#i think I'm gonna have to transit to the next city over to get it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blueink01 · 1 month

Text

Ch. 2: Immediate Murder Professionals

The Next Day at the Imp City-

The Chapter starts at the I.M.P building that recides in the Imp city in Pride ring. The sound of the busy streets can be heard in the background.

The scene transitions to a closed door labeled "IMP Headquarters", with a crude sign made from a sheet of notebook paper that reads, "Meeting in progress" with a smiley face drawn next to it. Inside, Blitzo is walking in front a whiteboard on the wall as he lectures his employees

"Alright. Now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here.." He looks at Moxxie.

"Moxxie." Moxxie gives him an incredulous look in response.

"Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?" Millie leans over the table with her eyes sparkling. "What about a car wash?"

"We're in hell, Mills, no one gives a fuck about clean cars." Yn replies to her idea. Blitzo thinks for a second.

"Wh- Ooh! What about a billboard?" Blitzo waves his hands with an enthusiastic flair as sparkles fly out. Moxxie rolls his eyes.

"We can't afford a billboard, sir." Blitzo wraps his arm over Moxxie's shoulder.

"Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now." He pushes Moxxie away.

"Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?" Blitzo turns on a TV that shows the I.M.P. crew brutally murdering people from the overworld as they are paid to do. Blitzo whacks a man in the face with a mallet, Moxxie is blown away firing a shotgun through the mouth of a man tied to a chair, Loona swings a man back and forth in her mouth, Yn snaps a persons neck so that is spins around a few times before falling off, and Millie decapitates someone with a harpoon and laughs. Everyone is watching the TV, with Loona, Yn, Millie, and Blitzo eating popcorn.

"Ahh, those were the good times." Blitzo smiled.

"I don't need any reminding, sir. Considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel... nobody watches." Moxxie said.

"Uh, hey. Excuse me? What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!" Blitzo explained.

"People love musicals, sir." Millie added.

"That's true." Yn agreed.

"Exactly, Millie! And we're basically doin' a musical." He does jazz hands.

"Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my dad did?"

"Sir--"

"Cause, right now? All I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside."

"Are you tryin' to crush his dreams, Moxxie?"

"Wow, Mox. That's fucked up, I thought you were a classy man." Yn said in a flirty tone.

"I-- What?" Mille leans closer to Moxxie in a flity way.

"I thought I knew you." She playfully sticks her tongue out at Moxxie as she blushes and rolls her eyes affectionately.

"I can't believe you, Moxxie!," She tearfully holds up an employee of the month plaque with Moxxie's picture on it. "After I made you employee of the month!" Yn chuckles while looking at the photo of Moxxie.

"Okay, sir! I'm sorry; a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theatre. Nobody actually likes the jingles!" Moxxie said.

"I liked it." Millie supporting Blitzo.

"Me too. It was good." Yn added.

"Do not--" He points at Yn and Millie. "Do not agree with him in front of me!"

In the I.M.P. commercial-

"Hi, there! I'm Blitz! The "o" is silent, and I'm the founder of I.M.P.!" He gestures to the logo as it appears on screen, then disappears. Two pictures of Blitzo in different scenarios show while he speaks. The first shows he wearing two top hats through her horns, a monocle, and twiddling a fake mustache, while standing outside of a burning building with a sign that reads "Orphanage for Elderly Blind Newborn Dogs" appears. The second shows Blitzo wearing an angel costume at a coffeehouse happily throwing an empty coffee cup in a trash can, instead of the recycling bin right next to it.

"Are you a piece of shit that got yourself sent to Hell, or are you an innocent soul who got F**KED over by someone else?!" The commercial cuts to a demon guy wearing an Ohio sports jersey, giving a testimonial, while Blitzo holds a cardboard sign in frame that reads "Some guy who hired us!!".

"After lovingly killing my wife for f**king the delivery man, you can imagine my surprise when I wound up here, after the state of Ohio killed me! I really wish I could stick it to that yappy jogger who saw me hiding the body!" The Demon Guy Shares.

Blitzo is speaking to the camera and holding a grimoire, while Moxxie and Millie are arranging lit candles on the floor in a pentagram while Yn is putting guns and drugs into bags. While Blitzo speaks, his eyes narrow as he does a magical gesture with his hand and a flaming portal appears on the floor. Moxxie and Millie run off in surprise. She tosses the grimoire aways as she walks up to the portal.

"Well, luckily for you. Thanks to our company's special access to the living world, we can help you take care of your unfinished business by taking out anyone who screwed you over when you were alive!" He falls backwards into the portal. The scene transitions to a person with their arms crossed and a thought bubble appears depicting another person being crossed out as the commercial jingle vlavs in the background.

"~When you want somebody gone,~" A dead body falls near the person as they notice and look up.

"~and you don't want to wait too long~" Yn, Moxxie, Blitzo, and Millie are shown in a circle logo. Blitzo holds her arms out as Moxxie holds up her rifle, Yn holds a cane sword in a slashing motion while smiling and Millie holds up her spear. A letter "I" appears to the left of them, while a letter "P" appears on the right of them. The four together form a letter "M", thus spelling the initials I.M.P.

"~call the Immediate Murder Professionals!~" Yn, Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie are inside of their building and Moxxie throws a grenade out the window. The four cover where their ears would be as an explosion goes off. A severed arm goes flying.

"~Hand grenade or cyanide,~" Blitzo is shown hanging someone with a rope as Millie finishes writing a suicide note and Yn is throwing bags of drugs around the room.

"~We'll make it look like suicide~" Blitzo is shown electrocuting someone, Millie is shown hitting someone on the head with a mace, Yn is cutting someone's limbs off and Moxxie is shown strangling someone.

"~The Immediate Murder Professionals!~" The I.M.P. logo spins around quickly as the scene transitions to Blitzo creating a portal to the living world in a wall, then jumping through it. He is followed by Yn, Millie and then Moxxie, who trips over the grimoire and falls into the portal.

"~We do our job so well,~" The four come up through the other end of the portal and adjust themselves.

"~Because, we come straight out from Hell!~" The I.M.P. trio suddenly look shocked as it appears they have accidentally teleported to a church in the middle of a service. A female preacher and the congregation look back at the demons in confusion/fear.

One bearded man, however, has his head laid back as he sleeps with earbuds in. Millie is shown struggling to remove a knife from a naked couple who are in 69 position, while Yn is covering Moxxie's eyes, and Blitzo examines a pair of panties.

"~We'll kill your husband or your wife~" Blitzo stabs someone tied to a chair repeatedly in the head while sporting a goofy expression.

"~We'll even let you keep the knife~" A quick sequence then shows the four assassinating their targets in numerous horrific ways, such as with a medieval torture chamber, riding a shark, burning someone alive, suffocating someone with a pillow, playing on a grand piano after it crushed someone, and using an electric chair. In the final scene, the four are hiding in a bush in a park and Moxxie is about to shoot a blonde woman looking at her phone from behind.

"~We're the Immediaaaaate... Murderrrrrr... Profession--~" Moxxie accidentally shoots a boy passing by, eating an ice cream cone.

"AUUUGH!" The boy collapses as Moxie looks on in shock. Yn, Blitzo and Millie turn their eyes to Moxxie in surprise.

"Wow, Mox."

-Time Skip in Hospital-

The boy is wheeled into a hospital operating room on a hospital bed by a doctor, a pink-haired nurse, and a blue-haired nurse

Pink-haired Nurse: "Doctor, he's not responding!"

Blue-haired Nurse: "Cool water, stat!" The pink-haired nurse whacks the boy in the face with a bucket of water, doing nothing but leave a large welt on his face.

Blue-haired Nurse: "It didn't do anything!" The boys tongue flops down from his mouth.

Doctor: "Dammit! I'm not losing another one." Everyone has their defibrillator paddles over the boy.

Doctor: "CLEAR!" They all zap the boy and he wakes up with a gasp.

Doctor: "Holy shit! It actually worked." Yn, Blitzo, Millie, and Moxxie are waiting outside the boy's hospital room. Blitzo is reading a magazine, while Yn and Millie comfort Moxxie, who looks devastated. The doctor comes out of the room with a clipboard.

Doctor: "He appears to be in stable condition, but he'll need surgery." He looks up from clipboard.

Doctor: "Now, what insurance provider do you freaks have?"

"The fuck is insurance?" Yn quickly stands up and punches the doctor through a wall. Outside of the hospital a window breaks and the boy's hospital bed flies out. The boy is unconscious in the bed, while Millie, Moxxie, Yn, and Blitzo are holding on for dear life as they plummet screaming to the ground. The bed is stopped by a rope that has become tangled around Blitzo's foot. Blitzo slams his face into the bed, the rope snaps, and they all continue to fall.

"~Kids die for freeeeeee!~"

Back at I.M.P.-

The scene cuts back to the boardroom. Yn, Millie and Moxxie are sitting across from Loona, who has her feet up and is watching a video on her phone of Moxie getting hurt

"I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target. It's very simple." Moxxie jesters to Loona.

"Oh, sit on a d*ck, Moxxie." Loona replied still on her phone.

"YOU sit! Sit on... a... and the... d-- DO YOUR JOB!!" Moxxie yells.

"Hey, now. We don't blame our screwups on Loona, okay?! She didn't do anything wrooooong~" Blitzo hugs and nuzzles Loona, who snarls at him in response.

"...Are you kidding me, sir? She's awful!" Moxxie insulted.

"She's not that bad." Yn said defending Loona.

"What?!" Moxxie yells, looking at Yn shocked while Loona smiles.

Flashback with Loona-

Loona sits at her desk, reading a magazine called "Monthly", Her desk phone rings with the sound of a cute puppy barking as the ringtone.

"Hello, I.M.P." Loona answers without even looking up from her magazine.

<Loona, I got stabbed! Call Yn or Mox-> Loona suddenly hangs up, disinterested in the conversation. Next, she is in Blitzo's office.

"Happy Adoption Anniversary, Loonie! I got you a little somethin'." he presents her with a gift.

"Is it a cure for syphilis?" Loona interrupted Blitzo figuring out what was in the present.

"I... Oh..."

"THEN, I DON'T WANT IT!" Loona snatches the present and angrily slams it on the floor.

"UGHHH!" A large swarm of spiders suddenly emerge from the present box and swarm Loona up to her neck.

"I'm sorry! It was spiders!" Blitzo is suddenly hiding outside of the office window.

"Goddammit." Yn walks over to Loona with a small box.

"If it's not the cure for syphilis, then don't bother."

"It is the cure." Yn said. She looks at the spiders, her eyes glowed yellow than red scaring the spiders away.

"It is?"

"Yeah." Yn hands her the box and she opens it seeing the cure. She hugs Yn while her tails is waving around.

"Now we can have some fun later~" Yn blushed heavy red at the thought.

Loona is then shown at her desk, watching an online video of Charlie performing "Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow".

"Um, c- excuse me. Did you just fax me an ad for weight loss.?" Moxxie approaches her with a flyer for "Chub B Gone".

"No."

"Wha-- Why- Why would anyone send me this?"

"C'mon.." She looks up at Moxxie. "You know why."

The next scene shows Loona rummaging through the break room fridge.

"Whoever left the fucking... avocado salad in the fridge, I'm taking it, because I have the worst hangover right now!" Loona turns around to face Millie with a red box in hand as she shuts the fridge door with her foot. She rips off the lid and drinks the salad.

"Why would you drink on a work night?" Millie questioned.

"I'm hungover from this morning, dumbass!" Loona angrily responded back finishing up the salad. Yn and Moxxie enter the room and notices Loona with her box.

"Isn't that my lunch?" Loona drops the box on the floor.

