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chaoswillcalmusdown · 6 years

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Title: runnin’ on my mind, boy Pairing: Sana/Yousef Summary: Sana gets a part time job in a café, has to face Yousef Acar once again and then ends up as his date to a wedding. Rating: T

Written for the lovely @stressedoutteenager as my @yousanaexchange gift. I hope you like it!

THURSDAY 23 NOVEMBER: ISAK AND EVEN'S APARTMENT

It really starts in November when Sana sits down with all the Russ budget calculations - because even though their bus is small, it's still a Russebuss - and her list of things she needs to do and buy in the next few months. She and her family only do a small christmas celebration, which started when Sana and her siblings were little and jealous that everyone else got presents but they didn't and has since just become a nice winter tradition, and she usually ends up taking part in a few parties that have a secret santa concept, which also means that she'll want something new to wear, maybe a cute christmassy sweater. Sana had expected to be able to save up money from the summer, but she doesn't have nearly as much saved as she'd like. While Sana is sure her parents would be willing to help her out, she really doesn't want to have to ask her parents for anything. Instead, she applies to every job she can find that she could possibly do. A few weeks down the line, she's gotten zero replies. She complains to Isak about it, about how she really doesn't want to ask her parents for more money. Isak is really unsympathetic because he's not going to be part of any Russebuss so he doesn't understand the stress. They're sacked out on his sofa, trying to revise for chemistry. Or, Isak has begged Sana to help explain something that he missed so he doesn't fail. Still, Sana counts it as revision.

Isak pauses, strangely thoughtful, then calls out, "Hey, babe, didn't you need extra staff at KB?"

Even leans out of the kitchen, soapy gloves and all, "Yeah, we kind of always do," he sighs, "why, what's up?"

"I've been applying for part time jobs, but I'm not getting anywhere," Sana sighs.

Even's face lights up. "Sanasol, come work with me! It'll be amazing!"

Isak looks purposely over at Sana, "You're welcome."

SATURDAY 2 DECEMBER: KAFFEBRENNERIET

Even ends up getting both Sana and Chris interviews, and the boss seems to trust Even's judgement, or they just really make a great impression because they both get hired.The introduction at KB is pretty basic, but the coffee machine looks intimidating. Even assures them that it looks scarier than it really is, and that he has every faith in them.

"But, it's easier if you really get to practice with it so I think we nominate one of you to get the hang of it first."

Christ immediately backs into the back, saying "I'll go wash some more cups," while Sana glares at the door swinging shut behind her.

Even pats her on the head. "You're gonna be a surgeon, Sanasol. Don't let the espresso maker beat you."

Even is a surprisingly good teacher, though he claims that Sana is just a brilliant student, and she picks it up pretty quickly. She doesn't burn herself nearly as much as Chris, and she's pretty good at handling pressure and multitasking, so she prefers making drinks while Chris takes the orders. And Chris, being the social butterfly that she is, also prefers it that way. She chats up literally every customer, and flirts cheerfully all day long. But it keeps the customers from getting grumpy when Sana takes too long or has to redo something, so it's all good.

Of course, once their friends and Elias find out about their new jobs, they suddenly get a lot of customers that they know. Elias tries to get family discounts, which Chris finds hilarious, while Sana just wishes she could escape through the wooden floor. But then Mutta steps up to order, which shockingly stuns Chris into silence for a hot second, before she turns the flirting up a whole lot, leaning over the counter and fluttering her eyelashes. Sana can't help but snort and look over at Elias, only to lock eyes with Yousef friggin Acar. He's smiling like he can't really help it but he's also flicking his eyes between Sana and the Chris-and-Mutta thing like he can't look away, even though he wants to. Thankfully, Mutta doesn't look intimated at all, instead he's leaning into it, heart eyes focused on Chris with a giant smile and just the slightest blush visible high on his cheeks. When it's Yousef's turn, they're still flirting so Sana sidles up to the register to take his order before she makes both drinks.

After Sana has greeted him normally, Yousef smirks, tilting his head, "So, I guess everyone doesn't get that special treatment in here, huh?" He gestures to the side.

Sana laughs, feeling her cheeks flush slightly, "Flirting is more Chris' job, to be fair. Or Even's." Chris finally snaps out of her flirting enough to at least take Adam's order, though he's laughing too hard to really be bothered about the wait.

