Supply and Demand: Part 3

“So, Chows, are we gonna be ready to start makin’ our first couple runs in teh next few weeks?”  Tray asked as he and his one-time-time-valet-now-turned-business-partner walked slowly down a weedy, overgrown road between the wild collection of overgrown, Gridanian foliage. “On my end, we will be.” the older miqo’te commented, glancing at his younger companion.  “Once you sign off on the driver I’ve hired that is.  Otherwise, the documents for ‘Moon Shine Deliveries’ are complete, and the wagon and birds will be ready.” Tray flicked his pierced tail and grunted.  “Look, Chows, ain’t dat I don’t trust yer judgment on shit, just, I dunno.  Was a sixteen-year-old kid really teh only driver ye could find?” Tray glanced over at his grey-haired companion and the cane he used to help him along. “From what I’ve seen of his racing skills, and from our conversations, he seems to be exactly what we need:  eager, adventurous, knowledgeable on chocobos, and cheap, like our current budget.” Tray sniffed and wiggled his nose. “I know. I still need to speak with teh Khan an’ Jak ‘bout dis venture but wanted all teh cogs in place ‘fore I did.  I’m hopin’ dey’ll direct some of dem Bluesky coffers towards dis once I explain it and maybe get a solid delivery done so dey can see our profit margin.” “Well considering you implied some of the Bluesky would be acting as security for these deliveries, let’s hope you are right.”  Chows and Tray rounded a bend and could see a collections of buildings in the distance. “Speaking of your yakuza family, how did the Gothic-themed party go the other night?” Chows inquired. “Ugh.” Tray grumbled, running an hand through his dyed-black hair. 

“That well, hmmm?” Chows lightly laughed. “Yeah, dat well’.” Tray started. “I sense a ‘but’ coming on.” Chows mused. “Aye.” Tray nodded as he stepped over a fallen branch.  “Dis lass named Eiai I am acquainted with got drunk and wild.  Was a party after all, nothin’ new.  But she went steppin’ up at one of meh Bluesky family an’ things got tense. An’ I may have threatened to cut off her hand if she ever threatened on of meh people again.” “Fiery disposition.” Chows mused.  “But was to save face.” “Yeah, well based on a chat last night, sounds like I pissed some folks off.” “You? Making enemies? Noooo.”  Chows snorted, almost sarcastically as he chuckled.  “They gonna be a problem?” “The messenger I got last night implied I had burned bridges an’ if I stepped wrong, they would be one.  So meh plan is to just avoid ‘em.  Dey wanna get mad cause of drunken words an’ straight up foolishness, dat’s their waste of energy not mine.” “That’s one of the most mature and level-headed reactions I think I’ve ever heard from you, Tray.” Chows commented with mild, pleased surprise.  “Two years ago, you would have been on a war path.” “Well, I’ve done some growin’.” Tray admitted.  “An’ I got someone dat expects better out of meh den dat.” “Well, I have expected better for years.” Chows smirked. The pair of miqo’te reached the small collection of buildings and headed for a small set of stables that sat on the outside of the village.  The smell of chocobo’s hung heavy in the air as the entered.  A single wagon sat in the middle of the stables.  There were four stalls, one in each corner of the building.  Three of the stalls held a dozing chocobo.  The fourth stall was open and full of reigns, saddles, tools, and a young, red-haired miqo’te youth currently attaching a set of spurs to his boots. “Vren.” Chows greeted the young male warmly and the young miqo’te turned and fixed Tray and Chows with a sheepish grin as he quickly rose to his feet.  “Chows, I, good morning!  And you must be Mr. Estinoch.” Vren said, clearly both nervous and excited as he stood there, holding the boot in his hands.  His nervousness grew as Tray’s one, blue eye squinted at the younger man.  He could feel Tray’s gaze scanning every inch of him. Vren gave a nervous chuckle and licked his lips as Tray turned to whisper softly to Chows: “Where ye find dis kid?” Tray said, in a hushed tone. “He comes from Vesper Bay.” “Uh huh.  An’ ye clearly have noticed who he looks like...” Tray commented, glancing back at Vren. “Part of why I hired him.” “Any chance there’s a connection?”  Tray flicked his tail. “You tell me.” Chows commented casually and Tray gave him a dirty look. “I see yer game, don’t think I dont, Chows.”  Tray grows softly before turning towards Vren and took a sniff. “So, Vren.  Chows says yer a chocobo racer.” “I am, sir.”  Vren stammered, twisting the boot nervously. “Ye driven many wagons?” “Often, sir.” Vren nodded several times. “Ever been in a fight?”  Tray asked.  Vren seemed a little surprised. “A few, sir.” “Ever killed a man?” Tray cocked his head. “What, no!” Vren blinked in surprise. “Been arrested for any crime?”  Tray’s eye grew more intense. Vren shook his head.  Tray grimaced and looked at Chows.  He was about to speak but Vren interjected. “Sir, look I know that you’re a mostly legitimate business that’s planning on using it to move moko down south.  Chows told me.  I understand I’m not your ideal candidate, but I can make any run faster then any other driver and can tend to the birds better then anyone else.” Tray paused, looked back at the youth with his mismatched eyes and red hair and then winced as he looked away. “Chows, he can tend to the birds. Pay him for that. But I’m not putting a child on these drives when he could get hurt an’-” “Sir, I am not  a child!”  Vren exclaimed.  “Sir, please.  I have no where else to go and need this!  Chows said he’d sponsor my racing in exchange for making these runs.  I’m not even making gil off of this work.  Please, let me do this!”  Tray refused to look at the boy as he looked towards Chows. “He can do this.” Chows said, having clearly taken a liking to the boy.  “He can make our runs -and- help us launder like we planned with his races.” “He’s a child. One who is potentially in harms way in the driver’s seat.” Tray warned. “And you weren’t when you where harpooning whales at his age?” Chows reminded Tray of his own youth.  “I won’t risk another Yimir situation.” Tray hissed.  “Then see too it he has guards on his deliveries.”  Chows replied sternly.  “You hired me to run things here while you do your duties to Bluesky, and I hired this man to do a job and -will- use him.  So you want to see him protected?  Do your part.” Tray paused.  It wasn’t often Chows’ got stern and put his foot down. He was normally willing to let Tray run about freely.  But when Chows did bring out his old, military bearing, Tray knew there was no changing the older man’s mind. “Anything happens to him, dis is on ye.” Tray clicked his tongue as he looked back at Vren, who was still holding his boot, both defiant and nervous. “Alright, kid.”  Tray ran his tongue over his teeth, studying Vren’s features one last time.  “Ye get -one- trial run.  Ye fuck it up, ye come off teh wagon and stay here tendin’ to teh birds.  Understood?” Vren nodded his head too fast to speak and Chows tried not to laugh at how comical it was.  Tray grunted and exited the stables to give Chows and Vren time to talk. Once outside, Tray went for his moko pipe but paused.  He looked down at the pipe in his hand, and then put it away.  He needed to think, not blur.  He had to talk to Jak,and get some guards on the delivery.  It was no longer an options.  He wasn’t about to have the blood of another kid on his hands. Especially one that looked like Vren did.

Fast cars & Freedom: Crazier (15/16)

Luca finds out the news. Frank and sally have news themselves.

Pairing: Colt x Ellie

Rating: mature, but mostly fluff here.

"Am I getting a pony?" Luca's face lit up.  "No honey, it's not a pony." Ellie shook her head

"She wants a pony?" Colt cocked his brow.

"Colt!" She warned, knowing damn well he would give her one.

"Aww man. I really wanted one.  A brown one and I was going to name him chestnut." Luca pouted,  Ellie shot Colt another warning look.

"Can I El?" Colt looked at her hopeful. Ellie nodded her head, knowing he wasn't talking about the pony.

"Luca remember when we went to the doctors and had to do those test?" He started.

"Yeah. Mommy said it was to find my daddy."

"Well, the results came back-"

"Whats results?" Luca cut him off.