"Y'know what?! I can't take this assault right now! I need to blow off some-" She kicks the box at Moxxie, knocking her out of the room and surprising Yn and Millie.

"-f**king steam!" She picks up Yn and moves her to the side. Loona runs out of the break room and out into the street.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" Loona runs up to a succubus lady passing by on the other side of the street, pushing her baby in a stroller.

Loona kicks the stroller high into the air and storms off, while the demon lady stands there in disbelief. The scene transitions to Loona at her desk, telling Yn and Blitza about a caller.

"Blitz! Yn! That clingy, rich asshole is on the phone! Says it's urgent and wants to talk to you! He sounds a little DTF-y." Yn, Blitzo and Moxxie are standing by a water cooler. Blitzo throws his cup of water on the floor.

"Oh, GOD, it was one time! If we hadn't slept with that privileged asshole, none of us would have access to the living world." Moxxie stares in stunned silence.

"..You what?"

Flashback in a Bedroom-

Stolas is sleeping naked in bed. He is hooting like an owl and there are feathers everywhere. Blitzo, who is partially nude, walks away quietly with the grimoire in hand. Yn puts on her clothes and she cracks her back.

"How can a bird be that thirsty and kinky?" Yn question, she can feel her lower half of the body is sore.

"Got the booook, got the booook! Got this fuckin' heavy book!" Blitzo keep repeating himself.

Blitzo reaches Stolas's balcony and lays the grimoire on the ledge. Grunting, he attempts to step up on the ledge using the grimoire. Instead, the combined weight sends both his and the grimoire falling forward off of the balcony. Yn runs towards him and grabs his tail but she too falls off the balcony.

"Fuck!" "Oh- Oh, SHIT!!" Yn and Blitzo lans on the cake that Stolas's wife and her friends are having, splattering pieces of it all over them.

"Oof! Sorry, we fucked your husband."

"Sorry for the cake." Blitzo picks up Yn and runs off.

End of Flashback-

"BLIIIITZ! NN!"

"Yeah! Yeah!" Yn yelled back as she pinches the bridge of her nose and a hand on her hip.

"WE HEARD YOU ALREA-!" Yn and Blitzo are in his office, talking with Stolas, and playing with a bobblehead of Moxxie while Yn is sitting as far away from Blitzo as possible knowing that she's gonna hear some fucked up stuff.

"Sooooo, what can we do you for this time, Stolas?" Stolas is shown talking on his phone from a fancy mansion.

"There's a political candidate causing trouble up on Earth for a few of my associates. He's trying to convince people global warming exists."

"Doesn't it?!" Yn asked.

"Well... yes. But, more people die if nothing is done about it. And it gets lonely here~"

"Okay, well. Yeah, that makes sense." Blitzo replied.

"You know what happens when I'm lonely, Nn and Blitzy?"

"Oh boy... Here it comes..." Yn said as she is leaning back.

"God-f**kin'-dammit." Blitzo pulls his phone away and talks to himself.

"When I'm lonely, I become hungry. And when I become hungry, I want to choke on that huge **** of yours, ****** Nn's ****** and lick all of your ****, before taking out You're ******, and ***** with more teeth until we're screaming ****** like two FUCKING babies--!" Yn is looking blankly at a wall while clawing her ears out. Blitzo, who's visibly disturbed, on his phone Stolas name is listed as "creepy mouth (aka one night stand bird d*ck)" with a call total of 48 seconds. as he hangs up, a knock out noise plays.

He snaps his cellphone in half, smashes it with his desk phone, tosses said desk phone away, pulls out a blender, puts the cellphone pieces in it, and blends them. Blitzo turns and hands the blender to Loona, who was standing nearby.

"Eat this!" Loona drinks the blended cellphone mixture.

"And then y'know that bridge over the freeway?"

"Yeah?" Loona raises her eyebrow as she says.

"Take my car and sh*t off it.." Yn said intensely.

In the Meeting Room-

"Look, the point is, Loona is a valued member of our family, and we don't get rid of family." Loona looks up from her phone and briefly smiles, touched by Blitzo's words.

"We aren't a family, sir! You are the boss! We are the employees! You treat her like she's some troubled teenager! She's more like a meth-addicted homeless woman you let man the phones!" As Moxxie rants, Loona continues looking at her phone, slowly flipping Moxxie off.

"That is offensive! Without homeless people.." He walks over to window and raises blinds, "I wouldn't have HALF the joy and laughter I do in this life!" Blitzo puts his face up against the window, cracking the glass, and sees a homeless demon, looking sad and holding up a sign that reads "Money helps. Satan bless." A succubus is on her cellphone and turns away from the hobo. Blitzo smugly waves at him, before lowering the window blinds.

"While we're on the subject of "family", can you stop finding me and Millie outside of work?" Moxxie looks at Blitza annoyed.

"Come on, sweetie! It's not that big a deal!" Millie said with hand jesters.

"Overreacting much." Glass shattering noise plays as Moxxie makes a stocked face.

"Excuse me... WHAT?!" He looks at them both.

Flashback-

Moxxie and Millie are preparing dinner in their kitchen

"Honey, can you get me the butter?"

"Sure, sweetie." Millie opens the fridge door and finds Blitzo inside as he hands her the gross, viscous butter.

"Spoiler alert: the butter's spoiled!" Millie giggles. Moxxie throws the diced carrots into the soup.

"What's funny, honey?"

"Really impressive wordplay."

"WHAT THE--?! WHY ARE YOU IN OUR FRIDGE?"

Later that evening, shows a building, Inside their Moxxie and Millie are asleep in bed. The former is tossing and turning as the sound of a cat purring can be heard. Moxxie opens his eyes and sees Blitzo standing on him, looking him right in the eyes.

"Whatcha dreamin' about?"

"I was dreaming my parents were being murdered while Yn is destroying my and Millie's a**es, but now... I'd like to go back to that."

In the next scene, Moxxie is singing the end of "Oh, Millie", as Millie joins in on some parts. "~Of all the imps in Hell,~"

"~it's for her that I fell~"

"~It's for him that I fell~"

"~Oh, Millie~" They close their eyes to kiss, but Moxxie notices Blitza outside the window holding a camcorder.

"Are you fucking filming us right now?!"

Flashback Ended-

"Just... stop... doing that!" Moxxie scratch the table.

"I don't see what the issue is! There somethin' you don't want me seein'?" Blitzo shrugs.

"No!" Moxxie's eye twitches in anger.

"You a baby-wenner-hammer?" Yn and Loona snicker at the same time as Blitzo talks.

"Sir, what you say and how you act is totally INAPPROPRIATE!" Millie lays her hand on Moxxie's shoulder.

"Calm down, Mox! You're gonna have another panic attack!"

"I AM CALM!" Moxxie starts whimpering in anger while looking back at Blitzo.

"Shh-shh-shh. There, there." Millie pats his head.

"Look, I don't judge the boring couple stuff.." He motions his hands to imply sexual activity, "...you do outside work hours. So, don't... judge me!"

"Oh, I do judge you, ma'am! Quite a lot, actually!"

"Mox, he's our boss!"

"No-no-no, it's fine Mills, your husband is just... how do I say this without being offensive? retarded" Blitzo smudged.

"Does immaturely insulting me make you feel better about your sad, single life?" Blitzo leans towards Moxxie.

"It actually does." Loona then jumps in on the confrontation.

"The only reason you have a wife is because you're easy to manage!" She looks away from her phone to glare at Moxxie. Millie slams her hands against the table, looking at Loona with anger.

"No, he's not, you BITCH!" She flips Loona off. Loona growls at Millie.

"This is priceless." Yn leans back in her chair while eating popcorn, enjoying the show.

"Do not talk to my receptionist that way! She's sensitive!"

"Yes, I am!"

"You guys are all f**king a**holes." Yn, Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona's eyes all widen in surprise. They look at Eddie, the boy Moxxie accidentally shot earlier. Eddie is lying on a table with three wires from a heart monitor attached to his stomach.

"Oh, shut up, kid! You're lucky to witness this!"

"Ugh, this company is such a mess!" Moxxie pinches bridge of his nose.

"Alright, let's get back to talking about my outfit."

"Nobody was talking about that, Blitz."

"Which is why I'm tryin' to get that ball rolling. So, how does it look? It's good, right?"

"Sure... Let's go with that.." Yn said.

"It's been a literal hell.." He detaches the tubes of the heart monitor, "having to pretend to be paralyzed so you f**ksh*ts wouldn't kill me! But, now I want that. I want death!" He points at Blitzo.

"You are a selfish, greedy clown. And I'm a kid! We're supposed to like clowns! Even the creepy ones!"

"Hey, now! That's not very-" Eddie interrupts Moxxie, intimidating him, "If I wanted to hear from a spineless jacka**, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some sh*t." Millie slams her hand on the table, the other gesturing at Moxxie.

"That's my husband you're talkin' to!"

"That's your husband?!" Moxxie and Millie snarl at Eddie, "I figured you for a sl*t. But, I didn't know you needed d*ck that bad!"

"And You!" He points at Loona.

"What? What about me?"

"Nothing. I don't talk to dogs. I'm a cat person." Loona gives a wide-eyed glare, whines at Eddie with anger, and goes back to looking at her phone.

"Wow. Y'know, kid, you are a huge piece of sh*t." Yn said.

"Yeah. He's kind of a piece of sh*t." Everyone in Union agreed.

Eddie looks at Yn, "Don't do it..." he points at him.

"You-" Loona's eyes widen as she receives a text message.

"Oh, f**k! Guys, I just got a text from our client! Guess he was the right target after all."

"Who?"

Him." Loona points at Eddie.

"Him?" Yn looks At Eddie.

"Me?"

"Yup." Loona responds smugly, without looking up.

"They wanted us to kill an actual child?"

"That's what they're sayin'."

"Well, Christ on a stick. I guess there is a God."

"АHHАННННН!" Before he can shoot Eddie, Yn makes fire slowly climb up Eddie's body, he screams as he's skin is slowly being turned into ash.

Yn lifts her hand making Eddie crashe into the wall, all of his skin gone from his body, he lands on the table while his eyes turn to Xs.

"Damn it, Lovely! I wanted to do that!" He throws his pistol onto the floor.

-Time Skip-

Then blood covers the screen, then reveals Yn, Blitza and Moxxie kicking Eddie's corpse, Millie stabbing him, and Loona recording everything on her phone.

"Y'know, folks? With this company, I really wanted to prove that we're capable of doing the same things anyone else can. Like killing people!" Blitzo and Moxxie are shown wearing full hazard gear, dismembering Eddie's body with a hacksaw and chainsaw respectively. Blood splats on the screen again, then shows the group by a dumpster putting Eddie's body parts in a garbage bag.

"So, from us here at the Immediate Murder Professionals group, we promise to settle your unfinished business or your money... is gone and you're never getting it back, and you can write us a bad review but we'll play dumb to it, because it's Hell and no one f**kin' cares." Blitzo hugs Yn, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona, the latter's phone flying out of his hands.

"Y'know, even though this kid was a target... he's still a child. And it's important that we handle this going forward respectfully." He wraps his tail lovingly around the group. The group all smile as the scene cuts to a newscast, showing Eddie's mother tearfully holding up a bad drawing of her son. A male news reporter holds a microphone up to her, looking disinterested. The headline on screen says, "Mom sucks at drawing own kid", while the ticker bar constantly reads "There is a missing boy! Yet another missing kid!"

"Please! If anyone has seen my little Eddie, please contact us at-" Eddie mother is interested by a bag full of Eddie's bloody body bag suddenly falls into her arms.

"OHHH!" Eddie's mother and the news reporter look up in shock as the camera follows their gaze. Yn, Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie are shown looking down on them through a portal. Blitzo smiles and waves.

