#i need a real job lol like ive been so burnt out i have no idea what to do with my life and it's been almost 5 years | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thegongoozlerreacts · 6 months

Text

Dead Plate (Part 1)

hello!! its been a while since ive posted but here i am!!! so this game is Dead Plate created by STUDIO INVESTIGRAVE

i had played one of their games before, Elevator Hitch, and i really really enjoyed it! so im very excited for this new game that theyve released

though, this game is probably really different from Elevator Hitch, because that game was a visual novel type of game while this one has restaurant tycoon gameplay

still, im very excited

i hope i can get all the endings today (but probably not) as always, spoilers under the cut!

i know its literally just the title screen BUT it looks very classy

also the music? its a bop like yo BellKalengar is the composer and sound designer and like yo!! amazing job its literally just the title screen and im amazed already LMFAO

alright then lets begin

lolol i like the way they named the buttons for doing the tutorial, skipping the tutorial or just leaving the game on auto progress time to show up at 5 am then

the art is really cute these characters are really cute too esp the protag

i know its just the tutorial but i am very nervous LOL doing service jobs make me nervous (even tho this is only a fictional one)

bro protag why did u skim the interview thing 😭 is that why u've had 28 jobs in 7 years 💀

ooh interesting the cooks have an order in which they cook meals i need to remember that

wow so theres a lot to do huh theres seating the customers, taking their orders, bringing those orders to the kitchen, serving the food, going to the cash register to take their payments, cleaning up the tables AND throwing out the trash its a lot more than i was expecting,,,, lol good luck to me i guess

so like fun fact im actually not that good at playing games LOL esp this kind of game where theres like people and they have like a happy meter kind of thing going on i wonder if any of the endings will be tied to how well we do during the work day ?? probably

also can i just say that the music is really good i like the kinda jazzy (is that the right word??) vibes going on

it makes me less nervous about serving customers since its very chill LOL

WHY IS THIS CUSTOMER HITTING ME WITH A HARD QUESTION

I HAVE NO IDEA IF WE HAVE TO-GO BOXES OR WHATEVR WHAT HUH ?????

there is a right answer and i have no idea what it is im gonna lose my mind please. ok well lets pick an answer

im gonna go 'no' since the restaurant has a strict menu that changes daily right? so maybe they wouldnt do to-go boxes or ordering ahead and stuff (RIGHT???)

oh phew ok i picked the right one

LOL the banter between the protag and the tutorial guy (i dont know his name)

??? what the hell this customer just left right as i got the food bro 😭😭 have some patience damn this aint a fast food place

now i have to throw away this perfectly good meal (sorry cooks)

oh no now the real game is starting uhh aight alright then lets go

ok so that was like only three customers, i did pretty well but the day's not over yet shdajhsdsakhj i feel like a disaster n it was only three customers LMAO

oh it was only 3 customers for day 1 nice (i got jumpscared by the sound effect for the day ending LFMAO)

ooh green onion rolls,,, it looks good damn now i want to eat LOL

BITCH YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?????? damn,,,,

the music for this area is pretty chill tho

THE BATHROOM IS FLOODING??? AGAIN ?!??! BRO ??? THATS DISGUSTING

the window has a horrible view its just another building

oho? she? who???

bro dont leave the dishes for later thats sooo gross

??? HOW DID YOU BURN CEREAL???? WHAT DID YOU EVEN DO ??

i am appalled at the protag's lifestyle i cant even

so he has not finished writing lyrics and love letters for this girl he mentioned earlier the game is not revealing her name and im wondering why hmm its very sus

sorry im laughing so hard??? its mostly empty except for some cans and the fucking green onion rolls im cackling?? they look so out of place in this fridge LMFAO

bro how are you so bad at cooking that you burnt food in the microwave??? what are you doing???

wait. is his bed the couch???? bro i feel so bad for this guy

he biked through the rain,,,,, and he thought doing it fast would dry him,,, in the rain,,,,, im starting to understand why he somehow managed to burn cereal

he doesnt own an umbrella

aww this is cute thanks boss

he LIVES here??? wow damn his apartment is upstairs thats very cool

LOL protag keep ur mouth shut

day 2 here we go

SHIT HELP I TOOK TOO LONG ONE OF THE CUSTOMERS LEFT NOOO im restarting jkdsljlds its a good thing i saved

ahh i did way better this time but the day ended right as i was about to take out the trash LOL

oooh those look tasty too

oops ok so like i started day 3 right

well i was like 'i'll take out the trash before serving any customers' so that i can just easily clean up the tables right

uhh but then suddenly this happened ??? so like protag dropped the bag and cut their finger and the boss is having an odd reaction to the sight of blood methinks

HTHE BOSS JUST SLAPPED HIM ??? WTF

bro he just slapped him then was like 'oh dw someone else will clean it up' hello???? you just slapped ???? me ???

ok then moving on to the rest of the day i guess??

kinda weird looking but it still looks appetizing (the magic of art LOL)

oh shit theres a magazine ?? oops im gonna go back and read through previous ones oh nevermind its just the same one lmao

ohhh so this is where i buy items ok aight

and this catalogue is how our protag knew about the job for a waiter it also has an interview with our boss (Chef Vincent Charbonneau, i finally know his name) about the low number of employees i was wondering why we were the only waiter in the restaurant and i guess thats why

ok i bought the rollerskates cuz i need to be faster for the customers

oh and u can interact w the telephone to call 'her' but she doesnt pick up oof

sorry what is happening right now

what is that weird squelching sound?!?!?

BRO?? WTF WAS THAT ??? so like his body felt itchy, pressed Z to scratch and then suddenly lines were all over his body and then knives came out and i am so very confused

i think that was just a dream but what a weird nightmare

i guess onto day 4 then ?? at least i have my sick new rollerskates now

ooh that looks tasty

man i think im too slow cuz the timer always runs out while one more customer is still around lmfao, oh well

oh shit another nightmare

ohh so i can only equip one item at a time hmmm well since i bought the watch anyways i guess i'll use it

PFFT A CUSTOMER LEFT SORRY LADY,, she was waiting to be seated but i was preoccupied with serving food oopsies

restarting the day then

the nightmare hmm is the protag's name Rody since thats what it says on the label

DAMNIT I TOOK TOO LONG AGAIN

ok im just gonna use the rollerskates this time

AGGHH I KEEP TAKING TOO LONG ON THIS ONE CUSTOMER

restarting again,,,,

should i just let it go? probably but im not going to

IM GONNA LOSE MY MIND IVE RESTARTED SO MANY TIMES

ok well youve not seen it but i have restarted day 5 soo many times and i am hungry so,,, here's where i'll leave it for today

even though i am struggling and getting frustrated, im really enjoying the game so far! i wish i wasnt so terrible at playing it so i could see more of the story LOL

like what is up with the boss? who is this girl that the protag likes so much? what is up with his weird nightmares??? and will i ever be able to finish day 5 ?????

tune in next time LOL byebyeee

#dead plate

24 notes · View notes

dromaeocore · 4 years

Note

hey im in literally the same bucket with wyzant, ive spent like a week saying feeling discouraged from posting because i don't know how to market myself besides "i know things, i did tutoring in high school, and i really want to help" compared to all the Real Adults on there. but ur post helped. (also i blog from tristheerudite so ignore the empty asking blog)

Thank you, I'm really glad to hear I'm not alone in this. :)

I got a tutor through Wyzant for math/chem stuff a couple semesters before I figured out the campus tutoring system, and I remember caring more about how genuine the person came across in their bio and whether their prices were affordable more than what fancy qualifications they had or what schools they went to... So I'm sure there's some other folks out there who feel the same way.