"That's a shame," Yousef says, still smiling wide. Sana's brain goes into a panic mode and she turns away and grabs two mugs in auto mode, stumped as to how to even respond to that comment without embarrassing herself completely. She hasn't seen much of her brother's friends since she started her last year of high school. To be fair, she hasn't seen much of Yousef since he came back from Turkey and their flirting fizzled out. Seeing him up close like this brings back all the nice memories and the realization that she is no longer desensitized to Yousef Acar and his ridiculously lovely smile.

She finishes his and Adam's coffees, and once she hands them over, she makes eye contact and tries really hard to not react to his warm hands or that smile. "I know you're busy with university applications and all that," he says, "but it's really nice to see you," and Sana thinks she's gonna explode. After all the time she spent convincing herself that they wouldn't work, and that Yousef wasn't the right guy for her, she's still putty in is palm. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she remembers her mother's advice about marrying a non-muslim, and even without that, it's been over a year and there's no way Yousef could actually still like her in that way if he ever had. It's just been too long, and surely he's moved on at this point. She sighs, moving back to the espresso machine to start the next order. When the boys have all sat down in the corner, Sana turns her back to the cafe and blows out a loud breath, planning to get Chris to take over so she can escape to the bathroom for a while. When she looks up, Chris is grinning like the cheshire cat.

"What?!" Sana snaps, defensive as always when people see her showing emotion or weakness.

Chris' face softens. "It's just nice to see you smile at someone who isn't the girls. Or your brother. You're cute when you prove that you're actually a human and not just the 'perfect hijabi robot'."

It's sweet and at the same time way too perceptive for comfort, but they're in public so Sana rolls her eyes, but bumps Chris' shoulder and then there's another customer approaching and Sana forgot all about her desperate need to escape Yousef's perfect face.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON 09 DECEMBER: YOUSEF'S HOUSE

Yousef has always regularly frequented this specific KB, though not really until he and Even made up, but he'd be a liar if he said he didn't go in more often to see Sana. One Saturday afternoon, a few weeks before Christmas, Yousef's chatting to his cousin Metin, who is the same age and is about to get married, while he tries to figure out a plan for his exam revision. He's stressed and tired and when Metin starts asking about Sana - because Metin was one of the few people Yousef could tell about his feelings for Sana - and how Yousef needs to get a move on with the relationship before she loses interest and the teasing just ramps up until Yousef accidentally says that he's fine on the relationship front, thank you very much. He's never been able to keep his cool when he and Metin end up competing over something, but this is definitely the dumbest thing he has ever said. Even worse is the fact that his aunt overhears him - he may have yelled a little - and comes over to gush at him, then runs out to call her mom probably, which means that everyone in the entire family will know. His grandparents, all his aunts and uncles, just everyone. And they'll all be expecting him to bring someone to Metin's wedding - because that's what his family does to everyone over the age of 15 at weddings - but specifically they're going to be expecting to meet his long time girlfriend. In less than a month's time. Shit. Yousef's left blinking at the screen while Metin laughs at his expression for a long while, and then Yousef just hangs up.

SUNDAY 10 DECEMBER: KAFFEBRENNERIET

As the most reasonable out of the boys - and because Even is busy - Yousef tracks down Elias at KB and recruits him to listen to the entire shitty situation - though he leaves out all the details about him still pining over Sana because Elias is her big brother after all. He rants at Elias for at least half an hour, while Elias sips at his frappe, laptops and textbooks pushed aside. When he's done Elias looks at him for a while, eyebrows furrowed.

"Why the hell did you tell him you were dating someone?" is what Elias has to say. Yousef sighs, dropping his head onto the table. "No, seriously. This situation was so unavoidable."

"Yes, thank you, Elias, I realize that. I didn't mean to do that. Can you help me fix it? Literally my entire family knows. My mom asked me about my girlfriend this morning and why I didn't tell her already, and was that the girl I brought soup that one time, and will she meet her before the wedding and blah blah blah."

Elias looks at him like he's dumb. "I truly don't understand how you could accidentally say you've got a serious girlfriend when you so clearly do not." Then shrugs. "The only real solution is telling everyone you lied, but that makes you look kinda crazy. And showing up to the wedding alone after would make them all pity you so hard. So, I think you should bring a fake girlfriend."

