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howlingmoonrise · 4 years

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Thoughts on Petshop of Horrors: Wandering Ark volumes 1 & 2

(also on dreamwidth)

HOW did I manage to miss the translation of my long-awaited Papa D PSOH series?? I've been stalking it ever since I found the announcement and somehow the fact that @ruthlessnightsscans already put out the first two volumes completely went past my head.

Obviously I had to read it right away, sleep be damned.

this is the edited version of my brain thoughts after i managed to get two sleeps and calm down a bit or it would be a lot more incoherent

The art: the initial pages really remind me of the old art! Unfortunately it goes back to the roundness prevalent since the Shin series (which has only become even rounder with time) not long after. That art style is also a lot less dynamic than the original, I find. It's a bit of a problem on scenes that are supposed to have some tension caused by movement. This is nothing new since, like I said, Sensei has been using this art style since a good while ago. I really miss the original art though. It had a major nostalgia punch to it and a lot more feeling as well.

-- First chapter: "I am on a journey with no destination in mind" just say you're on vacation and go off I guess.

Papa is... weirdly easy-going. I want to say it's because he's not yet mad with grief and his son being taken away and so on, but the glimpses we saw at his time in university definitely didn't paint him this soft. There's no edge to him, on this volume or the next.

Regarding the story itself, I can't say I loved it but it’s not the worst out of all of them (there are four in total between these two volumes, and a third volume is on the way). I liked Koushun's character, but Seiyou annoyed me, especially when he presumed to know what she wanted (or perhaps he didn't presume, but decided for her what was better anyway) - something like I Shall Revive This Species So Breed In My Name Okay Bye. Note also that while Koushun was willing enough to marry (thinking she was marrying someone else but that's another point entirely), the groom himself came in chains. And then Seiyou... locks them in together? Great. Just great. Very conducive to a loving mood indeed, locking a woman with a potentially dangerous stranger who might cause her harm and telling them both to fuck (note. the. chains. you don’t put chains on someone you think is harmless; they never put any on Koushun even when she attacked Seiyou). I was afraid for her when it cut to another scene here, with the last we saw of her being pushed against a wall and being told by the groom that it seemed that he would have to make a child with her. "Rather than hate each other, I want to break that curse"? Seiyou, sweetie, that is NOT the way to make them not hate you. ((The reveal that Koushou is some sort of creature - very PSOH-y - does not help, since putting two wild animals together without them being used to each other is perhaps even more likely to them killing/harming one another.))

MAJOR little mermaid vibes on Koushun standing over a sleeping Seiyou with a knife.

There are quite some parallels with the D species on this tale of bloodshed and revenge. The Ds could stand to learn from this, though historically they don't. "Even if you kill the third prince, the Kagetsu people are already gone. They won't return." Papa himself says that 'winning on the last available tile' is a waste of time, which really resonates with his research into reviving lost species and the issues of his own kind. A reference to the health of descendants when no new blood is introduced is also made here, which might or might not point to our D depending on where in time this Papa is from.

Second chapter: it's... frankly, super choppy. The story is all over the place. On the author's note, Akino herself says that it's a challenge to put the whole life of that empress in 57 pages, and I have to agree. Either it should have been cut to the REALLY relevant parts and worked on them some more, or be discarded in its entirety. It's too rushed. The whole first part was unnecessary: it could have started with her already working at the palace or being chosen as a concubine, and then made references to her previous life in her thoughts instead of wasting several pages on it when that backstory won't be going anywhere (except for some references to Hakubun whom she sees on that other actor - who dies like, two or three pages later, so that's that on that). I do like Ranji herself as a character: she's clever and quick to pick up on things. Her life is just a series of tragedies one after the other, unfortunately.

Papa D is some sort of benevolent helper in this chapter for some reason - this pattern repeats somewhat on the next chapters, but on this one there isn't really anything to gain for him at all, other than perhaps his dubious acquaintance with one of the concubines/future empress, which wouldn't really hold much weight since he met her ?once? apart from near her death.

And then, somehow, the initial Papa D in this chapter was actually Sofu?

Sofu???? I'm calling bullshit. As far as we know - going back to Sofu's own series and flashbacks on the original PSOH, even - Sofu never had a hairstyle of that length, and out of our three known Ds (new!D excluded) he's the one least likely to help a human just because. The ark is also said to travel through space and time, so I'm saying that's Papa D and that's it. Fun aside: on this chapter, Papa says he's the "third generation", meaning that on this series he's probably the youngest existing D (and by inference our D does not exist yet).

Also, some issues with in-story continuity here: when the last emperor dies Ranji still looks fairly young and the emperor-to-be is three years old, a couple pages later she looks a lot more aged but the new emperor is still three years old. To be honest, I think the story would have been tied off much better if A-chan had some connection with Hakubun or the eunuch instead of each having their very brief, individual emotional connections to her - which, in turn, doesn't really make them memorable. The "wishes" thing was interesting, really called back to the old PSOH tradition with the mystical pets and bittersweet be-careful-what-you-wish-for endings.

Third chapter: I think, overall, this was probably the one I liked the best. Can't really bring myself to call it my favourite though, since none of them even begin to compare to the original PSOH chapters. I cackled at the "jawline is too sharp" dialogues and thoughts: with this art style EVERYONE has the same round jaw as every other character, and it's the furthest thing from "sharp" possible.

With this series it really seems like Sensei is giving more focus to trying to tell historically-accurate stories rather than focusing on the stories themselves, as there is a huge amount of superfluous historical information to be found in these volumes.

The empress Elizabeth reminds me of Sofu, in truth. She won't "mind" affairs and the like (read: she will hate it but ignore them) as long as it works towards her ends. Her taking away the newly-born child is a huge parallel to Sofu regarding both Papa and D, and D and new!D. Child-snatching FTW! That being said, I actually kind of liked her, ruthless as she was: the whole reason why Sophie made it as far as crown princess was because Elizabeth valued her hard work. You don't get to hold an empire together without having a steel spine and a cunning mind (or people to do the work for you I guess, but here it doesn’t seem to be the case).

I hate that Sophie had to change even her name and religion to fit her new reality, accurate as it is to history. That sort of thing always messes me up (throwback to the Nazi/teddy bear chapter of the original PSOH series, where there was also a name/religion change for the sake of survival). Not a reflection on the author in any way, I just hate that this is something people had to go through. As something I hated that kinda does reflect on the author, though, was the ugly = terrible association with Pyotr and the maid. Sophie/Catherine is initially said to not be beautiful but she's not depicted in the same way those two are at all.

Papa's benevolence is thankfully offset this chapter by the fact that he does have something to gain here. For some reason Ds doing things merely for the goodness of their hearts kind of rubs me the wrong way unless it's D during or post-Leon.

Most PSOH victims clients: oh a pretty person! WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S AN ANIMAL Sophie/Catherine: a dog you say? sounds kinda hot ngl

Gotta respect how she just jumps straight into the dog affairs. The take-back of the empire was also nicely executed, and I'm always here for ladies in traditionally male clothing.

