hi, sorry i’ve been kinda inactive recently, here’s some ocs because their canon birthday was yesterday

also!!! happy belated birthday to kel from the hit game omori!!! art block is kicking my ass still so i wasn’t able to make a drawing for him unfortunately, but at least i recently started writing the first draft of the kel-centric au i’m working on!!!! i’m so excited omg

It’s time for me to be honest. (Btw this has nothing to do with language haha!) I am one of those ‘He’s mine!!’ fans that so often get slagged off. I guess the only difference is that I keep my mouth tightly shut and don’t publicly say such things.

I’d just like to explain my point of view and how I got there, even though my story is not at all representative of the ‘He’s mine’ crowd.

I’ve been a fictosexual since before puberty. I’ve had 3 great loves in my life, two during high school which both lasted a couple of years, then nothing in my 20s as it was the shit period of my life unlike what Instagram would have you believe, and now that things are settled down again and I’m an old lady in my early thirties, I’ve found the (fictional) love of my life and it’s been four intense years. Unfortunately, a long time after I fell hard for him it turned out he was a lot younger than me (though not underage) lol so that makes things…interesting and sometimes very spicy.

So here’s what I want to try and explain even though it doesn’t often make sense to myself either. People often look at those who ‘simp’ for fictional characters as it being like a temporary or silly crush. And for many it is. I’ve seen many, many mostly female fans obsess and post about my ‘partner’ (that’s what I’ll call him from now on) for months and then abruptly stop or get bored when a new show or media comes along. This is not it for me. I hate the term simp. While yes, humourously I’ll ‘simp’ or make horny posts about my partner, the feelings I have are just as intense, if not more intense, than I’d have for a real person. I’ve only met one other person, irl or online, who shares the same commitment and intensity of feeling for a fictional character. And before you start imagining me with some sort of merch shrine and a tacky body pillow which I take on dates or talk to or whatever, I hate to disappoint you but I’m not a ‘waifuist’ in that sense. The only merch I own are a Funkopop and a t-shirt.

When I met this character, I felt understood. I felt a deep and intense connection to his life experiences which in many ways mirrored my own and felt I instinctively understood his emotions, goals, thought processes etc. Many people think that this is the same as a celebrity crush. It’s not. We don’t get to know celebrities on a deep level. But for fictional characters we often do. We get to see how they feel, what they think, their opinions on things. We see them in their darkest and lowest moments, their most vulnerable and to me my partner became a real person in my mind, and no, not in a schizophrenic or ‘something not right with me neurologically’ type of way. I don’t hear his voice or hallucinate him there. It’s hard to explain. It’s just, to my mind he is real.

So, to me he is the love of my life. Imagine seeing your spouse or significant other romantically involved with another person. It fucking hurts. This is what I feel when I see people ship my partner with themselves or their OC. I feel like I have been betrayed and cheated on. It literally hurts in my chest and I have cried after seeing this type of fanart before. I also ship him with an OC that is not actually a direct self-insert and differs from me in several major ways. And I write fanfic. A lot of very smutty fanfic, but ironically only xReader type which has been very, very well received. In fact, I’d say I’ve written the most m/f smut for this character and have gained a modest but loyal readership. The thing I often get told is how much people love getting lost in my stories and how intimately connected they feel to him when they read my reader insert fics and how intense and emotional it gets. I don’t know why, but when people comment on my fanfics that it makes them fall in love with my partner even more I feel happy and proud that I could write something like that. In any other context it breaks my heart.

I never tell people, either in my fanfiction life or my canonxoc fanart life, that I am personally in love and attached to this man because I don’t want to be one of those people that seem to get so much eye roll and hate. I don’t want to come across as possessive and start drama. But in my mind, he is only mine. He is the thing that makes me most happy in the world, that got me out of depression and suicidality when I was unwell and going through chronic illness. And still keeps me going. I understand him and he understands me like nobody else. He is literally the embodiment of my perfect man.

And before anyone says I need to go outside and touch grass or get professional help…I am a well adjusted member of society. I have a complex job, a dog, own my own place, I visit my family and have a great group of friends. I am not sitting miserable and weird and alone in my dark room obsessively scrolling.

