trying to get less nervous about posting my art on here. heres some ghibli screenshot redraws

batch 2

oc autsim? (gentle skies phantoms awakkening GHOST EYES OCS????????????? ocs dfor any other fandom omori ocs)

ok look. i can barely autism about anything relating my ocs because i made them. icannot psychically feel inlove about them like other peoples characters.

ok now im allowed to autism about them now. okokok hear me out i know that gentle skies is the most well loved and cared about story and thats for good reason! id love to make make a full blown comic about it one day :3 but i really want to write the story 1st to be able to get feed back on the story and make sure i dont portray mental illness + abuse in an insensitive way. specifically i need to not make any excuses for cloud since i know hes my favorite character :(( though i need to do a lot of research on schizophrenia and narcissism. the othe mental illness will be partly from my personal experiences (since i do have them) but ill still research other perspectives. ough i just love cameron too!! i love making silly brat characters with fucked up views on love (compliments of cloud of course!) literally every characters trauma circles back to cloud. i think i could autism about cloud because of how fucked up i made him. honestly i made him like this before i even read ghost eyes but of course now that I've read it and found out so much about it he very much reminds me of ben. ive been writing cloud pretty similarly to him and hes a good reference to a bad person that gets no redemption imo. as for raymond godddd i dont know hes like maybe one of the most trauma heavy character ive ever made and at first it was in poor taste and i feel like i wouldnt have portrayed it correctly. god i need to do so much research for him. like i love ray trust me hes just a little yoinky sploinky. SOOOO actaully like hes basically like my best character next to cloud god i love him so much omgogm im not THAT proud about his story + design but of course i could always change and fix him (though his dead mother will always be apart of him <333333 his supposed to even reassemble him for purposes i wish not to elaborate on currently :3) OH FUCK DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE ENTIRE DYNAMIC THOSE FUCKERS HAVE oh boy i have such a thing for exploring abusive relationships this might be because i myself have been in a few!! personally the healing part is meant to be the last part though writing that is gonna be the hardest thing ill have to do since healing from relationships like specifically cloud and raymond is one of the hardest things some people go through. BUT ALL TYPES OF ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS ARE HORRIBLE AND IM SUPER AWARE OF THAT!! ermmmm ok yeah brain empty can talk about gentle skies anymore :33

OK PHANTOMS AWAKENING. ohhhmymmyy god donot get me started I LOVE THE PHANTOMS SO MUCHHHHH THEYRE THE SILLIES!! ok so like i specifically made luciel and veronica before the others!! luciel having the same story and veronica having something different!! veronicas 1st back story still had something to do with their lover killing them but instead of the poisoning. i think it was more like sirens current one. so like being murdered like. a stabbing, something more grotesque. i remember before i knew what to use them for back in 2018 it was canon that those two were dating in the afterlife. but nowadays they dont interact like that. something that i havent mentioned in the phantoms awakening is that the phantoms have markings that relate to their deaths. they have past designs but i obviously hate those a lot since i had no idea how to design characters back then, im not saying i can now but its atleast decent! after those two were made like in 2019 i made siren! she had the story that veronica currently has. i. dont.... know why i changed them but i think its because i love siren more that she got a better more dramatic death :3 after siren was made... SYNTHIA WAS MADEEEEE!!! my favorite phantom god shes just the best!!! she was made in the beginning of 2020 when fnf was popular i specifically remember that because they had a skid and pump shirt when i first made them (cringes and dies) synthia has had the same story her entire lifetime and i do not want to change it ever! i think the specific thing that curses them to being a phantom is the exact time and date they die. theyre all basically ghosts that arent happy with their deaths and are pissed with it in the end. none of them truly remember how they died but they all have unresolved issues, i think they all haunt junichi to make him find each of their deaths. i would talk about junichi but hes like. the worst character!! he has NO reason to be that pathetic!! i think he needs a redesign + a new story. this universe relates a little bit to gentle skies but like only like two characters from gentle skies appears in this

as for other fandoms i mostly have the death note ones (lavender, deshaun, eva, X, advil, blue and travis!!) but honestly! theres not much to say about them!! and then theres my one baldis basics oc (they were made in 2018 i will not take criticism) OHOH AND MY OLD UNDERTALE OCS (i have like 4 maybe? theyre all bad but i will keep them dear to my heart) andd that might be it!!

