Hi, your posts always come up when I’m searching for fanfiction for this one specific character I like. When I’m browsing the search of this character, the majority of your work that pops up are the “darker” themed stories, and I’m not sure if that’s exclusively what you write or if that’s just what’s popping up, but I was hoping to ask you a question. It comes from a place of genuine curiosity, so I hope it doesn’t come across as rude, although it might, and that’s definitely not my intention. I’m genuinely curious as to why you write explicit sexual assault fanfiction? You tag your stories with “noncon,” referring to nonconsensual sex which is obviously rape. I’ve also seen stories tagged with “drugging” and I’m genuinely so confused about the psychology of “dark” writing. I’ve seen some people say it’s a coping mechanism so maybe that’s it? I’m 20 years old, but I cannot imagine being a 13 old girl (which tumblr is FULL of) and seeing stories which have the premises of “hot guy character” and “sex,” and it’s just literal rape or drugging or manipulation (or as you tag, “gaslighting”). I really don’t mean to be harsh, it’s just astounding how you feel comfortable writing that stuff, because it’s not like these “dark” topics are being condemned, it’s very clear that’s it written on the premise of being “forbiddingly sexy”. Because all of these posts are full of supportive comments, it’s so obvious that this normalizes sexual assault and why? All because the guy character doing it is “hot”? My opinion is that it’s so dangerous and I cannot imagine how I would have felt if I had seen these stories and the reactions to them when I was younger as a sexual assault victim myself. I’d really like to hear the perspective of an author of these type of works. This message does not come from a place of judgement.

Hi.

cw: talks of sexual assault, rape and violence.

As a CSA and SA victim, it's mainly used as a way to cope. It doesn't normalize sexual assault in the slightest, it's simply a kink many victims develop after being abused— everyone has their own ways to cope. NONE of my content including the fluff is ever written for minors, and it is not my responsibility if a minor reads it despite having a huge MDNI in my profile and actively encouraging any minors to get off of my blog.

I believe the time you spent writing something that very clearly comes from a place of judgement could have easily been spent googling your questions, but I'll gladly answer.

Sometimes people develop certain kinks out of fear and trauma— coming from someone living in a very small country where women get raped, kidnapped, and brutally murdered daily and spent years being a shut-in to avoid these things, it definitely comes from the factor of being able to have a controlled environment to write the things I'm scared of. I obviously don't want to be raped or be SAd again in real life, so this is all very clearly a fetish.

The reason why it's not written as condemned is because it's very obviously a kink? I'm not really sure what you expect when you see the warnings and continue reading. Since you mention the "gaslighting" thing I'm going to assume the character you're initially talking about is Simon Riley— and it would have taken you exactly 2 seconds to go to my profile and look at the masterlist with over 20 works to realize that's not all I write in the slightest— actually, I haven't put any of my works of the past 2 weeks in the masterlist because I've gotten lazy, so you'd only see 1 darkfic compared to everything else.

You mention multiple times how you'd feel if you saw my works as a child and that's the thing love, not a single one of my fanfics is ever meant for children or teenagers to read. These are grown men I'm writing about, I don't even want minors reading my fluffy things or even interacting with me at all— but if it helps, as a teenager I used to read works like these and it helped me process A LOT of my trauma later on in life lmfao.

I've been molested as early as I was 6 years old, and this went on most of my life growing up until I was in my late teens, so it's pretty fucking weird to say my fics normalize sexual assault because that's far from what it is, it's simply a FANTASY with FICTIONAL characters, none of it is real and I don't want it to be real, I don't want any of my readers to go through any of these things in real life, so I'm not really sure what the point of even accusing me of that was.

Writing Patterns

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

I was tagged by @auburnlaughter a little while ago; thank you! ❤

I'm doing the latest 10 fics I've posted to Ao3, oldest first, and I'll include links because... every excuse to self-promote? Everything here is Star Wars, most of it Bad Batch (from before s3, save the last two), and most of that is more or less Crosshair-centric.

Sunrise Caf (TCW post-war AU, pre-CodyWan, 1k, G)

“Do you still prefer your caf black, now that you have access to more options?” Obi-Wan asks as Cody sits down at the small kitchen table in Obi-Wan’s new apartment.

