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little-dragon-stories · 5 years

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Before I leave Part 19

Home

A fake Text and scenarios serie featuring Kwon Jiyong himself.

After your sister died, you decided to move in Korea to get close to your niece and nephew. That’s where you meet Kwon Jiyong, get to work for him and start to believe hapiness is possible again…

Warning: angst, not a cute part.

WC: 2360

Note: You have no idea how many times I have rewritten this part, I lost count myself. 10? 13 times? I tried my best to make things differently but at the end of the day, this is the only way I could write it. You will see what I mean when you read it. Please don’t hate me...

As the days to the premiere went by Jiyong was home less often, he was working like crazy to prepare Motte act iii, his personal project. He wanted to present his true self to his fans, who he believes he really is as a person, put more integrity into his music.

Because he presented himself as Kwon Jiyong instead of G Dragon, he wanted to be involved in every detail, every decision, every little thing related to the show. From the decor to the costumes, passing by the choreography and music arrangements, he was the one who has the last word. For him, Motte act iii was more than just a show with choreographies and music, it was all about presenting himself «naked» to his fans.

You wouldn’t want to change that, the fact he was working so hard, even though you wish he could rest a little more. To be completely honest, you were proud of him, proud of the involvement he made and how much he was putting his heart into the project.

Every time you were going to the practices, you were impressed by how much he is hard-working and how beautiful he is when he sing and dance. He was leading everybody in a calm atmosphere, never elevating his voice, but being listened to nevertheless. Sometimes, you could see he was losing patience, but surprisingly he always managed to speak with a neutral voice. Every time you came to see him practice, you fell in love a little more with the man, with the artist.

Coming home with him after a long day at work was always your favorite part of the day. The part when Jiyong would finally lean against you, close his eyes and leave all the worries behind. Even though he was tired and stressed, he was always calm, caring, soft and peaceful im your presence.

You could tell he has a lot of responsibilities as the leader of his group, as a solo artist and as the president of a clothing company. You don’t know how he is doing it but normally, as soon as he’s at home, he completely turns his responsibility switch to off, he forgets about everything and manage to be with you, in the present moment. He is happy, he is making projects with you, he is completely devoted to your couple. Well, normally he can do it, tonight thought, it’s different. Tonight he speaks fast as you are transported to his place, he is nervous, he has dark circles beneath his eyes.

You came home later than usual so you went to take a quick shower one after the other, brush your teeth, made your evening routine.

“Ji… may I ask you something?” You asked him while both of you were preparing yourself to bed.

“You know you always can baby” he said with his sweet, calm and soothing voice, that voice that you love so much. You could hear him speak for years, you would never get enough of it.

When you looked at him, sitting upright with his legs stretched out in front of him, shirtless in only his boxers, your heart melted. That vision of him, in that very position was one you kept seeing night after night for a few months now, and he never looked that beautiful. There is a vulnerability on his face tonight, a lack of confidence, maybe even some self-doubt, you will have to investigate that tomorrow. His face is beautiful as his head is leaning back on the pillow. You consider yourself so lucky to be the one he sees as his, the person he is in love with. He never made you doubt his love, his involvement in your relationship and you are overwhelmed by that, the fact he trusts you, the patience and the tenderness he has toward you.

Tonight, you don’t want to investigate, you have something else in your mind. Tonight, you would like him to forget everything, you want him to found a relief in you but different than usual.

You jumped on the and glued yourself against him, half of your body on his. Has always, he rubbed his nose on your hairs and caress them gently. You lift your chin up to look at him, when he feels your gaze on him, he smiled and keeping his eyes closed he said:

«What’s your question my love?»

“Jiyong, I want you to know that you are perfect”, saying that, you gave him a few little kisses on his jaw.

“Oh baby, that is random and it’s not a question” he said laughing.

Even though you were stuck to him, you were not close enough, you needed more contact. Not losing another second, craving for a contact you were more than ready to have, you raise yourself on your knees, step over his legs and sit directly on him, straddling him. He opened his eyes, surprised but didn’t say anything.

You were never in such an intimate position with him but you still felt not close enough so you managed to unfold your knees and cross your legs behind his waist, sitting directly on him. His eyes opened wide and he said,

“Woooah! What’s going on?”

You smiled at his uncertain expression.

“Well, well, well my baby dragon. Wanna know what my question was?”

He just nodded and looked at you in the eyes, still not wondering what’s going on with you tonight.

"I would like to know if you are ready for us baby, would you like tonight to be our first night together?”

He is not 100% sure about your intentions, so he asks, raising an eyebrow:

“We had plenty of nights together, it’s not our first and it won’t be our last. Something specific you have in mind?”.

“Kwon Jiyong, I want to have sex with you. Forget what I said. I want to make love with you, I want to feel free, I want you to feel good, I want you. Before you ask me, I am 200% sure this is what I want.»

He didn’t move at all while you started to kiss him just behind his right ear.

«Please, make love to me”.

You were feeling him under you, you knew he was aroused too, but he took the time to ask:

“Listen love, normally, you don’t want me to touch you, I mean, we could do a lot of stuff before that… are you sure about this?”

“Jiyong, I want it. I trust you with all my heart and soul. Please, don’t refuse me that, I think my ego wouldn’t survive” you said, on the verge of crying because you thought he was gonna say no.

“I will never refuse you that my love, I’ve been waiting you, longing for you for such a long time, I just wanted to make sure I understood correctly, my little wild cat”

You laughed and peck his nose, his lips. The way he is looking at you with his eyes wide open, the hope you can see in his eyes, touched your heart. Without any warning, you took off your nightdress being only in your panties and leaned forward to kiss him but this time, it was not a simple peck but a long, passionate kiss that you shared.

He was not close enough for you so you adjust your hips to make sure there were no more space between you, only a thin piece of fabric. You broke the kiss, looked at him in the eyes and smiled before leaning over him again to kiss his neck. He doesn't say a word, too scared to ruin the moment. He let you kissed his neck, chest, shoulders, arms… but when he felt your hips rubbing against his, he grabbed you by the waist to hold you still and said :

“I knew you would like sex, I told you”

He was proud, smiling widely.

“Well, it ain’t really sex yet….”

“Baby, you were rubbing yourself against me and you moaned… it means you liked it”

“Really? I did that? I didn’t realise”. You were so happy, he was right. For the first time ever, you were feeling good in the presence of somebody else.

You start to kiss him again, that mouth, those lips that you could never get enough of. He let go of your waist and very softly grabbed your breast, just like if you were made of the most precious porcelain. He didn’t ask permission, he was feeling you, knowing you were completely into it.

Then, he reversed your positions, finding himself between your legs, on top but without putting its weight on you. He looked into your eyes, to see if you were still comfortable with it, but he didn’t have to ask, your legs were immediately curling up around his waist while your arms were pulling him closer.

“You tell me if you want me to stop. I am serious”.

“Ok”

“Y/n, please, listen”

He was trying to get away from your kisses but you were determined, more confident than ever that you want him. You want to make one with him but most of all, you want to be able to make love with him. You want to be a normal girlfriend for that magnificent man, the man that deserve everything that is good in this world.

You looked into his eyes. At this point, he seems more nervous than you.

“Y/n, I am serious. I can stop anytime in the process”.

But you kept kissing his lips, teasing him with your tongue. You were never acting seductively like that with him.

“Jiyong, shut up please. I will start to believe that you don’t want me”.

You were trying to say the good thing for him not to feel nervous.

“Show me how you love me, please. I need it right now. I need you and I want you to feel good as well”.

“I will but for now, I think you're going too fast baby, I want to take my time with you”.

He did take his time with you. He kissed you from head to toes, made sure you had fun at least once before diving in completely, he didn’t want you to touch him at all, saying that if you lay a hand on his skin, he would enjoy it too fast. So you obey him and let him take care of you.

