jason todd is so buffy summers coded in that they both died heroes, then were resurrected against their wills because the narrative can never let them rest in peace, and they will keep acting as heroes and won't let themselves rest in life either.

@imkait tagged me 2 do this thing // tagging @halsteadss, @brendaswalshes, @tilyoutryit, @ the void, @fatherjerusalem

last text sent: “thriving” to my mom. b4 that it was a question mark to my bff  list three favourite colours: um grey. light pink. and uh purple sure what time did you wake up today?: 9:50am what were you doing last night at midnight?: u know my ass was awake name something you can’t wait for: being rich when was the last time you saw your mother: five minutes ago when i walked down the hallway one thing you wish you could change about your life: let me be rich & thin what’s getting on your nerves right now?: myself  favourite tv shows: six feet under, btvs, malcolm in the middle, vmars, etc. first best friend: her name was olivia & she had curly brown hair i think listening to right now: nothing but i listened to a whole album earlier (the tkol rmx which is obviously remixes of radiohead’s album the king of limbs)  3 fears: heights, seeing ppl i know, That Bug 4 turn ons: being left alone, being handed money 4 turn offs: you probably  sexual orientation: demisexual maybe  senior quote in your yearbook: i don’t want to talk abt it it’s not a bad quote in the show but it isn’t me i just panicked and picked smth i’m mad first thing you notice in a new person: n/a  shoe size: technically 6.5 but i usually wear 7s eye colour: hazel hair colour: brown favourite item of clothing: leggings, sweaters that cover my hands what colour underwear you’re wearing rn: uhhh purple w grey and white? maybe  ultimate bias: who ultimate bias group: see above favourite season: fall!!!!  how much time did you spend designing your blog: too much probably the reason you joined tumblr: i used to stalk my sisters & she made me get my own do you ever get ‘good morning’ or ‘good night’ texts?: yikes when did you last hold hands: probably when drunk  how long does it take you to get ready in the morning?: get ready 4 what have you shaved your legs in the past three days?: lol where are you right now?: at the dining room table do you like music loud or at a reasonable level?: ?  3 things you love: cats, crying abt logan/lilly, radiohead  how you feel right now: I’M SO FUCKING TIRED something you really really want: money!!! / a job / a plane ticket 3 things that upset you: i’m always one second away from murder what do you find attractive in other people?: collarbones, thighs, whatever 3 habits you have: bad habits or like  something you fantasize about: yikes x2 something you’re talented at: uhhh i can name every ep of buffy so  the blog you give the most notes to: how would i know this the last person that reblogged something from you: @fatherjerusalem do you smoke/drink: yes but i drink more than i smoke bc cigarettes make my teeth feel terrible your favourite food: everything your favourite dessert: all of it what you did yesterday: watched a lot of the oc, procrastinated  number of kids you want: 3 minimum  number of siblings you have: one something that’s constantly on your mind: radiohead last person you messaged on tumblr: my sister can you drive?: no what state or part of the world do you live in?: save me are you in school?: don’t!!!!! remind!!! me!!! do you get grossed out easily?: not really idk?  somewhere you would like to visit for a week: if by a week u mean a month...my girl kait....in canada I’ll love you if …: u send me make me choose stuff / reblog my lilly kane edits last show you binge-watched?: currently bingeing the oc what words upset you the most: racial slurs bc why do ppl  what words make you feel the best about yourself: “jennie u are now the rightful owner of the lillykane url”  a wish that you’ve wished for repeatedly on 11:11: i don’t  who would you switch lives with for a day?: someone with money so i could go shopping your favourite ice cream: coffee allergies: not severely to anything that i know of but grass makes me so itchy sexiest person to come your mind immediately: i’m thinking about angelina jolie but  your childhood career choice: i wanted to be a massage therapist while my writing career took off. or a female director bc it pissed me off it was (is) so male dominated  one of your insecurities: my whole body  how many blogs are you following?: 238  how many tabs/windows do you have open right now?: 17. death is coming coke or pepsi: PEPSI KAIT IS WRONG tea or coffee: iced coffee  movie or book: book a sense you would be willing to lose: fuck u this is some ableist shit quote you live by: live laugh love :)  type of accessory you wear most: earrings last awkward situation you found yourself in: yesterday at target when i ran into my abusive(?) ex(?) boyfriend(?)’s ex-girlfriend who hated me. we hugged and she told me she was high. it was...an experience what time is it right now?: 8:08pm a song that’s made you cry: most recently it was “the i love you song” from the musical, spelling bee #2relatable first song you ever sang at karaoke: smth from guitar hero lmao

tagged by @bisexualpattytolan in a ton of stuff so here is Too Much Information about me

