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#i should not be burdening others with my issues... ya'll have your own lives and issues....
mayonaka-sunshine
·
1 year
Text
sometimes i look at things i write and i go "huh. my mental illness is showing"
#vent in tags
#<- just to be safe idk what counts tbh lmao
#GIRL WHY DID I CRY ABOUT SOMEONE CALLING A SONG FROM TWEWY MID FOR AN ENTIRE DAY??????
#why do i keep comparing myself to a houseplant that dies when things go A Little Wrong??????????
#hm. maybe i do need to get myself evaluated...
#i need to get my eyes checked and go see a psych but i! am incapable! yay! <- knows getting a diagnosis can and probably will make my life
#much harder
#pls at least let me see if my eyes r fucked or if i am. pls.
#optometrists aren't that expensive but it's bad to go alone i think :(
#im glad people worry about me but at the same time it makes me wanna die bc like...... no.....
#i should not be burdening others with my issues... ya'll have your own lives and issues....
#bleh. subjecting myself to the mortifying ordeal of being known sucks
#i think its kinda funny that my internet friends always know more about me than my own parents...
#but it's not like my parents ever take an interest in me anyway lmao
#when i said i wanted to study jp i only got a very sarcastic 'good luck' like... i was at least hoping they might offer to buy me something
#to study off of... but they like never take an interest in me anyway lmao
#they weren't even here for my birthday. and made plans over new years without me knowing
#i only learned when i asked to go see my family for new years bc they hold a celebration and this might be the last time i can go
#for like... 4 years. and i don't think i can take myself bc the route is over very windy mountain roads :(
#and i... do not trust myself that much in the car... and it hurts me to drive even the 10 mins to and from school sometimes...
#my knee and ankle get stiff and my hip starts to hurt... its bad :(
#it sucks tho i miss my family i'm lucky if i see them once a year... but its not like the adults give a shit.
#sighhhhhhhhhhh. ugh. my life isn't even that bad by a lot of standards so i feel shitty for whining about it
#like yeah my parents don't really care about me but at least they feed me and haven't hit me since i was little?
#idk man. i should stop talking i think.
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