Fourth chapter:

This is linked semi-directly to the third chapter by virtue of the amber room Papa D craved. Marks also the second time that Papa takes a human on board of the ark.

D, circa end of original PSOH, a single tear rolling down his cheek as he watches Leon plummet towards the earth: Humans have not earned the right to board this ark. Papa D: I'm gonna go for a joyride and take along this human and this human and this human and this human and--

Papa really gives Doctor Who vibes on the ark matter. Travelling through space and time, occasionally taking human companions? The one for this chapter - who I'm guessing might be a cameo from one of Sensei's other series, since I didn't recognize him and there was no backstory for him on the chapter - even has era-appropriate wardrobe changes (at least assuming it's the same person and not just someone who looks similar scratch that they have eyes of different colours so I guess Papa has been giving rides to delivery men now), the second of which leaving me very ??? as to WHEN he is from.

That last Look(TM) reminds me a of Leon Orcot, between the long ponytail and the clothes resembling the ones Leon wore on the last chapter of Shin PSOH (in PSOH time, that would have happened approximately 15 years after the end of the original series, meaning that Papa was already long dead then. Unless Leon's style was just stuck in time, which is also very possible).

It might or might not have endeared him to me for that exact reason. What can I say? I'm a sucker for Leon Orcot, and apparently also for characters that visually remind me of him. ANYWAY.

Why another Nazi-era chapter??? Sensei plz. One was already enough on the original PSOH - it wasn't anywhere near my favourites back then, either - and the fact that this one mostly followed a Nazi colonel didn't help either. Here we witness them tearing down the amber room, "reclaiming" art from all over the world, a father's heartbreaking sacrifice to “save” his daughter’s dog, and Papa D coming to meet the Nazi dude. One would expect the Ds to avoid genocidal racists given the fate of their own species, but apparently the Nazis were relevant enough for not one but TWO Ds to interact with them. Oh well. Either way, I really don't like how Papa appears to not care one way or another - when the D for the original series interacted with people he didn't like, his mask was really fairly obvious (at least for the reader). Perhaps Papa simply has a better mask. Perhaps those nuances were lost to time and round art styles. Perhaps Papa or Sensei just don't give two shits. Guess we'll never know.

EVERYONE seems to comment on the flavour of Papa's tea: it's 4 out of 4 so far for these two volumes, and in this chapter in particular it seems as if it's laced with some kind of truth serum - it seems to be Papa's version of D's (and possibly Sofu's?) incense from the original PSOH. A reference to the original PSOH's Nazi chapter is also made here, with Papa mentioning that Sofu was on friendly terms with Eva Braun: this implicates that in this time they were in closer contact (not surprising since Sofu probably hasn't stolen his still-non-existent kid yet).

The colonel seems to value art over human life - surprise surprise! - so he kills his own comrades to keep the art "safe". A stomach-turning moment comes where they find human golden teeth being kept as treasure, which Papa mentions remelting to turn into golden nuggets. Why, Papa/Sensei, why? It's in poor taste, even if you're testing the colonel the way D did with some of his clients on original PSOH.

At the very least an eerie moment comes next where Papa explains that dead creatures can be revived using DNA. "Even dead people?" Cue Papa's all-seeing stare directly into the reader's eyes (and presumably the colonel's as well) with a backdrop of an inverted black-and-white multitude of graves as he says that future is not very far. Colonel almost shits his pants, with reason when you consider the amount of people the Nazis killed off that would presumably come after them. This almost forgives the teeth comment, and it's probably the first moment in these two volumes when we see some genuine emotion on Papa's face (on this page and the next), creepy and maniac as it might be.

Colonel dude has spent the whole chapter justifying everything under "orders of the fuhrer" so far. Then comes the moment that Papa calls him out by saying that the orders were to burn his sweet dear art so that it wouldn't fall into enemy's hands, and it's here that we see how much of an hypocrite the colonel is when he doesn't want to follow those orders. Suddenly it's "treasures of mankind" (even though he's been stealing them left and right) and the fuhrer is "a fool" (even though he's been using his orders and his "greatness" as justification for everything).

Suddenly, Papa's companion! Who the heck is that! Shoots him! This is someone whose family was killed by the colonel (directly or under his orders) or so he says; he's gripping a piece of art we don't get to see, which is presumably the reason for those deaths. Now in the future! A guy who looks a bit like that other man who shot the colonel, but who I'm not 100% sure if it is or is not the same person because the round art style makes everyone look alike Someone who is definitely not the same guy because his eye colour is different (and who's dressed in a sporty outfit with a long ponytail, which I've mentioned kinda reminds me of Leon) looks for the amber in the place the art was stored, alongside Papa. He flies on the ark (all these humans on the ark, Sofu would have a conniption!) and reminds me of Leon once more while being shouty and holding on to the main mast for dear life.

The sacrificial father mini-plot also gets resolved with the dog returning (but not the father himself) along with a picture with that family. Which is presumably the picture the other dude who shot the colonel was holding, which begs the question: how is he related to them? He doesn't look like any of them, but he did say the colonel killed his family while (presumably) holding that same picture, so hmmm. Maybe he's the dog, colour-scheme aside? But apart from the father, the rest of the family seems to have survived, so it's kind of a strange thing to say since that sort of wording usually means more than one person. Even if he is the dog (my money is on that option), it's not exactly obvious to a reader who's not looking very closely. Some loose ends there, or at least ends that don't really look like they're tied together at all.

"No matter how long winter is, spring will come." Fairly hopeful final words there, Papa D. These echo similar ones spoken by D at the end of Shin PSOH, after running from Leon once more ("someday, the season for returning will come"): perhaps both these Ds are not as pessimistic as to their future, at least at this point? Poor Papa definitely had a change of heart between his series and the ending of original PSOH, unfortunately.

General thoughts: Sensei hasn't quite managed to replicate the feeling of the original PSOH just yet. The storytelling feels a bit shallow and rushed, though the pacing improved from the first volume to the second. There's also very little focus on Papa himself for some reason: he's more of a background character on his own series except for the fourth chapter, which is a very strange narrative choice. In part this might also be because he doesn’t have a permanent companion to discuss/argue with like in previous iterations of the PSOH series. I wonder if the third volume will continue on this trend? I wish it’d delve a bit more into Papa, but either way it’s still nice to get some more PSOH content.

I've heard Vesca will make an appearance next volume, I'm so excited!! Out of Shin PSOH, my favourite chapters were Leon's (surprise surprise!) and the ones with Papa and Vesca on their university days. Papa definitely seemed a lot sharper there, which I miss here - I feel like Sensei has been smoothing out all their edges like with the art style lmao, and in turn it makes them feel a bit lacking since the Ds are not meant to be bland and forgiving and easy-going, at least as per their original portrayal. I've also seen sneak-peaks of Leon and D from author notes of the next volume so I can't wait at the chance to weep at the slightest panel of my son Leon.

A final shoutout to RNS for continuing the PSOH translations! I really can't thank them enough!!

