#idk if anyone else ever thinks these things or if I have too uncharitable of an interpretation but this is fucking hilarious 2 me
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The Smurf's comment was literally right there waiting to be dunked on but instead he got greedy and flew straight into the fucking sun.
#ik in the second to last gif he's *actually* worried about his dad I just think this is funny#idk if anyone else ever thinks these things or if I have too uncharitable of an interpretation but this is fucking hilarious 2 me#like it just... this “You can say ANYTHING in front of Jess” posturing was such a weird choice when he KNOWS he's LYING to her and DOESN'T#WANT HER TO KNOW HIS FAMILY SECRETS#another interpretation is Sam trying to avoid a conversation about the family business by keeping Jess in the room#but he clearly didn't like Dean flirting with Jess and he did not catch on after the first line so going with this one lmao
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I read your write up on the recent MRTS and it was really enlightening! Especially the part about how Zhou Le is kinda in a low state of constant sensory overload and his Black and White view point (and his view of “all is mundane until one ascends” and includes himself) is so good. Idk if you were intending to write Zhou Le as a neurodivergent person but after that write up if you reframe it in that context it just. Everything about him makes so much sense???
Okay done yelling (for now) and thank u for such a lovely chapter!
thanks for reading the rambles and the chapter, let me reward you with more rambles
he ended up ND-reading, as a result of his perception of the world and his handling of it. it didn't start out that way until i really thought about it. not unhappy with it at all.
it's interesting, seeing people dislike him from seeing his thoughts. because what other person in this world can't read social cues, guess at other people's motivations and feelings, have uncharitable but blunt thoughts? maybe not to the degree that zhou le does... we're all people and civility is keeping those uncharitable aspects within.
certainly there are more people to dislike if you could read their minds. we all don't want to be judged and seen for our worst. but there's only so much we can control of our image. gotta accept that some people might not like you, and they're not assholes bc of that.
at any rate, zhou le isn't announcing what they see to the world. only if you're causing harm.
i guess it's not fair of me to call it 'black and white'. it's only so because it's easy to tell apart black and white. it's obvious to zhou le (for the most part) what things are. thus he doesn't spend too much time thinking more on it, unless something is in his face forcing him to think more about it.
the tang-jie incident alluded to was much more formative than any other incident (even tho everyone went "ZYF"). you know those moments of stark realization, almost terror-like, when you're confronted with the fact that we all see the world so differently despite sharing it - how will we ever connect? how can people ever reconcile? can you truly believe anyone will understand you?
zhou le had that one quite early. there wasn't foul play with that incident. but he saw something happening that he felt wasn't right, but everyone around him saw nothing else. the proverbial 'monsters in the closet' are real to him.
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I’m torn about all the shouty gendery stuff because on the one hand, I do not literally want to vivisect bodybuilders, but it’s very much a case of
1. This is a problem. Being a bad person is rewarded.
2. There is no diplomatic solution. The creators of the problem are often explicitly anti-gentleness.
3. The only solution is remove the creators of the problem.
And it isn’t universal, there are people with functional consciences here and there, so there are fragments of hope that it’s possible to like, distill that and inject consciences into scum-enablers who otherwise think bullies are right and their victims deserve it.
Some of it is for some reason there has been a streak of human people following and like, I need my Public Screaming Hut but there’s a limit on how piped-into-houses that screaming can be without it being like, intentional knowing harm and one way to drive people off before it gets there is, well, screaming.
Idk ratsphere is too quick to be like “and therefore you should be horrible because women will only glance in your direction if you have gross distended biceps like an uncharitable cartoon of your political enemies who only know bloodlust while you, the enlightened, merely starve people with sanctions instead of beating them into a bloody pulp because then it’s someone else’s responsibility to clean up the body” rather than “and therefore the only valid orientations are ace and lesbian, here are some chemicals in case neither of those is convenient.”
that’s not a good or full solution at all of course and I don’t have the correct metaphysics to actually take the offered pills (that would be appropriation of a good cause for personal benefit) but like, it’s better than 24/7 gaslighting from every part of culture that actually muscles are not disgusting. muscles are in fact disgusting and while i hate the “haha steel good no more softness“ bent of transhumanism i think it would be really good to replace muscles with some kind of compact hydraulic system so nobody has an excuse to inflict buffness on the world again. i would love it if anyone who ever discusses these things would be like “actually, the thing you have to be to win sucks” and ban being the winning thing and people who want the evil winning thing to exist just have to fucking deal with it. There isn’t a magic button that fixes the problem but it would be a great improvement for the problem to be recognized as a problem instead of seeing people get love and respect and prominence heaped on them for being as repugnant and evil and cruel as possible and being like “they deserve it! being overconfident and stupid and not being sentient and liking football and drinking poison drinks are actually positive traits”
i do not know how to get it into people’s heads that masculinity is terrible and should not be permitted to exist but it is true.
