#i knew it would be 8-9 before even looking at the website HAHA
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Annual Writing Self Evaluation
Thank you for the tag @louandhazaf!!! I’m honestly clutching my chest that you tagged me, so thank you xxx especially since i love this little self eval that i think @juliusschmidt came up with all those years ago and we just keep perpetuating it haha
this... is going to get long, though. since it asks me to list my works published this year and that is 24. so. here goes.
1. List of works published this year:
Swerve the Handshake (Nick/Louis)
Need So Much of You (Harry/Louis for @onedirectionbigbang)
You're A (Total) Distraction (girl!direction and hybrid Harry/Louis for @wallsficfest)
Always Keep You Next To Me (Greg/Louis for @wallsficfest)
With Your Hand In Mine (Nick/Louis for @wallsficfest)
Smells Like Omega Spirit (Harry/Louis for @1daboficfest)
If Only We Wish Hard Enough (Harry/Louis for @disneydirectionfest)
Political Pizza (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)
Talk the Night Through (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)
Wrinkles (Harry/Louis for @1000feelingsfics)
Would You Be My Girlfriend? (girl!direction Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)
Lately You've Been On My Mind (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)
Don't Want It Any Other Way (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)
I'm Ready for the Worst (Greg/Louis for @louisandmenfest)
Loving You's the Antidote (Nick/Harry/Louis for @finelineficfest)
Do You Know Who You Are? (Harry/Louis for @finelineficfest)
Don't You Call Him (What You Used To Call Me) (Harry/Louis for @finelineficfest)
Gone Too Long (From You) (Harry/Louis co-written with @fallinglikethis for @finelineficfest)
Just Me and the Stars Can Get Lonely (Niall/Rory McIlroy for @heartbreakweatherficfest)
The Way You Bend the Rules (Niall/Rory McIlroy for @heartbreakweatherficfest)
And Then I Saw His Face (Harry/Louis for @1dtrickortreatfest)
I'mma Give You A Promotion (Nick/Louis)
What You Waiting For? (Nick/Harry for @1000feelingsfics)
(I'm Dreaming of a) One Night Inn (Harry/Louis, Zayn/Liam, Niall/Shawn)
2. Work you are most proud of (and why):
every time i think about this question i’ve got a different answer, to be honest. i do think my I Go Down Blazing, Feeling Like I'm Going Crazy series is probably what i’m most proud of, though. as soon as i knew @runaway-train-works was going to be hosting the heartbreak weather fic fest, i knew i wanted to write dear patience, but as the idea grew and grew and more ideas solidified and i realized what the story was turning into, i realized it was so much more than i originally thought and i needed a second song to help me fully get a solid grasp on it. in the end, it was a hard duo of fics to write, mainly because i honestly don’t know much of anything about golf, i was still trying to create fully the way soulmates worked in the world, and there’s just not all that much about rory online to find, so i was winging it haha but i’m so incredibly happy with the world i made and the fics i wrote, even if i don’t know that they’ll ever get to like 200 hits or whatever hahaha i love them.
3. Work you are least proud of (and why):
uhhhhh you know looking at this list of fics i have, i’m actually proud of every single one for some reason and i don’t know if there’s any of them that i’d even label as “least proud”.
4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:
i hate this question and forget that it is on this list every year lollll let me see if i can find something i really like. okay i found one, it’s from my long grouis haha and i’m apologizing now for it being so long. you can skip ahead to the next question if you like, but i’m just incredibly proud of the banter and the way i wrote this section, PLUS those damn joggers actually happened because he posted a photo of himself wearing them in the shops on instagram and that inspired this entire thing so. enjoy. (i’ve italicized it and indented it to hopefully make it easier to skip it’s so long i’m so sorry)
“It’s safe for you to come back in here,” Louis called out as he closed his computer.
“Thank goodness, I was getting so exhausted of hiding in your bedroom and snooping through all your shit,” Greg said as he walked out wearing a sheet mask and a pair of grey joggers that did nothing to hide what he was packing.
Louis smirked and wanted to say something, but Greg kept going.
“Did you know you have like five different deodorants in there?”
Louis threw his arm on the back of his couch and nodded.
“Why?” Greg asked, throwing himself down onto the couch and placing his stupidly long legs on top of Louis’. “Who legitimately needs five different deodorants? Do they have different uses or something? Some were even women’s deodorants, so I wasn’t sure if they were your sisters’ or what. Oh, and I helped myself to one of your fancy toners. It had rosewater in it or something.”
“Well, for the deodorants I just like trying different scents and I switch them up based on my mood. And actually, the one I use most often is a women’s deodorant. It works great. Plus I smell fresh and clean like baby powder all day.” Louis shrugged. “And that wasn’t my toner. Dunno who left it. Just showed up one day and no one says it’s theirs, so I kept it. It’s quite nice, isn’t it? Lotts said it’s supposed to help even out the PH balance of my skin or some shit, but I’ll be fucked if I know what that actually means.”
“Oh, that does sound fancy,” Greg agreed, checking the time on his phone. “I’ve got five more minutes on this mask, don’t let me forget. Don’t want to leave it on so long it burns my skin off or summat.”
“Sure,” Louis said, laughing. “So are you actually wearing anything under these or are you just that excited to see me?”
“Eh?” Greg asked before looking down at his crotch. Of course, now he was sitting down it didn’t show anything. “What are you on about?”
“Stand back up and look in a mirror, mate,” Louis said, laughing. “You’re dick was trying to tell me hello a minute ago.”
“I didn’t tell it to do that,” Greg muttered as he shifted so he could stand back up again. He walked into Louis’ bedroom, and Louis could hear when he’d seen himself. “Oh my God, that’s obscene! Does it always look like that when I wear these?”
Louis laughed and walked into his bedroom to see Greg’s eyes wide as he shifted himself around and walked a bit, appalled that no matter what he did, nothing seemed to make it any less there.
“I wouldn’t know, I’ve never seen you in those. You usually nick a pair of mine,” Louis reminded him. “Do you wear them without pants often?”
“I never wear pants with these,” Greg said, rubbing his forehead. “Fuck, I’ve likely given that nan that lives below me too many looks at my cock without even realising it. They’re my softest, most favorite pair of joggers! I wear them to the shops when I’m too knackered to get fully dressed!”
As Greg continued to narrate the various escapades he’d had over the years in the joggers without even realising what he’d been doing, Louis settled onto his bed, propping himself up on his elbow so he could still watch Greg as he motioned about in distress.
When it was clear Greg wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon, Louis pulled out his phone and started filming. There was no one he could share this with, but it would be good for a laugh later on.
“Fuck, and you didn’t remind me to take off my mask!” Greg cried, rushing back into the bathroom to remove the sheet mask and do whatever else he had to do when he used them.
Greg was proper obsessed with them, said they were relaxing and kept his skin soft. Louis just liked knowing they were one of Greg’s things, like taking regular baths with a bottle of wine and perusing various adoption websites for dogs he could possibly give a good home to.
“Sorry, love,” Louis said, as Greg walked back out of the bathroom. He really was sorry, but he also couldn’t pass up the opportunity to keep taking the piss. Greg was too much fun to rile up. “Was distracted by your big dick flopping about whilst you remembered all the good times you’d had in the joggers.”
5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:
i’ve had a few this year that told me they don’t usually read that pairing or they don’t usually comment on fics, but for various reasons they gave the pairing a try or wanted to comment because of something specific and those were particularly lovely. that said, every comment is so so great, they really do boost me up to see them and i need to do better with getting my anxiety in hand and responding to them regularly.
6. A time when writing was really, really hard:
this entire damn year, man. all of the time i’d carefully carved out for myself over the past few years to write was basically blown to shit with the pandemic, which also was so exhausting it didn’t leave me with much energy to write. but i still somehow posted 24 fics?? i dunno, dude. i think writing saved me and gave me something to look forward to, tbh.
7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:
most of my advent fic, tbh lollll a lot that was in there wasn’t really brainstormed ahead of time, it just happened, and i forgot some of the details even because i just flat out didn’t remember what i’d put in there, so i’m STILL surprised haha i love when fics happen like that
8. How did you grow as a writer this year:
i always think of challenges as fun and then i look back and wonder if i was insane because i thought it would be fun to try something new but it was mostly really fucking hard haha i wrote a lot of pairings and combinations of tropes this year that i never have before as well as stretching myself with writing emotions and situations i never have before, so i’m quite proud of myself for continuing to push the envelope and try new things like that.
9. How do you hope to grow next year:
i mostly hope that i’ll be able to carve more time out for myself as things HOPEFULLY settle down a bit more. i might not be as impulsive when it comes to choosing things to write at that point, but we’ll see. lol
10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):
i... hmm. there’s a lot of people i’m thinking of right now, but it’s hard to choose just one. i think actually there were two and they were @louandhazaf and @disgruntledkittenface. i very much admire both of them for their own writing and works, but i am particularly inspired by how many pairings they write and the variety of fics they have posted. it’s definitely because of them that i’ve tried writing a lot of the pairings that i have, and that’s before you even start to look at the help they’ve given me with betaing certain fics (usually rare pairs lollll). they’re just both so supportive and open to so many things, and i am so much more open to all sorts of things because of them. i CANNOT answer this without mentioning the Write Your Way Out GC either, though. Y’all are my crew in SO many ways and you let me rely on you in every way through this past year. it really does take a village, doesn’t it?
11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:
lmao i’m sure. but all i’m thinking of at the moment are the tumblr posts and canon compliant shit i based the fics on, so nothing off the top of my head apparently haha
12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:
hell if i know. maybe just... write for yourself. i think that’s why i’m so proud of every fic i wrote this year. i really was writing for me and if others like it too? bonus.
13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:
my big bang!!! that’s the big one. i’m so excited for it. i have a whole list of other fics, too, though. hahaha i’m also super SUPER excited for both of my omega harry fics to post hehe
14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read.
@becomeawendybird @sadaveniren @londonfoginacup
*All answers should be about works published in 2020. Also, you can skip any questions you hate or don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can do them if they want.
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can you also do a director's commentary on "Fool for You"? 🐠 this is one of my favs 🥰
Yeah! Thank you for asking about this one! Since it’s over 6k words I’ll just grab the interesting parts, I hope that’s okay! Link on AO3.
First of all, I will just say, I was shocked by the response to this fic. I wrote it for Froststrange Week earlier this year, and it was by far the fluffiest fic I wrote for that event. It’s one of the fluffiest things I’ve written ever. I was actually nervous to post it...and I’ve written some very dark stuff that didn’t even give me pause before hitting the post button on AO3, haha. But this one? I distinctly remember my palms getting sweaty (gross) and having to walk away from my computer after I posted it, because I was so freaked out. But people liked it! It was probably my most popular Froststrange Week fic.
Onto the fic...
Loki craned his head, staring upwards as the massive shark moved smoothly and silently through the water overhead. He’d never seen anything like it, despite his one thousand and sixty years in the universe. It moved off, disappearing over rocks dappled with slow, turquoise sunlight.
“It’s a whale shark,” Stephen informed him, staring down at an informational plaque posted along the walkway. Loki had read all of them so far, but he’d stopped dead in his tracks in the glass tunnel when he’d seen the shark, too awed by it to move. Ahead of them and behind them, the screams and excited voices of school groups echoed, but the two of them were in a lull between throngs.
The prompts for the day that I used were ‘firsts’ and ‘aquarium date.’ The aquarium part was a no brainer for me, because I head canon that Loki is a big nature lover, and that he particularly loves the ocean.
Rays sailed through the water alongside the shark. Those, Loki was more familiar with. They’d had them on Asgard. Extinct now, of course. All of Asgard’s species, all its plants, animals, insects, all of it, were extinct. It was a depressing thought.
Okay, well, this is a fluffy fic, but obviously I’m incapable of writing pure fluff. It’s Loki, so there has to be some angst.
Always prone to depressing thoughts, Loki was. He looked at the whale shark again, then at Stephen, leaning over the plaque and reading it—mostly for Loki’s benefit, so the two of them could talk about it. That made Loki’s heart swell. His sadness would always be with him, but his happiness sat next to it, bright and blinding. Stephen Strange, Sorcerer Supreme, Guardian of the New York Sanctum, human sorcerer and ridiculously, heart-poundingly beautiful man, was responsible for much of it.
Loki is really, really in love. And he can finally be free about admitting it.
Turning around, Stephen met Loki’s eyes and said, “So, the Georgia Aquarium was a good choice?”
In preparation to write this fic, I googled what the world’s best aquariums were. I knew the Georgia Aquarium was a big deal (both from living in north Florida for a time and just...being a person who likes zoos and aquariums), but I wanted to see if there were others. Obviously, Stephen can go anywhere, so for their first date, he would take Loki to the best of the best. The Georgia Aquarium does consistently appear at the very top of aquarium lists (others were Monterey Bay and one in...Dubai, I think?).
I spent a lot of time on the Georgia Aquarium’s website. It’s a huge place and has lots of different aquariums, so I had to choose the one they would spend most of their time at. The website has webcams on a lot of the aquariums, so I actually watched them while I was writing.
[...] This place made one want to learn about Earth’s oceans, which might make them less prone to destroying them. Since he’d taken up permanent residence on Earth, Loki had learned to love it—and he’d grown increasingly aware that humanity was rather short-sighted about the planet they lived on.
Loki the environmentalist.
Then again, somehow he doubted that if Hela had been better educated about Asgard’s mollusk population, she would have decided not to take over and kill everyone.
This line always makes me laugh.
[...] “Good,” Stephen said. “I figured you’d like it. But, you know. First date and everything. I wanted to get it right.”
The squirming in Loki’s stomach turned to a full explosion of butterflies. First date. Could two people have a first date when they’d already exchanged avowals of love? Hadn’t that been the first date? Or perhaps their first date had been years ago, without either of them quite knowing it?
It’s always a balance for me to write these fics that take place in the ‘future,’ as compared to where I am in the chronological writing of this verse. I just finished fic #6 in my series, which takes place in 2027. This fic takes place in 2030. The avowals of love Loki refers to hear is from the end of the last fic in the series, ‘The General Mess and Imprecision of Feeling,’ and is when the two of the officially get together. They unknowingly going on their first date years ago is a reference to the fact that the two of them have been doing date-like activities with each other for years, just with neither of them admitting it. One of my other fics for Froststrange Week is actually one of these instances (‘far away from here and closer to somewhere else,’ where they run into each other in Hong Kong and get drunk together). In fic #8 (which I’m working on now), they end up spending the day together in London. In fic #9, they spend a lot of Thor and Jane’s wedding together.
He craned his head up to stare at the top of the glass tunnel,
They’re in the Ocean Voyager aquarium.
suddenly not knowing what to say, feeling as though he might make a fool of himself. A sea turtle swam by slowly, the underside of its shell gleaming like the moon. The truth was that he’d probably made a fool of himself in front of Stephen so many times that it no longer even registered to him.
Or maybe… Loki looked over at him. Stephen was watching him, a look in his eyes that made warmth spread through Loki. Maybe Stephen didn’t actually find Loki foolish. Maybe he never had.
The idea of Loki being a sentimental fool is something that pops up pretty constantly in my fics. Here, Loki is thinking of times he’s actually looked stupid in front of Stephen, real and imagined. He has the wherewithal to recognize that maybe a lot of them are imagined, and that even the real humiliations don’t make Stephen view Loki as a fool.
“How did you know I would like this?” Loki asked.
[...] “Remember the time we went to the Museum of Natural History?”
“Yes.” Loki raised an eyebrow at him. “You really played tour guide quite often, didn’t you?”
Giving Loki an amused look, Stephen said, “It seemed like the decent thing to do. I had royalty living at my house.”
[...] “Silly me,” Loki said. “I thought it might be because you had a bit of a thing for me back then.” Stephen shot him a crooked smile. It wasn’t agreement. But it certainly wasn’t denial, either.
Stephen definitely did have a thing for Loki back then. Loki had a thing for him, too. By the time Loki leaves the Sanctum, they’re in love with each other, though neither of them has quite realized it yet. Stephen realizes much sooner then Loki (surprise).
[...] If Loki was being honest, he’d been mildly terrified that he would arrive at the Sanctum and Stephen would do something—look at him in some way, speak to him in a way that was just a bit false—that Loki would know that Stephen had thought about it and decided that they’d made a terrible mistake and he was looking for a way to extricate himself from their new…relationship. Romance. Whatever it was.
This is Loki’s constant fear. It takes him a long, long time to stop worrying about it. It’s his fear with everyone, though. Boil Loki down to his bare essentials, and you get a giant heart and massive abandonment issues.
Loki snorted with laughter and then grinned at Stephen. “Your expression, honestly, Strange. I’ve seen you face far greater foes with much less fear.”
[...] Shrugging, Stephen said, “Kids. Not really my thing.”
“It’s not as though you need to bring them home.”
[...] “I enjoy the chaos that children cause.”