I'm kinda banking on the fact that money is tight for a lot of people right now, but they'll also need people to help their kids with virtual learning stuff, so maybe some folks will go for cheaper tutors even if they don't have many/any qualifications?

I guess we can't know until we try, haha. I still need to finish writing all my bio stuff but tbh, I've been cleaning and cooking and doing fursuit stuff all day so I'm kind of burnt out. Maybe tomorrow lol. I want to see if there's any other remote tutoring or education type of jobs out there, because I've had no luck with anything else and at least there's a market for it now that school's back in session?

Best of luck to you, too. 💚

#ask #tris locked in the tardis

1 note · View note

survivor-halsingland · 3 years

Text

Ep. 1: "There's 100% going to be a Canada alliance." - Amy

Amy

Initial reaction of cast reveal: I’m toast But for real this can go a couple of ways for me, none of which have me seeing myself make merge lol. I’m either going to be a very early boot here or be nice and active enough to solidify a place for a while. Lots of familiar and unfamiliar faces. Hopefully the people familiar with me won’t want to immediately vote me out. I have already mentioned to Derrick that I played with DeNara before, so hopefully we can bond over that and it not be used against me. I have explicitly asked Jared to not exclusively lie to me this go haha but we both said we were more playing for the other half of our duos and just agreed to do it. I was excited to see Blue on my tribe and I also know Leanne, and have already had a good chat with Klied - but his name does have “lie” in it 👀. Honestly I want to do a quick portion of divide and conquer, I planned on chilling in a pool tomorrow and going to drag bingo with Ava. But no one has solidly chosen anything so they are really about to force me to be tribe leader and sort this out. Things I look forward to: vibes, chatting with cool people, meeting people, twists, and drama Things I will not be doing: sitting on hours and hours of video calls. Not my style. But I know several people in this game love it. Let the good times roll y’all

Kenneth

HERE WE GO AGAIN! i'm fresh off of ingary, but jay has magic powers and pulled me in to another season of a potential clown fiesta <3 but seriously, this already seems a lot more enticing and spicy because of the theme in itself and how the challenges and idol hunt are structured so i am very excited to play :) i learned a lot about my last game and i will improve on it (hopefully) by taking more risks and plays that WILL be appreciated by the jury, and not be overly attached to people, which would result to tunnel vision. the first challenges are already pretty great, and i cannot wait to play this game. TO WIN! hehe >:)destiny i’m super confused about a lot of stuff tbh but everyone on my tribe is so nice and welcoming and i’m sure i’ll get the hang of it all soon :) i’m excited to be playing and just hoping i don’t screw things up for my tribe :/

AmyThis tribe is exhausting. Challenges where I need to send a photo back quickly really hate me. My phone took like a minute to actually send the photo, but Waldo went well. Except I started in the bottom right looking with vertical transects and Waldo was hiding in the bottom left 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Woulda been 30 seconds had I started over there. But I’m already expecting tribal so I’m just hoping I wasn’t the worst portion of our challenges haha!

Leanne

Not very much to share so far. Some people on this tribe are much bigger talkers than others, Jared, Derrick, Klied, and Amy. It’s been harder to get Convo from Jesse and Blue, and I’ve barely heard from Josh or Aubree. I wonder if other people have had the same experience. Haven’t dared try game talk with anyone yet. Hoping I’m not behind, but it’s only day 2 right? Maybe I’ll try to put some feelers out with Amy. Maybe I’ll tell her about some things in the idol hunt and see if she’ll give me anything in return, maybe try to get a partnership going. I’m glad she’s on my tribe, but also a little bit scared because I’ve seen exactly how good she is. Aside from that, the person I feel best about right now is Derrick. We’ve had some good chats and seem to connect well. Hope he feels the same way. And Moth. I’m especially nervous about them. When we played before we didn’t exactly hit it off, but I think we’re both… trying. I hope we can have a new start this time, a new story. And from what I know of them they are a very loyal allies so, here’s hoping. Also happy to see Sarah here, and my yinzer JG. Maybe he and my dad can bond over that? And that’s all I’ve got so far. God I hope I did enough in the challenge today. *whines* I don’t wanna go to tribal first!

Jared

Don't mind me making a confessional before the game even starts, call me a game changer. https://youtu.be/JFOxzamkcH8

Jared

Not one, but two, confessionals before the game even begins. Sorry not sorry! https://youtu.be/SETx-0LoI9E

Shawn

Well, things are going good so far! I think anyway. Although I like everyone on my team, I do have to say it's odd playing with someone whose older than my father is, Frank. Usually I like to take charge in games like this, I like to be the leader. Yet, with Frank, it's difficult because he's so much older, I feel like I'm a little kid around him. I don't wanna tell him what to do, because I don't wanna be disrespectful? I'm so excited so far though, absolutely loving the challenge and how we get to pick! Im not that bright so I'm happy I can do creative stuff.

Aubree

This is my first BvW confession! Idk about the other tribe, but the Mysa Tribe is super chill. Most of the conversations yesterday consisted of everyone saying hi and that they were busy and would be active later. Day 2 and the activity level is still the same, which is kind of a relief since I am much more of an introvert. I have been trying to be the first to reach out to people since I feel that is something I have struggled with in past ORGs I’ve played in. I’m usually the reserved/silently-strategic player, but I’m going to try and be more proactive for this game. Ive talked to Klied, Jared, Amy and Leanne a decent amount and have enjoyed our conversations. I know of Amy due to the games she has played with Sarah, so I am hoping that works in my favor. Amy did say that Sarah voted her out in the first game they played in, so that could work one of two ways for my game… like if it came down to a vote between me or Sarah later on?? but maybe it is too soon to think that far ahead? Lol Even though I’m an Art Teacher I chose to steer away from the Creative part to our first challenge. Tbh I’m so burnt out irl when it comes to being creative due to my job, so I’m okay with taking a step back from the creative challenges for now. I’ve enjoyed being a part of the Scavenger Hunt, even though it was a bit harder than expected. I was so stoked to have a Starry Night print, but since it wasn’t real it didn’t count… Like who the heck has a REAL VAN GOGH?? (Or quick access to one) LOL As much as I would LOVEEE to have an original painting, that teacher salary-bracket doesn’t allow for that!! Lol I haven’t had anyone directly ask to me to be in an alliance with them… so that is - interesting? I’m used to the last two games I played where it felt like everything was very paced. Now, It’s either A) everyone is just chillin’ and not wanting to rush things or B) bonds HAVE already started to form but I’m not a part of them? I guess things will spend up more after the first challenge is over and we see where our strengths and weaknesses are in the tribe. Until then! - Aubree

Moth

Hi!! I’m back again and playing with someone I know. I actually happen to be on call with Destiny as I type this but like- were vibing And also once again I’m starting off on the wrong foot, not at home when the game starts.