But please try to understand, for some of us, a very serious minority, this is real. The feelings we have are just like the feelings you would have for a real person. This isn’t a disorder and we don’t need ‘help’. It’s just our objects of affection are different to yours. And unfortunately, we have to share our soulmates with hundreds and thousands of others. This is why I can’t really participate in my fandom either, because I can’t keep seeing bad takes on him and seeing him shipped with others. But it’s ok. I’m happy in my world of smutty fanfic and fanart.

--

People elsewhere will judge because they think you should love a real person instead. Plenty of people around here can understand this depth of feeling for a fictional character just fine. It's the lack of ability to share that sets you apart.

Today’s Thoughts:

I really really appreciate anyone who has shared what they think, be it anonymously or publicly. All opinions have helped, and I am going to try to find the time to respond to each one.

I just thought I’d clear some things up, because I was quite overwhelmed last night and chaotic.

I never considered changing the actual ending of the story. It is all written and it won’t be changed. I’m happy with it as a story.

If the story wasn’t already finished, I don’t think I would have found the motivation to finish it now. I am so fucking glad that the last sentence was written before this started.

The reason I am so hesitant about posting it all at once is, honestly, I like reading what people thought of each chapter. Each one is over 10k so it really is helpful to hear what people took from it and it’s a really fulfilling part of it. I’ve always said, writing the story was for me. Publicising it was for other people. I don’t get a lot out of it- comments are perhaps the only thing I like about that part of the experience. Even the critical comments, they give me a lot as a writer. That’s why I said I very selfishly don’t want to release it all. It’d be so much content and I’d get very little feedback for it. Again, I don’t particularly mind what feedback that is. I just don’t like seeing the hit count go up and having radio silence once my work is out there. It makes me feel dirty and like the effort was for nothing. Maybe even used? I don’t know. Again, I’m very probably a narcissist. 

As a reader, I never used to tell the writer what I thought. But it’s so so important in terms of interaction between reader and writer. Otherwise how will we know if what we have produced is a story worth telling at all y’know?

Some have suggested I release the story and then delete it. And I get that. I do. But I think that would be a horrible thing for me personally. To see all of that time and effort be consumed and then put in the trash, hidden, something to be ashamed of. I don’t know, I think that would just make me feel worse about it all. Again, personal opinion.

Some have said make it private, only let some people read it. But again, that removes the discourse, the feedback.

Fanfiction is free and I really believe it should be. Like it’s very mediocre writing, why the fuck should I gain financially off the backs of many others? But that is not to say that content should just be freely consumed without any recognition or acknowledgement of the creators. I want people to talk to me about what they think. I want the fucking discourse. People like @logicaldaydream and @jasperjoordan and the users who regularly comment on each chapter (eg randombellarke, @fearingdark, @wolfheartgirl​ etc- literally don’t think I don’t read them every time and cherish them) are the ones who have kept me committed to publishing it (Not writing it. I have kept me committed to writing it. A distinction worth making.)

The sad truth is, I can’t engage with my story in the way that I did before. I am staying quite neutral on the drama and even I still can’t look at Bob the same way. I can’t look at Bellamy the same way. That’s a personal perspective, I know many do not struggle with the separation but I have. If I could choose not to, I would.

I’ve considered rewriting with OCs. But in reality, this story is too mediocre to have any success as it’s own book. It’s a fanfiction. It relies on familiar relationships and preestablished connections to characters. Some might say it doesn’t, but honestly, it does. I know some fan fictions can be successfully altered in that way but I do not believe mine can.

At the end of the day, I’m fucking angry. I put time into putting characters I loved into a world I created and those faces have been marred forever by this. Whether the allegations are true or false, I’ll always remember this experience when I reflect on the Bellarke fan base.

And I’m not going to let this ruin the story I was telling.

What sucks is I doubt anyone else will bother to start reading it, and I doubt many will bother to continue. I know I for sure wouldn’t want to. Really I would not blame anyone for ditching this fic, at all.

But these last few chapters deserve to be up there with the rest of them.