"You're welcome!"

"You're a sh*t mom, ya wh*re!" The four disappear in the portal as it closes.

~Ending with a Cut To Moxxie singing to Millie~

Previous Page: Ch. 1: The Hazbin Hotel

Next Page: Ch. 3: The Murder Family

Beginning: Front Cover

16 notes · View notes

blogofloathing · 3 months

Text

A loud, cheesy anthem plays as an awful stylilized OCWE appears on a black and white TV screen

"Good belated myorning folks, I am your esteemed host! Gillian Barlows Jr! And you are watching the Ocean City Watcher Éire! Hyere to bring you the latest scyoop on the people of our great city! who are they? Why are they? When are they? How do they peel their y'apples? Let's find out nyow!"

A new fangled transition effect plays as Gillian gives an overly exaggerated shocked expression.

Approaching our first interviewee, Gygan Clarks of the Ocean City Watchful Eye, but it seems he isn't particularly excited to see us haha, wonder why.

Our trusty boom man sticks the mic in his face, at which Gygan looks visibly annoyed, sheesh you'd think we killed this guys business or something.

"What do you want Gillian" he spat, frankly I'm offended he would be so rude to a reporter!

My cameraman delivers the question after a discreet go ahead sign waved in his direction

"Look unless you think apples can make coffee taste better I'm not interested," Gygan hisses, and after a short pause mutters "with a pocket knife"

And indeed if the bulge in his pocket isn't due to seeing me, he carries said weapon on him.

Let's move on from this wannabe newsman before he gets violent! You know how those types are.

Grumbling to himself, something about "fuckin' trend hopping fast news pieces of-" haha anyway!

An apple shaped transition plays, and due to formatting issues doesn't properly disappear

•••

Our next guest went up to us herself upon hearing there was a survey, so give it up for.. Simone Chekhov! Of the S.I.T Robotics department—

Somehow interrupting this audio added in post, the girl fires up a seemingly long held rant.

"Well actually it's Robotechtronics there's a very subtle but important difference in the two fields but anyway I made a machine that peels them so precisely the skin dissolves in contact with the air due to being sliced at such a thin micromascopic level that their mololcules are-" a thin homeless girl sticks a thumbs up wildly behind Simone.

The video is suddenly stopped here due to space, a cartoonish image of sad Gillian giving a thumbs down is shown onscreen for a few seconds.

•••

we're sorry to cut this short but our camera ran plumb out of juice trying to record it all haha!

Though this did little to falter her one sided rant, even as we turned our attention away from her

Moving onto the aforementioned hobo (it's good to get a perspective from the less than fortunate.)

"OOO OOO you're gonna ask me a question! Give it here!" She jumps excitedly, the words slamming into our crew much in the same way she physically rammed into my mic man in her overzealousness

The dusty girl, who we made sure didn't touch any of our equipment, had been chittering something inane at Simone when we asked, somehow able to properly talk between each other rather than over.

"I dunno I just chomp em, see?" taking a playful bite out of her sour face, leaving a toothy mark.

... the sounds of crickets chirping has been added

"Agh! Victoria!" She expleted, wiping her face off with her sleeve, "that's gross- you're gross!"

Though Victoria didn't seem too bothered, a sly little grin making its home on her spotted face.

"Hey don't pretend ya didn't like it" she slithered, at which Simone gave her a rather hard smack on the head "and there's more where that came from!" The bespectacled girl tittered haughtily.

A tinny and muffled laugh track plays, as Gillian audibly clicks a tape recorder to start and stop

•••

Moving on from those, shall we say interesting, characters, our boom operator caught wind of some music playing a few blocks down.

And we followed the groovy tunes to their source, coming upon quite the cello fellow!

Who is contentedly playing his instrument, my team having to remind him of the question, "oh I just slice em up with my trusty pocketknife!" Holding it up for a second before going back to ringing out the tunes.

Looks to be the same kinda knife as that.. eh I forgot his name already.

I say someone should definitely toss that guy a quarter, not me though.

Really if he can afford a cello is he actually that poor I mean cmon- ah, I've been instructed by my cameraman to stop here.

A bubble and wave crashing sound effect plays too loudly, with a chintzy fade to black transition

•••

Taking a dip per sé, we find.. someone else to ask.

Attempting to avoid being seen, the oddly slimy fellow is hiding against a wall, but seeing as his clothes aren't the exact shade and texture of bricks, "I, I don't know what an apple is? please leave me alone.." he croaks out in a froggy tone.

"Would you like to try one?" My boom operator chipperly inquires, at which the still unnamed weirdo looks even more terrified of us than before

"N-no I'm good really I.." it trailed off, guess they make hobos different these days, I can't get a read on what this guy might be on the street to beg for.

"Cmon I'll get ya a fresh one" he says again, taking a step closer to it, making the thing jump loudly.

Before running away from my team in a lurch, leaving weird wet slappy footprints in his wake.

Well that was certainly productive, why don't we heed this guys words and move on to another!

A hexagon transition with a splat sound effect, it doesn't even fully segue, cutting halfway through

•••

At the urging of my team, we reluctantly almer over to a goblin for questioning, she seemed to be dancing animatedly.. or maybe boxing with the air?

"Hi! Yes yes Hello! To apples slicing? No no, Gabby is practicing see?" It said, nearly assaulting one of my cameramen, "Gabby is champion of the box!"

a goofy swirl sound effect and then a laugh track

We don't speak creature so I have no idea what any of that meant, I'd say we get out of here before that thing gets aggressive, I've heard the stories of these kinds of monsters being dangerous!

They're lucky they don't have rights or else we'd totally sue them for emotional damages.

a spooky transition effect plays, bats flying across the screen and a very poorly done witches laugh

•••

As we were making our way back to the studio, my mic man caught eye of some kinda hobo living in the alley, I insisted we don't interview something like that but who listens to me around here?

Walking up to her, I'm already less than enthused about her appearance, something in her eyes wasn't like it should be, they seemed to stare directly inside of us unlike anything.

"Hello ma'am how would you say you peel-" my other cameraman began, being cut off by her wheezily trilling poem, "peel? Peeling, skin peeling wallpaper off the wall, apples falling trees cutting"

I.. wow! Okay! That is not at all what any of us were expecting, all our hairs stood violently on end.

Like looking into the den of a wounded predator about to make a strike, protecting its wounds.

She stepped closer to us, gazing through us, it felt as though she saw more than just my skin.

"Apples and oranges" it felt as though she wasn't even talking to us, despite facing our direction.

No one bothered putting a transition effect here, the camera simply cuts right to the next scene

•••

aaaaand one last questioneer today folks! As we were wrapping up and dutifully wiping down and sanitizing our stuff to get all the filth off them, a distracted old guy bumped into us, and sooooo!

"Oh! Eh uh, I mostly just eat cheese" the weirdo said emphatically before forcing us to look at a horrible mass of aged milk madness, before reassuring us that "it's Käse Brezel! The finest in the city! If ya see me come and buy so-" yeah no

Sorry sir I don't even know what language you just spoke there but I can tell it ain't somethin I'm gonna be eating, especially from someone like you

Though my crew seems oddly interested in it, I'll have to show them what real food is like I guess,

gives me an excuse to hang out with those mooks.

anywho, our final stop of the day was a nice little cheese pretzel shop, the finest in the city!

An equally loud and somehow even cheesier little outro theme plays as we fade back onto Gillian

"Well thyank you all for tyuning in this fine after nyoon, we hope we could answer all of your deep byurning questions! As always I am your esteemed host; Gillian Barlows Jr! And you have been watching the Ocean City Watcher Éire, where we catch up the scyoop and throw it to your hyoop! See y'all nyext week with our next Q: how good is the government doing right now? ( A: pyerfect!)"

#original character #original writing #shadows over loathing #west of loathing #wol #writing #oc character #sol #writers on tumblr #creative writing

7 notes · View notes

void-ink-studios · 5 months

Text

An Unhinged Animal Crossing ramble

I haven't played my Animal Crossing file in over a year, but damn did it help me through college.

I don't know about any of y'all, but I made backstories for the villagers on my Island, and they all had connections and families. I made lore for these adorable little bundle of pixels.

Some of these backstories are ridiculous and silly. And I'm okay with that. This post is for me, I am this post's target audience. If you like my nonsense, that's on you.

Mac and Cherry are siblings, Mac being the overly enthusiastic younger brother while Cherry's the cool and aloof big sister. Cherry left home to start her music career, and she's doing pretty alright as an indie solo act. Mac wants to be a wrestler, but misses his big sis, so he kinda set out to follow her. Cherry used to find him super annoying and was really pissed that he followed her, but their relationship is getting better. She's learned to appreciate she always has him in her corner, and has started to return the favor for Mac's training. Mac was the first to move to the island, as a great private spot for training, and talked Cherry into moving in when she was done with her current tour.

Clyde is literally just vibes. He's a country boy, but his rural neighborhood is getting encroached on by suburbs. So, he became a backpacker, looking for somewhere not very busy or high pressure to settle down. He has a passion for woodworking and bug collecting and has formed an unlikely friendship with his neighbor Julia. Tiny brain with a massive heart. Doesn't know what a politic is, doesn't wanna know what a politic is. Would think a huge cheese wheel is an appropriate gift for a first date.

Julia wanted a fresh start, with her new name and identity (because you cannot look at her and tell me she isn't trans). With a dream to be a fashion designer, she transitioned very publicly and said so long to everyone who knew the old her. She is a high demand city girl, but got tired of the grind and questions and judgement. So, she retreated to the island to collect her thoughts, get inspiration, and just vibe in a place where no one knew who she was. She has expensive tastes, but has found an unlikely friendship in the kind but simple farm boy next door.

(Yes, I do think there is a Halmark Christmas Movie ass romance story waiting to happen here, don't judge me)

Gruff and Vladimir know each other. They know each other far too well. Two bosses of different families, families with some less than savory business practices. Vladimir moved into town from the old country, and muscled in on Gruff's turf. The two hated each other at first, constantly plotting the other's downfall, until they discovered a mutual desire to protect their family. Gruff has his niece Chevre, while Vladimir has his granddaughter Meagan. They saw eye to eye, at least enough to not try and kill the other. It more became a game to them, and soon they covered for each other from the cops. Gruff came to the island first, mostly as a way to finally get out of the city, but wasn't alone for long. Before she moved away, Meagan tipped Vladimir that Gruff was at the island, and he soon followed. Now they take pot shots at each other in the form of old man banter, sometimes with graphic murder plots, and no one can really tell if they're joking or not.

(This is the part you're gonna have to go with me on this)

Marina and Cephalebot are an unlikely duo. She claims that he's her younger brother, but everyone can see there's something off about him. He's adopted, but from where, no one knows. Except the family (There's so few octopi villagers I just like to think they're all a family, okay?). Marina found him in a crater in a corn field, with no memory or understanding of where he was. So, she decided that was brother material enough. In reality, Cephalebot is an alien probe. He was sent to Earth to study the local life and report back (kinda like Eve from Wall-E), but crash landed. He felt welcomed and loved by the family that helped him, so he decided to stick around. So, he lives as a resident of the planet he was meant to study, constantly learning how to vibe as an Earthling. He comes across as weird and a little invasive, but he means well. Marina, however is all that she seems on the outside. She is sweet, she loves pink, and she's the big sister everyone would want. She's also surprisingly handy with a screwdriver (because she's learned how to repair Ceph if needed). Marina came to the island as a perfect beach house spot, noticed all the bugs and fish in the area, and called Ceph to join her because of how much he likes studying the wildlife.