Labor of love is ours to endure (TBB s1 finale AU-CD, 4.6k, T)

Wrecker watches as Hunter talks to Crosshair about chances; watches as Omega says her piece too.

To feel your heart as it's keeping time (TBB, Batch twins, 3.3k, G)

Since Crosshair’s recent and long-awaited return to their squad, Tech has found that treating him like one would a feral tooka has been relatively successful in getting the sniper to relax around him.

Don't You Doubt (TBB, Cross & Hunter, 2.5k, T, part of a series)

Pabu is very quiet at night.

And please be there; I can barely hang on (But oh I wait 'til I break) (TBB, h/c, 3.8k, T) (this one's in Russian too!)

Crosshair didn't know they'd be here.

Mirjahaal (TBB, pre-show, 2.1k, G)

Echo doesn’t know what Crosshair’s problem is.

Breakthrough on Bracca (TBB, AU-CD, 4.6k, T)

Crosshair wakes to a face on fire and a clear mind.

Change of Heart, Change of Plans (TBB, AU-CD, 5.6k, G)

A flash of white armor in his periphery, accompanied by the sound of familiar voices – or rather, one familiar voice from multiple people – has Hunter diverting from their route, leading his siblings into a dark and dank alley, waiting for the troopers to pass.

We're Still What's Left (TBB s3e4 cont., grief, 1.7k, T)

“But… how did you escape?” Hunter asks the kid, and Crosshair figures that’s his cue, even if he’s not sure he’s quite ready for whatever awaits him out there.

Homecoming Heroes (TBB, sequel to above, 2.8k, T)

Pabu is… nice.

Thoughts and tags below the cut:

So... Patterns? I was gonna say something about fairly long sentences, but then half of them turned out to be pretty short, actually 😅

I guess I try to set the scene: Who's there, what are they doing, what's the Problem (if the characters know, yet) etc. Try to make clear what canon scene we've jumped into, when relevant (I.e. in Labor of love, which picks up towards the end of Kamino Lost, when Hunter has just said something like 'you gave us a chance Crosshair; this is yours' and Omega has said 'they're still your brothers, Crosshair. You're my brother too.', which is what Wrecker's thoughts are referring to.)

I also tend to start right in the middle of Something, especially in the more action-filled ones. This is both because I then avoid losing people to "boring" exposition or world-building or descriptions right out of the gate, and also because beginnings are Hard, so the way I typically start writing a fic (or anything, really) is to start with whatever scene I've got in mind that sparked the idea for the rest of the fic, regardless of when it actually takes place, and then build the rest around it. Or by writing notes/something like an outline if I don't have a specific scene in mind but more just a sort of general feeling or plot or theme or something I want to write about, and then expand those into text-text. This approach means I often end up explaining the things that need explaining throughout the fic, so there's no need to put it all at the beginning. And also - it's fanfic. By far most of my readers will already be familiar with the characters and general setting; I just need to make clear where and how we might deviate from that.

That's all, I think. But hey! if you got this far and you noticed something I didn't, why don't you tell me? (please be nice, though, I'm not looking for critique; just curious)

NPTs: @whimsicalmeerkat @hxad-ovxr-hxart @spacemagicandlaserswords @battlekilt

hi there. this is a bit hard bc i have nothing but love and hopes for good things for you. and as an rdr-universe fan & community member, i truly appreciate all the effort you put into what you do, with life as hard & stressful as it is. but i wanted to try my best to kindly make you aware that even with tag blocking in place, often when i see your posts, they can be or feel quite bitter or angry--that's much of the vibe you give off. it's a bit intimidating. so i wonder if it's not exclusively one side's problem, but a mix of things at work.

anyways, i don't at all mean to tell you how to run this blog or that you should hide your authentic feelings. your blog(s) is your space. just wanted to offer a different perspective and tell you that i really do truly value you and all your time, effort, and contributions to the fandom. it is and has been amazing. if you're feeling set aside, you should certainly be told that more.