Fuck Beliza. Fuck the entire community for making their personal lives our issue. Fuck the 100 and it’s problematic crew.

I’ll be posting chapters every couple of days from now on. Please read them if you ever enjoyed the story. Please comment and tell me what you thought of each because I don’t want this story to be made into a weird thing to be ashamed of, only to be read in the middle of the night when no one is looking, dirty secret kind of thing.

I am not responsible for the actions of Beliza/Arryn and I am fuming that my story feels tainted to me now because of them.

If this is just as messy and self-indulgent as the last post, I apologize. What I’m trying to say is, I’m selfishly disappointed that my story is going to lose a wide part of its readership, that the chapters I am most proud of are going to go either ignored and forgotten about or read and consumed without any interaction (kudos/comments) because people don’t know how to interact in this fandom now, myself included. Again, I do not blame that at all. I feel it very strongly myself.

I’m a working cog in a broken machine and I feel wasted. I think many content creators are now being wasted. Bellarke was the main inspiration for many of us and I’m not even that deeply affected by the allegations because I know that Beliza are not Bellarke. I’m more deeply affected by the current state of the 100 community. 

I think that’s all I have to say for now. I am bitterly sorry about what’s happened. 

Ending this story will be a good way to say goodbye for me, and I hope in a year or two when the show develops new audiences, my story won’t be tainted for them, like it is for the ones here currently.

If this has seemed pretentious, obnoxious, overly self-indulgent, I am not intending to sound that way. I just wanted to vocalize my attitudes to clear it up for myself to be honest.

- Em x

Okej så massor av frågor för the writing ask meme: 4, 5, 6, 11, 17, 20, 21, 22 and 23!!

oooooh, I love getting so many!! *rubs my hands together*

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

Camilla was a ghost. 

She was the ghost of Castle Krakenburg, that resided in the walls and could be heard giggling or running down through the hallway when a lonely maid found themselves all alone in the hallway. Servants whispered to each other in the corners, stealing a moment or two to chat away from the eyes of their superiors, and they talked about the crown princess that had died at a young age a hundred years ago and that still resided in the walls, looking over the court that never had become hers. Ladies in waiting tried to scare each other over tea with stories about a woman that had wrongfully been executed for a crime she hadn’t committed, the crime changing every time the story was told, and since then haunted the castle, seeking revenge on her long dead executor. The guards tried to best each other with the scariest story about the butcher’s twins that had been found dead in their room some forty years back. To the kitchen servants she was a concubine looking for her noble lover that had betrayed her, to the gardeners a noble’s unwanted bastard child, and to some… to some she was just superstition. The tales that surrounded her were endless. Camilla listened to all of them, perched in a sofa during teatime, overheard them while on her way to her next lesson, coaxed them out of the soldier in charge of overseeing the training weapons. She loved them all, loved hearing about the fear that she struck in people, and how completely off every theory was. No one seemed to connect them to the princess with purple hair. Yes, Camilla was a ghost. She was the ghost of Castle Krakenburg, everyone and no one at the same time. 

But she was also a ghost in other ways. She was a spirit that couldn’t get rest, who was condemned to tread through the same hallways, the same halls, the same days for eternity. She walked the same ways, from lesson to lesson she was supposed to attend, from library to music hall, and then down to her daily tea with Mother in the west drawing room. She was a tolerated presence, but she wasn’t much else. She was a princess, which gave her rank and status, but she was also the daughter of a court sorcerer, not a queen. She was someone and no one, a ghost caught in the world it once had inhibited but no longer had any place in. To servants she was someone to envy, her beautiful dresses and lavish dinners so far from their own world, like the dead envying the living. To nobles she was someone to scorn, her very existence a blight on the royal family, a subject to be sneered at like the living despise death. She was dead but alive. Alive but dead. A ghost with a heartbeat, a heart pumping around blood she didn’t deserve in her unworthy veins.

