#idk i often get worried that the stuff im writing is weird or im spamming the dashboard so the fact that u Want them is cool to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boxwinebaddie · 4 months

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me giggling and kicking my feet whenever i see the "(THIS IS A VERY LONG ASK)" message right before the read more 😍

AAAAAAAA!! PLEASE!!! literally I!!! was giggling and kickin my feet when I!!! got This ask message!!!! you are so sugar sweet, my darling!

( also, i really needed this today; the other guy who does my job is out today [ smh ] so it's only 9am where i am but i'm on my Second Cup of coffee because i have to cover a BAJILLION classes today...cryin )

no, this is seriously made me soooooo happy!!! bc i get worried that the messages are too overwhelming & i'm throwing way too much at you at once, so its very validating to know you like them so much!!! c:

i literally LOVE LOVE LOVE writing them -- i'm sure u can feel the passion which tbh is more like criminal insanity oof -- i think they're so fun and its nice to share something i love with people i love!!!

AKA all of you :)))) <3333

rlly the reason they're so long is bc i have mental problems, ofc, we already kno this, but also i feel like its important that, if you guys take the time to ask me stuff, that you get all the information i can give ya!

because you deserve it and i don't want you to feel confused ever. xx

( my storylore gets rlly complex/weird...so it can def be Perplexin rip )

i actually only like answering questions when i feel Strongly abt the answers ( which is why i held off on answering all the tkak/tsot questions until right now which...thank god bc theyre Girls now, lol!!! )

i also put a lot of love and my heart into those answers, honestly, its kind of a vulnerable thing to put urself out there like that: so it makes me feel really seen and treasured when you guys send me excited anons about receiving all my insane feelings and thots abt my fics!

which needless to say my angel, and all my angels, thank you for being fans of my fictions, interested in my crazy lore, waiting for my stuff and cherishing my cracked out ask answers. everything i do, i do for you my loves! and i am glad that my answers aren't Too Much.

-uncle nina, who again, really did need this today <3

#this made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside #thank you baby #i am literally dying today the children of the corn are being so loud like brother i have a MIGRAINE CHILL OUT #anyays love them but oh my god i was going to bash my head in with a rock when i got this lmao #IM GLAD YOU LIKE THE LONG MESSAGES I LITERALLY GOT NERVOUS THAT THEY WERE TOO INTENSE #but like if u ask me specific qs i want to make sure u get detailed and specific answers bc i want u to have Content!!!#idk u deserve everything i can give u and i really like detail so im glad u guys also really like detail!!! i am Passionate okay #esp now that im writing a lot less my ask memes are my way of giving yall little stories/info abt my fics even when im not upHating #but yeah i like to be thorough and im glad you like that bc its hard for me to write short answers...i am a kp girl sometimes and like INFO #thank u for being excited abt my stuff that makes me excited abt writing my answers i feel so validated #idk i often get worried that the stuff im writing is weird or im spamming the dashboard so the fact that u Want them is cool to me #basically i love u i love u i love you THAAAAANK YOU BABES #ALSO IF YOU SENT ME A MESSAGE ASKING ME TO UNDIVORCE RAVESEY HAHA NEVER!!!#just kidding lmaooooooo!!! i will do it and i see them its gonna take a second to block out all that dialogue #hang tight besties #BUT LEGIT WHEN I TYPED THAT BEING TKAK MESSAGE I WAS LIKE THIS IS CRAZY I GOTTA DELETE THIS but just for u it can stay #side note sorry i'm being insane on pinterest i'm having a lot of feelings abt the tsot toxic yuri smh

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hanabiira · 4 years

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THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Bunny AGE: 26 CONTACT: IM & Discord

CHARACTER(S): OCs, and technically Kensei but I have neglected him as of late.

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Bleach

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR: None that I’ve actually written yet but I have an Avatar LOK AU for Miki.

MY LANGUAGE(S): English, no other languages I can fluently write in. I can read hiragana and katakana and very basic elementary kanji.

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sports / Music / Science / Fight / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc.

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: one-liner / 1 para / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA.

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS (for OOC questions only) / PERSONALS (for OOC questions only) / ANONS. (for OOC/IC questions)

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?: YES (please do!) / NO only by Mutuals?: YES / NO.

