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angelicichor · 4 years

Note

Hello happy 2020! How are ya? Can I request some Nsfw Thomas Hewitt content? I love him so much, ❤

I’m kinda okay, just very disorganized lately, too nervous about school stuff and all ♥ But always willing to write for big boi Tommy uwu

N//SF//W

MISSED YA

♥ It has been a goddamn week.

♥ A week with both you and Thomas running errands, his staying at home and yours?

♥ Well, you’ve been forced to stay in the middle of the road for GOD knows how long, trying to catch somebody’s, ANYBODY’S attention to bring them back home for dinner, but you were pretty sure that Hoyt just wanted you to wither and die out there, leaving you with only one big water bottle for the whole day, standing in the hot Texas sun, the sunscreen barely helping your skin not turn into bacon strips as you awaited another group of people to pass you, only to fool them into getting you home.

♥ And the sense that Hoyt could easily pull them over for no reason instead of you standing here, alone, didn’t help.

♥ It also didn’t help that you’ve been standing here, hungry, thirsty, sweating and bored out of your mind, your mind able to go only to a few places before coming back to Thomas, his adorable, expressive eyes, his strong, rough hands, his broad shoulders shifting underneath that shirt he always wore, though in this heat sometimes he’d bless the world with taking it off, revealing his beautiful chest and that monstrous bicep and… that brought you to your last problem.

♥ Being too horny for your own good.

♥ And there being no big-ass thick butcher man to fuck you into the ground.

♥ And yes, that was A HUGE PROBLEM.

♥ Your whole body was being too needy, only adding to your agitation and the need to choke Hoyt’s lights out for making you do this, but you couldn’t do anything about this, the family needed to eat.

♥ You sighed at the sky, eyes watching the moving sun and you guessed it was around 4 o’clock, the old bastard was bound to come for you any time now and maybe finally, FINALLY you could rest.

♥ But your prayer was thrown in the gutter as the loud bass of a guitar rolled towards you, cutting the otherwise quiet ambiance of the drylands you’ve been forced to stay in. Your eyes did their best to tell what was coming, the waves of heat not helping your focus, your vision literally melting, but you could tell what it was just by it’s size, a big ol’ black jeep, full of teens in nothing but tank tops and t-shirts, rocking along in the vehicle to some loud music. Rock n’ roll, you could tell that much, but couldn’t tell what band, a shame, but maybe Hoyt would let you keep their discs with you after they’re fresh meat.

♥ Putting on your sweetest smile you started waving at them and noticed one girl pointing towards you, excited, it seemed, and sure enough once they stopped she was the first to run to you, a tall, dark skinned brunette, beautiful and just shining in this weather, it was really such a shame. “Hiya, babe! Whacha doing here lil’ thing?” She asked you, clearly enjoying some new company and eager to hear your story, and you weren’t gonna disappoint.

♥ “Ah, I live here, sweetie. Well not HERE, ya know, but in these here regions, but my dumbass of a daddy left my ass here so he could go grab some smokes from the city, while I wait here to faint in this damn heat and not tell ma’.” You scoffed and she gave you a long moan of worry, ruffling your hair. “Ah, baby, we’ll get ya home, don’tcha worry!” she cooed, before turning to the group of boy promptly starring at her ass. “Right, y’all?” she asked and they roared in confirmation.

♥ It was really a shame for those guys, but as you walked out towards the porch, catching the glimpse of Thomas’ hair in the window, all the guilt faded to the second plan. Trying to hide the haste in your voice you invited the 5 people inside, for dinner, something cold to drink and so the girl, Hannah, as you’ve learned, could scold your “papa”, something you were willing to see for sure, especially after crying to “mama” that “pa” had left you on the road to get smokes and Luda Mae slammed a tray of full glasses of water onto the table, shaking her head in disbelief, playing around with you. She did that rarely, but if it meant Hoyt getting an earful from a victim for no reason before they’re meat, then she’d be more into the idea. You both somehow loved Hoyt, but God, was he an asshole.

♥ There were no problems with the group, except for the boys getting rowdy with the tools in the shed, but Hanna told you she got them under control, you doubted that, but that let you slid into the basement, the chill of the room sending pleasant shivers down your spine, as did the rhythmic thuds of a cleaver cutting a block of meat clean off, once, again, and on repeat, as you leaned onto a wall, away from the pool of bloodied water right in front of the stairs, starring unashamedly at your dearly beloved’s arm tensing as he lifted the knife, only to lower it with enough power to create a small draft, making the metal tools above the bench clack against each other.

♥ ‘What a beast…’ you thought, a small smirk creeping onto your face, warning the world that you were up to no good.

♥ With another huff the cleaver stopped, getting locked into the wood and you saw his huge body shifting, slowly, cautiously, one brow cocking up at the sight of you, questioning why were you standing there like he didn’t notice you.

♥ His gaze made you shrink back, like a scolded child, but soon enough that deviousness took over, making you shuffle towards him, gently, shyly, coy, and straight away he knew - dangerous, but he stayed still, letting you have your fun. He could always tie you in the corner if things got too wild. He had work to do after all.

♥ With a tiny giggle you closed the distance, running your hand against the width of his covered back, before ducking to escape his grasp, instead jumping before him, your grabby hands clinging onto his apron in a light embrace, unable to circle him fully, joyful eyes focused on his expression, as his head bent slightly down, eyes squinting and brows furrowing with interest, the smirk on his lisp barely visible through the dark leather, asking - What are you doing?

♥ Your cheek nuzzled into his chest, eyes closing, with a happiness painting your face, comfort and he was about to hug you, realizing that you missed him.

♥ But you ducked again, leaving his hands to hang in the air, his head going even lower, air inflating his chest to flow out a second later in a longer, slightly frustrated breath. He had work, (Y/N).

♥ Your smug smile didn’t help his frustration. His hands rested on the workbench, gaze focused on you, watching you giggle and hide under his apron, confusing him completely.

♥ That is, until he felt your hand creep it’s way up from his tights to crotch, squeezing ever so lightly. Oh. OH.

♥ Thomas allowed his shoulders to relax, a warm chuckle rumbling through his body, his eyes closing to better feel your touch, feeling the lingering ghost of your fingers undoing his belt, listening to the small clack of the buckle, the small creak of pulled leather, then the clicking of the zipper coming undone in a slow motion, a deep breath moving through his lungs and out in a huff.

♥ He shuddered, feeling your breath on his boxers, your soft lips pressing onto his hardening length, welcoming it after a long time, trailing up, kiss by kiss, till it reached the tip, pressing a bit harder, a devious chuckle sounding underneath the man as he started breathing just a bit heavier, feeling his underwear becoming more and more uncomfortable.

♥ You let one of your hands slide under his balls, stroking them lightly, while your other worked him up and down, letting you feel his member’s growth and Thomas’ growl above you let you know that he was getting impatient with your teasing. It was a good thing he couldn’t see your eye roll or vicious grin, you’d certainly get in trouble for that.

♥ Deciding it was unwise to test him any further you pulled his boxers down, just enough to free his raging cock, already leaking some pre-cum. It was nice to know he missed you too.