---

This is a bit long, I admit, but I’m very proud of it and I feel like the two paragraphs are so connected I couldn’t have one without the other. This is from my wip Inseperable about Fe Camilla’s childhood. I think she’s a very interesting character, even if canon doesn’t give her enough space or depth, and I wanted to explore how her childhood could have looked like. It’s a character study, I suppose you could say, as well as a look into how the actions and sins of others can shape your life before you have even been born. I have been working on this piece for quite a while, but it’s also progressively becoming longer and longer than I first anticipated... Heh. 

Speaking of, this ask is turning longer than I anticipated as well, so I’ll put the rest under a read more! 

5. What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

Hmn... Lawrence, I think. He’s an oc of mine, and even if he’s not my main character in the story, I believe he’s the character in the story most inspired by my own emotions and my way of viewing the world. Lawrence has to put on a pleasing facade, and his livelihood is dependent on others liking him. It’s only through writing that he is able to express what he truly thinks and feels, and even then he’s forced to do it in a subtle way or tone it down because his peices must always be entertaining as the first priority. My own situation isn’t as dire, but it’s certainly something I identify with. 

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

Oh, Dominic, without a doubt!! I really love writing him, not only does his personality, struggles and his relation to both Ethan and Rayne lend themselves to very interesting scenes and a joy to write, but they also leave room for sweet moments, hilarity, and a good amount of sass if I want to~ Not to mention that he inherited my love for big buff loyal men and I can live out my romantic fantasies of being carried bridal style through him,,, 

11. What do you envy in other writers?

The ability to create a plot, no doubt. I’m rather good with one shots, but when I try to write something longer like a multichap or something I tend to get lost in the details. I’m getting a bit better on it, though, because I have learned a few ways of making drafts and outlining and such, so it’s a tad easier. But one shots are still my forte, and I want to brave out in longer stuff. 

17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

Hmn... Now this sure was an interesting question... The most things I have heard about this is people being confused or surprised about the topics I decide to write about. It’s a tad darker and angstier than expected, I believe, haha. It seems blood and gore doesn’t really fit with the soft aura I have, and that surprises people. But this is what I’ve heard from friends and such, and I don’t know if that’s something that would surprise those who know me by my writing, not my personality or appearance.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Ohohohoho~ *rubs hands together* happily! 

While writing Inseperable there’s a lot of meta, actually, mostly callbacks (callforths?) to canon or building up to things that happen in canon. Canon shows that Xander has gone through many changes to mold himself into the perfect crown prince, but what I know it doesn’t talk much about how Camilla’s personality was as a child, and how she grew into what she became to be. So the most part of meta is building up to canon, like events mentioned in canon (like the concubine wars), but mostly how their personalities and bond has changed from childhood to the adults they are in canon. There I work a lot with how the past changes the present, even the past we had no control over, like who our parents are. 

In Madame Guillotine, however, the meta is a bit different. There I work a lot with circles, “what goes around comes around” and repeating history. For example, Rayne that shackles Dominic to him, and uses threats and punishments to keep Dominic in line, while remaining unknowing that that’s what his father did to his mother at the beginning of their (arranged) marriage. Or how Rayne’s father stabbed Dominic’s mother in the back and then publicly executed her without giving her the chance to defend herself and her country in battle, and then ends up meeting the same fate - betrayed, and publicly executed in front of a cheering audience, with no way of defending himself from Dominic’s revenge. It’s a bit of the characters sealing their own fates, pushing each other into craving vengeance, and then being surprised by the knife in the back it gives them. All of it is connected, everything a circle, going on and on... 

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

Well to be honest with you I wish I could make Inseperable into a film or something. There are a few scenes that I think would just be better on screen, that need a motion that is much harder to capture in words with the same emotion. 

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

Oh, yes, many times! It’s good to look back on old works, to find old ideas I had and see if there’s something I can recycle or, if the work is unfinished, mature into a improved version. I can also find inspiration there, older works I’m still proud over can fuel me to continue on on the projects I have. And I can always look back on them and see how much I have improved. When I read them I find myself editing the text in my head, which shows how much I’ve improved since I wrote it, and that I still am improving. It’s very refreshing to look back on older works. 

