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risingmoonyue · 4 years

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An Unconventional Relationship!AU

I uh... I made a thing.

Basically, I read Lucid Dreams on FF.Net, and their cover story spawned this monster of a plunny. Expect stuff in the future, cause I have a fic in the works and at least one presentable piece of fan art (btw it’s fem!Shin)

xxxx

Long story short, Yukiko, Yuusaku and Chikage got waaaaaay too drunk

I mean, it wasn’t like what happened was originally their idea

It just sorta

Happened??

After way too many shots of way too strong alcohol??

So like

After they’re all drunk, they have a thought

Together they’ve got a son (Kaito) and a daughter (Shinichi)

They’ve both got secret identities

They’ve both got a particular dislike for the color black

And one’s a detective and the other’s a magician-thief

What’s more romantic than that??

And clearly they would make amazing beautiful detective-magician-thief grandchildren

So obviously they need to get married

So right after this, they all go on a mega wedding dress/suit shopping trip

Which basically means they spent millions on outfits they were gonna wear once

And probably no one was gonna see if the actual people in question had any say in it

Which

Let’s be real

They probably don’t

Then they go ambush their kids, like, three hours before school starts

And proceed to kickstart one of the most unconventional relationships known to mankind

Purely out of a fit of drunken madness

So, on Shinichi’s side—

Look, she’s had a long day, and it was barely five AM

She was up till three in the morning reading detective novels Ran definitely would never let her read in any normal circumstances considering she’s kinda still seven right now

Got probably less than two hours of sleep

And then she woke up to Edogawa Fumiyo stumbling into their house

Slurring a random excuse

And just

Leaving

Without her coffee

She only got one cup a month now because “it’s bad for kids to drink coffee, Conan-chan!”

And now she’s being dragged off

Without her coffee

And her parents aren’t giving her any answers (as usual)

They’re kidnapping her instead of talking to her like normal people (as usual)

And they decided to include her in their drunken, fanciful whims (as usual)

Really, she’s not sure why she’s surprised anymore

So, after getting no answers and being dragged off into a car ride that miraculously didn’t end in any collateral damage, she’s shoved into a building so fast she can’t even tell where she is

And finds out, hey, they apparently got a temporary antidote from Haibara—and were shoving it down her throat giggling gleefully she wants to run away now why would Haibara betray her like this???

And shoved into a big, poofy wedding gown

And suddenly, she is so, so suspicious

About where she is

And what they are doing

And very much hoping she is wrong

Because mom, dad, what the f***

(And this sounded way too much like them for her liking—)

She still didn’t have her coffee da** it!!!!

And on Kaito’s side—

To be fair, he’s had a better morning

Of sorts

If only because this isn’t the first time she’s been so drunk shenanigans happened

That usually ended in traumatized people

And I mean, he’s already a mind breaking, rule of physics ignoring magician-thief

He breaks minds everyday at school

Just look at Hakuba!

What’s the worst that could happen?

Well, apparently, the worst was her taking away ALL his supplies

ATTACKING his hair

GRAPPLING him into a suit

And waging PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE on him

Saying things like “you’ll absolutely definitely positively love this idea!

And “this is the best idea we’ve ever had!” (Who is the “we” in this equation???)

Really, all he wanted was to prank people a little. Maybe look up Aoko’s skirt. Avoid a witch that kept trying to seduce him. Destroy a jewel of immortality. Simultaneously catch the people that murdered his father.

Was that so much to ask?

Well, MOM, apparently it WAS

Seriously, where were they and why was she shoving him into a suit and where are they going now???

Kaito had a feeling he wasn’t gonna like this any more than all the other times Chikage went three sheets to the wind

And finally, the moment of truth—

So like, they are all finally in the same room

And Shin-chan and Kaito finally see each other

And are like—

“Please don’t tell me this is what I think it is”

And their parents are like—

“Oh honey, it’s exactly what you think it is”

Just……. very drunkenly

With gosh darn tears in their eyes, sniffling while daintily dabbing said eyes and whispering about how this was the happiest days of their lives

Shinichi and Kaito take a moment to share commiserating looks for having to deal with parents like this, because what the f***????

“You too, huh?”

“Yeah.”

So they end up being forced to sign the marriage contract

Because they both know their own respective parent(s)

And they knew they weren’t going anywhere until it was signed

And Shinichi was kinda on a time limit

And would like to know at least what kind of husband she was stuck with (what was her life???)

So they sign the contract to get on with their lives

And go out for coffee and hot chocolate

Because she STILL hasn’t had coffee

Kaito wanted to drown his woes

And they both needed to sit down and talk about what the frick they were gonna do now

Because marriage

And of course Shinichi “Corpse Magnet” Kudo strikes again cutting their talk short

And Kaito learns very quickly what the rest of his life is gonna be like

By the end of it, her time is up, and she’s running off while shoving Kaito her number like—

“Here’s my number gottagohavefunbyeeeeee—”

And Kaito’s just standing there gaping like a fish finny thing thinking “wat dafudge???”

Que months of nervous step-toeing around secret identities—

“Hey, I saw this seven year old that reminds me of you!” “O-oh really? That must be Conan-chan! Great kid, that girl, wish I could see her but I’m not here! At all! Definitely not!” “Uhhh…. okay?”

“Hey, you’re a magician right? Do you do stuff like Kaito KID?” “Yeah, KID-sama’s my idol—” “And Hakuba keeps saying you’re KID??” “I HAVE LIKE THREE ALIBIS I SWEAR SHIN-CHAN HAKUBA’S JUST A STUPID MEANIE HEAD DON’T LISTEN TO HIM—”

Trying to secretly protect each other from suspiciously similar super secret organizations—

“Oh hey, look at that black fedora guy, he has cool hair—” “OH LOOK A COFFEE SHOP I WANT COFFEE LET'S GET COFFEE!”