Drago is the heir to a powerful family (either business or actual royalty I can't decide), but does not have a cutthroat bone in his body. He's gentle where his parents are ruthless. He gets called an idiot and soft all the time, and no amount of "training" ever makes him a cruel person. He had enough one day, and bailed. He took some money, some snacks, and left. He found the island as the perfect escape from his family, and set up shop pretty quickly. He gets a little nervous around some of the stronger personalities, but quickly warms up when he realizes none of them are as vicious as the ones he left behind. He hangs out with Clyde at snack time, helps Shino with her performances, and even likes listening to Vlad and Gruff's old man ramblings.

Shino is not of this realm originally. She was a demon, summoned by a jealous actress to sabotage her rival. She took on the mortal form she now inhabits as a way to get closer to her target, but something else captured her interest. She fell in love with the stage, with the attention she received for her own skills. So, she ditched her contract and set to travel the world as an actress in her own right. She writes plays and poems, and performs them for whatever audience she can find. She moved to the island for similar reasons as to Julia, to refresh and get some new inspiration. She found that she liked it there, and has made an unlikely friendship with Drago, an always willing audience member.

----------------------

If quite literally any of that was interesting to any of you, feel free to reblog or add your own thoughts. It was nice to finally just dump all of those ideas out there.

#void rambles #void thoughts #animal crossing #animal crossing villagers #animal crossing lore #animal crossing headcannons #heandcannons #so many headcannons #I don't know if any of that made any sense

9 notes · View notes

mermaidsirennikita · 8 months

Note

also now that rwarb was such a successful adaptation, which queer romances would you like to see them tackle next?

Weeeeelll if there were zero budgetary and casting restrictions in place, if I could just wave a magic wand and make great adaptations--

Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid--SEEMS like one of the easiest options, comes built in with a sequel, and it's like. Along the same lines as RWARB, while being.... a lot more sexual and a good bit angstier because the stakes are arguably HIGHER (mostly I'm thinking of Ilya being a world-famous Russian athlete who's also like. Bi.). I feel like it's funny and swooningly romantic in a manner similar to RWARB, but it's the next level up in a sense re: maturity. I also think, again, they could actually do this... albeit with a lot of obstacles re: both sexual content and like, casting dudes who could be fake hockey players lol. And one of them has to either be Russian or miraculously do a bang-up Russian accent. Both of these things are challenges.

The Queer Principles of Kit Webb by Cat Sebastian--would be SUCH a good mini? A historical romcom with the soft bisexual former highwayman and the flashiest motherfucker who's ever walked into the tavern or whatever like "HELP ME ROB MY DAD... and I will consider letting you look at my ankles". And then he SWORDFIGHTS LMAO? Perfect perfect perfect. then you could have the Marian book as a sequel.

Something Fabulous/Something Spectacular by Alexis Hall--you begin with a mini on the ultimate m/m romcom roadtrip romance, then you transition to the equally funny but also deeply emotionally stirring book about two nonbinary characters falling in love? and one of them is BASICALLY a rockstar?

A Long Time Dead by Samara Breger--the sapphic Interview with the Vampire, incredibly good and wry and dark and funny and ROMANTIC

A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall--would be an amazing sweeping four part period drama; I just love the premise so much, with the heroine transitioning by faking her death at Waterloo and her best friend never emotionally getting over it and then meeting her again after her transition and not recognizing her until he realizes she has THE SAME FRECKLES??? JESUS. A full-stop ROMANCE romance.

The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by KJ Charles--JOSS DOOMSDAY and his gay exploits in the marsh! Blackmailing his old hookup to continue his smuggling operation and then following that old hookup home and going "so like... you down to fuck or....?"

This is completely impossible but I'm gonna pie in the sky and say Tiffany Reisz's Original Sinners would make the most demented borderline-impossible explicit TV series ever. Imagine the ongoing antics of a bisexual dominatrix, her ex-boyfriend except actually not except the love of her life who is a Catholic priest that gets sexual pleasure out of inflicting pain, a totally straight man (according to himself) who has nonetheless been in a 20+year off/on thing with a bisexual French guy who runs the kink underworld of New York City or something. And they all fuck together sometimes. Like at Christmas. Complete with a snowball moment! Because Christmas!

New Camelot Trilogy--will never happen, but in my wiiiiiiildest dreeeeeeams this would be like, a 10-episode miniseries (or more??? Like a full outlander-style 13 episode series..... or a three season deal with 8 episodes per season...). It's just one of my favorite romance series of all time, it does such a good job of melting from the simple love triangle to this complex menage a trois of possessive wounded messy people? And somehow two of them are the president and the vice president lmao??? Of course, in the same sense... I'd love a Thornchapel miniseries. Like, you'd get a m/m/f throuple, a f/f couple, and this one bi priest guy they all fuck with at points? But nobody wants me to have the Gothic polyamorous friend group romance I want.

#romance novel blogging #once i started listing i just went 'actually all my favorite queer romances deserve adaptations'#original sinners is ... debatable on the romance thing. it's definitely a LOVE STORY lol

16 notes · View notes

sleepyowlwrites · 7 months

Text

The Dungeons & Dragons (2000) Project pt.2

there is where I tell you a bunch of out of context reactions from rewatching this movie.

Profion is a little in love with that scepter I think

what does "power of the immortals" mean? there are no immortals mentioned ever again!

you couldn't even afford real fake blood, really?

ah yes, the mages, aka the 1%ers, very subtle

"young people think with the heart" are you sure you're trying to defend her right now?

I'm gonna get dizzy from these pan up a building transitions

oh old guy does have a name. but I'm not gonna call him that

I wanna see the deleted scenes. oh wait I own the dvd. maybe "the scroll of which nobody spoke" is in there

"you gonna catch me?" stop it please

exposition! is it even helpful tho

man if this scroll can't be decoded, how will our heroes know what to do?

Snails how did you ever steal anything before if this is how you act

oh the banter. oh it's bad. mmmmmm.

pretty sure that's not how you snap somebody's neck but okay

why did you run into that trash heap

it's daytime! where'd they get those cloaks

ugh the plant ears thing

oh yeah, this is a great start for enemies to lovers except for the part where like. there should be chemistry and stuff

"yeah but I'm the protagonist so I'll be taking over the plot now"

I know it's just a thing that dwarves and elves don't like each other but. why like this

"bar fight!"

"oh yeah, she got us into a host of trouble! we're still gonna help her tho 'cause she's pretty"

foreshadowing but not really it's just bad

questing time! next stop, a new city!

oh we're there. okay.

what exactly tips Riddley off that purple dude is how to get to the thieves guild, huh?

but also it works

but also it doesn't

but also it does and it's discount indiana jones time

yeah. nobody else was smart enough to BREAK THE MECHANISM WITH A SWORD

Riddley you've gotta stop trusting random people my guy

guild fight!

oh no, Damodar got Marina! how. he's so slow about everything

it's 'cause she's useless unless Riddley is filling that spot

oh no, got captured by an elf lady! no it's fine, we're gonna go rescue Marina

eep eep eep torture? scene eep eep eep

okay I hate Snails 'cause he makes trouble and weird noises and is generally annoying but Damodar is worse

daytime! let's go get our helpless female companion

"they gots to do it by themselves because destiny or something" okay sure

Snails why

Damodar do you even know what thieves do

if I cared about Snails I'd be sad but I don't so I'm not

Riddley is stupid!

man, fairy dust can just do anything in this world

empress stop talking. I know we're going for the american dream but you suck at public speaking

where even are we. elf forest? why is Tom Baker here? did he also need to renovate his castle?

"don't finish your quest it'll throw the universe out of whack and cause destruction"

"sorry about snails but not all mages are bad"

"yeah well okay I guess we can kiss"

that sword looks very plastic

oh right, Riddley has to go alone. protagonist.

dumbass.

"hey don't finish your quest it comes with dire consequences"

oh no Damodar has Marina again!

Riddley. Riddley no.

dumbass.

through the portal!

these dragons are. something.

hammy Jeremy Irons, we love to see it

Riddley come on, stab him!

or don't

mm power

or not

yeah yeah just change a classed society to a classless one with one sentence, great job

i cannot believe they gave us sequel bait

if snails is alive I'm gonna become an evil mage

join me next time when I go through this movie in great detail!

#sleepy stuff

1 note · View note

companionwolf · 11 months

Text

pride month drabble challenge fill #1

prompts: 15. Transmasc + 9. Moonlight + 7. "Do you ever get afraid?" (prompts)

fandom: XCOM 2 (gen verse)

TWs/CWs: none

---

They're standing on the flight deck with Central, the cold moonlight turning them both silver black blue. Beside them, their XO stares out over the railing toward the distant glittering night shine of a city center.

His breath fogs in the air, and the Commander wishes they had those stupid sweaters still. They itched but they were warm, and the wind that rushes over the deck is frigid enough that they'd be willing to wear the damn thing again.

The Commander studies Central's face. He looks like they've always wished, no longer the clean and proper young man he was, more rugged and just--

Their stomach twists.

Masculine. Almost stereotypically so. He has it so effortlessly. They never will-- they don't know the state of gender affirming health care now and frankly? They'd rather not; it'd make them cry more than everything already does.

But they look at Central and they're envious. They look at him and they want to wear his skin. They look at him and mourn what they can't be.

Their capture did nothing to help. They guess it's nice that they didn't age, but... that's time they've lost. They'll never get it back. Time they could have--

Could have what? No time for transitioning when the world's on fire, they think bitterly.

Central looks over at them.

"You're looking awfully pensive," he says. "Something eating you, Commander?"

"Do you ever get afraid?" they ask.

Their central officer's mouth drops a bit in a frown. "Not sure I'm following," he says. "Of the aliens? The war? The Chosen? What's next? You're gonna need to be--"

"Of -- of not getting --"

Their voice trails off. What does their dysphoria matter, in this time? So meaningless admist the horrors. They shove their hands in their pockets and look at their feet.

Central's eyes are on them. "Ohhh," he says as they try not to meet his gaze. "Ohh, you think you don't deserve to talk about whatever it is, I see."

He scoffs. "Well, I think you do," he says, looking back out at the city center. "Even if it seems small to you, it still means something. You should get to talk about it."

"Thanks, Central," they say.

"So what is it?"

They take a long breath of the crisp cold air, feel it burn in their chest. "I'm not who I'm supposed to be," they say, hesitantly. "And I probably won't ever get to be."

Central's looking at them again.

Their stomach churns under his soft gaze. "Stop," they say. "Stop, you're pitying me."

"I am not," he retorts. "I still don't even really get it but maybe I don't have to. This is a trans thing, right?"

They nod.

"I won't ever know what that's like," Central continues. "I won't claim that I would or will, but..." He pauses. "I don't know, if I can help somehow, I'd like to."

The Commander shifts weight from foot to foot, is still avoiding eye contact. "I don't know what you could even do," they say. "I mean, besides what you do already, with pronouns and..."

"Yeah, but that's just being a decent human," Central says.

"Maybe that's all I can really ask, all you can really do," the Commander says. "Not like you can just manifest a surgeon or HRT or whatever."

"If I could I would," he says. "I could... someone has to be helping folks in the resistance transition. I'll look around."

The Commander smiles a little, shuffles a little closer to Central.

"You're right," they say. "There has to be somebody, something." They hesitate. "I just...sometimes I feel like I'm alone, and that it'll never happen, and that I have to settle. That's what I mean."

"You shouldn't ever have to settle," Central says. "Not on something like this-- when it's about yourself and your life and..." He struggles a second. "You should get to be happy."

The Commander wants to reach for his hand. They don't. Instead they say, "You should too."

He looks away, back toward the cityscape and its neon lights. "I've got mine," he says. "Your turn now, Commander."

The Commander closes the distance between them, leans on him. "What if we both got ours? Got to be happy?" they say. "What about that, Central?"

