Reading "One Piece" for the first time, Part 5: So, pretty early on (about the time a murder clown nuked a village) I realised that escalation was basically a crapshoot in this series, and honestly one of its charms thus far. Now the Idiot, the Himbo, the Cartographer with a Brain Cell and Meme in Progress Usopp are chilling at this floating fish restaurant. The Giga Chad Chef they met who kicked an entitled Karen in the face has now given free food to a pirate in need, because he's a pretty stand up guy. Nice touch honestly. But now a man made of guns has arrived and declared war on the restaurant because he wants the logbook of the elderly chef who runs it (and has a pegleg, honestly I am surprised at the restraint in waiting this long for a peg leg on the author's part, though I am surprised also that it doesn't have a shotgun in it or an interdimensional portal to the food dimension, or something) so he can cross "The Grand Line" after a fuck load of his crew got their shit pushed in out there. Naturally the restaurant and old man want him to shove it, so a fight ensues. I like the wholesome army of chefs who cannot work elsewhere and will defend this place until death, it's becoming a theme. This villain is kind of meh, especially after the Cat Guy in the last volume, and he keeps doing that thing of shooting his own dudes in the face which... okay man, great tactic. Still, we get to see the Giga Chad (I think he's going to be my favourite) roundhouse spiral kick a bunch of dudes and that's honestly kind of cool. The Cartographer with a Brain Cell has pissed off with their ship and loot, which I should really have seen coming, but in my defence I was distracted by the chef pirate battle and the arrival of... I'll get to you... I'm looking forward to them confronting her and getting their stuff back, I mean: they literally only just got this thing! Anyway, the fight is fun, kinetic, vast, frantic, it's the first one which really busts free and does its own thing and isn't merely "Dragon Ball Z" showdowns (RIP Toriyama, King) between two guys in fields. But then this fucking guy arrives. "Dracule Mihawk", the man who cuts a ship in half. You can tell this series was started in the 90s, because he is cringe incarnate, he is the edgelord anime stereotype of a badass, spoken of like a whispering nightmare of death upon the wind. And honestly I find him super dull, super cliched and just not worth my time at all. Naturally he ends up stabbing the Himbo with only a small dagger and is going to be his nemesis for the series. I appreciate them bringing in a character who will be a recurring, soon to overcome villain, but for fuck's sake, can it be literally anyone else? I'll take that Morgan guy over him. I'll take the fucking Lion Tamer. But no, we get this towering inferno of cringe. Also, Usopp doesn't really have anything to do here, shame. Anyway, now they're battling a man made of bin lids who calls himself "Pearl". Sure.

Lorroakan loot:

[fahrquad pointing meme] Athkatlan!

Interesting. The staff is pretty okay for Gale but the robe isn't really even that impressive, at least as compared to the Potent Robe we got from Alfira all the way back in Act 2. So that will go towards the HGS Potions Fund.

I was gonna talk with Rolan but he seems to have disappeared so I'm assuming he's back downstairs and we'll talk to him later? Quick look around the tower first though.

First interesting thing - a note confirming that Lorroakan was a bastard, in case anyone needed it:

[fahrquad pointing meme again] Sellout! Asshole! Liar!

Honestly I'm relieved because if it turned out that he really HAD found some way to use her magic without hurting her then all of this would have felt a lot more complicated than it does. XD

He also has tried to write a book about himself to submit to the "Wizards of Note" book series, apparently:

That's more or less all that's up here, so heading back downstairs...

OK, going back downstairs we are caught by one of Lorroakan's projections and once again ejected from the shop for "HABITUAL VIOLENCE." No sign of Rolan.

INVISIBILITY AND BACK UP TO THE TOWER AGAIN!

Aha there you are. How you doing, Rolan?

"Lorroakan is dead. The bastard is dead."

"Are you all right?"

"I am. Now that the bastard's in bits." There's none of Rolan's old cocky confidence now. He just sounds extremely tired and sad. "Lorroakan was a cruel and vicious man. By day, I'd tend the shop, but at night - he'd fire the most nonsensical questions at me. And for every one I answered 'wrong', he'd beat me."