Moth

I don’t trust Jared Straight up And I feel like that’s fair- Twice I’ve been voted out for my connections to Kyoshi island and it’s really fucking frustrating- Jared apologized and sounded sincere but idk I trust people too easily.. Brayden, Denara, and Leanne are also all in this game All people I’ve played with Leanne I don’t trust right off the bat. I tried that before but like- that didn’t work for me. I just want to at least make it to the merge

Frank

Having fun, learning as I get going. Truly impressed by the comraderi among people whom I've never met. Old dogs, new tricks, this is cool.

Klied

The game is going pretty well so far! Everyone has been really nice and supportive of one another. I hope this tribe dynamic continues for the next rounds of the game! :>

Moth

I fucked it up I genuinely feel really bad because everyone’s so confident in me- And I’m totally going to be a target now

Moth

Ohhhhh thank god Thank god because I was absolutely going to be on the chopping block if we lost I don’t want to be first out That being said

I don’t want Destiny to be first out either

Shawn

I'm not very happy tonight with how things went. I truly believe the other team deserved the win, the video was creative and a lot of effort was put into it! I think it was a great thing. But I disappointed that we lost so many of the challenges. I'm also getting annoyed that people are being present on the chat. I feel like it's me and another tribe member that is putting in all the work. Not impressed, but whatever. I just really hope I don't get voted off tomorrow.

Kenneth

welp i bombed the where's waldo challenge and my team lost by a hair in the riddles challenge because of an advantage so rip. i really hope i don't get voted off first because i severely underperformed in the challenge akjdnsajkndkjsnd i'd be really disappointed in myself :/

Amy

Shocked. Absolutely shocked we aren't headed to tribal lol. And here I thought my 4 minutes on Waldo was too slow but it was enough. Honestly we are lucky Blue's quit disadvantage was only what it was bc they quit after 30 minutes apparently. All these advantages at play! And I'm sitting here with a disadvantage. I think I'm clearly doing the idol hunt wrong 😆 all I have is a disadvantage from poison feast food and a chipmunk named Wadsworth in my pocket. Based on how little anyone is speaking I was certain we'd be going to tribal hands down no question. So I am very, very happy we avoided it in the end. I think it would have been between Jessie and Josh though bc they aren't active. I would have voted Jessie bc Josh did the video even after saying he didn't actually want to do the creative part so that's major props to him in my book! I am very curious as to who the other tribe is going to vote off in the end. I hope it's no one I want to make it far. Oh basically I know I'm probably not making merge so I'm trying to align things to get certain people farther and get other people out. I'm rooting for a newbie to take it. Anyway woo day off and I won't be first boot. Fingers crossed it's not Ava. I wouldn't be surprised if she was targeted for her association with me. Love this game! Love this cast! Love the idol hunt! The reward challenge was the most fun bc Ava and I were incredibly intoxicated after Drag Bingo and we did better each time! The last one we went "office" and "turnip" and literally bust out laughing and both said "Nate". I would like to personally apologize to Ellie for having to witness that nonsense. Thank you to everyone! Oh one last thing. I did not want to work with jared at all but it looks like I am going to be forced to do so. I think I have to put trust in Jared and in Leanne who has voted me out of two games prior 😆 but that's me always just bonding most with the people who are active and want to talk to me.

Amy

There's 100% going to be a Canada alliance.

Aubree

Who won the first challenge?? MYSA DID! Woot woot! Even though Jared, Jessie and I didn’t win the Scavenger Hunt portion after the advantages were added in - we did win as far as how many total objects were found, so I’m pretty proud about that! To top it off Sarah and I won the Reward Challenge!!!! We both get 3 stat points to add to our Idol Hunt… which I have yet to do… I should probably do that tomorrow O_o

Avat

hings are going well i think!!! i've had a lot of fun and i sorta vibe with everyone so far on the tribe. i'm really hyped and fingers crossed we do well. i've been sorta inactive with my challenge bc of work but i'm doing what i can for now. more to come soon

DeNara

Well this is my first confessional of the game and oh my is this going to be an interesting game. Initial impressions of my tribe...... Sarah +Jodi- frenemies because they are so good at survivor Frank- I really like him. He seems like a cool dude Kenneth- Seems cool, I may want to work with him, but he seems to be playing harder than he should so early Brayden- Didn't get the best first impression, but that could change Shawn- Super quiet, then they started chatting so that helped Ava, J.G., Destiny- Really inactive so I don't really know- potential first vote I want to work with Sarah, Frank and maybe Kenneth. Jodi would be good to work with although who knows what she is thinking. Everyone else I will stay open to working with, but really don't care too much as of yet.

DeNara

The first challenge was weird because everyone just took their roles and stopped talking. I HATE QUIET. Period. The creative challenge on my tribe wasn't super creative imo, but they tried. I didn't help in the scavenger hunt as much as I wanted too so that sucks, but at least we won that part so that looks good. I am so excited for this idol hunt! It is amazing! Props to the hosts! WE LOST, DAMMIT. At least Derrick won't be the first boot. I hope I am not either or HE WILL NOT STOP BUGGING ME ABOUT IT AND I WILL DIE.

DeNara

Well it is chaos now. Shawn has made an alliance with Sarah, Kenneth, and myself. I like the safety of that. Jodi, Sarah and myself also made a Subrosa alliance (we all knew that would happen) and I feel like this will keep me safe for a while at least. Both Sarah and Jodi want to work with Brayden and potentially Kenneth so we may make an alliance of 5 with them- but that also means Sarah and I would have to talk to Kenneth about not telling Jodi about the other alliance and that could be very risky early on.... hmmm idk about that. Also, Frank is my dude. I hope he stays. I think I am going to lean towards J.G. or Destiny.

Sarah

https://youtu.be/RzlLHyHZguQ

Kenneth

I am now in 2 alliances: one with denara, sarah, and shawn, and another one with ava and brayden! i feel good about both alliances, with the first one feeling solid and loyal (for now), and the second one for the long term! i feel very solid about sarah and denara, i feel like i can last long with them as my good allies. jodi's a tricky one, because i know she's a damn good player, but it's better to keep her on my side for now until an opportune time to make a move (and i actually really like talking to her!).

Jared

me: i'm gonna try to make this concise also me: 8 minutes on the very first episode where i'm not even going to tribal oh boy

Brayden

https://youtu.be/reALs2hizjk hey everyone I'm here

DeNara

So now I am in a bunch of alliances. I guided Kenneth to make an alliance chat with Sarah and me to tell us to keep our alliances with 1. Shawn and 2. Brayden and Jodi a secret. Insert evil laugh here lol. So all together right now I should have Sarah, Jodi, Kenneth, Brayden, Shawn and Frank backing me, so I shouldn't be first boot. It sounds like we are going for Destiny because they aren't very active, which was the name Kenneth threw out first so he is getting what he wants without upsetting me.

