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a300lbman · 10 months

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Six Decibels of Separation: The Big Lebowski Soundtrack

I can toe-tally understand the cult mentality of The Big Lebowski, a movie that can be both adored and completely overlooked by so many people. “You want a toe? I can get you a toe. Believe me. There are ways, dude. You don’t want to know about it. Believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon.... with nail polish.”

Forget about the fucking toe. This movie is one of my favorites and I am slowly realizing that I have probably already written a fanboy piece about this movie. This is probably due to the fact that I drink when I watch this movie and I write when I drink. This is like a G-rated Burroughs scenario and I am down for a time.

For the sake of argument, I would like to focus on the music in the movie. It is in this comfy space that I think we might all find some common ground.

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Lets start out with some Creedence Clearwater Revival, Lookin Out My Back Door, a classic song, but if you only have a minute and you want something to laugh at, the video above will check those boxes.

Being a huge fan of Santana, I always enjoy the musical backdrop to the punch line of an amazing joke in the movie. If you haven’t seen it, the smashed out windshield and Jeff Bridges visual frustration aren’t nearly as comical, but this loop of the guys riding to Oye Como Va cracks me up every time!

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Nobody fucks with tha jesus. You know this or you don’t, but if you’ve seen The Big Lebowski, you know that given his pedo backstory, tha jesus might not be someone you want to fuck with. In either case, I’d like the share an anecdote from my youth. To properly date myself, I had asked a friend to burn a CD for me and I asked that he put Hotel California on there for me. I ended up getting the cut by the Gypsy Kings and while I might have been pissed at first, I have come to love this version more than any other...

https://youtu.be/61NJnUL7Fcs

Arguably the intro song would have been the poetic beginning, or even end, to this foray into Musical Lebowskianism, but do you see what happens? Do you see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass? The Man in Me is not an appropriate answer to this question, but it does make sweet ear candy for the lazy malaise of the film. Bob Dylan was a chameleon and this song is but one example.

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It is important to respect the classics. While I won’t pretend to have known the song made famous by the Sons of the Pioneers, Tumbling Tumbleweeds has a soothing nature about it and I’m here for it. Add to it Sam Elliot’s baritone twang and you’ve got the setup for an epic movie indeed.

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Impossible it would be to talk about classics and not mention Requiem in D Minor, a song you’ve heard a thousand times and might not know the name. After you rewatch this movie, or based on this musical journey decide to watch for the first time, do yourself a favor and grab a book off the shelf, loop this song and shock yourself at how much better you read with this music in the background. Say what you want, but you’ll feel like a genius. For those looking only for a tune and a laugh, click to watch the scene below and enjoy The Dude’s ability to say ‘fuck it’ better than anyone (sorry I can’t post the video directly, evidently you can only post five video’s per post... probably should have learned that by now).

The Big Lebowski (clip 10) "What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski?"

Well I hope you enjoyed your journey through the musical folly and forte of the soundtrack to the cult classic Coen Brothers film, The Big Lebowski. I would highly recommend it, whether it stands the test of time or not, but at the very least I hope you come to appreciate the soundtrack.

“Look, I had a rough night and I hate the fuckin Eagles, Man.”

#roadrage #a300lbman #the big lebowski #Youtube

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archivelikely · 3 years

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what was so bad about the poughkeepsie tapes?

i dont even know where to start with this honestly like. everything is bad.

otherworldly bad acting from the serial killer guy, for example, amplifies how bad the writing is. like, they stop the movie every 5 minutes to have an fbi agent look me dead in the eyes to tell me how The Serial Killer is the smartest man alive and hes threatening, fully in control, and the most sick violent person theyve ever seen. which is already absurd. and then they smash cut to him on his murder tapes and its just him like throwing a woman around and screaming like an angry teenager on xbox live. talking like chris fleming doing an angry straight man impression. doing nothing intimidating and just generally sounding very pissy and whiny. and then they cut back to the fbi guys like "truly he is a mastermind of the craft... we could never best him..."

the entire script is just. telling you "this movie is / these tapes are soo scary.. its stuff youve never seen before.... youre gonna be so scared... its sooo scary and unheard of" and then its just like. him yelling at women. sometimes he ties them up before he yells at them. dont get me wrong, im glad i dont have to see most of the sexual assault shit or the violence against women, but the contradiction in the writing makes it all feel amateurish and lazy.

like... the scene where he films a girl sitting on a balloon and yells at her to pop it with her ass... is like the first clip of the tapes we get... after the entire intro hyping them up as tapes of the most depraved side of humanity possible... WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO GET OUT OF THAT. WAS IT LAUGHS? BECAUSE I GOT LAUGHS.

and then you have all these people who are like "this was the most realistic found footage movie ive ever seen in my life, frightening" this is . so mean of me but if you thought this was realistic you genuinely might just be dumb (hhhh im sorry but literally). i have seen more found footage than any person in their right mind should ever see, the majority of it coming from shitty amateur youtube webseries, so my bar for believability is LOOOOW. i have seen a found footage movie where they literally FORGOT to edit out the director giving instructions to the actor... and THAT was still more realistic than this.

like what part of this was believable? when they spend 20 minutes telling me how the Killer is too good to be profiled and then immediately in the next scene they profile him? when 9/11 is randomly the climax of this small town serial killer movie?? is it the part where the serial killer walks in on all fours wearing a plague bird mask with a second mask on top of his head, does a little dance, and then just unceremoniously stabs a woman in the neck?