A pause. He looks down at his own palms. "I could've killed him with my own two hands, but I kept thinking it was all a test. It had to be. I thought it was the price I had to pay to become a true wizard. I realize now he was just a sick, sick man..."

Poor guy. Hector is no stranger, by now, to the terrible things that people in this world are capable of doing to each other. But it never fails to strike him with new ferocity every time he encounters it. Rolan has been a blowhard at times, but he's a good man at heart, and he doesn't deserve how his desire to better himself has been taken advantage of.

"He's dead now," he says quietly. "It's over. And you've won."

Rolan smiles slightly, with a hint of his old air of confidence - though muted now with experience. "I have," he agrees. "With your considerable help." He looks around thoughtfully. "I see things clearly now. If I wish to master the Weave, I must do it myself. Thankfully, I have everything I need - right here."

Hector grins. That sounds more like the Rolan he knows, and cocky though it is, it's good to hear it back, even a little. What he's proposing -- to take Lorroakan's tower for himself -- is certainly aiming high, though. "You'll be challenged," he points out. "I'm sure there are others who want the tower."

Rolan laughs softly. "Let them come. I happened across a book on the tower's defenses, and they are considerable." He's visibly starting to come out of the shock of the battle now, growing more energized. "I'll move Cal and Lia in immediately. Lorroakan refused to let them stay here. The are going to love the tower."

He pauses, then looks at Hector intently for a moment. "I wouldn't have this - the tower, my family - without you," he adds, with a more earnest tone than Hector has ever heard from him before. "What can I do to thank you?"

Hector smiles. The other man's gratitude and respect is worth more than any reward to him, and in truth he never expected to truly earn it. Were there less at stake, he would demand nothing at all.

But very soon, he will need people to stand with him against the terrible threat on the horizon. And Rolan has more than proved himself, over the time they've known each other.

"The city is under siege, from the inside out. I need allies," he says soberly.

"And you'll have me," Rolan agrees at once, nodding. Given everything they've been through, Hector is more than a little impressed at the lack of even a moment's hesitation. "I'll learn everything I can about the tower in the meantime, even if I have to rip this place apart. But know this - Ramazith's Tower, and its master, are now your friends. And when the time comes, we will stand by you as allies."

for the ask meme: 7! 11! 27!

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

oh god, it's just nice, innit? an absolute delight to just put words together. i don't think i'm very strong on plot or character, though i certainly try my best, but i love an image or a phrase. coming up with them really just feels like painting a picture. here's a nice stormcloud, a house at night, the mud on some boots.

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

stone cold. usually about ten percent or more of the final wordcount gets deleted.

i'm not a concise writer. my unedited writing is so florid, long paragraphs of and, and, and, and. all the shavings go into their own box as i trim back. i'm sad to see some of them go, but like the feeling of bringing bags of unworn clothes to the charity shop, it feels good too.

some of my favourite deletions:

Aziraphale enjoyed getting his hands dirty. Not in the way Gabriel might have meant it, riding the musty old coattails of utilitarian notions of the greater good, unmoved by collateral damage and its necessity for the benefit of a supposedly loftier goal. What Aziraphale truly enjoyed was a more harmless sort of mucking in with his human charges; eating their food, riding their transport (depending on who was driving), and participating in their rituals, from the quaint to the downright bizarre. - on the wings of a nightingale

“I’ll forgive you.” Richie’s chest hurt as he said it, like his ribs were pressing into something living and raw. He didn’t know how to do justice to the feelings he felt, couldn’t find the words to tell Eddie that the way he loved him was more than just butterflies and skipped heartbeats; it was something strange and slippery and massive, that pulsed and whispered, anything, anything, anything. - the other half is me

When he’d flown into Derry, Richie’s plane had sunk through turbulent clouds, ponderous with a sepia-toned still-in-Kansas unreality. He’d been sweating with fear, with apprehension, with the nauseating technicolor of memories coming up, too much, too fast. - i hope i find my home

