when i get excited like over star trek and stuff and feel like such a lame weird pathetic idiot (what kinda freak squeals and nuzzles and kisses their phone while looking at pictures of a character from a bad 60s scifi show, anyway?) pretty much the only thing that gets me through it without feeling like shit is imagining that someone out there (read: f/os) would get happy from seeing me so genuinely happy and excited about something. esp cause i dont get that way about a lot of stuff anymore, so like. Maybe Perhaps My F/os Who Love Me Would Find Joy In Seeing Me Happy About Stuff. maybe.