(this was literally the funniest thing ive ever seen in my entire life. king of double-masking, even before the pandemic)

the only realistic thing in this movie is that the police keep hyping this guy up as an unstoppable genius when in reality he and the cops are both just fucking dumb.

(none of this is even getting into the baffling lighting choices, insane editing, or the sound design, either. make note that those are all there, its just harder to talk about in a text format where i cant include movie clips.)

the reason its the worst movie, though, is the subject matter (or at least the subject matter it *says* that its about, since as i said above they dont show much of the actual violence). this movie honestly would be a legendary so-bad-its-good filmé except for the fact that its about the rape and misogynist torture that this fucking loser guy does. including against children. like this is EXTREMELY heavy and serious subject matter so when you fail to treat it respectfully and make a movie about it thats THIS bad i cant even have Bad Movie Fun with it, its just disgusting.

#like honestly id be obsessed w this as a great bad movie if it didnt open with talk about csa that the guy committed..#and wasnt about rape and misogynist violence.#but since it is about that its.. not a good bad movie its just disgusting.#reply tag #csa tw #rape tw

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glitchinthesystemspiderbyte · 6 years

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[35] Glitch in the System - Chemicals & Circuitry

We didn’t have anything ready for y’all, but then @illegalanger dropped a perfect standalone prompt in our lap which means you get a story and we feel better about ourselves (we’re still working through the rest of them too, they’re just taking a bit more time). Enjoy!

A shower happens.

“Dammit.”

Widowmaker looked up from her cross-legged position on Sombra’s bed, briefly detaching herself from the book she was reading to glance across the room at where the hacker stood before the mirror in her attached bathroom suite, attempting to shave her head.

“Problem, cherie?” she asked, slipping a bookmark between the sheets of paper to mark her spot. Long legs unfolding, she slipped off the mattress to join Sombra in the bathroom.

“Just didn’t think too hard about basic style maintenance when I got these installed,” she grumbled, setting the electric razor down and running a hand over the bare spot she accidentally clipped too close to her skull. “Years later and this is still the hardest thing I have to do.”

“Not as simple as hacking into complex corporate mainframes, I’m certain,” Widowmaker mused, reaching up to touch the newly soft fuzz at the back of Sombra’s neck. “Would you like help?” “You want to shave my head?”

Widowmaker smiled, somehow managing to look both endearing and patronizing at the same time. Of all her expressions, the unintentional haughtiness with which the sniper showed amusement was by far Sombra’s favorite. “It is better than listening to you curse for an hour.”

“I try and use a variety of colorful words to keep it interesting,” Sombra said, grinning, and handing over the electric razor. “Good luck. Don’t make it worse.”

“Not to worry. You have set a low bar for me.”

Sombra rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, letting Widowmaker get to work.

“Sit,” the sniper said, pulling over one of the many large chairs in Sombra’s room. “It will be easier for me.”

“Yes ma’am,” Sombra replied, flopping into the big red chair. Widow positioned herself behind her, and Sombra watched the sniper carefully assessing the damage she’d wrought upon her own head. She ran her fingers gently over the growing hair along her part where there was always an irritating, haphazard ridge of spiky hair that grew in whichever direction it chose. Usually Sombra got to it before it grew out long enough to be noticeable, but she’d been lazy lately and it was more than ready to be tamed.

The buzzing of the electric razor pulled her attention back from fixating on the state of her hair, and she winced unnecessarily as Widow pressed it against her scalp.

“Did I hurt you?” she sniper asked, pulling back slightly and tilting her head.

“No, I just always hate the feeling of vibrating metal against my skull,” Sombra replied. It was a fleeting discomfort, but one she experienced every time regardless.

Widowmaker nodded, gently placing it back against her scalp and drawing the blade down in a straight line. “I imagine it would be unpleasant.” She brought the razor flush against one of the curved cybernetics, taking care not to rattle the metal against it. Pulling back, she switched the machine off for a moment to run a finger along the shining pink metal. “I would imagine this was not pleasant, either?” she asked.

“Not really,” Sombra said, shrugging. “Not unless you’re into having drill bits crammed into your skull.”

Widowmaker nodded, resuming her work. She persisted in silence for a minute or two, assessing Sombra’s head with an intensity she usually reserved for the movement patterns of those she intended on killing. “How was it done?” she asked after a while.

“How was what done?” “These,” she pointed at her cybernetics. “How were they installed?” Frowning in thought, she moved the razor down to the back of the hacker’s head. “I have never endured cybernetics. How did it feel?”

Sombra laughed lightly, remembering the day she decided to have the work done. It had seemed an almost casual decision at the time, considering she’d felt like she’d had no option but to have them done. “Like hell, really. It felt terrible. Heads weren’t made to be fucked with like that.”

