Tell us more about Gene and Alexis! Gush to your heart's content!

Pom!! You're too sweet, really, letting me gush like this 🥺. Now that you asked me this, that reminded me that I have the next few panels of my comic done, and should be posting them either tonight or tomorrow! :D

I've already posted a bunch about it, but yes, I took on the feat of making a (sort of) long-form Bob's Burgers comic immediately after I finished my first shorter one. That was definitely inspired by @bluebirbbs and their lovely comic, which everyone should go read if they haven't already because it's fantastic.

I mentioned the comic because it's all about Gene and Alexis. Alexis is my OC who's around Gene's age. They moved to Seymour's Bay and started going to Wagstaff around the time the My Butt Has A Fever short happened and were incredibly nervous about meeting new people and having to adjust to living in a new, seaside town. They're kind of insecure and immediately thought people would find them awkward and not like them. Then, they saw Tina, Gene, and Louise performing that song, and all of their worries melted away. They somehow immediately realized that Gene was the one who wrote the song and was blown away. I headcanon that they couldn't stop gushing about it on the drive home with their parents and even beyond that.

Their parents are quite nice and have done a decent job raising Alexis, but they aren't exactly supportive of people in the LGBTQ+ community, which Alexis is definitely a part of. Alexis figured out around a year or so before the events of the comic that they're Nonbinary (and go by They/He pronouns), and also Androsexual. However, they generally just call themselves Gay because that's easier for people to understand. But, around their parents, they (sort of) pretend to be completely Cishet for fear of judgment or worse. Oh, and they were also born without a right foot (which they have a super realistic prosthetic for) and they have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. They generally only use a crutch for it, and sometimes, not even that. There are a few occasions when they have to use a wheelchair, but they hate using it because they like being more independent. They later confide this all to Gene, who actually thinks it's super cool, which is something they've never had anyone say about their disabilities before. I suppose this sort of parallels my Linda is deaf AU by having a person with a disability's partner be super sweet and supportive.

Anyway, Alexis is so captivated and moved by Gene's performance that they very quickly fall in love with Gene. They freak out for a bit but don't say anything, because they don't know who to ask for advice. Then they decide that the best course of action is to get their feelings for Gene outward anonymously. This poor soul mistakenly thought that by sending sweet anonymous notes to Gene their feelings would somehow disappear. Of course, that doesn't happen.

But, fortunately for them, Gene eventually begins gaining feelings for Alexis too. This is because once they start hanging out and becoming friends, Gene discovers that they have a lot in common, such as loving the same movies, foods, and fashion. Thrifting and making clothes is actually one of Alexis' hobbies, and Gene adores it. He can't get enough of seeing Alexis' clothes that they made themselves. Then they begin talking about how stupid they think masculine gender roles are, and Gene begins confiding in Alexis on how sometimes he wonders if he's being a boy wrong because he usually doesn't enjoy traditionally masculine things.

The two continue bonding and eventually go on a small ice cream date, a la Tina and Jimmy Jr.'s date to Fro-Yo Mama in What A (April) Fool Believes. I didn't realize the parallel at first when I decided this would happen, but now I'm completely obsessed with it.

I'm not sure yet, but it might be on this little ice cream date that these two finally confess their feelings for each other and start dating officially. However, Alexis is kind of terrified of dating Gene, just because of how their parents would react. So, they keep it a secret from their parents. Gene doesn't have to worry, though, because Bob and Linda are nothing except enthusiastic about it.

Surprisingly, Bob is actually super invested in their relationship, and gets kind of emotional, knowing that his little boy is growing up and falling in love 🥲 And is like "Soooooo, who is Alexis? 👀😏" just like when Gene started dating Courtney, and he was like "Soooooo, who is Courtney? 👀😏"

Oh yes, and this entire comic is supposed to take place during Valentine's Day, too, and Tina has a little thing throughout where she's really hoping for a Valentine from Jimmy Jr. I kind of want to resolve that later by having him give her something other than a Valentine, like a goofy little dance, as per Zeke's suggestion, which I thought would be pretty cute and would feed @drawthethingdoppelganger's Tinimmy loving soul accordingly 😌

Louise's thing throughout the comic isn't too deep, but I kind of like it too. She's just angry that Mr. Frond gave the three of them detention for their song at the talent show and wants to lace his coffee to get out of it, pffffft. She isn't thinking that much about Valentine's Day and is convinced that Rudy is just going to ignore her again in favor of Chloe Barbash, so she's kind of given up on the holiday. But then he maybe gives her a sweet note or something 🥺 She pretends not to care, but she really, really does. That gesture means a lot to her.