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

Hmn... This one is a tricky one, because most of the ideas I have in my head are things that I have for daydreaming, and it’s few that I actually have intention of writing. The story idea I’ve had in my head for the longest would probably be what would become Insperable, I think? Ever since I learned of the concubine wars when playing the game for the first time I wanted to explore that, as well as how the nohrian sibs grew to become so close despite that. But it took time for the plot to actually grow, and for the longest time it was just a vague idea of “I wanna write on this topic”, so I don’t know if it counts... 

This was really fun! Thank you so much for asking~! 

Hi! I didn't know who to talk to about this, but since you're one of the people in the fandom I look up to, I figured I should gather my courage and send this ask. As a writer, how do you deal with people's underwhelming response? Very few likes, just one or two reblogs, no respect or acknowledgement unless you open requests... It's breaking my heart at this point and I don't know what to do.

a…aaaa.. I can’t believe someone looks up to me. 

I’m sorry if this post is kind of all over the place. I kinda jump around with topics a lot.

Well, first off, I’m not going to lie- usually, I feel a bit hurt. It always hurts writing fics/drabbles/hcs and never seeing any response, or just very very little response. I often don’t write fluff or more serious topics because I know that those themes are always going to be overlooked for my smut instead. And if you’re a minor, writing smut is a no-go, which makes trying to gain traction or readers even more difficult.

There have been several times where I’ve barely gotten any notes on stuff I’ve poured a lot of time into. I’ve even written an off-anon request before only to have the person who requested it not even like/reblog it, or make any sort of comment. I’ve been there, we’ve all been there, and it’s tough to climb back up. 

I’m not sure how long you’ve been following me, but there was a point where my normal note count for hcs dropped from 700 notes down to 20-60 notes if I was lucky, just depending on what I was writing about. In fact, I even left the blog due to some bullying I was enduring and the combination of barely getting a note count that I had considered ‘good’. Since I’ve came back, I’ve focused on what made me happy, and even though I still have the knee-jerk reaction, I’ve learned not to try and compare notes. Ultimately, it’s made me happy, though I might have a bit of ‘survivor bias’ going on since I’ve been collecting readers since the start of 2017. 

I have a few things that help me out, and one of them is learning to appreciate the notes I do have.

For example, even though its just been a day, I only have about 29 notes on my recent yooran drabble. Thats not including my own reblogs, and then if I were to not include friend reblogs, it’d be about 27 or 26. That’s incredibly low for me, personally, because if I post up a fic (depending on the character and theme) I can get around 80-100 notes depending on how lucky I am.

(Now thats not me trying to tell you 30ish notes isn’t a lot, because it is!! It is a lot and if you ever get that many notes on a post you should feel proud of it! But, if you’re me and you’ve been here for a while, that’s low compared to other posts of mine. Please keep reading so I can explain more: )

If this was back to last year, when I was contemplating leaving my blog, that would have hurt me a lot more than it does today, because I was constantly in a loop of comparing notes with my other posts or even my friends posts. I had convinced myself that notes = quality, when that’s not the case at all. Believe it or not, just because a post has 5 notes, or 1 note, or even 0 notes, doesn’t mean whatever content on it is terribly written, or shoddy, or dumb. There have been wonderful hc posts, wonderful pictures of art that I have seen that have barely gotten 10 notes. 

So I think one thing that is hard to get yourself to learn is that a lack of notes doesn’t mean what you are producing is bad. Learning this is hard, and it’s especially hard when you’re constantly discouraged by lack of notes, but you need to write for yourself first and foremost. I haven’t been writing publicly for long, in fact I think the first fanfics I published were in 2016, but I had been writing since middle school. I used to carry a worn down composition notebook and write the most absolutely cringiest fanfiction ever. It had self inserts, it had ocs that were children of me and my favorites, it had terrible, terrible, references to games/music I loved as a kid- but no one read it but me. I never posted it online, and I wrote it to make me happy- and cringy middle school me was super fucking happy with that story. I’m pretty sure I was working through a second compositon notebook before I moved on from the show I was writing about. 

From that point on, I knew I liked writing. I joined writing classes, wrote cringy fiction for my english teachers to read (good fucking god bless my teachers for putting up with my terrible shit but still encouraging me).  

