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#i suddenly feel so... alone. and kinda empty. maybe im really lacking sleep. maybe ive had too much coffee for today. a cup at lunch and a
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He... had been listening to me cry for at least twenty minutes over the phone just now
#im feeling real sad today. really emotional. maybe im lacking sleep#i really dont understand... what he sees in me sometimes#and how someone as good as him would like someone like me???#and i feel so awful and mean towards him. i feel like he deserves better#on sad days or days im overwhelmed by how much i feel for him#id think that he could do better and find someone better#why do i always do this to myself#it’s like i feel like i m undeserving of something good??? when it actually lands in my lap#thinking about this makes me cry so much and i just. i just want to talk to him even more and i wish i was with him but we are#half the world apart rn and he’s at reservist and my friends are leaving tomorrow for their thanksgiving break holidays and so is my roommat#e. and my dad just got his appendix removed after being admitted to the A&E and it was kinda a miserable day from noon onwards aft the rain#i suddenly feel so... alone. and kinda empty. maybe im really lacking sleep. maybe ive had too much coffee for today. a cup at lunch and a#caramel brulee latte? thats a lot of caffeine for the afternoon girl!!!! and perhaps that’s throwing my emotions out of whack too#i havent been writing in my diary either. the last i wrote was a month ago when i cried six times in a day from homesickness#i still miss home from time to time but it doesnt make me cry now. and i miss him so much too. we’d be meeting for dinner the day i return#and im so excited to see him!! it’s so near yet so far.. sigh. i really really wish im not so emotional#he took a two hour break in the middle of his reservist work for me to what.. cry and sob and rant and that’s what i do all the time#i cant imagine how he puts up with me. why is he so kind why is he LIKE THAT. it actually literally pains my heart when hes so nice to me#its like a stabbing pain. and i feel guilty. i feel so guilty for unloading all my troubles on him#DUDE I AM AT IT AGAIN. CRYING!!!!! LIKE A CRY BABY!!!!!!!!!! STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#monologue in the tags
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yourjughead · 6 years
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Lockers
Requested from Prompt list: 91 and 100 - Sweet Pea x reader.
Thanks for the request dolly!
A/N: Lot of dialogue and time hops in this, hope its not too difficult to follow. this is also quite long so i couldn't separate the dialogue like i usually do, my apologies.
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Riverdale High had become like a cattle market. The school was at maximum capacity and it was felt easily in the overflowing halls and louder than usual common room. It was suffocating and with the lack of space came sacrifices elsewhere such as motorbikes littering the car park, crowded common rooms and sharing lockers. The latter was what affected you the most.
“Im telling you Fangs, Jones is losing it, it's his fault we're in these uniforms” the two sauntered down the hall before arriving outside locker 216, next to the janitors closet. He crumpled up the paper with the combination and threw it at Fangs, just missing. Students flowed passed the two of them as Sweet Pea fought the lock. Fangs said his goodbyes before leaving the spot you quickly replaced.
“Emm can I help you?” Sweet Pea rolled his eyes before turning to the sound of your blatantly irritated voice about to snap back. His eyes widened and his mouth went dry at the sight of you looking at him like he grew an extra head. He just continued staring before gliding out of your way to the locker. You just gave him a confused smile before tossing some books in on top of the few he had managed to get in.
“Emm Yeah you can take your crap out of my locker” he found his voice again after watching you before handing you back your books.
“its my locker” you threw the book back in, the two of you locking eyes and thus, the love hate relationship began
2 Weeks later.
“Seriously Sweet Pea, stop leaving half-eaten food in my locker, you'll draw mice!” You threw the half eaten burrito in a brown paper bag into his chest.The other Serpent's ooohing at you asserting yourself.
“Firstly, OUR locker, secondly its MY locker I'll do what I want” he was clearly putting it on in front of his friends as he tossed you back the burrito. You purposely let it fall to your feet before exhaling sharply and storming off, Sweet Pea hot on your heels, the Serpents making whip sounds and hollering.
“Wait I'm sorry yn, I'll try and stop doing that I promise”
“Yeah you better you jerk!” you hit him into the chest before retrieving your books from the locker. “Maybe we should just get a mini fridge”
“Or you could get a clue" you rolled your eyes before sauntering off, knowing his eyes were fixed on you.
A week later.
“YN!!!!! WHERE IS IT!?” Sweet Pea shouted at you from the front steps before almost running to you as you got out of your car.
“wheres what Sweet Pea, I don't know what you're talking about” you tried to be as nonchalant as possible but he dragged you by the arm to the side of the school.
“WHERE IS MY JACKET! My Serpent one! I know you took it!” you bit your lip before finally giving in, sighing and retrieving it from your school bag.  
“Okay okay sorry, i was cold after cheer-leading last night, I didn't think you’d care”
“Oh...emm...well I do” he wasn't entirely unsure of himself and couldn't settle on how that made him feel. He took the jacket from you looking down at its worn leather.
“Well I have to wear it to a thing tonight but-but umm I’ll leave it in my locker after if you need to wear it again” he slid his arms inside his second skin, caught slightly off guard the slight smell of your perfume on the collar. The two of you idled to the locker in silence.
1 week later.
“Sweet Pea I thought I told you that you have to ask me before you borrow my books” “Sorry, I had a test earlier and I needed your notes” “What you need is to learn to make your own” you dug through the locker as he had his back thrown against another alongside yours.
“Will you help me? I just want to do okay here yanno? Don't want to be stuck here with you forever” “Oh wow stop with the flattery ill get a big head” you stood smiling, locking the locker again.