«Baby, I can’t hold it anymore. Can I… But we can also save it for another night, I am already glad you let me touch you this way, there’s no need to go further». He asks releasing the hair from your face with his hands.

«Yes Ji, you can, I am ready too». But the real truth is, you were not so sure anymore that you wanted it but there was no way in hell you would make him stop at this point, you want him to enjoy this night as well, you know there are many other way to make him feel good but you don’t want to disappoint him, you don’t want to disappoint yourself. You made sure to keep a relaxed and smiling face, keeping your body as relax as possible and you add:

«Ji, my baby dragon, I am ready». He smiled.

«Good, I love you so much...»

He was looking into your eyes when he penetrated you, he wanted to make sure you were feeling good as he was sliding himself inside of you. There were no need to look at your face thought, the second he deepened his movement, you felt a sharp and burning pain inside of your womanhood. Sadly, the memories of that night came to haunt you at the worst moment ever.

He freezed immediately, staying in place and said:

«Y/n my love, open your eyes, it’s me, I won’t move for a second, let’s take a moment to adjust, breathe my love, it will be better soon».

But you didn’t see things like that and you started to hit him and push him away from you, panicking. Things went really fast, he was no longer inside of you but you kept hitting him and yelling at him.

Jiyong was petrified. He didn’t know what to do at all. If he takes you in his arms, you might take it the wrong way and feel attacked and this is the last thing that he wants. In the other hand, he wants to help you. He did the only thing that came into his mind, he talked, making sure he was not touching you at all. You always told him how much you love his voice, it’s even one of the fist thing that you told him.

«Baby, it’s me. You are safe. I am so sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you like that. I really thought for the best. I thought you were ready. Well, your body was ready from what I know... but your mind was not obviously».

«I know it’s you, I am the one who is sorry». You said, crying.

«Baby, what happened?»

«I don’t want to talk about it, I want to go home».

«Y/n, I can’t let you go home like that, we need to talk, we need to hug, otherwise I think you will start to be scared of me»

«We’ll talk later».

You were already standing up, putting back your clothes.

«No, please, don’t go, we need to talk about this. Love, your mind was not ready. I am sorry. I am so so so sorry…. I shouldn’t have done that at all. I am so sorry, don’t go. Stay with me».

«Kwon Jiyong, you can’t tell me what to do. I want to go home and I will. We will talk later».

«You push me away but you shouldn't, you should stay with me. I understand and I am not mad at you Y/n».

You were already putting your shoes on.

«See you Jiyong. I am going home, no need to call your driver, I will take a cab on the corner of the street».

«Baby please…. Please stay here. We will fix this. Why do I have the feeling that I am losing you, I need you, I love you, we will ...»

«Good bye Jiyong» you interrupted him coldly.

He had no choice but to let you go.

What he didn’t know is that for you, in that very moment, home meant in your home country.

#kwon jiyong #kwon jiyong fake text #kwon jiyong fluff #kwon jiyong angst #kwon leader #gdragon #gdragon x reader #gdragon serie #kwon jiyong serie #Kwon Jiyong scenario #g dragon x you #bigbang serie #bigbang scenario

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natasha-talks · 3 years

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The Relapse-

4th August 2021; Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

This is something that is so difficult for me to do. I don't even know how to construct a full sentence. I couldn't find the right word to describe what i'm feeling. Like a baby, who is not able to talk trying to tell her parents that she is in absolute pain - She cries.

I've been feeling this for about a month, i would say. But i kept on being in denial because i've been told so many times that everything is fine to a point i thought i was overthinking. But i'm turning 23 in 6 days and no, my intuitions are always right. Always.

Yesterday, the man that i love most finally said that it's not going to work out. It didn't kill me but something inside me died. It felt like someone poured salts all over your wounds. It was too painful because he gave up on us while i'm still here trying to understand and fix things. I was not sad that he's going to leave me because i understand that this ain't just about me, it's about him too. His feelings matter. But it killed me when he started disrespecting me with "What the hell?" "What the hell is wrong with you?" "Shhhhhhhit" and the list goes on. I have always looked up to him as someone who is mature but yesterday, i felt like i was talking to a different person. It's like i have never known him. I saw the look in his eyes and the only thing i could see was.. nothing. He looked at me as if i am the most horrible person in this world. But i let it slide because i know that he's been dealing with things and i really thought that i've been there for him but the truth is, i am stupid for thinking he would actually notice and appreciate the little things i've done for him when i have actually saw numerous signs that he's not that type. From the things he said about himself to the things he said about other people. It made me realise yesterday that it is a narcissistic behavior. But somehow, it still didn't change the amount of love that i have for him. Because i saw it. I saw it from the very beginning but i still chose him. I chose him, fully and i knew what i was signing up for.

He said that it's me. I am flawed, i know but it's not like i don't want to try and make things better. I kept on asking but i guess, that will never be enough. He said I treated him poorly by not giving comfort. I have told him to teach how he wanted it to be because my way of comforting is different and i have never dealt with people saying that i'm not a good listener or good at giving comfort. But yea, there are so many things that i've done but it will never be seen. I knew it for quite some time and yesterday, he proved me right again. It's when i said i do understand but he quickly cut me off by saying i don't and gave an example. You see, he would focus on the flaws instead of the good things i've done. He didn't notice that talking to him is like having to walk on eggshells. But i'm not complaining, i have never complained because again, i knew what i was signing up for and i love him still up until this very moment and i think i will always love him no matter what he puts me through because i really really let down my walls for this man when i have actually promised myself not to be with anyone. I even brought him back home to meet my parents. My mom was the one who told him that he's the first because i have never been that type.

Yesterday made me realise that he said everything is about me. At first, i almost fell for that but while i was busy crying, it actually made me realise that this relationship was not about me or us. It's about him. When he asked me what did i want him to do for me, i said "Im just looking for respect in this relationship" and he said he wants comfort and peace. He started listing out other things too. If i were to ask, there are so many things that i wanted but i never did because i really really accept him for the way he is. He never gave me comfort, it's always "It's okay, i'm here. We'll get through this together" -- I'm not complaining by the way. The comfort that i need is advise, is for someone to guide me when i'm wrong and have a discussion about it. But again, i have never complained. Whatever that he gave me, i accepted it and i do appreciate it. But it's sad. It's really sad that it's not the same for him.

He told me yesterday that i couldn't let go of my past. To be honest, i have never cared about the people from my past. He told me many times that its a new book and i started to view things differently. I started posting throwbacks when i saw it coming. One of my ways of coping to look back and remind myself that it's possible for me to be happy. Those were all me at my best and how i dealt with things. It got nothing to do about me wanting to be the old Natasha. Because the current Natasha is the one who made it through. Who has been clean for a year and a half. I am proud of her even when nobody else does because i know i did this on my own - of course, with the help of my friends and my extended family members. Arwah atuk left me last Ramadhan and my world changed. It felt like 2018 again. I miss him. I really really do because he gave me comfort that i couldn't have. A person that i can be vulnerable with without having the fear of being judged. But he's gone for good.

He told me yesterday that when things didn't go my way about the pasta panas, i started acting poorly. That was the first argument we had. He's not wrong, i did act poorly even when i know it's not his fault. I know he wants to put me on the good side. But that day, it really broke me because he actually said that he missed me, for the first time the day before and i was so excited to see him. It was never 100% about pasta panas? It's just me wanting to show him that i miss him too. I apologised but he brought it up again yesterday. He brought up so many things to a point i questioned myself, was he lying this whole time? Because he told me he forgave me and it's important to learn and grow.