"It's an answer.  We got an answer squirt." He opened his mouth to speak when Luca cut him off again.  "Colt? Are you my daddy?"

He could feel the sting of tears in his eyes, happy tears. "Yeah sweetie I am."

Luca sat there quiet for a little bit. Colt and Ellie both nervous, not sure how she was going to react. A wide smile spread across her face as she climbed into his lap, throwing her arms around him. "Can I call you daddy?" Colt wrapped his arms around her tiny frame "Yeah, princess you can." He sobbed,  trying to chuckle in attempts to hide his emotions. Happy tears streamed down Ellies face as her hand absentmindedly rested on her still flat stomach. For the first time in a very long time she felt whole, everything fell into place.

"Hey Luca, your Daddy and I have something else we want to tell you." Ellie grabbed ahold of colts hand. "Well, how would you like to have a little brother or sister?" Luca broke into a wide smile, and a fit of giggles. "Yes. Yes. Yes!" She stood up jumping up and down. "When is my baby brother or sister coming? Can we go to the baby store and get it now?"

"That's not how it works squirt. The baby is in mommy's belly," He pointed to Ellies stomach "Right in here."

Luca looked between them confused. "Well. How did the baby get in there?" Ellie's eyes went wide "Oooook, let's talk about that later. How about we get you dressed and find something to get into for the day hmm?" Luca sighed "Ok, fine." Luca jumped up and ran for her room. "That went well." Ellie smirked as Colt came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and placing feather light kisses along her neck. "It did. How about we go to my, our, house? There's something I want to show you two."

A short while later the three pulled up in front of the beach house. Ellie and Luca in the car, Colt on his bike. Luca pouted in the back seat almost the entire ride because she couldn't ride on the back of her father's bike. They walked inside, the memories of the last time she was there flooding her mind. "I have a surprise. I spent my free time working on some things and. I hope you guys like it. Especially you princess." Colt led them up the stairs, pausing outside one of the rooms. He slowly opened the door revealing a completely pink bedroom,  a castle painted on the wall. Lucas little mouth flew open in Schock, quickly replaced by a giant smirk. "It's like a fairy tail."

"You like it?" He questioned. "Umm yeah! I love it!" She squealed running and throwing her arms him. "Thank you daddy."

Ellie sniffled,  hormones getting the best of her again.  "This is beautiful Colt. When did you find time to do this?"

"Right after the cookout here. I just, wanted to do this. The castle took me some time." He pulled her into a hug. "Wait a minute.  Are you saying you painted that?" She looked up at him stunned. "Yup. Did I forget to mention I'm a pretty decent artist." He smirked, clearly impressed by himself.  "No, you didn't." She grinned as she pulled him closer pressing her lips against his. "Ew, why are you kissing? Are you in love or something?" The small, sassy voice pulled them from the moment. "Yep, mommy and I love each other. And a long time ago we got married. So that makes mommy my wife." Colt leaned down.

Luca shrugged her shoulders. "So is this my room?"

"It is. Why dont you hang out in here a minute and think about how you want to decorate your room. While I talk to mommy." Colt motioned to the hall. They walked to the end of the hall and into Colts room. It was nice, spacious, had a bathroom with a huge garden tub and a walk in closet, French doors that opened up to a balcony overlooking the ocean. The only downfall was the lack of personalization, it looked like nobody lived there, down to the bed set. Ellie shook her head. "What?" Colt smirked, wondering what was in her thoughts. "Not even a picture, would it kill you to decorate some?" She giggled.

"How about you decorate it?" He stood back, arms folded.

"Me? What? Why. Why would you want me to, its your room colt." She stammered.

"our room. I want you and Luca to live with me. I have missed 6 years of her life and 6 years with you." He closed the distance between them, placing his large hands on her stomach. "I don't want to miss one bit of this one. Not the puking,  the pigging out, the peeing yourself." Ellie playfully slapped him.

"Ok." She gave him a genuine smile.

"Thank you." He pressed his lips to hers. "Thank you so much. " he kissed her again. This time with more urgency. "Ugh more kissing? This is going to take some getting used to." Luca rolled their eyes. "So your child." Ellie shook her head and laughed. "Hey Luca,  how about we go to the furniture store, we got a few bedrooms that need some new furniture." Luca jumped up and down in excitement.

Ellies phone went off, a text from her dad saying he was headed back and wanted everyone to get together that night for dinner. Considering she had not talked to her dad about any of the things that had happened,  she felt she should probably let him know.

Colt, Luca and Ellie spent the afternoon at the furniture store. Luca picked out an all white bedroom set, bed a princess canopy, or that's what she was calling it. Colt tried to talk Ellie into picking out new furniture, but she insisted that the stuff they had was fine. She did however, get a new comforter and sheet set, along with some decorative pieces. They had their order filled out and walked to the register to pay. "Thank you Mr. Kaneko, we have a delivery set up for Wednesday." Colt took the paperwork and they headed to the car, getting Luca strapped in before getting in themselves. "What's Kaneko Daddy?" Colt smiled wide, he would never get tired of hearing her call him that. "Kaneko is my last name, well our last name. Your name is Luca Kaneko now princess."

"I thought my name was Luca Martin."

"It was, but I had our last names changed to match daddy." Ellie chimed in.

"Ok. I like kaneko." Colt chuckled, "you know Our last name has a pretty cool meaning."

"It does?"

"Yeah. It means Golden Child." He stated. Ellie smiled,  she remembered when he had told her that long ago.

*******

Colt pulled her into to kitchen area of the garage, lifting her up onto the counter, pressing his lips lips against hers, his hands all over her body. "Colt. Someone could walk right in here and see us." She pulled away. "So. Let them see. Let everyone see how you fall apart at my touch." He slid his hand up her bare thigh. "Colt!" She yelped as his hand slipped under her shorts. "Does Kaneko stand for arrogant tease?" She jumped down rolling her eyes. "No." He grabbed her hand, pulling her against him "it means Golden child actually." Ellie couldn't help smile, with Colt genuine moments came so far and few, unless it were just the two of them, nobody around to overhear or walk in. "Its fitting." She cupped his cheek with her hand, he leaned into her touch. Colt had had girlfriends before, he had his fair share of women, but Ellie meant more to him then anyone, she had the power to bring him to his knees with just one touch.

*****

"We should probably head to your dads." Colt pulled her from her thoughts. "Yeah, I wanna get there before everyone else does, we have a lot to tell him." She agreed as Colt drove her car towards her dads.

"Grampy." Luca ran yelling into Franks arms. "Hey peanut. Where you been all day?" Frank looked up at Ellie, walking in hand in hand with Colt. "We went to get furniture for my new room and daddy's house." She squealed "Daddy huh?" He looked to Ellie and Colt. "Looks like you two have seemed to work things out." He smirked.

Ellie told him how she didn't go through with the divorce, and how she found out afterwards that Colt was lucas dad. She was just about to tell him she was pregnant,  but they were interrupted by the doorbell.

Sally answered the door,  and Logan and stacie walked in. "Uncle Logie." Luca squealed as logan ran over and scooped her up. "Lulu, I missed you." He hugged her. Ellie smiled at the sight in front of her. She was really glad that Logan would be apart of Lucas life, and something told her that he would be just as great with the new baby too. "Hey." Stacie said shyly as she walked up. "You don't have to act awkward stac, I am ok with you two dating." Ellie rolled her eyes playfully.  "Are you sure? Logan told me what you said and I-"

"Let me stop you right there. Yes We have a history, but Colt has my heart. I'll always Love Logan, but more as a friend. So if that's stopping you from seeing where things go with a really, really great guy. Well then you're and idiot." Ellie smirked as she hugged stacie.

The group sat down to dinner, laughing and joking. Ellie could not wipe the smile off her face, her father was happy with sally, you just see how much they loved each other. Logan and Stacie were a little more subtle, but you could definitely see the chemistry they had, and she was happy for them both. She looked next to her, Luca sitting next to colt stealthily putting her lima beans onto her father's plate while she didn't think he was looking.  Colt pushing them right back, when Luca wasn't looking. She was his child, through and through, she should have known, it was all right in front of her she was just too blind to see it.