♥ Your tongue trailed a long, slow line from his sack up to the tip, enveloping it with your soft lips and licking it gently, slowly making your way up and down, not taking him fully, while both of your hands trailed the muscle of his tights, firm and thick. The groan above you letting you know that he enjoyed the touch.

♥ Showing him mercy you pushed him down your throat, taking as much as you could, feeling the sting of his spread in your muscles and the slight reflex of his tip touching the back of your throat, then pulling back slowly, letting yourself calm down before setting a nice pace, feeling his body heat up, muscles twitch under your fingers, him trying to hold back, to lean into your touch instead of breaking your rhythm and his temperance lead out a moan from your lips when his tip hit your back again, the man sighing in pleasure as he felt the trail of your tongue pressing on his underside.

♥ With one of your hands massaging your heat now and the other stroking his balls, you knew the time for your control would be running short and Thomas’ hand pressing on the back of your head only confirmed your speculations.

♥ The pressure shifted from your head to you the nape of your neck, gripping around it tighter, a harsh shove, making you gag, the depths of your throat collapsing around him, letting him groan in pleasure before pulling away, and you were forced down in a coughing fit, but not for long as his arms surrounded you, lifting you up and onto his chest, his back bending slightly so your eyes could met his.

♥ With one hand still holding up he trailed the other one to your cheeks, wiping away a single tear that dared come out when your reflex struck.

♥ Gently he placed you atop his work bench, leaning in to allow you the reach to his mask, a silent question if it was okay to go without it and your fingers tangling against it assured him, that it was just fine. There was no worry as it was left on the wood.

♥ And gently your lips touched his, letting him taste the saltiness of your skin, mixed with the bitter taste that he left on them, and both of you were ready for the next part… Except you’d have to wait for that.

♥ “Thomas! Come here boy!” Luda Mae called from upstairs and you could hear the sound of a gunshot soon after, right, the people.

♥ You heard growl against your shoulder, where his head rested, his hands making the wood creak under his annoyed grip.

♥ “It’s fine, go get them, darling. I’ll be waiting.” you laughed, letting your finger trail the scars covering his jaw. He rolled his eyes, an unsatisfied pout crooking his disfigured lips. “Don’t give me that attitude. It wasn’t YOU who had to stand on the sun for a WEEK to get them here! Do your part, Hewitt.” you scolded him and his face was unimpressed to say the least, chest puffing up in an angry sigh, a tongue poking out from his lips to taunt you. And you gasp. “How rude! You kiss your mother with that mouth?!”

♥ He laughed, pressing a soft kiss on your lips - No, but you? Yes.

♥ You blushed at his boldness and watched as he picked up his chainsaw, the loud revving of it filling the otherwise silent basement.

♥ “Good luck.” you hummed and he nodded, leaving for his hunt.

#virgo writes #thomas hewitt x reader #leatherface x reader #slasher x reader #slashers x reader #thomas hewitt #tcm: the beginning #slasher community #I'm so sorry if this is messy I'm having problems focusing lately :'D #Needed to write some good ol' throatfucking with Tommy though... you know he needs the attention #hope that's fine #thank rammstein for this one bc I've been listening to them on repeat while writing this :'D

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parkapetrs · 6 years

Text

nothing personal ✎ tom holland

summary: two years ago, before harrison osterfield, there was you.

a rising name in the film industry, he was ready to leave behind the life of a personal assistant to focus on his career—but not without a last-minute replacement.

although the bond between ex-bosses and bitter ex-assistants should never be rekindled, theory is always better than practice.

a story about exotic lunches, foreign candies, a severely overworked PA, and one pain in the ass named tom holland.

/ moodboard by yours truly

i. an offer

words: 1.6k warnings: language

I was a known strategist—I looked into the future and what I saw, I interpreted in terms of opportunities for growth and progress.

And yet to some, I was a neurotic.

To each their own.

Irrespective of whatever people wanted to call it, it all boiled down to one important thing: I always had a plan.

So when I knocked on Harrison’s door but came face-to-face with one Tom Holland, I was taken aback and, quite frankly, fairly annoyed that I had come up with nothing.

But I, of course, wasn’t one for backing down when it came to ex-bosses.

Seeming unperturbed, I marched my way inside the flat, all the while ignoring the voice in my head screaming at me to get out.

What the hell was I doing?

“What the hell are you doing?” asked Tom. He was still standing at the door, seemingly frozen in time, but curiously staring at me as I casually rummaged through Harrison’s pantry.

“What the hell are you doing?” I spat back whilst pulling ingredients from left and right. “You’re not even supposed to be here until next week. So be quiet; I’m trying to make a smoothie.”

The words sounded strange and unfamiliar as they tumbled out of my mouth. Sass didn’t suit me and I was painfully aware of it, but so did not having a plan.

Desperate times called for desperate measures.

The door clicked shut behind Tom. Like a sleuth, he moved across the marble countertop where I was working up a storm, and rested his hands on either side of him as he observed me intently.

“Been keeping track?” he smirked, his tone arrogant yet teasing.

I hate to admit it, but Tom Holland possessed a kind of charm to him. As big of an ignoramus he turned out to be, that much he knew. Oftentimes, he used his wit and personality to his advantage—he’d won countless women over with one glance, and gotten free upgrades on flights with a simple smile.

Fortunately, I’ve built up an immunity to his charisma from working with him in the past. The kind of job I used to have—working in such close proximity to him—was enough to desensitize me from his cruel, borderline-manipulative tendencies.

I definitely did not miss playing personal assistant to Mr. Holland.

“I only knew that—“ The blender whirred loudly as it homogenized the strawberries, bananas, ice, and milk before I brought it to a stop. “—because of Harrison. Don’t flatter yourself.”

“I’m disappointed, Y/N.” Tom pouted, feigning hurt. “I arrived last week. Thought I’d surprise you.”

Looking around, I saw huge luggages carelessly strewn across the wooden floorboards. I grimaced at the realization that true to Tom Holland nature, he hadn’t even bothered to unpack.

“Truly, I’m surprised,” I replied, training my voice to sound bored. I grabbed a glass into which I transferred the blender’s contents. Because there was more than enough for one, and because of the sheer goodness of my heart, I asked Tom if he would like a smoothie.

Of course the glutton would like a smoothie.

“Actually, I’m good,” he said. “Thanks, though.”

Huh.

“I’d like a smoothie,” came Harrison Osterfield’s voice as he sauntered into the living room. A shit-eating grin was plastered on his face, and it was getting increasingly difficult not to slap off. “Hi Y/N. Thanks for coming.”

Somehow, seeing his elaborately coiffed hair set something off inside me. How can he act so exuberant while the rest of us (read: me) were left to our own devices to deal with the insufferable (read: Tom)? I could feel steam coming out of my nose and ears and, before I knew it, I had downed my glass and slammed it on the counter with a resounding thump.

“You can get your own smoothie.”

Harrison held his hands up in mock surrender, but he was laughing. “Woah, there. You seem upset.”

“Why do you think I am, Haz?” I challenged. Before he could open his mouth to speak, I pressed on, “Right. You forgot to tell me who’d be getting the door for me.”

“You wouldn’t have come,” was his pathetic reply. My eyes followed him as he lazily plopped down on the royal-blue couch, shamelessly lounging about in the heat of my anger.