“At KID’s heist Conan-chan tells me there was a guy with a handlebar mustache, do you know—?” “HA HA FUNNY GUY I THINK THAT WAS JUST AN INTERESTING FAN I’VE SEEN HIM AROUND HE’S A JERK THOUGH YOU BOTH STAY AWAY FROM THAT MEANIE—”

And learning to read each other waaaaay too well

“So today I played a great prank—!” “You put Hakuba into a dress, dyed his hair red, pink, and green, then taped him to the ceiling. Later, you flipped Aoko’s skirt, replaced all the furniture with origami replicas, and screamed like a little girl after Aoko made fish for dinner when you guys got home.” “.....Shin-chan, are you stalking me~? I knew I was amazing but—” “Don’t push it.”

“Oh, I went on a walk today, it was gorgeous!” “Three bodies, two in a river one from the sky.” “......... Kaito. If you sent your stupid birds after me I swear—” “IM NOT STALKING YOU SHIN-CHAN HONEST—”

#dcmk #edogawa conan #kuroba kaito #kaito kid #fem!shinichi #unconventional relationship au #kaishin #i did a thing #theres no going back #arranged marriage #via crazy parents #detective conan #magic kaito

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chariotdunord · 7 years

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tagged by @fyorahime!

boy is this a long tag thingy but I felt like doing it~

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents? yup. sometimes there’s some things that my mom does that I don’t completely agree with but otherwise we get along really well

2. who did you last say “i love you” to? friends on the discord group

3. do you regret anything? yes some, and I have 2 big ones in my life. one of them is not keeping my native chinese, and the other is well... pretty personal

4. are you insecure? eh, kind of. i’m confident enough not to ever fall into low self-esteem pits much, but insecure enough to doubt a lot of my own abilities a lot

5. what is your relationship status? single pringle

6. how do you want to die? quietly in my sleep, surrounded by love ones.

7. what did you last eat? a snow cone!! it was so good

8. played any sports? I did martial arts in high school

9. do you bite your nails? no but I do pick at them a lot 10. when was your last physical fight? never had one

11. do you like someone? ... maybe

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours? nope

13. do you hate anyone at the moment? not really

14. do you miss someone? I kinda miss my brother, who’s at school for the summer

15. have any pets? a little dog named chloe back home but she’s not really mine per se

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment? moderately happy, talking with the discord friends

17. ever made out in the bathroom? haha yes apparently it has to be public restrooms? lol

18. are you scared of spiders? very much

19. would you go back in time if given the chance? probably just to relive some memories, take some pictures

20. last place you made out with someone? don’t even remember

21. what are your plans for this weekend? die from the new little witch episode cus chariot finally reveals herself

22. do you want kids? how many? only if my spouse wants kids! if so then I’d want 2

23. do you have piercings? how many? none

24. what is/are your best subjects? if I were taking any foreign language classes I’m sure those would be, but anyway I do best in my physics classes

25. do you miss anyone from your past? oooooh boy yes quite a few

26. what are you craving rn? motivation to do work

27. have you ever broken someones heart? I think so... and I am very sorry about it now

28. have you ever been cheated on? I don’t think so

29. have you ever made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? ....yeah. again I’m sorry about it now

30. whats irritating rn? my sister keeps asking for bread (she’s an IRL honoka I swear) but I keep telling her she just can’t keep eating bread and she has to eat other things and she keeps eating snacks and so doesn’t have enough room in her tummy for a proper dinner sometimes and >.> I’M TRYIng... to take cARE OF YOU... !!

31. does someone love you? some of my friends tell me they love me regularly... it’s a nice thing ^///^

32. what is your favorite color? blue! lately though I’ve been really liking red

33. do you have trust issues? nah buddy if anything I trust too easily

34. who/what was your last dream about? I never remember any of my dreams anymore man I haven’t remembered a dream waking up in like... months

35. who was the last person you cried in front of? my brother I think?

36. do you give out second chances too easily? I don’t know... maybe?

37. is it easier to forgive or forget? for me it’s easier to forgive. my memory’s too good 38. is this year the best year of your life? well... it’s been pretty darn good so far!

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss? uuuuhhh I think I was 16

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked? lol whut no

(looks like 41-50 is gone *shrug emoji*)

51. favorite food? CANDY!! AND FRUIT!!

52. do you believe everything happens for a reason? yes I do

53. what was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? read a fic

54. is cheating ever okay? no

55. are you mean? gosh I hope not, I do my best

56. have you ever been in a fist fight? nah

57. do you believe in true love? haha yes I do ^^

58. favorite weather? slightly cloudy, between 50-78 degrees, no wind

59. do you like the snow? I LOVE the snow I think it’s beautiful

60. do you wanna get married? yes please

61. is it cute when a girl/boy calls you baby? no it kinda makes me uncomfortable

62. what makes you happy? my daughters honoka, lucina, tsubasa, seeing people loving chariot, spending time with my friends, good snacks/candy and fruit, learning about cool things

65. your bff of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? I’d have to think about it for a bit

66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? I have a lot

67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? discord friend

68. who is the last person you had a deep conversation with? probably my brother if it’s about myself... otherwise a discord friend

69. do you believe in soulmates? I think... who we end up with (if we even do at all) is determined but there isn’t a thing as soulmates

70. is there anyone you’d die for? any of my immediate family members, a few close friends

uuhhh I know this is long but @hatsune-miku-was-here, @theneonflower, @rose-of-the-wind, @theaceofgays, only if y’all want to!!! <3

#shiny talk #me #tag i'm it #about me

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