That's the word. I want to grow and i know that i can always grow alone because i've been there, done that. But i chose to grow with this man because i may not know how to show it according to him, i love him with all of me. It hurts me soooooooooooo bad knowing that he's hurt. Because i never wanted to hurt him. That's why i kept my distance when we first started talking because i knew that i was not healed. I took my time to heal and i came back when i was ready even when i thought he was seeing someone else because of the story he posted. But i tried. I could have always date someone else but the reason why i chose him, it's not only because i thought he's smart. It's because i really prayed for signs and then 27th January came. Things didn't go like how we both expected but yea, i have never stopped praying and it's always him. The signs, it's always leading back to him.

Yesterday, it was the day when i cried the hardest because it was painful. Too painful even when i know i can always get over it but i have no idea, why.. it's painful. From 12pm i was crying over the phone with Danish because i knew somethings not right but he left me in the dark and i couldn't stand wondering what did i do. I couldn't talk to him because he made himself unavailable. Even when he's available, he would say that things were okay. It was never fair. Not for me and for anyone who was put in that situation. I could have done it to him a lot of times but never once it came across my mind to do that to him. I know i mentioned about red flags at the beginning of this post-- "You know it's going to hurt you so bad right when this relationship is over?", he's right. It will hurt me because i love him more but it's never right to say that as if i am not capable of fighting it. Plus, i've been through everything. It will hurt me like hell if this relationship is over but i hope Allah will give me the strength if the day comes. Nauzubillah min zalik. Something that i don't ever want to face is the day that i know it's not going to work out.

Yesterday, i have never prayed hard for things to go back the way it used to be or for things to get way better for the both us. I have never cried to a point i couldn't close my eyes because it's going to hurt my head so much and it felt like my eyes were burning but after an hour of struggling to sleep, i finally slept and i accidentally woke up at 1.52am. I tried sleeping back but i couldn't and at 2.05am, i decided to perform solat tahajjud. I googled how to perform solat tahajjud and i did it. It was my first solat tahajjud. I forgot to mention that, Asr, Maghrib, Isya' and tahajjud, i couldn't control my emotions because of the Kaaba on my praying mat, it reminded me of him. He planned to take me there with him after our nikah. He wants to perform umrah and Hajj with me as a husband and wife. I couldn’t help it. I felt so weak.

My last sujood for Subuh, i poured my heart out to Him. I was shaking, i couldn’t control my emotions. All the prayers i made yesterday, it was all just for us. Not for me, just us. I really really want this to work out and i know that only He can change this. I poured my heart out on the praying mat for Him to soften both of our hearts, for Him to shower us with comfort and peace, for Him to protect us from the evil eye, shaytan, iblis, humans and unwanted diseases, for Him to ease our journey and bless our relationship as we want to make this halal, for Him to shower us with endless rizq and success, for Him to make us a better Muslim, for Him to protect us from the hellfire and place us in the highest rank of Jannah. The rest, it’s between me and Him. I prayed really hard for this.

But hey! Look on the bright side, i performed my first tahajjud. While i was crying to Him, a thought came to me.. Maybe this is a way for Him to remind me that He can give everything that i need, something that i’ve been praying for and He can also take everything away from me in a blink of an eye if i do not practice myself as a good Muslim. Maybe this is a test for me and for him for us to grow stronger and wiser. Suddenly, there’s a voice inside my head telling me to have patience because this is shaytan’s doing. They do know that we want to make things halal and that’s something that they hate so they have made a promise to create chaos in our heads and turn us against each other, in the end, everything will be ruined. I am a firm believer that Allah is the only Protector and He will protect us from all of these.

This test is not only to test our faith but it is also to test our patience. I almost gave up but i did not. No matter what he puts me through, i signed up for this and after all the things we’ve been through, i still choose to look at him the same way as i did at the very beginning. He hurt me but it doesn’t that he’s the only one. I hurt him too and i wish to stop, that’s why i kept on asking in order to make this work. Leaving was never an option for me because no matter what, i don’t want to make it a habit because this habit, it will be carried until marriage. When things get rough, you fix and work together against it, not leave. What will happen to the kids if we are unable to control our emotions? I am tired of always being the bigger person and still, not be seen because i do realise that i am surrounded by so many people with a slight narcissistic attitude or worst, some are just purely narcissists.

For this man, he’s not. I don’t blame him. I’ve been telling myself that maybe he is so used to being in a bubble where all of the people around him would always make him feel good and he would always feel like he needs to be good. Maybe i’m wrong and this will probably offend him but i don’t sugar coat things to make someone feel good. But that’s the thing, your partner shouldn’t be the kind of person who needs to always sugar coat things, your partner should be the one who would remind you and slap you with reality. You will never grow if you’re so comfortable not having people going against you, you will never grow if you cannot accept opinions and only want the things that you want without thinking about other people. Relationships should be about two people compromising. I used to do that to people and at the end, they felt so powerful and they threw me away as if i was nothing because they thought they could get everything. Oh by the way, i’m not comparing. He’s not even in the category to be compared with. He told me that i need to do a lot of learning and i admit that but i think he needs it too because the he projects his issues, that’s not the way it should be. Those words, the way he listens- defensive listening, the body language and so many more. It’s a learning process.

5.07pm; I stopped crying because i know that this is what the shaytan would be so happy about. Filled myself with rage, sadness and thoughts i shouldn’t have. But i know i’ve been here for too many times and it is so stupid of me if i would react the same way. I’ve learned a lot and i won’t repeat the same mistakes again.

For now, i’m counting days until Allah grants all of my prayers about us.

I miss him but i respect his space. I know he’s okay without me, this is test for me to fight alone.

Lots of love,

NNS.

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jamesmoore · 4 years

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f2f || campbell and james

Various conversations from different days between James and @campbellrclarington, most of them f2f and none of them labeled either way.

James: You're still here; I'm glad to see you didn't run off like Cinderella, though it would be appropriate timing with the musical, hmm? How did you sleep? And do you like eggs?

Campbell: Clearly. I’d considered it heavily, though ultimately decided there wasn’t a point. Eggs?

James: Good, you're right about there not being a point. You can sleep here with me, you can sleep alone, either way you're in the same boat. Just because you're only here for my dick, doesn't mean you have to vacate, and I prefer the company anyway. Besides, you have to be aware that I'd have been the one left feeling shitty if you left before I could make sure you were okay after last night. Aftercare, and all. Eggs, yeah. From chickens. I'm making breakfast.

Campbell: I don’t sleep well regardless, so you’re correct about that as well. Good. You’re aware. Do you? Interesting. I know what an egg is, thank you. I’m not completely useless.

James: I never said you were useless, I was teasing. I found plenty of uses for you last night, for sure. I do. And we both know about the aftercare stuff, we both know it's rude as fuck to not even bother checking in afterwards. You know I'm the tutor, you had to know I would be this nerdy about it. So breakfast. I can also make waffles.

Campbell: I never said you did either, I was simply making a statement. You did, interestingly enough. Part of me wants to ask why you agreed to this, though I suppose that much is obvious. Rude as fuck is the least of my concerns at the moment, frankly I’d have expected it given the rate things are going. I’m fine. If you need or want something from me, let me know. I’m not hungry, thank you.

James: I like sex, plain and simple. I wasn't about to say no. I'd say we had a good time too. You can expect it all you want, but at the very least I am responsible. I'm not looking to steal your heart and romance you, but I'm not going to just use you and toss you aside either. So get used to that, if you plan on coming back for more. You are fine, true, but I think we're stuck on different definitions. Oh yeah? So what about coffee? Water? A shower?

Campbell: I find your honesty refreshing, on a few different levels. More people should be that honest. About who they are, and what they’re after. The world might be better if that were the case. Might be. I may. Oh? Is that so? Im not a big eater. Look at you, if I had the energy I’d be impressed. Trying to go for round 15, are you?