I took the spot next to him, willing every muscle not to pounce and put him in a chokehold. “That justifies it perfectly!”

As if he hadn’t heard a word, Harrison grabbed the remote control from the table, turned on the TV, and flipped through the channels. At this point, I was livid and fuming from his blatant lack of regard to my situation. I was about to throw the “this is why we don’t hang out anymore” card when he pointed a finger to the TV, commanding me to look.

At first, I was confused. Then my mouth hung agape.

There, on CNN, was a portrait of Harrison. These days, that was no longer a rarity. Seeing as he was all over the media, picking up guest roles for established television dramas, and getting invited to countless talk shows, it was almost natural.

No, the real shock came with the news headline at the bottom of the screen, screaming in bold letters against a red backdrop.

“Harrison Osterfield to star in an up and coming historical drama directed by Martin Scorsese.”

What the…

Scorsese?!

Martin fucking Scorsese!

“Yup,” Haz said nonchalantly, but the pride in his voice was unmistakable. “Your little childhood friend just landed his first starring role.”

Suddenly, all hostility left my body at once. “Oh my God, Haz! That’s amazing. W-Wow. And Scorsese too! That’s been your dream since… forever.”

“Exactly! This is huge, Y/N. Absolutely mad.”

“I’ll miss you, bro,” came an uninvited voice. I was so overjoyed and completely thrilled for my friend that I didn’t even notice Tom had managed to wedge his head between mine and Harrison’s from behind the couch. His arms were hung over the back cushion, pinching Haz’s cheek as commendation and the other accidentally grazing my bare shoulder. I pulled away.

“Miss him? Where’s he going?” I asked.

“Nowhere. At least, not now,” Tom winked. “Come on, Haz, tell her already.”

I narrowed my eyes, looking back and forth between the two boys. “Tell me what?”

“Don’t freak out before you’ve heard the whole thing, but—“

“Don’t start your sentences like that!” I scolded. “Now I’m kind of already freaking out, thanks.”

“Okay. I know this will come as a shock to you, but I need you to take your spot back as Tom’s personal assistant.”

Harrison spoke fast and managed to get it all out in one breath, but the words echoed in my mind in slow-motion. When I didn’t answer, Haz took it as a sign to continue.

“I obviously have other things to pursue now, and with the second Spider-Man movie filming next week, he’ll really need you.”

“No. Stop talking. Why?! It doesn’t have to be me!” I protested when the air returned to my lungs.

Harrison pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Y/N, you know I wouldn’t do this to you if I had a choice. I know this is all so last-minute, but that’s exactly why it has to be you. You’ve worked with Tom in the past, and have shown your skill and competence. They trust you!”

“They?” I raised my eyebrows at Tom, who could only shrug in response.

“My manager.” A pause. “And me, I guess.”

“I find that hard to believe,” I glared. “Two years ago, you fired me out of fucking nowhere so you could spend some quality time with your best friend! And now in your most desperate time, you call for me?”

“I thought you’d be happy,” Tom hummed, but we both knew of the strain that the past had placed on whatever friendship we had. Following the events, I unfollowed him on social media shortly, and he did the same six months later when he finally noticed. We’d never reconciled since then.

It wasn’t that I grew attached to my boss that I was so bitter about it. No, it was nothing personal. But as someone who only knew to be completely invested in their work, getting laid off for no valid reason never quite sat well with me. Not to mention the mountain of bills I had to tend to in the wake of my unemployment.

Sensing the rising tension, Haz interjected. “Please, Y/N. At least do it for me. I won’t be able to do Scorsese if I can’t find a replacement. I don’t want to leave Tom with just anyone.”

The softness in his eyes spoke volumes to me. I’ve always cared for Harrison deeply, and if I was the one thing that came between him and his dream, I’d never be able to forgive myself.

Also, I was sold the moment he said, “It’s only for six months—just until they can screen and select someone else. They promised to double the pay. Triple, if you want me to pull some strings.”

“Fine,” I grumbled.

“Thank you!” He beamed and pulled me into a one-armed hug. “God, I love you so much.”

I couldn’t help the smile on my face. “But I still start next week, so you can save your praise until then.”

“Nope. You start in three hours! Tom’s leaving for LA tonight, so you’re taking him to the airport. His bags are ready,” he said, motioning to the luggages I saw earlier. “Then pick him up again next week, when he’ll start filming here in London.”

Harrison was already barking orders at me, much to my chagrin. Had he not appeased me a while ago, I would have slapped his words right back at him. But no, I was playing nice starting now for the duration of six months.

“I knew you’d come along,” Tom whispered in my ear when Haz excused himself to grab the itinerary.

“You shut up,” I pointed a finger at him. “You had nothing to do with this.”

A/N: a short and sweet first chapter for you! send me a message to be tagged in this (i’ll start doing the reblog-for-a-tag in future chapters once i’ve established that people actually wanna read this lol). in the meantime, please help me by commenting and reblogging the hell out of this first one; that shit encourages us writers uwu <3 my ask box is also open for any prompts, questions, and suggestions, so feel free to drop by. let’s be friends!

if you’re still reading, send in red and blue hearts for our boi tom holland!

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allthings-fantasy · 6 years

Text

Don’t Worry (Pt 5 of Feel Something)

Author: @allthings-fantasy

Pairing: bellamy x reader

Warning: angst, sexual contact

Word Count: 4700

Summary: The reader finds out why Bellamy has been acting so weird and decides to stay with Finn till she finished healing. But when the reader and Bellamy end up alone together will they put the past behind them?

Authors Notes: I know this is super duper hella long. But if I cut it in half I didn’t think it flowed as nicely. Maybe I should just write a book. I hope you guys enjoy it, feed back is always appreciated. ENJOY

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

When you awoke the next morning, you were in bed alone. One of your hands stretched over to Bellamy’s side of the bed and noticed it was cool, he had been up for a while. A part of you was disappointed, but the other part understood. He was a leader, people needed him. Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you tried sitting up. There was pain, but it was more tolerable than before, but not by much.

Your dry throat demanded water, glancing at the cup on the nightstand, you cursed when you saw it was empty. Taking a deep breath you swung your legs over the side of the bed, planting your feet on the floor. Glancing around the tent, you luckily found your shoes at the foot of the bed. Clenching your jaw you stretched your fingers as far as you could until you reached them. A whimper left your mouth from being bent over so long.

Suddenly the flap to the tent flipped open and Bellamy was standing there, looking at you in shock. “What do you think you’re doing?!” He rushed over to your side and snatched your shoes from you, putting them further out of reach. A groan left your mouth.

“I was thirsty, I wanted to go get a drink… maybe a bite to eat?” Your eyes lit up as you spoke to him, thinking maybe whatever charm you had would convince him to let you go.

Bellamy pressed his lips into a thin line and shook his head. So much for charm. “You know I can’t let you do that, not only did Clarke say you needed bed rest for a few days, but I can’t risk you getting hurt or infected.” Another groan left your lips, but this time it was louder. Bellamy smirked at you and helped you back against the frame of the bed.