#PetShop of Horrors #pet shop of horrors #psoh #hyouhaku no hakobune hen #papa d #wandering ark #psoh wandering ark #psoh ark adrift #petshop of horrors hyouhaku #howl rambles a lot

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a-non-sequitur · 7 years

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Rogue One: Catalyst: Thoughts

- link to my other Rogue One blabberings -

Finally finished reading Rogue One: Catalyst by James Luceno, or as it's also known by:

Lyra Erso: Badass;

Lyra Erso: They Could Have Easily Created Parallels Between You and Chirrut+Baze in the Film Instead of Ignoring Your Existence;

Lyra/Galen OTP Fever: How to Write a Strong, Balanced Couple While Still Giving Them Relationship Hurdles;

"I'm Thirsty for You and Your D, Galen," Screams Krennic Into the Rain

with foreword by Galen Erso, "Who Is This? And What Does He Mean By My D?"

and annotated by Lyra Erso, *The dickbag is talking about the Death Star, honey.

Tarkin/Krennic: Hux/Kylo Ren Got Nothing On This Hate Couple

and finally: Jyn Erso Is A Normal Human Child: how this makes her future character arc 1000x more painful

NB: Have only seen the RO film and have now read this book. This is going to be long and about 90% quotes related to characterization.

General Impression:

Writing was okay. Not great, but not bad. (This is especially apparent since I've just started reading the RO novelization, and the difference in quality is pretty startling.) Nice quick read.

Lyra is fantastic.

Galen is pretty interesting.

Jyn is adorable and normal, and it breaks my heart.

Krennic is... wow, I just want to laugh because he's so absurd but also a Terrible Human Being.

Tarkin is fascinating (see waaaay below for details).

Lyra Erso

No one holds this bitch down.

"She had no recourse. She wasn’t built to hold things in; to be complacent or compliant."

"Some of Orson’s remarks had made her wonder whether she and Galen were under surveillance, or even whether her personal comlink might be bugged. But she didn’t care either way. Orson may have drawn the line in the sand, but she would be the one to step over it."

Lyra loves exercising and exploring. She wants to go everywhere in the galaxy!

"She needed wind and rain, cyclones, quakes, and the threat of avalanches. Unpredictability. Natural forces at work."

She sees the galaxy with very, very clear eyes.

“Who knows to what ends Dooku might have put this crystal.”// “I can guess,” Lyra said carefully, “since Dooku loosed a droid army on the galaxy.”

"This is the Emperor’s dream,” [said Galen.] // Lyra wrinkled her nose. “Can’t we just call him Palpatine—in private, I mean?

Lyra is probably mildly Force-sensitive.

She was against coming to Vallt, where she and Galen would later be imprisoned, from the start.

"Her reverence for the Force had evolved from an enduring love of nature."

"... even if she wasn’t able to use the Force, she could at least feel it."

"But being pregnant with Jyn—especially while in captivity—had made her aware of the Force in a way she imagined the Jedi experienced: a profound connection with life that went beyond mere understanding."

"...she was secretly glad that [Galen] was no longer attempting to synthesize or create facsimiles of kyber crystals. One might as well try to clone the Force itself, or turn to magic in an effort to simulate the power."

"She would often sky-cab to the Jedi Temple grounds and exercise there, basking in the energy of that elegant site, surrounded by a nexus of the Force."

"The Jedi killed by the thousands, their Temple the scene of a battle, scant survivors scattered to the stars, the Force dispersed…She was as heartbroken as if she had lost a family member, and had cried for hours."

[Saw] pulled his datapad from his pant pocket and showed them the image of a green, black, and blue planet with a wide ring. “It’s called Lah’mu.” / Papa looked at the image and said, “It looks unspoiled.”

this is significant because Lyra talks a whole bunch about “untouched” nature and its strong connection to the Force throughout the book.

Galen Erso

has a very interesting brain

"he felt as if he already held the entire galaxy in his thoughts."

"He had a greater fear of attention than he did failure, refusing even to celebrate his birthday much less receive gifts or acclamation. With romance he was hopeless, pretending disinterest when in fact he was confused by his changing body and how it sometimes took him out of his mind, out of his deep thinking."

"...inability to find refuge even in his thoughts; to find what one of his mentors had called the still point in the turning world."

"He was suddenly lost without his research; torn between uncompromising tenderness for Lyra and Jyn and a sense of burden in being able to provide a flawless future for them."

"In his daily life he would sometimes go out of his way to introduce imperfection—in his drawings, his routines, his attempts at housecleaning—as a means of keeping himself from becoming overly occupied with results."

"It wasn’t that he didn’t wish to see the world as others did; he was unable to. He saw more deeply into things, and was attuned to nature’s own musings and inner dialogues."

"At times it seemed as if, in attempting to unlock the secrets of the kyber, he was trying to decode something about himself."

is very plain-spoken and direct.

"Most would have remembered him as the one who was always speaking out of turn."

"Galen merely shrugged. “Normalcy has taken leave of the galaxy.” / [A scientist named] Herbane’s jaw dropped a bit and he looked at Lyra. “Is your husband always so confrontational?” / “He speaks his mind,” Lyra said."

"But he was a terrible liar; he had no practice in the art. Never wanting to be involved in games, he had always spoken his mind. Where he was forever attempting to simplify his thinking, lying introduced complications."

“You could have at least made him work to get the current data,” [said Lyra, after escaping with Galen from Coruscant.] / “He’s welcome to whatever he finds. I could have sabotaged everything, but I don’t want to give the Empire a reason to hunt us down. We’re simply dropping out—although covertly. Besides, what I left will keep them occupied for a while.” / “Revenge was never your style.” / Galen considered it. “Orson may have worked me, but he didn’t force me.”

Galen has such a rigid sense of principles that even though Krennic had blatantly lied to Galen and was weaponizing his research - the! very! last! thing! Galen! wanted! - Galen didn’t sabotage or delete anything because technically Krennic didn’t force him at blasterpoint.

And this, plus the quote about the inability to lie, makes me see RO!Galen in a whole different light? Because Galen ends up changing fundamental parts of his character because of the trauma Krennic puts him through (aka losing his family). And Jyn ends up irrevocably changed from who she was as a child because of Krennic. And it makes me wonder - what would have happened to Lyra if she had not died? How would she have been changed?

so basically the only reason Galen isn't known throughout the galaxy as a genius of the highest caliber is because he can't write scientific papers.

when Krennic shows Galen the ruins of a facility on another planet, Galen (rightly) assumes that the scientific team there fucked up duplicating his kyber research, causing the experiment to explode. Galen says, "I was very precise in my notes." But when Krennic had interviewed the team a couple of chapters earlier, they said that the data and methods they'd be given "aren't specific enough in many instances" and that provided equations were "in a shorthand difficult to decipher."