I actually haven't thought about a Boblin subplot that could happen, because I'm not sure if they'll be too prominent in the comic? But I'm sure they'll be adorable as always for Valentine's Day. I already had them mention that Bob's taking Linda out for a fancy dinner, so I might have them talk about how much fun they had, like the cute lil' ancient married muppets they are.

But I'm getting sidetracked from Gene and Alexis. Anyway, they fall in love with each other and slowly become the most wholesome couple in the universe, second to Bob and Linda. They do all the cliché couple things like hold hands, give each other lil' cheek/forehead kisses, and share milkshakes. Gene definitely becomes one of those stereotypical straight guys who are always like: My wife 🥰 except he's always like: My partner 🥰 and takes every moment possible to gush about Alexis. And vice versa.

@dianadeadwing also made a glorious essay about why she thinks Gene and Peter Pescadero would work so well, and I think all the points she brought up apply to Gene and Alexis--two people who seem really different but have the same values at their core. Gene is loud and energetic just like Linda on the outside, but is really sweet and insecure on the inside, caring so much about the things he's passionate about, like music and his family. He actually gets offended when people try to fight battles for him because he really wants to be seen as more capable, as seen in Drumforgiven.

Alexis seems pretty quiet and unassuming on the outside, because of how awkward and shy they can be at first, especially when moving to a new town, but when one gets to know them, they get really passionate about the things they love too, like fashion and glass blowing (yes, they like glass blowing, which is such a random hobby, but it somehow seems really fitting). They and Gene really bond over their love of obscure movies, fashion, and not being traditionally masculine. And just like Gene, they're insecure on the inside and want to be seen as more capable, not wanting other people to fight battles for them. They also have a secret sarcastic streak a mile wide, and their silver tongue reminds Gene of Louise a ton. They don't exactly have a penchant for getting into trouble, but definitely for getting into mischief on occasion. They also definitely have a secret hopeless romantic side, like Tina, but really try to hide it because they're afraid of being judged for it. Gene doesn't judge them, though, of course.

But really, this moment is what truly started it all for Alexis falling for Gene:

Also, I'm resharing this adorable Commission I got of them from @carnivaldemon because it's actually my everything now:

I could probably go on for even longer, but I'll stop here~

Also, I swear this wasn't intentional, but I realized that Alexis' design looks just like my boyfriend Michael--

Family Isn’t Blood (Fatherly! Jack Sparrow X Reader)

Request: Hello i have an requests for pirates of Caribbean. Can you do one when reader is lik 16 and have no parents and a crew in Jack sparrow ship and he is like a father fiquer to her and she isl like a daughter to him but she is always mean toward him and once jack got in troble and she tried very hard to save him and succes and he is like teasing her about it. Sorry if its to long and its ok if you dont like it

 A/N: Probably super out of character, but I kind of like how it turned out so.

Growing up had been rough. You’d never had a place to call your own, as far as you could remember. Your parents had died when you were young, leaving you to fend for yourself and you had been on your own ever since. There was no sympathy in the world for a poor orphan child like you. Every day was spent trying to earn your keep, never staying too long in one place.

Then you bumped into Jack Sparrow.

It had been a complete accident. You were working on some of the ships in the dock, struggling to carry something probably, when his ship pulled into the dock. Ships were always pulling into the dock, you didn’t even look up from your work until, of course, he was right beside you trying to get you to tell him where things were in your little village.

“Please, can’t you see I’m trying to work?” You asked, slightly annoyed as you tied what felt like your hundredth knot that day. He looked around, then back at you.

“You’re a little young to be working in any capacity,” he pointed out. He wasn’t wrong but you were tired and stressed after a lot of work that day.

You picked up a box from beside one of the ships. “I’m thirteen, work is all I have, sir. Now can you please leave and get drunk somewhere else? I’m working here.”