“It’s boring in here, you’re out doing whatever, and I’m in here staring at the ceiling. Do you think you could at least keep the flap open a little bit? Let me have a room with a view?” He chuckled softly and sat down on the bed beside you.

“You’re becoming a needy pain in the ass, you know that right?” He raised an eyebrow at you. His gaze was warm, but there was something else to it. Something that didn’t feel right. But you brushed it off, deciding it was nothing.

“I thought my job was to annoy the shit out of you?” Your head tilted to the side, challenging him.

“It is, and you’re doing an excellent job.” Bellamy’s gaze shifted to your midsection. He gently ran a finger across the edge of your bandage, ever so slightly brushing against your skin. You didn’t know why he kept doing this, but you weren’t complaining. He was warm and gentle, it felt good.

Bellamy slowly pulled the bandage up again, inspecting your wound. “It doesn’t look as red…” His voice was hushed as he pulled out a roll of gauze from his pocket. “Clarke said I should change your bandage at least once a day till she can remove the stitches.” You nodded and let his fingers slowly unravel the used bandage.

Once it was off, he didn’t put the new one on right away. His gaze just sort of lingered around your stomach, your shirt was pulled up, right below your breasts. Hesitantly, Bellamy reached out a finger and brushed across your old scar. It was a simple action, but your reaction wasn’t simple.

Your breathing was shaky, cheeks turned a shade of pink. There was no way he didn’t notice you turning into a total mess in front of him. You didn’t know why you were acting this way, no guy has ever had this much of an effect on you. But there was just something about him, made you feel safe. Not to mention he was pretty damn hot.

The freckles that danced across his skin almost had you mesmerized, his dark eyes made you quiver, and his lips looked like you could kiss them for days on end. You knew you felt things you shouldn’t, it was just so easy with him.

You were too caught up in him to notice that he already wrapped the new gauze around you. “There… all finished.” He pulled down your shirt back over your midsection.

“Thanks, doc.” A smile crept onto both of your lips.

“Are you still hungry?” You only nodded. “I’ll go get you some, please stay here.” Bellamy cupped your face in one hand and kissed your forehead. You could only close your eyes and enjoy it. It took all you could not to pull him down into bed with you and beg him never to leave. He got up way too soon.

“Hey Bell?” Every time you called him that he ended up smiling. “Don’t forget to leave the flap open please?”

“Whatever the Queen wishes.” He smirked and tucked the flap back, letting you view into the camp.

You looked outside, inhaling deep as a breeze of fresh air came into the tent. This was as close to the outside as you were going to get for the next few days. Then you saw Finn walk by, he looked surprised to see the tent open. You offered him smile and a small wave. He didn’t look as happy, he looked kind of pissed actually. You motioned him to come inside.

“How are you doing?” Finn’s voice was strained. Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked up at him. You knew your best friend, something was wrong.

“I’m fine, are you going to tell me what’s wrong or keep up the small talk?” Now your eyebrows were raised.

Finn’s jaw clenched, it must be bad, nothing really ever made him this upset. “Have you talked to Bellamy yet today?”

“Yes… He just changed my bandage and went to go get me some food, why?” Your heart beat started to increase, you felt nervous but you couldn’t understand why.

His entire body was racked with rage, if you touched him he would feel like stone. Before he could say anything else, Bellamy was back, he looked pissed too. But there was something else… worry? Finn directed his gaze towards Bellamy, who was setting stuff down on the table. “So, did you tell her?”

Now your pulse pounded in your ears. You didn't want to know, but you couldn't live with yourself if you didn't find out. "Wait, tell me what?" Your eyes drifted to Bellamy, he refused to look at you. He was too busy focusing on Finn.

"Finn get out." A low growl came from Bellamy as he spoke. It honestly scared you a little bit. Your eyes darted between the two boys, unsure of who to look at. Finn's feet stayed cemented to the ground, refusing to go anywhere. You knew Bellamy wouldn't tell you whatever it was until Finn was gone.

You took a slow breath and looked at Finn, pleading him with your eyes. "Please, Finn, just give us a couple of minutes okay?" Your lips tried to form a smile but they wouldn't work, you were too nervous.

Without another glance at Bellamy, Finn left, shutting the flap behind him. Bellamy seemed to let out a sigh of relief and handed you the glass. But you couldn't drink, you just wanted to know what was happening. "What was all that about?"

"Here, I grabbed you a protein pa-"

"Bellamy!" You snapped at him, you couldn't beat around the bush any more. "What did you have to tell me?"

He wouldn’t meet your gaze, his eyes looked everywhere but you. “Y/N... it was nothing. I just..” Your hands shook as you held the cup, it got to the point where you were getting more annoyed than nervous. “Last night, when I went to go get you water... I went into the Dropship and Raven was there.” You didn’t want to hear the rest, your mind was running through all possibilities and none of them were good. “She was crying because Finn was with Clarke and... I don’t know what happened but we kissed.”

Bellamy’s words were rushed at the end, you weren’t even sure you heard him right. He kissed Raven. You ran the idea in your head over and over, each time making you feel worse. “How do you not know what happened?” The sinking feeling in your stomach almost made you throw up.

His eyes were on you but you couldn’t look at him, not now. “She was crying and she walked over to me and kissed me. I... I didn’t push her off at first but then something happened and I told her that I couldn’t. When I turned to leave Finn was there. He saw the whole thing.” Bellamy’s voice dropped at the last sentence. You couldn’t say anything, you could only listen. “Y/N... say something.”

You weren’t sure how you could be stupid enough to believe that you and Bellamy shared something. The anger you felt for yourself was more than what you felt towards him. There was no reason why you should even be upset, you and him weren’t together. But you let him in, you told him things you never told anyone, and now you’re paying for it. You thought he was different.

At first you only shrugged as a response. Your thoughts wouldn’t form into words. Bellamy shifted to move closer to you. Your hand raised, telling him to stop. “Don’t.”

‘Will you please just listen to me?” The desperation in his voice made your heart ache, but there was nothing else he could tell you, he told you enough.

“You can’t say anything, Bellamy. It isn’t your fault. Your a guy and she was a desperate girl. The only thing I’m pissed about is that I was stupid enough to think you were different. I let you in and now I’m paying for that mistake.” You swallowed the lump in your throat and chuckled at yourself. “Don’t worry, this whole incident was the reminder I needed that we are nothing.” The words you were saying burned as they came out, but it needed to be said. You were nothing to him and he was nothing to you. It was just that simple.

“Y/N...” You finally looked over at him. His head hung down and his hands were in fists. You waited for him to say something else but he didn’t, he didn’t know what to say.

Tears filled your eyes, you had to bite your lip to keep them from spilling over. He didn’t need to see you cry, you wanted him to know that you were fine. “I know this is your tent, but I need you to get out. I need five minutes and I’ll be gone.” You should’ve stayed with Finn to begin with, he was right all along.

Bellamy didn’t say anything else, he just stood up and stormed out. You let out a ragged breath. Finn came in moments later, he didn’t look as mad this time. His kind eyes met yours and he walked over to you. “Can you just take me to your tent?” The sound of your voice surprised you, it sounded so broken, pained.

