#i was like... so numb during a lot of those times asw
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#idk if this counts as a vent tw 😭😭✋#cos it isnt exactly ???#but talk of lik3 idk past stuff ig#idk its just its so weird thinking back on when police would come to my house nearly every week 😭😭#like my brothet hasnt been violent or threatened violence in ages and im rlly proud of him for that yk#like i hate him but i get how hard it can be restraining ur anger and im glad hes gotten better#but damn that was an odd time 😭😭✋#i was like... so numb during a lot of those times asw#idk cos there was an incident maybe a month ago? and it wasnt even /that/ bad but i was literally up in my room full body shaking#and idk how i dealt with it when i was younger#i was so chill about it#like '🙄😒 the police are here again better hide in my room so they dont ask me questions' kinda vibe#bro howd i go from that to literally shaking and being scared of moving and making my bed creak#like 😭😭 i wasnt even in any danger#(and the recent incident was after like months and months of nothing too bad)#(and i get it ppl regress sometimes and that shouldn't reflect negatively on their progress)#but sishskshks#and god its so tired being hypervigillent godamn#like sittinf upstairs with my phone anxiously listening to see if hed be violent and if id have to call the police#its so draining#rlly dont know how past me did it#props to them fr 🙏🙏🙏#oop a couple tws i need to add#tw violence mention#idk if i need to add anything else actually pls tell me if i do
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