Because Yousef's life is a soap opera, Sana appears at the end of the table to clear some empty plates, and asks, with that slightly condescending, but still playful smirk she has, "what's this about a fake girlfriend?"

If Yousef hadn't mashed his face against the table, he'd have seen the way Sana's smirk faltered a little like she actually cared.

Elias sighed, "Yousef accidentally told his family that he's seeing someone, and doesn't want to tell them the truth because that would expose how truly embarrassing his life is and then everyone would spend his cousins wedding pitying him. So I said he should bring a fake girlfriend to the wedding."

"Wow, Elias, thanks for that." He chances a look at Sana, sighing and running his fingers anxiously through his hair before he looks back at Elias. "I don't know any girls, and I can't ask some stranger to go to a wedding with my entire crazy family. I'm just gonna have to admit that I lied and I'm pathetic."

When he looks back up at Sana, she's looking at him with a slightly tilted head, then inexplicably says, "I'll do it."

Yousef just gapes at her. "Really?"

She shrugs, smiling. "Wouldn't want your whole family to know you're a mess."

He profusely thanks her and promises to make it up to her. Sana rolls her eyes but she's smiling. "Oh, you'll owe me."

Yousef has never been more in love. She turns and walks away, literally taking his breath with her.

"You're welcome," says Elias, smug as anything.

Yousef chokes on his latte. "What? That's crazy, Elias, I can't fake date Sana!"

Surprisingly, Elias laughs. "Okay, so we're pretending you guys haven't been flirting with each other for years? Do you remember that time you threw grass in her face? Or all the times you go to 'get a drink' when Sana happens to be in the kitchen and then you don't come back until we drag you back."

"Oh my god," Yousef buries his face in his hands. "I can't believe you knew."

"Yousef, buddy, pal, friend," Elias huffs, "I can't believe you thought you were subtle."

Yousef's still convinced that Elias doesn't realize that he and Sana might have been going somewhere serious with their relationship, and he doesn't really think that it would be a good idea to tell him.

MONDAY 11 DECEMBER: KOLLEKTIVET

Sana and the girls are making gingerbread after school, Vilde and Chris had prepared the dough over the weekend and they'd all brought in some cute cookie cutters. When Sana gets there Noora is fiddling with the christmas playlist while Vilde wipes the kitchen counter and Chris is stood to the side, sneaking little bits of dough into her mouth. Sana catches her eye and Chris winks while Sana gives her a disgusted look. She's about to say something when her phone chimes and she pulls it up to see that Yousef has been dragged into wedding preparations and he's sent her a frowny selfie of him surrounded by ribbons and dry flowers and other random wedding things. Sana can't help but send a selfie back, followed by a line of crying laughing emojis, and then brag about her free afternoon. Yousef replies with a crying Jordan meme which makes Sana laugh out loud.

"Well, well, well," Noora says, making Sana look up. The girls are all watching her, smirking.

"Who's got you so smiley this afternoon?"

Sana clears her throat, trying to appear unfazed, "It's nothing," she says, shaking her head.

Chris, the traitor, goes "Are you texting Yossi?" causing Noora and Vilde to gasp loudly. Noora had bugged Sana for a while about Yousef, and what had happened.

"You have to tell us everything," Vilde demands, crossing her arms.

Sana sighs, and almost refuses on principle. But she knows that she needs to share more things. So she takes a deep breath and bargains, "I'll tell you while we start baking." Vilde purses her lips as she thinks it over but then agrees and hands Chris a rolling pin, grumbling at her to stop eating their beautiful creations. While Chris is rolling out the dough, Sana gets handed a mug of tea by a winking Noora and she decides it's better to get this over with. So she starts talking about how Yousef's come into the shop a few times and then ends up telling the girls the whole story.

"Wait," Noora interrupts after a while. "You're going to a wedding with him?"

Sana nods.

"But it's not a date?" Vilde asks. "Like, you're his date to this wedding but it's not a date date."

"Right."

"What?! Why would he ask you to go to a wedding if it's not a real date? You don't take a friend to a wedding. Weddings are super romantic."