Ava

so so so bummed about going to tribal i thought we had it in the bag especially with our advantages but alas... i formed an alliance with brayden and kenneth which i'm super obsessed with i really like both of them - hopefully this means safety for tomorrow. i hate working two jobs and the week after next ill be working just one which is just so fucking sweet fingers crossed i can make it that long in this game. anyway that's all for now

Jodi

I'm so happy to be back. This time, I promise to play a chill Jodi game as I said in my intro, and I want to relax and enjoy this twist of a season. Jared and I are thrilled to play our second season together in the actual format of BvW, and we will be playing our own games. So far, I'm glad to have Denara, Sarah, Brayden on my tribe, as we all know each other but never played before (except Brayden). I want to keep an open mind and play fluidly. Kenneth told Brayden within 10 mins of the game starting that he was scared of me, but I hope I can gain the trust of people and not play as flashy as people remember me for. Looking forward to the connections I make!

Jodi

I promised y'all a chill Jodi game and here i am, delivering it. I think. DeNara and Sarah immediately made the "The Best of SubRosa" chat because obviously that was bound to happen, but additionally, the 3 of us are in an alliance with Brayden and Kenneth called "the clock" (because of our time zones ahahahaha). This game's dynamic is so different because even though we hate going to tribal, it also means that our loved ones are safe from tribal, which sometimes, could be better. I hope Jared is doing good on the other side. Obviously I trust Sarah and DeNara but I also know Sarah will cut my throat when it needs to happen, even if she gonna be crying while doing it, so I'll just...not be blinded by that. I trust Brayden 100%, Kenneth calling me scary is not great but I guess he rather be with me than against me, for now. Y'all Ingary kids what did you say about me??? LMAOO ♥️ I did ask him why he didn't cause ruckus at 5 and whip out the superidol and he said "tunnel vision". Hey that's two of us I guess!

Sarah

https://youtu.be/RzlLHyHZguQJessie So I’m still working on making like connections and stuff but we won the first challenge so no tribal which is a very good thing . ❤️ I’m enjoying this interactive scavenger hunt and I’m totally not trying to pull a Danni from Midsommar lol.

Brayden

hey guys im in a 5 person alliance rn with jodi sarah denara and kenneth and i feel pretty good and excited bc i think ill win this whole game but sadly destiny is prob leaving tonight <\3

Derrick

First challenge done. We rocked it! I don't really have any sort of alliance at this point but I seem to be getting along with everyone. Josh didn't seem to put too much effort into our creative set up but it still worked out OK. It was unfortunate I was on my trip at the time as I could have done so much more with. I think as long as we support eachother we can rock every challenge that comes our way!joshIM SOO HAPPY WE WON! our tribe seems to be like friendly but i havent made any alliances i think so idk if im in a good spot if we lose a challenge but we didnt this time so🙃ShawnEveryone in the tribe is messaging about Destiny, and that is who everyone is thinking of voting off. I'm still thinking of voting Frank off, and I think that's who I'm going for. He's not good at technology, and this whole game is about technology! We lost the creative challenge because all we could do with him was write! Still, everyone thinks because Destiny isn't very active she should be the one to go. I'm not sure what I want to do. JGOh hey! Here we are round one. I feel so out of it playing this game. For the first time in a while, I barely know any of the other players. Which is refreshing and tough. I also feel like my social game is kind of lacking but that is kind of my brand for round 1. I have had some great one on one conversations with DeNara, Jodi, and Sarah. I've talked to Brayden and Kenneth as well a little bit less than the first three. Shawn and Ava, barely. Frank and Destiny not at all. The vote should be Destiny since we sadly lost. Which works for me. I feel the closest with DeNara and Sarah. Really hoping I can start to get my footing. If we were to lose again, Frank would probably go but I don't wanna put myself in the line of fire again. Well here's hoping things improve. Hopefully, I'm not blindsided. Here we go.blueMy tribe seems pretty cool so far, everyone is nice and seems pretty active so thats nice. Shawns going to tribal so I hope theyre gonna be safe :(((DeNara As far as I know, the vote is going to be Destiny. I feel bad for them for not getting the chance to play, and I feel really bad for Moth, they always have the worst luck in ORGs. That being said I sure hope nothing crazy happens tonight or I will cry 100% Tribal, here I come...AubreeThere is hardly any game talk (at least from where I’m standing), so I may start trying to get a feel of where people are at by asking some game-related questions in the tribe chat. Don’t get me wrong, I love the personal chit-chats… BUT I’m also feeling a bit empty-handed as far as knowing everyone’s game motives. Maybe I’m being too bold… idk. I’m not normally the one to standout in ORGs, so hopefully my tribe doesn’t take this as me prying… even though I guess I kinda am?? 😬 “Oof look at me being all dangerous and shit!” 😤🤘🏼😂blueSO here are more detailed thoughts on my tribe. Amy of course is a queen and a legend and we've played together before and have a good rapport. Leanne is so kind and so funny, and I would be super down for working with her. Jared is SO nice I get really good vibes and really enjoy talking to him. Aubree is also very nice and seems genuinely interested in my irrelevant stories 10/10 good vibes. Moth is dope as expected and turns out we have a lot of the same interests ie. witcher and the mcelroys very fun. The rest are yet to be determined.AmyI would like to start out by saying that Brayden's video during their tribal almost made me seasick thanks buddy. So today was a DAY. It was a day off and like I had a weird day at work lol 😆 and then I remembered there was the task of talking to people who h i slacked on today whoops sorry. But for half these people idk if they even noticed bc my tribe is so quiet. Did I already say I tried asking Jessie what their favorite berry was? Like that's how exhausting conversation has been most all around. I think I'm talking to Leanne, Derrick, and Jared the most. I am begging for bygones to be bygones. But anyway I was trying to do a little of the hunt throughout the day bc after seeing

all those advantages last go I was SHOCKED. Then at the end of work I made it to thevpart where I was talking to the grumpy sad flower crown man and after falling on my weak ass on a ladder I picked the lock with a bobbypin and charisma's him to make me a flower crown which got me to the maypole which had me do a scavenger hunt and I got an idol. Writing this all out is absolutely hilarious. But yeah I have an idolllllllllllllllllllll which I don't want to use anytime soon. But I have a feeling I'm going to struggle to make merge. Anyway I got this idol like directly after the other tribe finishing tribal and I love a funny timing like that. I'm glad Ava survived weee! And wow they have some very vocal tribe members haha I'm sure Denara and Jodi are working together which tracks bc I've been closest to both of them individually in prior games early on. Curious if it will stick. So next was rock paper scissors for which I have a 10% disadvantage which apparently applies to the overall tribe score ☠️ . I won my game against Brayden who was at seemingly a raging Big Brother watch party. Sorry buddy. But we've been chatting like he asked how josh was and I said Josh is great and really stepped up to the plate for the creative challenge even though it wasn't what he wanted and also he loves tom holland so I instantly trust him. Then he said everyone likes ava bc she's just so cool and yes I get it I am personally intimidated by how cool Ava is and I have to be around that cool level every day honestly I don't know why she talks to me but she's a badass. Anyyywayyyy he doesn't seem keen on actually talking game and I need to figure out if I need to just tell my tribe I have a disadvantage rn or be like what the fuck the other tribe is so mean to give me a disadvantage 😭 Anyway excited to explore the hunt some more and this game is so fun. If we go to tribal I think Jessie is most at risk tbh. Okay that's all bye ❤️

0 notes

lovebunnie · 6 years

Note

all of them :))) ✨🌟

oh dear lord mads

Crimson - What was an event that’s shaped you to be who you are today? - i would probably say when i took my speech classes, as it really grew my love of public speaking and speech writing :>

Light Pink - Do you have stuffed animals? - yeah! i have a plush elephant, a green dinosaur, a small lamb, and a plush tweek doll from south park. they all chill with me and i love them

Blush - Are you single? - indeed i am!

