#i'm so fucking sick
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Literally we shouldn't even be having to explain to Parents that spanking/smacking/hitting/etc is physical abuse and wrong, HOW do they even manage hearing their child cry as a direct result of their actions and not feel horribly sick with themselves. I hear a kid cry - even a complete random stranger kid - and I start tearing up and my chest hurts. How the fuck are their literal PARENTS getting off on hurting their own kids. It's beyond words
#I'm so fucking sick#I come home and it's like I can't do shit I just feel awful all of the time. I want to murder my father actually
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Get me out get me out get me out get me out please someone get me out I don't want to be here I am crying in the bathroom locked myself in because I don't want to be out there please someone fucking help me...
#stuck in a conservative christian home#they're doing “bible study”#the preacher on the TV is talking about how disgusting and horrible gay people are#i'm so fucking sick#i am sick#i feel like i'm going to vomit#god someone please help me#i'm going to cry#i am going to be sick#someone get me out please
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If you've never heard an LRAD go off in person, I *genuinely* do not want to hear your opinion about methods of resistance in the US.
#i'm so fucking sick#wifey and i are pretty sure we got COVID so we've been isolating and trying to stay well#this is now at least my 2nd infection though#and you can tell too#wifey has been having trouble keeping me fed and hydrated and CONSCIOUS because I'm so tired I can barely function#this is despite sleeping for 12 hrs a day the past two days#and being fully medicated (or as fully medicated as I can be)#and on top of that my hypotension has been acting up severely since getting sick and I can barely walk 10ft b4 losing consciousness#i've haven't started throwing up my food and water yet but I've come pretty close especially early in the morning#anyway the point is that I am like. visibly being hit with an autoimmune aggravator not just a normal cold#and unfortunately#I'm taking it harder this time than the last#wifey is doing okay and mostly experienced it as a headcold with severe fatigue#she's pretty much better now a week or so out from starting to show symptoms#we....don't like when she gets hit that hard tho because it usually means I'm about to get bodied#pattern is holding so far regrettably lmao#anyway#my point is that I'm sick and angry and grieving and I really want to hit something or set it on fire#but i can't because i can barely move or even stay awake#and this is literally all my personal hell#as a result i am finding that I have a uhhhhhhhhhh unreasonably low threshhold for irritation recently
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Fuck it, the Elite should've fucking been there tonight for the Dynamite anniversary. There wouldn't even be a god damn All ELITE Wrestling or Dynamite anniversary without them.
#I'm so fucking sick#tk you fucking coward#I'm hot as fuck tonight fr#y'all pass me the fattest joint i need it#give the strongest shot of tequila#nick jackson#matt jackson#young bucks#kenny omega#the elite#aew#aew lb
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@hobomagician
I can't believe I'm saying this but. THANKS
can that thing really steal souls? I tried to get to my brother and it fucking knocked me back?????
#solid vision isn't supposed to DO that#I'm so fucking sick#of people trying to steal our souls and bodies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#hobomagician
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"You're a mess, Hicks,"
Dante blinked at those words, glancing over to find Randal staring directly at him with a buzzed expression laced with something Dante had only ever seen in fleeting moments with the blond.
"Yeah," he swallowed the anxiety that had twisted in his throat at Randal's words, simply lifting the can to his mouth for a sip in hopes that the drunker he got, the more the fear would go away. "I think I know that considering I'm currently sitting getting shit face drunk at the convenience store I basically live in."
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Beer, drunk kisses, and burning spaghetti, what else would you expect from Dante and Randal's relationship?
My first clerks ficccc
Read it pls
#clerks#dante hicks#randal graves#dante x randal#I'm so fucking sick#help#my writing#clerks fanfic#clerks 1994
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I’m legit so fucking depressed after every goddamned Better Call Saul episode. The last half of season 6 is just fucking miserable. I don’t need this in my life right now I want something happy I’m sooo godddamned annoyed why is it like this????