Galen sent out his research findings to his colleagues in his own special shorthand without thinking of defining anything

And it's mentioned throughout the book that the way he writes is very rambly and with tangents and he'll write in different directions on a page and cram every bit of space with words

what makes this even funnier is that it's Lyra who he trusts to transcribe his notes. Which means that she transcribes all this down, doesn't get most of what it means but assumes any of Galen's scientific peers must understand it, and sends it on as is. And Galen trusts Lyra, so when she doesn't ask for further clarification on the notes, that must mean they're okay for sending!

like, i imagine galen could never figure out why he never got published, and Lyra's just like, "Honey, they'll realize they're missing out on something great soon." and on another planet, scientific journal editors and peer review boards internally scream when looking at the gibberish this supposedly hotshot scientist is sending them AGAIN and they throw everything into the trash compactor AGAIN because what the fuck they had told him to clarify, not write more nonsense

you don’t understand. this is h.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s.

headcanon:

one way that Galen slows down work on the Death Star is that he takes his terrible research writing habits and exaggerates it to the max. You know how Leonardo da Vinci used to write backwards, right-to-left? Galen starts pulling off that shit ASAP but adds vertical/diagonal/loop-de-loop writing, too.

Krennic had to actually hire codebreakers to be part of the "Transcribe Galen Erso's Notes" team just because Galen's notes became so illegible.

Galen used to take the time to simplify and re-simplify and re-simplify whatever crazy, complicated idea was in his head when he talked to Lyra until she could understand. On Eadu, when scientists and engineers ask for clarification, he'll restate whatever concept in equally if not moreso confusing terms, using long weirdass metaphors. Or he'll just completely ignore them, saying, "Leave me be! I'm at a breakthrough!" And woe be those who interrupt Galen when he's breakthrough-ing.

Dr. Erso is such a nice - if quiet - man, think his coworkers. But every time he writes some indecipherable equation on his lab's boards, they have the intense, passionate urge to wring his neck.

Lyra/Galen, my OTP (with Lyra/Galen/Bodhi being my OTThreesome that will never be, apparently):

They're hot for each other:

"[Lyra] recalled the first time she’d set eyes on [Galen] on Espinar, thinking: If this guy was any more magnetic, pieces of metal would fly across the room and start sticking to him…"

"that what [Lyra] interpreted as hostility was actually a ploy that allowed [Galen] to maintain a safe distance from her while he sorted out what she wanted from him and solved the calculus of their relationship."

"what Galen had found in [Lyra]: his opposite."

"The expedition lasted six local months, and by the end of it they were lovers. She had made the first move, but he had gotten the hang of things very quickly."

aka: Galen was a virgin or with little experience, and the two ended up fucking like bunnies.

They have an incredibly healthy relationship where they respect each other's abilities?!

"With her maternal instincts running strong, she had to resist an urge to intercede [on Galen's behalf]. After all, she wasn’t Galen’s parent; she was his partner."

Lyra to Krennic, who is trying to shame Lyra for making Galen's work "harder for him": “He’s his own person, in any case, and whatever stress I introduce isn’t going to cripple his concentration or interfere with his work.”

"She restrained an impulse to touch Galen or send him any kind of reassuring message. The job was his choice and she was determined to stay out of it."

“I’m hardly sacrificing myself, Galen. Being here was as much my choice as yours.” She looked from Galen to Krennic and back again. “Anything else either of you want to say about my life?”

But are also incredibly devoted to each other and hold the other's opinions in the highest esteem?!

Galen to Lyra, regarding providing his research to the Separatists, who'll probably weaponize it: "Should I simply accept their terms? I will do it—for your sake, for the sake of our unborn daughter. You need only say the word."

Galen, while experiencing moral conflict over his research on Coruscant: "Would Lyra understand? Or would she accuse him of being so driven by a need to measure up to the challenge that he had not only abandoned caution and scientific discernment, but also dragged her and Jyn down with him? What would his legacy be then? Lyra might not see it as a noble lie so much as a grand betrayal."

When Jyn, Galen, and Lyra are doing research on a different planet that ends up being targeted by Separatists, they end up trying to run away from their over-run town but end up being cornered by Separatist droids. Galen is constantly putting himself in between the droids and Lyra/Jyn.

[Galen] turned to face [Lyra]. “I had myself convinced that I was doing it for you and Jyn and to safeguard future generations. Instead I failed as a husband, a father, and a scientist.” He snorted in a sad way, then said: “I can’t do anything about being a failed scientist, but I can correct the rest—if it’s not too late.” / She smiled in encouragement. “Don’t be an idiot. I didn’t fall in love with your research, Galen. I fell in love with you.” / He took her into his embrace and held her tightly, saying into her ear: “I love you and Jyn. You’re all that matter to me.” He’s back, she thought, resting her head against his chest.

Kyber Crystals

How kybers are found:

“In most cases, kybers are brought to the surface by seismic activity—movements along slippage fault lines, and typically only when an oceanic plate is sliding against a continental plate. But even then the movement has to be horizontal. The crystals rise, gathering impurities or other minerals along the way. That’s why it has always been said of kybers that they are more often grown than mined."

Characteristics:

Close and extended contact with kybers is detrimental to sleep.

"Even on the nights when sheer exhaustion overwhelmed his racing thoughts, the crystals infiltrated his dreams. The Jedi were believed to have been able to establish a kind of rapport with the kybers through the Force. Was it possible that the crystals could affect non-Force-users as well?"

“The internal structure is unlike anything I’ve seen. It’s almost a bridge between organic and inorganic, as close to alive as a stone can be—which I suspect is why the Jedi were able to interact with kybers through the Force."

"It warmed as he curled his hand around it, but he knew from previous research that the crystal would show no change in temperature; and he knew also that it would not warm a sheath or a towel or any inanimate object. It responded only to life, even plant life. Which made the Jedi’s use of it to power their lightsabers all the more ironic and mysterious."

"kyber’s mix of transparency and opacity—characteristics the ancient Jedi had referred to as “the water of the kyber.”"

"By rights lightsabers shouldn’t have been able to cut through meter-thick durasteel and yet they could, which lent credence to the notion of their being augmented by the Force itself."

"One Jedi commentator had called the kyber a somnolent stone that needed to be woken up to perform its purpose. But that same commentator had cautioned that the crystal was also easily insulted and a Jedi needed to take care."

Galen: "Now that he’d found a way to alter the internal structure of the crystals, the kybers seemed in turn to have found a way to alter his."

Kyber Necklace

Krennic had showed Lyra & Galen some kyber crystals as a way to tempt Galen to continue his kyber research. Lyra is the one who realizes that they came from Jedi lightsabers. Later on in the novel, Galen reveals that he keeps one of those crystals in his pocket. There's never any mention of Lyra's necklace throughout the book, so I'm pretty sure that Galen gives Lyra the kyber crystal post-escape

WHOSE LIGHTSABER DID IT COME FROM

c'mon, someone write about how that Jedi hangs around Lyra and Jyn as a Force Ghost. please please please.

Orson Krennic

started as an engineer. Helped design/build a bunch of buildings, including on Coruscant

actually thinks, "Vader’s eccentric fashion sense notwithstanding"

[Krennic] turned back to Galen. “I wasn’t born brilliant or especially talented, but I’m capable and I’m driven, and that’s brought me to where I am."

Gotta give him credit: he really is a great manipulator. Tricked Has Obitt - the smuggler who would later smuggle the Ersos off Coruscant - and Tarkin into starting an all-out war between the Empire and an independent star system.