Central stiffens under their weight, and then relaxes a bit. "I'd like that," he says, his voice quiet, slow. The Commander can feel his body rising and falling with each breath under their ear.

"Me too," they say. "Me too."

#wolf barking #tailstrokes #hello commander #pride month drabble challenge #hey you can add readmore on mobile wo doing the :readmore: thing now?????#anyway * strikes a pose * have this #also sorry jax all i have to offer is x2 brainrot so thats what youre getting #i added the dialouge prompt from my own list bc i needed. more inspo ^^;#and i do these challenges very haphazardly (ie i roll 3d10 on each prompt list and do that instead of day by day) so i hope thats alright.#everyone: can we see something else other than c/c shipping / me: sorry brainrot!#'ITS BEEN 6 YEARS WOLF' IM IN HELL!

2 notes · View notes

jellogram · 2 years

Text

Oh shit, I never told you guys about the time I went downtown by myself! Okay so first year of college I had a habit of wandering around the greater san diego area by myself and I grew up outside the main area so I didn't know my way around all that well and I didn't have a car so I was entirely dependent on buses and trains. I had never used google maps before even though it was 2017 so I got around by asking directions and using those little route pamphlets at the front of buses.

So I decided to go downtown by myself and our downtown is pretty small and relatively safe. Since our transit sucks it took a while for me to figure out my way there, but a few transfers later I saw a neighborhood I knew and got off, not understanding that this neighborhood was absolutely nowhere near the rest of the cool stuff downtown. Ended up walking several miles (in flip flops) to get down there. This is essential to note because you've gotta understand that by the end of the day I was absolutely exhausted and got lost several times and I was losing daylight. All I wanted was to go back to my dorm and I had no fucking clue how to get there. I asked a bus driver for directions and he got mad at me. Got harassed a few times, just generally over being out myself and frustrated that I couldn't find my way home.

Ended up in a not so great part of town, but I had a switchblade so I kept it in my palm. This dude starts coming the other way and when I go to pass him, he throws out his arm to block me. I sighed and went the other side, and he blocked me there too. At this point I was absolutely not having it. I was tired and lost and just totally done so I took off my sunglasses and looked him in the eye as if to stare him down. I was about to fully go off on him, I had my hand literally around my knife, and this dude goes "Oh shit! I'm sorry! I thought you were my friend and I was just messing with you!"

My heart was in my throat so I didn't answer and I just walked away, but I was thinking about it like bro I almost just made you fucking bleed. Why on earth did my fight or flight response choose fight? Did my tiny ass knife give me that much confidence? That could have gone really wrong in a number of different ways.

So I'm thinking about this and eventually I get to the right train station after much difficulty and I'm sitting there on the bench biting my nails and watching pigeons and the next thing I know there's this dirty old guy shoving something metal in my face. I was like "Are you kidding me right now, am I actually getting mugged?" I had just walked ten miles in flip flops, lost and cold as the sun went down, and this dude was gonna take my wallet with my bus pass. And then I looked a little closer and I see it's not a knife, it's fucking nail clippers. He saw me biting my nails. I said "No... no thank you" and he laughed this phlegmy smoker's laugh and all I could think was man, I just want to fucking go home. Nobody fucking talk to me anymore, get me out of here.

I eventually did get home and I got a lot better at the transit over time so it wasn't such a pain getting around. I've met a lot of interesting people at bus stops and train stations and around downtown too and I'm glad neither of these people meant any harm but gotdam was done with the city.

#idk if anyone will read this wall of text but this was the first in the long line of excursions #this was by no means all that happened to me that day either lol i got so fucking lost #i swear to god sante fe depot exists outside of reality

4 notes · View notes

steamishot · 3 months

Text

mindset shift

i've been working to shift my mindset to live in NYC as if i'm not moving away soon. it's really hard to be present when i have one foot out of the door. my old expectation was "we're going to move back in X months", which resulted in a lot of disappointment and internal struggles. i'm trying to turn this into "we're going to be here for another year and anything less than that is a treat". instead of focusing on when we're gonna be in LA or our next travel plans out of the city, we've been doing a lot of activities locally. i even signed myself up for a 6 week pottery class at NY togei that starts end of february. the class costs $495 and is a huge splurge, considering i've never paid for any "fun" multi-week classes my whole life. this is really a dream come true for me. that means i have to sit my ass down and not go anywhere! if this class goes well, i might even consider signing up for the intermediate class.

on top of pottery class, i also tried to sign up for an acrylic painting class. unfortunately, the class is very small (8 people) and it's competitive to get into. i was #26 on the waitlist. the idea of going out into a class with a consistent schedule (or like, having an obligation outside of the apartment that isn't a social plan) is very appealing to me. i'll continue to try to get into acrylic painting.

yoga: matt and i are doing hot yoga even more consistently now. we go at least 1-2x/week. yesterday, when we did a wide legged forward fold, i surprised myself because i was able to place my forearms on the floor for the first time. additionally, i finally did a crow pose for like a second! i normally don't even attempt the crow pose because i assume i'm too weak. but yesterday i was in the flow and damn, i surprised myself haha.

work: my workload has been a little all over the place. i'm doing L's old work, and the work i transferred over to her has returned to me. there has been new payroll and compliance matters. we have V joining our team next week. V previously worked in our department and i've met her before on occasions - i remember her to be nice and easy to work with. from my understanding, V will take over L's old duties. i'll still be the youngest person on our team.

week activities: this week, we went to double chicken please (#1 bar in north america currently with taiwanese owners), went to pinos to get dry aged steak, cooked the steak using a reverse sear method for the first time (greatly recommend), completed a 1000+ piece LNY dragon lego set, went to apotheke warehouse, hosted 3 friends for the superbowl. the pro is that i'm happy matt and i are having a lot of fun during his week off. the con is that the extremities of his schedule get to be too much with our studio living situation (it's still either too much time alone or too much together time for me). i felt relieved today when he left for work because i missed having the whole apartment to myself haha

friends: the 3 friends we hosted during the superbowl: R&T, L are all leaving in the next half year. R&T just moved here last september, and T accepted a job in dallas. because his job is a hybrid schedule, he'll be super commuting between dallas and nyc for a few months so that they don't have to break their lease and can have a full year to explore NYC. L is leaving in august to norcal. hopefully, we are leaving as well... so our superbowl party is basically a farewell party for all the people who are leaving the city.

hobbies: i am consistently playing chess with B. i suck a little less now. she used to beat me all the time and i think my score went down to the 400s. now i'm back up to 800s and i'm at a 7W/8L scoring with her. i'm on a 63 day streak learning chinese on duolingo.

relationship: this past year has been pretty challenging to navigate due to expectations (of lifestyle, health, job searching, moving back home) and transitioning to an attending job for matt. residency really felt like he was living under a rock and in constant survival mode. the first year of attendinghood still felt like an extended residency because it was super time/energy consuming, which was against my expectations and disappointing. in fact, he had worked longer weeks (>100 hours) than he ever had during residency. i had a lot of doubts about our future because life was "supposed" to be SO much better after training and it just... wasn't. from his training, he had developed GAD and disordered eating. 1.5 years later, matt's getting the hang of the job and worrying less outside of work. he works 80 hours or less per week now. he's continuing to adopt healthier habits outside of work - eating better, exercising more, taking care of his health. he's at 10 months of doing therapy now which has been invaluable. happy to report that he's really taken over the househusband duties during his weeks off. this frees up mental capacity for me to think of how i can grow my income.

0 notes

lifewiththelulus · 7 months

Text

Considering how it's implied the shop became a centerpiece for establishing fire town it probably has a lot of historical significance now. Kindlin came to visit to have something close to an authentic fire land experience. Hazel and the family were visiting for a week to help take care of ember's parents. it would be funny to think Kindlin isnt sure at first if Hazel likes Cirrus because they hung out a lot to share tips and experiences. Shes just like "lol no"

Ohh yes! So she walked in looked around at all the snacks and toys until she saw the blue flame and walked over to just look at it. She probably didn't have one in her family because I'm thinking it might've gone out by accident and they were too ashamed to ask someone to share theirs. I like the idea of them meeting at the blue flame. It really does connect people

She sees Hazel making a small offering and is fascinated and a little confused to see an "air" element praying to it

Kindlin is definitely confused but has learned to mind her own business. She probably makes an offering and then maybe they bump into each other after

"Oh sorry- hey it's you! I saw you make an offering to the flame." She helps Hazel back up. "Do air elements pray to it often?"

"oh not really but I'm not-" Suddenly Ember calls her over to help cinder and when Hazel calls her Ashka it clicks

She then sees the water guy who'd opened the door for her and greeted her in broken firish kiss her forehead and her mind is just slightly blown

She's probably never met mixed elements before so is very intrigued by this She kinda just watches from afar, pretending to look at the candy. She's a little hesitant to just go up and start asking questions. She eventually goes to the counter and since she's closer to Hazel she curiously asks "Is that your Dad??" Points at Wade.

" oh hey! Sorry we got cut off before, yeah that's him. Wait did he say something weird to you with the door? I'm so sorry we're both still learning the language"

She shook her head. "Honestly the language isn't my strong suit either. So no worries." She smiled and took out one of the candies she just bought. "You busy? I got a lot of this, if you wanna share. You seem cool"

"you know I think my dad said something about not taking candy from strangers butttttt you seem cool too"^^ It could be traditionally spicy candy and Hazel just poofs right then and there. "oh flame I killed her"

Kin walks out like "I didn't do it byyye"

"who were you talking too puffball?" "I don't know, but I hope she comes again soon"

I can see Kindlin coming back the next day to get some more candy and give another offering She also kinda hopes to run into that nice girl again Hazel was probably the first person her age that she hung out with for a while so she's eager to hang out again if given the chance

Hazel at this point hasn't transitioned but has started presenting more feminine. her "weird mannerisms" already left her without a lot of friends so she's excited to see her too

Kindlin has no idea lol just sees a cool girl who probably needs friends as much as her

After a week of hanging out at the shop neither one wants to talk about how they're leaving soon. Only to realize they were both visiting and live nearby back at the city. At first it wasn't that weird for kindlin to show up to the shop alone a lot of fire kids go in by themselves since they live nearby and the community is like a family. But the fact that they've still not seen her mom around is more than a little strange

She starts getting in the habit of swinging by everyday to grab a snack and go skateboarding around the area until it gets dark Just waiting to see if her friend might visit again Not like she had anything else to do

She adds a little section for kindlin to read whenever they send letters back to Bernie and cinder.

Kindlin hangs out around the shop to see if Hazel is gonna come back at some point cus she misses her buddy

#falls on her face 🛹#lost in a haze~ 💜

0 notes

i-appear-misssing · 8 months

Text

I think I'm pre menstrual cause I lifted like 1/3 of the weights I usually lift and it felt nearly impossible and also I drank so many things and I am

So depressingly sober

Not even in like that melancholy way where I can't wait to leave the party and drive around in the dark and listen to music. I drove for ten minutes listening to favor and it felt even more sobering. I thought of petty things and I asked myself why I can't spend more than a week without thinking of a person.....I was about to say "I don't want to think about", and it's true, but it sounds callous. It's not that I hate them or whatever. I mean noticing certain things like a different profile picture taken by some third other person is still somewhat upsetting, but it's not like I spend my days picking at myself over her like I used to. It's just. Sometimes I dream of her and I wake up thinking that I'm so tired. I don't wanna know if she still thinks of me, I really don't. I want to be free and I try to. Not hard enough apparently.