“Whatever can you just-” “Aww look, Sweet Pea has made a friend” Fangs interrupted swinging his arm around Sweet Pea.
“Hey wait you're that girl ive seen in the Serpent jacket” he moved from Sweet Pea and seemed to almost square up to you, other serpents gathering.
“Yeah Sweet Pea said I could wear it” you were not even slightly phased by his attempt to intimidate you, you were close friends with Cheryl Blossom, Fangs wouldn't be a problem. Fangs looked to Sweet Pea like he had 3 heads, the group doing the same.
“Emm no I didn't yn” it was your turn to look at him like he'd grown a few extra heads. He felt guilty for lying and making you look bad in front of his friends, he just didn't want them to know he was falling for you.
“See, Sweet Pea wouldn't associated with the enemy. You should really be getting to cheer Northsider, don't trip on your privilege as you go” you scoffed at fangs, grabbing your gear bag and bumping Sweet Peas shoulder as you went.
1 week later
You hadn't spoken to Sweet Pea since, you didn't like the way he changed around his friends. He had tried to make contact with you every day including leaving you notes and doodles in all of your notebooks. He then opened an almost empty locker, the last bell on a Friday sounding off behind him. You passed as if on cue behind him, laughing with Cheryl on your way to cheer.
“Yn what the hell? where's your stuff?” he reached out catching your forearm, Cheryl almost snapping his neck on contact.
“Take a hike urchin boy, she doesn't want to speak to you” you looked at the floor allowing Cheryl to bite back, Sweet Pea biting his tongue as not to offend you further by mouthing off to your friend.
“Okay well could you tell yn that I’m sorry and i really want to talk to her” he look directly at you but spoke to Cheryl, she rolled her eyes before going to speak again, you cutting her off.
“Its okay Cherry, go start training the juniors, I'll catch up” she assured you meant it before scowling in a way only she could and then leaving you both outside the locker you once shared.
“So, emm where's your stuff gone?” he waited until the red headed bombshell was gone before speaking again.
“My car, i was sick of having my stuff vandalized” “Okay okay fair point...but maybe you could put it back and I'll promise i won't draw all over it...as much” he grinned at the little smile you gave, happy to be finally breaking you down.
“I thought you wouldn't want to associate with the enemy”
“Well I mean you piss me off but id do anything for you...even associate with you”
“Yeah well-” “Shit!” Sweet Pea suddenly caught you by the forearms and dragged you back and into the janitors closet then releasing an arm, closing the door and pulling down the little blind.
“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!” “Shhhh shhh sorry please be quiet they'll hear you!” “Who?!” you whispered slightly separating the blind slightly from the glass to see some Junior Serpents joking around in the hallway.
“You have to be fucking kidding me Sweet Pea!” you went to unlatch the door but he pulled you back again, standing in front of it.
“I know I know but I just want them to leave us alone” “We’re not an us! We just share lockers, i wasn't even talking to you two minutes ago!” “Why are you so difficult?!” “Why am i still in this closet should be the real question?!” “UGH!” he caught your shoulders and hauled you forward to meet him. Your bodies were flush against each other as his lips met yours furiously. Your own arms wrapped around his sides and the two of you seemed to melt into each other. He backed you gently against the shelf, moving his hands to your face, connecting his lips to your neck.
“Wait wait Sweet Pea what the hell are we doing?!”
“I-I don't know but I'd very much like to keep doing it” you laughed agreeing before he kissed you again. Suddenly light flooded the closet and you both turned to the now open door, Fangs standing there reaching for something.
“Sweet Pea?! YN?! What the hell is happening?!”. “N-nothing Fangs” Sweet Pea almost left his body with the fright, you deciding you had had enough. “Go away Fangs kinda busy”
“No dude what the hell?! A Northsider?! What about the pact?! No Northsiders!” “Yeah well that was before I left a burrito in my locker!...Well it's been nice seeing you, come back soon!” he closed the door again before Fangs reopened it.“No dude seriously what the hell?!” “No dude seriously what the hell?!” you spoke again more bitterly and Fangs glared before Sweet Pea tried to close the door again, fangs stopping the door with his foot.“Sweet Pea, what, what is going on between you two?”
“We-we don't know right now but I'd really rather stay here Fangs-” he glanced back at you “id really really rather keep doing it-” his voice lowered then “please Fangs” fangs seemed to grumble before stepping back, upset but he hadn't seen his friend like this before. Deciding to deal with him later, fangs moved his foot, the door finally closing. “Don't worry about him yn...ummm but what are we doing…” Sweet Pea finally spoke again once he sure Fangs was gone, allowing a little of his insecurity show. “I dont know, Im not really sure”
“Well maybe we should figure that out, i don't want to mess things up with you, you're difficult enough already” “WELL THEN LET ME SLEEP IN  YOUR STUPID T SHIRTS AND HOLD YOUR DUMB HAND, YOU PIECE OF SHIT”
“WELL THEN OKAY THAT SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!”  you dragged him back into you meeting furiously again.
“Oh and please, please always wear my jacket, its ridiculously hot...especially with that tight little uniform….the only thing that would make that uniform even hotter would be if it was on my bedroom floor” his face darkened and you smirked hard. “Well maybe we should- OH MY GOD I HAVE PRACTICE! CHERRY IS GOING TO KILL ME I LEFT HER WITH THOSE UNCOORDINATED JRS!” you burst out threw the door, Sweet Pea laughing hard at you panicked before you took off out the double doors. Sweet Pea returned to the locker, grabbing some books and then locking it again for the weekend.
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