“You might be the only person here who’s enjoying the decibel level of that pack of kids,” Stephen said.
Loki actually really likes kids! And Stephen doesn’t at all.
Loki flashed a grin at him, thought about making a joke about having children, and then dismissed it. It would be a joke, because the last thing Loki wanted right now, possibly ever, was a child that he could pass all his hang-ups to. His own upbringing had been…a challenge. He doubted his ability to overcome it.
My main interest in the two of them ever having a child lies in exploring Loki’s issues with his own father.
[Stephen reveals his big surprise...is that he booked an aquarium sleepover] It was more than Loki didn’t know what to think. What was an aquarium sleepover? Sleeping here? They allowed people to do that? Had this cost extra money? Stephen didn’t have any money, so why would he spend extra on something like this?
You really can do aquarium sleepovers at the Georgia Aquarium! It’s actually not that expensive, but Loki knows that Stephen’s only income is a stipend from Kamar-Taj. Stephen has nothing at all left over from his pre-wizard days and he depends entirely on that stipend.
[...] The two of them continued through the aquarium, visiting each gallery in turn. Even though Loki was quite sure Stephen’s interest in all of this was limited, he never gave any indication that he was bored. He seemed, actually, entirely taken by Loki’s enthusiasm, and that was a feeling that Loki had certainly never experienced.
I really tapped into that brand-new relationship feeling for this fic, haha.
The number of healthy romantic relationships that Loki had experienced was…pretty close to zero, so there had never been someone who had been interested both in sleeping with him and in seeing him enjoying his interests.
It actually is zero. Loki has never had a healthy romantic relationship. He’s hedging here because the romantic encounters he’s had that approach healthy count to him as relationships.
They ate dinner at the aquarium café, which was serviceable but nothing special. At least, the food was nothing special. It was the first time Loki and Stephen had eaten dinner together as a couple. Gods. Loki felt like an adolescent. He was eating a veggie burger and Stephen was eating chicken tenders, with drinks they’d filled themselves out of a fountain machine, and somehow it was the most romantic dinner he’d ever had. Stephen’s knee pressed against Loki’s under the table and he leaned forward like he couldn’t stand that the table top had put a couple feet of space between them.
In other words, Loki could have been eating just the ketchup packets that had been provided to him on his tray, and he would have been happier than he’d ever been in his life.
This is one of my favorite parts of the whole fic. Anyone who’s ever been crazy about a new romantic partner has had this experience, I think.
[Stephen conjures butterflies for the kids they encountered earlier] Suddenly, thousands of blue butterflies burst from within the half-spheres, swirling in a bright blue stream across the ceiling and amongst the children, whose delighted shrieks made their teachers wilt. The butterflies flitted, azure and lapis, iridescent, bobbing on air currents, until they turned to wisps of light and disappeared.
I rarely make use of the whole butterfly thing with Stephen, primarily because I tend to associate it with another Stephen ship (which is one of my NOTPs), but...it’s nice, right? I wanted to use it. A butterfly also appears in Doctor Strange, so it’s imagery that seems to be sort of associated with him.
[left alone in the gallery for their sleepover...] Loki looked around. “Shouldn’t there be other people here?” he asked.
Stephen looked immensely satisfied with himself. “Nope. We get the whole gallery to ourselves.”
Furrowing his brow, Loki asked, “How? Did you buy all the tickets?” This seemed as though it would have been exorbitantly expensive.
Still looking enormously pleased, Stephen said, “I might have played the Sorcerer Supreme card.”
“No one knows what the Sorcerer Supreme does.”
“Okay, fine. I said I was an Avenger.”
My head canon is that Stephen is pretty disdainful of the Avengers. He definitely doesn’t want to be part of the ‘team.’ He’s a loner by nature. Definitely the guy who hated group projects, because he was the one that got stuck doing all the work. This loner quality is something that Loki and Stephen have in common.
[...] Loki buried his nose in Stephen’s hair and breathed in his scent, his shampoo that smelled like sandalwood, the cologne he had definitely put on today, cedar and faintly citrusy. Norns, he smelled good.
Loki first associates the smell of sandalwood with Stephen in Sleight of Hand (it’s right at the end of chapter 12). His cologne makes an appearance in my fic ‘Afterimage,’ which is the fifth fic in my series.
[...] Loki took the sleeping bags from Stephen and undid the ties on them, which were knotted far too tightly for Stephen to loosen.
Stephen actually being affected by his disability is always important for me to include.
[...] Loki laughed. Maybe none of the other Masters thought Stephen was funny, but Loki had always found his sense of humor addictive, sly and surprising, and perfectly suited to Loki’s own.
This is a callback to Stephen’s and Wong’s exchange in Doctor Strange:
“People used to think I was funny.”
“Did they work for you?”
[...] There were other things in the bag—a change of clothes for tomorrow, toothbrushes, toothpaste, some over-the-counter medications. When Stephen went to the bathroom to change, Loki snooped more thoroughly. Razor blade, shaving cream, nail clippers, a little bottle of mouthwash, a bottle of cologne. Loki decided to pop the cap open and smell that, then tried to tell himself that the feeling that washed over him could be described in some other way than ‘a swoon.’ There was nothing in the bag that implied Stephen thought they’d be doing anything tonight but sleeping.
I really love this because it’s really not particularly above board for Loki to snoop through Stephen’s bag...but it is a very Loki thing to do. And pretty human. Especially because he’s looking for condoms and lube. Of course he is! They’re spending the night together...are they Spending The Night Together?
[...] Stephen looked at the foot of empty space separating the two sleeping bags, then glanced up at Loki. “Are you comfortable with…” he began, then trailed off, before trying again, “I mean, do you want to be…further away…?”
“Do you?” Loki asked. When Stephen hesitated, Loki took a guess about what the honest answer was, then reached out and tugged Stephen’s sleeping bag until it was right next to his.
Stephen is big on enthusiastic consent. Loki is far more willing to take his chances and guess based on body language.
Eventually, they drew apart, and Loki couldn’t help suspecting it had something to do with the way Stephen seemed to be keeping his hips pulled back just a little. Temptation. If Loki reached down…
But no. Instead, he very deliberately folded an arm under his head, resting his head on his bicep. Stephen did something that looked like it was probably a clothing or anatomy adjustment to accommodate a situation, but Loki didn’t comment. Quite honesty, he had his own situation down there, and it just felt like good manners not to say anything.
I honestly have no idea what guys would do in this situation. Just guessing based on both of their personalities. Is a first date too soon to admit, ‘Hey, you just gave me a boner?’ It feels like it is?
Neither of them spoke for a minute or two. They simply stared at each other. Then, Stephen said gently, “I know you’re worried.”
“Worried?” Loki raised an eyebrow. “What do you think I’m worried about?”
Stephen’s gaze didn’t waver. “This.” When Loki pressed his lips together, Stephen added, “You think I’m going to change my mind. Right?”
No one has ever gotten Loki the way Stephen gets him. And Stephen is very patient, very gentle, and very like...you know when you pspspspsps and hold your hand out to a cat? That’s Stephen with Loki, haha.
[...] “The reasons are myriad, of course [for Loki’s insecurity]. I’ve made poor choices. But yes. In part, it’s because I’m…challenging. And people change their minds.”
Oh hey look, it’s the author projecting.
[...] But Loki was greedy. He didn’t want to say in a few months, or a few years, This was great while it lasted.
There’s something kind of sad to me about the idea that Loki can’t even view his love for Stephen as an entirely good thing. He’s a sentimental fool, he’s overly romantic, he’s greedy. And if I wanted to go this route, I could easily make Loki very co-dependent in this relationship; it would be easy to turn it really unhealthy. But I don’t want to, haha. It makes sense that Loki would feel like he has to gorge himself on Stephen’s adoration of him, because he’s never really had this before, not from someone he wants to be with (other people have loved him, but he hasn’t loved them back).
He would already have to give it up too soon, because he would outlive Stephen by such a long time. And he already knew there would never be anyone else.
There isn’t. Stephen will die, and Loki won’t ever be with anyone else. Luckily for him, he gets Stephen back eventually.
Stephen leaned forward and kissed Loki softly; the most tender, most heartfelt kiss Loki had ever experienced. “Don’t worry,” he murmured, his lips warm against Loki’s.
It was difficult not to deepen the kiss, difficult not to kiss Stephen harder. He’d never needed anything to be true as much as he needed this to be true, or at least it felt like it. Don’t worry. But Loki always worried. All the good things in his life still felt so fragile, as though they could implode at any moment.
Though—he supposed he was getting better at not actively sabotaging them himself.
This is part of Loki’s arc in my fic. Stephen and he aren’t together until Loki heals in a lot of other ways. One of them is not trying to blow things up so he can control their destruction.
Thank you so much for asking!! Sorry for the delay in responding.
Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut
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1045
surveys by lets-make-surveys
1 - What did you do to celebrate your last birthday? Did you get any decent gifts?
Guh I honestly barely want to recognize my birthday this year because 2020 has been a huge waste of my time...but fine, I guess I’m 22. It had been during the peak of the quarantine/pandemic, so we had no choice but to stay home. I just played the Switch all morning, then I think I watched my dad play video games, and then Angela and Hans sent over a box of sushi to our place. Real chill day.
2 - What was the last “random act of kindness” you experienced?
It was my first day at the office today and I had to go up and down the stairs several times to bring packages to delivery riders, since I had to send those out to certain people. A member of the maintenance staff in the area was super nice and offered to carry some of the boxes for me, since he saw how much I was struggling with the boxes.
3 - Have you ever “paid it forward” by putting money behind the counter somewhere so the next person can get a free coffee or similar?
Not yet. I’d love to be able to do that soon.
4 - What caused the last injury that made you bleed? Was it a serious injury?
I was trying to open a bottle of soju last night but the cap just would not budge. Next thing I knew my finger was already bleeding. Never got to drink my soju :(
5 - Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Are you close to that person at all?
One of the delivery riders who took my package earlier. Bless his soul, he was very new to the delivering thing and I think I was his first-ever customer, and he kept asking for my help. I did my best for a while but eventually I had to tell him I genuinely did not know how to answer some of his questions as I wasn’t a driver myself.
6 - What was the last item you received in the mail?
Something I had ordered online. It was the gift I’m planning to give my grandma for Christmas.
7 - When was the last time you received flowers? What kind were they?
A year ago, I think. It was a single stem of a rose. We were saving up last year hahaha so I had gotten her a single stem as well.
8 - Are you a fan of salted caramel? What about other “odd” combinations like sea salt and chocolate or chilli and chocolate?
Ooh, I didn’t know salted caramel was considered odd; it’s a pretty common flavor here and has even gotten more popular in the last few years. I like it as a flavor in desserts, like cupcakes with salted caramel frosting. When it comes to food, I’m generally open-minded and will try any combination that exists at least once; that said, chili and chocolate sound especially intriguing haha. I’ve only ever tried chili ice cream, which was delicious.
9 - Do you enjoy watching bloopers or outtakes from TV shows? If so, which series do you think has the funniest ones?
Yes. Bloopers in general are great but it’s best when they come from shows that have a reputation for being more drama-heavy and serious - that said, Breaking Bad bloopers are the fucking best. ‘Bloopers’ from animated movies are hilarious too; they were always made so well too that as a kid, I legit thought the characters were actual actors as it never crossed my mind that animators would take the extra effort and time to make bloopers out of fictional characters and that they had to be real actors in some way lol.
10 - What’s your favourite dessert food?
OMG macarons for the win. I’ve been craving them so much. Cheesecake is great too, and also cupcakes.
11 - Do you have any really dangerous wild animals where you live? Have you ever encountered any of them?
Nope only stray dogs and cats, and probably some chickens somewhere.
12 - Have you ever dreamed of owning your own shop? What kind of thing would you like to sell?
I’ve never dreamed of this; it’s never been a goal of mine and running a business doesn’t sound like my kind of thing.
13 - Are you a twin? If not, would you ever want to be a twin? If you are a twin, do you ever wish you weren’t?
No. I’ve never really found myself wishing for it, either.
14 - Do you prefer wearing your hair straight or curly?
Maybe just a little wavy. Definitely not in the extreme of either side of the spectrum.
15 - Would you ever want to go and visit the moon?
If I had the chance and everything was paid for and stuff, hell yeah. It’d be cool to get to cross out one of my childhood bucket list items.
16 - What was the last hot drink you had? What about cold drink? Or alcoholic drink?
My last hot drink was...probably the coffee I asked my mom to make last Friday, but I did wait it out until it was considerably cooler as I didn’t want to drink it hot. My last cold drink is the iced caramel macchiato I ordered tonight and still have with me at the moment. Then for alcoholic drink, I had soju mixed with Yakult about two weeks ago.
17 - Does anything on your body hurt or ache right now?
My lower back, unsurprisingly. I also cut my right middle finger trying to open a soju bottle last week, andddd I gained a blister on my right foot today because of the shoes I picked to wear for work.
18 - When was the last time you struggled to get to sleep? Was there was a specific reason for that?
I can’t remember exactly when, but it happened within the last week or the last two weeks. Sometimes I just drink too much coffee during the day that it affects how sleepy I’d ultimately feel at night.
19 - What three countries would you most like to visit?
Morocco, India, and Thailand.
20 - Who’s your closest friend from another country? How did you come to meet this person?
I don’t really have one anymore...I’ve grown apart from my internet friends from different countries a long time ago, and I also don’t tend to keep up friendships with my friends who’ve since migrated from the Philippines to another country. I suppose the one I’m on best terms with is Angel who migrated to Toronto around a decade ago; but I use ‘best’ very loosely as the most we do is comment on one another’s posts whenever we reach like a life accomplishment, like when we graduated college.
21 - When was the last time you had a cold? With everything going on in the news, did you worry that it was COVID?
It’s been a while. I can’t remember; it was definitely pre-Covid.
22 - As of today (10th December, 2020) the COVID vaccine is being rolled out in the UK. Are you going to have it once it’s available to you (if it ever is)?
A part of me is a little concerned because I know vaccines take years and sometimes even decades to be fully developed, but that doesn’t mean I don’t trust doctors and science. I very much do, of course. It’s just that I’d personally prefer to wait it out first to see if it’ll have any negative effects once rolled out on a massive scale.
23 - What are your favourite websites to browse when you’re bored?
Wikipedia black holes are the way to go.
24 - Do you think people should have to pass a test in order to own pets?
A local animal welfare NGO already does that; Nina had to go through several tests before she was allowed to adopt Arlee. There was a verbal interview, a written form she had to fill out, and a representative from the organization even visited our house to see if it was a suitable environment for Arlee; I’m sure there was a few more steps she was required to undergo. I certainly think it’s a good and responsible process.
25 - When was the last time you fell asleep/had a nap during the day? Is this something that happens often?
It’s been monthssssssssss. I don’t really take naps during the day anymore.
26 - Do you suffer/have you ever suffered with bad acne? What kind of things did you do to try and improve it?
I’ve never had issues with acne and was always rather fortunate when it comes to my skin. I’ll have a pimple or two show up once or twice a year, but they go away within a week or so. Since I don’t want to jinx it, I just wash my face with water and I’ve never experimented with any skincare products ever.
27 - When you think about it, do you think it’s odd that we stop drinking human milk at a young age, but we happily drink milk from other species instead?
Not really.
28 - How’s the weather where you are? Is this a good or a bad thing for you?
These days it’s humid and hot during the day (as always), but now that it’s Christmas season the weather tends to plunge to like 24-26C during nighttime. I’d say the night part is good for me as I prefer being cold than hot, so I’m glad we’ll be having this weather until March at most.
29 - When was the last time you ate a pizza? What toppings did you get?
Tuesday. Relatives came over then and my cousin got us pizzas. I don’t remember what toppings he got but both pizzas had stuffed crust in it.
30 - How often do you wear make-up? What kind of make-up do you wear?
Wow, almost never. Gab used to put makeup on me but now that she’s gone, I don’t really see myself wearing makeup for the meantime as I definitely wouldn’t apply them onto myself.
--
1 - If you have caffeine late in the day, does it cause you to struggle with your sleep?
Eh, sometimes. Sometimes it’ll do what it’s supposed to and make me stay up for a while, but other times it doesn’t work and I’ll end up getting sleepy the same time I usually start feeling so.
2 - When you struggle to sleep, what do you do instead?
Watching videos has eternally worked for me.
3 - Who was the last person you spoke to for the first time? How did you come to speak to this person?
Hmm I met my co-workers Ysa and Bea for the first time today, if it counts. I’ve only ever talked to them through Viber since we’re on a WFH set-up, but we had to go to the office today to fix up some boxes that we needed to get delivered. But the last person that I really hadn’t met nor spoken to before was Jhomar, the company messenger who takes care of pickups for the day.
4 - If you have a pet, have they ever embarrassed you in public or in front of friends or family members? What happened?
