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#i sat down and watched the resident evil village like cutscenes
sapphic-woes · 2 years
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:/
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meistwentyinchheels · 3 years
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draken and kazutora with a gamer s/o
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; draken x gn!reader, kazutora x gn!reader
; fluff, slight crack
; warnings: cursing in kazutora’s part, possibly ooc, not proofread, otherwise none
; form: short imagines
; word count: 0.8k
; published: 28.07.2021
; author’s note: hi i haven’t posted in two weeks ahahaha sorry about that so have this thing i’ve had in my drafts for like a week now. also i used dmc and the re series in these two cuz they’re great games and that’s on mf period
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The slight shout of a “Yo, I brought some food” was heard over the sound of a sword slashing at demons and the light “ROYAL GUARD” of a certain white-haired character. Draken noticed that you weren’t responding to him at all and had all your attention on the video game you were playing. He took off his shoes, leaving them at the entrance, and started walking towards you. It was only then you noticed your tall boyfriend’s presence and finally spoke, “Oh, hi Ken! I need to finish this part and then I’ll join you in a second”.
He placed down the food he had brought onto the living room table and sat next to you, staring at the tv screen. He was used to this kind of behavior as you always spent your time inside playing video games and the only time you even left was when he had dragged you along with him. Draken always saw you playing the same games over and over again so he wasn’t the slightest bit surprised when he recognized the character on the screen to be the main character of Devil May Cry, Dante.
“Is this a new Devil May Cry game or have I forgotten what kinds of stages there were?” Draken asked breaking the silence between the two of you. “Oh? You actually pay attention when I keep on talking about it?” you asked shocked at this new information. You only slightly glanced at your boyfriend as you quickly moved your sight back onto the tv screen. “But yes! It’s the new Devil May Cry 3: Dante’s Awakening. It was released just some time ago and I finally had enough money to buy it.”
Draken only slightly laughed at your excitement. He won’t lie, he did sometimes get jealous when you kept on blabbering about Dante and how cool he is. “I’m not that bad of a boyfriend that I wouldn’t pay attention to what you say, idiot.” he voiced out loud. Draken noticed the way your lips curled upwards the moment those words left his lips. That also gave him an idea. An idea that might potentially have you kick him out of your house. He remembered how the scores in DMC are time-based so he decided to tease you a bit. He pecked your cheek only for you to go completely red. You quickly got over it so Draken decided to bombard you with kisses which caused you to smack him on the head with your controller.
“KEN PLEASE I’M GONNA GET A BAD SCORE I WANNA GET S FOR ONCE”
“Too bad.”
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Have a sleepover with your loved one they said. It’d be fun they said. All these emotions swirling around his head, but happiness is not one of them. You, Kazutora’s lovely partner decided to play Resident Evil 4. At two in the goddamn morning. Oh no, neither of you were going to sleep well that night. Kazutora felt dread as he watched you maneuver the player character, Leon, around the village which was sadly full of villagers that are out for Leon’s head. A cutscene plays of Leon barricading himself into a house and how the villagers are working together to kill him.
“GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE” Kazutora whisper-yelled, afraid he was going to wake your family up. “You fucker I’m trying okay” you whispered while smashing a bunch of buttons to get the villagers away from the player character. The church bell is heard from the tv screen as another cutscene plays, but this time the villagers are all walking towards the church. You and Kazutora watch in fear as Leon steps out of the house and says the corniest line known to man, “Where’s everyone going? Bingo?”. Kazutora looked dumbfounded while you tried to suppress your laughter.
“Did he just,,?”
“Yeah, he did” you spoke while trying to keep your laughter under control, “I can’t believe I laughed at that, that was so corny”.  You and Kazutora both laughed at your comment and focused your attention back onto the tv screen. The two of you have played the Resident Evil games together before, but never in the middle of the night so you were genuinely unsure if the two of you would be able to sleep tonight. You can’t just pause the game and save it either as you have to reach a certain spot. “I want to save the game and just continue in the morning so bad right now, but the spot hasn’t appeared yet” you voiced out loud and Kazutora commented saying, “I have a feeling it’s going to get freakier from this point”.