#better call saul#saul goodman#i'm so fucking sick#i'm so goddamn tired of antihero shitty jackass characters#yeah like i get that the whole villains as protagonists and such was a big thing yada yada yada and better call saul is a swan song#to the age of television saturated with villains and antiheroes as protagonists but i'm just sooo tired especially when they made us#empathize and care about him#i have a longer rant about this and how bcs is perhaps meant to be a homage not just to old hollywood and shakespearean structure and as a#modern myth of orpheus and eurydice/a ghost story#but also as an homege to the golden age of television particularly the ones where antiheroes and gray morality bleed into the philosophy of#nihilism to justify their own means to an end#like this whole fjdkslaf show was about love and then jimmy and kim threw it all away like god dammit either learn to live together and#heal your wounds and forgive#or find peace and fucking move on#i'm sooo tired#fjsak#delete later#pointless fucking rambling#i am absolurely insanely pissed off after watching episode 11#also the pacing this season is so weird they honestly needed 2 more seasons imo#they should have had bcs be able to stand on its own without brba#it is indeed one of the best prequels/spinoffs ever made but still it could be better#and i know it's not over but ughh having vince gilligan write and direct the next episode when he is kinda on that .... that 'pessimistic'#leaning philosophy especially after everything post 2019 happenng in the world idk if that morality will resonate much with audiences#not saying it will be a hopeless ending but i'm kinda expecting an ending more bitter than sweet#god i need to shut up and take like four sleeping pills lol#fdsaffdslhg
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AI generated content is fucking over the art community but it has absolutely ruined animatics.
#shout out to the people who still use original songs#the ai generated voices always sound like shit#and just sound so fucking soulless#sorry i just got tricked into watching one#and i'm big mad#just shows how dogshit ai is#that its less immersive#than just using the original singers#having one of men in the m/m AMV sing in a woman's voice is part of the charm#not to mention how fucking clear#VAs have been about using their voice#to generate ai content#i'm so fucking sick#of techbros poisoning the internet with empty commodification
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The Illusion of Being Loved
Context: Armand's sick. Fever dreams.
The door of my room closed with a soft creak, leaving me to my own thoughts in the darkness of it. I turned my body on my side, holding onto the stuffed animal as I tried to breathe through my mouth without coughing. I pulled the blanket up to my shoulders, listening to the sound of everyone talking outside my bedroom door before closing my eyes.
I felt good, peaceful even. I was sick but this moment calmed me. I was cared for by many here and I finally felt appreciated. Of course, none of this was what I really felt.
Cold darkness surrounded my body, leaving me dangling in what I assumed to be water. My eyes were empty yet stuck open as I felt the familiar motion of hands moving up my body. My limbs felt frozen still, the icy feeling darkening my arms, making me numb and cold.
Cold and alone..
I felt disconnected from my body, like I was watching my own corpse from outside in the vast, empty void. My lips were parted, lungs filled with water that froze itself to ice, destroying and killing my organs from the inside.
I could still hear the faint beat of my heart, slow enough to count.
One.. Two... Three..
Echoing in my ears, the last sliver of life that I had, kept getting slower and slower.
Four... Five... Six...
In the back of my head, I could hear my name being called. My ears filled with water and my body drowned out, I didn't understand how I heard it.
Seven... Eight.. Nine...
It became louder, more agitated and annoyed till it was screaming so loud, it reached through all the water in my head.
Armand..
Armand.
ARMAND!
I felt my body snap awake, the light in my room turned on, making me groan and turn away from William, who stood in the door frame.
"Armand, get up. Aneila's losing it again and everyone else is being awkward. Fix it."
His hands were on his hips, the water he soaked in dripped from his uncleaned hair as his bleached out eyes glared at me.
I groaned in response, rolling myself out of bed and cursing when I fell. I heard him scoff before turning heel and walking off, leaving me to my own pain.
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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
#this is objectively bad advice#don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this#but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries#.... it IS fun#i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him.#bc i used to get SO fucking upset#i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it#and now i just LITERALLY do not engage#instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation#i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection#they like the rush they get from arguing#but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me#so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru#NORMAL CONVERSATION#he doesn't get it yet#i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?''#'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''
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I hate you AI, I hate you sites making deals with souless corporations that think creativity can be replicated by an unthinking machine, I hate you money-hungry investors and ceos, I hate you opt-out models, I hate you tech bros, I hate you having to spend precious free time having to scramble our art in a desperate attempt not to getting stolen from, I hate you minimization of the hard work we put into our craft, I hate ''''machine learning''''' being compared to a very human person putting in the hours to better themselves, I hate you commodification of the very core of human's expression, I hate you scams being helped along by uber plagiarism, I hate you AI, I hate you AI, I hate you AI, I HATE YOU AI
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i genuinely don't care how good a piece of ai generated art or writing looks on the surface. i don't care if it emulates brush strokes and metaphor in a way indistinguishable from those created by a person.
it is not the product of thoughtful creation. it offers no insights into the creator's life or viewpoint. it has no connection to a moment in time or a place or an attitude. it has no perspective. it has no value.
it's empty, it's hollow, and it exists only to generate clicks (and by extension, ad revenue.)
it's just another revolting symptom of the disease that is late stage capitalism, and it fucking sucks.
