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palestaticexchange · 10 days

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JUST THE TWO OF US

"Ey, C!" You shout over the fence where your new friend looks at you. She's all suspicious and shit. "Got you something!" Like a big man, you toss the chocolate bar and watch as she snatches it from the air. Primo-style.

"The fuck is this?!" C sneers, eyes glinting with danger. "You got me chocolate? The fuck are you?! Some kind of fägäri?!"

Your hackles raise. A shiver roots you into frozen mud at the unexpected aggression. Yeah, she's aggressive. Maybe the Cuno *should* have expected this. But you were being *nice* for fucks sake! You bought the scrawny little bitch some fucking chocolate! Money's *hard graft* in Martinaise! You're a MANS man: you know this shit... So you stole the 70 Centims from your deadbeat dad while he was comatose, then popped down the Frittte for some choccy.

In the eyes of this lass that's a weak manoeuvre. Time to embellish this shit: Cuno-style. "I fuckin' *stole* that from Frittte for you. Don't be ungrateful to the Cunn!"

Cunoesse cocks her head, bored. "*You* stole from Frittte?" Shit. She doesn't fucking believe you. A mocking whine creeps into her tone. "Cuno snuck past the fatass *kyrpänaama* stood outside? Fuckin' gun and all?"

Sweat prickles against the flannel of your top. No. Not sweat. It's just the lightning. This aint *shit* for the Cuno. You puff out your chest. "Maybe I did!"

C rolls her eyes then hops back. She's gone from sight but you hear her behind the fence all the same. "Fuck off did you."

"I fucking did!"

"No, Cuno," Bored again. "You didn't." The crinkle of tinfoil being unwrapped.

You growl and run at the fence. A tuffet of frozen crab grass bares your weight *just* long enough for you to vault up and grab the top. The wood wobbles and bangs in protest as you haul yourself onto your forearms, hanging half over it.

Beneath, the girl sits in a squat ripping strips of tinfoil from rich, brown chocolate.

"The fuck's your problem?! Try to do something nice for you and you fucking spit in Cuno's face?!" You puff out your chest again, but all that happens is a pressure against your ribs where you dangle. "Fuck you, C."

Her head snaps upwards, pippo catching against the wood. As her hat's dragged off it reveals lank hair. Her eyes are refined fire. "I didn't fucking *ASK YOU* to do that, did I?!" Her lip quivers when she snarls. She is a frenzied dog. "You fucking stupid vittupää bitch! Get out of my *fucking* face!"

You reel backwards, teetering on the fence edge as she lashes upwards. You thought she'd strike you but she throws something: a crushed ball of tinfoil which bounces, painlessly, off your face. Fucking pathetic is what it is.

"What is it you want Cuno? Want a big fucking scene?! Want me to *thank* you?!" She scrambles up and away from the fence, shoving half the bar in her mouth as she turns to face you. "Am I shupposed to-" She swallows roughly, brown-stained spit dribbling down her chin. "-Fucking *suck you off* or some shit?! Roll onto my back and let your limp little-" She coughs, pounding a fist into her chest.

"I didn't say that shit either!" You try to yell but it comes out more a wheeze. *Your* chest is hurting from the fence. "What is it then?! Is the Cuno a fag or does he wanna fuck you? Can't be both, C!"

Her face screws up as if she doesn't understand the question. She licks at her chops. "*How* the *fuck* am I supposed to know?!" She drags the back of her hand across her chin, regarding the sweet sludge before she licks that up too. "My bets on *yes* but that's *your* shit to sort out." Her eyes flick from her sticky hand to you. "And it's boring."

Whatever happened, whatever *barrier* you crossed; her rage is ebbing. You still don't fucking get it. She's just another silly bitch you guess.

"You better not be thinking nasty shit about me Cuno," C growls out a warning. "You've got that stupid fucking face on you get when you're thinking *stupid* fucking shit."

You startle, but play it off as teetering backwards. No sooner is that pressure lifted from your ribs than your FALNs make contact with the crushed crab grass. "Whatever, C." You shove your hands in the pockets of your windbreaker and turn. You don't need her. You'll be *forlorn* and shit. *Moody* like one of those cop-turned-killer types. You'll find a rooftop to stand on and stare into the distance all dramatic and shit.