Amaranth - What’s your favourite emotion? - im fond of :3 and :p

Cherry Blossom - How are you feeling right now? - kind of nervous for camp but overall really excited! and sleepy but thats unrelated

Hollywood Cerise - What are your ambitions? - i want to become a speech teacher or an english teacher and teach people how to find their voice in public speaking

Razzmatazz - Favourite TV Show? - …hannibal…

Rose - Where do you feel most comfortable? - in my room, with a laptop on my bed and my cat next to me, just fuckin Chillin

French Rose - What is your favourite flavour? - lemon!!

Cameo Pink - Favourite movie? - dead poets society, all day every day

Buff Orange - Would you consider yourself athletic? - not at fucking all. i used to be but not anymore :[

Burnt Sienna - Favourite smell? - roses and peaches. hell fucking yeah.

Melon - Do you like to dance? - sure! when i get ready in the morning and at night i dance to random music in my pajamas

Carrot - Do you bake? - i make shit from boxed things, but from scratch no

Copper - What is your favourite kind of day? - a rainy day but not a thunderstorm and its saturday and i just got out of work and i have lots of money from it :3

Orangeade - When do you feel alive? - gonna keep it real with u, i cant really remember the last time i felt really alive. im just kinda here exisiting

Gamboge - Where do you want to travel? - id love to go to europe or back to san francisco or new york city!!

Peach - Favourite texture/s? - lace…

Vermillion - How brave are you? - not brave at all! im such a coward!

Bittersweet Shimmer - What is your favourite memory? - when my best friend visited from maryland and we hung out all day. thats the first that comes to mind.

Flax - Do you like going to the beach? - i fucking hate the beach

Wheat - Who can you trust the most? - i have a lot of trust issues but i really honestly can trust my best friend irl, @sarkisianns, and @g0bbleb0ners. i luv dem.

Laser Lemon - What kind of phone do you have? - an iphone 6

Gold - Are you high maintenance? - i cant really say for sure but like, probably yeah im a mess

Mellow Yellow - How calm are you? - im never calm literally ever i have an anxiety disorder

Unmellow Yellow - How high energy are you? - i used to be super high energy but recently ive been tired all the time :[

Papaya Whip - How honest are you? - i try to be as honest as humanly possible. i see honesty as the best way to go always, no matter what.

Transparent Yellow - Would you consider yourself to be special? - id like to imagine i am but honestly probably not

Canary - Favourite song? - atm its souk eye by gorillaz, but in the past its been ‘american pie’ and ‘viva la vida’

Reed Yellow - Do you play an instrument? - used to play drums, but not anymore! so no

Pear - Where do you feel rested? - in bed

Olive - What is your favourite food? - sushi is mmy fav its yummy

Fern - Favourite plant? - roses!!!!!!!

Moss - Are you quiet or loud? - depends on who you are. if i know u, i never shut up. if we dont know each other, im really silent.

Tea green - How do you relax? - i try to sleep or i watch drew gooden on youtube

Celadon - Dream job? - in a perfect world? speech writer or professional public speaker

Harlequin - Can you act? - im not really a theatre kid, but i am taking theatre next year so like who knows maybe ill find my calling

Malachite - Do you speak more than one language? - god i WISH but no

Mantis - Favourite animal? - kitties or sloths :3

Seafoam Green - Do you like water? - i fucking love it so much if i didnt have it, id LITERALLY die

Sky Blue - Would you ever want to fly? - sure! then id never have to drive which is ideal

Periwinkle - Would you want to breathe underwater? - yeah why not

Powder Blue - Or control the weather? - prob not i wouldnt know what is best for all the plants so i might kill them. but maybe to move all the hurricanes so no one dies……… yeah lets do that

Liberty - Become the president/prime minister? - id rather be shot in the chest

Space Cadet - Become an astronaut? - even tho i was known as ‘space kid’, space is terrifying so no thank u

Celeste (lol it me) - Have perfect pitch? - nah i like singing badly

Eton Blue - Become invisible? - YES PLEASE!!!!

Indigo - Become immortal? - no thanks, i dont want to see my mom die ever

Iris - Grow plants at will? - ROSES EVERYWHERE!!!!! THATS THE DREAM!!!!!!

Whispering Blue - Or teleport? - HELL YES!!!

Lilac - Would you want kids? - no way no how

Lavender - What is your favourite time of day? - early morning with the soft sunrise!!

Mulberry - Could you betray someone? - this is ominous as fuck but probably…. not… i mean, id like to think i couldnt

Eminence - Favourite sounds? - music and my kitty purring and making my friends laugh :3

Palatinate - Do you think you’ll make it to 100 years old? - probably not lbr

Prune - Do you ever think about dying? - everytime i enter a car or a movie theatre or walk alone i think about dying

Fandango - Do you spontaneously start singing sometimes? - YES. ITS MAGICAL

Thistle - If you could become wise, rich, or intelligent, which would you rather? - rich so i could give money to people who need it since rich people refuse to fucking do it

Mauve - What would you name your kids/pets? - id name a cat neil and a ferret either milo or bilbo

Royal Purple - What’s your favourite emotion? - …happiness…?

Cream - If you had 1 day left to live, what would you do? - probably sit in my bed and sob uncontrollably

Silver - Are you a good person? - i dont think so, no

Ecru - How do you feel about the world today? - i think its in a very scary place rn and sometimes its hard to see good but if u look or it, it will always be there

Auburn - Favourite colour? - pink or red :p

White - Do you own lots of makeup? - i wish i owned more but im terrible at makeup so not really no

Black - What is the greatest success of your life so far? - probably getting my blackbelt

Bronze - Would you follow my blog? - u silly goose….. i already AM!!! :DPink Nectar - What’s your aesthetic? - roses and peaches and softness and angels and sunshine and heart shaped objects and kitties and everything girly and delicate

Sepia - Do you like photography? - sure! but im bad at it but i like looking at it

#sarkisianns #maddy #this took so much out of me #but it was fun! get to kno me :>

3 notes · View notes

wishfulthinking29 · 4 years

Note

1-60

1. what's your favorite flower?

Sunflowers

2. what's your favorite color to wear?

Black! Bc it's slimming

3. what's your favorite scent of candle or essential oil?

Anything citrus. Citrus is an energizing smell. But I also love anything apple scented and most fall/winter scents.

4. what are three things you like about your physical appearance?

I think my eye color is pretty. I like my hands (kinda sorta, they're low-key man hands but it's okay) and Ive learned to like my legs again.

5. what are three things you like about your personality?

I like to think I'm a nice person. Sometimes I'm too nice but yeah. I'm very giving and caring too. I'm very loving too

6. do you like to wear makeup?