Something about you intrigued the pirate that day, though you had never figured out what exactly it was. Some of the crew speculated it was probably the fact you reminded him a lot of himself, out fending for yourself. The world was a dangerous place on your own, nobody knew that better than Captain Jack Sparrow. He offered you a place on his ship, work that you could do with ease and a place you could basically call your home.

Maybe it wasn’t a traditional home that stayed in one place, but you didn’t mind. You could see the world and never even have to leave the deck.

Of course, you would never admit that to him. Sure, he had shown you a great kindness by letting you stay on his ship, but you didn’t need his help. If he hadn’t come along, you would’ve been just fine on your own. Plus, he was a drunk and he was always getting into trouble. You’d never spoken so much as a kind word to him since you’d stepped foot on the deck of the Black Pearl. There was no need. He knew you were thankful, and you knew you didn’t need to say it.

But now you were at a crossroads. It had been three years since Jack had taken you under his wing, even though you wouldn’t exactly call it that. You were pacing the deck of the ship, every now and then looking up to shore and scowling slightly. He had promised he wouldn’t be long, but he hadn’t been back for hours.

There were few redeeming qualities about Jack Sparrow, but he was usually a man of his word, no matter how bizarre that word was. He wasn’t off somewhere getting drunk and losing track of time, there was definitely something wrong. But the crew didn’t seem to think so, which left you in an odd predicament.

You could go to shore and drag him back yourself or wait and potentially risk getting caught yourselves by whatever had your captain.

“Captains orders, he told us all to stay put.” Gibbs watched you as you walked around the ship, grabbing things you might need and got ready to head to shore.

“Yeah, well he’s not here, is he? You stay here, just in case he does come back, but I’m going up there to grab him myself.”

You didn’t say what was unspoken. Jack Sparrow was the closest thing to a father figure you’d ever had, even though he was far from being the best one. He’d taught you mostly everything you knew about being on the seas. This wasn’t just a rescue mission so you could get back to moving, this was a rescue mission to save what little family you had left. You couldn’t be on your own anymore, no matter how much you hated to admit that.

There was definitely something off as you slowly slunk your way through the little town you’d stopped by. Everything was quiet, which was typical for this hour, but it still felt eerie. You spent a lot of time wandering, not knowing where you were going. Where had that stupid pirate gotten himself stuck now? You pushed a door open to escape some guards walking your way and turned, realizing you’d entered some sort of jail. There were cells and they were all full. They didn’t even look up as you walked by, eying them uneasily and gripping onto your rucksacks strap tighter.

“… There has to be another way out of here.” You mumbled, but there was nothing as far as you could see besides cells. There were so many cells, though the number of people inside each was quickly diminishing. You wondered briefly if this was where you’d end up if found here.

“(Y/n)!” A familiar voice called, and you whipped around, studying the cells closely. There was nobody there. You turned around to keep going when you heard it again. “Oh, come on, (Y/n).”

“Who said that?” You pulled out a dagger from your sheath, it was the only weapon you’d been able to find on such notice on the decks of the Pearl. You held it out in front of you, walking slowly back the way you came. As you walked, slowly and cautiously, a hand darted out to grab your wrist.

“Not sure what yer hoping to do with that,” the voice chuckled, amused and you let out a yelp, dropping the dagger. You looked up, glaring at Jack Sparrow as he leaned casually against the bars of his cell, flashing you a winning smile.

You let out an annoyed noise, bending down to pick your dagger up. “That’s not funny, Sparrow,” you snapped, tucking the dagger away.

“Not even a little?” He asked, grinning. You tried not to let your anger get the better of you. You were here to rescue him not kill him, though that was getting harder by the second.

Immediately, you bent down to get a good look at the lock that was holding him in his cell, ignoring any comments he made about enjoying his time in the cell. There had been a time where you had needed to know locks and how to pick them, it was the only you could get food. Though you were out of practice, you could still remember what you needed to do.

Reaching into your pocket for something to pick the lock, you found what you needed and set to work. He was quiet now; you could feel his eyes watching you as you worked on the lock. Even with his stare, you didn’t falter. You couldn’t falter. This was depending on you and you were going to give it your all.