Kimi is typically unfriendly towards strangers, so as cute and cuddly as he looks he would probably bite your finger off. I’ve had to explain that to guests who’ve felt puzzled about his demeanor. He’s my little baby though and I wouldn’t say he’s embarrassed me because of it. Cooper on the other hand is hyper-friendly to the point that he looks aggressive and it has scared some people away; in reality, he’s always SO pumped to meet anyone and everyone and can never contain his excitement haha. He’s literally the nicest dog.
5 - Do you leave the house every single day?
I never leave the house, except if it’s to withdraw cash or go to the Starbucks drive through to pick up a coffee.
6 - Would you rather spend the day at the beach, or a day in the snow in the mountains?
I would normally pick beach, but I think the mountains would be best for me at the moment.
7 - Do you prefer tops that are plain, or ones with patterns/logos/slogans?
Plain.
8 - Are there any TV shows from your childhood that you still watch today?
I’ll watch Spongebob every now and then. When I’m bored and have enough time on my hands I’ll sometimes watch other shows from my childhood just for that nostalgia wave, like Barney or Hannah Montana.
9 - How many texts would you say you send on an average day?
Used to be hundreds, but now it’s probably like...5, on average. Sometimes I’ll need to text media for work and that’ll come up to around 15-20 texts but that happens only occasionally, like once every two weeks.
10 - Do you enjoy buying gifts for other people, or do you never know what to buy them?
I never know what to buy for people. I like buying gifts for a significant other, though. I tend to spoil one to no end.
11 - Girls - if you get periods, do you suffer from period pain or any other horrible symptoms?
I get the hormonal symptoms, but the physical symptoms are almost never there. My stomach will usually contract in a way that tells me it’s coming soon, but it never really aches. Most of the time, I just cry and mope a lot and that’s how I know it’s on its way, ha.
12 - The last time you were in a car, where you were travelling to? Were you the driver or a passenger?
I was headed back home. but I came from the office. I was the driver as always.
13 - Who were you with the last time you went out for a meal?
I took myself out on a date.
14 - What book do you wish they’d make into a film or TV series?
The Septimus fucking Heap series, please. They’ve been trying to get it made into a movie series for years but as far as I know the talks have always fallen through.
15 - The age old question - do you prefer coke or pepsi?
That’s a big ‘or’ for me. I don’t drink soda.
16 - What’s the last thing you watched on TV? Is this a programme you watch regularly?
Bea took over the office TV earlier and she had it set to a BTS + Taylor Swift music video playlist so that we had background music while working. No, neither are my artists of choice, really.
17 - Do you have a favourite documentary subject (eg. nature, celebrities, history, crime)?
Pro wrestling (a seriously underrated documentary subject) and crime. Documentaries on anthropological issues or discoveries are great as well. I do love history, but I prefer to absorb it in text/museum form.
18 - Do you prefer sweet or savoury snacks? What snack would you say is your overall favourite?
Savoryyy. I get tired of sweet snacks pretty quickly. My current favorites to munch on are any salted egg flavored chips.
19 - Does having to wear a mask stop you from doing anything, just because you dislike them or find them uncomfortable?
It can be harder to breathe and I get exhausted a lot faster with a mask on, but I keep it on because I would want to keep other people safe and because it’s so easy to keep a damn mask on.
20 - Do you prefer zip-up or overheard hoodies?
Either is fine.
21 - If you have a yard or garden, how much time do you spend out there?
I prefer the rooftop, and if I do go there I usually stay for a few hours during the evening just to have some time to myself. Being in a house with four adults can get pretty overwhelming and taxing sometimes.
22 - When was the last time someone bought you flowers? What was the occasion?
I think it was for Valentine’s Day last year. If not, it was for the anniversary which was a week after Valentine’s Day.
23 - How often do you get takeaway? What’s your favourite thing to order?
I don’t really do takeout. I usually dine-in or have food delivered to my place.
24 - Do you own a lot of clothing items in your favourite colour? What is your favourite colour, anyway?
I don’t have a lot of clothes in pink. It’s not my best color, but I like it in everything else hahaha.
25 - When was the last time you stayed overnight away from home? Was this with friends, family or in a hotel somewhere? What was the occasion?
Idk probably a sleepover at Gab’s place early this year.
26 - Would you ever be interested in seeing a live magic show?
Sure. Magic shows are already a staple at kids’ birthday parties here, and I’ve always enjoyed them especially since magicians are quite the comedians too.
27 - What’s your favourite period to learn about in history? What got you interested in this particular era?
I don’t have a favorite period per se but I’ve always had an affinity for the royalty. I like reading all about them, no matter what period they reigned or what house/country they’re from. Historians have kept impressive and super detailed accounts or records for most of them, so reading about their lives has also allowed me to learn more about the culture they lived through.
28 - Do you still use or carry cash, or do you pay for everything via card?
I heavily rely on cash and I actually realized how behind I am just today, when Bea ordered lunch for the office. I paid her with cash and she looked at me all puzzled and was like, “Can you do bank transfer instead?” another big girl stuff I had to learn lol. Everyone in college used cash pls forgive me
29 - Are there any TV shows that remind you of your grandparents for some reason?
Not really.
30 - Have you ever had to wear a tie for school or work? If not, do you know how to tie a tie without looking it up?
I had a necktie as part of my uniform in my old school. I never knew how to tie it and always asked someone else to do it for me whenever it came loose.
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ALL.THE QUESTIONS FOR THAT ASK MEME
1. What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?
I use he/him pronouns, please! And I have a lot of identities so uh, be warned.
I'm nonbinary! Not really sure on gender, or any specifics. I'm pretty fluid between andro/masc/fem so??? It's a big Question Mark.
I'm polyamorous! I'm in a handful of relationships but they're all important to me. I'm also pretty open about loving and appreciating my friends too!
I'm pansexual! I'm also panromantic and nebularomantic! I know people debate on pansexual/polysexual/bisexual all the time, and honestly I just go with pan cause I like the flag colors xD But also, it's basically me saying I feel attraction not based on gender/presentation!
2. How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?
Oh oof okay so. I noticed it since I was YOUNG. I always thought girls were cute?? I'm AFAB, for the record. But I always figured that was something everyone was into. Then some people were talking about lesbians and such, and I was like "Well yeah, I'd kiss a girl" SO YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW WELL THAT WENT OVER. People asked me if I was gay, and I didn't think I was? I liked boys too!
Wasn't until probably high school that I finally settled on "Yeah, I'm bi." and then discovered the whole gender spectrum and being nonbinary and so much just fell into place
3. Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?
So I present pretty andro, I think! I don't try to fit a masc/fem scale but like, in person I don't really make a big deal out of it.
There was a stretch of time where I went by she/her still, even as a nonbinary. But I switched to he/him about a year ago and it's just GOOD for me.
Well.... Someone I really don't like joined the chat where I first decided to go by he/him. They joined, and they bitched to the mods about not liking me, but they called me "she/her" EVEN WITH he/him being in my intro. The mods were friends of mine and corrected them and were DEFINITELY on edge and asked me if I ever went by she/her or if they were purposefully misgendering me.
4. Who was the first person you told, how did they react?
I'm pretty sure it was my boyfriend, Eric! They didn't give a shit HAHA, and have been all respectful and everything.
5. Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?
So I don't actually remember when I told them? But it wasn't a big deal actually.
6. If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?
Oof so, I don't think I ever straight up told my mom. But I don't really care what she thinks anyways LOL
I did have to tell Eric's parents, though! When we were poly and dating our qpp Reina. (Didn't want to explain those details and shit to them). But telling them that meant telling them I'm gay haha. They totally didn't care and have been so welcoming and accepting, i love them so much ;;w;;
7. What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?
"Why do you need to be polyamorous do you not love your partners does that just mean you want to sleep around you're just using it as an excuse to cheat on your partners"
All said from people who don't know shit about being poly.
8. Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.
Oh god this is so boring. I just wear jeans and tshirts xD Nothing special or SUPER GAY.
9. Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?
ROSE/PEARL FROM STEVEN UNIVERSE
I don't consume a lot of lgbt media apparently, huh.
10. What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?
Sometimes! Usually no, though. I like eyeliner most of the time.
11. Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?
YES.
So with my chest it's more frequent, I also just don't like being as fat as I am. SO that's half my body problems.
Bottom stuff is less frequent but usually during That Time Of The Month (Which, I actually haven't had for YEARS, but I started getting again recently, I hate it.)
12. What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?
"Oh yeah I'm inclusive of ace/aro people in the LGBT community!! You have a chemical imbalance in your brain which makes you just like us!!!"
Like.. what the fuck.
13. What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?
I love how we're all THERE for each other! You join a chat, go "Hey I'm gay" and we're like "GAY??? GAY???? GAY???? GAY????" we're like dogs LMAO
14. What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?
Sick of transmeds and terfs and ace/aro exclusionists and shit, fuck off my blog.
Also??? Can we stop making jokes about MOGAI identities and shit??? "Lmao this gender is based on being a special snowflake" cool shut up, let people live damn, it's not that hard to just respect people.
15. Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?
Nope :c Everywhere I've lived either 1. there wasn't any close to me/I wasn't out, or 2. ITS TOO DANGEROUS TO GO, or 3. I don't have a car lmao.
16. Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?
Lil Nas X, hands down. He's a great dude.
17. Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?
I'm in three right now!!
So the first is Eric, we met on an online rp chat website thingy!
Second is Chander, we met through a mutual friend and we knew each other like a year then within the span of like two months we started dating and now we live together, 2.5 years later xD
Third is Jay! I met him through a kin Discord, we've been friends over a year but it took a few months before we started dating!
18. What is your favourite lgbt+ book?
Y'know I don't think I've ever read one. Uhhh...
I mean the Black Dagger Brotherhood has a gay couple??? Does that count??? xD
19. Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?
Slightly! Most of mine is about being polyamorous. I have people tell me "That's not enough to be lgbt" paying 0 attention to me also being nonbinary and pansexual.
Also had people tell me I'm not trans enough to be nonbinary because I don't want to transition.
20. Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?
One Day At A Time? That's about the only one I can think of LOL
21. Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?
Uuhhh I don't really follow bloggers.
22. Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?
QUEER and gay itself. People act like "gay" was never used against the lgbt community like, bitch, if Hillary fuckin' Duff has to tell some stupid teens in a PSA to not use "gay" like that, then I'm reclaiming it, shut up.
23. Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?
Nope and nope.
24. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?
I'm nonbinary! I use he/him pronouns and it pretty much just means I don't wanna be a boy or a girl. I don't mind being called like "You're a good guy" or whatever.
25. Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?
Not really? I'm very selfish and self-centered, I don't think I could handle having a child xD
26. What identity advice would you give your younger self?
"You don't have to figure this all out right now! You have time! Also, make friends with gay people. They're not some closed community where if you join and you're wrong they abandon you."
27. What do you think of gender roles in relationships?
Eh, nah. Like I'm a big "Yeah sure I'll do laundry and dishes" or whatever. But I'd rather share responsibilities!
28. Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?
I've been questioning and trying to identify my gender a lot more and get more specific, but I'm in no rush.
29. What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?
We're just people, man. That's it. That's all there it to it. You don't have to have the same feelings as us, but just give us the right to love and marry who we want, or not do that, or have our relationships look however we want.
30. Why are proud to be lgbt+?
I'm proud to be LGBT because it means I'm in a community of people who are accepting and caring. It's like a family wherever you go.
Thank you for the asks <3
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Q-pid - 50 Questions
Answering a list of 50 character questions in-character. The original list can be found here.
1. Are you a morning person or more of a night owl?
“I’m more of a morning person. I like running errands at times when nobody is really out and about.”
2. What’s the first thing you notice about a person when you meet them?
“Their demeanour. You know, if they’re acting proud, happy, tough. However they’re acting, so I know how much I should be acting as well.”
3. You see a huge spider in your room. What do you do?
“Immediately find bug spray. I don’t want it anywhere near me.”
4. If you could go back and change one decision you made in the past, what would you change?
“I would read my contract better before signing it.”
5. Tell me about your first kiss.
“We went to one of those make-out points. It was very sweet. We were teenagers in love, and that night was picture-perfect.”
6. Do you give people second chances?
“I can’t think of any point where someone’s done something to me, and I haven’t eventually forgiven them or let the matter go.”
7. Are you a cat person or a dog person?
“I do love cats. They’re adorable and soft.”
8. Do you think you’re attractive?
“Oh definitely. I’m completely gorgeous. Ask anyone.”
9. What’s your worst habit?
“I poke and prod at people and sometimes that ends up going too far. People lose their temper, and that usually ends up hurting me in some way or another.”
10. When was the last time you cried?
“Oh…On-camera, maybe? I don’t cry a lot, but I’ve definitely done it when someone was recording.”
11. Are you a good liar?
“I’m a talented actor, so that bleeds over if I have to pretend something is the truth.”
12. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
“Being spoken over. If you must speak, wait your turn.”
13. Have you ever had your heart broken?
“A few times, maybe. There’s been a few close calls, but I’ve never found anyone who could make a dent I couldn’t repair.”
14. Are you more likely to use your fists or your words in an argument?
“Words cut better, but I’m also fine with using a physical weapon. My favourites being demonstrating my talents, or with my bow.”
15. What’s something you’re naturally good at?
“Singing, looking good, winning hearts. The list goes on.”
16. What’s something you had to work hard to be good at?
“Choreography. When I was first starting, I wasn’t used to performing on-stage with rehearsed dance routines. But- But after four years I can tell you I’m perfect!”
17. Can you tell when someone is flirting with you?
“Oh yeah. Part of my whole character riles on me being able to recognise it.”
18. Do you think money can buy happiness?
“All you need in this world is love. If you have that, there’s always hope.”
19. Do you believe in destiny?
“Speaking for myself, I was always going to end up where I am now, sooner or later. I guess that would mean other people have destinies as well.”
20. Are you a good cook?
“I’m an experimental cook. When I have the time, I’ll mess around with recipes. It may be hit-or-miss, but since I’m only ever cooking for myself, it doesn’t matter. But I do hope to make someone dinner or breakfast-in-bed one day…”
21. What do you think happens after you die?
“I’ll live on through my music, surely.”
22. Did you have to grow up fast?
“No, not really. I was average, I grew up at an equally average speed. Then when I signed up with Prometheus everything seemed to just whoosh by into breakneck speed.”
23. Who do you look up to?
“Myself. There’s some artists that inspire me because of what they do, so I guess I look up to them.”
24. When you go to a tavern, what do you order?
“Something weak, so that it doesn’t impact my ability to perform. But it is also probably the only drink I’ll be getting for the night, so I’m going to make it count.”
25. What do you like most about yourself?
“I’m talented, gorgeous, brilliant in my field-”
26. What do you like least about yourself?
“What’s not to like?”
27. Do you want kids someday?
“I’ve never even thought about that. I’m focusing on my career. I don’t know what’s going to happen, all I hope for is that I’m still Q-pid.”
28. Are you a planner, or more spontaneous?
“I’m more spontaneous, though with plenty prepared – many arrows in my quiver, as they say – to help me.”
29. Can you keep a secret?
“I keep secrets very well. If I didn’t I’d be fired, haha.”
30. Do you like being the centre of attention?
“One thousand percent. I’m Q-pid, my lovelies, my heart goes out to the entire world!”
31. If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?
“I’d work my ass off until that point. Release every idea I’ve ever wanted to see finished, post them on my own goddamn website. I don’t care if they’re grainy audio files, people will hear them. They will know me, before I die.”
32. Do you enjoy getting all dressed up for a special occasion?
“Always! Even if the special occasion is just going down the street, I like to look good and feel good. And when it comes to special events requiring a special appearance from yours truly, my costume designer is a goddess. I never get tired of wearing that costume.”
33. Where do you feel safe?
“In my apartment. I can decorate and act however I like, and no-one ever visits. It’s like my own private bunker.”
34. Do you love or hate being alone?
“…I’ve accepted it…”
35. What’s the last nightmare you remember having?
“My hands and legs were chewed off. I don’t know what by, but I think it was humanoid.”
36. Do you admit to mistakes when you make them?
“Oh, no, definitely not. I usually cover them up and act like I knew what I was doing the whole time.”
37. Do you want to grow up to be like your parents?
“I haven’t spoken to them in years, but they weren’t really anybody, so.”
38. How do you deal with being sick? Are you stoic, or super whiny?
“Everyone needs to know that I’m not at my best! That’s not whiny!!”
39. What did your parents expect from you when you were born?
“I honestly don’t know. For me to happy, maybe? Then that would be mission accomplished.”
40. Do you have a strong sense of style?
“Oh yes. Everything I wear is stylish, coordinated, and extravagant. I don’t leave the house if it’s not.”
41. Would you rather camp outdoors or stay the night in an inn?
“Definitely indoors. I’m not sleeping outside, are you kidding? I’ll get dirt everywhere and I’ll get attacked by wild animals.”