Not really. I like to rub my face and itch my face and makeup gets in the way of that lol

7. what are your favorite places to eat?

Fucking CHIPOTLE, any Chinese place ever lol, this Thai place across from my work, and I love Publix sandwiches sooo much

8. what's your favorite part of the day?

Going to sleep lol or around 3-4 am, it's so quiet and peaceful then

9. summer, spring, winter, or fall?

It's close between fall and winter but I gotta say winter.

10. if you could live anywhere where would you live?

Colorado. Specifically Aspen, Colorado. Or Vail. It's expensive up there but god it's so gorgeous

11. what's something expensive you really want but don't need?

I want a new laptop but I don't technically need it lol

12. what qualities do you look for in a friend?

I don't think I look for anything specifically. Just basically a caring person, who won't fuck me over who I can vibe with

13. do you wear perfume/cologne? if so what kind?

Yes! Anything Jimmy Choo. Specifically Fever by Jimmy Choo. My favorite rn

14. what's your favorite sugary cereal?

Fruit Loops

15. what are some of your favorite types of candy?

Hmmm. I love reese's. I like twix. I like gummy candy too and like, fruit chews and stuff

16. are you better at cooking or baking?

Probably better at cooking. But I haven't done much baking

17. what's one thing on your bucket list?

Travel to every single national park in the United States!

18. what is your favorite type of food?

Chinese, hands down

19. what was your first job?

I worked at a barn for my first job. I exercised horses, cleaned the barn and paddocks, and fed and watered the horses, etc

20. are you usually early or late to things?

Depends on the thing and it's importance lol

21. what show are you currently watching?

Breaking Bad. I should have finished it by now, I only have two episodes left but I hit a bit of a depressive state so I haven't yet

22. what's your favorite drink?

Hmmm. Ginger ale or just plain water. Oooh or strawberry/raspberry lemonade

23. what do you hope never changes?

I hope I never stop loving so hard. It really hurts me but I love it. To love someone so deeply, purely, without holding back.. it's a special thing.

24. what's your dream car?

I want a 2 door. Like a lamborghini or a Ferrari one day lol, waaaay in the future when I start making serious money. And it wouldn't be my main car. They break down too easy and are so expensive to take to the shop

25. what songs have you completely memorized?

Oh man. A lot. Sad Song by We The Kings, Eminem- Cleaning Out My Closet, just to name a few.

26. what would you rate 10/10?

Man, going hiking. There is nothing like being outdoors.

And of course, I'd rate her 10/10...

27. what color scheme do you like?

Fall color scheme! Dark reds, dark blues, dark purples, burnt orange

28. what are some of your favorite movies?

Blue Is The Warmest Color, But I'm a Cheerleader, Moondance Alexander

29. what do you wish you knew more about?

Life and love

30. what's the best way to start the day?

To wake up next to your best friend, your soul mate. I've only started my day like that a handful of times in my life.

31. what mystery do you wish you knew the answer to?

Love and how to cope with heartbreak. There must be some kind of secret to it. I'm not sure though. Also, I'd love to know, how do parents betray their own children? I'd love to know that.

32. what's your favorite movie or book genre?

Horsey books for sure

33. what's the farthest you've ever been from home?

From Georgia all the way to Colorado. Which isn't that far but yeah

34. do you like rollercoasters?

No. I fucking love them

35. what are you most likely to become famous for?

Being a fuck up? Lmao

On the real though, I used to dream about being a famous horseback rider. God how I wish that could've come true.

36. what fictional place would you most like to go?

The Harry Potter universe!

37. what popular TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?

Supergirl just bc I don't think I'd like it

38. what would be your ideal date?

Anywhere with her

39. what's the most impressive thing you know how to do?

Hmmm. I'm not sure. I mean like, I can give animals IVs, but I'm not sure if that's impressive or not.

40. what was the best book or series you've ever read?

Harry Potter orrrr Canterbury Crest

41. what are you interested in that most people haven't heard of?

I mean nothing really, but I do love snow globes. People have heard of them but probably not heard of collecting them like I do

42. what is the most annoying question that people ask you regularly?

When are you having kids??

Never, nosy!!!! Just because I'm 21 doesn't mean I have to start popping them out! Ugh, my sole purpose in this life is not to have children. My itty bitty tiny woman brain is gonna do so much more for this world by itself than raising children could ever do for this world

43. what could you give a 40 minute presentation on with absolutely no preparation?

Pretty much anything horse related, or related to my work I guess lol. I know so much about retail that I wish I never knew lol

44. what's something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

Go to Colorado!! When it's snowing

45. what's something that a ton of people are obsessed with, but you just don't get the point of?

Going out to bars/clubs. I just don't get it. If I'm drinking I'm drinking alone or with a few friends

46. who inspires you to be better?

The women in my family. They always inspire me to be the best version of me I can be.

47. what irrational fear do you have?

I'm terrified of ghosts? And like, demons and stuff

48. what's the hardest lesson you've learned?

I like, dont want to answer this lol

But one of the hardest I've ever learned is that it's so important to check on your friends often. You never know how they're feeling and what's going on with them. You don't want it to be too late. It's better to be annoying than have regrets about not asking people how they're doing.

49. what's the last adventure you went on?

I went on a hike around Arabia Mountain Saturday before last. Not really an adventure but it was fun for sure

50. what was the most memorable gift you've ever received?

I received a really special snow globe maybe two years ago? I can't remember but I love it so much

51. what's something you can never seem to finish?

Sometimes it's hard for me to finish school work lol, it seems neverending.

52. what do you strongly suspect but have no proof of?

Don't wanna answer. If I answer it may come true, so no.

53. what song or artist do you like, but rarely admit to liking?

Lol, man, embarrassing. But certain songs by 21 Savage... yeah, I know, cringe lol

54. what question can you ask to find out the most about a person?

Like what their hobbies are. What someone does in their free time says a lot about them I think

55. what bridges do you not regret burning?

The ones between my mother and her side of the family. Fuck them all.

56. what's the most illegal thing you've done?

Smoke weed?? On school property? Or cocaine lol

57. what are you afraid people see when they look at you?

My vunerability and how easy it would be to crush my emotions

58. what do you hope people see when they look at you?

I hope people see someone nice who they can come to with anything.

59. what are you excited most about in your life right now?

Not much to be honest

60. which tv or movie character(s) do you identify with and why?

I really don't know. Maybe Adéle from Blue Is The Warmest Color

0 notes

silkyandsurveys · 4 years

Text

survey #4

What grocery store do you shop at the most?

we usually go to giant hehe

Which stovetop burner do you use the most?

the bottom left is usually what i use especially to boil things i won’t use any other

Do you use a dishwasher or wash dishes by hand?

my mom is the type to lie wash by hand and THEN put in the dish washer which like lowkey pisses me off cause it wastes so much water

What color is your favorite laundry basket?

this is the weirdest question ever but we only have like tan ones and one blue and they’re all the same exact thing

What color was your first car?

my black nissan mwah

What was your first job?

i used to answer the phone for my grandfather when i was super young and get paid like 20 bucks lolll but my first actual job was a dishwasher 😍

What is the best job you’ve had?

uhm i actually liked when i was a food server

What is the best pharmacy near you?

we use cvs and it’s actually really poppin

Do you use public transportation?

no never i live in a small town so there is no public transport

Which bank do you use?

i have some savings in one and then my actual bank is a pennsylvania ran bank

Do you have a credit card?

no not 18 bleh

What is your favorite fast food restaurant?

probs chick fil a mcdonald’s or taco bell they all be yummy

What do you want to name your kids?

i have some ideas i love finn/flynn weston for boys i really struggle for girl names though

How many tattoos do you have?

none but on my 18th birthday i plan to get one

What year did you graduate high school?

i graduate next year !