Edward works as hard as any man on the crew, but a prideful little coil of hunger tells him this: no one else has brought back as many crates of loot as he has, rum and spices, tea and silks, gold coins and ivory-inlaid pistols. No one else captured a French vessel under unconditional surrender with only ten men at his disposal while his own captain and half the crew were in the hallucinogenic throes of terrible influenza. And no one else has borne so much of the brunt of the captain’s shifting moods, a broiling maelstrom eating away at the crumbling rocks, leaving them blasted and scarred in the currents. - we were the same

The ragged scraps of duty he’d stitched together to make this uneasy partnership with Bonnet work were now bellying angrily in the wind, frayed and full of holes. - when we fight about love

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Maxime sits heavily on the doorstep of his empty house. The scene in front of him is squared-off, a neat midshot flanked by parallel rows of townhouses, letterboxed by the sky above and the dirt-grey asphalt below. Within it, a triangle – a three-point imaginary line traced from himself in the doorway, to Frank’s position faux-insouciant against the engine-warm car, to Matthias’ turned-in shoes on the roadside. - avoir trente ans

oh boy. that'll be izzy hands, then. izzy was one of those "of course" characters to me as the perfect vessel for writing a story about desire repressed by shame, my signature move. but while other characters that i've written and lumped with those issues previously did have their own personality nuances (aziraphale, eddie from stephen king's it), none of them had quite the villain-coding that izzy gets in our flag.

trying to write a canon-truthful version of him in when we fight about love that was sustained over a multi-chapter plot, that was also sympathetic enough to make him a readable pov character, while not being overly excusatory about the things that made him dislikeable (power-hungry, dishonest, manipulative, jealous) was the hardest fucking thing i've ever had to balance in fic writing.

the sad thing, to me, is that an inexplicable spike of discourse somehow severed the fandom into two camps of haters and enjoyers, and from that moment on there was no way of engaging with this character without seeming to make a statement for one side or the other. i wanted to engage with izzy as neutrally as possible and with as close an eye on canon as possible to create an honest character study, but it still felt like stepping on landmines in every direction.

i did it, and i was happy with it - maybe the most satisfied i've been with anything i've written - but the atmosphere surrounding it made the whole process incredibly stressful.

more writer asks!

you know if Nino gets a chapter title referencing her she can't be all bad. right? right guys?

hey it's Vaida. there's a little light shed on her motivations but still not a lot. anyway Sonia tells her to get out

Sonia talks about human garbage a lot. in an alternate universe she is living her best life as a garbage truck driver

they really do have that sitcom frenemy energy huh. anyway, we get to eavesdropping. Sonia tells Nino she's going on a mission to assassinate Zephiel

shockingly, no one else thinks sending the fourteen year old to kill the twelve year old is a good idea. Sonia says that in Lloyd and Linus' absence (oof) she'll have to do and tells Jaffar to take her along. I'm sure this won't backfire

back to plot. this dude, Kenneth, teleports in and starts rambling about false gods, Shin Megami Tensei style. he also talks about how much he loves to watch people suffer, which I guess is just for the extra evil bonus points. then he teleports away. rude

so! there's two characters that have a chance of showing up. on this map, you get Harken if you don't kill two promoted enemies before turn 10, and Karel if you do. I went for Harken here, but will get Karel on my other file for completion's sake

Geitz we gotta talk about you starting sentences that way. he's talking about being deployed but still

little known benefit of promotions: hair extensions

surprise depressing first-person plural! let's get you to some therapy stat, man

you can recruit him with Eliwood, Hector, Oswin, Marcus, Lowen, or Isadora.

100% sincerity: this is an excellent first impression. it's not over-explained. you can infer what the unaddressed commands and usage of the first-person plural mean easily, and it adds that extra punch to his characterization. it's just a really good showing of who Harken is as a character. anyway, enough of me gushing

the fuck did I just say

100% sincerity again: this recruitment is also excellent. quickly establishes Harken and Isadora's relationship. him vanishing after realizing it's her is top-notch non-verbal characterization. Isadora's appeal to his sense of duty fails not because he's lost it or found it broken, but because he honestly feels that his duty is best served by dying, which is so interestingly fucked up. she has to appeal to his love for her. Isadora is really aggressive because she's trying to get him to not roll over and die. he even couches his eventual acceptance in terms of his lack of concern for his life.