The lock let out a click and you grabbed it, throwing it to the side. Pulling on the bars, they came open with ease and you tucked away your lockpick for future use, grateful that you’d still remembered how to use it. You gestured with your arms grandiosely, letting him know he could walk forward and join you.

He did, swaying slightly and you knew he was drunk. You didn’t say anything, but you grabbed him by the arm and pulled him the way you’d come, three years on the sea had made you slightly stronger than you’d been before. There was no place for weak, scrawny people on the Black Pearl.

“Ye came back for me,” he smirked, looking at you slyly from the corner of his eye. You scoffed and shook your head.

“The crew was worried. I was tired of hearing them whine so I’m doing something about it.”

“That’s not the only reason ye’re here, admit it.”

You could smell the alcohol on his breath and wrinkled your nose, but he was right. You paused. He stood there swaying and you stared ahead, at the door that would lead you back out into the little town. You felt tears threatening to fall, since when had you been about to cry?

You were only a kid, you reminded yourself, a kid forced to grow up way too soon.

“Fine, alright. I care, is that what you want to hear?” You asked, wiping your eyes before the tears fall, not wanting them to leave tear tracks. “You and the crew are the closest things I have to a family and I can’t lose another family. So just. Get your shit together.”

You grabbed his arm again and kept dragging him. No more words were exchanged the rest of the way back to the ship. He set sail immediately and you sat on the edge, looking down into the water. Somedays, when you weren’t feeling great, you’d contemplate jumping in and joining your parents. You don’t know why you never did.

“They’d be proud of you.” It was as if he could read your thoughts, he leaned against the ship’s edge beside you. You laughed bitterly.

“How would you know?”

There was a moment of silence, which made you inwardly snort. Of course, he was just saying that to make you feel better. He didn’t actually believe it.

“Because I know you and if they’re anything like ye, then they would be proud of who ye’d become. Also, because I’m proud of ye. Ye didn’t have to come back and save me, ya know?” He took a swig from the bottle of what you could only assume was rum. You felt your face heat up.

He wasn’t your parents and he could never replace them, what you’d lost was the chance of a normal life. The chance to grow up with love and support, to actually experience the joy of being a child. But, as he stepped away from the side of the ship, heading back to the steering wheel that Gibbs was managing in his stead, you had to admit to yourself; there were far worse ways to spend the rest of your days than by Jack Sparrow’s side.

Oh, Shit,I Just Remembered Pete Wisdom.

I started looking into Warren Ellis a little more, to see what he accusations against him were, exactly.   So much has come out about so many people that it’s hard to keep it all straight, but I’ve been a comics fan since 1993, and Ellis has been in the industry for about as long, I think, so I wanted to know more.  

The quick version, from what I can tell, is that Ellis would offer to mentor fans who wanted to break into the comics industry, and with the women, he would start to segue that relationship into something more physical.   It would get to the point where he’d want to have sex with them, and they felt like they couldn’t refuse him, since he could torpedo their careers before they could get off the ground.   A few women must have spoken out about it, leading others to do the same, and eventually it started to become clear that there was a lot of similarities in their stories.   

As I was thinking about this, it suddenly dawned on me that I first heard of Ellis from his work on Marvel Comics’ Excalibur, where he introduced Kitty Pryde’s love interest, Pete Wisdom.    And then a bunch of stuff started to make a lot more sense in hindsight.  

The X-Men franchise is overrated trash, but probably the wankiest, most usless, most overrated part of the X-Men mythos is the spin-off series Excalibur, which was basically a splinter group of X-Men operating in Great Britain.   Fans loved this book, I think because it featured popular characters like Kitty Pryde and Nightcrawler, and the book (mostly) managed to steer clear of the mega-crossovers that dominated the rest of the franchise in the 80′s and 90′s.  When I finally sat down to read my X-Men collection in 2015 and 2018, I did so confident that I wouldn’t need to bother with Excalibur, because it rarely had anything to do with the main books.   The message Marvel sent me with this book was that it doesn’t matter and it never did.