James: You're right about that, I agree. Believe it or not, you're not the only one to experience that-- and I'm not trying to be an ass, I'm teasing you again. Do you want to talk about it? You should. I'd like it if you did. No need to be impressed, I'll be full of myself enough for the both of us. Trying to replenish your energy, and make sure that you're feeling alright physically. But round 15 would be fun too.

Campbell: What is there to talk about? Life screws you harder than any dick ever could. I can see that. Physically I’m fine, don’t worry about that. Maybe it would be

James: You'll probably be surprised, but I agree. Especially when you involve other people. Especially when you're real with them. Aside from physically though? And I wouldn't say you're 100% on the physical side if you're not eating. You can hang here today, if you want. We can alternate between fucking, witty banter, and watching tv or something.

Campbell: Always a treat, meeting a cynic. That’s...True. I’m really starting to realize that more than I had, too. Which is saying something, truly. It’s apparent that others only complicate things. Maybe being alone is the best option, overall. Doesn’t matter. And, that’s ongoing and I’m still here. So, maybe it’s better than you think. Are you that eager for company? We could.

---------------------

Campbell: What are you doing?

James: Staring at information. What about you?

Campbell: Staring at the ceiling.

James: So it sounds like we have two options; either I come over there or you come over here. Do you want to help me pick the next topic I talk to the walls about on the dash or should I head over there?

Campbell: I can come to you.

Thank you for last night.

James: Alright. I'll leave my door open for you. You don't have to thank me, I got just as much out of it. I meant it, I like being around you. How are you feeling?

Campbell: Thank you.

I do. Even if you did get something out of it, you didn't have to do it. Just like you didn't have to do any of the million other things you've done. But you did them anyway. And I'm not sure why, or what to make of it. Why you've done everything you have for me. Why you like being around me. I don't know how I'm feeling. How are you feeling?

-----------

James: Have I told you yet how nice it's been to have you here with me? I know right now I'm a boring nerd with my nose stuck in a book.

Is there anything you're interested in me going into on the dash? Information wise?

Campbell: Oh, thanks. That’s...Nice. You’re fine. I get it. I’m not exactly entertaining.

I would say you could talk more about bondage, but you don’t want to step on Cooper’s toes. Then again, it isn’t as though he’s providing much information himself.

Whatever you want, ultimately.

James: You are though. Entertaining.

I was thinking the same thing, honestly. I actually have the list of classes we teach currently because I was going to both tell people why they should enroll and give some info on each class. Like how Lorelai showed people why they should take human anatomy and has also taught some information. I could start with bondage. Maybe if I get too far into it, like displays, I could disguise it as stuff for BDSM Performance Art club. Would you let me tie you up, if I did?

Campbell: Im entertaining, or my vagina and my tits are entertaining?

Sounds like a good plan. You should still do that. Maybe people want to expand what they’re taking. Me? I mean...I suppose.

James: Do you think you're not entertaining because I'm still working while you're here? We do more together than have sex, Campbell. I like to think we have entertaining conversations. Even now, while I'm working.

Alright, I will. It sounds like a good idea. Yeah, you. You suppose or you would enjoy yourself?

Campbell: I didn’t say that. I realize that, James. I’m not saying we don’t.

I’m not sure. It would be different.

James: I'm just asking. I think you are entertaining. Among other things.

We could try it in private first. Or you could tie me up.

Campbell: Thank you for clarifying. What things?

That works. It’s fine. You can do me.

-------------------------

Campbell: That photo...

James: Mhm. I thought you might notice that. Are you okay with it?

Campbell: I am. Yeah.

That post. Those words.

James: I mean it. I didn't post that on accident or without thinking about it.

Campbell: .....

What are you saying, James?

James: That I'm not stupid or cowardly enough to not consider your feelings; that I wouldn't see you again and again, with or without sex, if I wasn't going to be here for what that might do to you. I know you think I'm going to ditch out on you. That it's inevitable. That I won't care about how you feel about it.

Campbell: Thank you. For that. Then.

Does it bother you that I think that? Not even that I think it, but that I have to prepare for it?

James: You don't have to thank me. I'm also aware that now I've said something out loud, put words to the pictures I post of us. I know I hadn't before.

No. Would it bother you if I said I feel the same? There's a reason I understand you so well.

Campbell: You hadn’t. My brother may blow a gasket.

No. I figured you did.

I won’t do that. I won’t.

James: Let him. I can handle it. I only care about you. What you think.

It's a long, mind-blowing story with secret identities and hidden motives. Not that interesting.

I hope not. I don't want you to. I know you've been through it too. I don't think you would. If I did, I wouldn't have said what I said out loud. I would have kept it to myself. Maybe put it in a cute little pinterest board.

Campbell: That’s....Really fucking hot.

Sounds like it, definitely. Maybe we’ll find a day so lackluster, we’ll have to talk about it.

It seems hypocritical, but you can trust me. I don’t want to. I won’t. Aren’t you just hysterical?

You don’t want me to leave. I don’t want to leave.

James: Hot is my specialty.

Maybe. I think I might actually tell you. Nobody else here knows.

I'm trying. I want to. I want you to trust me too. Oh yeah, I'm the funniest. Then don't leave, sounds like the right plan. I won't leave either. I don't want to.

Campbell: One of them.

You can if you’d like. You know I’ll keep it to myself.

I know that. I get it. I’m trying. Maybe I do though- more than you think. Good. So then...We won’t.

It’s....If neither of us are leaving....We’d just be together forever.

James: Can't forget being nerdy.

I do. I trust you on that. It all just boils down to people using me. It's all I really know as far as long term relationships.

Good. I'm here to help. I'm glad that you do. We won't. I'd like that, you know. I can't see myself getting enough of you.

Campbell: True, but that's still only one more item on a long list.

That's terrible. I'm sorry, James, for what that's worth. I've said it before- people suck. But, you deserve better. I can see that.

You always are. Are you sure about that? People say things, make promises...It's scary.

#glee rp #glee ds rp #glee smut rp #interactions: f2f #f2f: campbell clarington

0 notes

crystal-cloudy · 7 years

Note

do all the asks...... i wanna kno what ur fav kesha song is

oh my god, this is the best thing. thank you kind soul

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

Let’s see... The last person I texted was my coworker who had her last day today, so I would probably just be like “is that _____ from work?”

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

Never kissed nobody so I can’t say that.

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

I would care, at least to know. It depends on the drugs in terms of what kind of care. I would be concerned if it was hard drugs, I’d just be like “be careful” if it was pot or something, and that is legal now so...

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

Yes, by precisely one letter.

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

NEVER KISSED NOBODY

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

You mean every time I have a crush? Yes.

7. What does your last received text say?

“Please come home, I need the car.”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

stawp

9. Where was your last kiss at?

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

About 5 minutes ago when she plopped my cat onto my bed

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Depends on the morning. Usually iced tea, coffee, orange juice, or water.

12. Where did you sleep last night?

My bed, and also a little on my couch.

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

Hells yes.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

Yes. I would change a lot of things.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

None at all, because it’s an empty room.

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Rainy, but with a bright sky.

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

No actually! Or at least not off the top of my head. Well there is one girl, but it’s spelled differently.

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

Leggings, biatch.

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

I would certainly like to fucking be.

20. Does anyone like you?

Not to my knowledge.

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

NO SIR

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

FUuuuUUuuUU

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

I mean, there are a few people I get really annoyed by, but no one I am particularly upset by.

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

YES.

25. In the past week have you cried?

Seeing as I cried just 5 minutes ago, yeah.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

OH OH I KNOW THIS a golden retriever. He was a good boy!!

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

I start in the shower, then get out and finish in the open air.

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

Nope.

29. Do you think you’re old?

Nah man, I’m a youth.

30. Do you like text messaging?

Not particularly. Too many misunderstandings. But I think it’s useful.