Sana's phone chimed again and Noora laughed. "Yousef again?"

Sana looked down. "Yeah, he has to get fitted for a lilac suit because he's in the wedding party, and he's not happy about it." When she looks up, the girls are all smiling at her and she realizes she has a dopey smile on her face. She coughs, trying to change the subject.

"I really hope he's not leading you on, Sana," Vilde says. "That's not okay."

Yousef agonizes for a while, and then decides he has to try and come clean with someone. He goes to tell his mom that his girlfriend is actually fake because he feels guilty about how she keeps smiling at him and ruffling his hair. It goes like this:

Yousef walks into the kitchen while she's putting away clean dishes and clears his throat gently. "Hey, mom, I just wanted to say something, you know about um my girlfriend-"

"Oh, honey, you know I'm just so happy for you. I wasn't going to tell you but I think you've been different lately, less stressed maybe and I'm just so happy that you've found someone who you feel so comfortable with that you're bringing her to a family event." She looks over at him with slightly teary eyes and Yousef just opens and closes his mouth a few times, before giving up. "Sorry, sweetie, what did you want to say?"

Resigned, he says "Um. Just, that I'm excited to introduce everyone properly." Then he walks back into his room and drops, face down into his pillow.

WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON 13 DECEMBER: KAFFEBRENNERIET

Somehow Yousef gets Sana to agree to help Yousef shop for a new dress shirt, and he needs to go to the wedding suit place to check that his lilac suit fits properly. The fact that they're making plans to hang out on an afternoon feels like a date, even though Yousef knows in his heart that it really isn't. He waits for Sana at KB, having a sandwich and chatting with Even who is wearing a Lucia crown in honour of the day. Even gives him a lot of strange looks, and wiggles his eyebrows a lot during their conversation, but Yousef doesn't understand why, or what it's supposed to mean. He buys himself and Sana some drinks, and when Sana shows up they head out into the snow.

They start with his fitting, and then head toward a fancy-ish department store. Yousef gives Sana control over his shirt and tie choices, and she seems to immediately know what she wants and picks out both items within 15 minutes. It's all very impressive. Sana then drifts over to the jewellry section while Yousef pays, and he can't help but notice which necklaces and bracelets she lingers over. Once they've picked up everything they'll need they go for dinner and then Yousef walks Sana home. All without ever touching on the elephant in the room. Or any hint of awkwardness because of said elephant. A part of Yousef wants to ask why Sana was so quick to agree to pretend to be his girlfriend when she seemed to give up on them as a couple a few months earlier. Maybe her mom really didn't approve of him. Or maybe his struggle with his religion was just too much for her. But he doesn't know if he wants to hear the answer.

FRIDAY 15 DECEMBER: SANA'S PLACE

When Sana gets home from school, texting her mom for help with a hijab style she thinks she wants to try out for the wedding, Even appears and demands details. When she looks at him questioningly, he whispers "Details, from your date with Yousef. I need all the deets, Sanasol."

Sana blinks at him for a while, and can't help but sigh. "There are no details, Even. It wasn't a date."

Even frowns, "But.."

Sana shrugged.

"What the hell," Even exclaims.

Sana's mom calls for her from the kitchen, and Even pats her on the head before going back into the living room.

Sana heads into her room and pulls out her prayer mat. She's starting to feel nervous about spending a whole evening pretending to be his girlfriend so she prays, revelling in the habit and the normalcy, and hopes that she'll gain clarity. She's nervous both because it might be really awkward, but also because they've gone back to kind of flirting with each other so easily that it might not be awkward at all. She doesn't really know which would be worse or what each possibility might mean.