And I'm going out with someone who's so......so nice and pretty and pure. And I don't know if we don't click on my side cause I actually don't click with her or because there's some deep underwater creature lurking inside of me preventing me from just fucking enjoying it. I can feel myself be distant with her, closed off....I can feel myself mask. And then so often I leave our dates feeling so good. And then I go home and I'm so confused

I thought I had a good grip on myself, the way i feel things. I don't, I know.

And then there's this huge fucking decision coming up. Where I get to spend my next four years, who gets to teach me the job I'll be doing for the rest of my life, supposedly. Some days I tell myself it's not gonna make that bug a difference, psychiatry is psychiatry, which school you attend can only change so much of the whole thing. But is it true? Do I want to go to a city far far FAR away from home cause I want to run away again or because.....why?

I'm so scared. And tired. I'm tired of things never being easy for me, wether it's love, interactions with friends and family, my job, just existing in my body.

I try to ignore the call but the heat makes it impossible. Sometimes I dare imagine how I'd look after top surgery, I call it to life with my hands. Letting go hurts my feelings like.....like my dad's comments about my body. I wear sports bras under my shirts and I just want to lose my sense of touch. I'm not sick enough to starve myself anymore so there's that too. The fact that my body and most of my mind cannot physically do that to themselves anymore. They want to eat and they want to be touched by this wonderful person, myself and my little pains be damned.

I can look at people and think to myself that I have all of their dynamics and inner workings perfectly figured out and then turn around and be a mystery to myself. Which I think is bullshit, neither is true. I can understand people pretty decently but at the end of the day I know nothing about what lies deep. And sometimes I do know some stuff. Just like with myself. I think I know what's going on, I'm just being messy about it. And sometimes I don't know shit, but I find out by just fumbling. I know all of this means mostly nothing.

I'm just tired of the constant struggle. Things feel easy so little of the time it's.....it makes me think, naturally, there must be something askew. In me. ADHD or autism or depression again or anxiety like always or maybe I'm just trans or it might be this small ass fucking town and I haven't found my people yet or maybe it's just my personality. It's always "something".

Idk. I think I'm just premenstrual and dealing with YET ANOTHER time of transition. Or I wish I was. Hah

I don't know where I'll be in a couple of months. I hope I make the right decision, I hope I don't hurt anyone.

I gotta go give blood in 6 hours. My god.

#lot of words to say not a lot of things #as per uj

0 notes

hook-line-and-anarchy · 9 months

Text

Gonna be annoying and repost this as an original post since I spent so much time writing it up yesterday, partly for my own archival purposes and partly because I'm a little interested in getting input about city living from Twin Cities dwellers and/or the 3 people who might read this:

So caveat that I was born and raised in a suburban-ish city with a population of a little over 100,000. I’ve spent some time in Los Angeles and to a lesser extent in some other big cities but other than that my experience is limited.

In terms of the pros:

The food was consistently incredible. Probably some of the best I’ve had in my life, and there’s an incredible variety of it. Sushi, Indian, Mexican, seafood, ramen, British pub food, Italian.

I’m a big fan of brick architecture, and there’s not a lot of it where I’m from. But Minneapolis has it in spades. Lots of really cool and differentiated brick styles (I'm not super knowledgeable about architecture styles tbh). St. Anthony main has a neat brick road running all along the river bank. There are also a bunch of other cool buildings, fountains, parks, churches, etc.

I think bikeability rankings overstate the extent to which the city has a solid network of protected bike lanes, but it nevertheless does have a fair number of them, as well as multiuse paths. It also has really wide sidewalks, especially downtown. I saw a lot of people riding their bikes around the city which was reassuring (I'm sure that changes in the winter months).

I don't have any lightrail where I'm from and I'm pretty sure I've never ridden a city train up to this point, so I can't compare to other cities. I have some cons to speak about here too, but in terms of pros, I liked using the lightrail way more than using the bus. There were constant announcements about which station was next, and it was never overcrowded, unlike the buses. My friends and I bought a week-long metro pass to use for public transportation. It was a little unclear whether we activated them properly or not, but nobody ever stopped or inspected us, so I assume we did alright. We also were able to use the buses to get where we needed to, for the most part. There's a big long street that runs through downtown that's only open to buses and bikes, which I thought was cool. We did a shit ton of walking on top of using the public transit, and at least in the places I went, walking was very viable. A lot of stuff is pretty easily accessible from downtown, and by the end of the week I started to have a pretty decent mental map of the place (granted, my brain is very bad at 3d maps and my standards are probably low).

The natural environment, namely the parks and ponds and lakes, were very pleasant. There was a pretty fishing pond about a 15 minute walk from my hotel, and the little park admin building next to the pond had borrow-able fishing poles and tackle. They recognized me immediately as the guy who had emailed to ask about the borrowing program a week or two earlier, and they seemed kind of surprised that anyone knew about it, so I get the impression that it doesn't get used very often. It was very useful though, since my friends don't fish and don't own their own equipment. We even caught a few tiny catfish.

We rented some kayaks and canoes on one of the lakes, which was a lot of fun. We also rented a surrey (one of those multi-person bike karts) to ride around a park near the mississipi river. It was billed as being suitable for 6 adults, but it really didn't have the leg room to accommodate someone over like 5'6 feet tall or so. That park also had a little disc golf course but it wasn't terribly well marked and it folded back on itself in some not-terribly-safe ways.

My understanding is that the weather in Minnesota gets extreme in both directions, but during my week stay it was pretty mild and pleasant on the whole. It got a little humid and mildly hot (like 88 degrees F), but nothing unbearable for me. At one point there was a thunderstorm in 80 degree humid weather. There are thunderstorms once in a blue moon where I'm from but nothing where you can see lighting strike on the horizon once per second for an hour straight. I thought that was really cool. I bet the winter weather would kick my ass though, at least until I got acclimated. I noticed that the train stations had heating.

Mall of America is probably one of the great monuments to American capitalist resource waste, but I have to admit that my friends and I had a fun time playing mini golf and doing escape rooms and roller coasters there. Plus we were able to ride the lightrail straight to it.

A lot of strangers were nice and conversational. A girl sitting on the dock at the pond asked me what I was fishing for, a tea shop lady asked how long we were in town, and a waiter at a sushi place jokingly asked why she wasn't invited to join us on our trip. The people at the park admin building were also very friendly. Actually, a lot of people seemed to wonder why we were visiting.

Cons

There's a lot graffiti everywhere in the city, which tbf isn't really a concern to me but it is something I noticed.

I was staying in a hotel in the downtown area, which was convenient, but I don't think a day went by where someone didn't ask us for money. That by itself I wouldn't mind ofc, but a lot of them were kind of forceful and persistent in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. For example, after my friend gave a guy that walked up to us some money, he called his friend over, and his friend followed us as we walked. Another time a guy yelled at my friend as we walked past. Those people kind of crowded around on the street outside the hotel and by the lightrail and bus stations, so it wasn't really avoidable.

I'm glad the lightrail was there, but sometimes it wasn't very clean inside. Puddles in seats, trash on the floor, mysterious sticky substances.

There was also an incident on the train when we were leaving the Mall, where what I presume to be a mentally ill homeless man was being kicked out of the mall, presumably for existing while being homeless and mentally ill. He got into the car with us and, even though there were a ton of empty seats, took a seat right next to my friend, locked eyes on me, and began loudly repeating a series of nearly incoherent phrases over and over again. Place names, mostly, from what I could understand. He made a motion of shooting a gun at one point. Maybe he was telling his life story or something. I felt bad for him, but it was also admittedly uncomfortable, since my friends and I were trying to mind our own business and have a conversation of our own. It was a 40 minute train ride, and we ended up switching to a different train after 10 minutes or so.

There was one time we got on a bus that was full of older school children, maybe middle schoolers, on top of regular riders. I don't know if they were on a field trip and the city couldn't be bothered to pay for a dedicated school bus, or what, but for like 30 stops we were packed like sardines, with no room to sit, and barely room to stand. Some guy behind me was threatening another guy for staring at him or something, too. Unlike the trains, the buses didn't regularly announce the stop names, so it was a lot harder to use the bus without relying on our phones to guide us. There was a time where the bus driver shouted a bunch of times at a guy sitting at the back of the bus, and we thought there was trouble until the bus driver finally walked over to the guy just to hand him his transfer ticket that he forgot to grab.

Another time when we were walking, a guy on a bike was approaching us from the other direction. Instead of slowing as he passed, he shouted "Full speed ahead!" and nearly plowed us down. The guy walking his dog behind us was also dumbfounded.

Fishing bait is ridiculously hard to procure for a city with so many lakes and fishing ponds. We ended up having to walk 40ish minutes to a specific hardware store to get some red worms. Most places close earlier than I expected, too. The downtown skywalks closed at like 5pm, and the department store Target closed at 8pm (where I live it's open until 10pm, and my hometown isn't exactly a nightlife city).

The city in general, and downtown in particular, felt surprisingly empty. Lots of businesses were closed, and there were very few people walking around compared to what I expected for a city of 400,000. A lady at a tea shop told me it was primarily due to Covid and remote work, and I think some people also inevitably brought up the George Floyd protests. Needless to say I probably don't share my opinions on those subjects with most petty-bourgeois/small business owning types, and I wouldn't be advocating to fill the emptiness with a bunch of privately owned mom and pop shops. But nevertheless, the emptiness does lend itself to a kind of uneasiness, a sense that the city isn't very lived-in.

I mentioned that stuff closes early, but that didn't stop people from screaming their lungs out and revving their loud-ass cars at 3 in the morning.

I also mentioned that the train stations have heating, which was a cool feature, but what wasn't cool was that some of the stations had those slanted hostile architecture fake benches that fail to be benches and only serve the purpose of inflicting cruelty. There are, at least, a lot of other places to sit and lie down throughout the city.

For a city that was recently at the epicenter of nation-wide protests against police violence, the Minneapolis government sure seems to be putting a lot of resources into cops still. I swear there were police vehicles on every other corner downtown, and lots of transit cops too. My friend from Portland remarked that Portland is doing more to rebrand toward social workers, compared to what Minneapolis seems to be doing. This probably goes without saying to people who share my politics but the police presence didn't do much to make downtown feel like a safer place.

For the most part I would describe any negative experiences as uncomfortable, but the one time I felt genuinely unsafe was when my friends and I tried to go to a little asia district on the outskirts of Saint Paul. According to the internet, there's an annual festival that happens there over the summer and we were hoping to check it out (we later learned that it would have happened two weeks earlier than our trip, and in any case it was cancelled this year entirely). The district turned out to be one tiny, and sketchy, stretch of street with like 2 restaurants. We walked around for a minute trying to find the event, and when we turned onto a street directly adjacent to the train station, a group of guys standing by their cars immediately started shouting at us, asking where we're from, and making comments that we "looked suspicious". They might have only been making fun of us, but in the moment it was not clear whether they were genuinely angry that we were somewhere they thought we didn't belong. That was uncomfortable enough, but when we walked back to get on the train after giving up on finding the event, another guy sitting on a bench told us not to be there after dark. Needless to say I don't plan on returning to Saint Paul.

Finally, my experience at the Minneapolis-Saint Paul airport on the day I was leaving to go home was a complete nightmare, but I think that deserves to be evaluated separately from the cities.

Overall, I had a great time with my friends, but I definitely felt uncomfortable on some occasions. Maybe that's down to my anxiety-ridden, quivering-chihuahua personality and the fact that I was raised by conservative parents in a kind of sheltered suburban area. However, right now I don't know if I would feel comfortable and safe living in the city, but maybe I just need to suck it up and acclimate myself and unlearn my prejudices.