42. Is there a food that most people like that you absolutely hate?
“Hm. I don’t know if peaches count as a beloved food, but they have a weird taste and texture. Oh, kiwi! I don’t like kiwi.”
43. Are you more of a hoarder or a minimalist?
“I’m right in the middle. I decorate my tables and shelves with as much as possible, but everything else has to be completely cleared. Especially where there’s a lot of foot traffic.”
44. Are you superstitious?
“No! Absolutely not. I’m just careful. Who isn’t careful about things like ghosts and evil spirits?”
45. Are you the kind of person who remembers people’s birthdays and pets’ names and stuff?
“Not really. Little things like that just, slip my mind. It’s a curse.”
46. What do you do to feel better when you’re sad?
“I’m never ever sad. I’m Q-pid…But if Pitt’s feeling down, he buys himself something nice.”
47. Is it hard for you to trust someone?
“I always say that I trust people. But I don’t open up to people, and most only see about thirty percent of me. They don’t want to know about the rest, so I don’t bother.”
48. Are you susceptible to peer pressure?
“No?? Oh that’s cute. I deal with a much worse kind of pressure every day, that kind doesn’t bother me.”
49. If you decided to stop adventuring and settle down, what kind of job would you take?
“I don’t think I’d quit unless I was forced to. In which case, I’d probably get super depressed. But, I like pilots, and I like being able to fly. I’ve kind of achieved that with the wings, but I’d go for the run-of-the-mill version if the worst happens.”
50. As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
“I wanted to make music years before I was signed. That’s why I jumped at the chance to do it. I’ll do anything to keep that dream alive.”
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starting anew!
hi! if by the odd chance you knew me from my old blog, i realized that i was restricted from carrying out a lot of functions i might want to in the future if i were to grow my blog (it was a sideblog to an old, 2013 blog i had and when i replied to comments or respond to asks it’d be as my primary). so instead i decided to create a new account so that lycho could be my primary blog! since i did have a few posts that i wanted to keep for history sake, this is just going to be a mega post of my past few posts:
apr 6, 2020 - the beginning
day 1 of my journey with ux!
frankly, i’ve been on this journey for the past two years (ever since discovering it) but i feel as though i haven’t made any real progress. i’ve always claimed i wanted to grow and learn more about the field, yet those goals never showed in my day-to-day actions.
this blog is a collection of my progress on this journey to keep myself accountable. the goal is facebook in a year, baby!
i know it’s super idealistic and quite tough for a second year like me who’s not even in a design program (business, actually). but i still want to try. i want to do something for myself for once.
that is why i am committing 4 hours everyday to honing my craft. whether that is learning about ux through watching youtube tutorials, skillshare course, or reading medium articles, or actually practicing the craft by making redesigns or wireframes, i will dedicate this time strictly to advancing my expertise within the field. and this blog exists to keep up with my every step of the way :)
apr 8, 2020 - website overhaul
today I worked on cleaning up the modularity of my existing website a bit, making use of consistent classes instead of hard-coding like i used to! oh how i love modularity!
small win: making a navbar that breaks out of the standard bounding box of the site’s content --> next goal is to make it a sticky navbar with js!
other than my website, yesterday I finished a skillshare course on user-centred design, albeit short, it was really valuable and it only motivates me to continue learning. I’m starting to realize how much I actually like doing this stuff and think it is something that really clicks and not just something im doing for the looks.
slowly but surely getting the hang of dedicated 4 hour time chunks to my craft - i failed yesterday and the day before (woke up around 9/10 instead of starting at 8:30) but today i did pretty well! took a short 20 min nap inbetween haha but I’m still proud of myself overall :)
it’s been pretty depressing and lonely lately with the quarantine (when the sun is shining so bright, teasing me grr..) but I want to get back into a routine and be productive although i do have my lazy days. it just overall makes me feel better because who knows how long we’ll have to live like this. might as well get used to it.
apr 9, 2020 - website overhaul
hi! so today i wanted to be very candid and share that i feel like i did fail today in terms of the goals i had set out for myself, though I reached 1/2 goals so that’s good! the first was to finish refining my website and publish it (check!), while the other was to finish the financial statements for my business assignment but alas that did not end up happening haha, but i forgive myself for it and know that tomorrow will be a new day!
I actually woke up early today (around 7:30, earlier than usual) and felt awake, yet mentally I just wanted to go back to sleep so I ended up getting up at 9:30. I then regretted it and beat myself up for it briefly for doing that, but I realized that I should let myself off in these strange times we’re all living in right now.
so, i think i really am going to get serious about my design journey! my only concern is that i feel like im stretching myself too thin - i have a full time design internship offer for this summer for a startup, as well as 2 leadership positions on clubs where I lead/work on the branding and design, but also at the same time I”m always at home so not sure what is reasonable and what is not. Because when I’m not doing that, I want to be self-learning, but I recently a discovered a mentorship program where I could be mentored by a startup founder to help scale her business, but again I feel like I’m stretching myself thin. though it’s a really good opportunity.
anywho, updates on my website like this post was supposed to be about is that i finally published it again after not liking how it looked before, and i think this revamp is a lot cleaner! proud of it. i try not to reveal many of my personal details on here bc i’m not sure who would actually be reading it, but this blog is just a way for me to track, myself, how i’m doing and to keep myself accountable :) i just didn’t want to set it to private cause it’s a hassle for me to always enter the password if i want to look at my blog.
lastly, i want to start consistently workout - and in the long term actually start a real blog where I write about my experiences, in actual coherent sentences! amazing. creative-wise i really want to start learning 3d illustration and blender, even though i’m an aspiring product designer but i just love 3d and motion, so idk might be stretching myself too thin again but i feel like I need to stretch my creative muscles this way and push myself as a creator. also starting the daily ui challenge again tomorrow after giving up a few months ago - haha!
let’s see how this one pans out :)
apr 10, 2020 - learning + starting anew
today i started two new things !!
restarted daily ui challenge after quitting a week in last year
started to learn blender ! !
i still feel like i failed today because i mostly sat around doing nothing OTHER than design, which just affirms to me that im truly passionate about this stuff for only having motivation to do it (or just a strong will against my homework for uni still....either way im taking it)
although i’m not that great at blender yet and felt frustrated during the process, when i got the end result i realized i like how it turned out despite it not being perfect, and it’s inspiration for me to keep learning and expanding on my skills :)
same with daily ui - i found that my approach this time compared when i literally knew NOTHING about ux was very different.
for example, something I already notice I'm doing differently from the last time is focusing less on decoration and more on practicality, actually naming/grouping layers and leveraging design systems, and injecting personality to make the experience delightful. I'm also limiting myself to two hours now (though this one took about an hour) so I have more time to do some research, sketch and wireframe before styling.
looking forward to a better day tomorrow! i might do a little less design (maybe just a daily ui shot) so i can focus on actually tackling the report i’m supposed to finish as well as study for an upcoming exam, so we will see! feeling good :))
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weird asks that say a lot
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? All of them. I drink tea in coffee mugs and teacups. I love drinking wine. I like that I can recycle soda cans
2. chocolate bars or lollipops? chocolate
3. bubblegum or cotton candy? bubblegum if the flavor lasts long
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? the stereotypical quiet, obedient, smart, goody-two-shoes kid
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? somehow I like the aesthetic from soda bottles
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? hONESTLY I can dO ALL OF THE ABOVE in the span of days. Went to work one day wearing beach-y clothes for spirit day. Returned to pick up a friend to go see a metal concert in VERY metal concert attire. I own short, sweet summery floral dresses and gothic dresses, too
7. earbuds or headphones? Earbuds, they allow me to be more mobile
8. movies or tv shows? movies
9. favorite smell in the summer? Fresh cut grass. The smell of the ocean. Churros at the fair
10. game you were best at in p.e.? Soccer, obvs. Somehow would always last until the end of the game in dodgeball tho because I was small and no one could hit me
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Cereal
12. name of your favorite playlist? Don’t have one.
13. lanyard or key ring? Key ring
14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Smarties!
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? I remember re-reading Holes over and over just to make my book reports easier since I knew the boo so well. The Kite Runner was phenomenal and unforgettable
16. most comfortable position to sit in? idk?? I really can’t sit still in one position for too long
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? Currently my hiking/outdoorsy shoes. Also my black Nikes that I play pickup in and wear to the gym
18. ideal weather? Sunny and 65. Maybe one or two clouds. The tiniest of faint breezes to cool me down.
19. sleeping position? Any I can get into and fall asleep in quickly
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Laptop. I can edit easier.
21. obsession from childhood? Probably any cheesy show on Animal Planet. The Most Extreme, Meerkat Manor, Big Cat Diary, etc
22. role model? I have a lot of different ones. Role models for athletics, role models for career and ambition choices, artistic role models...can’t pick just one
23. strange habits? Spelling words with the tips of my fingers
24. favorite crystal? Aquamarine
25. first song you remember hearing? how in the FUCK am I supposed to remember that. I do remember my parents playing The Beatles for me when I was a toddler
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Soccer! (futbol)
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Sledding, making hot chocolate, or playing indoor soccer haha
28. five songs to describe you? Who I am Hates Who I’ve Been by Relient K, Proud by the Icarus Account, Land of the Dead by Voltaire, Always Leaving by Mayday Parade, Wavin’ Flag by K’naan
29. best way to bond with you? Listening to my favorite music with me or watching the US Women’s national soccer team with me
30. places that you find sacred? Belfast, Maine. Gold Camp Road. Newport Beach
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Tight jeans with holes in them, fishnets, and a crop top
32. top five favorite vines? Vines still exist?
33. most used phrase in your phone? “tbh”
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? O O O O REILLYYYYYY’S autoparts
35. average time you fall asleep? around 9
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? I don’t remember
37. suitcase or duffel bag? suitcase
38. lemonade or tea? Is it warm outside? Lemonade. Is it cold outside? tea
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? PIE!
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Zombie hunting or my professor cutting lab a half an hour short to go look at some Cedar waxwings
41. last person you texted? I think it was Robert
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Pants pockets
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Jean jacket
44. favorite scent for soap? Anything fruity
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy. It depends on how good the sci-fi movie is
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? as little as possible lmao
47. favorite type of cheese? Parmesan
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? A raspberry
49. what saying or quote do you live by? A great amount of good is always evened out by a great amount of bad
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? Honestly Daniel knew how to make me laugh better than anyone. There are a couple of memories with him that I don’t remember entirely but I know that I ended up cry-laughing so hard that my head hurt. There was a time during my orientation camping trip when a bunch of us were playing ultimate Frisbee, and Jesse went to catch the frisbee in the most perfectly lateral horizontal position and the expression of focus just frozen on his face had me laughing so hard that I couldn’t see
51. current stresses? Sam. Jobs that I can apply for starting in May of 2020. Sam. STUDENT LOANS. Bills. Car payments. Wondering how fucked up my car has gotten since I’ve lived here on this ranch. Sam.
52. favorite font? Anything that looks fancy and sarcastic
53. what is the current state of your hands? Need to be washed.
54. what did you learn from your first job? The world is cruel and bad things happen without warning
55. favorite fairy tale? Uh....the Pied Piper?
56. favorite tradition? when my family visits for Christmas, eating lots of traditional Chinese food with them
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Heartbreak. Staggering rejection from the field I majored in. Probably a lot of body image struggles in there as well
58. four talents you’re proud of having? Writing, futbol, adaptability, flexibility. I think the last two are just traits but I don’t have a lot of talents I can invest in
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Let’s make like a baby and head out
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? No idea
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Though we are far apart, our spirits share the same earth and the same sky
62. seven characters you relate to? Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit, Data from The Goonies, Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter, Eliza Thornberry from The Wild Thornberries, Raven from Teen Titans, Isaac from Teen Wolf
63. five songs that would play in your club? ANYTHING by Within Temptation. I wouldn’t be a good club owner. The catchy and pump-up songs from Hamilton.
64. favorite website from your childhood? Wasn’t allowed much computer time. I was allowed to visit educational sites and occasionally the Disney site
65. any permanent scars? some self-harm scars. Probably the one on my right leg that I got from CO parks and wildlife. I stepped on a barbed wire fence that had been plastered to the ground, but the metal sprang up when I stepped on it and ripped through my skin
66. favorite flower(s)? Plumerias
67. good luck charms? I’m not sure if I have any.
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? earthworm flavor from Bertie Bott’s every flavor beans
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? uh...Something about not being able to spray silly string on Halloween in Hollywood
70. left or right handed? Right handed
71. least favorite pattern? wtf
72. worst subject? anything math related, I really struggled in GIS.
73. favorite weird flavor combo? I...have no idea
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? 2. I’m a baby
75. when did you lose your first tooth? I was 6
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? chips and fries
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? a succulent
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? sushi from a grocery store, the quality can surprise you
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Both are terrible
80. earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones
81. fireflies or lightning bugs? I hate bugs
82. pc or console? PC
83. writing or drawing? Writing, I’m terrible at drawing
84. podcasts or talk radio? Not into either
84. barbie or polly pocket? I had both
85. fairy tales or mythology? God!!!! Like hearing about both but mythology I guess
86. cookies or cupcakes? Cookies
87. your greatest fear? Being forgotten. I also have a terrible, horrible fear of drowning
88. your greatest wish? In the times I’ve struggled I often find myself wishing for peace. Not only for myself, but for others to easily feel peace with everyone else
89. who would you put before everyone else? Sierra
90. luckiest mistake? Mistake? There’s been lucky accidents but I don’t think any of my mistakes have been lucky
91. boxes or bags? It depends on what I’m packing and where I’m going
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Sunlight
93. nicknames? T, Tear, Tear-tear, T-Dog, Miss T..a few of my recent favorites from soccer: Ronaldinha and Thierry Chun
94. favorite season? Fall! Shit, especially in New England
95. favorite app on your phone? I don’t know
96. desktop background? A picture of a simple dock leading out to sea
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? My parents’ and brother’s
98. favorite historical era? Victorian era, for sure
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1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?
Those antique metal, enamel coated cups.
2. chocolate bars or lollipops?
Lollipops
3. bubblegum or cotton candy?
Bubblegum
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
Idk, I was a pretty normal child.
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?
Depends on where the soda comes from honestly.
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
I really like fashion, but goth fashion out of those.
7. earbuds or headphones?
headphones are preferable
8. movies or tv shows?
Why not both?
9. favorite smell in the summer?
The rain, always.
10. game you were best at in p.e.?
Dodgeball I guess, the part where you don’t get hit, not throwing lol.
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?
Sleep.
12. name of your favorite playlist?
It’s just called Mood Dump. Lol
13. lanyard or key ring?
key chains
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
Probably Jolly Ranchers
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
If it was an assigned one I don’t remember, they always made us read the same ones over and over.
16. most comfortable position to sit in?
Indian style, always
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?
just some grey slip on ones
18. ideal weather?
cold, raining, clouds overcast in the sky with a bit of a breeze
19. sleeping position?
half on the side, half on the stomach with a leg pushed up haha
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
On my laptop, it’s easier to be able to spit out words as fast as possible
21. obsession from childhood?
BATMAN
22. role model?
Kyo from Dir En Grey
23. strange habits?
I eat my food one item at a time a lot, don’t know why
24. favorite crystal?
idk does Amythest count? I like those as well as Emeralds
25. first song you remember hearing?
Probably something from Disney movies
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
Stay inside in the air conditioning lmao
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
Just stand outside and inhale the air deeply
28. five songs to describe you?
In no particular order, without context:
1) Tousei - Dir En Grey
2) Closer to Fine - Indigo Girls
3) The Final - Dir En Grey
4) Glass Skin - Dir En Grey
5) Heavy - Linkin Park
29. best way to bond with you?
Talk to me about the food and movies you love
30. places that you find sacred?
Anywhere in nature that feels untouched by the world really
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?
Batman’s costume
32. top five favorite vines?
I don’t even remember any at this point lol
33. most used phrase in your phone?
Probably something like “alrighty”
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?
For some reason I always remember “It’s pizza time”
35. average time you fall asleep?
My sleep schedule is as chaotic as I am lmao
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
idk ones probably before I knew what memes even were
37. suitcase or duffel bag?
Suitcase all the way
38. lemonade or tea?
Black, iced, sweet tea only.
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
No, I hate citrus desserts.
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
Once in middle school in language arts, I just heard my teacher say to a kid in my class suddenly: “Brandon, put your penis away.”
41. last person you texted?
Matt I think
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
pants pockets are invaluable
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?
I love how bomber jackets look, but I am a hoodie person through and through
44. favorite scent for soap?
Cherry Blossom
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
Superhero is not a genre? But I choose horror anyway.
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
T-shirt, pajama pants allllllll the way
47. favorite type of cheese?
Swiss
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
Pineapple I guess, the outside does not match the inside lol
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
Here’s a handful.
“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”
“Treat others how you want to be treated.”
“Let it go, Let it be.”
"Face the abyss, but don't let it consume you."
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
Just way too many things that would take too long to list.
51. current stresses?