Krennic/Galen

One-Sided As Fuckkkkkk

I tried so hard to figure out how to describe their relationship.

Krennic is a Nice Guy (TM).

Krennics's that Guy who hangs around you a lot and you're kind of ???? about it but don't really say anything for or against said hovering, so he makes this epic love story between the two of you? And gets weirdly jealous around your friends?

Krennic is kinda like the Star Wars version of Severus Snape, with Galen serving as Lily, Lyra as James, and Jyn as Harry. Except the "friendship" is pretty one-sided all the time, Krennic doesn't have any redemption attempts for his shitty-ass decisions, and Lyra was never a bully. Jyn as Harry seems pretty damn accurate, tho.

“except it seems I no longer have to fight your battles,” [said Krennic.] Galen wiped the drink from his face and nursed his fist. “You never did.”

“It can’t have escaped your attention that you have a powerful ally in Orson Krennic,” [said Tarkin.] / Galen raised his eyes from the carpet. “We were acquaintances in the Futures Program. Years ago.”

Quotes showing Krennic's Thirst for Galen:

[After rescuing the Ersos from Vallt:] Once inside, Krennic whirled Galen into an embrace. “How wonderful to see you after all this time!”

“We have to put some meat back on those bones of yours,” he said as he crossed the cabin to Galen, “but I think I could get used to the beard.”

"... and on a couple of occasions [Krennic] had been Galen’s protector in fights or brawls."

[Lyra said,] “You realize that he’s never going to stop looking for you, Galen. You’re in his blood, crystal research or no. He’s never going to let go of you entirely.”

[When Krennic suspects the Ersos are escaping, but Krennic's stuck in traffic.] The anger and despair he had felt in the airspeeder returned and settled on him like a great weight. “Galen,” he said, as if orphaned. Then: “Galen!” shouting it to the busy sky.

Yes, Krennic just shouted Galen's name into the sky.

Krennic haaaaaaates Lyra omg (the feelings becomes increasingly mutual)

Krennic thinking about Lyra/Galen's courtship: "Still, he hadn’t expected the love affair to last more than a couple of months, and was shocked when they wed."

Thinking about the courtship again: "[Krennic was] being entertained by [Galen’s] bright-eyed confession that he had fallen in love. Galen, who would scarcely raise his eyes when a pretty woman entered a room, in love? It had to be a joke. The thought of Galen’s genius being undermined by some grasping creature drove him to distraction."

drove him to distraction

those words were actually written and published

Krennic said, "The Emperor has made reparations and reconstruction a priority, and one way he hopes to achieve this is by being able to provide sustainable energy to worlds that have suffered on both sides of the conflict.” He gestured with his chin to Galen. “Even your own Grange [Galen's home planet].” / Lyra’s brows quirked in a sign of doubt. “This is the same Palpatine who couldn’t get anything done as supreme chancellor?” / Krennic stared at her. “He defeated the Separatists.” / “With a lot of help.”

[When Krennic tries to make Lyra resent Galen for "holding her back":] [Lyra] regarded [Krennic] frankly. “I haven’t put my life on hold, Orson. My career, maybe, but certainly not my life.”

[Krennic said to Galen,] “You know what I find interesting—or maybe ironic is the word. It’s that each of us wants what’s best for you. In a way, we’re competing to make you happy, as old-fashioned as that sounds. And each of us has a different idea about what you should be doing. Especially now that you two have a child, Lyra wants you to be settled on a course that will mean the most for the family—fulfilled in a somewhat conventional way—and I maintain that you’re meant for bigger things, and will continue to do whatever I can to bring opportunities to your attention.” / Galen smiled thinly. “Don’t think I don’t appreciate it.”

[Krennic, regarding Lyra:] "That left only one person who still needed to be broken."

[Krennic said to Galen,] “Don’t you see what Lyra’s really trying to do? She’s using these alleged concerns to persuade you to abandon your research. Her goal is to keep you to herself—to stand in the way of your legacy.”

[Lyra, when thinking about Krennic's machinations:] "Was Galen to become the prize in a contest between them? Well, hadn’t he always been that?"

Krennic also hates Jyn

probably because she reminds him how Galen didn't Choose Him (the Snape parallels are strongggg)

he forgets her name 2/3 of the book and calls her "it" in his head

"Orson tracked [toddler Jyn], his upper lip curled in what seemed disapproval. “She’s feisty.”

“Yes, how is the child?” Krennic asked, all but sneering. “Into everything, I’ll bet.”

"The fact was that work on the superlaser was stalled, and Galen’s insights were needed more than ever. After all [Krennic] had done for Galen! Fame would have come to him. Grandeur. Legacy. Without his science, Galen was a nonentity. And Lyra… Flushed with anger, he peeled his gloves off as he walked and threw them violently to the polished floor. He would leave no stone unturned in the search for them.

Two things:

one: he's walking down a hallway in this scene. he literally throws his gloves to the ground and keeps walking down a hallway. our fave drama queen.

two: i honestly cannot decide whether that last line was a massive piece of dramatic irony purposefully written by the author. It's just... so good?! And hilarious?! Looks like Krennic forgot to give that order on Lah'mu to his troopers.

Tarkin/Krennic: A Never-ending Dick Measuring Contest

"The two officers [Krennic and Tarkin] had begun to circle each other as they spoke. “Our main weapon will have more firepower than ten vessels that size,” Krennic said. / Tarkin looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “Should it ever reach completion.”"

Ok, so I'm not going to get into all the scenes/lines that the two had between them (mostly because I didn't highlight them on my Kindle), but:

the greatest reveal of this book (other than Lyra's awesomeness)

is that the reason the Ersos escaped to Lah'mu in the first place

is because Tarkin facilitated their flight

ok, it's not confirmed, but it's heavily implied

remember that unexpected war I mentioned earlier that Krennic tricked Tarkin into fighting? So Tarkin saves Has - originally Krennic's agent, who betrayed the Empire after being Shown The Light by Lyra - in order to question him, and realizes that Krennic had played both of them. and so Tarkin is PISSED (and relunctantly impressed). And Tarkin knows Has is anti-Krennic. So Tarkin goes, "Hey, I'll let you live if you play as MY spy in Krennic's employees," and Has thinks quickly and goes, "Oh, sure, but let me send out this message to Coruscant to make my return seem natural," and sends a message to the Ersos that BASICALLY says, "Yo, you want me to grab your family and ditch?" Like, five minutes prior, Has had confessed to Krennic that Lyra Erso had Made Him See The Light. Tarkin ABSOLUTELY knew what Has was planning to do.

and that's how Tarkin's dick grew a centimeter the next time he and Krennic compared

Jyn Erso

born on the first day of Vallt's spring.

is technically a Vallti citizen

nicknamed "Stardust" by Galen because her eyes changed colors and "became flecked."

“Stardust,” Galen said. “That’s what’s in her eyes.”

YOU MONSTER:

"Having hurried over to have a look [at the kyber crystals], Jyn said: “I want one!”

“Maybe someday,” Lyra said.