What chore do you hate the most?

i hate putting away laundry SO much

What is your favorite shampoo to use?

i use shes moisture and i quite like it it’s the first one that really allows me to not shampoo every day cause it really cleans my scalp

How do you remove stains from clothes?

stain remover always

Do you carry pepper spray?

no i lowkey want to but i’m scared of spraying it wrong ig

What highway do you drive on the most?

i literally never use the interstate and even if i did i honestly wouldn’t know the name of it

Do you like driving?

yes i love to drive. going on drives during quarantine has been actually my favorite thing to do. i love being the one driving cause i just like having the control of the car cause i’m a big scaredy-cat

What is your favorite radio station?

hits 1? i don’t ever listen to radio but if i do that’s what i’ll listen to

What do you use for an alarm clock (phone, stereo, actual clock, etc.)?

i use my phone or my alexa

Which department store do you shop at the most?

i no joke had to look up department stores but honestly i don’t shop there? if i had to pick one it would be macy’s but even then

Which dollar store is your favorite?

i don’t ever go to a dollar store i can’t remember the last time i did

Do you shop at the dollar store often?

not really. i only go there for party supplies or like school projects but like ? i never go

What is your favorite gas station?

i use sunoco but i like sheetz the best

Do you burn candles often?

yes i love burning candles i’m so sensitive to smells so i like to burn candles so my room can be a cohesive smell. i also leave the windows open whenever i can for that reason too

How do you relax?

go on tumblr or embroider. i also love watching youtube videos i have like specific categories of videos that will make me relax and not worry

What’s your favorite app on your phone?

twitter for sure

What do you cook the most?

if i’m cooking i’m either boiling pasta or baking i don’t do anything else

When was the last time you relaxed in a hot bath?

i had a bath a month ago? i don’t like baths though unless i’m in a HUGE bath tub and a bubble bath

Do you take showers or baths normally?

showers like 100% of the time

What is your favorite candle scent?

i love vanilla candles but man smell candles are so nice. something fresh and springy is nice but the absolute best candles are fall and christmas

How much does it cost for you to laundry (if you use a slot machine)

0 i have a washer

Do you make your bed every day?

uhm i fake make my bed normally? i sleep pretty still so i only mess up my side but then i’ll like adjust my blankets to make it look made but it’s not really

Do you have any pets?

yes two dogs

Do you have kids?

no this girlies 17

Are you married?

Do you save receipts?

no i don’t i used to and it probably would be good too but i find it really hoarder esc and gets so messy.

Do you use re-usable bags at the grocery store?

yes i try to but i don’t always succeed . i try to not use bags if i don’t need to

What color is your carpet?

my rug is like medium grey

Have you ever burnt yourself with the glue gun?

yes that shit is so painful

Do you write checks?

no i don’t think i ever have from my own bank account. i’ve only written one check and it was for SATs this year

Ever had a garage sale?

yes my area has a big yard sale every year and we used to do it

What have been some of your best garage sale finds?

i’ve never gotten anything special

What time do you wake up in the morning?

lately around 9

Are you a morning person?

i wish so much it was easier for me to wake up because my favorite time of the entire day is early morning and i love waking up early and being productive but it’s so hard for me to get up. i’d still say yes cause i’m always in a good mood in the morning and i love it

Are you more of a morning person now than you used to be?

yes for sure

Do you like to read?

i don’t like reading real books but i’m ngl my guilty pleasure is fan fiction still to this day

What was the first election you voted in?

never voted i’m not legal

Who is on speed dial in your phone?

i don’t have speed dial

Do you play games on your phone?

yeah but very rarely

What phone do you have?

iphone 8 + but i’m gonna get a new phone next month hehe

What was your first phone?

it was called a cosmo i don’t remember the real brand though

What kind of computer do you have?

i have a hp

Wall calendar or desk calendar?

i don’t have either but i like planners the best

If you read a daily devotional, which one are you using currently?

i have costar if that is the same?

What is your favorite book?

hunger games they’re my fav books and movies

What is the strangest food you’ve had?

i really don’t know i’m not an adventurous eater at all

What do you do when the power goes out?

my heart actually snaps

Does your home have a basement?

yes

How often do you clean?

i try to clean my room every couple of days to keep it tidy

How often do you go grocery shopping?

every two weeks about

Ever bought a lottery ticket?

i’ve never bought one but i’ve been gifted them

Do you gamble?

nope

What does your purse look like?

i don’t have an every day purse. i need to get one really bad though

Do you ever sleep on the floor?

uhm no the last time i slept on the floor was after i got cross faded at my sisters apartment lol

Which room do you stay in the most?

my room always

What is your bedtime?

i try to like “get ready” around 9-11 but then lately i’ll go to bed around 1-3 at most

Ever worked two jobs or more at once?

i don’t think i have ive worked at a fair while having my normal job if that counts?

Do you live in an apartment, condo, house, or dorm?

my moms house

What does your dream house look like?

very open and bright but filled with decor

Describe your dream wedding.

something very bright and light and pretty. idk i have a small distaste to marriage

How often do you go on vacation?

it used to be never when i was a kid but the past couple years it’s about twice a year?

What is your favorite type of weather?

i love snow, rainy and cold, or cool and sunny

What do you do when you have a sore throat?

complain i can’t lie

How often do you go see a doctor?

it depends i have some years where i go all the time and others where i rarely go at all

Do you have acid reflux?

i don’t think so no

Do you snore?

no thank god

Are you on birth control?

no i can’t go on birth control hehe love it

What kind of toothpaste do you use?

i think colgate?

Do you wear glasses or contacts?

i have glasses but i actually never wear them

0 notes

therecoveringcatho-holic · 4 years

Text

mannn.. life is just getting so much better!!! i just have to share where i'm at y'all bc ive been pretty excited about who i'm becoming bc i'm actively working on my spirit and who i am thru Christ.