anyway! newly promoted Heath putting in work. also he has swords now. Wyvern Lord go brrrrr

I agree with Hector, let's blow this pop stand

loot list:

- 1x Blue Gem

- 1x Guiding Ring

- 1x Talisman (consumable, raises Res by 2)

- 1x Bolting

Bolting is long-range anima magic, like Eclipse for dark magic or Purge for light. it's shown up earlier, but this is the first time in the game it's been usable. we'll be seeing it again very soon

twist of the century: Sonia is the worst

this is why the context of memes is important. like Nino is hyped to murder the twelve year old

next time: supports!

Scrooge: I guess you are my little pogchamp, c'mere...

Donald: Unca Scrooge, please stop trying to relate to me and NEVER say that again.

Tiny Tina's Wonderlands - Spoiler Free Review

I'll preface this by saying I'm not going to be giving a number / star review as it just gets too difficult and there are too many factors involved. There's a lot of text below the cut. Like, a lot. I have an English degree and I enjoy being wordy.

TLDR: Game good. Give it a try. Hotfixes and patches will knock this into one of the best Border-verse games out there.

Cons - (Because I want to end on a high note)

Farming / Loot Luck System - With drop rates tied to loot luck (and yes, even dedicated drops), and loot luck tied to 260 Dice hidden around the Wonderlands, it's going to get very old searching out these dice for each new character just to have "normal" drop rates for farming. As of now I don't hate it, because I only really have one save and I'm enjoying the challenge of finding them all... but after my second or third character hunting dice to have a standard 10% drop rate? Not ideal.

Continuing with this system, there are many named / unique enemies that don't respawn in the typical fashion (Over 70 named / unique enemies as reported by some of the content creators). Instead, they will spawn in the endgame mode, Chaos Chambers. Unfortunately this feels like the launch of Bordelands 3 where rare spawns rarely showed up (yes, it's in the name I know), and then still having a 10% drop rate for the designated item, and further dividing that number for each dedicated drop they had. I'm hoping Wonderlands will see a similar fix that BL3 had but that remains to be seen.

Chaos Chamber (Endgame mode) - The designated endgame mode, Chaos Chamber, is actually a lot of fun. However I can already see where the fatigue is going to set in when this is one of the only ways to get many of the unique / legendary drops after the initial mission complete. On top of this, we just need more. Borderlands 3 suffered from the same issue at launch, not enough to do after you hit max level and the credits roll. At the end of the lifecycle of BL3 we had two takedowns (and the true takedowns), six proving grounds (six true trials), a traditional raid boss (or two depending on how you look at it), and the "faux-raid bosses" which are really just enemies with raid boss level health. So we got there with BL3, I am of the opinion that the endgame is in a great space. I hope we get there with Wonderlands.

Also, mob density. We need more. Right now the Chaos Chamber doesn't feel chaotic enough... and it's literally in the name. So mob density needs to go up.

DOT damage from water / puddles. It's ridiculous. Hits harder than most enemies in the game. Which I mostly notice in the CC but it's everywhere.

Gimmick / Meme Loot - In typical Borderlands fashion, there are a number of gimmick / meme pieces of gear in the game. And as of now, having beat the story at max level and progressing through the Chaos levels, there just seem to be too many of these items... I feel like I find more gimmicky, Legendary spells than I do viable ones and I just want more options. Haven't found them all, this may change.

Rated T (minor con) - I don't know, there are just some moments that lean into the "Every previous game has been rated M and this one is rated T and so we are going to be meta and make fun of it" and I don't know... It would have been better if we just had it rated M and didn't have to be Meta about the whole thing? Minor. Barely bothered me. But I'm mentioning it.

Pros -

Will Arnett as the Dragon Lord - After the *mostly* disappointing Calypso twin antagonists from Borderlands 3 (and I did not hate them as much as the community did, although they still weren't the best), Will Arnett as the Dragon Lord is so. damn. good. Probably one of my favorite things to come out of this game is how good this character really is. When I saw people saying he is giving Handsome Jack a run for his money I didn't believe it... I get it now. Phenomenal character, phenomenal writing, phenomenal performance. I don't want to say this character carried the game, because I love a lot about his game, but I have come close many times because he is that good.