“Which is why I want to save and quit the game you coward.”
“I can’t retaliate cuz I kicked you on the head earlier due to getting scared so yes, I am a coward.”
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© meistwentyinchheels; written by meistwentyinchheels - do not edit or repost
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legionofpotatoes · 3 years
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we decided to watch all story cutscenes from the new resident evil village videogame on a whim, since it’s not really our cup of tea gameplay-wise but seems to be this massive zeitgeist moment that made us morbidly curious. And I know how much everyone cares about my thoughts on things I know very little about, so. let’s get into it huh gamers. and yeah spoilers?
for context, I’ve only played resident evil 4 and a small portion of 5. I also read the wikipedia entry for 7’s plot recently. all this to say I was only vaguely aware of how tonally wacky the series was going in
I also completely gave up following the plot of the mutagens’ soap opera, so that paid off in spades here as you might imagine
anyway so that baby in the intro. that baby’s head is just massive. humongous toddlerdome. when ethan finds the baby’s head in a jar later on. there is no way that head would fit into that jar. bad game design. no not even game design. basic stuff. one hundred years in prison for jar modeler
if I see a single functional hetero marriage in video games I will cry tears of joy. I understand their misery is kind of The Point irt them badly working through the hillbilly romp trauma but like. sheesh. at least set that up as an emotional story goal the plot will help resolve. but nope they start off miserable and it goes nowhere
I know I know the mia thing has a huge wrinkle in it but like. not really in terms of dramatic function?? set up a happy end to the re7 nightmare (miranda can keep up appearances for all she cares) and then take that all away from angry griffin mcelroy for manpain. it will still absolutely work to set up the dramatic forward momentum. why throw in this cliche Hollywood Tension in their marriage if you’re not going to address it oh maybe because it’s normalized as automatically interesting because nuclear families are a self-propagating pit of a very narrow chance at emotional happiness relying on social stigma to preserve their empty function oops my baggage slipped in yikes abort mission
I called him griffin mcelroy because I saw his face on twitter and. yeah. I will continue to do this occasionally. my house my rules
... fuck the reason I’m hung up on this is specifically because the rest of the game is so tonally dexterous (which is a shining point to me! more on that later!), and yet they felt weirdly compelled to create the aesthetic trapping of a family-at-odds trope without following it through too well. a sign of both the good and the bad stuff to come
but listen the real reason why I wanted to talk about any of this is to nitpick the fascinating backwards-engineered nucleus of the entire thing; in that this game essentially creates a melting pot of just SO many disparate horror tropes and then makes a no-holds-barred unhinged effort at weaving thick lore to piece them all together. it is truly a sight to behold. like straight up you got your backwoods fright night situation, your gothic castle vampires, your rural-industrial werewolves, and don’t forget your bloated swamp monsters over there, with then a hard left turn into robotic body horror, and the entire ass subgenre of Creepy Doll writ large, and the bloodborne tentacle monsters, and a hellboy angel bossfight, which rides on the coattails of a mech-on-mech pacific rim bonanza, and just jesus henry christ slow down
almost all of these are textural hijack jobs that don’t really get into the metaphor plain of any of those settings but the game sort-of makes an argument that the texture IS the point and revels in it. It is kind of admirable almost. The same reason why the intro felt boxed in and unmotivated is also why the rest of the game just blasts off of its hinges to the point of complete and self-indulgent tonal abandon. I kinda loved that about it. lady dimitrescu made sure to hold her hat down as she bent forward in mahogany doorways and then suddenly she’s a giant gore dragon and you settle in your temp role as dark souls man with Gun to take her ass down. Excellent??