Jyn is an incredibly normal child, and it friggin HURTS to think about what she’s forced to become

3 year-old Jyn used to travel around in the Coruscant research facility on the Star Wars equivalent of a hoverboard. Her parents forced her to wear a helmet. a;lsdkjfasdf socute

She's a pretty independent child, able to entertain herself for hours

She'd run around around with a toy sword in a scabbard and her stuffed animals.

"Instantly adopted by everyone, Jyn—indefatigable as ever—reveled in being the center of attention, entertaining everyone with her antics, watching closely, learning.

There's this kids' holodrama called The Octave Stairway, which Jyn is obsessed with

one: i had to shoo the Discworld reactions away.

two: the story is about this kid Brin who wants to go home, but to go home, he has to go down these eight floors of challenges in a castle. And at the very bottom he'll get the item that will help him fly up through all of those floors and out of the castle and back home

two-a: so in the book, Galen directly compares himself to Brin (he thinks Jyn drew Brin to look like him), and this scene is basically where he breaks down and realizes how he's pushed his family away and he cries and asks Jyn for forgiveness and Jyn is sweet and says, “It’s okay, Papa. Can we follow Brin home now?”

two-b: but you know how in my Second Viewing post I mentioned how falling/climbing (or, more accurately: going down/going up) seemed to happen waaaaay too often with Jyn for it to not be some sort of theme?

two-c: WELL THIS STUPID HOLODRAMA JUST ADDS TO MY CONSPIRACY THEORY. and possibly gives me a better idea as to what the dichotomy symbolizes.

Saw Gerrera

"[Saw] wasn’t shouting, but he might as well have been, such was the force of his personality."

[Saw talking to Has during the unexpected war] “Cheery thought. Throw dirt in your enemy’s face, get crushed underfoot.” / Saw stopped what he was doing and walked over to him. “Look at it this way, Has. If we can persuade enough people to start throwing dirt…” / Realizing that he was supposed to finish the thought, Has considered it, then said: “Eventually we bury them.”

Random Bits and Pieces that Didn't Fit Above

“You [clonetroopers] are never less than predictable,” [said the smuggler Has.] / “Yeah, we’re made that way,” the other clone said.

“Is there some equation that can put an end to all this, Dr. Erso?” one of the shaken insectoids asked. Galen set himself down on the floor to join him.

“If sentient beings were moved by the same laws that govern nature, there might be. But as we’ve come to embody entropy, I don’t hold out much hope.”

A second Lokori countered: “Surely the Jedi have unlocked the secrets of reversing chaos and will be able to outwit nature at its own game.”

“The Force derives from nature,” Galen said somberly. “Against such chaos, even the Jedi are capable of accomplishing only so much.”

oh my god the Death Star project is codenamed "Project Celestial Power" POWAAAAAAH

names of Cantinas: Malicious Moondog on Suba, Contented Krayt on Tatooine,

The Hiitian [a member of the independent solar system that wars with the Empire] agreed. “Occupation? Captain Obitt, you’ve obviously visited worlds that have chosen that route. How is life there?”

Has smiled in solidarity. “I’d rather fight.” Again he glanced at Saw and his fellow smugglers.

“That’s why all of us are here.” The humanoid flexed his feathered back. “What we fail to protect, Captain, we will leave in ruins.”

There's a celebration called All-Species Week on Coruscant

GIMME THE HISTORY OF SPECIESISM IN THE GALAXY

- link to my other Rogue One blabberings -

#rogue one #rogue one catalyst #jyn erso #galen erso #lyra erso #lyra/galen #orson krennic #saw gerrera #star wars #reaction #fanmeta #headcanon #personal post

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bambuizeled · 7 years

Photo

"I will learn to live again, for now I'm breaking All the things I couldn't mend without escaping I will learn to love again I will learn to love I will learn" - “I Felt Free” by Circa Survive

Hey look! It’s Krissy! My first fursona... Or well... One of my first fursonas. Krissy was a German Shepherd because they were my favorite type of dog back I made them. You probably have to have known me for 7+ years to even remember them. Why am I posting them and why did I draw them again? Well... It’s a long story...

Before we begin I just want to say this is not vent art and not even a vent post with what will be mentioned---The followup to this is more vent related anything. This is gonna be touchy. It talks about abuse, manipulations, and stalking lil’ mentions of suicide idealization---Stalking that still seems going on to this day! But we'll get to that...

So... I'll clarify that this happened around back in 2010 and most of this shit took place on Deviantart unless stated otherwise. Sadly this was before we constantly spammed the “PRT SC” button for receipts and shit so much dialogue is lost and some is shit I’ve forgotten. I used to delete my accounts due to being overwhelmed, too.

Sometimes people end up having the wrong person in their lives. Unfortunately, It happens. Stuff like this can happen the most when we're younger and impulsive. Online relationships were an odd concept for me but I found myself getting into one. When I thought I had a good relationship I was going to through a rough time with a abusive parent and wound up in the hospital for an entire week. I remember that day pretty well. Went to school as normal but had to leave early as my mom picked me up and she drove me to see doctor and wound up having to stay in the hospital for a week due to suicidal thoughts. Didn't get to mention "Hey, I can't be online for a long while" on Deviantart to let any of my friends know. So I was stuck in there for a week.

Only to come back online, not wanting to mention the specifics as other people asked me why I was gone for so long---Including my datemate, who wound up suspicious over me being gone. Back then, I never liked mentioning my mental illnesses or doctor’s trips and I still don't really do that now unless I know someone really well or I need to clarify something about my behavior. But back then I hated mentioning my mental illnesses to the point where I often lived in the delusion that I was normal and didn’t need my meds. But me being gone for a week enough for him to decide for us to break up because he met someone else during the same week I just happened to be gone. And apparently their mother got suspicious of me because I lived in another country and was dating their child. The usual "You might be dating someone much older than you case" when it wasn't that at all. But, of course, we had to break up. Coming back to that after a terrible stay in the hospital for a week and dealing with an abusive mother honestly had nothing more than self harm and suicide on my young, teenage mind. But I still didn’t want to mention anything in regards to my personal life so I never explained...

It was less about breaking up and more as to how it was handled. There was a copy-paste note sent out to multiple people---including me. Explaining the whole situation and mentioning that he and I had broke up in a small footnote. And that. Put me on the breaking point and I simply blocked him and planned to ignore him from that point. Of course, my decision immediately caused chaos. He wound up creating a fake account to pretend he was someone else. A brand new account just popping up and someone immediately talking to me? He asked me if he could draw one of my OCs. I said "Sure" and once the drawing was done, I had a suspicion over who it was. And we eventually had a conversation via notes and since I was still sad about the breakup. I was asked if I could just forgive him and I responded with a "no". And then being told it's a good idea to forgive people... Coming from the stalker who had to make a new account, pretend it wasn't him, and then try to make himself look like the victim? Haaah.

So it went back to quietness until there were various journals "calling me out". Mentioning how mean I was or belittling me to the public on journals from Deviantart to Furaffinity. And of course, multiple people would end up disliking me and talking shit about me in the comments. Boy, as someone who deals with paranoia in my adulthood---I wonder how that came to be, eh?