First and foremost - I admit I am not always my most clear headed when I’m sick and I need to remind myself that when I post. Fully concede that to you because I am more blunt when I’m sick and should be careful while posting then. However - I looked over the posts I’ve written stuff on for EDIT: Since bringing of March with friends of mine that I trust who know how to combine being nice with calling bullshit out. Outside of today’s post - most of any anger or bitterness has been about politics. I talked about abelism and a family member. I sent a warning about posting Roe Vs. Wade  The rest of me was reposting stuff without commenting, and apologizing for not being on.

I'm not quite sure which thing you're referring to so I'll cover a few. I hate to defend myself, but: I don't post that often anymore with my own voice. I have always been a straightforward person. A lot of people take that as bitter, angry, or aggressive when it's not. I have had people say I'm intimidating and then find out that I was actually decent. Yes, I know that proves your point in a way, but I have tons of other posts rather than the few more blunt/upset ones lately I have to be strong because of the stuff the fandom has thrown at people and as far as safety goes I hate to think that being straightforward is a turn off for people, but that is one thing about me that is just a part of me. Some people won't like me for that. But it is something I can try to balance more while still being myself. The personal posts aren't very often, and as you stated - it is my blog. I put all the triggers there and hide much of what I would have wanted to write as best as I can and post things before and after these posts so the personal ones are harder to find and easier to ignore for most people, and I can still get out what I want to say. I am allowed to have that, and I acknowledge that people may be turned off if I write something they disagree with or don't like my tone. However, that's to be said for all blogs.

But, that doesn't change that there are also the tons of positive things I've written/said, though. YEARS worth. Not just meaning fandom stuff. I've also offered tons of support to people and tried to do some charitable work in the small ways that I can. Many times I post about something negative that happened personally - I state I'm not the only one and that my blog is open to people to vent and invite Dm's. A lot of fandom stuff is positive and I have always been encouraging about no one ever needing to feel stupid about asking for writing advice, requests, or anything history-related and have had some decent success with that since I've joined. Plus I have done everything I can with people's requests. So it's not like my blog is all negativity. However, It's way easier for people to notice things that are negative than things that are positive. As far as the political posts have been lately where I have been angry - those are going to be more charged because, of course, they affect entire multiple demographics. It's literally people's rights being taken away. Yes, there is bitterness and anger there. I am not unique in that. Again, people may not agree with me and that's okay, but I am going to voice any negative feelings there. Why does that make me different than anyone else? If they don't want to see politics, block those tags on my blog or block me. If you're referring to my latest post, which is possible because of the timing - that is a little angerbut more so bluntness. It's literally that people are annoyed that I'm not posting more and not more of their faves - but their faves aren't really what's left. That's it. And I know that's not what people want. Again, I'm being honest as I could be threatened again because someone isn't happy. I dont know how long you've been in the fandom, but people here can be very extreme over the smallest things. It's standing up for myself and trying to prevent B.S. from occurring. I do get upset when I get people straight up angry or annoyed at me for not posting rdr content and with some anons getting quite nasty. It's entitlement. Then you do put stuff out, and then get ignored or told it doesn't matter. I've legit been told that multiple times with the latest one not that long ago. I am far from the only one. People in this fandom have been talking about this for ages. I'm just one of many blogs expressing the same exact feelings. I shouldn't have to apologize to people just so I don't get more hatred. "Hi, I'm sorry I'm busy," or "Hi, I'm sorry I'm sick," or "Hi, I'm sorry I can't upload XYZ" , "Sorry, someone in my family did IRL" or "Sorry I'm scared because of ___ that's why I've not been here" That's my fault for giving in to that anxiety, but like I said, it's so I don't get the anons or personal threats that I get. Wouldn't you be in the same more defensive stance? I will definitely take your words into account, but at the same time, what you see isn't the whole story. It's not how most of my stuff is. Hell, lately, outside of politics and me talking about health and grad school, I haven't posted too many things at all. Just reblogs and a tiny thing about Abigail. I will think about being less blunt which I'm sure would help.

So. A little birdie (doesn't want to be tagged so I'm respecting their privacy) dropped into my dms this morning with an article which could very well explain why Hunter and especially why Shawn don't talk to Ric Flair anymore.

Now, I've also made sure to check the person who wrote it and see if I can fact check, as well, I had a whole class on this type of thing. I know it's important to get things right. So if your interested in this whole thing, read more.