Character Creator - I was shocked at how in depth the character creator is. Coming from a franchise that had fairly limited customization for the stock characters, it was so much fun to create characters. And after the first playthrough you unlock so many new cosmetics for a new character that it just becomes that much more fun creating a new one. OR! Changing the look of your current character because you can change damn near every aspect of your character at any point for no cost! Such a great addition to the game.

Six Character Classes (with future DLC additions) - I never had an issue with four playable characters. Which meant that getting two DLC playable characters for a couple games in the franchise was a bonus on an already great system. Having six classes to choose from at launch, and being able to apply that class to the character you created feels so great. And the ability to multi class at a fairly early point in the campaign just feels natural.

Level Design - Beautiful. So much fun. And the fact that there are no vehicles in this game (and I didn't feel like I was missing them) just goes to show that the team did an amazing job on the level design. The verticality after the quality of life improvements from BL3 (mantling, sliding, etc.) just makes searching for those secret chests and collectible a worthy challenge.

Chaos Chamber (Endgame mode) - Yes, this goes in both pros and cons. The Chaos Chamber is a lot of fun to play and you get to actually earn that increase in chaos level. I didn't hate the Mayhem system in BL3, I hated the OP system in BL2, and the Chaos Chambers / Chaos levels feel like a happy medium between the two. Plus, with DLC releases, we will get more maps, enemies, and bosses that will appear in the Chaos Chamber giving it a nice fresh touch after launch as content releases.

Story / Writing - I didn't hate the writing in Borderlands 3. I can see where people didn't like it... and I can think of plenty of moments that were either too drawn out or didn't need to be there at all (including some incredibly cringey moments) but isn't that Borderlands? Maybe someone will dislike me saying this, but it is my review, but I swear most of the "Borderlands 2 story and writing is so much better than Borderlands 3" is 1. Nostalgia, and 2. The existence of Handsome Jack. Borderlands isn't strong on the story front. It never was. Wonderlands to me was a step up from Borderlands 3. Take that how you will. I like Borderlands, I like Borderlands 2, The Pre-Sequel, and Borderlands 3. Love them all. I also love Wonderlands, and I think the story is incredibly well written.

Combat Loop - The core of this game is Borderlands. It feels like Borderlands / Borderlands 3 in a number of ways, but one of the things that actually stands out in this title is the combat loop. With the addition of spells and melee weapons, the combat loop actually does feel different in a positive way. I use an Xbox Elite controller and have one paddle set to melee and another as spells. This has helped the new additions in combat feel more fluid and natural and I have really enjoyed it.

In Conclusion!

One of the best Border-verse game launches that I can remember. If they support this game with content, hotfixes, and patches... I don't know. It's already probably in my top 2 favorite Borderlands games so who knows what's going to happen. Damn good game. Worth giving it a try.

for the ask meme 1-7 for nox and the rest for xavier

Oh hell yeah!! (putting some of this behind a cut in case it's long)

What perk would they give the player?

The Chariot: When Nox is a companion, you gain a boost to your base movement speed, and low level enemies may flee from you. However, you take -1 LCK and speech checks have a chance to be influenced by her Terrifying Presence.

How do you recruit them? are there multiple methods?

Nox may be recruited through accepting the quest Dead or Alive. The NCR is offering 1000 caps for Nox's head or capture. If you accept, Nox will find you herself and you can try to fight her, or agree to help her run stolen NCR guns for the Westside Militia. If you choose the latter option, she becomes available as a permanent companion.

What raises and lowers their affinity?

Raises Affinity: doing quests for Westside, North Vegas and Freeside. [The biggest boost comes from completing Red Lucy's quest]

Loses Affinity: helping the NCR or Brotherhood of Steel. When her affinity reaches 0, if you cannot pass a speech check, she will kill you outright.

How do they react to certain things? what do they say? (eg. lockpicking, grabbing junk, killing?)

Looting [body]: "Do not waste time. We must keep moving.” / "Keep your caps. However, if you find any eggs..."

