#i'm 5'1" so. that's like 100lbs overweight | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

disordered-angel · 2 months

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Lore & Stats

◇ Hii !! You can call me Angel. I'm 5'1" or 154 cm. I'm 19, and I've been disordered since 12yrs. I have Ednos, but I'm displaying more and more signs of ana with each kilogram I lose. I'm stonerexic, and I have a really hard time restricting but a GREAT time fasting :P

My stats and indepth lore (lmfao) below :P

(dw about reading it all, it's mostly for my sanity)

Stats

◇ HW (Highest Weight): 171lbs, ~77.6kgs (bmi 32.3, obesity class 1)

◇ LW (Lowest Weight): My CW ♡

◇ CW (Current Weight): 98.8lbs, 44.8kgs (bmi 18.7, healthy weight)

Goal Weights

🔓 165lbs,~74.8kgs (bmi 32.2, obesity class 1)

🔓 160lbs,~72.6kgs(bmi 30.2, obesity class 1)

🔓 155lbs,~70.3kgs (bmi 29.3, pre-obesity)

🔓 150lbs,~68kgs (bmi 28.3, pre-obesity)

🔓 145lbs,~65.8kgs (bmi 27.4, pre-obesity)

🔓 140lbs,~63.5kgs (bmi 26.4, pre-obesity)

🔓 135lbs,~61.2kgs (bmi 25.5, pre-obesity)

🔓 130lbs,~59kgs (bmi 24.6, healthy weight)

🔓 125lbs,~56.7kgs(bmi 23.6, healthy weight)

🔓 120lbs,~54.4kgs(bmi 22.7, healthy weight)

🔓 115lbs,~52.2kgs(bmi 21.7, healthy weight)

🔓 110lbs,~49.9kgs(bmi 20.8, healthy weight)

🔓 105lbs,~47.6kgs(bmi 19.8, healthy weight)

🔓 100lbs,~45.4kgs(bmi 18.9, healthy weight)

🔒 95lbs, ~43.1kgs (bmi 17.9, underweight)

🔒 90lbs,~40.8kgs (bmi 17.0, underweight)

🔒 85lbs,~38.6kgs (bmi 16.1, underweight)

🔒 80lbs,~36.3kgs (bmi 15.1, underweight)

🔒 75lbs, ~34kgs (bmi 14.2, underweight)

🔒 UGW 70lbs,~31.8kgs (bmi 13.2, underweight)

Lore

Binge Phase

◇ I left a severely abusive household at 12 years old, discovered food was actually available to me and went nuts. I gained from severely malnourished (weight unknown) to 130lbs (bmi 24.6) when I was 13 years old. I didn't really notice that i was gaining until i realized i had a flab in my stomach, and i couldn't run as fast. It didn't really bother me, though because I was too focused on gorging myself. I would have moments of enlightenment when I hated my body and was absolutely disgusted with my eating habits. I couldn't stop, though. I mean, I didn't even know what calories were !! I would call that my binge phase. It lasted until I was around 16. During that time, I would end up gaining to 171 lbs or ~77.6kgs (bmi 32.3). I really, really hated myself, and I didn't even really know why.

"Healthy" Phase

◇ When I FINALLY realized that I needed to stop inhaling food like a fucking vacuum cleaner, I was 17. I downloaded a (shitty) cal counting app and put my Limit at 1,300kcals per day. I still didn't really understand calories so I would consistently eat over. I also ended up getting "addicted" (not rly, just dependent) to 🍃 and some weird (15kcal) Carbonated drink.

My eating habits got a lil better and my weight went down to 152lbs or 68.9kgs (bmi 28.7). I still hated myself so much. One of the key moments in my downfall/uprising is having to step on a scale in the middle of a class full of (not including myself) skinny, pretty girls. I stepped on after a girl and I heard her sigh of relief knowing I weighed more than her. I heard her whisper to her friend that she was only 2 lbs less than me. (She then lost a bunch of weight following that and maybe had an ED)

This I guess, still didn't hit me properly so I maintained 152lbs (btw I was over on my calorie tracker consistently by 600kcals, my maintenence was ~1900 and I was "eating" <1300). Tbh nothing really was clicking for me, I tried intermittent fasting (I'd always break them for terrible food), working out (never could keep myself in a routine without burning out), I even tried p!rging (I don't even know why, I still sucked at it tho)

Honeymoon Phase

◇ I felt so stuck and useless at weightloss that I nearly gave up (AGAIN..🐷). Then one day, I was wearing lazy clothing, I hadn't brushed my hair or showered (and was clearly overweight) my bf and I went to the store. On the ride we realized there was something wrong w/the car and so when we got the the store he popped the hood.

I watched as he stood out there from inside the car. Two girls came by and talked to him (literally just asked if he needed help) and for whatever reason that was it. I realize now that it was because the girl who had talked to him, was my height, had my style and weighed like 50-60lbs less than me. I was so mad and embarrassed that I literally downloaded tumblr. Knowing it would trigger me.

That was July 20th, 2023. I've made several accounts since, some get t-worded, some get deleted while I'm spiraling. Here I am now and I guess that's all that matters :]

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