Rules: tag 9 people you want to know better

How old are you? 26

What’s your current job? pharmacy technician

What are you talented at? crocheting, photoshop, dancing

What is a big goal you are working toward (or have already achieved)? i am working on getting ready to move to new york city sometime this year. it’s been a long time goal of mine. can’t wait to finally be Home, ya know?

What’s your aesthetic? stumbling your way through a messy room to get to a perfectly organized bookshelf, a desk full of empty teacups, odd numbers, the ugliest item of clothing on the rack, walking fast on a city street, mustard yellow pea coats, high-waisted jeans and leg warmers, handmade hats and store-bought scarves, like if a kate spade bag were a person...only messy

Do you collect anything? i guess playbills?

What’s a topic you always talk about? pretty little liars, broadway, feminism, ghostbusters, astrology

What’s a pet peeve of yours? people who just spit on the ground for no reason ew please stop ALSO OKAY SERIOUSLY smokers who are smoking until the literal last second before they walk in the door and then they exhale that final puff of smoke right into the room like excuse me my buddy my guy let me tell you about the main fucking reason you have to smoke outside it’s bc people are trying to breathe clean air in here my man

Good advice to give? guilty pleasures are bullshit if you like a thing just like it literally no one cares

What are three songs you’d recommend? find me - sigma feat. birdy, flux and flow - lights, she’s out of her mind - blink 182

Rules: Copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people and also tag the person who tagged you… and most importantly, have fun!

a - age: 26 b - biggest fear: sharks c - current time: 10:11pm d - drink you last had: iced tea e - every day starts with: ghostbusters theme song alarm f - favorite song: whyyawannabringmedown - kelly clarkson g - ghosts, are they real: too much eerie shit has been reported for me to not think they are h - hometown: philadelphia i - in love with: not a damn person j - jealous of: people with great skin and practically hairless bodies k - killed someone: not that i can recall l - last time you cried: randomly yesterday while i was listening to defying gravity idk why fam i was going through it m - middle name: don’t have one n - number of siblings: one o - one wish: to be free of student loan debt p - person you last called/texted: my friend gibby. she wanted to ask if i thought she had a chance of ever dating kristen stewart. q - questions you’re always asked: how do you spell your name? you mean you never want to have kids? are you going to [event] BY YOURSELF? r - reasons to smile: when they play kelly clarkson on the radio, when your friends say things that reaffirm how much you love them and how proud you are of them as people in general but also for the open-minded brilliant caring feminist girl gang they’ve become, cute fanfictions, discount broadway tickets s - song last sang: candy store - heathers t - time you woke up: 7:27am u - underwear color: like a coral/peach color v - vacation destination: usually wildwood, nj w - worst habit: procrastination. or dermatillomania (not sure if i can consider that a “habit”) x - x-rays you’ve had: got a cervical spine xray and a chest xray y - your favorite food: mushrooms z - zodiac sign: leo

Survey

★ Nickname: neen, jay, my dad calls me deedee

★ Star sign: leo

★ Height: 5′0″ish

★ Time right now: 11:31pm

★ Favorite music artist(s): kelly clarkson, evanescence, sara bareilles, halsey, icon for hire

★ Last movie I watched: fast five

★ Last TV show watched: fringe

★ What are you wearing right now?: gray pajama pants, black kathy’s school of dance tshirt (shoutout)

★ When did you make your blog?: 2009???

★ What kind of stuff do you post: almost entirely fandom-related things, ghostbusters, kristen stewart, pretty little liars, teen wolf, ace text posts

★ Do you have any other blogs?: i used to have a bunch but i’ve gotten rid of them i am a very lazy blog owner

★ Do you get asks regularly?: not really

★ Why did you choose your URL?: because paige mccullers is literally everything to me. every single thing.