Hacking: "Next time, allow me to take care of the computer work. I shall grow old waiting on you."

Killing non-hostile: "Be cautious whom you go making enemies with."

Do they periodically give the player items? what kind of items?

Nox will occasionally give a free healing powder if asked. Once a day, you may request to pet Stink, her gila monster, and he will provide you a temporary +1 to a random attribute. 

Would they be able to do specialised task? (eg. repairs, hacking)

She's the Hackerman, and can provide access to any locked terminal.

Would they be romancable?

This is the most important question... But yeah, after completing her companion quest there would be a route towards being able to flirt/romance.

Romancing Nox would be a bit different though. She has a bigger heart than she lets on, but her approach to relationships is unconventional. While she’s had a lot of flings, she hasn’t ever been in a serious, committed relationship.

now for Xavier:

Do they have a unique outfit or weapon?

Xavier always wears his leather jacket, army pants and camo bandana. He also has a unique 10mm pistol: X's 10mm. This was his sidearm before the bombs fell.

What would be their personal quest, if they have one?

I don't have one for FNV Xav yet, but his post-game fo4 one is:

Old Revolutions: Help Xavier make peace with his past. While he hasn't truly accepted the deaths of his best friend, his mother and his sister, Xavier realizes needs to find some kind of closure. He will ask the player to travel north with him, to try and reach his mother's house in Muskeg Lake and give what proper goodbye he can.

What are their opinions on certain factions? (eg. brotherhood, NCR)

Xavier doesn't vibe with most factions. He worked with the Minutemen and Railroad until post-game, but had problems with their methods and limited ideas on who deserves helping.

In his Courier AU he works for the NCR but becomes disillusioned with them quickly, and goes AWOL and joins up with the Followers.

General voice lines? (in reaction to companion wheel selections)

(Gonna just pick a few of these to save on space)

Stealth: {to himself, quietly} "Just like old times."

Be Passive: "Of course. I'm not looking for a fight."

Be Aggressive: {hesitantly} "If you say so..."

Wait Here: "Lucky thing I brought that book... Wait-- Ah good, there it is. Whew. Anyway bye."

Follow Me: "Ooh, I love road trips."

Send Them to the Lucky 38: "Can't wait to sleep in a real bed for a change. Do hotels still have cable?"

Where would you find them in the world?

Xavier can be found either in Starlight Drive-Inn, out behind the movie screen. Alternately, you can find him in Freeside, hosting a midnight showing of a Space Trip holotape, projected on the side of one of the abandoned buildings.

Which game would they be from?

I have versions of him in both Fallout 4 and New Vegas.

I've been Ill all week, some of it due to my sleep schedule seemingly being determined by rolls on a D20, sone by having to get a tooth removed on Monday and the rest on the usual CFS bollcks.

And her I am wide awake again a 4am, when I have to catch a bus at 7:30am to go to the hospital thirty plus miles away to get lasers in my eye.

That's lasers shot into my eye, not them putting actual lasers in my eye, that would be reckless, unhelpful and darkly hilarious.

Not had much of an appetite all week eiter which hasn't helped, but having more money, breakfast cereal is always in the cupboard so malted wheaties with raspberry have been eaten a lot this week.

Gotten very little gaming or viewing done this week, Imhave dropped into the Doctor Who marathon on Twitch a few times. Almost six thousand people watching The Web Planet at 6am UK time, most other times there:s been over ten thousand viewers and the comments and emerging memes in the chat have been lovely. Lovely to see so many people enjoying the old Hartnell and Troughton stories. The genuinely surprised reactions to the big reveal at the end of The Time Meddler episode three were just wonderful.

Have played some Overwatch since the big anniversary event's been on and all previous event costumes are in the anniversary loot boxes, so I finally got the fifties' style D.Va I !issued put on last year.

Also had a real punch the air moment when I let off her self destruct and heard the announcer say "Sextuple kill!" for the first time ever as I took out the entire opposing team in one go.

Have also started watching Little Witch Academia which is goofy and hilarious.

Ok, think I'm going to give up on getting any sleep tonight and just go and watch more old Who on Twitch.