I DONT HAVE OCS FOR GHOST EYES OR OMORI IM SORRY

THANK U FOR LETTING ME AUTISM LINK THAT MEANS A LOT

My First Tag

Tagged by 2 surprisingly lol, thanks @honesthazbinarchives and @siaesnow - I’m honoured to be considered a buddy to you both ^^

“Starting up a Picrew tag game… you, but four years ago versus now! The purpose is to tag at least five to 15 users that you are friends with, and to create a tag chain of our character development!” ~ @goangelic

Picrew to use: https://picrew.me/image_maker/100365

Why is it always a sob story with me? Ok, jesting aside: Me 4 Years Ago: Without going too into depth, I was in hospital, extremely low and close to death. A few years prior, alongside what was already an uneasy life, I watched 2 very beloved people rot in hospital themselves. There was no one for me and I allowed myself to fall into disarray with matted hair and bones poking out my frame. Everything was such a fucking mess and yet these years are both horribly vivid and hazy. Like a thick fog of repression in my mind. Something I’m not yet willing to confront. Me 4 years ago, and 4 years prior to that is/was a delusional nightmare. Though I plan to tell my lil Kiddas/Squicks a funny ‘tale’ from 2012, it’s the year I wish to distance from the most.

Me Now: The same but ginger lol. Nah, I’ve made my improvements. And setbacks. I’m not as frail and mentally I feel more... It’s painful but I cope better. Therapy is still very much inaccessible to me sadly. Trying to grow as a person, but sometimes Im a grumpy tired lol. I learned of my place on the spectrum and have made my own steps to better understand and communicate more with other people. Im developing my hobbies. And I drink (mildly) in honour of a loved one. That year is still tender and I experience flashbacks and nightmares but I manage. I’m currently blamed for being a cat magnet as housing creatures in need lol. I want to show my little ones the world the way he showed me. Im trying to make good of what life I have. Still shy but I manage many things much better, though I’ve learned to accept where my soul truly stands. Im also now and open and accepted witch. Tomorrow will be hard and I have a long way to go. I take on a more active role in nurturing those around me. Though Ive improved greatly, I still feel something unsettling in the air around me. Also, there are seriously lots of cats drawn to and follow me. Seriously one of the neighbour’s cats even comes ‘round to visit me for hugs. Im the local cat lady. I feel like Susan Ashworth. Overall, I CAN confirm improvement as well as self-reflection. I’m not as toxic as I used to be. I can see and work on my own flaws. I’m far from being where I wish but I’m actively working towards that. Visualising and slowly getting there. I’m seeking to learn new skills and just enjoy my time. Plus my siblings seem to speak to me more and even steal my jokes so... I’m doin’ something right and must be funny enough for that lol. I also owned [’owned’] a large spider this year. She’s a wild giant house spider that lived under our window in a plant pot. Now I fear spiders [trying to get better as I love Ts] but I saw she had an eggsac. So I felt for the Mama spider and started to leave her food, even freeing her legs. Her babies have hatched and she’s moved out now but one of her babies has stayed so Im monitoring them until they choose to leave. I think I’ve become more brave with people, in my self in terms of animals, and just with dealing with shit. I get a bad panic attack now and usually it doesnt look obvious because... I just shrug and try to mentally soothe it [not easy but I try]. And I can ramble for ETERNITY on animals because I love them with my soul �� As for gambling, always done that LOL. I’m honestly proud that Ive never formed an addiction [aside from minor meds one as a kid, cravings for sugar/meat now and my absolute lust for orange juice lol]. I found out I am very durable. BONUS - Me In 4 Years Time:

I become some weeby cat bullshit lol jkjk British Shorthair Waifu? British Shorthair WaifMEW - but seriously you can tint your skin faintly blue by consuming enough blue smarties [brit choc] and Im gonna bloody do it. Make me look like those Avatar alien folks. Tagging... Fuck, I dont really know too many here like that- Especially untagged O.o Ermmmm I hope yall dont mind? @noirellearts, @rootbeergoddess​, @enchantedchocolatebars​ [Sorry if I forgot anyone, I’m extremely slow with name recollection]