Finn nodded his head and wrapped his arms around you, picking you up from Bellamy’s bed. He leaned down and grabbed your shoes before walking back outside. You pressed your face into his chest and Finn only held you tighter. The two of you finally made it and he sat you down. Finn sat beside you and wrapped his arms around you. His lips pressed against your head.

You squeezed your eyes shut as the tears started to flow. The quiet sobs that escaped your lips made your chest shake. “Shh...” His hands rubbed up and down your back in effort to soothe you. “It’s okay, Y/N.”

“I trusted him, Finn, and he did this. I should’ve listened to you, I’m so sorry.” Finn tensed at your words. You leaned back to look at him. His hands cupped your face, rubbing his thumbs over your cheeks to dry your tears.

“You have nothing, NOTHING, to be sorry for. Believe that, there was nothing you did wrong. He let you believe that he cared for you.” His words stung but you knew it was the truth. Bellamy didn’t care.

You cleared your throat and pulled back from Finn, wiping your own face. Right now, you just wanted time alone. “Can I just have a bit to myself?”

Finn sighed and nodded, he kissed your head one last time and left. Every time you blinked, your eyes burned. Finn’s bed was nice, but it wasn’t Bellamy’s. His arms felt good and safe, but they weren’t Bellamy’s. They were two completely different people, and the one you thought wanted wants nothing to do with you. So you sat in bed, staring at the wall, alone. Truly alone.

Bellamy’s POV

He couldn’t watch Y/N’s reaction as he told her, he’d never been more nervous. His heart dropped when she said she was stupid for letting him in, that they were nothing, that she was leaving. But he had no other choice than to oblige to what she said.

Bellamy headed for the camp gate, but lingered for a few moments, watching Finn storm back into his tent. His jaw clenched as he watched him leave with Y/N curled up in his arms. If he clenched his jaw any tighter his teeth would’ve shattered. “Hey, what’s wrong with Y/N?” Bellamy hadn’t even noticed Octavia walked up to him. He was shocked she was even talking to him after what he did to her Grounder friend. “Bell?”

Octavia stepped a little closer till she was directly in front of you. He sighed, he couldn’t hide anything from her. “I kissed Raven.” She shook her head and laughed, as if he was joking.

“No, seriously, what’s wrong?” The smile started to drop from her face.

“I kissed Raven.” He said it slower this time, hoping she would be able to comprehend it better this time.

“Were you drunk or are you just that fucking stupid?! You know what, it doesn’t even matter. She trusted you Bellamy, why do you constantly push away the people who care for you?” He didn’t think she’d get that upset over it, but she was right. He pushed his own sister away, now he pushed Y/N away too. “Get your shit together before you loose everything.” That’s all she said before walking away from him.

What his sister said to him stung. He wanted to walk into Finn’s tent and demand that Y/N talk to him and come back to stay with him. He didn’t think it would hurt like this, it shouldn’t hurt like this. Y/N was right, they were nothing, so that’s how he was going to act.

Reader’s POV

For the next few of days you stayed cooped up in Finn’s tent. You barely talked to anyone, even him. He tried to get you to but you just never had anything to say. Luckily when Clarke came to check on you, she didn’t even bother talking. She just did what she had to do and left.

You gotten to the point where hearing Bellamy’s name doesn’t make you cringe anymore, You just went, numb. It was almost funny to you, the fact that you’ve been through so much and this was what was breaking you. Some douche bag who kissed another girl when you and him weren’t even together.

Thankfully after day five, Clarke gave you the okay to get off of bed rest. Your legs ached as you stretched hard, extending everything. Making your way over to the front of Finn’s tent, you opened the flap and walked through. It felt good to be outside again. The cool air wrapped around your skin and you smiled in the first time in a while.

For only being back in camp for no longer than 15 minutes, you already wanted to leave. Get away from everything, everyone. You made your way over to the gate, thankful that Finn didn’t see. Quickly you made your way outside the camp, smirking to yourself slightly.

It was so quiet, your body instantly relaxed. You just left your feet carry you wherever you felt like going. A smile crept onto your lips as you noticed a bird on a high branch in the trees. This is exactly what you needed.

Bellamy’s POV

He watched as Y/N made her way over to the gate. This was the first time he’s seen her in about a week. There was something different about her, more rigid. “Hey, come back to bed.” Roma pouted out her bottom lip and patted the bed beside her. She had been his distraction for the past couple of days, and not seeing Y/N around made it easier. When he wasn’t in bed he was in the Dropship keeping an eye on the Grounder who stabbed Y/N. Bellamy promised Octavia he wouldn’t kill him, something he was starting to regret.

Roma shifted in his bed behind him, the sheets gathered around her waist to expose her bare top. Any other time Bellamy would’ve jumped on the opportunity, but not this time. Seeing Y/N triggered something inside of him. “Get dressed and get out.” His voice was rough when he spoke.

“Are you serious right now?!” Roma’s face was masked with shock and hurt.

“Yes.” Bellamy grabbed a shirt and slipped in on before walking outside his tent. He let Roma show her way out. A part of him wanted to follow Y/N, but it wasn’t his place to do that anymore.

Bellamy walked over to the Dropship and saw his three favorite people, Clarke, Finn, and Raven. He avoided Raven for the most part, there was nothing to say about what happened besides that it was a mistake. Finn refused to look at him, not that Bellamy minded.

Clarke was the first to speak, “I talked to Kane, there’s a supply depot not that far from here. It has what we need to get through winter. Do you think you can go?” She looked at Bellamy for an answer.

“Yeah, I’ll find someone to come with, help scope out the area.”

“I’m going.” The voice that rang out behind him made his blood run cold. He turned around and saw Y/N standing in the doorway.

Reader’s POV

As much as you loved it out here, you knew it wasn’t safe to stay in the forest too long by yourself. Reluctantly you made your way back to the camp gate. You walked in right on time to see Roma leaving Bellamy’s tent. That sinking feeling came back in your stomach.

You just shook your head and kept walking until you made it right outside the Dropship door. Clarke was talking about someone leaving to get supplies. Bellamy answered by saying he needed someone.

“I’m going.” The words left your lips before you even comprehended what was really happening. All four heads turned and looked at you. Glad the Brady Bunch is back together.

“No, no way in hell.” Finn spoke first, he shook his head and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “There’s no way I’m letting you do that.”

You crossed your arms and walked closer to the group. “Number one, you’re not in charge of me Finn. Clarke cleared me, I’m all good. Number two, I know the woods better than just about everyone here.”

Finn wanted to say something but he was cut off. “She’s right.” Your head turned to the side, surprised to see Bellamy taking your side. He looked back at you with that stare that used to make your knees buckle. “We leave in 10.” You nodded at him before he walked out.

“Are you fucking insane? There’s no way she can go out there with him, you just got better. And did you forget what he did?” You took a quick glance at Raven who blushed out of embarrassment. “Clarke, tell her she’s not good enough to go.”

“Finn...” Her voice was soft and she laid a hand on his arm, but he brushed her off. “Her stitches are out, the wound is closed, she’s not in any pain. She’s fine, Finn.”

You gave your best friend a small smile. “Don’t worry, Finn.” And with that you went outside. You grabbed your bag from your vacant tent and put some protein packs in it for you and Bellamy, along with a container of water. After that, you met him by the front gate. “You ready?”