#Minneapolis #Twin Cities

0 notes

capturethechaos · 3 years

Text

Stereo [3] - Jake Kiszka

A/N - Is 1:30 am a good time to put out another chapter... meh who cares, I'm just happy at the fact that I managed to do 2 in one day Lemme know what you think of this so far! All the love - H ♡

——— Jake Kiszka x Reader 1332 words Parts: [1] [2] ———

The days went by faster than Y/N thought they would, all of a sudden it was Thursday, and she was leaving on a late flight to get to Austin for the festival.

Her headset was on, and her father was beside her as the broadcast they were doing drew to a close.

"Well there you go everybody, a day early, better than a day late. I've been Y/D/N Y/L/N-" Y/N's father started.

"And I've been Y/N Y/L/N, and thank you for tuning in to the father daughter radio rundown on 101.9 The Studio. I will be back next week for my shows, until then, the lovely Spencer Manning will be taking my spot while I am off to the Austin City Limits festival." Y/N continued.

"Have a lovely evening everybody, enjoy the music, we'll be back with you soon on 101.9 The Studio." Her father said, closing off the broadcast as it slowly transitioned to music.

The two of them took off their headsets and gathered their equipment before heading out of the booth and into the office.

"Well darling, have a good weekend. I know you'll rock the interviews, I can't wait to see them." Her dad said, pulling her into a hug.

"Thanks dad." She replied, giving him a tight squeeze.

She checked the time on her watch and realized she had to catch her flight in just over an hour.

"Shit, I have to pick up Y/F/N and get to the airport. See you on Monday, love you!" Y/N said to her father as she rushed to leave the building. He waved a response to her as she nearly sprinted away, and chuckled to himself when she ran full speed into Scott, who was walking out of the elevator.

—

Y/N and Y/F/N almost missed the flight, but they did get on. The two immediately crashed, and for the duration of the three hour flight they both passed out, leaning against each other.

They were awake long enough after their flight to get to the hotel, where they both promptly crashed once again.

—

Y/N had four interviews on Friday, and she was convinced she spent more time trying to calm herself down after interviewing Miley Cyrus than she actually spent doing the interview.

She also interviewed Machine Gun Kelly, The Backseat Lovers, and Finneas, each with long enough gaps between to watch some of the acts perform.

—

Saturday was very similar, four interviews, spaced out with time to watch some performances.

She interviewed Sir Woman, Modest Mouse, Phoebe Bridgers and Billie Eilish. Suffice to say, Saturday had Y/N and Y/F/N freaking out for the majority of the day.

—

Sunday arrived with light burning through the curtains of Y/n and Y/F/N's room, as heat radiated on what must’ve been the hottest day of the weekend.

Y/N practically slid out of bed and immediately stripped, looking through her suitcase for something cool to wear for the day.

"You should put on that one top..." Y/F/N grumbled, still half asleep.

"You're gonna have to be more specific." Y/N said, carelessly pulling clothes out of the suitcase.

"The button down one with the flared sleeves." She explained, and Y/N immediately knew which one she was talking about.

Y/N pulled on a pair of jean shorts, and grabbed the top, pulling the sleeves on then stopping.

"Buttoned or unbuttoned?" She asked, turning to her sleepy friend.

"Unbuttoned, but put on that cute bralette and tuck the shirt into your shorts a bit." Y/F/N advised, sitting up in her bed.

Y/N followed her directions, putting on her favorite bralette, then putting the shirt back on and tucking it slightly into her shorts.

"Changed my mind, don't tuck it, tie it." Y/F/N suggested. So Y/N switched it and did a little spin for her friend, receiving a whistle in response.

"Now you just have to put on some rings, maybe a couple necklaces." Y/F/N said as she stood from her own bed and walked over to her suitcase to get ready.

Y/N did just that, sliding a few rings on her fingers, and putting on a couple of her favorite necklaces before heading to the bathroom to do her makeup.

She kept the makeup light, knowing she's probably going to sweat most of it off by the end of the day anyways. When she was done, she quickly styled her hair before leaving the bathroom so that Y/F/N could get herself ready.

—

The sun was bright, the guests were buzzing around, and Y/N and Y/F/N were standing under a tree in the press area waiting for their next interview.

They interviewed Mother Mother just after their performance, and they were a fantastic group to speak with, still buzzing from their time on stage.

The next interview was with Tate McRae, and both Y/N and Y/F/N we're buzzing with excitement for the chance to meet the young singer.

—

Tate McRae had come and gone. Y/N and Y/F/N walked to her stage with her after the interview, and got to watch from the front as she performed.

—

Once four-thirty had come, Y/N was starting to feel her nerves set in, knowing that she'd be seeing the boys in less than half an hour after years of not seeing them.

"Here, drink." Y/F/N demanded, shoving a cup full of mystery liquid into Y/N's hands.

She didn't even care to ask what it was, and downed it, quickly realizing that it was something mixed with vodka.

"Wow, that's quite the face you're making." Y/F/N said, laughing at Y/N's reaction.

"What did you just give me?!" Y/N asked.

"Vodka and lemonade." Y/F/N answered, offering her another cup of the drink.

"No thank you, I should probably be sober for this interview." Y/N said, leaning into her seat as Y/F/N set up her camera equipment.

"I can't believe my eyes, is that Y/N Y/L/N?!"

Y/N looked up at the mention of her name to see one Josh Kiszka standing across from her with a baffled look on his face.

"Hiya Josh." She said, standing from the couch.

She was expecting a pleasant greeting, it always was nice seeing Josh. What she wasn't expecting was for Josh to run full speed at her and lift her into a tight bear hug.

"Are you the one interviewing us?!" He asked as he put back on the ground.

"I am!" She replied, taking a step back from the hyper man in front of her.

As Josh opened his mouth to speak, the rest of the boys approached and caught Josh and Y/N's attention.

"Boys, can you believe this kid is going to be interviewing us?!" Josh said, throwing his arm over Y/Ns shoulder and beaming a smile towards his band mates.

"Really Josh, I thought we'd moved past calling me kid, we're the same age." Y/N groaned, but a smile still spread across her face.

"No way! Y/N it's been so long!" Sam said, walking towards her and pulling her into a hug.

"How is this even possible, Sam, have you gotten taller?" She asked as she hugged the boy.

"Maybe you've gotten shorter." He quipped, patting her on the head.

Danny walked over and gave her a side hug, a wide smile spread across his face.

"Long time no see Y/N, how's life?" He asked, giving her shoulder a squeeze.

"Busy as hell Danny, but it keeps getting better." She answered.

Y/N introduced the three to Y/F/N, and as they started to chat Y/N's eyes locked with Jake’s, suddenly she felt like she was eighteen all over again.

#jake kiszka #josh kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner #greta van fleet #jake kiszka imagine #jake kiszka x reader #greta van fleet imagine

93 notes · View notes

ripperdaddy · 3 years

Text

the viktor vector romance path + ending we deserve

Disclaimer: This is definitely something I came up with in my head. There will be a few instances that are solely made up so it can tie in with the “story.” This is purely fictional; something I wished happened if there was a possible Vik romance 🥰 This is based on my general knowledge of the game & Vik’s life. All gifs + images are from my own personal play through, but wouldn’t be possible without the help of the Appearance Menu Mod, found on Nexus Mods by the creators, MaximiliumM and CtrlAltDaz. And the shirtless Vik mod by the lovely samsnak ♡

It would start after completing the Paid In Full quest where you pay Vik back the eddies you owe him.

I feel like realistically, the general player would have to be at least halfway through the story to have collected enough eddies. I would say that a good point in the story where we can begin the romance is that you’ve already established a connection to Alt and have dealt with the VDB’s.

I think it would be a short side quest like River’s. Vik already plays a big part in the story overall on his own, so I don’t think it’s necessary to make his “side quest” too long. His romance would just be an addition to the ending.

And as much as I would love for him to be a bisexual option for both male/female V, if we’re sticking with the game’s standard with limiting partners to only one kind of partner, he would only be romance-able by a female V with a feminine voice.

V: Finally scrounged up enough eddies to pay you back in full.

Vik: Hold on to ‘em just in case - you need ‘em more than me.

V: I’m not taking them all the way to my grave, Vik. Here. And.. thanks again for doing so much work on me ‘thout ever seein’ an enny.

Vik: That’s what friends are for.

Then, there is an additional option for dialogue to trigger the romance path.

V: Friends? I think you’ve been in and out of my body more than anyone else I’ve hooked up with in Night City.

He laughs, with a coy smile. “Well, can’t argue with you there. Why don’t we take some of these eddies and grab a drink. You know, to celebrate. Catch up on old times. Haven’t seen you round here much lately, kid.”

You agree to meet at the El Coyote Cojo tomorrow evening.

You meet around 9 PM and you are welcomed by the sight of Pepe and Vik at the bar.

V: Nice choice of venue.

Vik: Thought you’d like it. Haven't been here since.. well, you know.

V: I miss him, Vik.

Vik: I know, V. Me too.

You immediately take a seat and tinker with a few dialogue options, where you can either have a sweet moment talking about Jackie or some surface questions to ask, like how he’s doing, what kind of drink he likes, etc. But it all winds down to Jackie anyway, where Vik confides in you about his past. Judging by how Vik was so affected by Jackie’s death, and V’s (if you chose the suicide ending), you can tell that he has lost a lot in his life, and keeps his circle very small.

You then achieve an even closer, more personal relationship with him. But, ultimately nothing happens other than the usual, wait 24 hours in game for a text/phone call from Vik to head into the next stage. At least now, you have established the foundation for a future romance.

Halfway through the 24 hour period, you get a text from Vik thanking you for the lovely evening. No reply needed, as he calls you once the 24 hour mark hits and invites you out for another date.

You meet at Tom’s Diner for coffee in the afternoon. It starts off with him apologizing for being emotional the previous night and asks if you’re open to hanging out again and going down to Pacifica to watch a fight with him.

Vik: Hey, V. I just wanted to apologize about last night. I didn’t mean to be such a downer.

V: It’s okay, Vik. We share the same grief.

Vik: I was going to head down to Pacifica and catch a real good match later on today. I was wondering if you’d like to come along, think it’d be great for the both of us, you know, as a distraction.

pssst even Johnny’s rooting for y’all ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Johnny: Hmm, interesting.

V: What?

Johnny: Never thought you'd be going out with this guy.

V: Vik's amazing. And I mean--we basically owe it to him since he practically saved our life.

Johnny: Don't tell me you're going out with him out of pity.

V: I'm not.

Johnny: I know, I can feel you get all mushy-gushy. It's almost repulsive. Just wanted to hear you admit it.

V: Eat a dick, Johnny.

You arrive before the GIM and blend into the crowd.

V: Nothin’ like watching guys beat the shit out of each other to get your blood pumpin’, huh?

Vik: This is a real good matchup, V. This kid’s fresh, young talent.

V: You miss it, don’t you?

Before the fight begins, Vik shares a story about his time in the ring and coming in second in the Watson Boxing Grand Prix.

There’s some extra fun options in the dialogue, you can bet some eddies on who’s gonna win, or side with him. The fight ends, and you two head outside.

Since you’re already out in Pacifica, you head over to the boardwalk (where you would ride the roller coaster with Johnny) and he starts telling you about the last days of his boxing career and how he transitioned from the sport to being a ripperdoc.

You both share a sweet moment with each other, reminiscing about old times and talking about V’s future with the relic. This is where I would see Vik confessing how he feels about you, mentioning how grateful he is for Jackie introducing you to him.

The evening ends and Vik asks you to give him some time to try and dig up some footage from his storage and have you come over to watch. You can kiss him then wait another 24 in game hours before the last quest. Halfway through, he texts you and asks you what you’d like for dinner. You can opt for pizza or chinese.