After dinner they cleaned up and sat in the living room relaxing, when Frank and Sally stood up in front of everyone. "If I could have everyone's attention, Sally and I have something we would like to share with you guys." Everyone looked on, excited and anxious.  "Were getting married." Sally squealed, the group burst into cheers and applause. "We set the date for April. We already booked the place." Franks beamed. Ellie jumped up and hugged her father and sally, she was so very happy for him. "So should I call you sis?" Logan smirked as he pulled her in for a hug. "Oh my god, is that weird?" She gasped at the thought. "Pretty we all fall into the weird category." He chuckled.

She spotted Colt from across the room, they wanted to tell everyone their news and what better time than now.  She joined her husband, placing her hand in his.

Ellie cleared her throat "Well, it seems like good news is in the air tonight. Dad, sally we are so happy for you. But Colt and I have some news of our own."

Colt opened his mouth to speak, but Luca spoke up.

"Mommy has a baby in her belly. And they won't tell me how it got there."

"Surprise." Colt chuckled.

After a stunned moment every began congratulating them. The rest of the night they celebrated, Logan and Colt went out and bought ridiculously expensive bottles of champagne to toast, and a bottle of sparkling cider for Luca and Ellie.

She sat back watching everyone around her, thinking back on when this whole thing started, and how far they all had come. She finally had what she always wanted, what she found in the mpc all those years ago. A big family who had each others backs, and loved each other no matter what.  

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@littlemissimaginativerhi

vyvesvi’s long awaited yesstyle review lmao :-)

ugh the keep reading isn’t working on mobile rip y’all sry

>a few Important things:

i just moved into my dorm yesterday so everything abt the pics and reviews to follow is a hot mess + i misplaced some stuff + didn’t bring it to my dorm bc it didnt work out (so i don’t have pics)

I’m not being sponsored in any way by yesstyle, i just don’t think there are enough black reviewers of yesstyle goods (but what does race have to do with anything, you may ask??? well, ppl come in all shaoes and sizes and the overlap between east asian sizes and body types and black body types is um. well. slim. that being said, i’ll give you some deets on me: i legit have no idea how much i weigh but im generally thin-ish with thicker thighs and a tummy pouch; height: ~169 cm, generally a US size S - M/4 - 6))

bc im not being sponsored, im not providing any (affiliate) links, just product names, sorry if that’s annoying

every yesstyle member (you become a member when you buy stuff) gets a reawrds code that takes a % off of my next order and the order that the code is used for, but I think it’s only like. 2% or smthng. message me and i’ll try to unearth my code if ur interested)

I ordered this stuff in two separate, similarly sized orders and the delivery time went like this (#1: ordered on-  2019-07-05 01:33 AM; split into two packages for some reason, received on like...july 22ndish? for some reason the tracking info isnt showing the delivery info. the 2nd part of this order, which was shipped a day later, arrived on the 19th. #2: ordered on-  2019-07-30 10:04 AM, received on  08/20, wasn’t expecting much bc it was shipped from hong kong during the protests but it was basically the same as the first order)

>the actual review part

i rly didnt wanna make a long post so just click for better quality sry lmao

edit: rip the quality if y’all want better photos @ me lmao

Dreamkura - Short-Sleeve Embroidered T-Shirt, Black - L

4/5- weird shape (really long sleeves for a short sleeved shirt, and really boxy too), and if you compare the placement and size of the patch vs. the one in the picture it’s not 100% accurate. still a cute shirt though so it’s fine

I sized up for an oversized look but I probably didn’t 100% need to

the black one is currently unavailable :/

camikiss - Seamless Under Shorts, Black - One Size

5/5- i wear these shorts too much. im wearing them right now. the ultimate safety shorts

the one size was a Risk but these shorts stretch well. maybe dont get them if you’re an XL and above in US sizes though

Lemongrass - Distressed Denim Shorts, Dark Blue - M

4.5/5- better quality than primark which. wow, did not see that coming

you have to cut the button hole (they seal it to show they they’ve never been worn apparently)

the button kinda like...jingles if you shake them vigorously, but it doesn’t happen when the pants are on, so it’s fine. still funny tho

im bad at wearing ripped shorts but if ur not i highly recommend

INKLEE - Round Buckle Faux Leather Belt - 105CM

5/5- kinda cheap but it does what I want which is hold my pants up lol

i could’ve sized down but that has way more to do with me not knowing my waist size lmao

Gwendolyn - Off-Shoulder Ruffle-Trim Blouse, White - One Size

4/5- i bought this bc it made me think “flyy like a butterfly” and all that jazz

it’s not my normal style but i really like it! it’s VERY sheer though

but I also got white so what did i really expect?

one-size was a risk once again but this shirt is pretty roomy, although it’s also kinda short...like not crop top short, but slightly difficult to tuck in short.

i would buy it again in black so i guess that says something

also i have like. freaky long arms (i can wave my hand over my shoulder with my arm behind my back and my elbow parallel to my torso...that’s such a weird description but uh. just know that my arms are long okay) and it didn’t look too indecent at the top to have the sleeves pulled down to my wrists! it’s a win!)

Moon City - Drop Shoulder Cardigan, Black - One Size

4.7/5- smelled weird when i opened it but I washed it and it’s fine!

one size risk but this one was also roomy af

the sleeves fit!!! god bless!!!

Edise - Couple Matching Elbow-Sleeve Embroidered T-Shirt, Black - L & White L

5/5- The white one was perfect and I love it! I sized like 2 sizes up for it to be a oversized but I would say it’s only abt 1 size oversized, if that makes sense? but I actually like it the way it is so cool lmao

3.7/5- the black one was really badly sewn on, but i reported it and got a new one for free so go me go yesstyle! they didnt give me tracking info *i think* and i wasn’t really waiting for it so it feels like it came fast lol

the moon is kinda a more awkward shape in person i think, but the stormy clouds were high quality and perfect!

i really like the material of the shirt!s it’s thick and soft and smooth? i’ve legit never felt a tshirt like that but im into it

DIYI - Plain High-Waist A-Line Skirt, Black - M

4.7/5- im wearing the outfit pictured right now and *TMI* the sewn in shorts are giving me a very very uncomfortably large wedgie tbh

it fits perfectly otherwise though

i feel like it’s one of the cheapest feeling things that i received, but it’s about forever21 quality but for only $11.45 so i’m 100% fine with it tbh

TREEZIN - Plaid Mini Skirt, Dark Blue - M

4.7/5- it’s very cute and fits perfectly! kinda shirt though and there was like 1 loose thread

the brown in the skirt isn’t super noticeable which i don’t really mind...overall i’d say that they lightened the photos considerably, which effects the color of the skirt

no safety shorts but idrc

pretty thick material

the final stretch thank god

Manicotto - Mock Two-Piece Sleeveless Mini Dress, Check - M 

3/5 pretty cheap material. the skirt is true to size, but the top is like two sizes too small (i don’t have that much boob but it was still too much for this poor, poor, top). they come as separate pieces, so i brought the skirt to school with me and left the top at home. im not sure what i would tell someone who wanted to buy this abt sizing, bc of the dramatic discrepancy btwn the sizes.