★ Gender: female

★ Hogwarts house: ravenclaw

★ Pokemon team: instinct

★ Favorite color: yellow

★ Average hours of sleep: max is 8, but lbr it’s usually more like 5

★ Lucky numbers: 7, 13, 713

★ Favorite characters: paige mccullers, meg masters, alice cullen, mickey milkovich, malia tate

★ How many blankets do you sleep with?: usually 2 throw blankets

★ Dream job: ugh i have such a hard time answering this question, i can be happy doing anything if the situation is right

10 characters, 10 fandoms

paige mccullers, pretty little liars

meg masters, supernatural

erica reyes, teen wolf

faith lehane, btvs

mickey milkovich, shameless

patty tolan, ghostbusters

alice cullen, twilight

elphaba thropp, wicked

emily gilmore, gilmore girls

logan echolls, veronica mars

tagged by @imjadedbutohsolovely for this last one! :)

rules: list 10 good things that happened in 2016 and then tag 10 friends

1. ghostbusters existed and it was wonderful and i love the toltzmann fandom

2. saw halsey in concert at madison square garden on my birthday

3. flew to chicago to see my best friend

4. flew to vegas for a work trip but also had so much fun and finally met @sex-hair-clarkson

5. figured out and accepted my (a)sexuality and let me tell you fam i feel fucking fantastic about it like...not knowing was so exhausting

6. got my first tattoo

7. finally got netflix

8. saw evanescence in concert for the first time amy is so amazing live i have been dreaming about seeing her since i was like 12 and it was perfect

9. paige mccullers came back to pretty little liars and i connected with a bunch of people over it and those people saved me and my mental health (i was not okay i was basically not eating bc i was so stressed) i would not have made it through the season or this upcoming season without them

10. the election was a clusterfuck but i got to vote for a woman to be president of the united fucking states and it was a fucking MOMENT and no one will take that from me

Welcome to the Hellmouth: Subverting Expectations

Season 1, Episode 1: Welcome to the Hellmouth. These are most likely going to be long form stream of consciousness posts. Watch the episodes and follow along with my rambling thoughts. (It’s on Netflix!)

Subverting expectations is the name of the game right out of the gate. It seems to me that the BtVS team wanted to shatter any preconceived notions on multiple fronts. This show came out in the era of 90210, and Dawson's Creek, right smack in the middle of the WB teen drama boom of the late 90s. BtVS needed to stand out from the watery gruel of its contemporaries, without falling into a niche of campy Goosebumps-esque fare. Welcome to the Hellmouth seems to have been set up to do just that.

The opening scene of this show is brilliant. The spooky shots of the school that will be the primary setting, two kids breaking in, a timid schoolgirl and an obvious badboy. The show tells us immediately that things aren't going to go the way you think when the girl vamps out and eats the guy. Darla’s a fascinating character, and I’ll touch on her more later.

The opening organ notes of the theme song always give me chills.  Nerf Herder doesn’t get nearly enough credit.

The first shot we see of Buffy she’s lying in bed having nightmares. We get a ton of shots of some of the monsters Buffy will fight over the course of the season, which I kind of like. It’s a treat for people who really pay attention. Or for hopeless obsessives that have seen it 50 times. They kind of drop the whole Slyer prophecies thing as the show goes on, and I have mixed feeling on that. It’s a little clichéd, but there was a sense of macabre whimsy to it as well, especially when we get to some of the more abstract stuff later on.

When we get our first shots of Sunnydale High in the daytime, we're lulled back into thinking we know what's going on. We meet the gang, Xander the roguish dork (I can't believe he rides a skateboard), Willow the meek nerdy girl, and Jesse who is also there.

BtVS suffers a bit from late 90's fasion, which makes it feel a bit dated, but it's a pretty minor problem overall. It's more of an issue in early season 1 as the show gets its feet under it from a visual perspective. But oh man, Willow's checker dress and backpack.