Anyway, around 1995 or so, Warren Ellis took over as the writer, and he introduced a new character named Pete Wisdom, who quickly became romantically involved with Kitty Pryde.   This was somewhat controversial for a few reasons:

1) When Kitty was introduced in 1980, she was stated to be only 13 years old.    “Thirteen-and-a-half”, to be precise.    They actually threw in the fraction, just to make her seem even more like a little kid, if that was possible.    Comic book time moves slower than real time, but it wasn’t entirely clear to anyone how old Kitty was by the time she relocated to England and met Pete.   Later stories by other writers would attempt to set Kitty’s age as being 16 or 18, which makes Kitty’s relationship with Pete a continuity error at best. 

2) In spite of Kitty being very young, people had been shipping her with Colossus for years, and it annoyed them that there was yet another obstacle for their extremely problematic-but-much-desired relationship.   

3) People accused Pete Wisdom of being a Mary Sue, since he seemed to just pop in out of nowhere and work himself into the team, win the heart of the most popular female character, and he’s supposed to be this super cool secret agent type.  The implication here was that Ellis only invented Pete as a self-insert OC for the purpose of getting it on with Kitty Pryde.  

I think there were two schools of thought on how Kitty was supposed to be portrayed in comics.   The first was that Chris Claremont had insisted on keeping her eternally 16 or whatever, this plucky kid prodigy who was always too young to get into these kinds of relationships.    Ellis’s supporters felt that this was too restrictive, and it was foolish of Claremont to think that other writers would be beholden to his wishes, especially after he left Marvel Comics in 1991.  Ellis seemed to be allowing Kitty to grow and mature as a character, and it didn’t matter if it messed around with “comic book time”, since no one knows how that works exactly anyway. 

For my part, I always thought Pete Wisdom was a fucking tool of a character.    He was yet another government spook riding on the popularity of “The X-Files”.    Plus, the conventional wisdom among comics nerds in the 90′s was that U.K. writers were better somehow, just because they liked to write snarky dialogue and deconstruct the superhero genre.   Pete Wisdom was a mutant, and he joined the Excalibur team, but he wasn’t gonna wear any poncy tights, innit?   No, he went into action with a suit and tie, smoking cigarettes and constantly drinking shots, because that’s more bloody realistic, mate.   Ellis gave him an eyepatch in 2001, because of course he did.

The point I want to make here is that Ellis came up with this big idea in the 90′s, and fans ate it up because they were X-Men fans and had no taste.   You have to understand that in the 90′s, the big overused cliche was giant guns.   The second biggest cliche was nostalgia references to the 1960′s.   So when someone trotted out “Fox Mulder, but he’s sarcastic and British”, people actually thought it was kind of fresh by comparison.  Surely this bold new concept could only take Kitty Pryde into amazing new directions...

But no, Excalibur got cancelled in 1998, and they moved Kitty back to the X-Men.  Did they even break up Pryde and Wisdom on panel?  I have no idea.   All I know is I read a bunch of her post-Excalibur appearances and she barely mentions the guy, probably because a lot of people in Marvel probably wanted to forget the time she got aged up just enough to sleep with a skeevy-looking older man.  

Looking back on it, I always sort of assumed that Ellis only did the Pete/Kitty thing because he was just looking for something interesting to do with the characters, and he wasn’t going to let tradition or continuity stand in the way.   But in 2020, the whole thing starts to feel more autobiographical, since this resembles the sort of thing he was doing with young women through his online community.   Ellis’ “apology” states that he didn’t notice the power imbalance when he was involved with these women.   “I have never considered myself famous or powerful.”   I find this insulting to my intelligence, since I used to see fans worship every stroke of his pen like he was some kind of genius.   News would come out that Warren Ellis would be taking over the writing duties of a book, and fans would say “Good, they finally fixed it.” They just trusted him to do right by whatever project he was given.    So I can only imagine how overwhelmed they might have felt when they signed up for his mailing list fan club thing and he would offer to help some of them become professional writers.  

So maybe the critics had Pete Wisdom figured out from the beginning.   Whether Ellis realized it or not, Pete was his power fantasy, an older guy just impressive enough to get the attention of a (very) young woman and take her under his wing.   And he teaches her how to drink whiskey and smoke and how to know all this black ops horseshit, and-- well whaddya know?-- they’re having the sex.   