And when I don't let him have his way----He ends up making vent art and ranting about me in submissions! How nice to have something escalate from journals to vent art about me so it can blasted on the front page to DA and FA. It's funny because when the vent art was posted---I was called a "whiny bitch" when this person was the one another account for block evasion, making journals and art submissions that namedropped me no less. While I just stayed quiet because I was going through child abuse and dealing with racism at school and I did not remotely feel safe online when spending time and posting art on Deviantart was one of the few things that made me happy. What a wonderful experience I had there, right?

After all of the ranting, I ended up receiving some sort of apology message from my ex but he used someone else to send it to me via note on FA. Because of all of the harassment---I accepted the apology even though I didn't want to. I wanted this to stop. I had no choice because I was already dealing with a lot in real life. I at least wanted to feel safe on Deviantart.

Eventually we did start talking to each other again in July of 2010... Then there was some sort of fight that my mind draws a blank at in 2011. There was a disagreement over something and it was back to not being friends again, apparently he was the one to end it. Maybe that's why I don't remember? Because it did mean freedom for me after feeling forced to stay with this person. It was probably something meager or something really stupid in his case. But it did go back with me being publicly shamed again so I'll leave that note here as well. Then I was begged for forgiveness once more and I accepted the apology again because I scared.

But you know what did all of the harassment amounted to? This person publicly slandering about how much of a bitch I was for not forgiving him and just deciding to cut ties? Wanting me to go about my life because I was dealing with a lot in my life and my only safe space was being contaminated? You want to know what all of that amounted into? I got ignored and I got neglected. No. I'm not fucking joking.

Each time we cut ties and got back together---There was a bit of talking and then just silence all the way through. It was more prominent after 2011. And you want to know who was the ONLY person to bother with starting conversations with this abusive person? Me. Because I thought we were friends. But we really weren't. No matter what he says otherwise. It was nothing more than a delusion. Constant complaints about me for blocking him when I wanted nothing to do with him only for me to "forgive" apologies because I wanted the harassment to stop. I was forced into a friendship with someone because I wasn’t allowed to make my own decisions without the threat of slander and I was miserable.

So from July 2011 up to June 23rd 2016----I was the only person to say "Hi" or actually try to get chatter going. Most of the time conversations would end in abrupt silences. No replies or anything for over months to years. No updates or anything. Even passively aggressively mentioning me on a Deviantart journal where you answer questions and it asks you who your friends are and for some reason I’m added to the list with some sort of passive aggressive “I know we don’t talk much, but I still consider you a friend”. Yeah, not like he ever bothered to talk to begin with. What a great friend. But mentioning that we don’t talk on a DA journal is more appropriate than starting a conversation apparently. Maybe I was expected to break the ice again but at that point I was not interested in speaking to him anymore. Most of the time, I don’t mind it if me and friends don’t talk for a long while. Heck, there’s friends who I haven’t talked to in over a year and we’re still on good terms. But this.... Is a different case than not talking to someone for over a year or a general long period of time---This is a case of having someone harass you for not wanting to talk to them and when they can talk to you---they ignore you instead. AND THIS HAPPENED TWICE.

So... What happened on June 23rd 2016? I sent him a note, asking him to never contact me or interact with me or any of my accounts ever again. But due to the disrespect for my spaces---Well... That’ll be revealed shortly afterwards.

______________

You'd think me typing all of this would mean I'm mad, right? Hah. When we get to the other part and such---Then you’ll see why I’m mad.

I drew this picture as something that represents me. Or well, a part of me. Specifically the younger part of me---Back when I was about 15 when this all happened. I wanted to draw something light for this topic. Because of dealing with 6 years of that crap. Having this person out of my life and even kicking them out when it was clear they didn’t really care for me from the beginning made me so happy with myself. The entire time I was forced into a relationship that made me feel unsafe and scared. And yet I was still the one to ever bother talking.

All in all; be kind to yourself. Have the right people in your life---Specifically non-toxic people. A mutual relationship with understanding is better than a relationship where it's one-sided and there's too much tension or someone is uncomfortable around you. Breaking away seems scary---And it is. But sometimes you need to break away and heal.

The topic of "healing" and "recovering" can be a scary subject to people. I know I always dreaded the concept for some reason---More so to the concept of me never being able to recover over broken relationships. But when I told this person I didn't want him in my life anymore---I felt free. To cut back any ties that were holding me back. To let go any bad memories that I'd usually think about during my depression spells. (Which did stop during said spells, thankfully.) And I felt so proud of myself finally cutting ties with someone who took me for granted and ignored me.

Sometimes you'll never forgive a person---That lack of forgiveness for someone isn't a "grudge". Whether or not you forgive doesn't make you a bad person. You can forgive the moments to move on. To think my stalker pretended to be someone else and suggested forgiveness where it was not his place to.

Maybe what I say is something people can't relate to. I'm human, and we're all different. And situations are different. Healing and recovery is different for people and different for everyone. So take it all with a grain of salt because what I mention is from my own experience

But do know this, if you ever experience a toxic relationship that ends up with stalking as a result---Please. Take care of yourself and I hope you are well.

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tessatechaitea · 7 years

Text

Green Lantern Loves Space Ghost #1

I hope this stars the talk show version of Space Ghost.

James Tynion IV is writing this issue so I bet it's more serious than it ought to be and it'll probably be full of comic book tropes and Space Ghost will come out as bisexual. The issue begins with a planet in some serious trouble. You know the kind of trouble planets get into in Green Lantern comic books! It's always serious and hardly ever humorous and wacky. Just once I'd like to read about a planet full of sentient penises having to deal with sentient vagina missionaries hellbent on getting the penises to worship their vaginal god. I mean, okay, fine. That's probably a metaphor for a lot of comic books. But I don't want to read it as metaphor! I want to look at pictures of talking vaginas!

So the weapon is a pen? Is that the big Twilight Zone twist? "He's got the only pen on this world and he's writing lies about us! Future generation will read those lies and think we were all jerks! And we can't get the pen away from him because he's locked himself in the bathroom! And we can't get the door off the hinges because the door swings inward! And we can't pick the lock because our greatest technological advancement (aside from the one really sweet pen!) was perfecting the unpickable bathroom door lock! We're doomed!"

I love to toot my own horn so let me say I probably just wrote a better story than whatever Tynion IV came up with. I just got to the page with the credits and I want to apologize to Christopher Sebela for not including him in my critique of the writing. I'm sure you've added nothing to this story that James Tynion IV didn't say, "I was already thinking of adding that! I know Scott Snyder!" I should really meet some of these writers before caricaturing them. Although I feel like I probably nailed Tynion IV. It's just too bad you can't hear, through the written text, the grating, whining voice I gave him. The first few pages are used to establish that the call for help is coming from a place outside of the known DC Universe. Page one is all, "We don't know where we are!" Page two is all, "I'm Hal Jordan and this is a new space and time dimension that I'd like to enjoy!" Page three is all, "I'm Salaak and I'm reminding you that this distress call is coming from uncharted space that we've never explored because it's outside our universe or even further!" Hopefully that's all the reminders this comic book gives us because even I'm not so stupid that I didn't get the message after rereading it all three times because I was sort of confused about where the message was coming from. Now that the location has been established, it's time for some action! Larfleeze makes an appearance, as does Space Ghost and Zorak. How did this comic book get so exciting so quickly?! Was it written by geniuses?! James and Christopher should take that last paragraph as a compliment because it's the nicest thing I'm bound to write today.