Haha, loaded question fam
52. favorite font?
Segoe UI
53. what is the current state of your hands?
Soft, with a scrape on my thumb and a new scar on my right ring finger lmao
54. what did you learn from your first job?
Adults play more games than kids do
55. favorite fairy tale?
If Red Riding Hood counts that one
56. favorite tradition?
Watching horror movies with my Mom
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
Losing my Dad
Being very personally betrayed by someone
Everyone I get close to eventually walking out on me
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
Idk I’m just me fam
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
Something with magic and travel
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
“Feed me Seymour!”
62. seven characters you relate to?
Spike - Cowboy Bebop
Snorlax - Pokemon
That being said I’m too lazy to come up with the other 5 right now
63. five songs that would play in your club?
People lost their shit when “Yeah” by Usher played every time
64. favorite website from your childhood?
Gaia Online
65. any permanent scars?
Yeah a few but nothing major
66. favorite flower(s)?
White Roses, White Lotus, ones I don’t know the names of
67. good luck charms?
My 22 pound fat ass orange cat Genji
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
I’m just gonna go with brussels sprouts
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?
the one where pineapple eats you back
70. left or right handed?
I’m mostly left handed but also right handed with some things
71. least favorite pattern?
idk?
72. worst subject?
Math
73. favorite weird flavor combo?
probable elote
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
somewhere between 5 and 7 depending on my mood
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
I was probably like 6?
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
Gonna have to say au gratin potatoes man
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
whatever makes you happy
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
gas station coffee is a special thing
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?
my old school photo for sure lol
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
what are jewel tones? tf
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
lightning bugs yo
82. pc or console?
PS4
83. writing or drawing?
writing
84. podcasts or talk radio?
music please
84. barbie or polly pocket?
barbie
85. fairy tales or mythology?
both fam
86. cookies or cupcakes?
cupcakes
87. your greatest fear?
I’ve already lived most of them so who cares but lets go with drowning
88. your greatest wish?
that my anxiety would fuck off forever
89. who would you put before everyone else?
My cat lol
90. luckiest mistake?
I’m not sure?
91. boxes or bags?
they do two very different jobs tf
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
moonlight please
93. nicknames?
Uru, Kyo, Rea
94. favorite season?
Winter
95. favorite app on your phone?
idk idc
96. desktop background?
A drawing I liked
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?
like 3
98. favorite historical era?
Victorian
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Honjitsu no Kami Oroshi Ch. 4
Sorry for the delay, this one took me quite a bit! Hopefully the next chapters should be done, uh, not quite as belatedly! Reminder that this chapter is viewable until August 12th on the official website!
You can read this chapter at www.ganganonline.com/contents/honzitsu/ by clicking “ [4話] アーサー王 公開! “ in the chapter listing!
Today's Divine Revelation Chapter 4 - The Legend of King Arthur
Page 1
Ryuunosuke: ?
Ryuu: ?
Rin&Ryuu: ........
Page 3
Ryuu: So,
Ryuu: Pull out the knife that was thrust into the pumpkin. (This sure is something.)
Rin: Sorry for bothering you in the middle of work.
My hands are tired, so I can't seem to do it with my strength...
Ryuu: No worries, it's fine! This'll be easy!
Ryuu: Being relied on by my little brother makes me happy...
Rin: I'm really...
Rin: Reeeally reluctant to ask you, but please.
Ryuu: ...Is it really that bad to let me enjoy it? (Every now and then.)
Page 4
Ryuu: Well, anyway. Take a good look at this, little brother.
This is your older brother's true power.
Ryuu: Huuh!
Ryuu: Nnnngh...
Ryuu: Gyah!
!!?
(crack)
Ryuu: My... My wrist...!
Ryuu: (It's tendinitis!!) My wriiiiist!!
Rin: ...
Alright already.
Page 5
Ryuu: Wait, one more time...
Let me try again!! (I'll be able to do it next time!)
Rin: It's distasteful to say things without basis ...Besides,
I don't want to think even less of you than this.
Ryuu: Don't look at me like that!!!
Ryuu: Isn't it bad if you can't pull it out?
Are you using it for dinner?
Rin: No,
I thought I'd make some pumpkin custard.
Ryuu: Flan?
Rin: I bought a pumpkin, but cutting it's more difficult than I thought.
I had some left over vanilla beans.
Ryuu: Ah! (From when I made ice cream!)
Ryuu: (Fushishi) Ehehe, custard!
Even though I didn't ask for it. Custard~~!!
Rin: You're so annoying. Is there a problem?
Ryuu: No, not at all.
Page 6
Ryuu: (Hmm.) Rintarou.
Ryuu: Can we try making King Arthur's pudding?
Rin: Huh? What's that?
Ryuu: Do you know King Arthur?
Rin: Just... the name.
Ryuu: I only read about him when I was a kid, but
Arthur was the king of Britain.
Ryuu: Near the end of the 5th century, the story of a legendary hero who fought with the Saxons spread through the continent.
Ryuu: The story of the Knights of the Round Table, the wizard Merlin, a sacred sword and the Holy Grail...
You could even say that Legend of King Arthur is the first real English fantasy tale.
Rin: Oh... Fantasy, huh... (Not my favorite.)
Page 7
Ryuu: When I told my editor about our divine revelations,
they said I should consider serializing it in a women's magazine.
Ryuu: The Legend of King Arthur is kinda romantic, don't you think?
Rin: Ah...
So it's like that.
(Rin: A king's pudding...)
Rin: Custard's pudding, right? Might as well.
Ryuu: Nice!
Now that it's decided, you should look up how to make pudding!
Rin: Huh? I already know how to make custard...
Ryuu: No, pudding's different!
Rin: Huh?
Page 8
Ryuu: When good King Arthur ruled this land~
Ryuu: If you look it up, you'll understand!
Mother Goose!
Rin: ......
What the heck's that?
[Library search for "Mother Goose"]
Page 9
Rin: (Lately...)
Rin: (I feel like I've become a regular here...)
(Rin: Here it is. It's huge...)
[Mother Goose is...
A general term used for nursery rhymes popular in Britain and America.]
Rin: (These lullabies began as ways to teach English pronunciation, songs to pass down history, songs meant to amuse, etc...
Children of all classes sang these songs during their education.)
Rin: So this stuff
Is what tons of people throughout history used to sing.
Rin: King Arthur appears in here, too, huh.
Page 10
[When good King Arthur ruled this land,
He was a goodly king;
He stole three pecks of barley-meal
To make a bag-pudding.
A bag-pudding the king did make,
And stuffed it well with plums;
And in it put great lumps of fat,
As big as my two thumbs.]
Rin: ?
Rin: (Barley-meal...? Fat!?
Isn't this supposed to be custard pudding? What's the deal...?)
Book: Pudding: Best Collection
Book: There are all types of pudding!
The History of Pudding.
Sausage and dessert are both "pudding!?"
Rin: ...
Ah.
(What a pain... This is so over the top...)
Page 11
[But...]
Rin: ?
Rin: ?
Book: King Arthur and the two swords.
Announcement: The library will be closing shorty.
Page 12
Rin: (Crap!
I was just supposed to be doing a little research, but I got really into it...)
(Rin: It's already this late...)
Rin: (I wasn't able to finish the book about King Arthur, so I ended up checking it out.)
Rin: (The book about pudding, too.
I'll make sure to read it thoroughly la...)
Man: ?
Rin: (What, no way...
What am I getting so excited over?! Come on, me!)
Rin: (This is just some annoying thing I have to do! What's wrong with me?!!)
Page 13
[Those divine revelation menus are my job.]
[Intently doing research and spending long hours in the kitchen]
[Are just part of work.]
Rin: (Right...?)
Page 14
Rin: Why are you here.
Ryuu: I'm taking notes!
Ryuu: I can't cook, but I won't be able to write about it if I stay oblivious!
I'm counting on you to explain!
Rin: (Tch.) Coming in here and demanding something like that...
If you get in the way, you're banned from the kitchen from now on.
(Ryuu: Banned?!)
Ryuu: How cold-hearted...!!!
[Explanation]
Rin: So first, the ingredients.
Wheat flour, bread flour, brown sugar,
Spices, raisins, eggs, milk, and suet.
Ryuu: Suet?
(Also known as sukiyaki fat.)
Rin: It's beef fat.
A particular kind that comes from the area around the kidney's.
Page 15
Rin: Recently using butter has been commonplace, but
Since we're making "King Arthur's pudding," I think we should make it the old way.
Ryuu: When you say old, how old is it?
Rin: 17-18th century, I guess.
Rin: Pudding originally referred to a kind of sausage.
Back then, when the fields in fall started to thin out, cattle farmers would slaughter their cattle.
It was common to use organ casing to preserve food for later.
[There are various theories.]
Rin: Only after that, hundreds of years later, did the sweet pudding we have today get developed.
Ryuu: Ah!!
In the old stories of Mother Goose, there was something about sausage pudding!!
Ryuu: I see, so that's why! (I thought that was weird.)
Page 16
Rin: Since it's an old pastry, it's simple to make.
Rin: First, grate up the suet.
(Use a cheese grater or something like it.)
Rin: Mix it together with both flours and the sugar until it looks incorporated, then
Add the raisins, spices, beaten eggs, and milk, and stir it together.
The spices are cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves, and coriander, stuff like that.
Rin: With that, the dough's done.
Rin: Now,
Rin: Next is the interesting part!
First I'll boil this cloth in water.
Ryuu: Huh? The cloth?
Rin: Yeah.
In the 17th century, something called a "pudding cloth" came about.
Rin: This cloth became a substitute for cattle organ lining.
With it, they could easily make pudding all year round.
Page 17
[Dust with flour]
Rin: What we call "basins" now were like private steam-cookers. (I've never seen one myself though.)
Rin: Now, I'll wring out the cloth, spread it out, and sprinkle it with the wheat flour from before.
Then I'll place the dough on top.
Rin: Tie it together into a pouch.
Rin: And submerge it in boiling water!
Ryuu: !!!?
Ryuu: You put it in there?!
Won't it get all soggy?!
Rin: I thought so, too, but
The flour I sprinkled on hardens and becomes like a skin. So it shouldn't get very wet...
[Doubtful.]
Ryuu: Re...
Ryuu: Really...
Page 18
[As the water evaporates, add more hot water.]
Rin: Well, anything's an experience.
To keep the water covering the bag halfway, I'll have to periodically add water over the 2-3 hours it boils.
Ryuu: That's so long!!
So, where's the one you boiled for 2-3 hours?
Rin: There isn't one.
I've been making dinner preparations until now.
Ryuu: ...Hm?
Ryuu: Wait, Rintarou.
What are you doing with that pumpkin?
Rin: What am I doing...?
I thought I'd steam it like this so I could pull the knife out. (Since I can't take it out.)
Ryuu: Stop! Stop!! Just wait a sec!!
Rin: !?
What's the deal?
(Ryuu: No way!!)
(Ryuu: You absolutely cant!!)
Page 19
Ryuu: That kitchen knife...
Please trust in me to pull that knife out later.
Rin: ......
(Rin: Trust in you..?)
Rin: ....
What?!
Page 20
Ryuu: Y'know, Rin...
Seeing you in the kitchen has become really common, huh...
Rin: !
Whose fault is that?
Rin: Lately, I feel like I'm always in the kitchen or the library.
Ryuu: Ahh, for your research.
Was the pudding lots of trouble?
Rin: (No.) Just looking up the recipe was easy, but...
Rin: I ended up getting curious about all sorts of things on the way...
Rin: If I remember correctly, the "English people" in King Arthur's time and the Saxons that had come from the continent were different.
Pudding was a traditional dish from those Saxons, but...
Ryuu: Hmm.
Rin: That pudding was also made by King Arthur.
...Isn't that a bit weird?
Ryuu: Haha! I see.
...Yeah, it's a bit weird, but it's not that weird.
Page 21
Ryuu: Because at that time,
Weren't a lot of things changing?
Ryuu: Former enemies became citizens. The shape of the country was changing.
Organ casings became cloth. Models changed.
Ryuu: And those things changed from history to written word.
Ryuu: A simple high school student
Ryuu: Becomes a chef before you know it.
Page 22
Rin: Just when did I become a chef...? (I'm just doing what my job entails.)
Ryuu: Before you know it, I said!
Hey, is your pot okay? (It's almost time, right?)
[But...
For just a moment]
[While researching and making all sorts of things]
[Before I knew it, I was enjoying it.]
Page 23
(Finish it off by baking in the oven to dry the outside.)
[Just a little...]
(Prepare a custard sauce drizzle onto the pudding.)
[But that's a secret.]
Ryuu: It's doooone!
[Today's Divine Revelation Menu:
King Arthur's Pudding (with custard sauce)]
Page 24
Ryuu: Thanks for the meal! My very first pudding!
Ryuu: ...
....
Ryuu: ...Ah...
It's rich... (Really rich.)
Rin: It's really dense!
I wonder if the thick texture is because of the beef fat.
Ryuu: I can smell the spices!
When I smelled the dough earlier, it reminded me of Christmas!
Rin: Yeah, me, too!
Next, I'll try it with the custard on top.
Ryuu: Ah, me too!
Page 25
Ryuu: ...Yeah.
Ryuu: This is really good.
Ryuu: Fancy meals are good, too, but
A traditional dish with a few ingredients, cooked simply,
Ryuu: I feel like I can touch history just by eating it.
Ryuu: Living alongside nature's cycle with their cattle,
Devising new ways to use their wheat and fruits as they ate.
[Ryuunosuke is]
Ryuu: A strong wind blows over the scarce soil...
[Summoning an unseen, far-off legend.]
[Turning back time.]
Ryuu: I can see the capital,
Where a king used to live long ago, in a land far away.
Page 26
Ryuu: And in that place,
Ryuu: Is a sword that only the rightful king can pull out.
Page 28
Ryuu: ...Please
Lend me your power...
Ryuu: I am also a king,
Ordained by literary circles in the future.
Ryuu: Come out!
Page 29
Ryuu: Ex-
Ryuu: cali-
bur!
Rin: Huh?
Rin: I thought that was a different sword from Excalibur?
Page 30
Ryuu: ...Eh...?
Rin: Oh, it came out.
Ryuu: Ehh?!
Book: King Arthur is given Excalibur by the Lady of the Lake.
Ryuu: EEEEH?
Ryuu: It really was a different sword. (I didn't know...)
Rin: (The blade's undamaged.)
Rin: I wonder if that was a real revelation...?
[There's multiple patterns.]
Page 31
Girl: Hey!
You!
Girl: Wait...
Schoolgirl: Kya!
What are you doing?!
Girl: I, I'm sorry...
This is grandma's...
The pumpkin I got from my grandmother...
Schoolgirl: That was close! Geez, what are you doing?
Schoolgirl2: Just drop it. Let's go.
Page 32
(Schoolgirl: What a joke... That stuff about her pumpkin...)
Mom: Urara, are you okay!?
Urara: Ah, yeah, I'm fine!
Mom: You scared me...
That's why I said it'd be better to send it by mail!
Now, can you stand? Let's get going.
Urara: Yeah.
Mom: Don't stray off, okay!
Urara: Okay.
Urara: (This is Tokyo...)
Page 33
[This is the city I'll be living in from now on!]
#honjitsu no kami oroshi#honjitsu no kami oroshi 4#honjitsu no kami oroshi chapter 4#today's divine revelation#manga translation
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85 questions tag !
Tagged by @wtf-taeyong, and thanks again for the tag ! ^~^
rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.
Last…?
1. drink - Water with lemon !
2. phone call - My mum
3. text message - My boyfriend, haha. Were just online shopping together
4. song you listened to - Gods plan by drake lMAO
5. time you cried - Idk like a few days ago when i watched wolf children again with @taeyxong
Ever…?
6. dated someone twice - Naaah bruhh. I cant repeat mistakes haha.
7. kissed someone and regretted it - Nopee
8. been cheated on- Lmao (sadly yes)
9. lost someone special- I suppose so
10. been depressed- We all feel depressed at times
11. gotten drunk and thrown up- Happens way too often !
fave colors
Omg this messed up the number format but ... pastel pink, pastel yellow, and white
in the last year have you…
15. made new friends - Definitely—on this site as well as in person ! ^~^
16. fallen out of love - Nope !
17. laughed until you cried - All the time. I laugh easily at a lot of things so imagine what im like when something is actually hilarious
18. found out someone was talking about you - Yeah ! But its okay, it doesnt matter because people who know you the least always talk the most about you !
19. met someone who changed you - Definitely, @ loving bf
20. found out who your friends are - Alway knew and we stuck together since senior year of hs
21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - I dont even have a facebook
general
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - I really dont even have a facebook and i also wouldnt add people i dont know in person
23. do you have any pets - nO but i want to claim my cousins dog. She has a white shiba
24. do you want to change your name - Nope ! Its a present from my parents so id never : )
25. what did you do for your last birthday - My friends and i got a hotel room for the night and partied in there
26. what time did you wake up today - Like 07:00
27. what were you doing at midnight last night - Sleeping lol
28. what is something you can’t wait for - Summer plans !
