TW: Talking about death of a loved one...

So, my best friend's Babas is going to pass soon. The doctors told us that it's just a matter of time and it sucks 'cause it's so vague and unknown. I've known this woman since I was 10 and I'm now 28. She has watched/help me grown. She has seen both my pregnancies...and now...now I'm just supposed to be okay with waiting for her to leave this Earth?

Like, I really feel that I am losing my whole support system. Three out of the four grandparent's I have are gone...now Babas...like when does it stop? How many times to I keep having to lose the parental figures in my life?

And don't even get me started on how the hell I'm going to explain it to my kids. The oldest understands death to some degree, but my youngest who is non verbale, he feels emotions so deeply...I am dreading this so much. I know the pain is going to crush me. I'm trying to prepare myself but I just can't. I always joked with Babas that she couldn't die until both my kids were out of high school. She has to see them graduate and now...

I'm hurting bad and I fucking hate it. I hate how people just keep leaving me and I can't do anything about it. It fucking sucks! I'm just waiting for the call and every time my phone goes off, my heart stops. I just need this to be one long nightmare and it's not.

I want to scream.. into the void and smash a few things. Maybe that would help

ugh

what do you do when you can’t express how you feel? I feel like no matter what I do, writing, drawing, screaming, I can’t get it out. I used to be so good at bottling, at suppressing and ignoring everything I didn’t want to feel, but now I feel like all I do is cry. And it’s not achieving anything, and its not expressing anything, and it doesn’t feel like relief...it feels like a humiliating chore. I’ve gone soft without the luxury of being treated gently, it seems all I do now is bruise easy.

Floyd told Branch to wear that vest whenever he misses him and he wore that vest almost every single day of his life ever since... They can't do this to me they just can't...

Whose idea was it to let me read I Want to Eat Your Pancreas? HUH?! Who let me torture myself with that?!??? I mean, it was absolutely amazing and I am very tempted to buy it but COME ON.

.

Uhh so anyone else who broke up with their bf bc long distance for 5 years is too fucking much on the human soul but already miss him a lot

Uuuuh my chest hurts

I am SO grateful that ed and stede exist as characters exactly as they are. I'm so grateful for these two men who are traumatized and messed up and struggle to even like themselves, who are terrible at communicating, who make enough mistakes between the two of them to fill an entire ocean. I am so grateful to watch them struggle and be seen and be loved and reach out for the things they want and are maybe starting to believe that they deserve. I'm so grateful that the show lets them fall in love and get together exactly as they are, that it doesn't say they need to wait until they've become some unattainably perfect version of themselves before they have permission to have that. i am so grateful for ofmd

Everyone gets tired of me at some point.

Then eventually they’ll leave.

They all do.

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS

'jance march photodump' and it's just Nace posting on Instagram

Yiling Patriarch

"Like I'd... die here. If I am killed you'll be unstoppable. I need to keep watching... until they graduate... and become heroes! I still need... the one in the way... the one in the way is you!"