Sami seemed to strike a big nerve with Jey last night

I'm too silly to be experiencing the horrors

Thinks about how. Gloreth only starts looking at Nimona differently/strangely when her parents call her a "monster". Just throws that label with such a negative connotation on her. Gloreth fucking fights for Nimona immediately in the beginning saying that she's her friend and never once looks at her with ridicule until her mom just holds her by the shoulders and tells her she's a monster, straight in the eye, straight in the face. And just the word is enough to cause the change.

Nimona's getting fucking attacked and prodded and Gloreth doesn't even feel sorry for her just because she's now re-contextualizing everything around her but with that word. I'm so sick. She looks not in hesitance but at disbelief before she runs away. She sees Nimona trying to defend herself from literal Danger in any way she can (she's just a kid and she's fighting with people who won't listen, never will, people that she can't get through) but just sees that as more proof of her being violent, monstrous. She sees her friend all alone, with the odds and the world stacked against her despite them being. so similar but just tells her to go back to the shadows.

And like. Of course she believes those words calling Nimona a monster and takes them to heart. Her parents, the ones she would probably trust most are the ones that told her that. And she's young, she doesn't know much about the world or much better. And of course, her parents and the whole village don't know any better. They didn't see what she saw. They don't know or feel the need to know much more than the definition of the word "monster". But it hurts. God it hurts. It's wrong. It's not fair. It's really not fair.

And it causes this whole legend that will stay with Nimona to ridicule her for generations and generations and birth this system that she's trapped by and causes everyone to be so brainwashed. The one that makes people scared and build walls. That births unecessary distrust.

God. Even in the scroll illustrating Nimona and Gloreth, Nimona is portrayed as such a bigger and scarier threat than she ever could be or would be, until Nimona internalized and gave into those images and despair of course. It's not fucking fair.

Thinking about how when the villagers saw Nimona as a "normal" person they were happy for her just living her life and playing with her friend, she was just another kid being happy like she and every ("normal", apparently) person deserves to be, and they were allowing her to be happy then when they find out what she really is they hate her. They call her a monster and drive her out immediately. They don't look into the details that contradict the stigma, they just feel betrayal when they weren't even the ones who were betrayed (Nimona couldn't fucking help being who or what she was. And she was her own person. She was still. A someone. Why do things have to be different now?). I'm so sickkk.

Thinks about how Nimona feels so hopeless as to just. Accept and yield to that label. That label that was passed down to Gloreth. To the whole world. Such simple but awful words. Aughhhhhhhhhhh

Another post I saw talks about how this is a movie about how hate is taught. And oh my god it is. Hate it taught. It's done so simply yet so, painfully effectively. So devastatingly. And that hate teaches people to hate the world back. God I fucking loooove this movie

Also Nimona's such a Creature /pos /affectionate she's so relatable I fucking love her and I'm insane okay that's the post bye

...😭

Update

Hi hi, everyone. I know it's been a long time. I was actually typing up a message to @prince-infidel because of an ask they sent me, but I realized I should probably just make it a post. So I guess this is an update. Okay, short version: The end of 2022 and the entirety of 2023 was horrible for me. A lot happened, and 97% of it was not good. Now to get into a bit more specifics. While all of this crazy stuff was going on, a friend of mine really needed help with their company. They were just going through a ton, and I jumped on to help them while they were trying to figure that stuff out. Turns out that I was a good fit. So I've completely changed careers currently. Also, with all of this crazy shit going on, I stopped drawing entirely. That's a first for me. No matter what was going on, I always had my drawing as an outlet. It was very new for it to be gone. I actually only recently started drawing again, and when I say recently, I mean last week. I haven't even finished anything and my progress comes in very small doses. Baby steps I guess. Now the stuff you're actually probably interested in. Even though I haven't been drawing, I have been making art. - I've been putting crazy amounts of effort into making costumes. It's really fun and I've level grinded a lot with sewing and fabrics. I made an entire Victorian costume on my own. It was cool. - I weirdly started working on dolls? I have no idea why I started doing that. I hate dolls. - I started making weird... sculptures? I don't know how to describe them. It's basically recycling and turning materials into monstrosities for my own entertainment and to scare random people. - And I've delved more into my hobby of SFX makeup.

I have been being creative, it's just a bunch of stuff that no one cares about. It makes me happy and that's all there is to it really. Which brings me to the long version, because I have no idea how to continue this without going into details. I can only assume all of this answers anyone questions who might be curious. Time to get a bit more specific.

I don't know how to start this, so I guess I'll just say that my interests have completely moved. I think everything above should make that clear, but when I'm referring to interests, I mostly mean the things that inspire me. This is actually typical for me. I love fiction and am a fan of many, many things. I get really involved in a fandom for a while, get bored, then move on to one that is piquing my interest more. Eventually I come back and the cycle starts over. I always keep up with all of my interests simultaneously, it's just that one usually dominates the others. The thing is, comic books have completely lost my interest currently.