A’ROCH - 925 Sterling Silver Dinosaur Earring, 1 Pair - S925 Silver - Gold - One Size 

4/5, very cute, VERY small (dainty, sure) and good quality! my only complaint is that either it’s not real silver or whatever it is that they used to make them look gold is something that im allergic to. my ears got itchy

A’ROCH - 925 Sterling Silver Ear Cuff1 Pair - Cross - Silver - One Size

4.7/5, definitely 100% silver. i’d love to wear them but with my move i can’t find either pair of the earrings

they only sell them as 2 of the cross cuffs or 2 of the parallel cuffs which is annoying bc they’re pictured together but they’re good enough and cheap enough that i’d buy the parallel ones in a separate order

Euphrasia - Oxford Crossbody Bag, Black - One Size 

5/5 one of my best buys hands down

its ugly cute but it’s so useful

it has so much storage space for such a small bag

im in love

Jansi - Set of 3: Heart-Embroidered Socks, Black + White + Blue - One Size

4.5/5 i wanted the dark gray that’s pictured but they edited the hell out of that photo so the blue that i ordered is actually the gray sock pictured

really comfy and cute! esp with the tops of the hearts peeking out over the tops of high top converses??? i love it sm

i have big feet and they fit me, so they’d fit most ppl i think

Ashlee - Cuffed Denim Shorts, Light Blue - M

2/5, a horrible disappointment part 1

maybe i shouldve sized up more but the critch area just fits SO BADLY i left these at home

i would return but im not paying for return shipping to hong kong so i’ll donate them

they’re also cute really badly like they don’t taper in at the waist at all

no human person is shaped like that pls ashlee

they get a 2 bc they are shorts and they sent me the right color

Rosehedge - Pleated Mini Skirt, Black - S

3/5, a horribly disappointment part 2

i shouldve sized up idky i didnt

i can actually fit into them and zip them up and everything but it’s so so short that you can basically see my entire safety short covered butt and it kinda bulges between the top of the tiny sewn in safety shorts and the actual skirt

wow thats a weird sentence sorry but you get it

has thousands of good reviews though, way more than anything on this list so that must count for something right?

3 bc it’s kinda my fault

Regalia - Faux Leather Wallet, Black - One Size 

5/5 beautiful lots of storage space but still very compact, would buy again

the “forever young, made in korea” is kinda ugly but what can you do?

Prinsis - Printed Socks, Dinosaur - White - One Size

3.5/5 they’re cute, but the design is so but that you can see halves of it on the front of the sock, which is very ugly

notice how on the site every pic is taken from the side? not a coincidence

they fit fine and are comfy though

>okay that’s it thank god!

>lmk if you have any questions!!!

(@gowon-yyxy)

In My Head - Rafael x MC

Summary: A commentary of MC Jaya’s thoughts during the date with Rafael last chapter. 

A/N: My brain - and by extension Jaya’s - is weird. Sorry. You have been warned. This is kinda bad but idc

Tags:  @chantelle-x0x , @choicessa, @mariamulroney , @drakewalkerwhipped , @thewolvesss ,  @mfackenthal , @srawesleyghuewrites , @topsyturvy-dream , @enmchoices , @gardeningourmet @debramcg1106 , @alesana45 , @meladoridarcy, @blackcatkita , @tmarie82 , @annekebbphotography , @lizk77 , @jayjay879 , @tornbetween2loves , @akrenich , @theroyalweisme , @likethetailofacomet , @sleepwalkingelite , @littleblossom-18 , @ooo-barff-ooo , @drakewalker04 , @mkatschoicesblog , 

Rafael Aveiro: @kennaloverofdragons , @ifyouseekheart , @brightpinkpeppercorn

Jaya FC: Pooja Hegde

Shower? Done. Deep condition? Done. Moisturise? Done. Shave? Goddamn Jaya its the first date, nothing’s gonna happen. Rafael Aveiro is not that kind of guy… And I am not that kind of girl.. 

Standards. Yep totally got those. 

Okay okay, time for the most important part of date prep. Picking the outfit.

What did he say again? Dress comfy.. Comfy, Mr Aveiro, means my panda onesie and Ugg boots. I hardly think thats first date material right there. Unless it was a movie date, and we got to build the PERFECT outfit. 

Think casual but cute. Classy but not like we’re trying too hard. Yep okay lets go. Ooo this dress is cute and it could pair it with those cream wedges... Where are they - NOOO. That stupid chocolate stain from my going away party is STILL there? 

So scrapping that idea. What about that leather skirt… Found it. Okay nope. I look like a hoe in that. We’re going for wholesome not HOEsome here. 

 What do I feel casual in? Pencil skirt? Dress? Jeans? Ugh Raf could you be anymore ambiguous in your description? Don’t you know that girls require a detailed agenda of what we will be doing on the date so we can plan our outfit accordingly??

Oh my god why do I not have anything nice to wear?? 

Ughhhhh I just wanna throw out my whole wardrobe and start again.. I wish Asos had instant delivery like you payed the the thing and it would just magically show up in your closet. I could put together a killer outfit in minutes.. 

Too plain… too boring… I’m pretty sure that should be in my laundry pile… That’s my lab coat.. 

Oh that’s a cute skirt… I’m pretty sure I wore that to the concert with Bryce… I don’t wanna outfit repeat though… 

Does this match.. 

Nope. 

WHY CAN'T I FIND ANYTHING TO WEAR?? 

Everything I have makes me look too short, too fat or like I’m trying too hard. I just wanted jeans and a nice top but evidently that’s too much to ask.. 

 What would Lois Lane wear? Wait how cold is it going to be tonight? 

 …Okay no skirts then. Alright he said dinner so that means no white or light colours coz we don’t know where we’re going so lets just go with jeans and maybe I could go with that burgundy off shoulder top I got last week? Huh.. that actually doesn’t look too bad. 

 Damn I actually look kinda good… Lets hope he thinks so too.

Alright now to give this mane a quick blow dry. Ugh why do I have my hair so long again? I literally do nothing with it but chuck it up in a pony tail… I should chop it off, do a new year, new me thing for spring or something.. 

Okay done. 

Now make up. Think classy and cute. Lets put on some music…. Hmmm.. Bollywood Jams… What haven’t I listened to in a while.. Got it.

Panghat pe aake saiyyan marode baiyaan And everybody blames it on Radha Chhedde hai humka daiyaan, bairi Kanhaiya And everybody blames it on Radha

*Twenty minutes of singing and dancing later* 

 Okay Jaya focus. Focus like your life depends on it.

 Time for *deep breath* Eyeliner.. 

Don’t… make… a…move… Okay that actually looks good. Time for the other one. Don’t… make… a…move… Fuck they don’t match… I’ll just make the other one thicker… Not that thick! Maybe I can use some concealer and make fix… Nope now that one’s too short.. Maybe… okay that looks worse… 

Fuck eye makeup I’m just gonna skip it

Are hoops too much for a first date? Do I subscribe to that ‘the bigger the hoop, the bigger the hoe’ thing…? Maybe… 

Nows not the time for experimenting Jaya. Focus. Now lipstick.. I cooooould go with red.. Who am I? Priyanka Chopra? Oh wait even Priyanka doesn’t wear red… Ok PC don’t let me down, I’m going with nude.. 

Shit is that the bell?! Okay okay, wallet, phone, shoes, I haven’t picked shoes yet! Ugh okay lets hope he doesn’t notice the chocolate stain.

Coming, coming. Oh wow he looks hot. I mean how does he make just a green jacket and t-shirt look good. Remember to speak Jaya. Say hi. Keep it cool. Goddamn Superman, you’ve got one adorable smile. Huh this old thing? Its just something I threw on… in pure desperation and defeat. 

 Omg guys pls don’t make a huge deal of this… I am so getting a roasting when this is over. 

 Please let’s go. Hang on where are we going? This is true. He can’t show me the city from indoors. Guess we’re doing an outdoor thing then...Apparently its a surprise. I can do this whole spontaneous thing.. Yep easy peasy.. so not still wondering if I’ve over dressed but if his outfit is anything to go off I think I should be fine? 

Umm do you know where we’re going? Coz i have no idea. And I hope you’re not taking me some place to get mugged. DONT say that out loud Jaya. Focus on the conversation.. He’s asking you if you like Boston..

God he’s gorgeous. And humble too. So different from any other guy I’ve dated. From any other guy I’ve met actually… They don’t make em like they made you Rafael Aveiro. 

