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heartpascal · 11 months

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WEIGHT TOO HEAVY TO HOLD ALONE

"They're both just kids. But they don't get to be, not in this galaxy."

- The Bad Batch

(r)

• turning out - ajr

"i hope you stick around,

we're gonna figure it out,

who can i turn to now?

when i'm still turning out,

i'm a little kid and so are you,

don't you go and grow up before i do,

i'm a little kid with so much doubt,

do you wanna be there to see how i turn out?"

• matilda - harry styles

"you don't have to go,

you don't have to go home,

oh, there's a long way to go,

i don't believe that time will change your mind,

in other words,

i know they won't hurt you anymore as long as you can let them go,

you can let it go,

you can throw a party full of everyone you know,

you can start a family who will always show you love,

you don't have to be sorry for doing it on your own."

• not about angels - birdy

"how unfair, it's just our luck,

found something real that's out of touch,

but if you'd searched the whole wide world,

would you dare let it go?"

• waves - lewis capaldi

"i watched my wild youth,

disappear in front of my eyes,

moments of magic and wonder,

it seems so hard to find,

is it ever coming back again?

take me back to the feeling when,

everything was left to find,

it comes and goes in waves,

it always does, oh it always does,

and the freedom of falling,

a feeling i thought was set in stone,

it slips through my fingers,

i'm trying hard to let go,

it comes and goes in waves."

• softcore - the neighbourhood

"i'm on the run and you're home alone,

i'm too consumed with my own life,

are we too young for this?

feels like i can't move,

sharing my heart,

it's tearing me apart."

• bigger than the whole sky - taylor swift

"every single thing to come has turned into ashes,

'cause it's all over, it's not meant to be,

so i'll say words i don't believe,

goodbye, goodbye, goodbye,

you were bigger than the whole sky,

you were more than just a short time,

and i've got a lot to pine about,

i've got a lot to live without,

i'm never gonna meet,

what could've been, would've been,

what should've been you."

• exile - taylor swift ft. bon iver

"i think i've seen this film before,

and i didn't like the ending,

i'm not your problem anymore,

so who am i offending now?

you were my crown,

now i'm in exile, seein' you out,

i think i've seen this film before,

so i'm leavin' out the side door."

• just your problem - annapantsu

"is that why you always avoid me?

i must be such an inconvenience to you."

"i'm just your problem and well,

i-i-i shouldn't have to justify what i do,

and i-i-i shouldn't have to prove anything to you,

i'm sorry that i exist,

i forgot what landed me on your blacklist, but,

i-i-i shouldn't have to be the one that makes it up with you."

• never felt so alone - labrinth

"i thought you were my new best friend (my),

wish i knew better then,

who knew you were just out to get me?

my whole world just fell apart,

'cause i never felt so alone, felt so alone, na-na."

• i want too far - aurora

"i had to turn around and walk away,

i couldn't stay, i had to walk away,

i'm left behind with an empty hole,

and everything i am is gone,

i tried to reach for another soul,

so i can feel whole,

oh, give me some love."

• take me home - jess glyne

"wrapped up, so consumed by all this hurt,

if you ask me, don't know where to start,

anger, love, confusion, roads that go nowhere,

i know there's somewhere better,

'cause you always take me there,

came to you with a broken faith,

gave me more than a hand to hold,

caught before i hit the ground,

tell me i'm safe, you've got me now."

(joel)

• it'll all work out (bonus track) - phoebe bridgers

"when she needed me, i wasn't around,

that's the way it goes, it'll all work out,

there were times apart and times together,

i was pledged to her for worse or better,

when it mattered most, i let her down,

that's the way it goes, it'll all work out,

it'll all work out eventually,

better off with him than here with me."

• waiting room - phoebi bridgers

"and i can wish all that i want, but it won't bring us together,

plus i know whatever happens to me, i know it's for the better."

"i know it's for the better,

know it's for the better,

know it's for the better."

• angels like you - miley cyrus

"i know that you're wrong for me,

gonna wish we never met on the day i leave."

"it's not your fault i ruin everything (everything),

and it's not your fault i can't be what you need,

baby, angels like you can't fly down hell with me, oh."

howl i cannot tell you how much i have missed this <3 you always have amazing song recs i love listening to them :’)LETS GET STARTED!!!!

turning out - “im a little kid with so much doubt do you wanna be there to see how i turn out” ……. what if i told you that is like .. the most emotional lyric maybe ever. when you want that father figure to just see you grow up and you just want him to be proud of whoever you turn out to be … yeah its them.

matilda - ok so i went to a harry styles concert last year and the AMOUNT of people who sobbed through this song … theyre valid. you can let it go 😭 you can throw a party full of everyone you know 😭 you can start a family who will always show you love 😭 do you hear that??? that’s me sobbing. you dont have to go .. you dont have to go home… WHAT IF I DID A APRT TWO WIUTH THATR IN MIND. sobs. not ok ,.