Eventually, since I liked writing so much and my drawing skills declined, I ended up promising to write stories for my friends birthdays. Where one person would be reading it, besides me, and that’s how it was until I posted my first MM fic on AO3. Even with those first few fics, I feel like it’s unfair to count them now, because they were posted just a few months after the game released, I believe, and I honestly just really consider myself lucky that those first two mm fics of mine got the traction they did.

But I think because I was so used to writing to make myself happy, it really fucked me up when I started trying on focusing my writing on only making others happy instead of myself. 

So, a lot of newer folks might not know this, since I’m assuming a lot of people think this is just a pretty photo queue blog with occasional posts, but I started off writing Hcs on here. At first, I don’t think they got a huge traction, but as I slowly got more followers, I got more notes and requests. But eventually it got extremely taxing to keep those up, because what I had wanted was to make others happy with them, but it’s hard to believe you’re doing a good job when you drop from 700 to 20-60 notes. And so I stressed a lot to the point of ‘leaving’ (but as you can see that ended up just being a few month hiatus), but one thing was that I was forced to acknowledge how bad my viewpoint was on the whole situation. I had lost the motivation of writing for myself to make me happy, and instead tried to treat myself as a writing machine only meant to make others happy. That’s not a healthy viewpoint when it comes to writing, especially if you’re doing this as a hobby.

Because of all that, I stopped writing hc posts and focused on fics, because writing fanfics made me happy. It still makes me happy, and because I kept on truckin and still posting, I’m accomplishing things I never thought I would accomplish. 

Writing for success is a long, hard, road that will often leave you unsatisfied, but writing for yourself is a shorter road that will make you happy- even if it’s just venting away emotions you couldn’t let out in any other way.

If it helps you out any, because I’m unsure if I’m making any sense, some pieces that I’m super happy about are pieces that no one but me and maybe one other person has seen. They’re locked away as drafts or in folders and I’m even unsure if I’ll share some of them.

Besides all of the stuff I’ve mentioned, if I’m feeling bad and what I just told you isn’t helping me, sometimes I just talk to a friend or two. Just hearing someone in real time, even if it’s possibly extremely bias or something, tell me that they like my stories or they think my writing is good- that still means a lot to me, and sometimes it perks me up. If that’s not an option with you, you can always talk to your family as well, or old teachers you may have shown some of your work to. I’m very fortunate to have a few teachers willing to help me out with a few questions, even though I’ve…long since graduated orz.

I’m sorry if none of this helps. But if anything, please please don’t give up writing. If you choose to do something like that, please have it be 100% your own decision that isn’t influenced by a note or hit count. I’m positive that whatever you are writing is good, and I know that not seeing that note count get higher hurts, but that note count has absolutely no bearing on how well written your story is.

If theres anything else I can talk to you about, please feel free to send me some more questions, and again I am really sorry if this didn’t help you.

@sapphicsage Mouthwash here Sorry people keep on asking if you mod this blog? I mean personally I always thought it was pretty clear who we are but sorry anyways. I can see how that would be a pain in the ass. Personally I never saw your messages so I have 0 on that. Other mods are away for a few days, and I wanted to clear this up now as I can see you’re antsy to get a response. Sensitive content below just a warning.