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: crack / casual nothing too deep / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK.

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?: YES / NO.

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?: YES / NO / SOMEWHAT

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / months / years. / DEPENDS ON MOOD AND INSPIRATION, AND IF I’M BUSY I

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS (if I know the fandom) / MULTI-MUSES / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: Tumblr IM or if you know me, discord. Once you have my discord there’s no reason to IM me really. I’m more likely to notice a message from discord than tumblr since I have discord on my phone and laptop.

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: I mean, if we’re actively plotting something I at least expect some back and forth?? But if it’s just general spewing of shit about stuff our characters might do I don’t necessarily expect it to become a thread or anything. Sometimes I just like to scream and think about stuff with other people lmao.I don’t even really expect plotting all the time, unless you have a really good idea then I’m all for it!! totally!! I love a good plotted thread but I am also cool just going with the punches.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?: If the person doesn’t seem into it I’ll probably just drop it? I’m not going to pressure anyone into any sort of rp they’re not vibing with, it’s fine.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?: I love that this meme assumes I plot a lot lmfao. Uhh...I find it quite difficult to come up with a lot of different active scenarios or stories but I do frequently like to discuss what ifs between my characters and whoever I’m talking to and that often can evolve into an idea for a thread which I am all for taking places. I wouldn’t necessarily call it plotting because it doesn’t always have to turn into something, but its just fun little banter about our characters and their reactions. If I am trying to buckle down and plot I will do my best to contribute to whatever we’re trying to plan?

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: I won’t be mad, just be like ‘hey can we drop this?’ and I’ll be like “cool”. I get that sometimes you just can’t find the words to reply to something and that’s ok. But just let me know so I’m not sitting there waiting for a reply I’m never going to get.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: Either an natural ending of the thread or I just....can’t think of any juice to keep it going and get stuck behind a wall. I am MORE than happy to start something fresh and new when threads are ended or dropped!

- WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

- AND WHY?: I think a lot of misunderstanding stems from a lack of communication. Do I talk OOC with ALL the people I rp with? No, but If I have concerns or questions about a thread or something we’re doing I am 100% going to talk to them about it to make sure nothing gets misconstrued. I get people get anxious but like...if you have the balls to write a character on the internet with a stranger you can send them an IM if you have a questions/concerns. None of us are mind readers, so don’t leave your partner in the dark about your thoughts and feelings. Obviously if they are writing with you they don’t hate you. 90% of us don’t bite and are just lame nerds behind a computer screen, so....

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: I mean, I’m not going to LOVE hearing something negative but if its a valid point or concern I’m absolutely going to listen to it and try to rectify it? Problem is a lot of people thinly spew hate or baseless negativity and then thinly veil it as “criticism” that stems their personal feelings about a character than it really is anything constructive, which is a no go for me. Will I 100% always agree with how everyone else plays their characters? No, but if its not hurting anyone and they’re having fun I’m not going to say anything to them. I 100% welcome constructive criticism or tough questions! It’s one way to improve.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: My goal is really just to have fun and enjoy myself. The longer I am here the less I am worried about doing big deep threads or having amazing fancy graphics for that RPC clout. I’m here to have fun with my friends and play my OC that I love. Again, I don’t profess myself to be much of a writer so I’m not technically here to really further and deepen my writing skills. That sounds bad, I don’t mean to say I am adverse to improvement and I am always looking for ways or feedback that could make my storytelling better, but it is not my main goal or reason for why I rp, if that makes sense. Telling a narrative has always been something that’s been difficult for me (I HATED having to write stories in school and avoided creative writing like the plague) but I really welcome ways that could help me be better, because it hasn’t always been something natural to me.

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS: I YEARN for a good thread with a Shunsui about Miki taking over the 8th division and how she changes it since his time there. She really worries about still holding onto his legacy while also making a name for herself and differentiating herself from him and how he ran things and would really want his feedback and approval. I would also really love if there were some characters that really took an interest in the kinds of stuff she does with the things she grows in her garden and greenhouse. It is more than just “ooh, look at the pretty flowers” and it is not really something I’ve gotten to explore despite my time here.