Behind you the fence bangs as she scales it. There's a wooden wobble, and then a *weird* sound. Crunch. Oh shit. Is she-

As you turn you see her on *your* side of the fence. "The fuck you doing in Cuno's Kingdom?!" Your vitriol comes from a place of fear. She's never done this before.

You yelp as you scramble away, hands flying out your jacket as you make a dash for your hideout. You can hear her chasing but it doesn't matter. You've got your FALNs on. Primo-shit. High concept sportswear. Make a man a god. Three sizes too big. Make a man slip on his *fucking ass* as the whole *faggy* shoe slips around your fucking-

No. NO it's NOT fear! Cuno's not scared of anything, you're gonna-

Oh *SHIT* she's fucking *RUNNING* at you.

It's fear.

You're stunned as your back meets black ice. The white sky glaring bright above you and making your eyeballs throb. Your ankle hurts.

Quick pads slow into a leisurely walk, then she's stood above you. She smacks her lips licking chocolate from the inside of her cheeks. Cunoesse looks *beyond* bored.

Your ankle hurts.

"Real fuckin' cool Cuno. You pull these moves on the security fag outside Frittte?" She has chocolate all over the hand holding the bar. "He probably fucking *gave* this to you. Probably felt sorry for you." She takes a smaller bite this time.

"I told you, I-" You bite your bottom lip. She's being a *real* fucking piece of work today. "I fucking mugged him, yeah?! I'm a hard man! Hard man, Cuno! That's what they call me!"

The girl grins. Unlike normal it doesn't feel like she's on *your* side.

"Who calls you that? 'Cos it *aint* fucking me!" She cackles, spit-slicked globs of chocolate visible on the roof of her mouth from where you lie on the floor. "*Hard man Cuno* robbed the Frittte!" She mocks. "Took the fatass's gun and *SHOT* him with it!"

You snarl. You'll show her. You hop to your feet and- *FUCK* your ankle hurts! You yelp as you fall on your ass.

This only makes C laugh harder. "Holy shit! Are you for real!?" She walks around the length of you, eyes raking your prone form in glee. "How the *FUCK* you gonna claim shit like that if you can't even-"

You won't. You won't. No fucking way. You don't *DO* that pussy shit. It doesn't fucking help anyway. You fucking *WON'T*.

"Are you gonna cry?"

You won't.

A crow caws from the dead tree at the end of the yard. In the distance you hear the MCs making their way to and from the harbour. "Are you gonna cry, Cuno?" Oddly, her bark has lost its bite.

You stare at your feet still resting on the frozen slush. Your right shoe is still on but you've always lead with your left. The trainer's twisted sideways, your toes still clothed but heel exposed and flush to the ice. 'A strong left foot! My boy will be an athlete for sure!' And that's *worse* than being hit. A sudden burst of memory from the time *before* he got shit. Before *she* had to go and die like a stupid whore.

You start to cry.

"For fucks saaaake," C groans, arms dropping to her sides and cursing the clouds.

You don't give a shit. You'll fucking cry all day if you want: this is Cuno's fucking kingdom. Cuno can cry in Cuno's kingdom if he needs to. You cross your arms tightly over your chest and hiccup, still scowling at your feet.

C squints at you. For a minute she just watches you cry, then she drops into a squat next to you. "Eat this, runkkari." She holds the slobbery end of her chocolate bar against your face.

You scowl at her instead of your shoes.

"Huh? What? You want a fucking silver platter or some shit?!" She turns to spit quickly behind her. "Sorry, faggot, fresh out," she says sarcastically. When you neither move nor respond she wiggles the chocolate bar in your face. "My *patience* is running thin, Cuno..." She doesn't threaten you, but the threat *is* there. It's always fucking there.

Good. Maybe this time she'll actually fucking-

"Ugh!" She groans suddenly, dropping the hand that was in your face. "Fine. FINE! I'm fucking *SORRY* okay?!"

What?

"I'm *sorry* I didn't thank you for the chocolate, and I'm *sorry* for saying you wanna fuck me and shit when you're *probably* a faggot, and I'm *sorry* you fell on your skinny fucking faggot ass." She sniffs, then wraps the remainder of the sticky chocolate in ripped, crumpled foil. "So take the fucking sweets, paskapää." When it's wrapped, she leans in and tucks the sticky mess in the pocket of your windbreaker.

What?

"What?" She grumbles.

You blink. The chocolate's burning a hole in your pocket.