Okay, while I really can’t talk about anything aside from Minty, due to being a new mod and having nothing to do with that stuff, the other mods can. I knew Minty very personally, that’s true, and I can assure you that they are not one to be defended, and people should be warned. They know what they are doing and continue to do it while digging holes. Most of the stuff we post is in response to questions that people have sent us anyways. Minty was well aware that a playboy bunny style outfit was sexual, and would often point out how asks they would respond to with art of their at the time underaged characters were also sexual. (Not to mention the actual child porn they drew whoops). While coping is defiantly a thing, it shouldn’t be posted online for other people, minors included, to see, that’s appropriation, as I’m sure you know. You’re not the only victim I’ve talked to about Minty with, and it has honestly made one of my friends almost throw up due to the panic. Not disclosing names for privacy, of course. Your thoughts on the matter are important, but don’t speak for everyone. We don’t provide information without something to back it up, and these issues could not have been solved in pms with them, trust me I’ve tried and it backfired like hell. It’s been almost a year since I started this fight and I refuse to go down quietly. Minty has been known to also enjoy a fare bit of r*pe so if that’s your thing you know where to go. On my personal I try not to start shit, no one likes a witch hunt, but on here I feel a little bit more comfortable venting, and others do too. It’s that kind of place. I never said I was a pure little tumblr baby uwu, I’m not, like any person I get pretty pissed off when I see disgusting stuff. About the trans thing, I am a transmale so I feel like I have some say in this. I have, in no way, never called Minty a ‘fake trans’. Minty (the person not the oc here) is not cis, not a transgirl, afab, and their sona is also not cis, but a transgirl. I’m personally a transmale, and I wouldn’t make my sona a transgirl, as our struggles and situations are very different. Having a cis sona is ok though because like you said, it’s a comfort thing. Someone who isn’t a transgirl shouldn’t have a sona who is. Someone who isn’t a transboy shouldn’t have a sona who is. But, I don’t speak for everyone.   And yeah I’m kinda mean, I’m not afraid of that, but I try to be as realistic as possible and don’t spread lies or cause witchhunts. I personally back up my stuff, why start a fight you can’t win. If any of the info I posted above doesn’t seem right I can provide stuff for you, but there isn’t really anything to prove here. All this being said there is no rule saying you have to like us, but a lot of people do, apparently, and we get messages thanking us for coming out and saying what other people can’t. We aren’t a bunch of flower children here, but this isn’t the place for that, this is a place to get it all out in the open. I will never, ever, feel bad for being a bitch to a racist, a pedophile, an anti-sjw, or anyone who is trans/homophobic. Ever. They deserve it. Here’s a message from another person who was involved in the Minty situation who I know off the internet: “Hey so, you mentioned your story about your experience, so I’ll mention mine. When I was in kindergarten, 5 years old by the way, an older kid who was a fifth grader I believe assaulted me. Perhaps you wouldn’t consider that ‘pedophillia’ since you think the age of the person is all that matters. But the fifth grader, his name is Troy, unzipped my jeans on the bus and reached down my pants. When i was nine to eleven years old, a guy seven years older than me, he’s 25 now, asked me to date him and send him nudes.(edited)When I was twelve I dated a guy named Andrew who was a year older than me, who guilt tripped me into dating him, camming and sending him nudes, to which he shared with our adult friends in our group chat because they also wanted to see. Perhaps this wasn’t with adults or anything, but a lot of times, adults were involved in these situations. When I got older and Troy graduated high school, when I was a freshman his friend came up to assault me and insult me. When I entered middle school, the guy seven years older managed to hunt down my skype info and tried to figure out where I lived so he could 'pick me up and take me somewhere fun’ like he promised. When I was a freshman I got into a relationship with a guy named Dominic, who, later I found out, assaulted a friend of one of my future friends and right before I broke up with him, tried to assault me. He continued to give me weird looks and faces at school until he graduated. He was 19. The story here is I too am a survivor of sexual assault, pedophillia, incest as well but we’re not gonna go into that right now. Just because you’re a survivor doesn’t mean you speak for all of us. As a survivor of pedophillia I personally believe mintysquids is a pedophile. Though I suppose I don’t speak for everyone who’s a survivor and neither do you. Do not undermine other survivor’s voices because you believe that minty isn’t a pedo. I believe minty is a pedo, many of us believe minty is a pedo. And you do not have the right to say what we think is wrong, I am a survivor with my own opinion, and you your’s. So get the fuck out of here with this whole pedo defender shit and look at the people you’re addressing.” That’s about it. Another mod has also been prayed on and knows all too well the dangers of aging up a character, and has some stuff to say but is way too busy at the moment. Please use actual information before calling us out, and back up your sources. I know this is a longer post but hey, a lot of ground to cover. Our word is far from final, but there is my take on it all. I’m not going to continue to argue with someone who feels the need to twist words in order to sound right, so please forgive me if I don’t waste more of my time on this publicly. If you would like to talk about this in PM’s, I’ll be more willing.