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE: Anything gross. Rape/noncon/underage/furry or weird extreme fetish shit. I 100% do not vibe with racism, transphobia, homophobia, etc. I do not mind some darker themes but I don’t really have any interest on writing any threads where Miki is deeply deeply hurt or tortured or anything like that, which kind of falls under the gore category. Will I write her injured and do I welcome some kinds of sparring/fighting threads? Yes. But I won’t subject her to gross violence and having the shit being beat out of her. Miki is not infallible but I don’t want to write it.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: Starters that are too open ended, start with a general with a question and/or little scenario building. You know like the “why are you here”, “what are you doing”, “who are you” sorts of starters. They’re boring and I will most likely run out of ways to keep going with them. Set a scene for me and I will have a much easier time!

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?: That’s a good question...Miki tends to like friendly people (obviously) but also gets a kick out of interacting with cold or difficult to talk to characters (think Soi fon, Kensei, Byakuya etc) because she sees it as something of a challenge. She wants to see if she can befriend them. I also like characters that have an interesting theme or shitck .

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?: Characters that are not really in her age group (think the karakura kids). I have the most difficult time thinking about how they might even interact in a way that is not on the most superficial level. Also characters that I can’t realistically see her meeting or running into.

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I am pretty easy to reach OOC, and once I’m in I’m in. I love talking about our characters interactions and will spam you with asks and shit if that’s what you want. I will talk all day about our characters if you let me. I will send you stupid memes. Even if I am not posting on tumblr I’m easily reached through discord. And Idk my oc is good??? maybe???

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I would say I’m inconsistent? I know its covid times right now but I do work a full time job that takes a lot of my time and energy usually and I absolutely can’t write when I’m mentally exhausted. It won’t happen. So there may be times where you just won’t see any posting from me and it may take a long time for me to answer a thread or ask. As much as I also don’t like to label myself this way...I guess I technically do suffer from chronic pain (I have a hip malformation), and sitting is one of the things that really can exacerbate my hip and back pain meaning sometimes I just can’t tolerate sitting at my desk for very long or even sitting up in my bed which really prevents me from writing sometimes even when I want to. I wish mobile draft writing was better lol

DO YOU RP SMUT?: YES / NO/ DEPENDS.

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO.

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: Too much smut is boring, obviously, and I’m not really a fan of smut really just for the sake of smut and threads like that tend to die for me. And I also don’t rp smut with just anyone, there has to be an established relationship between the characters. But if it flows with the story and it makes sense for the scenario then yeah, I’m down for a good smut thread.

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?: I’m pretty vanilla and I didn’t really give Miki anything that’s really nonstandard. I’m not going to shame anyone for what they’re into or their characters but there’s just kinks I couldn’t convincing write, would be ooc, or I just would be too embarrassed. So far I have not run into anything weird though.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?: YES / NO

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES?? / NO. Though I mean ship not in a strictly romantic ship sense. I value all ships as in friendships and other relationships, mentor mentee, etc. and it really helps drive story for both characters I think. Miki CRAVES FRIENDSHIPS!! SHE WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND!! LET HER!! Even negative relationships have value.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF (ooc stuff).

ARE YOU: Multi-ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship — Multiverse / Singleverse.

- WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?:

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. - As long as its discussed before hand or is easily implied (say like, an 8th lieutenant).

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: Miki is unique, I’d like to think. She is a blend of soft and gentle, but also stubborn, opinionated and desperate to prove that she shouldn’t be messed with. I basically wanted a character that just seemed like a living and breathing springtime breeze. I’m not saying necessarily that some of the tropes she holds are entirely unique to the series, but I think its the blend of all her aspects that make her different compared to other canon characters. Plus if you love that plant and flower aesthetique™ you have come to the right place. Plus she takes it further than just an aesthetic or a surface level “I like flowers” aspect of her personality. It runs so deep and she is so passionate about it in so many different ways.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?: Again, ones that I can’t find much of a commonality with so those who are not her age or are strictly human. Though it is not impossible to interact with humans, I prefer to develop her story within the scene of the Seireitei. Also characters that are super volatile and aggressive.

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?: Peace, accomplishment, happiness mostly. Miki wants to be recognized for her hard work as well as desires to form positive relationships with others. She wants the Gotei to feel less disjointed.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?: The way they talk, their facial expressions, their eyes.