Her mom comes in as she's securing the hijab, fiddling with the back, even though she can't see it, and sits on her bed, looking at her with a thoughtful expression. "So, you and Yousef are going to a wedding.." she starts, and Sana sighs. She'd had to explain the whole thing, but her mom hadn't believed that it wasn't a real date. "Sana, you remember the conversation we had-"

For some reason, even though she doesn't think that she and Yousef are ever going to be together like that, Sana decides that she needs to just ask her mom to trust her in this. She doesn't want to hear a repeat of that conversation they'd had. "I remember, mom, you don't want me to be lonely in a relationship so you think that it would be harder if I marry someone who doesn't have the same kind of faith as me. And I've thought a lot about that, really a lot, and I don't think that's true for me. Whenever Yousef and I have talked about Islam, I don't feel like I'm having to explain myself like how I feel with the girls sometimes. I know he understands me, even if he believes differently or expresses his faith differently. He gets me. You know, what is important to me is marrying someone who has the same values as me, who respects Isak and Even and who respects me, and not just someone who says he believes." Sana stops for a moment and realizes how she'd just blurted out what she wanted to say to her mom those months ago when she should have. Now, there's nothing going on with her and Yousef at all. Trying to backpedal, she says, "I mean. It doesn't matter, nothing is going to happen-"

While she's talking, or ranting really, she realizes that maybe she needs to muster up the courage to actually tell Yousef how she felt and still, apparently, feels. To see if he feels the same, officially. So she can properly move on if he doesn't feel anything. Even though her stomach turns at the thought, she knows she can't just keep flirting with him and pulling back, and then flirt more, and pull back again.

"Sana, sweetheart, I was going to say that I think I was too rash in my advice. I think that your faith is so strong, and you are so strong in yourself, that whoever you deem worthy will be the right person. I would never have married someone I liked at 18 but I know you are mature and I shouldn't dismiss your feelings."

Sana goes into the kitchen for some air, and of course there is Yousef, making tea. He makes her a cup, smiling sweetly at her. Adam comes in to help, and Sana realizes when he keeps looking between her and Yousef that they're completely silent. For once they're kind of awkward around each other, and she doesn't know what that means. She mumbled out a thanks for the tea and then runs back to her room and hangs up the hijab, pulling on a big hoodie.

After the boys have left, Elias begins to worry that something's wrong. Sana's fidgeting on the other side of the sofa, something she never does. Then, suddenly Sana starts talking, more like ranting, and Elias' stomach drops.

"That was really weird, Elias. Was that not weird? It's like. He flirts with me on and off, he sent me all these cute memes on facebook. And then he lied about the vodka to protect me. And -" she doesn't really want to go into further detail. "And now I'm going as his fake date to a wedding. What does he want? What am I doing?"

Elias just looks at her for a moment. "You really like him, don't you? Like, you genuinely like him."

Sana looks away. "I don't know. I guess. I- I shouldn't. There's no point, anyway. He doesn't like me like that. Not after all this time. And we're too different, that's-"

Elias sighs. "I thought he was more into you than you were into him. I didn't realize, or I would've stopped this whole thing."

Elias is woken up at 7 the next morning by text messages from Yousef in increasing levels of panic, which end with "she's literally my soulmate and I just asked her to pretend to be my girlfriend and i messed up our friendship but she's my soulmate. your little sister. what is life. what do i do now? how do i fix us??? how do i ever impress a girl who was my pretend girlfriend bc i'm a mess and a coward??" Elias sighs and texts back a supportive "just tell her the truth, idiot. just ask her out for real" text before he turns over and pulls the sheets over his head. He's not awake enough for this yet.

SUNDAY 17 DECEMBER: METIN AND AMELIA'S WEDDING

Before the ceremony, Sana is introduced to a bunch of Yousef's relatives and she chats with his mom for a while, because she hasn't seen her in awhile. During the ceremony she sits behind Yousef's family, while Yousef stands next to Metin.

When Yousef walks up to her after the ceremony, Sana brings up how lovely the wedding was and Yousef agrees which makes her wonder how he sees his future wedding. So she asks.

"I'd definitely want something like this," Yousef says, shrugging. "As long as the person I'm marrying wouldn't think it was blasphemy, you know. I might not feel totally comfortable saying I believe, like I did when I was 13, but I'm realizing that's partly me being too much in my head you know? Even helped me a lot with that, we've talked a lot about religion and stuff since we started talking again. And I've started going to the mosque, I don't know if Elias told you? I realized that I can question some things within my religion without fully rejecting it. After all, I grew up muslim and it's felt strange to just completely back away. I don't know, maybe it doesn't make sense to you."

Sana's looking off at the other end of the room where the bride and groom are talking to their parents. "No, I get that. Maybe you wouldn't expect it from me, but I do question things, too."

"So how do you fully accept that?"

