god how are my husbands the most amazing men in the world

Saturday, 6 December 1828

5 1/2

11 3/4

at my desk at 6 1/2, and reading Miller’s gardener’s dictionary Till 8 10/60 articles Luereus, Castanea Land, Gramen ploughing, Sorbus, Luick, Osculus, – Breakfast at 8 10/60 – 

went out at 9 – from then to 4 (came home while the men were at dinner) in the Cunnery plantation – found William Keighley junior just come – had him cutting down the upper Cunnery plantation hedge felling a few firs at the other end of the plantation, and the old black Italian poplar and valuing the 13 sycamores Mosey felled in the Clough Till about 4 1/2 about 66 feet of the sycamores at 1/4 per foot about 10 feet of wood in the poplar at 1/6, but a little hollow at the bottom so called it 14/. George Naylor came to me to me in the morning to ask to buy a few larches – found out they were for Womersley to build a shed of some sort at his stone quarry for 2 delvers soon afterwards came and chose out 6 larches at 1/3 = 716 and 2 ditto at 5/. = 10/. William K– (Keighley) to get me 2 bushes of acorns from Studley near Ripon – my intention to plant them around the young trees in the Coneyry wood – the 2 gardeners planting and helping to clear away – John and William and the horses charging away and snigging trees for Mosey and his man to saw up into railing –said William K– (Keighley) they reckon 18 feet of wood to yield a pack of bark – the allowance made for bark in measuring wood mentioned in Hoppus, it is not the Custom to make in Yorkshire – George Naylor appointed surveyor of the high ways in Southowram – 

I am brought me about 10 a letter 3 pages and the ends from Mrs Barlow (Paris) – is she besides herself 

‘anything relating to you brings on the fever ….. I think it right to say that I think it is more than my life is worth for me to remain here and to see you …. it would be very material to my health if you could remain away until I could be clear off in the spring …. for me to be seeking a new place of abode at this sseason of the year is more than I can undertake perhaps in my delicate state and yet in it better I should do so than witness your return here I shall tell Mrs S Barlow not to come and I can leave the field open to you early in the spring ….. if without too much inconvenience to yourself you could lengthen your absence it is the last favour I shall ever ask of you and an early answer would afford great relief to a suffering invalid   your poor aunt with tears begs to me to remain to triumph over Madame de Rosny alas she little knows the pearl beyond all price is gone lost forever she little knows that Madame de Rosny could say of her niece Miss Lister of Shibden that she feared from the character given her by Madame de Boive (Boyve) that her being under her roof might increase the ill fame her own character already possessed   good god and is it to such a none you have fallen from the path ….. am I to believe her statements true   and is your fall complete   oh how I have struggled to avert this believe me on my word I regret nothing for myself the agony is to have seen and perhaps again to see your degradation I feel no jealousy no malice no selfish motive as far as I am concerned it must be the same to me to whom you prostrate yourself’   then anxiety for my return to the paths of virtue invokes the blessings of heaven upon me and hopes I may never have one days bitterness as the many I am doomed to endure but I shall ever pray for you Anne my own dear lost one  oh good god support me in this ssevere trial oh how I loved honour and virtue and wished to see you enshrined in them I have still one consolation that if your good uncle could see the passing here below that he could never condemn me in any advice I have ventured to give you’  when well goes to see my aunt for her own sake   ‘she says you are going to remain in Paris two years Madame de Rosny had private conversations with Madame de Boive (Boyve) before I went to England they related to you the countess said she so pressingly asked her to call she could not refuse her   I did not mention any this gout of malice Anne but I think it my duty to point out that your new favorite is not blessed with much discretion and that I think it right to warn you to it cut of this I ssupose you have begun to be sensible that you will teach her to be more so for your own sake   a young Englishman  she tried for after you were gone and it quite turned her head because he was richer but he has cut her   she told Ferdinande her husband was much better with the Marquis Nicolai than with you who were not she thought ‘‘riche’’ 

the woman wont go to her when Mrs B- (Barlow) goes – Dr Tupper has not yet made up his mind about the apartment – the Senés anxious to keep such good tenants, and have carpeted my bedroom, Mrs B– (Barlow) thinking Miss MacL– (MacLean) would like it better –

(left margin: all emphasis dashes, marked in the original are always dotted, by me instead of lines under matter)

plenty of money to supply my aunt with – kept her bed since last week, and has not seen her ‘nor does she know I am writing; but I thought the fever might abate after this letter was written, and which hung upon my mind – would willingly die but for Jane 

‘but I must stay and endure all that my beloved god ordains do not be afraid that I shall be at or ment to you or trouble you in future   no doubt this is the last request I shall ever make you and it is to enable Jane to remain here this winter who very unwillingly gives up Paris oh Anne how happily we could have remained together if …. But it was decreed we should part   you love eclat to court the attention of the stranger and the far away (quoted from my last) and I shall soon be for gotten oh that I could as easily forget you   but I have been forgotten and put aside since last ….. this time twelve month you were still all you all to be  and I gloried in you  we took sacrament together on the twenty eighth of this month and I thought it would render our friendship still more sacred Anne are you happier now if you wish me to burn your next letter trust me to do it if it so requested oh I remember how you looked after your residence in Rue Matignon when you made believe to be in your sore throat   oh horror of horrors I rave again    I bear you no ill will my wound is too deep for that filled with poignant and deep sorrow bless you may the almighty bless you may I never see you again and may you find one as faithfully devoted as’ …. I cannot make it out – ‘how much I could tell you but will not plague you any more nor am I able to go through the horrible task    I should have been glad to have been spared the asking you to prolong your stay and at any other time I should have been off without saying a word    excuse this letter if I have said aught to offend you I intended it not cut my peace is gone and I know not what I write   