this rhino rampage impulse to gobble up every horror aesthetic known to man comes to head when the game wrestles with its FPS trappings in what is the most hilarious solution in creating visceral player damage moments. Since most cinematics and the entire game is in first person, that leaves precious little real estate for the devs to work with if they really want to sell griffin’s physical crucible. To wit. This dude’s forearms. Specifically just the forearms. They are MASSACRED throughout the story. The poor man lives out the silent hill dimension of a hand model. by the end cutscene he looks like a neatly dressed desk clerk who had decided to stick both his grabbers into garbage disposal grinders just a few hours prior. like in addition to everything else it manages to rope in that tinge of slapstick violence into its general grievous genre collection except this time it IS for a lack of trying! truly incredible
but wait his miracle clawbacks from everything his poor paws go through are retroactively explained away, yes, but far too vaguely and far too late to console me as I sat and watched everyone’s favorite baby brother reattach an entirely severed hand to his wrist stump by just. placing it on there. and giving it a lil twist ‘n pop terminator-style. and then willing his fingers back into motion right in front of my bulging eyes. this game just does not care. it does not give a shit. and boy howdy will it work to make that into one of its strongest suits
cause generally speaking resident evil was THE premiere vanilla zombie content destinaysh for like a decade, right? and as the rest of the world and mainstream media started encroaching and bloodying its blue ocean it went and just exploded in every single conceivable horror trope direction like a smilodon on catnip. truly, genuinely fascinating franchise moves
yeah the big vampire milf is hot. other news; grass... green. although I do love the implication that her closet is just identical white dresses on a rack. cartoon network-level queen shit
apropos of nothing I’ve said there’s also this hobo dante-devimaycry-magneto man, and I can’t believe this sentence makes sense. anyway he made that “boulder-punching asshole” joke referring to chris redfield and it was probably the only easter egg that really landed for me and boy did it land hard. I have not seen him punch the boulder in re5, mind. I had only heard about how funny it is from friends. and here this dude was, probably in the same exact mindset as me, trying to grapple with that insane mental image. with you on that ian mckellen, loud and clear
I advocate vehemently against the shallow pursuit of hyper photorealism in art direction but I gotta admit it works really in favor of immersive horror like this. the european village shacks especially gave me super unchill flashbacks to my rural countryside retreat in western georgia. I could smell the linoleum dude. not cool
faces are weird in this game. can’t place it. nice textures, good animation, but the modeling template is... uuh strange? and the hair. it has that clustered-flat-clumpy look that harkens to something very specific and unpleasant but I just don’t know what. sue me
griffin’s mental aptitude to take all this shit in stride and end every seemingly traumatizing bossfight involving some fucking eldritch being yet unseen through mortal eyes by essentially throwing out an MCU quip is just. What the fuck dude? I mean that was funny how you casually yelled the f-word at a god damn werewolf that you considered a fairy tale an hour ago but are you like, all right?? it was swinging a sledgehammer the size of a bus at you, ethan
oh oh the vampires are afraid of cold and your last name is winters. I get it haha
Pro Gamer Nitpick: boss fights seemed a bit unnecessarily long?? idk why the youtuber we picked decided the ENTIRE propeller man fight counted towards the vital story scenes he was stitching together, but man mr big daddy lite there really had some get up and go huh??
why are they saying dimitrescu.. like that. is it really how you say that word or is the english language relapsing into its fetish for ending every single word with a consonant at all costs
I’m not saying it’s a dramatic miss of a twist in context of all that’s going on, but the “you died in the last game actually and have been DC’s clayface ever since” revelation is low-key. it’s. it’s just funny to me, I dont know what to say. century-old god-witch fails her evil plan after she mistakenly removes heart from what was definitely NOT just some white guy with eight fingers after all
chris realizing he’s about to become the player character and immediately swapping out his tsundere trenchcoat for the muscletight sex haver sweater
the little bluetooth speaker-sized pipe bomb he taped to his knife was nuclear?? really??? I must have missed something because that is just too good. I buy it though I totally buy it. chris just got them fun-sized nukes in his car trunk for, you guessed it, Situations
anyway this is all for now just wanted to briefly touch on how unexpectedly funny and tonally irreverent this seemingly serious game turned out to be. did not articulate any cathartic story beats whatsoever but my god it had fun connecting those plot points. he just fucking put his severed hand back on his stump and it Just Worked todd howard get in here
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