31. What type of day are you having?

Bad.

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

Hells yes. I honestly really want to.

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

Cold weather, so I can bundle up under blankets. But I also really like warm weather because a lot of my clothes have holes or are fishnet, etc.

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Yes.

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

I’d prefer a relationship, but I’ll take anything at this point.

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

I feel like I’m complicated probably.

37. What song are you listening to?

Jack the Ripper by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

Always. I have never once said sorry without meaning it. I genuinely hate upsetting anyone, and even if I wouldn’t change what I had done, I still am at least sorry for causing problems.39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

Kind of??? Not really. There’s one person, but that’s my sister, who is not a girl!!! (as in nonbinary. I refuse to call them a girl, but we use the term sister)40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

Connection over history. I’m such a geek.41. When did you last receive a text message?

This morning at 9am.42. What is wrong with you right now?

A LOT. Kind of everything.43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

Semi-well. Again, coworkers.44. Does anyone disgust you?

A fair number of people.45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

Yes.46. Are you in a good mood right now?

Not really.47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?7

My sib.48. What color shirt are you wearing?

Black, with a hint of cat fur.49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

Oh yes.50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

A few, if I’m being completely honest.51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

A little bit, tbh.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

Honestly half the people in my life.53. Do you like rain?

Yes. 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

Not really, as long as it’s not a drinking problem.55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

Oh yes. 56. Do you like to cuddle?

Hells yeah bitch.57. Are you shy?

Yes. I’m terrified of talking to people. 58. Do you get along with girls?

For the most part yeah!59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

Nope. 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

A hair tie. 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

Probably. I’d be freaked out but I can stand being freaked out for a fucking million bucks. That’d pay for my education and then some. maybe my own car. 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

I don’t know. never been in one, so i dont really know how id be. 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

No sirree. 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

yes. very much indeed.65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

The person and me had a bunch of interactions because they were sick all week (still came to class) and I asked them everyday how they were doing and tried to give them advice, which they always responded to.

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

. fuck this quiz.

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

Neither??? I don’t deal with my nails, I use my hands too much. If I had to pick, I’d get a professional to do them. At least then they’ll look decent...68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

Leopard print, by a long shot.69. Do you have any stickers on your car?

No. Esp cuz it’s my family car, not personally mine.70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

I don’t know either of their musical styles, but I’ve heard of Lil Wayne, so I guess him.71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone?

Well I have an android, but if I had the choice I would want an iPhone.72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?

A few years, but man I kinda miss it.73. Do you like diet soda?

No. It is the bane of my existence and the fall of humanity.74. What color are the walls in your room?

Bright turquoise, from my ten year old IM SO RANDOOOOOM phase. Ugh.75. Are you 16 or older?

Older than 16, but by less than a few years.76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?

Nah.77. Do you have a job?

Yep! 78. What are your initials?

SCW.79. Did you ever have braces?

I did, for 18 months when I was 12/13/14. I hated them.80. Are you from the south?

I am not. Nor’easter, coming at ya.

81. What does your last status on facebook say?

“If anyone hears of someone held up at and denied entry at Logan Airport in Boston because of Muslim or refugee status, please have them or relatives contact ACLU Massachusetts at 617-482-3170 x330. Please share widely! (Copy and Paste)”82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

The number you are dialing cannot be reached.83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?

Definitely to my mom. It’s hard to get close to my dad.84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?

I did gymnastics when I was 4. I am a dancer though.85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?

uhhhh, good question. Moana? Maybe?86. Do you smoke?

No, but it becomes more and more appealing.87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?

Heels bitch.88. Is your phone touch screen?

Touch screen.89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?

Natural? 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?

Nope.91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

I’m a geek, I know, but a pool...92. Have you ever made out in a car?

No.93. …Had sex in a car?

No.94. Are you single or in a relationship?

Single, and #foreveralone 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?

Watching GBBO with my sib and eating mini kitkats.96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?

Fourth of July!97. Do you like the camera on your phone?

I think it’s pretty good.98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?

No.99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?

No, although I have wanted to.100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?

No.101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?

No.102. Name your favorite Kesha song:

I think it’s probably “Your Love Is My Drug”, although I’m a fan of “Gold Trans Am”.103. Do you have any tan lines right now?

No, I don’t go outside enough for that.104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

Depending on the shorts, I might, yeah. Could be cute.

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wavykidruahl · 7 years

Text

IM BORED SO I ANSWERED THEM ALL

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? Lmaoooo YIKESSSS

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? Nothing. That person doesn’t exist

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? Yes, if it was anything but weed

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? Yes

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? Non existent

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? Yes all the freaking time.

7. What does your last received text say? That’s tbh my type of fail

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? 00000000000.0000

9. Where was your last kiss at? In my dreams

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? Like a week ago

11. What do you drink in the morning? Water 💦💦

12. Where did you sleep last night? In my bed with no heat on

13. Do you think relationships are hard? Nope, I mean I wouldn’t know. But I think they are like having a best friend.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? I don’t think I did anything stupid enough.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? Nope. I’d me in the room by my self. 🙋🏽

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? Rainy ☔️️☔️️

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? Nope.

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? Jeans but I’m about to put on sweatpants 😝

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? If we are being honest, probably not.

20. Does anyone like you? If someone does,please tell me.

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? Nope.

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? Wtf kind of question

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? There’s a couple of them in my school. 🙄

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? Yeah, a couple smallish ones

25. In the past week have you cried? Yeah 🙃

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? Great Dane

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? depends on how cold it is

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? I wish…..

29. Do you think you’re old? Nah

30. Do you like text messaging? Absolutely, I can only talk on the phone with my mom and people i’m really close with so….. just my mom😂

31. What type of day are you having? Lazy one

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? nah, everyone and their mom where i live has one.

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? colllllddddd for sureeee❄️

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? Justin drew bieber

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? Relationship. I’m too invested for a fling.

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? A weird mix of both.

37. What song are you listening to? Silence

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? eh

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? nope

40. What made you start liking the person you like now? His fucking smile bro, its so cute 😫. I could legit just stare at it for hours and hours. (I’m not talking about justin)

41. When did you last receive a text message? 1 hour ago

42. What is wrong with you right now? If i could tell you i would 😬

43. How well do you know the last female you texted? Not that well

44. Does anyone disgust you? Lets not

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? Depends on who but most likely not.

46. Are you in a good mood right now? eh

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? My mom

48. What color shirt are you wearing? Blue

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? People don’t tell me anything

50. Anyone you’re giving up on? Several actually at the moment.

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? LMAO yep. Sure do. 52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? I’ve done it.

53. Do you like rain? YES. Pluviophile here 👈🏽

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? Nope. As long as it’s not affecting their health.

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Bro every crush I’ve had ever.

56. Do you like to cuddle? I wouldn’t know but probably

57. Are you shy? Yeah.

58. Do you get along with girls? I don’t get along with people.

59. Have you dated the person you texted last? Nah.

60. What do you carry with you at all times? My bus pass, my phone and my braces rubber bands

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? Nahhhhh not I.

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? I can last 5 years

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? i’ve never been in a relationship

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? Omfg yes

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? Nope. I wish

66. How old are the last three people you kissed? Square root of -1. lol get it? because they’re imaginary…. math joke 😂😂😂

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? myself, why pay for them to peel off when i can get them to peel for free.

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? Neither

69. Do you have any stickers on your car? I don’t have a car yet, and if I did I wouldn’t have stickers on it.

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? lil Wayne 😋

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? iPhone 📱

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? I don’t think I ever had pizza from there, but I want to try it

73. Do you like diet soda? It’s alright

74. What color are the walls in your room? Purple

75. Are you 16 or older?Sí

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? Yas it’s one my favorite shows even when it annoys me

77. Do you have a job? Yes sir

78. What are your initials? JB, legit guys

79. Did you ever have braces? Yup currently. #braceface

80. Are you from the south? North

81. What does your last status on facebook say? YASSS my girl is 17 !!!

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? if that person is in my dreams then yes?