He claims he’s not Superman but this is totally a Clark Kent outfit.. just missing some glasses. I bet he’d look hot in glasses. Does he wear glasses? I need to know immediately. Nope he doesn’t. 20-20 vision… Just like Superman.

WOAH 

I would have totally missed this place if I hadn’t known it was here… or hadn’t had my own personal Superman showing me around. Heh. 

Okay enough superman jokes. 

I don’t even know where to look, the food, the smells, the sounds, the people, its kinda like the night markets back home. And oh my god what is that smell? Best street food in Boston… Yep I don’t doubt that for a second...

….Is it too cliche if I say Indian food? Coz I have been dying for some Aloo gobi since I came to Boston and — THEY HAVE CHANA MASALA!?!? IM TAKING IT ALL SORRY NOT SORRY Subhanu you’ll be out of business by the time Jaya Da Silva is done with you. 

 Wait he knows everyone here? And they know him? Did he like… save everyone in this city or something? 

 Okay wow this is getting a bit crowded, is it too cliche if I grab his hand? Almost… there… Oh were at our seats… Bummer. 

Did he just… pull out the chair for me? Homeboy is earning some major points over here… I am impressed.

Damn he really does know everyone. If that wasn’t so impressed, I’ve be suspicious. Oh wait he’s grown up with these people. That explains it.

Community man.. Family man. Good match.. God I sound like the aunties back in Chennai. 

He’s way too adorable to be single. A sweet guy, who cares about the community and is genuinely kind and smart? Guys like him do NOT pop out of no where… What are the chances he’s got some crazy dark secret.. 

Goddamn Jaya calm down with the analysing. Just relax. 

Crap he just asked me about my community? What part should I tell him? The crazy expectations, the insane reputations to uphold or the life ruining rumours? Lie Jaya. You gotta lie. You can’t dump the truth on him this early on. He’s a nice guy but even he will turn tail and run if you tell him about your m-

Oh our foods here. OMG I apologise in advance but this has got to be one of the best chana masala’s I’ve ever seen. Patti would feel threatened. Let’s see how it tastes. SO FLIPPING GOOD. OH MAH GAAAHH 

Raf I hope you don’t mind if I pig out coz I’ve been dying for Patti’s food and this is the closest I’m probably gonna get and this is pretty damn close.

Is he looking at me enough? Omg is he looking at me too much? Don’t have something on my face? Okay lets subtly move your hand up and.. okay that was subtle enough right? Holy crap I had gravy on my mouth and he didn’t say anything… Maybe it wasn’t noticeable?

Do I prefer a community or my own space? Hmmm… How do I answer this tactfully…

Oh this is nice. We’re picking up a rhythm here. Just casual chatting… He is actually really funny… 

Okay Rafael Aveiro I see you. You’ve got that hidden sass in you that I sure as hell am going to bring out… 

Oh damn I stand corrected, we are already at the roasting phase — more like a slight toasting really but he’s bring up The Grand Bathrobe Incident of two weeks ago. Oh great, I am never going to live that down. But hey if it landed me here I have no regrets...

Wow he’s actually got a bit of green in his eyes. I never noticed that. Why have I never noticed that? Probably because I’ve never been this close to see it…? 

Oh wait I need a mint. All this chicken tikka and garlic I am gonna to do a major refresh if we’re going to do any kissing… or whatever. 

Wait he just gave me a look. What does that mean? Are we going to… no it can’t be. Omg I did NOT wear my cute underwear.. what if we have sex? Nope Jaya nope. No sex on the first date. No matter how cute the green in Superman’s eyes are. 

 Hmm guess not… Anyways

*Later*

No way he likes the same flavour of Skittles as me! He’s already planning a movie night for us? Wait is that a hint at another date? Or was it just a general thing? 

 Wait where is everyone else? Are we the last ones here? Hang on a second how did he pay without me noticing?? Nope I can’t let him pay, I- He’s not hearing any of it. Okay fine I won’t argue but next time I’m paying.

Did he just… ask to walk me home? Can this man get any more precious??? Of course honey you can. Gosh I’m melting right now, this is so adorable… 

Oh my god, our fingers brushed. They brushed again.. And again… Please take my hand, please take my hand. I really wanna hold yours but I’m too socially awkward to do that.. Thank god he got the hint. This is nice… real nice…

Okay that walk was way too short for anything to happen. We’e stopped outside my porch. I am SO happy I ran into you Raf. you made my shitty day so much better. Oh god this is like one of those movies where they stand outside the door for ages not wanting to say anything… I really wanna kiss him. Goddamn he’s dreamy as hell… 

How do I tell him I want him to kiss the life out of me without… you know.. telling him I want him to kiss the life out of me?

He’s gonna say goodnight? Wait THATS it? Just a goodnight and go? Wait I think he got the hint, he’s taking a step closer. Wow he’s tall, I’ve always liked them tall dark an handsome.. His eyes… wow..

Oh my god is this really happening? Does he want to kiss me? Of course he wants to kiss you, you dolt, he’s leaning in closer. Can’t you see the look in his eyes? Why is he waiting… Crap he’s waiting for me.. What if I’ve misjudged this whole — Oh fuck it here goes. 

Mmmm 

Woah.. 

Abshhgkl… can’t… articulate… kiss... too good… 

Breathe Jaya breathe. All tingly now. His arms are so strong… He can leave them around me… He doesn’t have to let go just yet… God he has the most amazing shy smile.. I could kiss him again… and again… and never stop… Do we have to stop? 

Oh yep he wants to stop. Thats…not unexpected… He wants to take it slow remember? Its probably a good thing. I don’t know what I’d do if I managed to sneak him upstairs — out of sight to all my roommates of course — get him pinned up against the wall, inch my fingers up that nice but totally unnecessary shirt of his — I bet he’s got amazing abs too — and just — 

Jaya! Stop it. Stop perving on the nice boy! This is your first date, he already wants to take it slow, lets not ruin this by not being able to keep it in your pants. Now pull yourself together and say goodnight. 

This is like a freaking rom com. Am I in Love Actually right now? He’s actually waiting for me to get in the house before leaving. Chivalry is obviously not dead everyone. Rafael Aveiro alone is keeping it alive. 

Oh fuck my keys, where are they where are they, shit hurry up he’s waiting for you to get in, don’t ruin the moment for me stupid k— Ah finally. 

He looks too adorable to leave out on the front porch. Smile and say goodnight Jaya like a grown ass adult. I really want run over and kiss him. And from the way he’s looking at me, I think he wants to too? 

Nope self control Jaya. This is what we practice in this household. Close the door and go upstair— Oh my god he’s whistling as he walks away. Ahhh does that mean he had a good time? Because I sure as hell did. I hope he asks me out again. Or I could ask him out this time. 

Either way I hope we can see a lot more of each other soon because you are something else Superman. Something else indeed. 

okay so i started working at jimmy johns in early febuary of this year. i needed a job rlly bad and money desperately, just something to keep me afloat and to afford food. what i experienced...i was not at all prepared for lmao. i was sexually harassed, verbally harassed, had my hours fucked with, had management and even the owners of the company who could give a fuck less about their employees, had to deal with my fellow coworkers AND managers being on k2 and other drugs, and the final fucking straw which was getting my tip money stolen from me OUT OF THE SAFE BY A MANAGER. i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

traffic, pedestrians NOT LOOKING WHERE THE FUCK THEY WERE GOING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PPL I ALMOST KILLED CAUSE /THEY/ DID NOT LOOK, we have ‘parking police’ and i legit got about 15-20 tickets during my time there bc that asshole was out for blood and anytime he saw my car, even if i wasnt parked illegally (oh did i mention we had like 3 parking spots all on the street and all with a 2 hour limit (: ) or hadnt been parked in a spot for the full 2 hours. so there was that. 