Widowmaker chuckled knowingly. “That is a sentiment with which I can agree.” “Oof, sorry spider.”

Widowmaker gently smacked the back of her head. “It is fine. I am curious.”

Sombra sat for a moment as Widowmaker brushed the wretched small hairs she’d shorn free away from the back of her neck. They always got everywhere despite her efforts at preventing or brushing them away. She rarely made the effort anymore, but she appreciated Widowmaker’s attempts. Only a shower would eradicate them at this point, and even that was debatable.

“It was weird, really. Uncomfortable more than anything. The physical implantation was done with so much local anaesthetic that I didn’t really feel much, but I felt like I should be feeling a lot, so it was almost the same thing.” She shrugged her left shoulder, Widow’s hand on her right as she reached around her for a hair tie to restrain the longer hair cascading down the other side of her head. “Phantom pain, you know? It’s like your body knows something’s being done to it, and it hates it, so it reminds you that you’re fucking with it even if you can’t feel it by the usual means.”

“Oui,” Widow murmured in response. “I understand this.”

“The weirdest part, though?” Sombra said, regarding her reflection in the mirror. The sniper wasn’t doing too poorly. “Afterwards.”

“Afterwards?”

“Yeah, like once the implants had been completed and the nervewire had snaked its way through the tiny holes the cyberneticist drilled into my skull.”

At this, Widow paused, holding the razor above Sombra’s head. “Drilled holes?”

“Sí, araña. Wire’s got to get in there to complete the neural interface somehow.”

“I suppose that makes sense.” The sniper shook her head. “I dislike the imagery.”

Sombra laughed. “Yeah, fair. Nervewire’s terrible. It’s just a pile of weird, thin silver tendrils until you get it near organic material. Then it moves and wriggles and reaches of its own volition. Like it’s alive,” she shivered involuntarily at the memory. “I mean I’d do it again, but at least I’d know going in that it was going to get weird.”

“I did not realize such a thing was required.”

“It’s needed to bridge the gap between meat and machine. My cyberneticist called it ‘ubermensch ribbon.’ I think she thought she was being funny.” She leaned away slightly as Widow pushed against her head. “It replicates nerve endings and pathways, getting into muscle striations and other areas to complete delicate connections. Feels like someone’s pushing ice water with shards of glass floating in it through your veins, though. If you feel like being really grossed out, you can even watch it winding around under your skin.”

Sombra looked up at Widowmaker pulling a particularly discomfited face, and cut her description short.

“After that?” Widow asked, resuming her attentions under the right side of Sombra’s head. The undercut was trickier, but no one had steadier hands than the sniper.

“After that, cielito, I was fucked up,” she laughed. “It was like every emotion was turned on in my head and I had no way of reacting to it. I’d go from angry to sad to really, really excited in the span of a minute.”

“Ah, yes,” Widowmaker nodded. “I empathize.”

“Shut up.” The spider grinned.

“It was like grasping at smoke, you know? You could see it - it was there - but the moment you tried to hold onto it, it was gone. Sometimes I would just stare into space mid-thought and forget entirely what I had been doing.” Sombra held still as Widowmaker brought the razor around to the side of her head. She always hated the way it buzzed against her ear. “Plus I could feel the nervewire creating new pathways in real time.”

“The brain cannot feel,” Widow commented, raising an eyebrow.

“It wasn’t painful so much as just this creeping knowledge that it was happening. The same disembodied discomfort as when I had it installed. It felt like it should hurt, but it didn’t.”

Sombra shook her head as Widowmaker unleashed her tied back hair, watching the purple ombre fall back into place. “It was even stranger watching as things turned on. First my hard light screen, then wireless connectivity. It took a week for my arm cybernetics to sync with my cerebral ones, but as soon as it did it was like someone turned on all the lights at once: blinding at first, but then I could see absolutely everything.”

Widowmaker ran a brush through Sombra’s hair as she scrunched her curls back into shape, adding a bit of water to form them better. “I suppose I did not realize they were so connected to you.”

Sombra raised her eyebrows suggestively. “I can look up anything without lifting a finger. Direct hardline to the brain means I can think my searches into existence.”

“I can’t imagine that ever goes wrong.”

Sombra winced. “There have been some times.”

Widowmaker stepped back from Sombra’s chair. “I believe I am done,” she said, tilting her head to assess her work. “Does it look all right?”

Sombra stood up and leaned closer to the mirror, running a hand between her cybernetics. “Perfecto. Thank you, that was much easier than doing it myself.” Standing on her toes, she kissed Widow’s cheek. “Now I’ve got to shower all this fuzz off before it drives me nuts.”

“Do you need help with that, too?” Widowmaker asked so nonchalantly that Sombra nearly dismissed it out of hand.

She grinned back at her. “Oh, absolutely.”

*Read from the beginning or check out our intro post! All stories tagged under #glitchfic. Table of contents located here.

#spiderbyte #sombramaker #widowsombra #sombra #widowmaker #sombra x widowmaker #widowmaker x sombra #olivia colomar #amélie lacroix #amelie lacroix #overwatch #overwatch fanfic #overwatch fandom #overwatch fic #glitch in the system #glitchfic

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