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? Mí Madre

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? Nope too fat for that 😭

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? Straight out of Compton

86. Do you smoke? Nahhh

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? neither, more of a sneakers person.

88. Is your phone touch screen? yep

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? Curly

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? nah, i like my life.

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? Pool

92. Have you ever made out in a car? lmaooo nope

93. …Had sex in a car? Nah fam

94. Are you single or in a relationship? single as a the last pringle in the can that you can’t reach.

95. What were you doing last night at midnight? Sleep 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? Fourth of July

97. Do you like the camera on your phone? Yup iPhone 6s Plus

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? nahhhhhhh.

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? Nah. Drinking kills brain cells.

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? Nope.

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? LMAOOO boys don’t like me enough for that.

102. Name your favorite Kesha song: That one song.

103. Do you have any tan lines right now? Nope. I stay indoors on Tumblr

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? No do I look like Hanna Montana

#ask me questions #i was bored #get to know me #get turnt #answered asks

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alicedoessurveys · 7 years

Text

100 Questions

1. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? cant really see me every wearing that nope

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? nothing. he tried to make conversation with me a few times but i was super awks and ignored him

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? I don't have a boyfriend but if I did I would care. I would try help him stop and if he didn't id have to leave

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? yup, 8 letters

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? unfortunately sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? Yup

7. What does your last received text say? 'ah okay’

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? once.. kinda twice..

9. Where was your last kiss at? in a carpark. he was driving me home and he suddenly pulled into a carpark and was like ‘I'm not driving till you kiss me’ which is just super creepy and awkward but I just wanted to go home and we were too far away to walk so I let him kiss me so he would drive me :’)

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? few hours ago

11. What do you drink in the morning? I don't really drink in the morning, except like one mouthful if water to take my meds

12. Where did you sleep last night? my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard? I wouldn't know.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? can't think of anything

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? it would be awkward but we never fell out of anything so we could be civil

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? Sunny

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? nope

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? sweatpants, as usual

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? hope so, otherwise I'm forever alone

20. Does anyone like you? I doubt it :’)

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? yup

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? he has a girlfriend so I guess not, but you never know these days haha

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? yup, and were related.. yay(!)

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? yup, I wanted one for a while but was too scared then I went to blackpool for a long weekend. On our final day there we went out for lunch, and two of us ended up getting tattoos

25. In the past week have you cried? yup

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? I'm looking at my one of dogs now, she is a cockapoo

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? Out of the shower

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? Nope

29. Do you think you’re old? nope, have moment where I'm like damn I'm old but I'm only 21.

30. Do you like text messaging? yup

31. What type of day are you having? shitty. I've got a cold and its making my whole head and neck really painful

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? nope, im not a piercings person it freaks me out the thought of having things in my skin. I haven't even got my ears pierced.

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? Warm, but not too hot

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? Yup, a few. main two are my dad and grandad

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? relationship

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? both, depends on my mood

37. What song are you listening to? None, I'm watching tv

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? almost all the time

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? mom

40. What made you start liking the person you like now? I don’t like anyone right now

41. When did you last receive a text message? few hours ago

42. What is wrong with you right now? I have a cold

43. How well do you know the last female you texted? very weak, she's my sister

44. Do you have any tan lines right now? nope its January and England is never sunny enough for a tan

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? depends who it is and if I knew them well enough

46. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? not me, but my friend did when we were in blackpool. she convinced herself she was pregnant so 3 of us went out to buy a late a night in a freakin’ storm being blown all over the place by gale force winds to find a pharmacy and buy a pregnancy test.. she wasn't pregnant

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? mom

48. What color shirt are you wearing? black

49. Name your favourite Kesha song? Dinosaur :’) I actually haven't listened to Kesha in a long time

50. Anyone you’re giving up on? yup

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? I've not really fell hard for anyone

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? idk

53. Do you like rain? not really, unless I'm indoors and can hear it on tapping on the windows or the roof. I find that really cosy

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? don't have one. if I did, I wouldn't mind him drinking as long as he was sensible and didn't try to pressure me to drink

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? yes. and I'm glad I didn't because the only time I was honest with someone and told them I liked them it was sooooo awkward and it kind ruined our friendship

56. Do you like to cuddle? yaaaass

57. Are you shy? yeah. but depending who I'm with or what situation I'm in I'm quite good at putting on a face and pretending to be someone who isn't shy

58. Do you get along with girls? depends on their personality, I get on better with boys

59. Have you dated the person you texted last? No, she’s my sister haha

60. What do you carry with you at all times? my phone

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? yup

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? think so

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? Nope

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? I think thats a cute thing to do anyway so yeah

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? Not really

66. How old are the last three people you kissed? only kissed one guy, I think he's 26 now

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? I occasionally pay to get them done for special occasions, but I do enjoy doing them myself too

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? neither

69. Do you have any stickers on your car? I have a silver metal kind of sticker of an ichthus fish and a sticker from the dogs trust that says ‘I'm a dogs best friend, I sponsor a dog with dogs trust’

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? I dont know who Luke Bryan is and I don't like lil Wayne

71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone? iPhone

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? few months ago, I prefer dominos

73. Do you like diet soda? not really

74. What color are the walls in your room? cream and purple

75. Are you 16 or older? Older

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? YAS!

77. Do you have a job? nope, I need one

78. What are your initials? AA

79. Did you ever have braces? Nope, I wish I had when I was a kid

80. Are you from the south? south Birmingham, so technically yeah

81. What does your last status on facebook say? I don’t remember

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? nope

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? mom

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? Nope, cheerleading isn't really a thing in England, and I've never been into gymnastics

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? Passengers

86. Do you smoke? No

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? flip flops, the last time I wore heels was my 21st birthday and I fell over so bad I cut both knees and elbows, bled everywhere, bashed my head & cried like a baby

88. Is your phone touch screen? Yup

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? Im lazy so I usually let it do what it wants. its kinda of naturally straight

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? nope im a good girl

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? Pool

92. Have you ever made out in a car? Not made out nope

93. …Had sex in a car? no

94. Are you single or in a relationship? Single

95. What were you doing last night at midnight? freaking out cause mom made me put onion slices in my socks and it felt so disgusting

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? New Year’s Eve

97. Do you like the camera on your phone? Yup

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Nope

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? nope I don't drink

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? not hate, just very strongly dislike because of the selfish choices he makes

#survey #long

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kathryncalls · 7 years

Text

springboarding out of the friend zone

Yes, terrible title I know, but theres something I need to type out, something I need to air. Now I write this, it’s so horrendously typical but I’m still typing so lets see whether I can answer my own questions by writing it out. I feel like everyone else on the internet writes stuff that no one ever reads and it helps, so now its my turn.