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685.
what was going through your mind during the presidential campaign? were you relieved when it was over?
>> This survey is from early 2009 and let me tell you, I don’t even remember the 2008 election anymore. I’ll be fucking relieved when this year’s is over, though (although depending on who wins, the noise might keep going right through the end of the year, so I may get no relief).
what do you think of the Duggar family ( 17+ kids )? could you handle taking care of that many children?
>> I have my share of uncharitable thoughts about families with that many children, but I’d rather not give voice to that kind of rudeness. It’s nothing to do with me, anyway. I couldn’t handle taking care of one child, so that’s that on that.
in your opinion, do you think that you act your age? what do other people think?
>> I don’t know what it is to act a certain number of years old. I don’t know what other people think regarding this and I really don’t care.
what is the nicest thing you have ever done for a stranger?
>> Nothing comes to mind.
so far, what is the number one, best decision you have ever made? how has it effected your life?
>> I find it difficult to think of my life in terms of decisions I’ve made, and direct results of those decisions. That’s just not how things work -- I’ve made choices, but the things that happened after those choices are not necessarily direct results of the choices I made. The element of other people and the element of randomness play equal parts, too.
have you reunited with any old friends recently? was it awkward, or just like old times?
>> No.
when was the last time you talked to your first ex?
>> ---
how different is your online personality from your offline personality?
>> It’s the same personality, dude. It might manifest somewhat differently because of the difference in communication style (typed dialogue vs face-to-face dialogue), and that’s all.
have you made any headway on any new year's resolutions?
>> I don’t make resolutions.
what are your favorite holiday-themed movies?
>> It’s a Wonderful Life, Rise of the Guardians, Klaus, Love Actually.
do you listen to christmas-/winter-themed music when the season comes around?
>> I sure do.
if you could create a law, what would it be, and why? what if you could take one away? which, and why?
>> I have zero interest in the law.
is there anything that you do that's potentially controversial?
>> Well, sure, depending on one’s worldview. I’m sure some special people out there don’t think I should even be alive, in which case my very existence is controversial.
would you ever sign up for a reality television show? if yes: which one, why, and how would you act while on tv?
>> No. Absolutely fucking not. NO.
what is your most recent obsession?
>> Hmm... Heartman from Death Stranding, maybe. Low-grade obsession, but it counts.
do you say "merry christmas" or "happy holidays"? to you, does it really matter which one is said / you say? do you do your best to remain politically correct?
>> I repeat whatever is said to me first, because that’s usually how such interactions go -- I rarely initiate any sort of seasonal greeting like this.
if you could relive one week of your life, which would it be, and why? would you do anything differently, or keep it all the same?
>> I would really rather not.
is there a part of your life you wish you could remember, but can't?
>> Sometimes I get frustrated with the patchiness and distance, so to speak, of my memory, but I’ve come to expect it. Most of these memories aren’t specifically mine, after all.
what was the last thing / event to trigger a painful memory?
>> A lot of my memories are painful because they make me feel alien and disjointed, or like I’ve “lost” something important, or whatever. So, like, I don’t know if anything triggers that, sometimes I just randomly remember shit.
if you had to give up one of your 5 senses, which would it be?
>> No thanks.
what do you think of people that choose not to vote?
>> I don’t think anything of them. That’s their right. The fuck do I care? Also, I was one of those people until very recently, and I still don’t feel any better or like a better citizen or whatever for having begrudgingly registered.
are you keeping anything from the people you love?
>> I mean, not intentionally, I guess.
have you ever written a suicide note, whether joking or not?
>> No.
what is the worst physical pain you have endured?
>> Cramps.
what is one thing that you want other people to know about you? why is it so important that someone knows this?
>> Meh.
what is something you wish people DIDN'T know about you? what would be different if they didn't?
>> I have Trauma Brain so I irrationally wish no one knew anything about me because vulnerability bad.
what is the worst question that someone could possibly ask you? what about the worst thing that someone could say to you?
>> *shrug*?
would you consider yourself a sensitive person? why, or why not?
>> I don’t know. Maybe there is a sensitive person in here somewhere, but it’s buried in all the noise from Trauma Brain. Or maybe Trauma Brain is the sensitive person turned in on itself. I don’t fucking know, next.
you can spend the day with anyone, living or dead; who do you choose? what do you do / where do you go?