Bellamy nodded and opened the gate, closing it behind you. The entire walk to the bunker was silent. Occasionally you would look over to Bellamy. His eyes were set straight ahead, focused on what was ahead. “It should be right over there...” You looked down at the map Clarke had. You felt his eyes on you.

“There.” He pointed to a small clearing up ahead.

“We found it...” You smiled up at him and he smirked back.

The door creaked as it opened. “Stay behind me.” Bellamy walked in first, squinting from the dust. You coughed slightly from the dirt in your lungs. Pulling a flash light from his back pocket, he illuminated the bunker. When you realized the bunker was empty, you stepped out from him and started exploring. “There’s nothing here.” He was pissed.

The entire bunker looked ransacked. You lifted the lid of a trunk. “Hey, there’s some blankets.”

Bellamy scoffed. “Yeah that’ll help. How about a med kit? Or a decent fucking tent?” A loud bang rung out from behind you. Bellamy kicked over one of the 50 gallon drums. Oil spilled all over the floor, along with a pile of guns.

The two of you met eyes and smiled at each other. “That’s not nothing.” A laugh came from Bellamy, you think it was the first time you ever heard a genuine laugh.

“C’mon, let’s teach you how to shoot.” Bellamy smirked at you as he hung up a large red sheet with a black X. He picked up one of the guns and set the end against his shoulder. In one swift motion, he pulled the trigger. You braced yourself for the bang that never came. Before you could stop it a giggle left your mouth. A frustrated look came across his face, it was almost cute. “It must be a dud.” Bellamy raised the gun again, this time it went off. Your eyes widened when you saw a hole right in the middle of the X. “Your turn.”

He handed you the gun and picked up a protein pack, putting a handful in his mouth. You held it against you, trying to mimic what Bellamy just. “Uh lift it up a little more.. and uh here.” He stepped behind you and wrapped his arms around you and adjusted your hands for you. Feeling him this close made a chill run up your spine. His chest rested against your back as he lowered his mouth to your ear. “Now aim... and squeeze.” You pulled the trigger and it rang in your ear drums. The sound made you jump against him.

Your eyes widened when you saw the hole right beside the center of the X. A huge smile came onto your face as you turned to look at Bellamy. His face was right in front of yours. “That was amazing.” He smirked at you, his eyes searching across your face. Suddenly the air in the room felt thick, almost too think to breathe.

“You keep practicing, I uh... need to get some air.” Bellamy’s arms dropped from around you and he headed for the door. You didn’t realize you were holding your breath until he left. A sigh left your mouth and you shook your head. There was no way you were getting caught up in him again, you couldn’t.

Clenching your jaw, you brought the gun back up to your shoulder and let off a couple more rounds. After setting the gun down, you crossed your arms over your midsection. Bellamy had been gone just a little too long. Biting you bottom lip you headed up towards the door. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You could hear someone mumbling up ahead.

“Bellamy?” Hesitantly you walked closer to the voice.

“Kill me... please. Just kill me!” Your heart dropped when you saw Bellamy crouching on the ground talking to the air. Tears ran down his cheeks as he begged for someone to end his life.

You ran over to him and leaned down in front of him. He looked right through you, like you weren’t even there. “Bellamy! Hey, look at me.” You put your hands on his arms and squeezed, he flinched at your touch.

Bellamy started shaking his head. “I need it, kill me!” His voice was hoarse and he cried harder, whole body shaking from sobs.

“Bell! I’m here okay? Look, it’s just you and me.” You put your hands on his face, forcing him to look at you. Bellamy stopped crying, he blinked a couple times to clear his vision. You carefully wiped your thumb across his face, drying the tears left on his cheeks.

He panted softly as he met your eyes, finally seeing you. “Y/N?”

You smiled at him and nodded. “It’s me... I’m here.” A shiver ran over your skin as Bellamy put his hands on your sides.

“You’re real...” It sounded more like a statement than a question.

“I’m real, Bell.” His eyes left yours and traveled down to your mouth. Then his lips were on yours. Your hands moved around to the back of his neck, fingers tangling in his hair.

Bellamy wrapped his arms around you and pulled you against his chest. His lips moved in perfect rhythm with yours. He pushed you back until the two of you were laying on the ground. You opened your legs and allowed Bellamy to lay against you. A small sigh left your lips when he rolled his hips against yours. Your tongue reached out and swiped across his bottom lip. His mouth opened instantly and you got your first real taste of him.

Your hands reached down and slipped under the fabric of his shirt, feeling the muscles of his back. Bellamy’s lips left your and he kissed his way down your jaw, finally landing on your neck. You were seeing fireworks, every nerve in your body was tingling, asking for more. It was impossible to stop the small moan that left your mouth when Bellamy found the sweet spot on your neck. You back arched up to press tighter against him.

A desperate need started to grow in your stomach. He felt good, too good, but you wanted more. “Bell..” His name left your lips. You could feel him smirk against your skin.

He picked his head up from you neck, making you pout out your bottom lip. Bellamy softly chuckled and leaned his forehead against yours. You were both breathing heavy, trying to regain composure after what just happened. You didn’t know what to say or do, those days you spent blocking him out meant nothing now.

“Y/N.” Luckily, Bellamy broke the silence. You stared up into his eyes, trying to figure out what he was thinking. “I know I messed up, b-”

You shook your head, “Please, I don’t want to talk about that.” Your eyes pleaded with his, you didn’t want the moment to end, but it was already gone.

“No, I need to say this.” You sighed and dropped your hands from his back. “I know you don’t trust me, but just know I will never hurt you again.” Your heart ached, but not from pain, from happiness.

Lifting you head, you pressed your lips back to Bellamy’s. You didn’t know what it was about him, he just had this hold over you that wouldn’t let go. Wither you admitted it or not, you already trusted him. There was nothing to worry about, you had your Bellamy.

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koscheyyy · 7 years

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Fiddleford appreciation month Day 4

Fidd takes Tate to work and the course of the day goes slightly off course. Also Implied fiddauthor aswell as trans Fidd again!

The morning was peaceful, birds chirped and the sun peeked through the blinds illuminating Fiddleford who was deep in his slumber. He was peacefully sleeping, his chest rising and falling with ease. Junior was sleeping on the end of the bed, keeping Fidd's feet warm with his exothermic fur.

Beep beep beep!

The blaring scream from his alarm woke him. He lazily opened his eyes and groaned as he sat up to turn off the alarm. Fiddleford rubbed the crusted sleep from his eyes and turned to face the empty space beside him. Stanford had been on a business trip across the dimensions to try and get more planning permission for another portal. "Two more days" he whispered to himself as he flung the covers off of him. He was about to stand up but the door creaked open. He turned to see Tate was in the door way, he was already dressed. That was odd. "Tate, you all right darlin'?" He asked in a rather confused tone, usually he had to drag Tate out of bed to get him ready for school. Tate nodded and walked over to the bed. Junior lifted his head and shuffled up the bed to greet Tate. "You said you'd take me to work with you today" Tate stated as he clambered onto the bed next to Fiddleford. "I did?" He questioned, looking down at Tate's disappointed gaze. "I mean..I did didn't I" he smiled and ruffled Tate's hair. The small child grinned and jumped off of the bed, pulling Fidd's wrist to get him out of bed faster. "Come on paaaa!" Tate moaned as he struggled to pull him from the bed. Fidd rolled his eyes as he followed after Tate. "I'm coming, I'm coming" he chuckled.