30. what are you listening to right now - Back to you by selena gomez
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - No ? But ill reserve this for the day i meet tom misch lmao jk
32. something that’s getting on your nerves - Nothing really ! Things have been really placid
33. most visited website - Youtube and google drive !
34. hair colour - Light brown to blonde but im going back to pink
35. long or short hair - I have medium lengthed ! Its by my ribs
36. do you have a crush on someone - Yeah who else
37. what do you like about yourself - I like my personality !
38. want any piercings? - I dont want any more : ) i have seven and i regret getting that many and i honestly believe it was just my experimental edgy period ahaha. I dont even wear earrings anymore
39. blood type - ???
40. nicknames - Every time i see this question i cry. Just make more puns already omg. Rae is a nickname, billy rae cyrus, raenglish major, sun rae, raeddy, furrae ... help.
41. relationship status - Taken !
42. zodiac - Leo
43. pronouns - She/Her
44. fave tv shows - I dont watch tv !
45. tattoos - I have one on my back and its a minimal outline-like drawing of dolphins hopping above waves. (It really isnt extra at all lol it looks like someone with a great steady hand drew it with a .38 pen on paper)
46. right or left handed - Right
47. ever had surgery - Nope
48. piercings - Sadly seven
49. sport - Im all in for basketball these days, but in my other tags ofc i stated ping pong and badminton, etc.
50. vacation - Heck yeah i just got off one
51. trainers - ???
more general
52. eating - Nothing but im probably going to drive for ice cream
53. drinking - Water like always
54. i’m about to watch - Nothing ?
55. waiting for - My motivation to kick in so i can write soulmate ten more
56. want - To be happy ! ^~^
57. get married - I want to !
58. career - Professor, definitely. I want to make each class meeting more extra than the previous
which is better
59. hugs or kisses - Hugs are nice, but so are kisses
60. lips or eyes - Eyes
61. shorter or taller - I dont really mind to be honest. I care about personality way more before physical qualities. It just matters whether or not youre happy with the person and for me, looks isnt needed ! They fade away over time, but a good heart doesnt : )
62. older or younger - Doesnt matter to me either, but no huge age difference for me, haha
63. nice arms or stomach - Doesnt matter either
64. hookup or relationship - Relationship because my hoe phase is over
65. troublemaker or hesitant - I aint bringing a trouble maker home to my parents
have you ever
66. kissed a stranger - It can happens
67. drank hard liquor - It isnt deemed a party to us unless theres hard liquor lol so yes
68. lost glasses - LMAO yeah i got new ones recently. Theyre the trendy circular ones
69. turned someone down - Yeah
70. sex on first date - Nope
71. broken someone’s heart - Yeah but im sure they grew from it the way i grew from heartbreaks—we all do
72. had your heart broken - Oh yeah
73. been arrested - Nope !
74. cried when someone died - Yes
75. fallen for a friend - Yeah ! Feelings cant just be prevented; people cant help how they feel often ! Usually when i crushed on someone i would just tell them and if i get rejected then i move on, and if not then we start something. My bf was a friend i fell for really hard and i told him, and then we ended up together : )
do you believe in…?
76. yourself - Always have to !
77. miracles - No ?
78. love at first sight - No, but attraction is !
79. santa claus - When i was five lmao
80. kiss on a first date - Not for me, but it happens !
81. angels - ? :x
other
82. best friend’s name - Lucy and i made jokes of her being lucy from fairy tail a lot before. Now all we do is watch miraculous ladybug and cry
83. eye colour - Brown
84. fave movie - I guess iron giant; i dont watch much movies
85. fave actor - Dont have one !
Tagging: @taeyongtime @taeyxong @jungwxoo @jencto @amorenjun @okmica
Only if youd like ! ^~^ Maybe thisll serve as a break from writing, haha
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630
SEVEN DEADLY SINS
Sin 1: Lust
1. Who was the last person you checked out? Did they check you out too?
Surprise surprise, it’s my girlfriend. Yeah she did - I think I’d start worrying if she didn’t, lmao.
2. Who was the last person you desired, but they didn’t feel the same?
Gab, at one point. Other than her, I haven’t desired anybody else; but I was on the ‘didn’t feel the same’ side at least once, back when Mike used to like me.
3. Ever cheated on a significant other? If so, have you learned from it?
No, I’ve never cheated.
4. Do you watch porn?
Yes. I’d have phases where I’d view it 2-3 times a week, then I’d completely stop for months – kinda like how everyone plays The Sims lol. I don’t know why it works like that for me.
5. Do you masturbate?
Sometimes.
6. Best physical features on your preferred sex?
I don’t have a preferred sex, and my favored features differ per person.
7. Who are some celebrities that you think are totally hot?
Kristen Stewart, if you don’t me already haha. Also Eugene Lee Yang from the Try Guys, Beyoncé, and Jennifer Aniston.
8. Did you ever lust after a best friend’s significant other? How did it turn out?
Mmm nope, I never found myself attracted to Hans in any way. The fact that he has always been associated with Angela ever since high school also helps.
9. When was the last time you had sex?
Like a week before Christmas, I think.
10. Ever pursued someone, even though they were taken?
No, that’s a little awful.
Sin 2: Gluttony
1. When did you last eat at a restaurant? What restaurant was it?
Last Monday – Gab and I went to Yabu to catch dinner. We had been entertaining my mom’s guests and their kid all day and thought we couldn’t leave the house cos it’s a bit impolite, but I had such a craving that I ended up asking permission if we can go to Yabu by 8:30 even though the mall closed by 9 lol. I realize I talk about Yabu an awful lot on here so for those who wanna know, it’s this local Japanese place that serves theeeee best katsu.
2. When did you last have fast food? Where did you get it?
I don’t actually remember. If I’m not wrong, it was around two or three weeks ago, and we had KFC delivered to our house because we were too lazy to cook or go out. I had the Zinger Steak, which I hope they never phase out because it’s insanely good.
3. What was the biggest meal you had all day?
I haven’t eaten yet, and it’s only 10:51 AM.
4. Do you have too many clothes? How often do you go shopping?
I wouldn’t say it’s overwhelmingly many, but I definitely own more clothes than the pieces I’d usually wear, and that’s because I don’t like throwing old stuff out just in case I’d need them in the future (definitely got my great-grandma’s hoarding tendencies). I go shopping once in a few months, which in itself is pretty seldom, but that’s because when I go shopping I usually already buy a shit-ton of new clothes, enough for me to be able to mix and match to come up with new outfits for the next few weeks.
5. What’s something you have a LOT of?
Black clothing. I’ve made an effort to get more colored tops, but the blacks still overpower.
6. Do you eat a lot?
I’m very takaw-tingin, which is a Filipino term used when you get a crapload of food either because you’re hungry or because you’re confident you can finish it – or both – then you never do. Takaw means greedy or glutton, tingin roughly means sight, so it literally means that you just kinda want to get everything because it looks like a lot. So to answer the question, I always feel like I can eat a lot, but at the end of the day I just end up with stomachaches and I never learn.
7. What was the last thing you splurged (spent a lot of money) on?
If a bunch of stuff counts, then I splurged on Christmas presents for various people that I all bought in one go – I got massage oils, a garlic press, a frisbee, Marikina sandals, lipstick, and Instax film.
If you’re talking about a single thing that I had to drop a ton of money on, it was for my dog’s blood test and some arthritis meds that the vet recommended.
8. What do you spend most of your money on (besides bills and anything necessary like that)?
I only ever spend on necessities like gas, clothes, and food, honestly. Other than that... I spend on (and this is very seldom) whatever hobby I’m into at the moment. At one point I spent on slime because I got interested in them, and before that – and y’all know about this – I spent my Christmas savings on adult coloring books and pencils.
9. Last time you ate candy? What was it?
A week or two ago; I had a Crunch bar.
10. Last thing you ate too much of?
Eggs, I think. My mom makes it for breakfast so I have it almost every day.
Sin 3: Greed
1. Do you share things? How often?
Yeah I can be pretty generous with my stuff. I know I’d appreciate it when other people lend me their belongings, so I try to do the same. I once lent my phone to Rita for over an hour just because she wanted to play Mario Kart, and I also lent a book that’s really important to me to an online friend I barely knew; it was with him for like two years, lol.
2. Someone asks you for a piece of your cookie. You break it in half, but the pieces aren’t equal. Who gets the bigger piece?
Usually it would be me; but if the person who asked for it was Gab, or if that particular person likes the cookie I have, then they get the bigger piece.
3. When you see change on the ground, do you pick it up?
Only if it’s a 10-peso coin, because I’m greedily picky like that lmao. Other people might need a peso or a 5-peso coin more, so I leave it be.
4. How often do you lend money to people?
I don’t, and that’s one thing I wouldn’t tend to lend. My parents just give me allowance and it’s usually enough for necessities and for treating myself once or twice a week, so I wouldn’t be able to have some left for others. Besides, that’s my parents’ money and it would be pretty fuckin’ unfair to them if I just give it away to others lmao.
5. Do you loooove money?
I hate what it’s done to society, how it’s divided the rich and the poor, and how the people with the most money also tend to be the most selfish coughcoughBILLIONAIREScoughcough. But I love spending for my own, hah.
6. If someone offers to pay for you, do you decline or readily accept?
Oh no no no. Decline all the way. If they keep insisting then I’ll probably give in because it’s the polite thing to do, but if I can, I’ll keep declining.
7. Which of your friends is the wealthiest?
Rita. Her grandpa is a former senator and she lives in literally the swankiest neighborhood in Metro Manila; I was a bit intimidated when she invited us to her place for the first time lol. She’s the simplest person I know, too; and that’s my favorite kind of rich.
8. Would you take a high-paying job that you didn’t really like just for the money and benefits?
That’s definitely what I plan to do, lmao. At least this is how I know myself now: I have enough money to buy whatever I want, and I’m a happy camper. That may change in a few months or within the next year and I may eventually wanna search for a passion – but for now, it’s the mindset I’m going with when I go job-hunting soon.
If I survived four years of college with a very burnt-out, emptied passion for journalism that I thought I had, I could probs do the same in the workplace.
9. Ever stole from anyone? What about stole from a store? What happened?
I unknowingly stole a box of crayons from a store back when security equipment wasn’t that rigid yet lmao. I realized I ‘stole’ it because I had it in my hands and not in a paper bag when I walked out, so I immediately went back to pay for it. I’ve never stolen anything from anyone.
10. Do you ever have enough money?
I don’t think anyone ever feels this way. Ever heard of billionaires?
Sin 4: Sloth
1. Last thing you procrastinated on?
Washing the dishes last night.
2. When you’re at a strip mall and the next store you want to go to is at the other side, do you drive over there instead of take a short walk?
It depends how far “the other side” is. <-- Yep pretty much. If it’s literally on the other side of a street, then obviously I’d go walk. But in places like my school which is super big and where ‘other side’ could mean 2 km away, a drive would be more convenient.
3. What’s a typical day off of school and/or work like for you?
I’d normally spend the day lazing around on the couch with my dog beside me and lurking around social media.
4. What’s one talent you have that you don’t really work on, even though you have the ability to be good at it?
Public speaking, or debating.
5. How many hours of television do you watch a day?
I keep Friends as a background noise on Netflix nearly all day because I hate when it gets too quiet around me. As for watching on an actual television, I haven’t used one in years.
6. What about the amount of time you spend on the internet a day?
The internet takes up my entire day it’s crazy lol. I kinda need it for everything now.
7. How many hours of sleep do you get a day? Do you sleep in late?
It’s always different. I can go anywhere between 3 and 10 hours of sleep. I don’t sleep in often, though.
8. Do you drive to places that are less than three blocks away?
I don’t know how big blocks are supposed to be since we don’t use that system here. But yes, I usually drive even though Point A to Point B is very much walkable hahaha. My friends make fun of me a lot for it but I don’t care, at least I don’t get to my destination all sweaty and smelling like the sun.
9. When was the last time you exercised?
November, on my last PE class.
10. Ever copied and pasted your homework from a website on the internet?
I never did this. My schools always emphasized the consequences of plagiarism so as someone who always stuck by the rules, I always made sure I at least paraphrased the content I see on the internet.
Sin 5: Wrath
1. If you could kill one person and get away with it, would you do it?
I know it’s pretty dark to come from such a place, but I’ve always thought death is an easy way out for people who’ve done awful things. I could answer this question with a name of a corrupt politician, rapists, or animal abusers, but tbh they don’t deserve the sweet escape of death, even if it were from murder.
2. Is there anyone you honestly and truly can say that you hate?
Anybody who has hurt cats and dogs.
3. Is there anyone you want revenge on, whether you want to get them back big-time or just play a little prank on them for hurting your feelings?
Like I said, I’d daydream about getting revenge just to satiate my desire for it, but I think it’s pretty childish and downright cartoonish to actually go through with it. I’ve only ever seen people getting petty revenge in movies, but it seems a bit stupid in real life.
4. Are you fighting with any friends right now? Why?
No. The most that’s happened was me kinda scolding Andrew for not letting me know beforehand that he submitted our thesis proposal to our prof through VIBER, which is incredibly unprofessional and I definitely let him know what I thought about it. I didn’t fight with him though.
5. Last time you were really angry? What happened?
The aforementioned thesis prof letting me know we’re missing a part of our thesis on the last day for profs to submit their grades. That meant that however early we submitted a revision, she wouldn’t have been able to give it a mark anyway. That definitely pissed me off, especially considering that she was silent for two weeks and didn’t give back any comments which made us think we were good to go.
6. When you’re angry, what do you do to calm yourself down?
I watch Friends or any one of my favorite YouTubers so I can have some relief. Other times, I’d force myself to sleep.
7. “Hate is just the fear of loving someone.” true or false?
No. That makes no sense to me.
8. What’s the best revenge you ever got on someone?
Never done this before.
9. Was there any hard feelings after your last break-up? On whose end was it on?
There were definitely hard feelings in the beginning because she executed the breakup so poorly and I thought I didn’t deserve any of the treatment I was getting, and I was also mad that I wasted my time for that long only for her to break up with me in the end.
10. Ever been cheated on? How did that make you feel?
No.
Sin 6: Envy
1. Is there anyone you’re jealous of? Name a person and tell us why.
Envious is the better word, and I feel this way towards anybody who live with both parents. My dad’s worked overseas all my life, and as grateful as I am for his sacrifices, having a dad at home is more foreign sensation to me than the idea of having a dad who’s gone for 4-6 months a year.
2. List three physical features some other people have that you’re envious of (no need to get specific and name people; you can just say something like “brown eyes” or “having perfect eyebrows”).
Straight teeth, fixed eyebrows, legs that don’t need much shaving.
3. List three personality features that other people have that you’re envious of.
Confidence, independence... is privilege a personality trait lol?
4. Are you a jealous significant other?
I can be. I don’t make a big deal about being jealous as much as I did two or three years ago anymore though.
5. Could you date someone who was really jealous?
Gab can be a little jealous but for the most part it’s endearing because it’s never turned into abuse.
6. What celebrity’s looks do you envy the most?
Audrey Hepburn.
7. Do you think anyone is envious of you? In your opinion, what characteristics (physical and mental) do you possess that you think someone might be envious of?
Being in a long-term relationship, definitely. A lot of people my age want significant others so bad, and I know this because a good chunk of them post the same wish over and over on social media lol.
8. What are a few things you wish you were good at?
Drawing, playing an instrument, dancing ballet, changing a car tire, COOKING.
9. Did you ever date someone, break up, and then see them dating someone very attractive a few days later? Were you jealous of that person?
This has never happened to me.
10. When looking at a love interest’s exes, do you often find yourself jealous of their good-looking exes?
I haven’t had to do this, because I was Gab’s first. I wouldn’t want to fixate on exes if I were in a different situation, though.
Sin 7: Pride
1. What’s something you brag about a lot (be honest–we all brag sometimes)?
My school is easy bragging rights. Everybody wants to be in UP.
2. What physical features do you take the most pride in?
My body figure in general. Also my fingers, legs, and jawline.
3. Are you satisfied with what you have?
Yeah but as the above questions have made it clear, I can always use more money lol.
4. Be honest… when someone is telling you something, do you often change the subject so it’s about you and your accomplishments instead?
NEVER. That’s one of the worst things anyone can do. I feel like I used to do this when I was younger, then it just hit me one day about how tasteless it can be so ever since then I’ve let other people hype themselves up and be excited about accomplishments or new things in their life as much as they want with me, as long as they aren’t being so conceited.
5. Do you like talking about your achievements?
If I’m in a group and we started sharing our achievements then yeah I’d join in. But I wouldn’t bring it up if it wasn’t already being brought up. It’s better to let the accomplishments speak for themselves.