Sana sighed, looking over at Yousef. "You're asking me like I have all the answers."

Yousef shrugs. "Sometimes I think you do."

Sana laughs. "Wow, Yousef. I really don't have any answers. But the way I know islam is as a religion that thinks every single person is worth the same. So, therefore it doesn't matter if you're gay or if you're a man or a woman. It just matters that you're a good person. That you try to be good to others."

Yousef nods, smiling. He doesn't say anything, just looks into Sana's eyes for a long moment, which both unnerves Sana and gives her massive butterflies. Sana slips away to the bathroom, and once in there she stares at herself in the mirror for a while. She had expected some awkwardness, or for her or Yousef to slip up and say something that showed they weren't actually dating, but the whole night had gone by without any awkwardness. They've laughed with his relatives and danced and laughed. When Yousef's aunt asked how they got together, Sana smirked at Yousef and told the story of how he flirted by criticising her carrot peeling skills and the whole table laughed as he blushed. In the end, it's awful because it's not awful at all. It feels normal to be at this wedding with Yousef, and everyone seems to believe that they're actually dating. Sana even feels like she did in the spring, when she genuinely felt like she could go on to marry Yousef. But now she really doesn't know what to do. She rejected him for what she felt were the right reasons, but she's realizing that she was probably just scared to fully commit.

THURSDAY 21 DECEMBER: KOLLEKTIVET

Because Sana's turning 18, and this is going to mean a giant family affair, the girls plan a nice, chill party for her a few nights earlier, gathering the balloon squad, Jamilla, and Jonas and the boys in the Kollektiv for some food and celebrations. They tell Sana to come over for dinner, and maybe neglect to mention the fact that it's going to be a party. The look of joy on Sana's face when she comes in and sees Jamilla and Elias joking with Eskild and Isak, and Mutta flirting with Chris in a corner, is totally worth the secrecy. They've put on a vegetarian feast with only non-alcoholic drink options and a dessert table, with a Tupac cake as the main attraction, but they hide it in the fridge until they sing happy birthday.

As the party is winding down, Yousef walks over to Sana who is talking to Chris and Mutta, and asks to talk to her for a second. Sana hasn't really talked to Yousef since the wedding, apart from a few texts. They head outside, because there's nowhere else to get away from their curious friends. So, they're standing in the snow, and Yousef steels himself before he reaches into his jacket and pulls out a little box.

"Happy birthday," he says, looking nervous.

Sana opens the box and inside is the rose necklace she'd seen when they went shopping the other day. She looks up at him, brows furrowed. "Yousef, this is way too much."

He rolls his eyes. "It's really not. I wanted to get it for you. And I wanted to apologize for the whole wedding date thing.I- Honestly, I just jumped at the chance to spend more time with you. Because I think you're amazing, and extremely out of my league and I think you know by now that I can't flirt like a normal person when I'm around you. Still, I shouldn't have asked you to be my fake girlfriend when I want you to be my real girlfriend. That's not cool"

He looks over at Sana who's gaping at him, with slightly watery eyes which seems like a terrible sign. Sana swallows. "You shouldn't apologize. I- I think, even before, if you had asked me to be your girlfriend I would've said yes. I've been scared of our differences and what that means but my feelings haven't changed, Yousef. I do like you. Too much, probably."

Yousef kind of feels like crying himself but he looks away for a second instead, thinking and gathering his courage. "I never said anything, because it felt like a lot but. You really make me feel like I'm a strong, capable person. I never thought for a second that we would fight about our differences because we had deep conversations about islam from the beginning and I never felt judged."

Sana hums and takes a sip of her coffee. "I think I kind of got that, but maybe we just weren't ready. We're older and more mature now. At least I am." She smirks at him, then looks away. Yousef bursts out laughing, mostly because the relief he's feeling has him floating.

"But it's. Elias once asked me if it's better to have a guy who says he's muslim and believes in Allah or if it's better to have one that acts like a muslim, and I think the answer is pretty obvious."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Yousef can't help but grin and Sana grins back, the two of them stood on a street in the middle of Oslo in the freezing cold, snow swirling around them, just smiling at each other like idiots.

#yousanaexchange #stressedoutteenager #yousana #skam fic #izzy writes #please let there be no typos

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