And to a point, maybe that’s human nature.   I always wanted to be a writer because I liked the feeling of power it offered.   Imagine being the guy who could put words in Captain Picard’s mouth, or decide exactly what kind of music Superman likes.  And yeah, if I could make a name for myself in that kind of field, maybe the ladies would start to notice me, and then I’d be doing pretty well for myself.  

The thing is, I eventually learned that writing for comics is a real bullshit thing to get into.   You can’t just submit scripts, and there’s no set of steps to follow.   I remember reading stories of writers breaking into the comics industry, and they were all different, usually involving some improbable meeting with someone who was already there.  A comics writer I respect once wrote that it takes some creativity to figure out how to break in, and if you can’t find your own way, then maybe you’re not creative enough to be in the business in the first place.  

And that’s how these women got pulled into Ellis’s nonsense, I assume.    They had similar aspirations to my own, and at first he seemed to be offering them a lifeline, but then it led to something they hadn’t bargained for, and what could they do?   If they refused to have sex with him, they might have to start from scratch.   

Which sort of confirms my suspicions that writing for comics is just a bullshit job, because maybe it’s only hard to get into because of all the gatekeeping that goes on.    Why bother accepting submissions and hiring based on merit, when a handful of writers can just vouch for friends or fans willing to do anything they ask?   All I know is it’s relatively straightforward to get a job in chemistry.   I got a degree in chemistry, and then I sent out some applications, went to some interviews and they offered me a job.    Maybe if Marvel worked the same way, guys like Warren Ellis wouldn’t have the sort of unfair influence they have over their fans. 

Hey sweetie. I was wondering if I can have a matchup (if you're still doing them)? I have long reddish-black hair with brown eyes. I’m 5'2" and sorta chubby. I love history, reading, writing, animals, and cooking (anyone who dates me gets lots of good food). I’m also the definition of tiny but fighty, but instead of fighting with my fists I use my words. I have a bunch of useless facts roaming around in my head (seriously I’m like a human google, it’s great.) (1/3)

"I also have this rad Bale Batman impression that I sometimes to do break tension, and I have so much knowledge on superheroes, especially Batman. (I can tell you Batman’s diet I am that committed to the Bat.) I’m pretty positive but I do have a tendency to poke holes in book plots and such and ruin them for myself. I also have been described as an old soul. I’m also so sarcastic but most of my comments are kept to myself because my mom taught me not to be rude. (2/3)I can also be blunt when the situation calls for it. I’m an INFP and my Hogwarts house is Slytherin. I’m also the oldest of three girls, so when needed I can mom people. I also have a major sweet tooth and can be lazy when the mood strikes. hopefully this is enough! ooh also I don't have a preference for male or female in the match up (3/3)"Hi! Matchups will be open as long as the ask box is! 💕I ship you with... Japan (Kiku Honda)!!- He literally doesn't mind chub. Alfred is a bit chub, and he loves him just the way he is (no homo). - He'll explain the history of Japan without that dumb video (people tease him a lot about it, so he tends to steer away from that video)- Reading (manga) is one of his favourire past times- He also enjoys writing fiction. Fanfiction. - Will also proofread your writings. If it's fictional, he'll help you come up with plot ideas! He's a Ravenclaw, and they're very imaginative and original. - He much prefers it when people don't fight physically. He understand thay people who fight with their words can say something that they'll deeply regret; he's guilty of doing this. He enjoys an intelligent conversation, though, despite being quiet. - He has a lot of random facts, too, believe it or not! He's just not a "walking Google". Despite liking intelligent conversations, he also finds some humour in dumb little facts. - He's used to Alfred's rambling on superheroes (mainly Captain America) so he won't be remotely annoyed with your ramblings. He'll actually find it quite cute!- He is (quite literally, in country!AU) an old soul himself. - He totally hasn't ruined books for himself- (He has)- (And he cried)- He's also super polite, even when he disagrees with something. He'll express his opinions in a calm manner, though. - With you, a Slytherin, and Kiku, a Ravenclaw, there is nothing you can't do when you're in trouble. - He will appreicate your motherly concerns, but assure you he'll be okay- He'll take care of you if the lazy mood strikes