6. Do your parents tend to brag about how well you came out?
My mom is definitely more ~braggier than my dad, but she’s never come off as an asshole about it. If she was, I’d pull her aside.
7. Do you strive to be better than others? Do you think competing with others is healthy?
I keep a mindset of competing with others, but I keep it internal.
8. What do you do better than most people?
See the little details. I’m always surprised at how most of the people I work with just look at the big picture – like how they don’t pay attention to the red squiggle under misspelled words on a group paper (or if they do see it, they don’t do anything about it), or how they don’t seem to care about proper spacing on a Powerpoint and proceed to just dump a bunch of text on one slide. Now this is something I can brag about too, cos a lot of people are just so not detail-oriented lol.
9. Do you believe in taking pride in things you can’t control (ex. being proud of your heritage, being proud of your skin color, being proud of your natural artistic ability)?
I don’t see why that’s an issue.
10. Who are you competing with right now (it could be anything–classmates for a grade, co-workers for a position, other girl for a guy, etc.)?
There’s no particular person, but like I said, I’m always in this perpetual mindset of wanting to compete with others just so I’m more motivated to perform well and get things done.
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Interviewing Gnarstalgia Creator and Skateboarder, Brian Denison.
Brian and I both grew up in the Dallas area and around similar crowds/parks, however we’ve only skated together a handful of times. Despite this, we’ve always kept in touch. About 6 months ago, we got on a call together after speaking online since he has since moved to Colorado, (I’m envious, btw) and we talked about skateboarding and current projects. We quickly realized that our interests in creating something out of all our past skate stories, old footage, and current skills were very much aligned.
Among other projects and ideas, Brian went on to tell me about his new website Gnarstalgia which came with the tagline, “20 years. 80 tapes. 160 hours of stoke.” This, of course, references the 160 hours of skateboarding he has transferred from VHS-C, Hi-8, and Digi-8 tapes into organized and edited videos. After checking it out, I was amazed how much work he put into his edits and the website as a whole. I became super excited about the possibilities of this, (until now) lost footage. We decided to collaborate on a bunch of future skateboarding-inspired projects including my Lost Skate Spots series, some upcoming documentaries & videos, as well as this interview which will focus on his website and Brian himself. Enjoy.
First things first, tell me a little about how you got into skateboarding?
"Haha, yeah, I started skating in early 1999 after playing the snowboarding game Cool Boarders 3 on the first Playstation. I was pretty good at it and was sure I would be good in real life too if I could only get the chance to ride one, but I lived in Corpus Christi, TX, which is about as far from snow as you can get. So my mom told me if I learned to skateboard first, she’d take me snowboarding. I busted out an old Nash I had gotten when I was six and literally rode it till the wheels fell off. I remember one, along with its individual ball bearings rolling down the driveway, but from there, I was hooked. Soon after I started, we moved up to Dallas and I would go ride out in front of my house and at the local school. By then, THPS had just come out and the popularity was exploding. We had a whole grip of kids, like 15-20 that would skate with us. Around that same time I started going to Eisenbergs, and that’s really where I started to meet all the homies. I was there almost every day, and skating solidified into pretty much the only thing I cared about." -- BD
What's your involvement/history with Dallas Skate Crew?
"I knew a lot of the dudes from skating at Eisenbergs. Mostly Juan, Anthony, Murph, and folks like that. But I really spent most of my time hanging out with Sturgeon, Severs, Kyle, James, Shawn, and Jojo. There were a bunch of smaller, random skate crews back then, and they all had different names. Even though I lived in Plano (ugh, I know), I spent most of my time in Garland and Rowlett. I remember Corey Rosales was all about “RSC” - Rowlett Skate Crew. So a lot of us repped that for a while. But as I got older, I was spending more time with the DSC dudes, especially Darby and David Pool. By then it seemed like a lot of the crews were all homies anyway, and DSC was definitely the main one. I had gotten into graffiti and learned how to draw DSC in like a thousand different ways on all my school notebooks. Like a nerdy little kid, I’m pretty sure I asked Anthony or Juan or somebody if it was cool if I rep DSC too, and they were like “Yeah man of course!” So I was stoked, haha. Pretty funny in retrospect, but from my perspective we were all just one big ass group of friends and it was fun to have something like that that held the crew together. I remember Anthony had written a small bit about the history of DSC on this super old website too. Probably super long defunct now. But it was about how the whole thing got started when they were young too. OG shit. It’s rad to be a part of it all, and much respect to all the homies." -- BD
What was one of your favorite skating memories from filming?
"Dude, I’ve got so many! But the best one probably has to do with when Kyle Estes ollied the old 16 stair at Richardson High School. I think it’s a 20 now, but in the same spot. I remember Kyle was only 12 at the time, so the set was literally 4 more stairs than he was old. Insane! He was obsessed with Baker back then, and we all were like oh shit! This is definitely gonna get you on the team! He repped Baker hard, and had also just done a PERFECT backside flip down the Garland 9, so dude was on fire. I think it was Kyle, Sturgeon, Shawn, Jojo and me there that day. After like 10 slams, he ended up getting the rollaway (check out the footage below!). But a few months after that, another local, Tyler Maguffee, told me he wanted to fs board it. Tyler, Jojo and me went to go check it out and ended up bondo-ing the crack in front of the rail so he could hit it. But as luck would have it, we got caught. We tried to play it off, like we were students there who had tripped and fallen on the stairs and wanted to fix the crack. Security did NOT fall for it though, haha. The next time we went back, they had skate-stopped it. SHIT! Sad to say it, but don’t think it ever got skated again. Fast forward a decade or so, and I’m working on Gnarstalgia, but one of the only tapes I can’t find is the one with Kyle’s 16 stair ollie. So bummed. Then one day while I was hanging out with David Pool, I told him about the project I was working on, and how I wish I had that tape. By some magic of the universe he looked me dead in my eye and goes “Bro… I know where it is.” He then walked over to a safe, cracked it open, and inside was not just the “Kyle 16 Stair Ollie” tape, but also several of his own that he had filmed. What a lucky break! We took the photo below out of sheer disbelief. So huge shoutout to David for keeping that thing safe all these years." -- BD
What skateboarders, pro or otherwise, inspire you most?
"My favorite skater right now is probably Robert Neal. Dude has the sickest style, and always looks like he’s having the best time on and off his board. But in general, I’m just glad to still get to skate as much as I do. And to still have plenty of other people to skate with who love it just as much as me. It’s those who never lost the love for it who I find most inspiring. " -- BD
Tell me about your recently released project Gnarstalgia.com and how it came to be.
"So I spent a ton of time filming in the early 2000s. I would capture my footage each week, and edit all kinds of montages and sponsor-me tapes for the homies. I was on pace to release a video around ‘03 or ‘04. But this was during the time peer-to-peer sharing sites like Limewire and Kazaa were super popular. So in addition to logging multiple gigs of footage onto my poor little 56k computer, I was also downloading tons of other shit that was riddling my computer with viruses. And of course, I was not smart enough to back up my work on an external hard drive. The computer crashed and I lost practically all of it. The only things that were salvaged were the original tapes and any edits I had transferred over to them. I then spent the next year re-uploading everything and backing it up on external hard drives, completely determined to still release the video. But of course, I didn’t learn my lesson about Limewire and Kazaa, and kept downloading shit. Before long, the computer AND the external hard drives were also destroyed by viruses and I lost it all again. That pretty much killed any fire I had left in me, and I just gave up on filming and editing for a long, long time. It wouldn’t be till college that I started to dabble again. But in all the years since I lost the edits, I knew I wanted to make a video using the old shoeboxes full of VHS-C, Hi-8, and Digi-8 tapes I had sitting in the closet. I knew it would be a years-long endeavor, so I kept putting it off. Around 2018 though, I realized I was coming up on 20 years of skating, and releasing a video with all that long-lost footage seemed the perfect way to celebrate. By then, I had lost touch with a lot of the main people in the video. I’m sure they never expected to see that footage again. Out of nowhere, the name Gnarstalgia just popped in my head and the thought of surprising everyone with it got me super amped to get started. But it took a full year to make it through all 80 tapes, capturing each fun clip and trick. From there, I had to start editing. I barely knew how to use Premiere, so I spent tons of time watching tutorials on YouTube to learn how to use overlays, mattes, color correction, logo animations, and troubleshoot countless problems that popped up. I really enjoyed it too. I was having a blast! But after the pandemic began, I decided to double down. This was the perfect time to dive in and really finish the whole thing. Finally, 2.5 years after I started the project, the whole thing was done. Two trailers, a 20-year recap, Eisenbergs Edit, Street Edit, Park Edit and Demo Edit. Plus a website featuring tons of long-lost montages and video parts from some of Dallas’ most well-known skaters. And all starting with some of their earliest footage. I think the name Gnarstalgia really does capture it. It truly is 20 years. 80 tapes. 160 hours of stoke." -- BD
Where can people connect with you online and check out your stuff? [LINKS BELOW]
"You can find all 55+ videos on gnarstalgia.com, as well as the Gnarstalgia YouTube. Follow @gnarstalgia_video on Instagram for highlights, unused clips, and tons of other old footage submitted from all your favorite Dallas skaters and filmers. P.S. Huge shoutout to Jon Snyder (@Mini_Ramp), Mo Duncan Jr (@ModuncanJr), David Pool (@Timothy_Leary), Darby (@Darby_McVay), and everyone else for contributing old Dallas footage as well. And to Eric Kuhns for all the killer stuff he’s been putting out the last few years as well. You guys have made the project even more rewarding and enjoyable than I ever could have expected. Cheers! And keep skating 🤙 " -- BD
Final Thoughts:
I’d like to thank Brian for taking the time to do this interview and I can’t recommend his website enough. Dallas has produced so many shredders and Gnarstalgia.com shows off so much of what has made the skateboarding scene here so amazing. I’d also like to add that this was one of my favorite interviews I’ve ever done and I can’t wait to create and collab more with Brian.
Additionally, check out the latest Lost Skate Spots episode where I discuss the now shutdown, Freestyle Skatepark. We hear Brian tell us a story from back in the day as well as share some footage for an edit he filmed that includes Bam Margera, Ed Templeton, Billy Marks, tons of locals, and more.
#Brain Denison#Gnarstalgia#Dallas Skate Crew#THPS#Kyle Estes#David Pool#Skateboarding#Darby#Rowlett Skate Crew#Sturgeon#jojo
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I got tagged by @classictownshend hey thank you :)
Rules: Answer the 92 statements and tag 20 people
LAST:
1. Drink: coffee with milk
2. Phone call: no idea...
3. Text message: a friend showing her a shampoo we’ve been talking about
4. Song: “Surfing with a spoon”, Midnight Oil
5. Time you cried: last saturday, during jiujitsu class, someone made me roll over my neck and I felt like it was about to break. I did not cry for all to see, but I was scared and my eyes filled with tears haha i think i cried deep inside
HAVE YOU:
6. Dated someone twice: maybe, i am not sure if it would count
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: my second bf
8. Been cheated on: i am sure I was, but never knew
9. Lost someone special: yes
10. Been depressed: maybe, but depression is a too serious thing to call it. I can say I did had some down moments in life
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes. this is why i can’t bear the smell of champagne today 🤢
LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:
12. red
13. black
14. royal blue
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends: yes
16. Fallen out of love: no
17. Laughed until you cried: haha yes
18. Found out someone was talking about you: no
19. Met someone who changed you: not last year, but this year yes
20. Found out who your friends are: no they are still the same
21. Kissed someone on you Facebook list: in fact yes, but i regret too
GENERAL:
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life?: 99,9%. I do not add people I don’t know or at least have some direct contact, even virtually
23. Do you have any pets?: yes, 1 cat 2 dogs
24. Do you want to change your name?: no, i am lazy to put a name on my cat, imagine having to change mine.. what a responsibility!
25. What did you do for your last birthday?: had a normal day, with an exam at uni and such. but my jiujitsu mates did a corridor to beat me with their belts (martial arts tradition). haah it hurts but it was really fun! tender big huge guys❤️
26. What time did you wake up?: 6:00
27. What were you doing at midnight last night?: sleeping
28. Name something you can’t wait for: summer vacations
29. When was the last time you saw your mom?: yesterday
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life?:i wish I could learn things faster, because there are so many things i’d like t learn
31. What are you listening to right now: early birds singing (it’s 7 in the morning)
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no, not a common name here in Brasil
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the things I know will get on my nerves within some weeks from now😩 (uni things)
34. Most visited website: tumblr and vintage news
?????? MORE QUESTIONS
35. Mole/s: many. i have a secret and particular one .. you know where your buttocks meet? well, right there
36. Mark/s: none
37. Childhood dream: be a truck driver lol
38. Haircolor: light brown
39. Long or short hair: long
40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes, but I rather not to think about it, he has gf, and i have important things to make my mind usefully busy but he is oh-so dreamy...
41. What do you like about yourself?: the way i’ve changed recently for better. I used to be afraid of changes and trying new things, of leaving my comfort zone. Now I practice 2 martial arts and this helps a lot to not only build courage but face your small silly fears and it proves to me that I can try and learn anything I want without any fear; I study in another town and do not complain, and have good grades. I am able to try and see if I can do it, not the opposite like “i wont even try because I am sure I can’t do it". I am open to face new things.
42. Piercings: no
43. Bloodtype: i think it is O+ but not sure
44: Nicknames: people call me anyway they like
45. Relationship status: single and tranquil
46. Zodiac: Leo
47. Pronouns: she/her
48. Favorite TV show: none
49. Tattoos: i’d like it, but none yet
50. Right or Left hand?: right
51: Surgery: yes, but 20 years ago
52. Hair dyed a different color: never, my hair is so cute hahah even hair stylists think I dye it, but it is natural highlighted
53. Sport: muay thai, jiu jitsu (every girl should learn it!), some bike and some running (in spare time)
54. Vacation: i spend my time at home. i have a beach 1km from here hah
55. Pair of trainers: funny question
MORE??
56. Eating: pizza and milanesas (uruguayan please)
57. Drinking: caipirinha please
59. I’m about to: bathe my cat (he won’t escape today), clean my dog (he is old, cannot take a proper bath or he gets sick ahha )
61. Waiting for: afternoon. sunny day and cleaning the beach event
62. Want: peace of mind
63. Get married: no. But future is not exactly under our control. In the event of suddenly finding someone REALLY worthwhile and we want to share our lives.. but not a marriage. In fact, i think I will have to sleep in different room (look, i have spent more than 30 years in my own privacy, having another body snoring and moving while i sleep is not exactly comfortable to think about. Sleeping is something holy)
64. Career: i am studying to be physical educator
65. Hugs or kisses: being alone for so so long makes me long for warm hugs instead of kisses.
66. Lips or eyes: eyes
67. Shorter or taller: anything is taller than me. so...
68. Older or younger: anything is younger than me, so...
70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach is nice, it is most of the times indicator of activity. don’t take me bad but i like active sportive people, sorry (i am active)
71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive. i like quietness
72. Hookup or relationship: relationship. I don’t want to spend my time or get hurt
73. Troublemaker or hesitant: balanced
74. Kissed a stranger: no. but i had met him a few time ago, and i knew his name
75. Drank hard liquor: yeah
76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: sunglasses yes, once I ran over my own sunglasses riding my own bike. How? ask einstein
77. Turned someone down: probably
78. Sex on the first date: did it but do not recommend if you are not a indifferent person
79. Broken someone’s heart: probably, but not on purpose. so he must have deserved it hua hua hua
80. Had your heart broken: yes
81. Been arrested: no
82. Cried when someone died: yes
83. Fallen for a friend: no, funny because I see friends like brothers.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
84. Yourself: sure, if i don’t, who will?
85. Miracles: no
86. Love at first sight: no.. but yesterday I saw a guy on the bus that holy shit something hit me! i see nice guys everyday and very often.. but this one shook me.. he left the bus and I was “wtf? who is him?” and almost went after him and forgot my crush from the question 40. hahah matters of life
87. Santa Clause: no why!
88. Kiss on the first date: yes
89. Angels: when it is necessary haha
Other:
90. Current best friend’s name: my cat, Meow
91. Eye color: some kind of green
92. Favorite movie: i have many films i like but do not have a fave
Tagging:
@fondantfancyfree @frottingwithfreddie @silkmoony @suzcatonmars @inthelapofthegods74 @little-niggah-sugar @c-136 @sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face @whitequeen0124 @sophia-dusk @rock-n-roll-curly-blonde @queenofdawn71 @itsloveit @soupinthelaundrybag @ronniesshoes @insanity--on--a--stick @vivi-ntvg @fancybasementfestival @brianmaysbread @scoreofvolunteers
20 is a lot. everyone was tagged before :(
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what advice would you give incoming freshman or students in general for college?? i noticed in one of your posts you said you were a senior so you must have picked some things up
aw heck, i’m not sure im the best to give advice but i’ll try to give you some advice since this isnt my first rodeo
1. when I was a freshmen I didn’t know anyone at my college, all my friends went to a state university and I went to a liberal arts college haha. but I will say, it was absolutely terrifying (But exciting) for me to even think about leaving my hometown and live away from home. I didn’t even know who my roommate was going to be. but, in the end when I moved down to usao I knew that i wasn’t going to do myself any favors by locking myself in my room so I went out of my way to try and make friends. and I definitely did make friends, which leads me to my next point: youre probably going to lose the first friends you make. Maybe not by choice, but it happens. you meet so many new people and its a new experience and….sometimes those relationships dont work out, and thats ok. its a learning experience but youll find people who stick around and make college a fun experience. I lost friends, gained friends, and lost friends again.