In Buffy's meeting with Principle Flutie we get one of our few references to the Buffy Movie. Retconned so that instead of getting on a motorcycle and riding off with Luke Perry she just burned the motherfucker down. Not something you'd expect from a tiny cute blonde, (Flutie certainly doesn't seem to expect it) Seeing Buffy in class is weird. For a show set in a high school, relatively little education seems to happen. We meet Cordelia here too, in manner which suggests that she's going to be Buffy's new bff, (the little quiz Cordy gives Buffy dates the show a bit too. Hard to remember that James Spader was once a teen heartthrob) but almost immediately we see her viscous side when she snaps at Willow for using a water fountain that Cordelia doesn't even seem to want to use. Not all that glitters is gold.

Next we get to meet Giles. Anthony Stewart Head is far and away the best actor on this show. He acts with his whole body. You can see the shift from rigid indifference to near giddy excitement when he pull out that Vampyr book. (One of my favourite props. I love that thing). Again we're subverting expectations, of the characters as well as the audience. Buffy goes in to get a text book and is confronted with a tome of monster lore that seems to frighten her. It's great stuff. There aren't many scenes of students that aren't the core gang, unless something horrible is about to happen.  Dead body on campus count: 1

The first scene with the core three (Buffy, Willow, and Xander) Cordelia, and Jesse, establishes so much of the early dynamic, it's really great to watch. I'll talk more about Jesse when I watch the Harvest, but his existence is another massive subversion. Here he's set up as a foil for both Xander and Cordelia, but the writers had something else in mind. Jesse is one of my favourite things about season 1.

Giles' exposition scenes are a core component of the series, especially early on. With the wrong delivery these scenes could be dry as dust, but Head makes each of them a joy to watch. There's an urgency and passion that makes you lean forward and really listen to what he's trying to tell you, even if Buffy doesn't. This one five minute scene lays out the whole premise of the show and you barely notice it happening. We learn how vampires turn people, what a Slayer is, what a Watcher is, that Sunnydale is monster central, that Giles is a huge dork, and that some mystical badness is gonna happen soon. Buffy tempts fate big time at the end of this scene. It's a bit cliched, but it sets up some great jokes way down the line. Buffy's mother, Joyce, is another unappreciated character. Depicting a single mother in the 90s was a bold move, and she pulls it off well. Just the right mix of trying to let her daughter have freedom while still indulging her helicopter mom instincts. The early BtVS villains don't get nearly enough love. Partly because there was half as much time to establish them as the later villains (season 1 was only 12 episodes), and artly because they get overshadowed by the more wacky season 1 baddies like Mantis Lady and Internet Demon. But Luke, the Master, Darla, they're all great.

Angel's introduction is just the right combination of intriguing and creepy. Introducing him as a cryptic informant, and showing that Buffy can physically overpower him immediatly quashes the idea that he'll need to come to her rescue lays so much groundwork for Angel's development and for their relationship. I love the cross necklace. Jewlery gets used a lot in BtVS for symbolism. That little cross holds so much emotional power as time goes on. Ahh the Bronze. So much happens in that little dingy club. Mostly murders. Lots and lots of murders. The scene in the Bronze pulls a huge amount of weight for character development. We get to see that Buffy is a dork, who really wants to have something normal. We see Willow eating raisins at a club, and find out about her conflicted Xander feelings. We learn what Giles considers partying (this was a year and a half before Google, how did American kids find out what the hell Bovril was?). We get Jesse seemingly stop pining after a chick who hates him, (much to his personal detriment), and we get to see Buffy's place in the social order cemented when she nearly stakes Cordelia. When we get to the graveyard, we have our first proper fight of the series, and we get to see Buffy in her element. The entire episode we see her timidly talking to teachers and students and her Mum, and even herself, trying to figure out what she's supposed to do and where she fits in. Here we see her immediately confident, her posture changes, she starts being snarky. This is where she belongs. In the fight. But again, this episode is about subversion. So halfway through the fight a bigger badder badguy shows up and she starts getting wrecked. This badass superchick can also be threatened. She isn't the strongest thing out there. Pilots are supposed to show both what the show is, and what it has the potential to become, and Welcome to the Hellmouth knocks it out of the park. It's not the greatest Buffy episode, not by a longshot, but it builds an unshakable foundation. Right away we know that this isn't just another teen drama. It's not just another vampire show. This is going to be something else entirely.

Favourite Quote: Willow: Well... when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty. Or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.