>> ---
when was the last time you let something 'go to your head'?
>> I don’t really know.
when are you most likely to show off?
>> I don’t show off. I have nothing to show off, lol.
which would you prefer: spectacular view of the ocean, or of the mountains?
>> I like both views. I don’t see why I should have to choose. I live on a landmass where you can easily make trips to see both. (Well, considering travel expenses, “easily” might not be the right word. But.)
do you follow any dating rules / play any dating games?
>> No.
when was the last time you felt extremely confident about something?
>> Good question.
how do you, personally, know when you are falling in love?
>> ---
when was the last time you blew the seeds off of a dandelion?
>> Maybe last spring? I don’t know. I do enjoy doing that very much, though.
in your opinion, which holiday is the least important?
>> All of the United States-specific ones are just. Trash.
what was the last thing that happened that you couldn't explain?
>> I can think of an explanation for anything. Whether the explanation makes any sense to anyone else but me is the question.
what do you do with all of your spare change?
>> ---
where did you hear about your all-time favorite band?
>> ---
how many cans of soda do you drink in a day?
>> Zero.
what is your idea of paradise?
>> I never bothered thinking of one. Maybe Inworld is the closest thing.
what do you think goes on in the minds of the opposite sex?
>> You know. Thoughts.
what is the oldest thing that you own? and the newest?
>> I have no idea what the oldest thing I own is, but I guarantee you it’s not more than 4 years old. The newest thing is an eyeshadow palette and a lipstick that Sparrow got me.
is there anything you wish you had never found out about?
>> Probably.
describe your handwriting?
>> I don’t know how to describe it. It’d probably be pretty difficult to forge.
have you ever had to choose between friends and family? if yes, what happened?
>> No.
in what ways has music affected your life?
>> Many ways. It’s a very integral part of my life and has been since childhood. It’s the one constant (aside from Inworld).
what is something that you refuse to believe in?
>> I don’t refuse to believe in anything. Some systems just don’t work for me so I don’t use them. They might exist for someone, but they don’t for me.
what is something you wish more people believed in?
>> ---
what food is your ultimate comfort food?
>> I don’t think I have one.
have you ever put anything inside a time capsule? what?
>> When I was pretty young, I tried to make one. But I opened it within like, a year. I couldn’t imagine waiting for like... ten years or whatever because I couldn’t even fathom that kind of time, lmao.
how did you come up with your bzoink screen name? what would you change it to, if you could?
>> It’s just one of my standard usernames. I really only registered to avoid seeing that “this is a rated R survey” screen and having to click through it every time.
when was the last time you experienced deja vu?
>> I don’t remember. Maybe never.
what do you do when someone snarkily corrects your grammar?
>> Ignore them.
what was the last thing that you put quotations around?
>> Part of my answer three questions ago.
in the time it took you to fill this out, what else could you have done?
>> Well, it’s taken me a half-hour, so I could have done a lot of things in that time. Watched a show episode, eaten, done a dance, idk.
is there too much violence on tv, or are people to sensitive?
>> There is a lot of violence on television. People should be sensitive to violence, because desensitisation to violence has led to a lot of bad shit. Personally, I’m mostly desensitised to fictional violence and that probably is becuase I’ve seen a fuckton of it, but fictional violence isn’t the same as real-life violence, and I would probably still react more acutely to violence that’s literally happening in front of me.
what is one "junk food" you enjoy?
>> I refuse to label foods like this. It’s reductive and unhelpful.
what is one "health food" you enjoy?
>> ^
what is something you used to fear, but no longer do?
>> Thunderstorms.
who was your first hero?
>> ---
is there anything your friends won't let you forget?
>> No?
is there something you have trouble putting into words?
>> There are many things I have trouble verbalising.
when was the last time you were at a loss for words?
>> I don’t remember.
what bothers you most about getting older?
>> The increased likelihood of disease and infirmity.
have you ever flown all by yourself? how was it?
>> Many times. It’s lovely.
if you have one hour left to live, how do you spend it?
>> ---
do you think it's important to know a 2nd language?
>> Sure, but it might not be important to someone else, and that’s fine.
do you know anyone that's just naturally good at almost everything?
>> No.
do you know anyone that's just bad at everything?
>> No.
what is one emoticon you use often?
>> xD
what is one emoticon you almost never use?
>> Hmm.... I can’t think of one.
do you use emoticons to express yourself?
>> Sure. That’s what they’re there for.
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