I haven’t seen or read anything about how or where Vik lives. If I overlooked something, please let me know! But for the sake of the story, let’s say he does actually have his own place that’s now introduced in the game. Personally, I think he has a typical bachelor pad, like a really nice apartment. Not too far from his clinic either. He looks like he would just walk to work. Vik definitely has a lot of money, but he’s so humble I doubt he would choose to live lavishly. As mentioned in the beginning, he typically just “sleeps nights” ever since he was over “being a legend” so I’m guessing his lifestyle is very routine. He goes to work, goes home, sleep. Seems unlikely he has a place like the Peralez’s. It would probably be just the same as V’s but decorated to his taste.

The evening comes and you are over at his place. He’s dressed in just a white undershirt, no exo-glove. You get to know more about his family, how he grew up — scanning things around his place. Then he plays some footage of one of his fights for you, while you two have a conversation and share a beer. As you two sit on the couch, you get close, then have an opportunity to kiss him.

then this is where da sex happen hihihi (ノ・ω・)ノ

The next morning you wake up and you two have a heartfelt conversation about where this is going. He already knows your situation, so I would assume he is very accepting and supportive. And with Vik, he seems like the kind of guy who would still want to be in your life and keep the friendship the same way despite no longer being together romantically. So it’s official. He’s your man 🥵 !!11!1!

Like how River gives you the “fuck the police” tank top after sleeping with him, I think Vik would give you his Night City Devils t-shirt that provides you with a significant amount of armor or some kind of cyberware upgrade that makes you invulnerable for a brief moment while using your hands to fight enemies.

Note: I was thinking of Vik giving V his boxing glove necklace, but because it's part of his character's appearance in the game, I don't think we would be able to essentially "take it" from him - unless he gives you a replica as a keepsake. Which I think would also work.

If you successfully romance, during the rooftop scene near the end of Nocturne OP55N1 (despite Vik’s disposition of him telling you to take matters in your own hands and being a little closed off), you still have an option to reach out to him when Johnny advises you to call a loved one.

V: Hey, Vik. I just wanted to say, thanks for hanging with me, until the end.

Vik: Quit talking like it is, V. Just do what you need to do.

V: I mean, think of it. It’s like I’m heading into the last round of this whole thing.

Vik: Well, in that case.. remember—keep your hands up, guarded at all times. It ain’t over just yet.

V: Heh.. I can feel it, just a few more punches.

Vik: Now look at you - the new welterweight champ of Night City.

V: Thanks, coach.

Vik: Last piece of advice from the coach's corner. Just.. be careful, kid. Remember, I’m with you.

Okayyyy, soooo I’m not the biggest fan of how CDPR gave us two of the same endings (Path of Glory). The only difference is that Rogue’s life is spared. I would have assumed that not only would we get to keep Rogue around, things should have played a bit more differently for V if we took the route of going solo against the corpos. So let’s tweak it.

This specific ending; it should be after getting through Don’t Fear The Reaper where you single-handedly manage to rip through Arasaka by yourself. Johnny goes back to Alt & Rogue is still alive. Yes nobody dies!!!

(honestly this ending can apply to any love interest you choose)

Vik and V are now living together in a lavish penthouse, entertaining an upcoming merc to do their work for them (which is now the current POV of the player.) You were recruited by Rogue at the Afterlife, who told you to visit this couple for a real, preem job.

They give you some vague details about the gig and go on for a brief moment about what you will be doing and what you should expect. Vik emphasizes to you that it’s important you get what they need because it’s for his wife, V, as her life depends on it.

As Never Gonna Fade Away is playing in the background, they tell you to break into Arasaka HQ.

Then the game officially ends.

#cyberpunk 2077 #viktor vector #v/vik #let us romance the ripperdoc you cowards

214 notes · View notes

disease-danger-darkness-silence · 2 years

Text

I have been spending the last four hours switching between googling the cheapest cities to live in where weed is legal and you won't get gang-raped for being Trans-spec, googling countries that will pay you to move there and be a warm body in a village, and considering checking myself in for a 72-hour suicide hold.

I went to my mom, sister, and brother's house and wound up telling them about the situation, which is - we're supposed to be out of here this weekend and we have nowhere to go because our transitional housing fell through. I'm Feeling a lot of Feels because I already have put Kono through hell by rehoming her with my brother, I can't seem to make money to save my life, I'm on a new ADHD med, I'm Tired of fighting life all the time, and I am possibly going to be homeless after this weekend. Anyway.

My sister and I got into a screaming match because I am having a mental breakdown and mom and her kept trying to solve shit, and I talked to three different case workers today with three different areas of expertise, as well as my own searching skills (which are pretty damn good), and none of us has found a solution. I meant it in a, "Hey, could you STOP because I'm already PANICKING and NOT NEAR ANY KLONOPIN," kind of way but instead, I chose violence and said, "What makes y'all think you're gonna find a solution the four of us couldn't?" You know, how you do.

And my sister got snippy, and my mom did a little too but I think she understood more that I was Freaking Out. She understands a little more than my sister does the concept of imminent homelessness and what it means. My sister has mostly had housing guaranteed her entire life. Mom and I haven't. So I think she kind of understood a little more. She was still pissed tho.

Shit came to a boil and I exploded because of some shit my sister said, and I said some shit back, and she said she wasn't gonna help and to get the fuck out, etc. My niece was freaking out during all of this, too - I'm convinced she has PTSD because of her dad, but my sister doesn't believe in mental illness or something nowadays so idk what to do about it.

I blocked her on all platforms because every time I talk to her, I feel like I'm being done a favor to be held over my head, or just bad about myself. And yeah, that's probably an indication that I need to switch up my antidepressants, but she refuses to even take hers. And I was already... Not well, mentally. My mom sarcastically told me that that would help the problem and I responded and she hasn't responded back so I'm gonna just assume I'm persona non grata for the next few days. It's fine. 🙃

When I got home, I had to pee, and when I finished I just stared at all of the pills I have in stock, to manage all of the things that are wrong with Raven and I. I know the right combinations to make me go to sleep peacefully and then just go. I even know what the dosages should be for someone of my height, weight, and drug tolerance. It wasn't good.

I guess I should be thrilled that my gun didn't even enter my mind as a way to kill myself - I don't even want to kill other things with it. It's a threat display, not a means to an end. So... Yay?

Raven was there in the most awesome ways possible. I am not gonna go into that because I don't want to discuss how shitty I was being and feeling but Raven helped. A lot.

So I learned that 1. My sister needs to fix her shit. 2. I need to fix my shit. 3. Guns aren't even on my radar as a suicide method, score one for staying alive today, 4. Raven is amazing. 5. Italy looks nice. 6. I'm fucked.

I'm just... Tired. You know? I'm tired of fighting the system tooth and nail to survive. I'm tired of not being able to work. I'm tired of having shitty knees that are going to take DoorDashing away from me soon enough - the pain I'm in while driving is immense. I'm tired of being in pain, all the time, and of having to just grit my teeth because I dislike narcotics. I'm tired of capitalism making me feel like a failure, and I'm tired of not being able to work hard enough to be a success despite that. I'm tired of being a flake and not being able to do anything by myself anymore. I'm tired of memory loss and being so reliant on pills that make my stomach hurt and being pushed towards dementia early to get a tiny bit of function. I'm tired of not being able to shower every day or do the dishes every evening. I'm tired of not being able to cook because standing upright is Too Much.

I'm tired.

I'm just tired.

#Suicide cw #Pity party ahead

4 notes · View notes

bilbobagginsomebabez · 2 years

Note

I have two questions about your posts on land back, contained here and in a subsequent ask. Firstly, on the speaker system, how would infrastructure maintenance and construction be managed? Would it be possible to maintain, say, a road network without any degree of centralisation? ('Road' here doesn't necessarily mean motorways or large bridges or anything, but simpler networks such as the Roman roads or the indigenous Inca road system). Would there be a need for them at all in such a society?

okay im gonna answer this one first and then look at the other one but only with some HUGE caveats. the first one being that there are better people to ask. I worked in a food sovereignty nonprofit for 6 years, i'm really familiar with this stuff because I existed near it for a good chunk of time, but my actual real understanding of what to do is about right now stuff and it's only in food.

but anyway, i like the speaker system as in it's my actual personal feelings-way favorite. i'm not arguing it's the best system because I'm familiar with like 3 or 4 specific to my area and none of the others. There are a lot of very smart people talking about what elements to include from where and how and what the transition looks like and so much more. like indigenous people who lived in these systems and have phds. i can only give you the smallest possible idea of it, and i have to explain so much other stuff. fuck

okay, starting off: no roads. cars are the worst kind of transportation possible, they're only used because of a hundred years of capitalist exploitation and government lobbying, and if you were using a transport system that made any kind of sense, it would be an electric rail system which doesn't have fucking traffic congestion OR the unbelievable pollutants of a car. this is what we mean by quality of life. you will literally have to walk more to get to train stations, but everything your city would also be wildly closer because no roads, parking lots, parking garages. like think about how much space cars take up. people live in apartments the size of cars in our real world right now. we do not need that shit. think about all the people spending all their time making more and more and more cars and creating car insurance out of thin air and scientists making cars different over and over. no one needs cars, they're bad for all of us. imagine if all those people had been working on trains all this time because trains are actually useful for a lot of people. but no. we got cars bc big daddy ford saw dollar signs. just. really really think about the incredible amount of excess in our society that we take for granted, as inescapable, and it only exists because of land-ownership based capitalism. cities would condense, become more walkable and more livable, like. really get used to the implications of no cars and then we can go on. gonna hit you with the next one. if indigenous americans cooperatively built an urban landscape, it would be fully walkable, self-sustainable, and the buildings would be built different to support food growth alongside human life. like this. whole cities like that very real indigenous land development project.

when you are not living in land-ownership based capitalism, the land--your homeland-- is fundamental to living. people living in different areas have fundamentally different needs based on those areas. your land is your life, when the land suffers, everyone suffers. assuming we're already in landback and functioning on some kind of an america-wide speaker system and everyone has already developed their understanding of their relationship to the land, my assumption would be that areas with fewer resources would probably frequently elect speakers about like food or something they needed. they'd pick somebody go to the closest group who usually has excess food supplies, ask them if they've got any food, if they don't, that group elects a new speaker and then both speakers go off to the next group who usually has food supplies. if you end up with a whole big group of speakers about the same problem (maybe there's a drought!), all those speakers elect a speaker and a council is summoned where that speaker and other speakers for interested groups in the food shortage discuss the issue until a solution is found and then the council disperses and you all go back home to eating and living and doing stuff day to day. i also need you to understand that the majority of human life just lives in a town. a regular town. most don't actually have many issues and they especially wouldn't if they were allowed to use the real land around their homes for their own food.

yes. we would still be connected. "lots of people need to travel to san francisco" is a scalable problem. no one owns the land, you can scale your speakers up and down mutually agree across a wide area that yeah actually i would like to travel to san franscisco and then. start building a fuckin train there. technology isn't gonna fucking disappear, it's just going to be actually used for things people need. people will be set up in a structure to ask for and receive the things they need if it can be given. you know how lightbulb companies formed an actual cartel to shorten the lifespans of lightbulbs so people would have to keep buying them? we could have always just been making. lightbulbs. that last for life. and sure! maybe if your way better lightbulb goes out, you'll have to wait longer to get your replacement bulb. the people living in the land with lightbulb minerals or whatever also need to live on it! maybe the mining process is difficult or damaging and they can only get a little at a time. we'll just have to respect the land and their human dignity and cooperate about it.

i need you to imagine it. really think about it. no one owns the land. we will build systems of cooperation great and small, and because so many people want and need to live with electricity and travel and healthcare, we will build those systems of cooperation and no one will be able to stop us. the capitalists will not be able to stop us from cooperating and meeting our needs. that is what landback is.

1 note · View note