"You better not want anything else from me." She narrows her eyes. "I'll go. I'll leave forever."

She won't. You know this now: it's you and her. Cuno and Cunoesse. You're the same; that's why you named her. You smile.

"The fuck you smiling for, freak?! You bust your fucking brain when you fall?!" She cocks her head back and forth, assessing her Cuno for damages.

"Thanks, C." You say, pulling the chocolate from your pocket.

"Thanks..." She spits. "Don't *thank* me, you braindead fuck."

When you pop a cube in your mouth it's as sweet as it is slimy from her spit. Your smile widens.

"I fucking mean it, Cuno! I'm only keeping you around for alibi's sakes, you hear?!"

The crow caws again. There's a bang in the distance as something's unloaded from a crane. The backdoor to the Whirling opens with a creak and the blonde bitch gets one look at the two of you before she turns on her heel and takes the binbag *back* inside.

"I said do you *hear* me Cuno!"

You place your free hand on C's shoulder-

"Hey!"

And use her to pull yourself up, pushing your trainer back on.

"Touch me again and I'll cut your *FUCKING* dick off."

But she won't is the thing. She's fucking crazy, a killer for sure, but she's not *ever* gonna do that shit to *you*. You're *HER* Cuno, and as much as she's a crazy bitch: she's *yours* too.

Cuno and C.

Cunoesse and the big man.

This world is shit, but together the pair of you are gonna fucking make it.

#I *LOVE* these children. In ALL of these I've added a readmore after the first three paragraphs and it still didn't hide the first slur #on A03 I've tagged the work as having 'cuno-typical slurs' lol #anyway we are back and in full swing baybee~ have some traumatised kid bonding #pale static lore #cuno de ruyter #cunoesse #disco elysium

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simcardiac-arrested · 27 days

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im gonna try killing her again lol i rlly like those routes... yayyy shes kicking me to death:) yay yippee.

the tower!!. yippee!! i know her:) i know the least about this route ithink. OHH BIG CABIN !!!!yay shes towring over me :) yippee yay ...!!ohh this is cool i like how the broken is actually like. he wants me DEAD!!!! i like how his .. view of the whole situation is So Strong that he dropped the knife for me thats cool. guhhh buh. OHH THIS IS SO COOL

goddd thats so cool !!! i love it when games do this i love it when youre presented with a choice but its not really !!! this is so cool. i keep saying that but i lack better words sorry .. its swagalicious idk.. goddd the lung stabber !!! thank you hero!!! Man . head in hands . this is so cool . like every choice sounds so cool you know like what if i really do stab her what if i submit . not just here but in every route . so many choices all sound so cool .. mmm ... for now, im .. pledging myself to her .. runs into heavy traffic . HELLO!!!

is she killing him ?? OH MY GODDDD !!!! THIS IS BANGINGG!!!!! WHAT THE HE""""!!! OH MY GODDD D!!!! WHAT!!!! SHES SO SICK AND SWAG !!! goddd . nothing and then everything .. grrr gnawing on wood . IM NOTHING AT ALL???? ?THATS SO OCOL !!!!!!

grrr now i get to talk to the narratr . killing . goddd . grrr !!! the shifting mound is beautiful goddd . all this art is SO cool ... the first ending im gonna choose is leave with her :) yay . god . its so cool . AHHH !!!!! 'i love you' .... SOBS AND WAILS !!!! GUHHH WHATEVER IT IS WELL FACE IT TOGETEHR!!!!! SNIFFLE !! GODDD !! DESPITE OUR DIFFERENCES IVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU ... THIS GAME WANTS ME DEAD ... gnawing on wood . ithink i got all the main endings? got these achievements.. forgor if the 'carve meanings' is an ending . grrr gnawing on wood . god . this games so good . headin hands . im feeding your inbox yummy little treats

ill play more tomorrow, see more of the other princesses . head in handsss !!! i love her . head in hands

yea. head in hands. so much head in hands. This game was made by fucked up ppl

#IM SERIOUSLY GLAD YOU LIKE IT ALL SO MUCH THOUGH AUEHGGHH DOING GAY SHIT TO ME #Like thank u for describing it in detail every part you enjoyed that makes me so happy ….. totally made my morning :D #i love this game and i’m afraid it’s terminalllll #cramswering #slay the princess spoilers #i shuppose #runs circles around you

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