There's a lot of factors. I'm not going to repeat stuff that you've probably heard a thousand times from other people about the current state of the comic industry, comic writing, the movies, the video games blah blah blah whine whine whine. I think one of the big things though is that this last year has really changed me. I'm just a really different person now. I'm not that happy-go-lucky nerd I was before. I think my major concern is that I honestly think it would be fucked up if I continued to post here.

People started following me here because of my art and my posts. It would be fucked up to switch that around on them and just show back up as this different person with different art, different interests etc. I've thought about making an update on here a bunch of different times, but I never did because of stuff like that. However, in a way, it's been really nice. It's been nice to just do whatever stupid art project comes into my head, and to do it just for the sake of making something. I think dropping drawing all together (not by choice, mind you) turned out to be good for me. I think I got in tune with a creative side of myself that I'd lost a long time ago. It's been pretty neat.

I've thought about just leaving this tumblr to history. I honestly think that I should. It can be a weird time capsule of this specific fandom in this specific time period. I've thought about just making different social media accounts so that people who want to see any of my new, awful creations could if they wanted to. I don't know though. I'm just all up in the air all the time now lol

I get this isn't an "all questions answered" kinda post. Not that most people needed them, but I know that there are people who just liked my art in general and I knew they must be curious. So I hope I at least answered some stuff and gave some clarity.

You should never ever travel because you'll feel like shit warmed over for several days afterward and you'll be cruelly forced to go back to work, still jetlagged or whatever

had such a stupid fun day just hanging out and being a little freak with the emotes (and. the return of the fridge bit.) that i almost forgot literally the Most harrowing moment in my minecraft life happened today

chilling in my ancient city basement with squash and his parents when the white baby comes and wrecks our shit, sends everyone into a panic, having nightmare stalkers and skeleton thrashers and fucking wardens spawned on us, being directly targeted TWO separate times (white baby back for round 2: electric boogaloo)

squash gets downed somewhere in the ancient city. i'm blind and slowed, nightmare screams and clanging hammers and effect clouds everywhere around me, i have no clue where this dying child is. thankfully i find my way over to them, the white fox glaring down at him in cold silence. i'm trying to focus on getting squash up first, throwing myself inbetween them, tanking every hit so he can run away, getting to the lowest health i've been in an attack so far. but he gets up, escapes, the monsters are killed, time resumes moving, everything's alright again.

my heart's still Racing, blood Pounding in my head, i'm on an adrenaline high like you wouldn't believe. then an egg gets killed in chat. i tail the killer and save another child that got downed right in front of me (whether they wanted me to or not). everyone's panicking, there's a server-wide witch hunt, and at that point i had to step away from the computer and. do chores like a regular fucking human being. my legs shaking like jelly as i walked outside to take out the trash. having a casual conversation with my parents as if i hadn't seen Death in front of me in the form of a fucked up minecraft fox model.

merry crisis

(based on this image)

finding friends with the same mental disorder as you... priceless

when cis men complain abt being sick more often they're onto smth bc I have the unique experience of being sick pre and post testosterone and there's just Something about being sick w testosterone in ur system that makes u want to complain to everyone in a 20 mile radius, cry, and get babied endlessly even if it's just a cold

still not as bad as a period though

oh this just keeps getting f*cking better. Joon Oh's older brother is like 'idk what the f*ck is wrong with you these days but you are on some wild sh*t. the only thing that you respond to is 'Kang Young Hwa' honestly i think we need to reassess this situation i can't keep letting you do this. if you're going to keep getting worse she's getting removed from her position' and ghost!Do Ha is like 'you take Young Hwa away from me???? you take her from my sight???? jail!!!!! jail for hyung for a thousand years'. then he just. yk. f*cks with the lights that's a completely normal thing to do imo

i'm working out be timeline and juwon just threw me off by doing an unnecessary costume change in the middle of a day

Trembling, I awoke,

A second day home from work,

I called to let them know

I'd get ahold of doctor notes

And try to get some answers

I should be clocking in about now,

Rather, I am still in bed,

Waiting for 4 am to roll around

So I can take my meds,

Try to get a little more rest

Useless, I've been dropping things,

I can hardly stand on my own two feet,

I spend my days waiting to feel myself again

And waiting for a diagnoses,

Hopefully not an end

Chapter 120

lol ignore this 🙃

i can't stop crying at work because everything in my life is going wrong and this stupid shit with my stupid cousin and family is upsetting me so much and it shouldn't be and i feel so fucking stupid for being bothered by this bc it's what i wanted!!! but no i'm wrong again and this time they're just all fully cutting me off and i'm working non fucking stop and still can't afford anything bc the world is going to absolute fucking shit and i'm just so sick of feeling like i can't do anything right ever and i've been feeling suicidal every fucking day for an entire fucking MONTH because of everything and my cousin was who i always reached out to when things got bad and i fucking can't because SHES NOT TALKING TO ME and i'm going to cry AGAIN FUCK

i'm so sick of this

i'm so sick of falling apart because of my family

i'm so sick of never being good enough

i'm so sick of feeling like this

i'm so fucking tired

Everyone shut the fuck up about Benny and please start talking about Lucy please I beg of thee she is literally the second main character why does she get not attention she's a really interesting character please-