first off - i'm fortunate for past, current and future *pain* bc it's brought me many blessings and will continue to bring me more.. just watch. it's just all about perspective and mines slowly but surely turning around! 💕 pain is a blessing bc without it we wouldn't know joy & we wouldn't be able to help others with similar problems!! i def struggle with my own share of health issues, a lot more at 31 than i ever wanted to have but i gotta be realistic about it: i treated my mind, body and spirit like a trash can off and on for the better part of a decade, i have trauma that i wouldn't dive into - like for real, for real - until 2 years ago or so bc i kept wanting to mask it. all that did was make it fester and then i projected it on others so what should i expect you know?? i used to complain constantly that 'life is not fair' and until very recently, i couldn't turn that around in my head and look at it positively .. like I AM ACTUALLY GLAD it's not bc if it was fair then i should have died yearssss ago.. one way or another esp if you look at it from a scientific standpoint. i may not know what my purpose is in life y'all but it's not my job to figure that out, it's my job to trust The Lord and His plan for me even if it doesn't always make sense to me. He is a God beyond my understanding and letting Him run the show makes life a lot better. we're not meant to have it easy but we weren't designed to make it so hard on ourselves or others either. He provides us the tools, it's just a matter of if we choose to use them or not. we all struggle so let's help each other out but the right thing is usually not the easy one so be proud of yourself when you make good decisions, no matter how small. the small things become big things; choices become habits -- that can be good or bad so make it a good thing 😘

one main problem i've always struggled with is consistency, esp when it comes to obeying The Lord. i am finally aware that my behavior does NOT affect Gods love for me bc He's an unconditional, loving God but my behavior dictates how much easier or harder life becomes for me.. and it's a daily thing y'all but it is for a lot of people, not just me. i just know that when i impulsively react to somebody or something, my

m o u t h is the first to go 😬😏SOOOO now im pretty good at waiting it out and if i think the same thing 2 mins later or so, you bet i'm gonna say it bc i'm blunt like that and i don't care to sugarcoat my thoughts BUT i also don't have to be hateful/disrespectful about it.. so that's been a turn around, for sure! 🙏 most people have a filter and i seem to lack one so i'm trying to develop one.. haha, it's funny but it's not at the same time.. actually it's been quite debilitating, really. my impulsivity and my mouth have burnt a lot of bridges in my life. not everybody or everything deserves a reaction and i don't need to waste my energy on things that arent my business -- and huge surprise here guys -- there is a LOT of stuff that is not my business so i take my nose out of it now 😜. i thrived off the drama and chaos for so long bc i didn't wanna look inward at myself and work on what was actually wrong -- which was me and my spirit. i am blessed for awareness and personal perspective.. it is everything.

ive been going back to AA and someone mentioned that theyve been praying for people that they have issues with, don't like or whatever the case may be and it's been helping them change their reaction/perspective towards that individual. at the end of the day, people are gonna do what they're gonna do but the way i choose to respond to it says everything about me, not them. that's why i love "The Four Agreements" book so much -- seriously life changing bc it's helped me realized that like i had so much displaced anger for so long and made it about everybody else and "what they did to me" , how "i'm not like everybody else", "why do they have a career / family / house and i don't?" WHATEVERRRR blah blah blah 😑 when at the end of the day, it had nothing to do with them. i was unhappy with myself, pissed that i got "cursed" with alcoholism and depression, sleep issues, etc. so instead of looking at it my difficulties as strengths and blessings, i had my own definition of what successful, happy people looked like or what they had and i was straight up mad and jealous of y'all. like how dare y'all have it so easy, right?! 🙄 omg hahaha how delusional is that!!! NOBODY has it easy!!! we all have something man and just because others may not see it doesn't mean it's not there!!!

"be kind.. for we are all fighting a battle others know nothing about." amen!!

my life has turned out to be nothinggggg of what i thought it was gonna be .. and i'm at a place of acceptance about it now and what a blessing it is to feel at peace more often than not. i think the real definition of serenity is when you stop wishing you had a different past and appreciate what God trusted you to go thru bc He knew Y O U could handle it 🥰

my alcoholism has about damn killed me but i'm resilient and ive been able to help others who battle my demon too; my depression has helped me understand deep sadness and how not running away or being scared of somebody bc of that can really change another persons life for the better.. one conversation can literally save somebody's life so don't underestimate what it means when someone disabled from depresssion reaches out to you bc you could be a life changer to them, i know this from experience. sleep issues suck but i've had a lot of deep, thought provoking conversations at 3a, ill tell ya that! but lately i sleep better bc i'm getting the garbage out of my soul and giving myself some grace. i'm blessed to not hold on to people who left me during my darkest hour bc they weren't meant to see me grow and to take part in my joy now.. it's all how you look at it!! i tried holding on to soooo many people for so long and now i just feel free of that negativity .. and i'm sure some people feel the same about me these last few years.. i was very toxic to some people so they were right to let me go as well. there's always two sides to everything y'all -- like be blessed for those who have let you down!! now you have room for people who are loyal and worth your damn time!! but as i just mentioned, i had to look in the mirror though and humble myself bc at one point or another, i was "that person" on more than one occasion that let somebody down and perspective on that is key to moving forward and not hurting somebody like that again. hurt people hurt people and i was the queen of that. when i get what i feel is a proper amount of time under my belt, i have so many amends to make that its quite.. sick, really. in the 5 years i've been in and out of AA, ive only been told to F off and/or burn in hell twice after trying to make an amends so that's better than i deserve lol most have been receptive of my amends but this will be the second round for some of those same people and i don't expect the same forgiveness i got the first time bc i don't deserve it. i'll also be frank with you .. some people i don't want to make amends to bc i don't feel they deserve it so clearly i still have work to do on my heart and hopefully thru the program and in time, i will feel differently but right now that's honestly how i feel.

to sum it all up, here are some things that help me:

-if you have to hide it, don't do it. -chaos always proceeds change.

-people will treat you with as much respect as you show yourself (thank you Lord for helping me with this one!!)

-validation may come from other people but that's just temporary. if you ain't happy in YOUR heart, with who YOU are.. check your morals and standards my dear! it doesn't matter if the entire world thinks you're great -- you need to KNOW & BELIEVE you are and that begins with the belief system you set for yourself!

- the saying "one foot in front of the other" goes a long way.. act blessed and you'll become blessed; no matter how stupid it sounds in your head, talk kindly to yourself until you believe it -- affirmations work, i swear!!! most importantly, show others grace so you'll eventually show yourself some 💕

i am a sinner but i am not my mistakes. my alcoholic demon is strong but God is stronger.. and thru Him, so am i. without my community from TN to NC to GA, my friends, my family of choice, my medical team and The Lord God, id be an empty shell of a person still at the bottom of a bottle at all hours of the day wanting to die every second i was breathing.. yes, it got that bad more times than i can count so THANK YOU to everyone who has given a shit about me and this crazy life i've had!!! once i realized that roughly 10% of my life is whats happened to me and came to accept that 90% of my life were problems that i created myself, was when i was able to become grateful for all the problems i DONT have & blessed that although some bridges are forever burned, there are many that are not!!! if i continue to act right, i have beautiful opportunities to improve myself and my relationships, the most important one being with God.

i know ive got some haters but i don't view them as enemies anymore bc i don't like harboring anger in my heart anymore .. it doesn't feel good and it only speaks to my own personal insecurity when i've talked poorly of somebody in the past. ive never quoted tupac in my life but there's a first time for everything 🤣 "i want you to eat, just not at my table." to the people i don't like and to those that don't like me, let's pray for each other. everybody deserves happiness and to thrive in their own way.. i'm not gonna be apart of some people's lives and BOTH of us are better because of it! God, i loveeee acceptance!!!! 🙌

above all.. do & be YOU, boo boo!

if it matters any, i think you're pretty great! 😋😙

as alwaysss, much love from knox & prayers to friends in mid tenn!! hope everyone is safe!! 🙏

xoxo

kels

0 notes