I am so confused but so happy but so worried about getting my hopes up. Earlier I said that I’m so excited that I’m almost scared, and I know it’s because it’s too good to be true! You’re you and I still don’t know what that means. But you’ve been this ideal thing that I’ve always pushed aside in my mind, wanted to text because I just love speaking to you but have forced myself not to because we’re too good friends. Never in my life have I suppressed feelings because I genuinely couldn’t lose someone. If this weekend would never have happened then I don’t think I would’ve ever said anything. I know I’ve said 100 times that I don’t like her, but at the end of the day, if she was making you happy then I’m ok with that. It made me happy to hear you say that you were cutting the strings with her, I feel like you really do want me, which is so cool, honestly, it’s so surreal, and it’s stupid to say it’s surreal because surely surreal is going into freaking space, I don’t know it feels stupid to call it that either way. You told me how attractive you found me last night, which was adorable, I like that side of you, and I want to see more of it, but I’m still finding it weird. I want you be with you so much, and its something that Ive known would make me happy for a long time but it’s truly something that I’ve suppressed for years which feels weird to say, but I think that’s why I’m finding it weird to call you something less personal and stuff like that, and also to tell you how attractive I find you and what exactly I love about you. Ok, another thing, this is weird because at this point, we should be finding out about each other and getting to know one another, not telling you what I love about you, but because I’ve classed you as my friend for at least 18 months, I feel like we’ve jumped ahead 3 months… Its weird, I want you to take me on a date, but I don’t because its you, its us, but our first date would be so funny, so much fun, you make me laugh, you bring out the worst in me and your bring out the best, you make me happy to be me which is quite something. With him I felt like I was being someone that I was telling myself I wanted to be a little bit. He didn’t treat me like I wanted to be, but I held on and Im not sure why to be honest. I like to be treated like a princess, lets not lie, but I don’t like to be pandered too, I like to be strong in myself, I don’t want to be a house wife (that wasn’t a proposal, hypothetically) but at the same time, I want to cook you a nice meal for when you finish work, or iron your uniform whilst youre in the shower so you don’t have too. Im not a chocolates and flowers girl, Im a leave a note somewhere kind of girl, send me something that reminds me of us. I like to be a real unit with whoever I dedicate myself too, and I really do, when I dedicate myself to someone, now I know that you don’t do clingy, and I might end up coming across that way, its linked to the whole, me sounding pessimistic thing. I’m really really not feeling negative about any of this. I just do not want to screw it up, I can’t, for so many reasons! I can’t lose you as a friend regardless of what happens romantically between so I need to be careful how I tread here because I’m not prepared to lose you. See as I write that and think about it, maybe this is a bad idea because youre not as worried about our friendship as I am, you don’t seem to have these worries which could be such a bad sign, but at the same time, maybe its because you know exactly what you want? Another thing, you’ve told me multiple times that you’ve cheated before, never anything too serious but still, I cant cope with anyone doing that to me, let alone you, how am I supposed to maintain a friendship post breakup if you do that to me, I almost don’t want to give you the chance too…

Another thing. Distance. Realistically, we’ve both done long distance, and you say that the reason you cheated on her was because she wasn’t right, but you didn’t know that to start with, but now youre so sure, which is amazing, and I love that you think I’m right and that this is right, I agree so much, but again, I don’t want to ruin our friendship. ah shit I hate this feeling. And I keep having this argument with myself about whether its perfect or awful timing so here, pros and cons.

Great timing: You’re about to come home from spending 18 months in Spain, you’re not gonna be living at home, you’re probably going to be in London, you’ve got a job, you’re basically set

Awful timing: youre about to start your career, I’m about to move away from London, I’m about to go back into training, you might be miles away from London, our timetables might not match up

If you haven’t already got the jist, I am not letting this end sourly.

ah shit.

Anyway, finally, why I think you’re great: very intelligent, mature but immature, sociable, lovable, loved by mother, confident, amazing sense of humour, understands my love for the arts, cheeky, emotional, genuine, incredible gentleman and so so sexy, I don’t care how cringe it is, no ones gonna read this

we’re apart for valentines day too, which is weird because thatd be a great first date for us.. so do I send a card as a cute little joke, a serious card, or do I not even mention it? You know how much I want you to make all the first moves, I want to be asked out on date, I wanted to be kissed first, I want to be told I’m loved first ( a long way down the line)

Basically I just want to be excited about this and not have a million reasons why we cant do this cross my mind

we can do this,

no one is stopping us

theres no one to look over our shoulders when its just us, we live in the same town so visiting family together and Christmas wouldn’t be an issue

ahh stop taking everything so seriously, I try and run before I can walk, I think that’s where all the making the first move thing comes from, I don’t know

right now the best thing I could think to be doing is just isolating ourselves, running off to a city somewhere and submerging ourselves, without people watching, like you said, without people wondering why we look so happy, why I laugh at everything you say, why we lock eyes and pause for a little too long, (that’s another thing, when we went for lunch that time at Christmas, we kept locking eyes for just a few seconds too long, and please, I put a fucking dress on for you, you wore a suit, could’ve been taken as signs but I genuinely think we both, well I know for me this is the case, but I reckon we’ve deeply suppressed stuff for so long)

Ok ok, you wanna know when it really hit me that I wanted you for real… when you told me about A. Honestly. You’ve always been the one I’ve thought about when I felt shit in a relationship or when I’m alone, I mean please, ask K, he was sick of hearing about you no doubt, but I did love being with K before things got really hard, but that night when you told me about A in the pub, you know me so well, that ive no idea how you didn’t literally hear my heart sink. but again, supressed to and opted for ‘tell me more’.

I wish I could talk to you about all this, but its been a week since we kissed, that’s all, and 2 weeks ago you wanted to be single for a few years and now you want to be with me, easy for you to say when youre alone in a room in spain, homesick, will you say that when you move in with the boys and meet all the air hostesses, why the fuck do I think I can trust you? do I really think I can change you? like really? I want to think that youll dedicate yourself to me but I CANT LOSE YOU, I hope you understand how much this is paining me

you really don’t know this side of me, ive kept it from you on purpose

if I lose you I have no one

look who I turned too when I split up with H, and again with J and with K. you.

Who do I turn to when its you I split up with? Also, a huge part of my just wants a nice house out of the city where we can live together, with a puppy just us, but that's in the future...

Just come home Ben

(if anyone is still reading this, please, do share your thoughts - a very confused 20yo)

#confused #friendzone #inorout #dilemma #overthinking

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crowoftheeast · 7 years

Text

Bored on a weekend

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

Hell yessssss ( the dumb)

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

A lot, Everything. Everything a couple is we are.

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

I would care, I’d do my best to convince them to stop but if not then,.. welll au revoir

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

yuuuuuuuup

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

Sober and nom <3

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

No, not really. I mean, I confessed to them and it made things weird and now we arent even friends.

7. What does your last received text say?

“ Proud of you!” - Tracy <3

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

Enough to make it a kiss a day. ( only seeing them 1-2 times a week)

9. Where was your last kiss at?

The dumbs bedroom *u*

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

Tuesday

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Water

12. Where did you sleep last night?

My house

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

They are stressful sometimes but not hard if you communicate.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

Maybe not be such a pussy. I begged to be a cashier only to fuck it up. which was a huge regret.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

Opposite of a problem! <3

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Rainnningggg

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

Nope!

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

Pajama pants

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

I better be.. ill be so depressed if im not

20. Does anyone like you?

Besides the dumb? probably not lolol

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

I SWEAR TO HECK I HOPE NOT

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

YESSSSSSSSSS

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Always! but I have an issue where I pick at things on my skin that shouldnt be there. I’m afraid i’d tear my skin apart if i had one

25. In the past week have you cried?

Yes. work is stressful

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

Husky

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

Out, air dry is best and hard to do so in a steamy shower

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

Close... I had one from school who said they would but... nope

29. Do you think you’re old?

Yes. I am very old ~n~

30. Do you like text messaging?

Who doesnt? im too shy to talk

31. What type of day are you having?

a good bad one. I couldnt be there for the dumb who is sick but other than that its been cool

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

warm right now because winter was horrible.

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

The DUUUUUUUUMMMBBBBBBBBB

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

Relationship

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

Simple I like to believe

37. What song are you listening to?

Catch fire - Periphery

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

OF course, ill fight tooth and nail if im not sorry. 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

TRacy 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

Headstrong, determined, and holy heck cute. 41. When did you last receive a text message?

12:30 from Tracy 42. What is wrong with you right now?