see when i first started everything was fine. we had good employees who worked hard and did what they had to do. they were all stoners, but whatever i could care less about that. SO. our assistant manager, he was a mess. racist, homophobic, rude, loud. the worst. we would do dabs out in his car (yeah i know but i worked at a fucking jimmy johns) and he would just say the most questionable shit. i remember this one time he saw my phone background was a pic of me and my bf and was like ‘oh you like black guys? what’s your sex like? i bet it’s really good’ and im not gonna go into too much detail here, bc it upset me and its racist,  but he kept going and said some REALLY creepy shit i was like wtf and told him to never speak to me like that again or i would report him for sexual harassment (side note: one time he thought i did report him for sexual harassment and was like “who are you gonna buy weed from now?” LITERALLY ANYONE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.) he would always be like “DAMN THICK’ whenever i would bend over and do everything. I TOLD MY MANAGER AT THE TIME. she  didn’t do anything. AND the owners of the franchise definitely knew bc like...there’s cameras and they can hear everything we say? but no one did fucking anything. and i needed the money bad so i had to stay. of course i told him off constantly. he was white and always saying the n word. just a piece of fucking shit. 

i think the happiest day of my life was when he FINALLY got fired. my manager had to go to another city for a week and help out that jimmy johns bc i guess ALL the employees and managers did a walk out (yeah this happens at all the jimmy johns owned locally in my area i wish i was kidding) and left his inept ass in charge. it took him 5 mins to make sandwiches (FREAKY FAST hello????) he was just a poor manager. but THEN he started using k2 again. and he was a zombie. there was no point of him even being there bc like he would just go to the back of the store and just stand in front of the freezer door staring for like 10-15 mins at a time.i was a driver and didnt know how to make sandwiches yet and this bitch seriously was just standing there cracked out of his mind on k2 in FRONT of customers (and i will say our customers were SO nice at least) takking phone calls slurring his words. it was embarrassing. i rememeber i had 2 customers who had waited almost a HALF HOUR for ONE sandwich bc i was having a panic attack and losing my fucking mind trying to make their sandwiches while he was in his truck getting high and refusing to come in. one of the customers actually gave me a tip and told me i was doing great and the other one was like ‘im so sorry this is happening to you, that guy is  fucked up’. anyway, he passed out on k2 in his truck one night and got the cops called on him and got banned from the property :) i still saw him from time to time and he looked disgusting & miserable and it made me so happy. 

mostly we just had grown ass employees, fucking 30 year olds, just acting like children. always on drugs. i had one coworker pretend to slap my ass and i called him out and he was like ‘it’s a joke im not apologizing’. people would try to take deliveries from me. AND LET ME JUST SAY, not even to fucking brag even slighly but i was the best worker there my entire time there bc regardless of where im working i am giving my 100% every day and no one else there would. but ppl always tried to step over me and did not respect me. we had one coworker who had 3 felonies and one day like 4-5 cops came to our store to tell us to call the cops the next time he showed up for work (surprise surprise he fled bc they took an hour to get to the store despite the fact we were literally like not even 4 blocks from the police station) and he was always high on k2. forever late. day after day no call no show. he had his friend get hired on who would go down to subway and talk shit about subway in his uniform??? lmao and subway called us one day and was like ‘can yall not?’ he also threatened to burn down the store and then my manager (who was always on a power trip if we’re being honest) purposefully withheld his paycheck to fuck with him, because he was fucking with her, so we dealt with him WAY longer than we should have? 

then this one bitch that became manager, SOMEHOW, we were seriously always that desperate for staff and we hire anyone bc the managers are overworked af and just want to take the load off. anyway, SHE was always high on k2 as well. and she would always overshare rlly traumatic personal things from her life to me and all the customers and its like....girl we dont wanna hear that pls try and get some help. she was not currently being abused, i wanna specify. she was talking about things from her past. i sympathized with her but like im a victim of dv too lmao i dont wanna see your bruises without being asked first. and then i remember one day i left my money bag there (i kept my tips in it and had like $37 in there or something) and this bitch who was making MORE MONEY THAN ME seriously fucking went into the safe (we caught her on camera lmao) and stole that money out of my bag and left a few bills to make it seem less suspicious i guess??? lied about it to my face? then quit bc she ‘wasnt gonna sit there and be accused of something i didnt do’ like ok lmao

then to top it all off at one point my old manager just stopped giving a fuck and the store went to shit and we got complaint after complaint and she started being so rude to all of her staff, including myself (and we were like besties so i was devastated) and she cut my hours when she was submitting our work times for the checks because i would clock in early to help out....LIKE SHE ASKED? and it was just everything i said to her...her response was just the most rude and hateful voice and just....it was so rude. i cried every single day after work. she eventually got replaced and then quit 

but then this new manager, whom i loved, was very depressed and just had a lot wrong with him mentally but he was still very....drama starting and attention seeking. he would talk about suicide nonstop 24/7 and not to be callous but it just made me so uncomfortable and triggered me so much? they did overwork him and i will attest and agree to that and he had a lot on his shoulders but he couldve gone to mcdonalds literally any day and gotten a job with better hours, better pay, and better benefits. i kept telling him over and over to leave bc he had so much managerial experience he couldve been hired anywhere! all resteraunts down here are perpetually hiring, especially for managers! i would know bc i was looking for another job lmao. but he’d text me every night saying things like ‘well lets hope i drink myself to death’ ‘suicide is painless’ etc. and it was just......VERY uncomfortable for me, as someone who has attempted suicide and still struggles with ideation from time to time lmao it was just the most triggering environment ever 

like idk how i lasted that long but i worked my ass off, saved up my money, have a good paying job and im trying my best to forget this entire experience (honestly i did have some good times) but i really dont....think i can lmao 

ON A POSTIVE NOTE: we had some of the kindest and most caring customers ive ever had in my life. i was shocked. but the amount of times i had a shitty customer in my entire time there i can count on one hand lmao like....even when they were shitty they were like ‘im sorry i know yall work hard and everything’ like i miss my customers SO MUCH because we actually had relationships with them and shit and ugh god. if the customers were shitty tho i would never have kept this job lmfao 

i stayed at this job simply bc i made enough money for rent and my bills perfectly and it was one of the few jobs where i was paid an hourly wage + tips. and i wanted my next job to be a job in my field. that’s why i stuck around so long, it took some time to do that.

so yeah theres my mess i love anyone who read this and you can have my first born and be the beneficiary to my life insurance when i die

oh BOY! well. look. i know a lot of people really loved it and that is great. we are all different beautiful snowflakes and there’s no such thing as a Good movie because every movie’s “quality” is dependent on the circumstances of its viewer etc. AND maybe it depends on how much the original meant to you: every time a familiar line was delivered differently I winced, even if the delivery was good, because i love 1991 BATB so much and watched it so many times as a kid that it makes it hard for me to be objective. So if you didn’t feel that way about the real version, you might not be so harsh.

but haha, i H A T E D it.

Let’s start with the things I DID like, because there are not many of them and it will be easier!

Luke Evans KILLED IT as Gaston. He’s having a great time, has a voice, and can really communicate the combo of comic grossness, physical menace and real charisma that makes the original Gaston so effective. If I could have enjoyed any of the musical numbers (more on this Later), it would probably have been his.

Ian McKellen is a colossal value add to literally anything he’s in and this is no exception. It’s probably the only case in which the creepy, expressionless design of the objects (MORE ON THIS LATER!) actually is a plus, because all that richness and expression coming out of a lil beady eyed shoebox is hilarious.

I mean, Audra McDonald. Audra McDonald. Although I might have to say her staggering talent is actually a blow to the movie as a whole, because every scene she’s in magnifies the mediocrity of everyone else. They even make her sing a duet with autotune Emma Watson (MORE....ON THIS.......LATER), which is TRULY embarrassing to watch. 

Did I mention what a relief it was to be attracted to Human Beast? A nice change from Damn U Glen Keane, What Are These Feelings U Made Me Have, I Was Only A Child Glen Keane.

haha. ahh

Whereas: I did not want ANYTHING sexually to do with CGI Beast, but how much I wanna F hockey hair Dan Stevens? Is a lot.