not about angels - the way ive heard this song so many times but never realised it was by birdy … anyway. also “dont give me up” my babe r has been SILENTLY PLEADING like joel pls

waves - guys . im sorry . these songs r so :’) . i will write something happy one day promise (dont hold me to that) can we take a moment to mention “but there is a light in the dark and i feel its warmth in my hands and my heart why cant i hold on?” GORRRRL. what. im sorry i make my fics so angsty omg this is so :( why cant i hold on is it ever coming back again ???? HELLO. THE ANGST POTENTIAL.

softcore - ARE WE TOO YOUNG FOR THIS (yes reader is but alas an apocalyptic world is just too good of an opportunity of angst to pass up) sharing my heart its tearing me apart 😭 r when they finally get comfortable and let ppl in and then they’re basically rejected ……

bigger than the whole sky - what should’ve been you (joel should’ve been r’s dad full STOP like joel please just give in already (i say as if i didnt write it)) ive got a lot to live without :(((( r has NOTHINGGGG im sorry i havbe to apologise for this one

exile - “im not your problem anymore so who am i offending now?” ????? what if i shed a tear. the bitterness when u apply this to reader. they r so … angry. upset. enraged. not my kid!!! like goddamn joel did you have to make them seem like such a burden to you ???? the emotion. if taylor swift existed in the apocalypse i think r would be listening to her a whole lot (which is saying a lot tbh bc i am not a t swift fan)

just your problem - once again the whole idea of joel implying reader was “must be such an inconvenience!!!!” for him … howl i think you have hit the nail on the head with these songs im ngl. you always slay but these. these r so … ACCURATE AND REAL. “i shouldn’t have to be the one that makes up with you” so real and so true this one is up to JOEL. he better be begging tbh. down on those creaky knees. forgiveness is not coming easy to this man.

never felt so alone - ok but can you imagine being put in that situation … “my whole world just fell apart / ‘cause i never felt so alone” LIIIKEEE??? just think on it . like how isolating that would be. losing all those people who had become r’s world in one swoop simply because mr joel miller was insecure about his fatherly abilities. like joel, tommy and ellie ???? how is r gonna face any of them after that … so so isolating and so so angsty im so :(

i went too far - gorrrrrrllll. “i tried to reach for another soul” (r trying to connect w joel and form a relationship by joining for dinner and getting him painkillers) “so i can feel whole” (so they could experience family!!!!!!!!) “oh give me some love” (r to joel: pls be my dad. pls be my family. pls dont leave me. pls reciprocate the connection i want to feel. pls.)

take me home - i know i didnt explicitly say anything in the fic but i think it was heavily referenced that r was not doing well when they went to joel and ellie originally, and that was why tommy sent them there. but erm “came to you with a broken faith , gave me more than a hand to hold” …….. sobbing. r thought they finally had a family and joel just had to ruin it. guys. if i write another part do we get the “oh, will you take me home?” moment. will we wont we will we wont we!!!

JOEL SONGS HOWL THE JOEL SONGS!!!

it’ll all work out - “when she needed me i wasnt around” THIS. this. joel you foolish old man. he fails his kids the most by believing they’ll be better off without him. its true. “when it mattered most i let her down” ….. he did tho. “that’s the way it goes, itll all work out” i honestly believe that joel (fictional character yes but shhh) believes that sentiment. that itll all work out in the end EVEN IF IT WONT. “itll all work out eventually / better off with him than here with me” this is so joel coded. this lyric. its so joel miller. because he BELIEVES THIS SHIT. he does. this in reference to joel believing r will be better off alone with tommy around rather than with him. this man ……. hes so …. he’ll get there. but honestly HOWL!!!! this may just be the MOST joel coded song ive had from you so far i think. it fits so well. im in love.

waiting room - “plus i know whatever happens to me, i know its for the better” oh no. oh NO. oh. no. i might just cry with this song like this one … its erm. its. it is. joel miller is such a silly old man :( ITS NOT FOR THE BETTER JOEL. god. i cant .

angels like you - “gonna wish we never met on the day i leave” i hate to say it but r kinda does wish they never met him ….. “its not your fault i ruin everything” 😭 “and its not your fault i cant be what you need” 😭 why does joel think that (bc i made him) LIKE HE IS NOTHING BUT A FATHER AT HEART. he is self destructing personified he really is. i want to say he has the best intentions BUT LIKE. the intention is to protect r from him . listen his heart is kinda in the right place. anyway. this song is so :( like joel just let you ADN r have this its what you both want i-

ALSO AS ALWAYS THANK U SM HOWL I LOVE YOU. i have missed you and your amazing pedro signing off gifs sm. i LOVE responding to your song rec asks :’) ill probably do the atsv one tomorrow!!! much love everybody, hoping to get a howl recs masterpost out ASAP. LOVE YOU ALL.

#heartpascal says #howl <3 #howl’s song recs #gorrrrrlll these ones were so so good #as always but still #SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG!!!#i like spending time listening and looking at lyrics to answer these yk #it takes TIME i gotta appreciate you and your efforts and your song recs #gotta try and do them jsutive fr #ANYWAY #GOING TO SLEEP WILL SPEAK WITH YALL SOON PROBABLY

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