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?: Kindness, determination, drive, sense of humor.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?: Plants, flowers, flower arranging, gardening, poisonous plants and their potential affects and uses, tea, shitty jokes, food, general day to day gossip, handsome men (lol), books, kido and other shinigami arts, human world stuff.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?: Math, long convoluted talks about history, people who talk too much about themselves.

- DID THEY EVER GO THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?: The thousand year bloodwar. The death of a romantic partner. The death of her mother.

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?: It’s really hard to imagine a scenario where Miki would immediately go in for the kill zero questions asked with no context. Probably only if it’s someone known to be a threat, has done things that are terrible, and is likely to continue being a threat to others or is actively killing/about to kill someone else.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?: Birds. Hypocrites. Super self important people.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: Just roll up on her. She’s easily found in her barracks.

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: uuuuuh she bean.

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by: @bazzardburner technically but for quincy miki which I will also tweak and post there.

#(.:✿:. Bunny Mumbles; ooc )

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she-toadmask · 4 years

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So the post I literally just reblogged I didn’t feel like rambling in the tags and making a mess for anyone looking for something else

(Fuck I went on forever under the cut this goes everywhere fast)

Before Sword and Shield came out, during their hype season, I had this really silly fic idea where 3 girls that were kind of versions of myself and also kind of not (like one of them was going to be Asian at one point which...I have no idea why it just was what I was planning, if I did it now they would be all as white as my indoor ass) would just suddenly be in Pokemon and it kind of went between being Galar and not being Galar

The youngest was kind of mostly an Ash expy, just really quick to do things and really energetic and excited; the oldest was just this very serious girl who was very strategic and stern and did not agree with the middle; the middle was just kind of...not exactly my depression but just way less into all of this and was kind of just following because she didn’t have anything else to do.

I thought of it again recently and thought about how their battle styles would be different if they were doing the gym circuit, though how the middle got in and what her starter would be (kind of thinking she would end up with a Blipbug somehow and I had another Pokemon in mind but I don’t remember what it was) because the young one would get Grookey because energy and loud, Hop would have Scorbunny because fire type like Leon, and the oldest would have Sobble and I eventually decided the other day when I was thinking about the idea again that it was because she had done copious amounts of research and decided that Inteleon had a battle style close to what she wanted to do. The young one would just go head-on into battles like Ash does because young and dumb, she would just be super enthusiastic and a little performative, and she would get team members just the way most people do, just encountering a Pokemon (or sometimes getting a fun interaction with energy n shit) and now they’re part of the team. The oldest would be super strategic and, instead of just ramming into the problem with the most force she could like the younger, would look at more detailed strategies. Less ‘spam your strongest move and then also do the anime style shit’ and more ‘strategic planning based on the species’ strengths and the opponent’s style and team’. She would look for strong Pokemon and have what she wants in mind before catching. The middle just...I haven’t really gotten her thing down yet? I know she just kind of catches Pokemon who seem to vibe with her on an emotional level (hence Blipbug, starts small and nervous and then ends up pretty dang cool, I think another was a female Kirlia who wanted to evolve into Gallade but couldn’t so she gave the Kirlia a necklace with an Everstone and helped Kirlia train to fight like a Gallade and there’s a bit of a theme with self-acceptance and growth but idk) and she more just kind of goes with the flow in battle and tries to just get the vibes n stuff. She’s the least likely to dynamax of the three, though if I were to watch the recent anime I might get a different idea. The story would be from the middle’s perspective (probably third but still focusing on her) just because she’s not as enthusiastic about all this as the others are and is just going along because it feels like that’s what she’s supposed to do. None of them really nickname their Pokemon probably, but the middle probably has unofficial nicknames like calling her Kirlia ‘kid’ a lot of the time, but that isn’t really a thing so much as I thought it would make sense.