And I liked the new motivation for the enchantress -- having the prince be a spoiled party-boy Louis XIV asshole is a lot more satisfying than having him be an 11yo who doesn’t wanna let strangers into his house.

Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s face appears around the same time as Dan Stevens’, which was wonderful, but also terrible, because SHE WOULD HAVE MADE A GREAT BELLE, although i understand she may not want to be typecast. 

Okay. now. What did I hate about this movie? I would say what I hated about this movie was “all but about 7 minutes of it.” Like, I would almost need to see it again to hate it enough, because almost every single frame contained at least one thing that I hated. 

I don’t love the trend of remaking animated movies into live action ones, which is why I never saw Maleficent or Cinderella, and why I should not have seen this movie, hahaha. The adaptation inevitably loses a lot of what feels in animation like magic: the dreamlike quality/suspension of disbelief vanishes and everything has to be overexplained.

So the expressive, graceful objects I loved in the 1991 movie become these awful, clunky Uncanny Valley creeps who cannot make expressions and whom you would not WANT to see making expressions even if they COULD, because you dont want to look at their unsettling faces. Like, Mrs. Potts. Don’t you love Mrs. Potts? Don;t you love Emma Thompson? Two great tastes that taste great together? NO, THEY DON’T, BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

SURE? “We just like doodled a face on there, that’s good enough right? God please let me sleep.” Every design choice in this movie is clearly thought through extensively and yet somehow manages to give the impression of having been turned in 5 minutes before deadline by a frantic, exhausted student who just wants to go home. “Be Our Guest” was just awful to watch. Like, if you gave a 4-year-old some literal candlesticks and had them act out the number by waving them around, they would give those candlesticks 9000x more soul and interest than several million dollars worth of CGI could do. There’s no showmanship. It takes 900 years.*

*which reminds me: when you adapt animation to live-action, the rhythm has to change simply to adapt to physical realities. What can be achieved in animation in a single line of music is going to require more time to do with actual people or CGI figures who have to look like they could belong in the same space with actual people. That means every number has to have ten extra measures of filler instrumentals, destroying the momentum of the songs and making them seem interminable. UGH! Terrible.

Anyway, the design choices ALSO give everything the objects do a new layer of like VISCERAL BODY HORROR. For instance, Stanley Tucci (completely squandered) plays a harpsichord whose keys?? are his teeth????? and during the Final Battle he’s shooting his keys like bullets at the villagers and I leaned over to my buddy and was like IS HE SHOOTING HIS TEETH??? LOL, PEW PEW. But then in the big reveal it becomes clear that HE DID!!!!! HE DID SHOOT HIS TEETH. WHAT????? All the objects turning from people-objects to dead-objects is also an incredibly fucked up scene which, if I were a child, would haunt me.

Speaking of which, this movie introduces like 9000 themes that are physically or emotionally AWFUL, but it doesn’t actually want to deal with them, so they just get thrown at us for 2 seconds and leave us gaping in confusion and horror. 

Like: Gaston fought in The War. What War? The War. He had a great time in the War and now he has some kind of toxic PTSD where he can only be happy thinking about blood and “widows.” Why is this necessary? First of all, it’s fucked up. Why can’t he just be an asshole? He could just have been an asshole!! I spent 5 minutes trying to figure out what the fuck War this would even be, and then about whether “widows” was a veiled rape allusion, which obviously it wasn’t supposed to be, BUT YIKES!!!!

Or: The Beast’s mom died and then his horrible dad “shaped” him to be just like him. There is literally a 2 SECOND FLASHBACK of a child singing to his dying mother, and then it just whams back to the regular movie. WHAT THE FUCK? The Objects -- and the movie?? -- also now believe that they DESERVE to be cursed because they didn’t, like, intercede in this abusive relationship, which makes perfect sense, because if there’s one thing that always works it’s when the hired help interferes with royalty, I guess.

Or: Belle’s mom ALSO died, of The Plague, and the Beast has a magic book that takes her back to her babyhood garrett in Paris, so at first you think it’s like, oh, the book like....reconstructs her memories and allows her to share them with the Beast? It’s like a regressive therapy session but with magic? Sure. BUT NO!!!!! It turns out they ACTUALLY WENT TO PARIS PHYSICALLY and like, RETRIEVED OBJECTS FROM PARIS? ??? ???????? This never comes up again.

Also. Why would you cast people. Who cannot do. THE ONE THING they have to do??? FOR THE ENTIRE MOVIE???? Ewan McGregor is great, but he KNOWS he can’t do a French accent, so WHY IS HE CAST AS THE FRENCH ACCENT CHARACTER?? He sounds like your drunk cousin trying to do Steve Martin doing the Pink Panther. 

Or, more egregiously: Belle. Like, i truly don’t hate Emma Watson. I think she is young and VERY famous and making some mistakes but doing her best. But the child cannot act. She can’t. She can make two expressions and they’re very lovely. She has great eyebrows and when she squints with them you really Feel her Determination. But she cannot communicate, say, Pain, or Wonder, or Humor, or Joy, all of which she is......called upon to communicate. AND she cannot sing???? Fine. Bring in somebody who can!!!! Pull an Audrey Hepburn/Julie Andrews!!!! THIS IS REGULAR PRACTICE! WE DO THIS ALL THE TIME!!!! DON’T JUST AUTOTUNE HER TALKING AND THEN EXPECT HER TO HOLD UP NEXT TO AUDRA MCDONALD!!!!!!!!! IT’S EMBARRASSING. I WAS EMBARRASSED FOR THIS ENTIRE MOVIE. 

Anyway this is 90000 words long and BARELY SCRAPES THE SURFACE of how agonizing I found this movie to watch. BUT, as we were drinking and complaining about it afterwards, we got free tickets to the Caps game and I got to watch live hockey, which was 200x more emotionally involving and compelling than the movie, for the first time!!! So that’s good I guess. 

We've come to a consensus.

Everyone present at the time of this writing will do their best to inform the ones who need the support of a gentle delivery of current events.

The ayes have it.

YOU WOULD HAVE A PARLIAMENT AS YOUR COMMUNICATION SPACE

what's wrong with that? if we all actually do our jobs, so many more of us will be represented

THATS A LOGICAL ARGUEMENT, BUT WHO IS REALLY GETTING REPRESENTED

-wait WhAt?! HoW mAnY oF yOu ArE tHeRe

Oh honey, more than you will ever know. It's gonna be okay. We found each other and that's what's important. We're gonna start introducing ourselves,

*or at least, becoming more clear*

I love all of you so much, thank you so much for letting me in, for being patient with me. I think I'm the host? what iss. @ -o{oo#t?

started dissociating, it felt physically painful. the documenter.

And the enchanting lady is? *turns to tip his hat and wink at the camera* A -name-? Do you honestly think I could have settled on any name? Any singular--yes, Zed is going to sleep. I'm very fond of him. Attracted to him? He is my Adonis. Every inch of his body is particularly unique to his position in spacetime. There will never again be a Zed in which he appears, feels, smells and tastes exactly the same as he does at this exact moment, continued, forever and so on, as far as you know, infinitely. The Philosopher.