#''but i just want to use it to--'' don't care! it's shit! stop fucking feeding it!#if you need help generating ideas or jumping off points then join an artist or writer group online#talk to people#make connections#that's what art and writing is supposed to be about in the first place#i'm mad as hell etc.#so goddamn sick and tired of seeing ai shit get passed around on here#it's bad enough in general but every time i see more of it showing up#tagged as fan art or as fic#the angrier i get#heartfelt imperfection in art and writing will always ALWAYS be worth more than the most technically ''perfect'' ai generated image or text#fandom problems#ai generation algorithms die in a fire challenge 2k23#just a heads up that i'm muting this post and will no longer see responses to it#because i'm tired of seeing dogshit takes from jackasses who want to ''debate'' me#there's no debate you're in the wrong on literally every level and you can die mad about it
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5k notes before Christmas and I'll tell my mom that I'm a transmasc lesbian
#I'm so sick of being misgendered by this woman#And I'd like for her to know#But I'd also like to be safe#But I'm also fucking done with it and whatever happens happens
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Is this the start of a migraine or just a normal headache... guess we'll find out.
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If I see one more post treating Gale and Mystra like a genuine couple I will scream
In a game where all the companions are in relationships with immense power imbalances, don't you think Gale is in one too????
It is heavily implied that Mystra (A goddess known in the Forgotten Realms for tricking and deceiving, look up Dornal Silverhand) groomed Gale, being his teacher first and then a lover. He didn't fumble anything, he was the magical equivalent of a high school banging his teacher and everyone (more like in real life with male abuse survivors) treats it like he "bagged a baddie" and "fumbled it"
The most horrific thing is that he STILL doesn't quite realise what's happening, he still believes everything she says and believe she knows best for him.
Also, he wasn't trying to unsup her, that's what Mystra saw it as. He adored her and wanted to be her No.1 special little guy so he did something FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS out of LOVE (because he believed and still believes it's love). Does Mystra have the right to interpret it as an attack on her godhood, absolutely but don't get it twisted with what Gale actually says!
"Not to destroy Mystra, but to prove my love for her"
"I merely sought to return one tiny diamond to an imperfect crown"
Sorry for ranting but FUCK.
#gale#baldur’s gate 3#bg3#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#Fucking fuck fuck fuck#I'm just so sick and tired of seeing the same take on Gale#DON'T GET ME STARTED ON A THE ROMANCE BUG#I will scream
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My friend @the-velvet-worm made such a good point about Chaggie earlier that I feel like it needs to be shared. Her quote: "It's not lost on me that they're not hypersexual like a lot of more popular f/f ships, and no, there's nothing wrong with being into something because there's palpable sexual tension, but I feel like a lot of it is fetishizers being unable to fetishize it?"
EXACTLY.
Chaggie is the least fetishized wlw ship I've seen on any show. It feels like it's constructed from the female gaze because it is, for once. The writing even makes fun of and paints Adam in the wrong for being crass about their relationship and using it as fodder for his own nasty fantasies.
And it's not like Chaggie are chaste. They sleep in the same bed, it's implied that they have sex, and they are very physically affectionate with each other, but because Hazbin isn't showing full-on porn of them, the fandom says they have 'no chemistry.'
I also think there's this cognitive dissonance in the fandom where Hazbin isn't afraid to push the envelope in a lot of ways, and kinks and sex and all types of debauchery are mentioned and depicted all of the time, so they are expecting that out of Chaggie as well. BUT! part of the point is that this relationship is subversive for Hell and for the show in general, which is what makes it so good in my opinion.
It's crazy that people would think that Hazbin writers/animators are "too scared" to do anything controversial with Vaggie and Charlie's relationship when we've seen first-hand that practically nothing is off the table when it comes to this show. That just seems like a bad faith reading of the way Hazbin is portraying its bigger themes of forgiveness/redemption and where the characters have come from with Chaggie. Just because you don’t personally enjoy their dynamic doesn't mean that it's 'bad' or 'poorly written'.
#chaggie#charlie morningstar#vaggie#charlie x vaggie#hazbin hotel#if you want a more sexually charged relationship then maybe start looking for it in other characters#because that's just NOT chaggie's established dynamic#wlw ships are always overly scrutinized and I'm so fucking sick of it
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