I don’t know most of the stuff other than at the beginning the youngest rushes off to meet Leon and get her starter and the oldest is not too long after, but she doesn’t bother to wake the middle one up so the middle one doesn’t get a trio starter, hence the likely Blipbug partner. The youngest apologizes but is too excited to really talk too much, the oldest is just rude like ‘well you should have gotten up then.’ Also in the mines, the oldest and youngest split off to explore or look for Pokemon, but the middle just wants to get through and rest so she encounters Bede. There has to be an encounter later on when Kirlia should have long evolved if she was going to, and Bede is kind of mocking about it and the middle just wipes his team with Kirlia because that’s just a dick move. Also middle at some point when they hear that Bede beat Hop in a battle and just ruined his self-esteem, the youngest challenges him to a battle, the oldest probably is acting as ref, and it’s the middle one who goes to find Hop and check on him and stuff. If I were to actually write it, there would probably be some really good talk about living up to expectations and stuff and it doesn’t fix everything but it makes Hop feel less like he’s a disgrace to his brother.

There would also probably be more plot ish stuff? Like Rose actually doing bad shit? And I can tell you that the fact that the region is so linear can totally be spun as a control thing and I can pull back in that pre-release (and sometimes still in some content I’m certain) theory of Rose rigging matches so Leon would go undefeated. Otherwise we just get the gang calling him out on his bullshit with the 1000 years away, but both is good.

In the same vein of Pokemon fanfic but totally unrelated, I had some idea about a human from our world dropping into the Pokemon world and the thought about durability. Like in the anime we regularly see Team Rocket getting yeeted with the twinkle and they’re right as rain next we see them, and the number of times Ash has gotten shocked or burnt or whatever is absurd, so Pokemon world humans have to be way more durable than we are. I just had the thought that the human dropping in would realize that everyone is way more durable than they were and just try to avoid battles and stuff as much as they could because their body just can’t take the beatings that some trainers take. And like they would have to try and figure out how to dodge the fact that they’re always so distant from Pokemon when they aren’t calm and stuff. A tackle that might just take the breath out of a Pokemon world human could break one of their ribs. It was just a weird idea I had once.

Pokemon isekai again, I was thinking at one point that if I were to go into Pokemon I probably wouldn’t want to be a trainer or a professor, like I had these ideas of what I might do instead that was still really positive and involved Pokemon. The more wishful one was me being basically a crazy cat lady except with Eevee and the kids in the town would get them as starters. Aside from the Eevee themselves I would have a Flareon, an Espeon, an Umbreon, and probably a Leafeon. Flareon and Leafeon being the parents of most of the Eevee, and Espeon and Umbreon being accidental friendship evolutions before I started giving all the Eevee Everstone collars to prevent more accidents. The other was also kinda wishful but more feasible probably and was just like me being a berry farmer. (I just found my notes so I can give the Pokemon I wanted: Eevee because it’s my favorite Pokemon and it’s small and cute, a Tropius because neck fruit and also can reach berries and help harvest, a Flareon to cook berries apparently, and a Squirtle to help water and harvest.) Super wishful stuff and it still resonates, despite the fact that I’m even less active now than I was when I first thought of this stuff. I just want to have a nice peaceful life with nice Pokemon and be able to just be calm and happy. Yeah some evil team might try to destroy the world or something, but more often than not, someone comes along and helps out.

Unrelatedly my friend said the other day when we were talking that if we were to move in together in an apartment because we’re best friends and it’s cheaper to live together (also it wouldn’t be dating because even if she does turn out to be bi her girl type is buff girls and I am a twig) that she would cook and I would bake and just the idea of us living together and having stable jobs and having a cat if they were allowed and just...it sounds so nice and so many things if I think realistically like my current mental health struggles and the US being a dumpster fire and the pandemic and the US being fucking insane it just feels like it couldn’t happen and it’s just

(IT GETS REALLY BAD BELOW HERE JUST A WARNING SERIOUSLY ITS REALLY BAD)

I want to be happy but it feels like I can’t do that and I have so much shit piled up that I have to do and my medicine isn’t doing what it did at first so I guess my body got used to it like how people can get caffeine tolerance but ive had it less than a month so idk am i just fucking up that much it just fucking sucks i just wish i could stop having to worry and just live in a hole with my safe corners of the internet and my video games and a couple people online to talk to so i dont get too too lonely and just im not doing well and college is bad because my depresso is being super bad now and tonight i feel like im wasting my parents’ money because im just not doing what i need to do to exist as a student and it just feels like too much and i dont want to do any of it anymore

#untagged #delete later #vent

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sociallyawkward--fics · 6 years

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Blueberry blue, mauvelous, cosmic cobalt, rose dust, cornflower, shadow blue, World Wide Web yellow, glossy grape, candy apple, Granny Smith apple, robins egg blue, shocking pink, asparagus. (I know you said not to apologise but there are so many I asked) -H

(lol it’s fine!!! I like the attention!!)

