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discount-limeade · 1 year

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Slipknot: A Review

Part 2

(See Slipknot Vs. Batman For Iowa Era)

Conrad's Ratings On How Well He Thinks The Knot Members can Cook (+ What their favorite Poptart Flavor is)

#0 Sid Wilson

8/10

I actually REALLY fuck with Subliminal Versus hhh

No hair in the food. He's got a Tie on so he MUST know what he's doing. -1 for refuses to use the right noodles for the Dish. -1 Stares at you the Entire time you eat.

Poptart: Blueberry. He peels the Crust off.

#1 JOEY JORDISON

3/10

CANNOT COOK! -2 for does he LOOK like he owns a fucking pot OR a Pan. -1 Only has Ketchup and Half a Coke in the fridge. -1 he "Customizes" his Fast Food Orders. (BK BBQ Sauce on a Crunch Wrap Supreme ETC.) -2.5 for Asks you what you want then says no to every Option until you say what he wants. -.5 put salt in your Drink.

Poptart: Cherry or S'Mores.

#2 Paul Gray

10/10

Classic "Spaghetti Date" kinda Guy.

Homemade Sauce. Garlic Bread and Salad as Sides. No Complaints, he just knows what he's doing.

In a Not Spaghetti Setting, he will Cut your food up for you.

Poptart: Cherry. Toasted with Butter.

#3 Chris Fehn

6/10

Look at him Crackin MAD jokes in this Picture, love it.

-2 for "I love Cast Iron Pans Because you don't have to clean them". YES YOU DO. -1 Too much Salt. -1 can't make Eggs. Look at that picture, man looks like he FUCKS UP some Boiled eggs. But look again and Tell me He knows how to Fry one. Exactly.

Poptart: Berry Blast. Don't even know if that's a Real Flavor but it's his favorite FOR SURE.

#4 Jim Root

5/10

This is a Situation where I think that James, THE MAN, is actually a fuckin Superb Chef. This picture however, not Gonna Cut it.

-1 everything is Spicy as FUCK. Like Run To the fuckin Faucet For water, Damn Near Inedible For some Dishes. -1 for ONCE AGAIN I REALLY don't think this man Washes his Hands. It keeps me up at Night. -1 you made a Comment on a piece of his House Decorations and He Spit in your Sauce. -2 doesn't own Actual Plates or Silverware. Styrofoam Babyyy.

Poptart: Banana. Again, don't know if it's Really, but he looks like he likes That Fake Banana Flavor.

#5 Craig Jones

7/10

I think he'd be REALLY good at Grillin.

-1 for seasons Steak with Salt. Not exclusively but it's part of his Steak seasoning blend, it's just wrong. -1 Grill Brush Bristle in your Burger. -1 wears an Apron that has a print of some guys hairy Chest on it, that man is Wearing Speedos...

Poptart: None. Prefers Apple Toaster Strudels.

#6 Clown

5/10

It's Not that he CAN'T cook, he just doesn't.

-1 for Dirty Dishes. -1 for inappropriate Dinner Conversation. He is telling you about the Process of which This Specific kind of meat is Harvested.

(Personally I'd be Mad interested but Some people can't handle all that YK).

-2 for didn't shower before you came over. Nothing and Everything to do with Cooking. -1 His edibles are Kinda Weak.

Poptart: Cookies N Creme. Cream or Creme?

#7 Mick Thomson

8/10

Nah man, look at this fuckin, LOOK. Got me Gay As Hell.

-1 for the Opposite Cast Iron thing. He soaks it. Unforgivable Really. Now you have to season it EVERY TIME. -1 for He gave you a Mickey Mouse Spoon. -1 for he uses the Microwave A LOT. -1 butter butter butter, beer, butter butter. (This is how he keeps the Meat Moist.)

+2 for Dinner was Served on a Zoopals plate of your choosing.

Poptart: Cinnamon. The Superior Flavor.

#8 Corey Taylor

2/10

This is coming Out of pure Hatred for A post someone made. It Inspired me to make this Whole review. In this post, it was a Picture of the most UNDERCOOKED, UNDER SEASONED, WHITE PEOPLE LOOKIN CHICKEN THAT EVER EXISTED. And it was Some like, thing Where Corey was like, 'Made Dinner'. It was BEYOND foul. I know these Ratings are Based on the picture Provided but fucking -3 for That Post.

There is a Method Of Jacking off Wear you put soup in a Ziploc bag, then put it in a sock to make a Fleshlight. -2 for he served you the Sock Soup.

(I have never Tried this, spare me Please.)

-1 for look how dirty his hands are. Motherfucker doesn't even OWN a Sink. -1 for he Keeps sticking his fingers in the food to Taste it.

Poptart: Fudge. Toasted.

The End.

#slipknot #slipknot review #review #sid wilson #joey jordison #paul gray #chris fehn #jim root #craig jones #shawn crahan #mick thomson #corey taylor #cooking #biased #i'm sorry #about the soup sock thing #its not personal #if yall know what post im talking about please rblg this with it #grillmaster #grillmaster craig jones #can we start making craig normal?#vol.3 #vol. 3 the subliminal versus #the subliminal versus #slipknot volume 3

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