Tate and Fidd were sitting at Fiddleford's desk in his office. Tate was swinging around on Fiddleford's swivel chair as his father talked on the phone to his secretary. Tate gave a sigh of boredom and stopped spinning in his chair. "Paaaaa I thought you said we'd go see all the robots" he groaned and pulled on his father's lab coat. Fiddleford nodded along to the conversation on the other line "okay...I'll be down in two minutes, thank you Johnathan" he confirmed before hanging up the phone. Fiddleford looked down to see Tate angrily glaring up at him. "Tater tot" he bent down to be eye level with the boy "I gotta go sign some papers for your father's department, stay here. I promise I will be right back just please do not touch anything, okay?" said Fiddleford as he picked Tate up and sat him down on the swivel chair. "But paaa when are we going to see-" "I promise I will take you to see the robots just please stay here and play with your action figures, I will be back before you know it" he handed Tate his Spider-Man figurine and patted him on the head. "Okay pa" "Good boy, now stay here" he smiled before jetting out of the door and down the stairs.

As the minutes past Tate became bored with his toy and looked around his fathers office. This place was really boring. Didn't Pa say he built robots and helped dad catch monsters? Then why was his office so boring? There were no robots or monsters just drawings and math, eww maths. Tate huffed in annoyance, speaking of pa where was he? Didn't he say he'd be back in two minutes but it's been like eleventy million minutes. He was never gunna see those robots. Might as well take himself to see them since pa is never gunna get here. Yeah, why doesn't he take himself. I'm sure they walked past the cool lab when they came up to pa's boring office. Then it's settled.

Tate climbed off of the chair and walked over to the door, Spider-Man figure in hand. His small hand twisted the door knob and he was free.

Fiddleford returned as fast as he possibly could to get to Tate, dodging employees with questions and demands. As he reached the top of the stairs he knew something wasn't right because his office door was open. His heart sank and his mind panicked. Fiddleford rushed into the room to find it empty. "Tate?" He called out. No answer. "Ok Tate, funs over" he stated as he searched under the desk. Empty. "Tatum Nikola Mcgucket-Pines! Get out here this instant!" He yelled. Nothing.

That's when he really panicked.

His heart rate sped, palms became sweaty and his breathing was erratic. Where was his son? Oh god where could he be? This place is too dangerous for him to be alone! What was I thinking letting him stay here unsupervised?

"Hey there's a kid in here!"

Fidd pulled his head up to hear confused murmuring from the platform below him. He waisted no time jetting down the stairs to the lab just under his feet. Twice he almost tripped over himself as he descended to stair case. The murmurs becoming louder as he neared the lab. His panic slowly disappearing and hopefulness filled his heart. Inside the lab he came to a sudden halt. Tate was sitting on the floor in total awe of a robot that was the size of a garbage truck. His heart nearly stopped, he was dangerously close to that contraption. "Tate!" Fiddleford yelled as he darted toward his son. Tate turned to the sound of his name and saw his father running toward him. Engineer's that were conducting experiments stopped and watched the somewhat heroic scene before them unfold. It was almost like watching in slow motion as he ran toward Tate. However, Tate has never been one to clean up his toys and had lazily left his Spider-Man action figure on the floor, directly in Fidd's stride. The moment he saw it go underfoot he knew he was done for. His left foot almost cartoonishly slipped on the toy, causing him to fall forward onto the white marble floor. His hands out in front of him, preparing for impact. The whole lab gasped and held their breath as he tumbled. Fiddleford then did an (as elegant as possible) front roll which caused him to roll right in front of Tate. The whole lab was literally frozen with shock. Fiddleford then grabbed Tate and stood up. He cleared his throat before addressing the room. "That is why we do not run in the lab and why we do not leave equipment on the floor!" He stated to everyone before walking over to the stairs, toward his office. Picking up the toy from the floor as he went.

Tate crumpled in Fidd's arms. He could tell his father was angry with him. The child remained silent and looked down at his hands the whole trip back to the office. Fiddleford also remained silent, thinking out what to say to Tate. Sure he was angry but he was also relived and Stanford was sure to be angry at both of them when he finds out. So maybe he should go a little easy on him now.

Fiddleford opened the door and sat him down on the chair much to his arms relief, he was getting heavy now. Tate refused to look up at his father who was leaning over the desk looking down at him. "Tate..." Fidd said in a calm tone. He didn't answer and just curled in on himself a little more. "Tate please look at me" Fidd demanded softly. The child lifted his head up to meet his fathers gaze. "You're mad at me" he stated, his voice cracking slightly with the tears that were beginning to form in his eyes. Fidd gave out a long exhale. "I'm not mad Tate, just- well a little but I'm more disappointed that you went against my word and went outside, do you know how dangerous it is in that lab, heck your father nearly sets fire to himself eight times a week" his volume grew slightly but tried to remain non-threatening. Tate curled up a little at the sudden increase of volume. "Look Tate I'm just saying this because I love you, I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you and what would your farther say?" He asked and walked around the desk to sit on the table before him. Tate looked him in the eye before letting a few tears dribble down his cheeks. "I'm sorry pa!" He cried and leapt into Fiddleford's arms. "Okay, okay, I know ya are but please just listen to what I say next time, okay?" Fidd whispered as he stroked Tate's back, comforting his son. "Okay" he snivelled into Fidd's shoulder and dried his tears. "Do ya wanna go see the robots now?" He smiled at his son. "Uh huh" he whimpered and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. "Okay then" he smiled and placed Tate on the floor. Hand in hand they walked out of the office and back down to the lab to enjoy the rest of the day.

#Fiddleford appreciation month #day 4 #Fiddleford mcgucket #Tate mcgucket #trans Fidd #parallel fidds #parallel fiddauthor #gravity falls #junior

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bowlsister75-blog · 5 years

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This Is Us Reveals Jack and Nicky's Post-Vietnam Relationship, What Really Happened on That Boat

Need to catch up? Check out the previous This Is Us recap here.

What we thought might’ve happened on a horrible day in This Is Us‘ Vietnam storyline… didn’t, this week’s episode reveals. Jack’s brother Nicky didn’t go out on a boat with a box of explosives because he wanted to end his life, or because he was so high he didn’t know any better.

But the truth of what did happen on that day during the war is so, so much worse — as Kevin, Randall and Kate learn when they track their uncle down.

Read on for the highlights of “Songbird Road: Part 1.”

POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE | That postcard Kevin found at the end of the last episode wasn’t isolated: Turns out, Nicky had been sending them to Jack at the office for some time, with messages like “Hope you’re well,” “Need to talk,” “Abandoning hope” and “Just 5 minutes,” all signed “CK” — aka “Clark Kent” — and all featuring the same return address on Songbird Road in Bradford, Pa. Every time Jack received one, he angrily shoved it in a drawer. But when Nicky sends the last one to the house, Jack decides he needs to take action.