Blueberry Blue: Do you get sad easily?

Ummm, I honestly don’t know? Like, it’s hard to tell because 98% of the time there’s just this undercurrent of negative feelings. I guess it’s not incredibly easy to deliberately make me sad, though? I mean, after a while you start to get numb to certain types of hurt lol.

Mauvelous: Do you think you deserve a better life than you have now?

When I’m thinking clearly, that’s a big thought I have. When I get bad, I talk myself into believing that I deserve this lol.

Cosmic Cobalt: What’s your zodiac sign, and do you think it’s accurate?

I am on the change date between Sagittarius and Scorpio, so I can be both/either. Honestly, though, I don’t buy into all that horoscope stuff. Like, there are aspects of all of them that apply to me, but I don’t fit into any of their neat little boxes (big shocker, with a freak like me lol). Unless it’s as a joke, I’m not hugely into the zodiac/astrological signs stuff. I’ll take my legit astronomy over that pseudoscience, thank you lol (no offense to people who are into it!!)

Rose Dust: Describe your aesthetic in five words or less.

Memes, trash, and space.

Cornflower: What do you think about the most?

My love for my friends/my friends in general, cosplay, writing, fandoms

Shadow Blue: Do you have a darker side to you that most people are unaware of?

I mean, probably. There are obviously thoughts I never share because I don’t want to worry people. Plus, there’s still parts of me that are abusive and I’m still trying to fix that. I’m not a great person, but I’m not a “dark” person either. Like, yeah I’m morose and negative and pessimistic, but I try really hard not to be bad.

World Wide Web Yellow: What was the last thing you looked up?

The Sanders Sides ao3 tag lol

Glossy Grape: Recommend something to your followers.

Check out my good dude @wisepuma23, their fic is great

Check out my good dude @metaphoricalpluto, their art is great

Check out my good dude @shatteringangels, their WIP novel is great

Check out some cosplay accounts (luminousfoxcosplay (my buddy yessss), actualyohane, ashuri_senpai) on Instagram for some great content

Candy Apple: How do you think others view you?

Um, I’m not sure. I mean, I’m in a bad headspace right now (I was already feeling bad and then I read some stuff with Deceit as a Big Character and Love Triangles with my bois and now I’m like Wow, Bad Idea), so I kinda feel like no one sees me as great since I don’t see me as great. Like, I’m annoying and I spam social media too much because I have a social media addiction and I’m attention-hungry for no stupid reason. Like, idk why you all follow me lol (oh wow now my mom is talking about the Fifty Shades franchise in the other room and I can hear it and I feel worse lol

Robin’s Egg Blue: If you were an animal, which one do you think would you be?

Ummm, idk.

I messaged my (friend) family group chat and responses were:

Child/cuddle buddy: “I mean, I’m inclined to say giraffe, but that’s because of tall people.”

Youngest son: “my brain immediately went to porpoise, idk why. im not reading into it lol”

Middle son (one of two in the middle): “I really don’t know”

So there we have it. I’m some sort of weird giraffe-porpoise hybrid lol

Shocking Pink: Is there a trait that you have that others don’t expect from you?

Maybe my anger. People don’t expect me to get angry as easily as I do because I try so hard to be pleasant all the time, even if I’m not feeling pleasant, so even when I’m angry I’m often smiling through it so as to not scare people away. When I drop the smile, people get freaked out.

I’ve also SERIOUSLY shocked people with my Hamilton knowledge lol. Like, I guess I just look too nerdy for it? Too “nice Christian girl” for it? Idk.

Asparagus: What’s an unpopular opinion you have?

Virgil is the big spoon way more often than he is the little spoon. He prefers to hold rather than be held.

#ask #anon #H anon #ask games

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