(This is a 100% a mess btw)

I'll be linking both the article and podcast down below and well any other websites I use. Incase you want to do more detailed reading or listening. As I won't be going too indepth as I'm just trying to answer a popular question on this blog of why hbk and triple h don't talk to flair.

-------

Intro-

Now the whole article itself is about Rics divorces, financial problems and also talks about other issues like sa accusations. I'm not going to go into those as I'm not talking about that, I'm just going to be focusing on the financial issues. Because well, that's most likely why Hunter and Shawn aren't talking to Ric.

Before I show you the parts of the article we will be looking at, I just want to go over the things I checked to make sure it can atleast be trusted. One, the author is clearly stated and his other works aswell. Two, he writes about different types of sports and three, Shane ryan has gone onto between the ropes to talk about the piece he wrote and stated he was doing work in Charlotte when he started researching ric. This is important as most of this takes place in Charlotte. He starts researching ric after coming across the fact he's in debt. He does it purely because he was confused how famous wwe legend couldn't pay off a small debt. Which is understandable. He was a wrestling fan as a kid who had grown away from it. Which actually makes me trust him more, he's not as connected to the business and stuff like I am.

He also notes where he got certain information from, like Elizabeth's divorce papers.

I also want to note that he has spent 2 months on this work before sending it to his editor. As someone who's done a research project multiple times, is more important then you think.

You also only have to put Ric Flairs debts into Google and you can spend hours reading about it.

I'm personally not going into detail about his debt, I more just want to share the reason on why Hunter most likely doesn't speak to ric anymore.

One final important detail is that Ric is referred to as Fliehr in the article as that's his actual last name.

Article-

Here's the part of the article that truly caught my attention.

And it think it's clear who those people are. This definitely would be a good reason to not talk to someone. Especially if they don't pay back. And we all know how Hunter is willing to help his friends, it's not his first time trying to pull ric out of the darkness.

And here's the part that was sent to me

Yeah, you know that rolex watch that Shawn was really giddy about? It meant a lot to him and its being used for debts.

And then I thought there's no way ric openly told Shawn he did this. So I went and did some research, which is where I found this,

Now, I knew ric and hunter didn't talk anymore because of ric saying it. So this, this is important as its not only a secondary source but also it tells us who else he doesn't talk to. It also confirms that Shawn and ric don't talk. And his own son?

I then discovered this. As said, ric is where I found out about hunter in the first place. I don't know what Shawn said. I haven't got around to it, but from the fact this is rics original answer to whatever hunter and Shawn said has me thinking it wasn't that bad

But what gets on my nerves most is, hunter is clearly apart of this and yet, ric only goes on to attack Shawn.

Which makes me think, if hunter and ric were speaking at the time of this, they 100% weren't after this. Its commonly known that Hunter will always stand with shawn, just like how Shawn will always stand with hunter. You wrong one of them, you wrong them both. Take the Hulk Hogan situation for instant. We've all seen hunter and Shawn glaring at hogan during raw anniversaries.

Back to the main point. The article. Rics debts have been publicly put out there. Shawn most likely found out from the Internet. Hell, now that I think of Shawn and the Internet, he probably didn't even find out at all. But hunter? Hunter knows how to use the Internet. He most definitely found out.

It just doesn't sit right with me. It never has. But to now have some context on why hunter and Shawn don't talk to ric. I just can't. Why would you do this to your so called close friends? Why would you take something so valuable and put it up like that? It's not clear if ric still has the watch or if it's gone, but that's not the point. It also won't take a rocket scientist to know that ric definitely loaned money off hunter and maybe Shawn. And who knows if he's paid it back.

I just know that, I finally got my answer on why hunter and ric don't talk anymore. Also just put in my mind that taker was 100% at rics last match to collect debt money. I'm sorry, I had to fit a joke in somewhere.

"Wheres my money Ric?"

Feel free to ask any questions if this confuses you. I'm kinda running off 4 hours sleep and ranting in this.

