than air so it sits on top of a lake and the fire dragon would set it on fire and kill tons of migrating fish and they share.. the..."

Frederick stared at the two people that he had forgotten were there. He froze in place, taking notice of how his hands were frozen mid gesture. A mortified pink slowly clouded his face.

VINCENT MURDER quickly noticed how Frederick explained things. He was the kind of kid that could make dirt sound interesting with just how excited he was. VINCENT remembered his reputation in his kingdom as the grouchy one that never smiled, but he came to realize that was because his smile would always take the show if he did.

The boy stammered, covering his mouth and making his words even less legible than they already were.

"No no, that sounds really cool" Molly said "Are those kinds of dragons on your hoodie?"

Frederick nodded

"Hm..." VINCENT murmured. "What about this one? It doesn't even have legs."

"Oh, that's an earth dragon. It's one of the only dragons that can't breath anything other than air. It makes up for it with sheer brute force"

"Cool." VINCENT said.

"Where did you even get this?" Molly asked "It looks really fancy."

"It's this clothes store in the shade kingdom. I saved my allowance for like, a year to get this..."

"You're a prince and you have to save up to buy a hoodie?" VINCENT asked, unconvinced.

"Oh, father gives my siblings way more allowance than me! I don't think he likes me very much..."

Oh God. Did he just say that out loud? He said that out loud. What is wrong with him!?

The boy chuckled awkwardly, trying to play off whatever that was.

"Why not!?" VINCENT let out a scoff of indignation. "You like DRAGONS! Who wouldn't like someone who knows this much about dragons!?"

"I mean, Blaine has his own fan club and Lance is the champion of like, 10 separate sports. I can't really do much other than read books, and I rant about things no one cares about, and I'm a coward and I'm stupid and have gross vomit colored hair and-"

VINCENT grabbed him by the collar and picked the boy up. "That's it!"

VINCENT proceeded to drag Frederick out of the bathroom and back into the party. Specifically to a bunch of teens in surprisingly good costumes.

It wasn't a costume party.

"Behold!" VINCENT said with a flourish. "MY MINIONS!"

Frederick gulped. "M- minions?"

"Yep! We're the best bad guy group in Sweet Jazz City!" VINCENT turned towards his minions. "And behold, my minions, honorary cool guy Frederick!"

The boy's head snapped towards VINCENT. "You think I'm cool?"

"Uhm, yeah?" The man said like Frederick had just asked if the sky was blue "You're a prince that knows everything about dragons. Your family is a bunch of weirdos.”

Frederick blushed a little at that. He guessed knowing about dragons was cool.

The group of teens crowded around the boy, asking about prince things and what it was like.

“Uhm, I don't kill dragons, the palace is kinda just a regular house but big (even if I wish it wasn't) and I don't have to take special classes or anything because I'm the youngest and probably not getting the throne.” Frederick tried his best to answer every question he heard, but it was all a blur.

“Guys, maybe you should stop crowding him?” Molly asked so quietly that nobody heard her. She got that same Assertive expression and said, louder “Guys, stop crowding him.”

“I'm so proud…” VINCENT murmured in the background.

The teens all backed off and started asking one by one. Or, well, about as one by one as you can get a bunch of teenagers asking questions to a foreign prince.

"Do you have like, your own armory?" One with blue hair asked, bloodlust shining in her eyes.

"I think my family does. I don't really like fighting though. I prefer reading."

The questions continued for the rest of the night. Somehow it was actually fun.

And before he knew it, he was on the stairs of the host's house, staring up at the stars with VINCENT. Just nonsensical chatter.

"What kind of books do you like to read?" VINCENT asked.

"Mostly fairy tales."

"Oh yeah, I like those too. Heros killing dragons. They are so cool.

"m hm. I d'know, I just- they make sense, y'know? Like with people, I have to take up so much effort just to look normal. With eye contact and what you're apparently supposed to act like, and when you want to move around but you're not supposed to because 'you look like a child' and I just.. fairy tales are just easy, I guess. There's a good guy and a bad guy and that's it. Sometimes I wish people were that easy..." Frederick didn't quite know why he was spilling his guts to some random from a party, but he was too tired to fight it.

"Yeah, I get it. People can be stupid sometimes, but isn't the complicated stuff worth it? To have friends and family that help you with things, and that you help with things? I think my friends are worth it, at least. Plus, I don't care if you look 'childish'" VINCENT said it in the stupidest voice he could, making Frederick laugh.

It was proceeded by a smile. A smile so small that VINCENT doubted anyone else would notice. And yet, his smile was practically as bright as the sun.

They sat silently for a moment, Frederick letting VINCENT'S words sink in.

"So, what kingdom are you from? I never got to ask you."

"Oh, I'm from- uh-" VINCENT decided to just go with honesty this time. "Pastel."

"Oh, my fiance's from there actually." Just thinking about her made Frederick smile.

"You're getting married? Are you like, way older than you look or what?"

"No, I'm 17. It's like, an arranged marriage thing."

"I.. oh." VINCENT didn't like the implications but he figured if Frederick was happy it was probably fine.. maybe.