So he lies to Rebecca and the kids, telling them that he has to visit a lumber yard for work on a Saturday, and he drives to 2125 Songbird Road. He finds a scruffy Nicky waiting for him in the same trailer we saw in a previous episode; though earlier Jack had been visited by memories of the two of them fishing as kids and talking about the lives they would lead, now he’s steely as he demands that his brother not write to him at home. “You drove all the way from Pittsburgh to tell me that?” Nicky asks. “That’s how much I mean it,” Jack says gruffly, turning to leave. But Nicky offers him a beer, and then some Nesquick upon learning he’s sober, and soon the siblings are sitting down inside.

TWO ROADS DIVERGED | Nicky gives Jack some photos from their time in Vietnam, and they reminisce about their mother’s inedible chili lasagna. (Side note: That actually sounds delicious to me.) But when Nicky broaches the subject of what happened during the war, Jack swiftly shuts him down. “I don’t want to go back there. I want to leave that right where it is,” he says. “I’ve relived that day so many times in my head. I didn’t mean for that boy—” Nicky continues, but Jack refuses to listen. (Side note:At this point in the show, given the way the story cuts between the past and present, we know what Nicky’s referencing. We’ll get to it in a moment in this recap, I promise.) “I’ve got a wife and a family. I’ve moved on,” he says, getting up to go. “Did I ruin your life?” Nicky asks, and something about the earnestness in his voice must give Jack pause, because he tells his brother that he has “a good life” and shows him a photo of Rebecca and the kids.

After Jack departs, he stops at a convenience store before he gets on the road to home. For a brief moment, he considers going back to his brother’s place. But in the end, he turns toward Pittsburgh. The moment Jack returns home, he confesses to Rebecca that he lied, but he doesn’t tell her the whole truth, either: He says he was visiting “someone I knew from the war” and speaks vaguely about “something bad that happened there.” She asks if the visit helped. “A little, maybe? I don’t know,” he answers. But when she brings up the idea of talking to someone who can help him, he acts like he didn’t hear her and leaves the room, saying he’d like to get cleaned up.

FAMILY REUNION | In the present, we join The Big Three and Rebecca just as Kevin has filled Kate in — via FaceTime — about Nicky’s existence. “Mind completely blown,” Randall says. Bradford, Penn., is a six-hour drive from Alpine, N.J., and Kevin is planning a roadtrip. Does anyone want to go? Randall is in, but Kate points out that she’s in California and pregnant (so that’s a no), and Rebecca seems very bothered by the whole situation. Mama Pearson does not want to go, she tells her kids, but she does volunteer to watch the girls while Beth is busy with some upcoming job interviews.

Later, after helping quell Beth’s nerves about her job prospects, Randall confides in her that he’s worried that Kevin will be disappointed by Nicky — likely because he won’t be able to find him. “And I’ve got to be there for him,” Randall tells her. So the brothers prepare to hit the road, and when Kate surprises them in New Jersey, she’s on board for the adventure, as well.

A quick recap of the car ride: Randall packs terrible snacks. Kate has to pee. Oh, and Kate can’t fathom how she’s been lied to her entire life… until Randall points out that this is Whopping Lie Number 2 he’s had to encounter in the past couple of years. Eventually, they arrive at the trailer… but no one is home and it looks like it might be abandoned. But then a man approaches with a brown bag-wrapped bottle in his hand and wants to know what is going on: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Old Uncle Nicky. (Hi, Griffin Dunne!)

‘I NEVER GOT TO TELL HIM’ | “Jack know you’re here?” Nicky asks, which leads to them giving him the bad news. He doesn’t really react, and he doesn’t seem to want them to stay, but Kate puts her foot down, pointing out that Kevin traveled the world for some answers about their pop. “We’re not going anywhere,” she finishes. “Yeah, you’re Jack’s kids all right,” Nicky observes.

They all sit down, and he begins to lay out what happened in Vietnam. “I was a medic who sampled his own inventory,” he says, adding that Jack tried to clean him up but that “he should never have come to me.” Then Nicky has a flashback to one morning when he woke up by the water in Jack’s camp to find a little Vietnamese boy staring at him. In the flashback, he taunts the kid by eating a chocolate bar in front of him, but then the kid grabs his glasses and teases him, smiling and laughing. Pretty soon, Nicky is laughing, too. He trades the remnants of the candy for his glasses, then says, “Let’s go fishin’.”

Nicky rows them out into the middle of the lake, where we see he’s brought along a box of hand grenades — or, as he calls them, a “secret weapon.” He pulls the pin on one and tosses it over the side; there’s a muted boom and a bit of bubbles, then some dead fish float to the surface. Nicky and the kid happily toss them into a basket, then Nicky rows them to another part of the lake. But when the kid playfully grasps for another grenade after Nicky has already pulled the pin, Nicky fumbles the bomb and it lands in the boat.

In agonizing slow motion, we watch as he tries to get the boy to jump off the boat and swim for his life. But the boy thinks it’s all a game and stays put. Eventually, Nicky has to abandon ship in order to save himself. After the blast, Nicky surfaces, unharmed, but the boat is destroyed and the boy is nowhere to be seen.

Jack and his men eventually pull Nicky from the water. But when the elder Pearson sees the boy’s sandal floating in the wreckage, he starts screaming, “What did you do?! He was just a kid!” at his brother. On the shore, the boy’s mother collapses in grief — the boy was the one Jack helped with the fever in a previous episode.

Nicky is loaded onto a helicopter and taken away, and Jack doesn’t even watch it happen, barking orders to his men as if it’s a normal day. In the present, Nicky softly laments, “I never got to tell him.”

Nicky still carries his guilt, and he tells The Big Three that he’ll never forget the boy’s mother as she wailed on the sand. He also says that Jack saw everything in black and white. “That’s why he had two lives,” Nicky explains: the one before “I ruined everything” and the one after. Then he politely kicks his nephews and niece out.

CRISIS AVERTED? | Back at Randall’s, Rebecca wonders whether she could have done more to help her first husband when he was struggling with the emotional fallout of his time in Vietnam. “I think there was a darkness inside of him. I think that he was afraid if that darkness got out, then it might swallow up the light that he got from you, from the kids,” Miguel reassures her. “And make no mistake: You and the kids were everything.” She’s not convinced. “I used to love that answer,” she says flatly, “because I wanted to believe it. But now, I want the truth.”

After Kevin, Randall and Kate leave Nicky’s, they stop at the same convenience store where Jack decided to go back to Pittsburgh. But then Kevin remembers Jack telling him that kids can repeat their fathers’ mistakes or they can correct them. “I can’t leave him like Dad did,” Kev announces, putting on his blinker and turning back toward Bradford.

It’s probably a good thing he does. When they return, the trailer door is unlocked, and Nicky is sitting at the table with a handgun very close by. Randall delicately moves it away, but his uncle barely seems to notice. “I never got to tell him. It was an accident,” Nicky says despondently, and Kevin puts a comforting hand on the older man’s shoulder.

Now it’s your turn. What did you think of the episode? Sound off in the comments!

Source: https://tvline.com/2019/01/22/this-is-us-recap-season-3-episode-11-songbird-road-part-1-jack-nicky/

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