#ik its like a cliche indie music thing at this point but wow i think its one of the best albums ever lol
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i think everyone should listen to in the aeroplane over the sea at least once in their life.
#fair warning i am about to ramble so unintelligently#idk where i read it but the whole story of being able to hear jeff mangum walk away at the end of two headed boy part two and then from#that point on he was just. never the same#like he had a nervous breakdown after recording the album and they never released anything else and he fell off the face of the earth for#a while#the whole premise of the album is so fucking emotional and uncomfortable but somehow beautiful#ik its like a cliche indie music thing at this point but wow i think its one of the best albums ever lol#i guess haunting is a good word for it#because its uncomfortable to listen to for a few reasons#like the subject matter#and also how piercing jeffs voice is#at some points its just painful to listen to because even though his voice isnt good you can hear everything inside of him breaking#i wrote an essay on this in like 11th grade but idk where it is lol and im sure it wasnt good#raw is kind of an overused word to describe music but fuck this album really is just that. raw and painful and uncomfortable#if jeff mangum had a more conventional voice i dont think the album would have the same impact it does#the album probably wasnt recorded in order but it feels like it was recorded in one continous session from start to finish#and you can kind of jeffs voice shift from start to finish it just sounds more and more desperate and almost#unhinged? not the word im looking for but it fits#fuck i had to pause the album holland 1945 came on and i want to finish typing this lol#like i know mcr has a ton of 'mythology' surrounding the history of the members and thats one of my favorite things about them#and nmh has that same kind of mystery about them too#but in a different way#im struggling to put this into words but the way neutral milk hotel kind of just. stopped bc of jeff's mental health leaving fans with#no closure makes me think of what would have happened if gerard died in 2004 after revenge#maybe i am looking way too deep into this bc im supposed to be doing homework but#and then the whole idea of having no closure#gerards 'its not a band its an idea' comment and the whole breakup provided no closure in my opinion (and now i see why but irrelevant) and#idk if that was on purpose. and jeff mangum didnt want to officially break up nmh right after becoming famous even though he could not#handle it#and it reminds me of the mcr breakup in that people viewed it as selfish and they hadthis whole idealized version of jeff in their heads
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