M. Touchon’s apparatus for extracting the human calculus, much approved by Sir Astley Cooper – was to have operated (was sent for) upon a Mr Jordan ‘but by the time  he arrived Mr J– (Jordan) was too ill to submit to it’ – ‘the countess says you delighted in such conversations as I blush to hear – teach her discretion if you can and not to boast so much of your favours sso publicly’ – It seems my ‘aunt is remarably well’ – is she be sides herself  mused a few minutes as I stood by William Keighley cutting down the upper Cunnery plantation hedge but soon turned to him and occupied myself with what I was about just saying within myself is she mad   to quarrel with the little countess now would never do true or not as this I must be wary and mind what I am about my heart is not interested my head will have fairer play but shall I leave Paris and thus get out of it all would Dijon do for us for my aunt may indeed live these dozen years  came home when the men went to dinner and from one to two and a quarter no from    

from 12 50/60 to 2 10/60 at my desk – and wrote what I thought of writing and sending in the evening to Mrs B– (Barlow) in answer to her tirade – at 2 10/60 went back to the plantation staid there perhaps near 1/2 hour after William K– (Keighley) went then went down to the bottom of the walk – their ashes partly washed away by a flush of water from Charles Howarth’s – must this stopt – then measuring to see how much railing it would take to rail off the whole of Lower brook ing wood and the walk above (in Lower brook Ing) anew – about 200 yards in length – 

came in at 5 20/60 – dressed – Dinner at 6 1/4 – came upstairs at 6 55/60 (had my wine afterwards) and from then to 7 55/60 wrote and sent by John to

‘Madame Madame Barlow, Rue des Champs Elysées No. 6, Paris’ the following 2 pages with 4 or 5 lines on the end of the other side to my aunt – Shibden Saturday evening 6 December 1828. Maria! I have been out all day, and have just got your letter – my heart aches more than perhaps you think, but would ache still more were it not supported by a conscience comparatively void of offence – I have neither time nor spirit to enter into detail – my letter, to save the next mail, must be in the posting - office in an hour; and I have ordered the servant to have his horse standing ready in the stable – at all rates, I lose not a moment in complying with your request to write as soon as I can – you have always found me at least ready to oblige you to the utmost of my poor ability; and on this, surely, not when scandal can shake your faith – if after your receipt of these few hurried lines, you still wish me not to return, I will do all I can to oblige you in this, also – But I give you my word of honour, you are mistaken –Madame G– (Galvani) is, at this moment, forcibly recalled to my mind, whom I have heard more than once observe, that the French not only tell all they know, but much more – not only count over what they have received, but  boast of what they have not – to me considered individually and singly, all this is unimportant: – to me considered collectively and in connection with others, it has an importance exactly equal to the credit given to it by those whose good opinion and regard I value – Perhaps, Maria, I might  justly complain to find myself so precipitately condemned unheard – Presumptive evidence, however plausible, should always be received with caution; and even the positive assertion of those whose veracity we have in any instance been known to doubt, should be well examined, and well weighed, before we attempt to fix on it the stamp of truth – But if you continue to do me the injustice you do me at present, I shall not blame your heart for it; and this at least, will shed one little beam of light along the darksome cloud that you have thrown around me – If you still desire my not returning to Paris till you are gone, (and may I entreat you to spare me, as soon as you can, at least the misery of suspense) I will do my utmost to manage it, and will take all the care in my power never to intrude upon you more – my constant prayer will be for your happiness – and may you live to discover that your esteem has not been deservedly forfeited by your ever steadily and sincerely affectionate friend AL (Anne Lister) – will you be good enough to send the 3 or 4 following lines to my aunt – Shibden Saturday evening 6 December 1828. my dear aunt   I am in a hurry to send off my letter to Mrs B– (Barlow) I find Dr T– Tupper can still give no decided answer – without further hesitation, lose no time in taking our present apartment for 3 months longer – It delights us to hear such continued good accounts of you – very busy – I shall stay over the rent-day, at all rates – all quite well – ever most affectionately yours AL (Anne Lister) – my father and Marian send their love’ – 

went downstairs at 7 55/60 and had my wine – then asleep on the sofa above an hour, till 10 – then talking about my aunt’s return to Shibden (my father always wishes it and will see no objection – no difficulties in the way), the difference it would make to all parties, servants etc. etc. and came upstairs at 10 40/60 – then till 11 wrote (all but the 2 first lines) of the first 13 lines of today, etc. Highish wind now at 11 p.m. – Very fine day –

(SH:7/ML/E/11/0102) (SH:7/ML/E/11/0103) (SH:7/ML/E/11/0104)

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https://www.catalogue.wyjs.org.uk/CalmView/Record.aspx?src=CalmView.Catalog&id=CC00001%2f7%2f9%2f6%2f11%2f103&pos=1

https://www.catalogue.wyjs.org.uk/CalmView/Record.aspx?src=CalmView.Catalog&id=CC00001%2f7%2f9%2f6%2f11%2f105&pos=1