Im really tired

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

I know what i can. It’s harder not being friends in real life but I feel we are pretty open 44. Does anyone disgust you?

yessssssss 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

I am dating the dumb <3 46. Are you in a good mood right now?

meh, its a good but could be better mood 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

My mom 48. What color shirt are you wearing?

Black 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

No 50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

As friends, no. I love them all too much 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

YES >:( how dare he make me feel so strongly about a person.

on serious note. I do and dont. I hate that I still think of him but I would love to speak to him again. Just one more time.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

Yeeeeeeeeep 53. Do you like rain?

Love it! 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

I drink, I worry about the dumb and dont want him to go over board but i dont mind a drink or 2 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

No, I am honest and will admit it. 56. Do you like to cuddle?

Loooooooove I want to cuddle always 57. Are you shy?

Extremely. When I speak, my hand goes to my necklace because I feel it helps calmmy nerves 58. Do you get along with girls?

The same as I do with guys. 59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

Nope. 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

Perfume and tea 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

FUCk YESSS 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

Ive been in one for 5-6 years and still going strong 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

yes 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

I faint, good night 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

Wednesday I spent the night with the dumb and when we woke up he just pulled me in super close and we fell asleep with my face buried into his chest and his arms gently around me with his hand on the back of my head and I nearly cried because it was the best thing ever.

I want to live with him so bad. He’s so freaking cute.

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

21, and only 1 . I never have kissed anyone but the dumb

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

Do them myself. 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

Zebraaa

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

laaaaaaaakeeee

92. Have you ever made out in a car?

Yes 93. …Had sex in a car?

Not yet hurr hurr hurrr... never that would be so uncomfortable and awkward 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?

roleplaying 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?

Almost every time I drink because im dumb 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?

No, I only friend people I trust and like. No sense being fake 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?

yes but we goooooddddddddddddddddddddddddd 102. Name your favorite Kesha song:

the one where she sings 103. Do you have any tan lines right now?

LOLOLOLOL no. 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

Gross

#sorry #im really boredddddddd

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mommy2bprobz-blog · 7 years

Text

Today Was The Day

No one ever tells you what rock bottom is or how it feels, because everyones rock bottom is different. A feeling and situation you cant escape no matter what exit strategy you think of. Im laying in bed, wearing the same outfit i had on yesterday minus my pants and bra. Im so hungry and weak, i feel like i could pass out. This is probably because im 9 weeks pregnant and the only thing ive eaten today is a bowl of lumpy malt o meal. i stumbled into the kitchen half awake to make this about 4 hours ago when i felt so sick i thought i was going to throw up my baby. Ive cried 5 times already and its barely 1:30, with an hour long nap between when i woke up to now. My eyelashes are stuck together, and when i pull them apart i feel a salty residue on my fingers. I havent showered or brushed my teeth and im not sure ill even get to that point today. The most ive accomplished on this fine day is counting the number of sticky tac marks on the ceiling of my room from the previous owners of this apartment. I imagine they had a kid with those glow in the dark stars to look at before their precious child fell into sleep. My boyfriend has been nothing but patient and helpful since we found out im pregnant. Unfortunately ive managed to push him away so far because i cant stand the thought of someone seeing me failing miserably. Classic Lauren, disappearing when i dont have an answer for everything. I cant help but think that today, i realized im at my rock bottom.

Finding out im pregnant has been one of the hardest things by far, ive ever gone through. Im 21 in an 8 month relationship, so its not the worst of situations. But i definitely wasnt ready. I was one of those people that swore they werent going to have kids until later on in their life.When i took the test by myself in a Tom Thumb bathroom, i cried in the stall for about 5 minutes while a lady occupied the one next to me. That shit was positive after about 3 seconds, no wait time, i was definitely pregnant. When i told my boyfriend, i was sure we would just get an abortion and move on with our lives. But by the end of our car ride, both of us couldnt see that as an option anymore. I did not want my first pregnancy to be a casualty caused by me. The first thing i did though, was call my mom and ask if i should keep the baby or not. Wrong thing to do, because anyone you ask will say its not their decision. I know because i asked 3 people very close to me, and i didnt get one solid answer. It was completely up to me.This decision was so intense and life changing either way i wanted to go. If i kept the baby, everything drastically changed and i would have someone that would look to me for the rest of my life with no breaks or time to myself. But if i didnt keep the baby, i didnt know if i would ever forgive myself for killing my first child. Im already a pretty emotionally deep person, and the thought of having a death on my shoulders made my heart so heavy. Especially since my reasons werent very good reasons to not keep the baby. I want to travel, I want to smoke and drink with friends, i dont want the responsibility yet. At this point i had been living on my own for years, bought cars on my own, had a full time job, and lived enough lifetimes for about 7 people. It was a selfish decision in my eyes, to say no to a child… my child. And so I became a mom.

The downfall since finding out is a pretty steep ass fall. My relationship has caved in and i lost my full time job! Fuck yeah to being pregnant and jobless. I had told one of my managers i was pregnant but i didnt want anyone to know. Well somehow all the other managers found out and i honest to God believe that they fired me for being pregnant. I had been working there for 2 and a half years. Never late, never written up, passed secret shops with a 100, never called in, came in when they needed help, had pretty close relationships with select managers, and i always did my job right. I made one single mistake. I got my first complaint, which every single employee there im sure has had complaints before, but this was my FIRST. The woman who fired me, reminds me of my dads girlfriend, which is probably why ive always been so stand offish with her. She sounds like her, like theyve sucked in too much helium and their voices will always be 8 octaves higher than it should be. And both are young, small white girls from small towns in Texas that no one has probably ever heard of. Weve all met a girl like this. I asked for understanding obviously, and tried to keep my job. But she was firm on the decision she had made. So i thanked her for the opportunity to work there and left. I texted my other managers and said i was glad to have met them and again thanked them for the opportunity as well. When i left, i thought i would be extremely hurt and upset. But i felt relieved… I had been working 50-70 hours a week there for over 2 years. I was burnt out and had contemplated finding a new job, but didnt because i was pregnant and thinking about money. But this just sped up the process. The only thing was i was not really prepared to get fired… I found a job the next day, but training was 2 weeks and this month my boyfriend and i were supposed to start a special savings fund for the baby and instead i would be 3 weeks without cash relying on my checkings and savings for my bills for the month. He said he would pay my bills, and i could take some time off to rest and figure things out. Which was very sweet. The only problem was that he lost his job 2 days later. So we were both jobless and expecting. Which put a strain on our relationship.

I didnt hold it against him. I had just been fired too. But bills were screaming at me, stresses of the baby were screaming at me, 2 weeks with no income was screaming at me. And i started pushing. I wanted to be alone and cry and feel sorry for myself. I wanted to figure my life out without anyone seeing me as a failure. Especially my partner. So i did what my job had done to me. Waited for something small to happen to cut things off so i could be alone and deal with my sorry ass life by myself. It wasnt justified. And i cant believe im hurting him for my own selfish problems. But im stressed the fuck out and i have no clue what the hell im doing right now. Everything in my life has been so sure. Job, bills paid on time, plan for the future, who i am. And now, i cant even get out of bed to eat a meal. How did this happen so fast and so drastically? Every decision i make im thinking of the baby inside of me. And right now, i think im a shit mom who needs to get it together before i really damage my life and my baby’s life. What does family look like to me? What is parenting? Maternity insurance? Delivery? Announcing my pregnancy? Its all unknown to me. So here i am, writing a blog of how im gonna make this work and do this for my kid. Hopefully what i learn along the way can be helpful to any other woman who is going through my same struggle. But for right now, im just as clueless as the rest of you....

#first #time #mom #i #dont #know #what #the #hell #im #doing #clueless #boyfriend #blog #help #pregnant #21 #baby

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