Especially if I have to wade through twenty pages of dialogue like this.

Although I wouldn't mind more art like this:

Is this the first time Green Lantern has made a light construct butt plug?

Green Lantern and Space Ghost crash on a planet outside of the known universe (yes, it's mentioned again). It's a planet full of either Robocops, Transformers, or Sentient AT-STs. It might also be a Battletech crossover but since the cover didn't mention Battletech in an effort to get the huge Battletech audience to pick up the comic book, I remain doubtful of that conclusion. The alien Hal winds up talking to (a regular humanoid alien because the robots are apparently just weaponized vehicles) tells his story and it sounds suspiciously like the plot of Life, The Universe, and Everything. Apparently Green Lantern and Space Ghost have crash landed on Krikkit. I could explain in greater detail but if you aren't familiar with The Hitchhiker series, why would I coddle you and your choice to remain ignorant of something so enjoyable? Although, to be fair and objective and other complimentary things that perhaps aren't completely true of me, Life, The Universe, and Everything was the worst book of the bunch. The Perterrans attack Hal because they can't have any evidence showing up on their planet that suggests there is more to the Perterran universe than simply Perterran.

I would have chosen Amanda Waller. But I guess that might be construed as racist or sexist or fattist.

Does anybody need to know my opinion on United Airlines and their behavior this week? No? You all know exactly what I would say already? Good. Thank you for paying attention so I can spend less time writing. Hal gets away so that he and Space Ghost can have a battle. Remember that thing I said about James Tynion IV relying on comic book tropes? Well, here we are with the good guys battling due to a misunderstanding! Only a few pages left before they realize the mistake and work together. I bet Christopher Sebela read the script and was all, "Maybe let's try something different?" And James Tynion IV was all, "Really?! You're going to question my writing! I did mention I know Scott Snyder, right?! Anyway, what do you think of all my great jokes?" And then Christopher was all, "There are jokes?" The two heroes wind up knocking each other out just as some kid named Keila and her robot on a leash (named P.E.T. because of course it is) enter the scene. She takes them away so that they can learn that they're on the same side and also become part of the rebellion, probably. So there's some stuff where everybody decides to get along so the plot can continue. Can we get some kind of Comic Book Consortium to set up official tropes so that comic book story space isn't wasted by them? So the first ten pages of this comic book could have been condensed into one panel that read "COMIC BOOK TROPE 1A." Then everybody goes, "Cool. Space Ghost and Green Lantern fought each other due to a misunderstanding and neither actually bested the other before they realized their mistake and began working together to find the real bad guy. Let's get to the story now!"

Oh no! This story isn't about a secluded planet cut off from the rest of the universe at all, is it?! It's a metaphor for human loneliness! NOOOOOOOO!

It turns out that this planet that speaks English (it must since Hal can understand the aliens without his ring) has only one major difference in their language: weapon means vehicle! They also have the word vehicle for vehicle which enables the alien to easily explain, "Weapon is our word for vehicle." Well, that sure will cause a lot of wacky mix-ups, right?! Green Lantern and Space Ghost probably wouldn't have shown up if they received a transmission that said, "We have a really powerful car and some guy wants to destroy it!" Green Lantern and Space Ghost believe the crazy guy with the rocket ship who sent out the distress call. They decide to back his play to destroy the foundation of the entire culture of this world. That seems like the right thing to do. Truth is always better than stability! I mean, even if you believe that truth is better than stability, is it smart to trust the judgment of one guy? I suppose when the other side has already threatened to kill you, it's probably the best decision. To make matters even more exciting, the military shows up to destroy everybody! It happens so quickly that Space Ghost and Green Lantern are given back boxes holding their ring and wrist bands but the little girl mixed up the boxes! And there's not time to switch! I can't believe I thought this comic book couldn't get wacky! Ha ha! Look at Space Ghost try to use the Green Lantern ring! Ho ho! Look at Hal Jordan try to use Space Ghost's whatevers! They switch back pretty quickly but Hal Jordan discovers his ring is almost out of energy. Like always! How the fuck aren't Green Lanterns getting stranded on backwater planets constantly? Their rings always get critically low or run out of juice because that's the only way to make the fight tense (at least for unimaginative writers like Cullen Bunn and Cullen Bunn). It wouldn't be a problem if the Green Lanterns hadn't stopped using that Storage Locker Planet to keep their batteries nearby in interdimensional space. In the end, Green Lantern and Space Ghost inspire the planet to rise up and believe in something greater than whatever they were already believing in. They inspired the Perterrans to not simply sit back and take it in the ass! What a great story! I'm so happy that people are around to inspire other people or else how will all those other people know that there are other ways to live their lives?! People who inspire are life-saving heroes! I hate stories that glorify inspiration. Inspiration is what people who are too lazy to actually do shit do. It's the acceptance of advertising as the impetus that gets the world moving. "Without a charismatic person singing on a reality television show, how would any young people know that you can become a charismatic person lucky enough to get all the same breaks that that person did so that they could also become an inspiration to inspire people to become inspirations? It just wouldn't happen without inspiration! Nobody can ever be self-motivated or believe in themselves without first being told to believe in themselves! Fuck off! The Ruff 'n' Reddy story is terrible. It's just a bunch of old jokes and stolen material shoved into a framing story of two comedians trying to find new partners whose last names will make a clever pun or saying. That's just an old Mitchell and Webb sketch! So even the framing story connecting the stolen material is stolen!

I'm sure the punchline has something to do with somebody putting their cock inside somebody else's ass. Ha ha.

A lot of the material in the Ruff 'n' Reddy story seems way bluer than I would expect DC to greenlight for a Teen Rated comic book. I guess because the filthy punchlines are either never actually mentioned or were deemed not quite explicit enough, DC Comics was okay with it. I certainly don't mind! I just think it's an odd decision. Especially since the main story is about how Space Ghost is good with kids and how people inspire children to grow up to change the world. I mean after feeling good about how little Keila grows up to become a space explorer, the reader is treated with jokes about chickens fucking eggs, cocks inside asses, and walruses raping seals? Way to go, DC! Oh! There's also a violent depiction of a forced rimjob!

To be completely transparent, I was less upset about this as I was about the stolen Bill Hicks escalator joke! And by "less upset," I mean I masturbated to this.

The Ranking! Overall, I'm almost sorry I purchased this comic book. At least I'll get a few more private moments with that rimjob pick. Ooh la la!

#Green Lantern #Space Ghost #DC Comics #James Tynion IV #Christopher Sebela #Ariel Olivetti #Howard Chaykin #Wil Quintana

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