"Her name is Gwen. She's really nice and makes really good food and I just.. I was super scared of her at first, but she's the greatest."

"You were scared of her and the made you marry her anyway?"

"I- yeah?" Frederick responded "She was the nicest person ever to me, and I just assumed she was evil because her looks creeped me out. I was just being dramatic."

VINCENT didn't respond to that. Frederick looked over to him, and he had a look that seemed like a mix of concern and contemplation.

"Hey Frederick, how would you like to be my minion?" VINCENT stuck his hand out with confidence.

"I, uhm.." Frederick felt worried, to say the least. He never had liked the idea of being evil but.. he felt like he could trust this guy. "Screw it, sure." Frederick shook the man's hand.

VINCENT excitedly sprang up onto his feet, Frederick hurriedly following. "Okay, okay, we need a bad guy name for you! Uhm, let's see.. you like dragons, and fairy tales.. dragons, fairy tales... Hey kid, what's your favorite book?"

"Uhm, The Little Prince" Frederick responded almost by reflex.

"Like a dragon.. prince.. dragon prince? Dragon... Heart! Dragon heart! What do you think?"

"Uhm, sure?" Frederick said, rather flustered by the set of words crammed into his brain so fast. In hindsight it didn't fit him very well.

VINCENT quickly reintroduced his Minions to Frederick, this time by their minion names. He reintroduced Frederick to them too, this time by Dragon Heart, with an enthusiasm that reminded him of Lance.

"Yo, Dragon Heart, we were all planning on hanging out and getting pizza after this party. You wanna come? There'll be soda..." Flamethrower drew out the word temptingly, like trying to draw an animal out of a den with treats.

"I don't think my father would let me. I'm not even supposed to be at this party.."

"What's your dad gonna do, no pony for a week?" Flamethrower said, jokingly but no condescendingly.

"My father can do a lot of things..." Frederick looked away uncomfortably. Flamethrower frowned and look at his boss. His boss nodded.

"Well," Molly said, quickly picking up on the situation "if you weren't supposed to be here anyways, than your dad's gonna punish you either way, right? Will it really be that much worse if you go to a friend's house too?"

"I guess not.. wait friend-"

"Than let's go! Woop woop!" Dark Star called out, practically dragging Frederick out the door. Before he could process what just happened he was in a car, probably Flamethrower's given how embarrassing the driver was being about him, that was definitely not meant to fit this many people.

Upon seeing Frederick, she smiled more like a cute little auntie and less like the mother than Flamethrower was calling her by.

"Aww, does my little boy have another friend?" Pinched Frederick's cheek. "And what your name?"

"Moooom stop!" Flamethrower tried to pry his mother off, but it was in vain.

"Uhm, it's-"

"Flamethrower's mom, this is our newest minion- ow" VINCENT attempted to stand up in a grand introduction but bumped his head on the top of the car "Dragon Heart!"

"Aren't you just a cute patooty!"

"Moooom" Flamethrower groaned again."

"Now, bring us to your house! We have to revel in our evilness!"

"Alright then. Buckle up everyone."

For the whole way, the entire evil team, bar Frederick, laughed evily. Even Bear Trap, but it ended up sounding more cute than evil.

And following that was a night of reveling in their evilness. Aka screwing each other over in video games.

Frederick proved that he was extraordinary gifted at Mario Cart, to the despair of everyone else.

"Beginner's luck finally running out, eh Freddy?" Said the one with purple hair and a star pin as Frederick slipped into the lower places.

"Maybe.." Frederick hadn't been better than anyone at anything before, so he was milking this for all it was worth.

So, when Frederick slipped into last place and got a blue shell, he grinned and hung onto it. He hung on until Flamethrower was just about to win first.. and then bam!

"Noooooooooooo!"

"Bwah ha ha ha ha ha!" Frederick belted out the best evil laugh he could, reveling in the screams of his fallen foe. Flamethrower had beaten him by a hair last game, and this was Frederick's revenge for all the gloating.

Silently, while Frederick wasn't looking, he fist bumped with a few other members at finally getting him to put the act down.

A few more games of getting absolutely rekt by Frederick later, VINCENT held up a phone.

"Behold, my loyal minions! I'm ordering pizza!" The theater voice dropped. "Who wants some?"

A few minions said yes, a few were too full of chips and soda from the party from earlier.

"Uhm, sure." Frederick said quietly. "I haven't had it before, so..."

The room went quite. For a moment Frederick panicked. Did he say something wrong!? Did he do something wrong!? Were they gonna-

The group all mourned for Frederick.

"If this is the cost of royalty than I wanna stay a commoner!" One yelled.

"We are getting you pizza if it's the last thing we do." Molly said, oddly serious.

Frederick ended up liking pizza. It didn't hold a candle to what Gwen could make, but he'd take this over crappy breakfast bagels any day.

And when Frederick finally fell asleep to a movie on the couch, Giovanni tucked him in, and for once Frederick didn't have a single nightmare. Just dreams of a bunch of stars taking in a little prince.

#cursed princess club #epithet erased #crossover fic #for the two people that know both these fandoms #im one of them

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