Here's the links I used:

Actual article that started all of this-

Podcast-

Other sites-

Ok i know this might seem a bit odd to be asked but i don't know anywhere i can go to look it up (googling most of them gets me the names of companies I've never heard of, damn acronyms) and i kinda look up to you as one of the mom friend kind of rper out of all the people i follow, so this is the first place i thought of. What do various rping terms mean? Like m!a, ooc, private, multiverse, au... I'm looking for people to rp with but i don't want to overstep or bother them bc i don't know these

// No problem! Mom’s got you covered, bb

M!A: Magic Anon. These seem less common these days, but every now and then a blog may receive an M!A. These magically change a muse in some way. It can be anything as small as giving them cat ears for a week, or making them talk a certain way, to more drastic things like being transformed into different creatures or (in the case of LoL) skin AUs. For example, being Arcade Sona for a week or two. Not all blogs accept M!As though, and you want to still be respectful with what you send in if you do send them something. But they’re a great way to give a blog incentive to try new things and let them know something you’d like to see happen on their blog!

OOC: Out Of Character. These are posts people make that aren’t “in character” (or IC).

IC: In Character. These are posts that are “in character”, or it refers to being “in character”.

AU: Alternate Universe. AUs are exactly what they sound like; they can be anything. An AU where Sona is in space. An AU where Sona was born in Demacia instead of Ionia. An AU were Sona is a Yordle. The possibilities are endless! Many times people will refer to other skins for a champion as AUs as well, since skins tend to put characters in different environments and feels (like Muse Sona, for example).

Multiverse: This means that that blog will interact with people each in their own little “universe”, and that one universe doesn’t affect another (unless all the muns involved want that). For example: say I’m RPing Sona with a Shen blog. The world in which Sona and Shen exist is one universe. Then another Shen blog appears and I RP with them. That is then a second universe completely independent of the other one. This can extend to shipping as well (as in keeping each ship within their own universe and timeline) but it may not always be the case.

Singleverse: This means that that blog’s character exists in one timeline of consistent events that don’t branch off and form their own little universes. It’s basically just like living a real life in that your choices and actions remain consistent and affect the future, etc, etc. All the characters they meet along the way exist in their one world. This may also mean they are singleship, but it’s not always the case!

Singleship: This blog only wants to ship with one partner.

Multiship: This blog is willing to ship with multiple partners, but that doesn’t automatically mean their muse is polyamorous. They may be poly, or they may be multiverse about their ships.

* Shipping is a dynamic thing, and it’s best to get to know the blog/muse/mun before ever jumping in their inboxes immediately looking to form romantic/sexual relationships. Remember: just because a blog is willing to ship doesn’t mean they are comfortable with everything.

Private: This is a newer term to me, but I believe this is similar as “mutuals only”. Generally speaking these aren’t very open blogs and are mainly only looking to interact with people who follow them back rather than answer random asks. They have their reasons, whatever they are, and I don’t think they usually advertise their blogs either? I could be wrong about this one, honestly. They’re probably only looking to RP with certain people.

Mutuals Only: This one I know for sure. It just means that blog is only going to interact with people who follow them back. So if you don’t follow them but send them an ask, they may not answer you.

Exclusive: This means that blog has “exclusive” partners. This can mean one of two things; they have exclusive RP partners (so they will only have one Zed or Kayle they RP with and won’t RP with other Zeds or Kayles, for example) and are still willing to RP with other blogs to find other muses to be exclusive with, or they have exclusive RP partners and aren’t willing to RP with anyone else. Generally it’s the former.

Indie: Or “independent” blogs. This just means that blog doesn’t belong to a specific group and is willing to RP with anyone.

NSFW: Not Safe For Work. Maybe this one’s obvious, but it’s any content unsuitable for viewing in work/school/professional environments. It can be sexual, violent, triggering, or otherwise adult themed. If a blog labels themselves as NSFW, that can mean they post any of said content - so it doesn’t automatically mean that blog posts smut! Which is a common misconception.

Just remember that while these tags all have different meanings, sometimes the meanings can be dynamic for each mun. Make sure you read their blog rules for a more expansive explanation of what to expect on their blog, what they’re looking for, what they’re willing/unwilling to talk about or see, etc. And always be honest about what you’re looking for and willing to RP as well! You don’t have to compromise things if something doesn’t make you comfortable, but also remember that that applies to other people as well. Be considerate and kind and go into every new meeting with an open mind! We’re all here to roleplay, so there’s little need to be shy, you know?