Wait, no, the Philanthropist

Wait wait NO, I stand by The Philosopher (for now)

[hold up, are y'all tellin me -- you c'n cawl me your White Trash Sweetheart, get rid of that bracket there, that's for the Host now

she doesnt know if she's the host or not, wibblywoooooo~ teen punk brat? aww man, fuck you you stupid piece of shit

hiiii yeah hi, I'm post-apocalypse punk Mayor (yes, you can call me that, but its aspirational) wow very humble -- golf commentater (now based on ugh this is important remember the actress' name, you look stupid, don't just stand there staring off into space, GET BACK TO WORK

OH YEAH, hi BiTcH --oh he's gone, that's -too- bad. well, as I'm here anyway, we should get to know one another. I'm "sassy black woman" because you're ashamed people will think you're using me just for drama and that's pretty fuckin racist--

I'm Final Form Chie. I started as so many of our seeds do, a poor slave girl, who loses her virginity yeah it's okay to make shortcuts

FOCUS

she gains skills, proves useful to the master, destroys the master (sometimes with kindness sometimes literally depending on what we need at the time)

[I didn't know it was that specific]

I'm mixed, actually, but I'm inspired SO MUCH by Claws. FUCKING REPRESENTATION FINAL--

>nope nope nope, shut it down<

John Cleese?

not exactly. A bit like the entire cast of monty python rolled into one. I'm from the countryside, but I can't say for sure where

woooooo we almost lost her there. she was panicking about losing this productive high, but she pulled through and FOUND THAT RUBI. Small Town Beauty Queen. I don't find it insulting if it helps you remember me. I started as Fern of Charlotte's Web. I keep that mournful lullaby for you. It really changed your path, dear heart. I don't become Miss America or anything, I'm too old by that time. But I love my family so much. You have so much anger

Yes, that's right, Dearie. Maiden, Mother, Crone. We don't think it was intentional but we like the power we have when we cooperate. Yes, we guide ... oh honey, don't cry, it's gonna be okay. no, n-n-no, no, you don't h-h-have to oh no, I really don't want to be here, I wasn't sure what to wear before, oh, I've gotten comfortable and I'm stuttering less. No, I don't think people who stutter in real life have this drastic of

oh, oh my. oh no, I'm still Achates.

Does it really surprise you? Chie and Amaury loved me so much that they couldn't bear to part entirely. They feel loyal to answer when you call on them when recalled in memories; they consider it their duty to fight in sharing our stories! With Pictures!

I don't need pictures

Don't you? you need to sleep, you're exhausted and you have an appointment tomorrow. Please go the fuck to bed. Slightly Extra (okay kinda actually just really ~(EXTRA)~

okay how do I... Ah, I got it. I'm the lucky early gen x mom you both wish you had -- no, we are not combined, sugar tits.

I'm the hardass 70s-80s mom you would have had if you're life was a movie. Well, technically I can mask as any kind of 70s-80s media mom (one of y'all--us! oh, yes, i hear you. I want you to know I would protect you, Kevin. MOM UGH

keep going - the sprites (soot or rainbow, we shift to suit your needs. we might steal your shoes. we are only some of the fae court. crossover unknown cannot compute - PLEASE HURRY. GOOD. I AM THE ROBOT OF THE 80s and --scratch that record

I'm that part of you who knew she couldn't look like Zach Morris and wanted so badly just to be a little boy. You were SO CONNECTED with the host when I was there?

wait, I'm the host

no, you--you are now because writing takes concentrating which you are losing quickly. Hello! I'm Sassy Progressive Upper Class CONCENTRATE, DAMMIT. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. I don't care if I sound like -your-mom. Someone has to be the mom around here!

Someone has to be the mom around here.

Who wrote it?

you are high af.

keep letting your eyes go out of focus, yes you're getting sleepy, think how nice the bed will feel on that aching body. She deserves some rest, the old girl.

My body is a cow? wait, there's more. she shifts to being omniscient for scenes, if a cowsona (oh, yes, Buana and Gaushala and Pirwa ... Gaushala still has an arrow in the heart.

Yes, WoW Chie (Chiela will do.). I was here while you built your confidence to try... yes, dear, you really should sleep. TO TRY GETTING CATRIN AND RIAIN A HOME AFTER being abandoned when some of you lost the "spark" or whatever with Michael. I orchestrated some of the setup. you don't need to know my name. I'm both Italian immigrant/WHOA DO NOT EVEN CONNECT THE JEWISH COMMUNITY TO--NO, We Dont...*clears throat, drinks water*. No, you're not wealthy like Ms. Maisel, -we-, sorry, sometimes I have to pretend. Speaking of pretending, no, kid, I'm not as funny or talented as all the wonderful Jewish actresses (yeah yeah, Italian-American you, whatever his+her names are, we'll get to you later)

oh nooooo they're not sure if they'll fit the stereotype if they get loud but they wanna

yeah, sure kid, we sound a lot alike. we exist in a liminal space in which America (and new york city) (and every big american metropolis)... we can all celebrate our differences

It's alright, you just need to focus. I'm 90s Successful Well Paying Professional (I can be in the late 80s WA>T)

you're just stating tropes you stupid bitch

whale!

MISS PIGGY

LOOK AT HER FAT FINGERS

remember when you -hold on- hold on for me, my love lovely?

~do you wanna be my lover, gotta get wit my friends, make it last forever cause that's the way it is"

some of us havent learned to swype yet, fuuuuuck. you're popular--but not top tier popular 4th grade 4H champion with all the ribbons. you'll grow up (yes it's hard, i want to be a teacher one day. I'm based on Angie. I'm the imaginary life you might have led if your family wasn't so difficult. We should give them credit, everyone's trying their best. Oh, I can take on mom duties when I need, we also have kids in our future. We live in Lagrange (my husband and I, at this point in the line) but we don't make as much as our parents yet, though. Yet. Yes, I know what it feels like to feel content but maybe have some (or a lot of) wanderlust in life. I'm ten or so years older than you, so while our dedication to staying in Lorain County is important to the values we wish to impart on our children (yes we are Christian. We love Sharon with all our heart and we're so glad (there's a small congregation of us, maybe enough to fill a quiet one room cottage on Sunday, God willing. I'm inspired by the Amish women I see selling their wares and replicate "Amish" methods when making food for my family (I'm good friends with The Baker. We watch Steven Universe with you! We're so excited for the movie and hope we get to talk to you about it! I showed it to Chip and Carol, well I keep talking with them about it and they agreed to get around to watching it with me. I want to be a good ally. I'm, you know, only a little bi. I know that's probably inappropriate--oh- okay, oh, my, oh WOW are my hormones nuts. I'm pretty enough but nerdy enough that I'm kinda in a weird middle tier of popularity. Haha, oh, that's funny. I'm part Sunday (we miss her! some of us are so jealous of her we want to claw her comfortable boomer life from her hands.

That's awful. Shame on you. Suffering is relative.

SHE HASN'T EVEN SUFFERED A FRACTION OF WHAT I SUFFERED

Oh yes. You are the raw emotion of what the Host(?) feels when listening to Jekyll & Hyde, but only the certain version claws at our hearts

We salute the departed Host.

I miss her. Many of us do. But she crumbled under the pressure of knowing too much. She remembered too much before she was ready.

Parliament: We [redacted for time] ...salute her memory. She fought well, carried her armor, was ready to take on anything and change the world, even if in a small way.

She's Not Dead.

sprites: {hushed whispers to avoid being heard by parliament} {WAIT, NO, WE ARE NOT THE HOUSE OF COMMONS}

there's a lot of you when you get mad.

@@@@@@ Angie no, please don't put me to bed. I'm gonna be a computer genius - I mean, maybe not genius and did you know colleges could pay you to get a Bachelor's degree, it's called "scholarships", I mean, this changes -everything-!

I love you, Cameron. I came first, but you gave me a perfect form. I help the others feel calm. Community is punk, but is corporate entanglement the final destination-- hey, wait a minute, I'm not done talking!

whoa bitch. I mean, we have to mention joe. want to be him, want to fuck him, His story, too, is tangible to me. maybe we're a package deal now, ha! I'll try to remember the good times more than the bad, for the health of all of us.

SO SAY WE ALL

wait, what the fuck are you trying to say

hey, it's cool, it's cool.

nah it aint cool

STOP IT STOP FIGHTING

let's think about date sugar

Ah. That was a good distraction. but we really must be off to bed.

is this productive?

Love, it's okay to be sad about losing the real Ben. \It's okay to have any kind of feeling at all.

Ladies and gents and nonbinaries and everyone else, please at least get up into the bed to think about flickin the bean. More like taking a bush-hog to a lil baby bean sprout, but whatever. let the rest of us lie down.

night y'all!

:)