2. go…..to class………….. you’re not doing yourself or your professor any favors by not showing up. hey…you’re the one paying for the class why not just show up and try. Sometimes I know its fucking hard. I go through these depressive weeks where I just cant force myself to get out of bed and walk to a class that I hated but I knew all i was doing was digging myself a hole I wouldn’t get out of by not showing up. yes, I know sometimes shit happens, like when you get sick and stuff and yes, if you’re fuckin throwing up or have a fever, dont go to class and get everyone else sick too. But do try and make an effort to find out what you did that day by asking around, ask another student if you can look at their notes for the day you missed, almost always, even if they dont really know you will be like “Yea” and then you can just snap a pic of the notes on your phone. (also another thing, dont fucking leave early unless its an emergency, thats fucking rude, and it almost always pisses off the professors and shows that you dont care)
3. books are fucking expensive, if you can, check out websites that sell textbooks cheaper (ebooks for like tablets or laptops are usually not very expensive) or honestly even just go to the library and see if they have the book, they probably wont let you check it out but you cansit there and read it or take pics on your phone for later. sometimes if youre real sneaky, you can sometimes find a pdf of a textbook online ;)
4. you’re going to eat really shitty food. and im sorry, sometimes there is just no way around that. Even your cafe is probably going to be terrible (i know mine is…..unless you go to a school that is well funded…….) you’re going to live in your dorm/apartment and youre going to go “wow all i have is this really tiny fucking mini fridge and a shitty microwave and those “cute life hacks for dorm life eating” are usually bullshit or just still out of budget. You’re probably going to be eating fuckin a microwavable bowl of mac and cheese with sriracha sauce because youre so tired of the flavor and thats ok. water is free….
5. if you live on campus and there is a laundrymat on campus. fucking change the lint trap on the dryer….please…. you dont know how many times ive tried to wash my clothes and seen that 3 people before me didnt even bother to clean the lint trap. Last semester a fire started in our dorms because one of the dryers finally caught on fire bc some students didn’t change the damn lint trap….
6. parties are….always going to happen. Try to stay safe yo…dont be fucking stupid, especially if you are underage. just dont be fucking stupid.
7. sometimes youre going to want to binge watch an entire fucking anime or show instead of study. and 100% of the time youre going to regret it. But its going to happen, do not kid yourself. But maybe while studying, take breaks and do things that will relax or calm you down before studying again. (Also. yes. studying at night before an exam will help, even if you feel like you totally got that test, just reading over it and looking over your notes before bed can help you out, or…well its always helped me out)
8. if you live in the dorms, youre going to want to decorate to make it cute and fun :)! and you can do it…..but just remember in a fucking year that all has to come down.
9. (this is from lizard, a recent graduate and her fucking planners) for the week/month list out what you need to get done that week and put them in a planner distributed throughout the week/month so you’re not just overwhelmed at the end of the month
10. take care of yourself, ok? sometimes we really like to get caught up in the “college life” its almost like…a game of who can make themselves the most miserable and one up the other students “oh YOU only had 5 hours of sleep??? well I haven’t even slept!!!” like, yea there are going to be days where allnighters are probably going to happen, but dont kill yourself over college. Take breaks, manage your time so you don’t have to stay up too late to work (although sometimes it just happens) and make time for you. Take care of yourself mentally and physically, youll thank yourself later.
ok im sorry this is long and kinda stupid at some parts but idk. there is probably a lot i can talk about but that question was a bit broad (i didn’t even really get into my art side of college which is a lil different) so if anyone does have questions or advice over a certain thing in college or something then shoot haha
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Koi wo Shiranai Bokutachi wa (We Don’t Know Love Yet) - Chapter 1 - Translation
Are you guys interested in Minami Mizuno’s (Nijiiro Days) new work, Koi wo Shiranai Bokutachi wa, or, We Don’t Know Love Yet?
I had some free time this week so I decided to try to translate the first chapter! The art is gorgeous and the story seems to be interesting.
Follow the translations with the raws from this website or this one. I hope you enjoy it!~
Since this is the first chapter, here is brief introduction of the characters:
Eiji Aihara: the main character, he’s a library committee member
Naohiko Bessho: main character’s friend since middle school
Ikezawa: Eiji and Naohiko’s classmate, also a library committee member
Taichi: library committee member
Unnamed girl: seems like she’ll appear more in the next chapters (she is in the color spread after all)
Izumi: Naohiko’s girlfriend and Eiji’s friend from middle school (I think it’s her in the picture)
Notes: I used “” for thought bubbles, () for handwritten text outside the speech bubbles, ** for onomatopoeia and the texts that are in squares in the manga i left without any mark, I hope it’s easy to understand!
p.1
It’s something I didn’t realize.
At that time,
If I did it this way,
Even if I thought about it afterwards,
It’d be already too late.
p.2-3
We meet new people and then we discover new emotions
p.4
When I was a middle schooler, if I found a senior that was cute,
I’d be excited all by myself
Girl: Ah, Aihara-ku-n
Girl: Here, here!
Girl: Look down!
*peeks*
Eiji: ?
p.5
Eiji: Ah, those girls are from the tennis club. That girl is Ooi-senpai. (I saw her at the club presentation)
Eiji: They were waving at me so I waved back anyways…
*smiles*
But now
Eiji: It’s kind of weird…
Naohiko: Eiji!
Eiji: Oh, Naohiko!! Hey!
Naohiko: Hey!
p.6
Naohiko: What is that? Are you still watching the seniors? (You really like that)
Eiji: That’s not it! I was called from below so I was replying
Eiji: As expected, I’ve grown taller
Eiji: And, gradually, I’ve become cool!!
Naohiko: You’ve really grown taller
Naohiko: Even though, you were so small in middle school
Eiji: I wasn’t that small!! What about you? You wore glasses, right?
Naohiko: It’s difficult to do club activities while wearing glasses!!!
Naohiko: Well, instead of talking about those things
Naohiko: Eiji, did you do your homework?
p.7
Eiji: I completely forgot...!!
entirely blank
Naohiko: I knew it… if you don’t do it fast, the person in charge today will collect it.
Ikezawa: Aihara-kun
Ikezawa: I’m collecting the english homework… …….....
*stares*
Eiji: Hehe…
Eiji: Ikezawa, are you in charge today~~?
Eiji: Sorry, but I’ll turn it in myself
*aah*
Ikezawa: It looks like it
p.8
Ikezawa: Also, today is the day of duty of library committee members
Ikezawa: The other day you skipped it, right?
Eiji: No, that’s not it
Eiji: That day I just forgot it…
Ikezawa: If you don’t come, I’ll be enraged
Ikezawa: Be sure to come
Eiji: … Yes…
Ikezawa: Then, I’m counting on you
Eiji: I’m not good dealing with her… (Ugh)
Eiji: She’s always angry at me…. (it’s scary)
Naohiko: It’s your fault, right?
Naohiko: She’s usually kind to me
Eiji: What!!?
p.9
Eiji: You are cheating!! You are cheating, right!?
Naohiko: What!!? That’ not it. She’s just a nice person…
*rings*
Naohiko: …!! That timing
Eiji: Doesn’t she have a good sense of suspiciousness?
Naohiko: Stop it! I didn’t mean that!! (That’s not it)
Eiji: Hehe
Eiji: Is Izumi doing okay?
p.10
Naohiko: She’s fine
Izumi’s message: Good morning~ It’s raining since morning here >_< It’d be good if the sky cleared soon
Izumi is
Naohiko’s girlfriend and now they are in a long distance relationship
The three of us went to the same middle school
We were good friends and always did things like going home together
I don’t have a girlfriend, though
Boy: (Hey! I looks like we’ll have soccer in PE)
Eiji: (Really!? That’s great!!)
p.11
I entered high school and several months went by
I even got used to the new environment
And somehow I’m living happily
It should be like this, but
Sometimes, suddenly,
I feel that there’s something lacking
p.12
I wonder why…...
「Re-submission」
Eiji: “……..”
Eiji: “Maybe I’m lacking studying……”
Eiji: “It must not be that kind of problem…”
Naohiko: Eiji! I’m going to my club activities
Eiji: Ah! I’m also going to the library
Ah! It must be my imagination!!
*slam*
Eiji: Hey
p.13
Ikezawa: You’re late!
Eiji: Ikezawa, you could have waited for me. We are in the same classroom
Ikezawa: Weren’t you with Bessho?
Eiji: Even if I was with Naohiko you could have called me
Ikezawa: Yes, yes, I understand. For the time being, you can join me here
Eiji: Hey…
So,
it’s only the two of us…?
Ikezawa: (What is this, another mistake?)
Eiji: It’s kind of awkward… (she must be angry again)
p.14
*sigh*
Taichi: Ah, hey!!
Eiji: Tachi!! A friend is here!
Eiji: Taichi, you also came today?
Taichi: Yup, only Nagato-senpai is not here
Eiji: What do we have to do?
Taichi: Just stick the labels~
Eiji: That’s easy! I’m glad we don’t have to go outside. We’ll finish it soon
Taichi: That other day I had to go to Yamanote library…
p.15
Eiji: Wow, that’s harsh!! I absolutely hate that!
Taichi: Right!? We had to carry too much for only 3 people
Ikezawa: Excuse-me
Ikezawa: Please don’t talk in such a loud voice
Ikezawa: What will we do if even the committee members are so loud?
Eiji: Yes
Taichi: ...……
*whisper*
Eiji: She gets angry very easily
Eiji: Don’t you also….
*gazey*
Eiji: ………….
p.16
Eiji: Why is your face red?
Taichi: Because she’s cute ♡
Eiji: No, she was angry, right?
Taichi: That’s why? I feel that I’m lucky ♡ she got angry at me
Eiji: You have a really weird taste!!
Taichi: She’s cute when she’s serious!! (And her eyes are pretty!!)
Eiji: Oh~ I really don’t understand~ I prefer…
*jumps*
Eiji: Ah
Taichi: Prefer?
Taichi: What?
p.17
Eiji: No… it’s nothing special...
Taichi: Whoa! Putting in parentheses. So lewd
Eiji: That’s not it
Taichi: Really? Ah! Do you have a girlfriend?
Eiji: I don’t
Taichi: What about a girl you like?
Eiji: There isn’t one
Taichi: What? So boring
Eiji: Why is that?
Taichi: Well, that’s not fun
Eiji: ….fun. It’s fun
Eiji: At least sometimes
p.18
Eiji: But, still, I feel something is lacking
Taichi: That’s it!
Eiji: What?
Taichi: Because you don’t have a girl you like!
Taichi: Because you are a lonely boy, it’s boring!
Eiji: ………
Eiji: I’m not lonely!! And it’s not boring!! (And what’s up with that face?)
Taichi: Is that so? (hum)
p.19
Taichi: Since I’ve joined the library committee, things have gotten su-per fun ♡
Eiji: …………
Taichi: You know, girls
Taichi: even boys would think so!!
*gasp*
*roar*
Ikezawa: …how many times… do I have to call your attention……..
*scowl*
I
even if it’s fun
I don’t like such a scary girl
p.20
Naohiko: Ahaha!
Naohiko: Then, yesterday she got angry at you twice
Naohiko: Indeed, in the morning she also scolded you
Eiji: That’s right. But it was because Taichi had such a nice story
Naohiko: Taichi must be that guy
Naohiko: The one with long hair from class 2, Senami
Eiji: Right, right
Naohiko: He must be a funny guy. Next time, introduce him to me
Eiji: Alright, but he’s weird
Eiji: It looks like he’s interested in Ikezawa
p.21
Eiji: I mean, Ikezawa is not in the cafeteria, right?
*looks around*
Naohiko: I don’t see her
If she heard it
She’d get angry again
Nagato: Ah! Aihara-kun!
Eiji: Nagato-senpai!
Nagato: Didn’t you forget your charger in the library?
Nagato: I saw your mark in it
Eiji: Woah, really? I’ll go look for it
Eiji: Sorry, Naohiko. I’ll go take a look
Naohiko: Okay~ See you in the classroom
I’m relieved~
It was in the library
p. 22
Yesterday, I went home leaving it there
Eiji: Hey! I forgot something so can I enter in the back?
Girl: It’s okay~
Eiji: It’s really here!
Eiji: I don’t have to buy a new one
Ack!
Ikezawa!!
Eiji: Yo- you were here…
Ikezawa: Yes, what is it?
p.23
Eiji: No, I just came to get something I forgot
Ikezawa: The charger?
Ikezawa: I was thinking who’d be charging stuff here
Eiji: Haha…..
Eiji: Well…
Eiji: Ah! Are you taking that down? Should I help?
Ikezawa: ...it’s alright
Ikezawa: It doesn’t seem to be that heavy
Ikezawa: It’s fine
Eiji: No, because on top….
*shaky*
p.24
Eiji: Ah…
*shaky*
Eiji: It’s danger-
Ikezawa: Eh?
Ikezawa: Kya…
!!
*thump*
*rustle**rustle**rustle*
Eiji: Whoa-....
Eiji: There were books inside as well. It hurts-....
Eiji: Are you alright!!?
Eiji: Ikezawa!!!
p.26
Ikezawa: Ye- yes….
Eiji: That’s good. Then you can get out
Eiji: I’ll put this down
Eiji: I mean, this is also heavy. What is inside this?
Ikezawa: Thank-
Girl: Hey!
Girl: Is everything okay!!? Did something fall!?
Eiji: Yeah, everything’s okay. The small one just fell, but
Eiji: I could hold the big one. And...!!
*throb*
Eiji: ……..
p.27
Somehow
It seems twisted
Eiji: As expected…
Eiji: Isn’t a bandage wound exaggerated?
Eiji: It doesn’t hurt that much
Naohiko: Still, it’s better not to move too much
Eiji: Hmph… This is a man’s honour… (It can’t be helped)
Naohiko: Hey, take a look outside
Naohiko: Because you did something rare, like helping a girl
Naohiko: It started raining like this (Now, club activities will be muscle training)
*pouring rain*
Eiji: That has nothing to do with raining, right?
p.28
Eiji: Since long before, I’m a man that helps other people!!
Naohiko: First time I hear this
Girl: Do the cleaning, you two~
See 'ya
Bye bye!
*grasp**grasp*
Eiji: “It hurts a bit when I put force in it”
Eiji: “To have twisted it like this”
Eiji: “It’s weakened...” (shit)
Well, rather than worrying about that
p.29
I should be worrying about this rain
*pouring rain*
Eiji: “I don’t have an umbrella”
Eiji: “And I didn’t look the weather forecast...”
Eiji: “It doesn’t look like it’ll stop” (What should I do?)
*whoosh*
Eiji: ………..
Eiji: He- hey...
Eiji: You didn’t bring an umbrella as well?
Ikezawa: What? I brought it
*pulls*
p.30
Eiji: Of course
Eiji: Ikezawa is the kind of person that would bring it
Ikezawa: ……….
Ikezawa: Wanna come with me?
Eiji: You’re kidding, right!? What happened, Ikezawa!! (You’re being gentle!!)
Ikezawa: Rude!!
Ikezawa: I’d do that much, at least
Ikezawa: You don’t have an umbrella, right?!
Eiji: Yup (I’m worried about it)
Eiji: “Hm? Wait?” (Thinking about it….)
“Taichi: I got a thing for Ikezawa”
p.31
Eiji: Well, sorry. Let’s stop this~
Ikezawa: It’s only until the station. Let’s go
Eiji: No, it’s that...
Ikezawa: I have no ulterior motives, so relax
Ikezawa: It’s just an apology
Ikezawa: Since you covered me
Ikezawa: Thank you very much
Eiji: ……..ah-………
p.32
Eiji: You are, unexpectedly, honest…
Ikezawa: ……………
Ikezawa: It’s not unexpected
Eiji: Haha
Eiji: Okay!!
*splash*
Eiji: I’ll accept your kind offer, just this time (Excuse-me)
Ikezawa: Go ahead (It’s narrow, though)
p.33
Ikezawa: Is your hand okay?
Eiji: I can handle it
Taichi: ……….
*pouring rain*
Boy: Hey Aihara
Eiji: Heey!
p.34
Eiji: Ah, Taichi! Morning!
Taichi: Do you
Taichi: have a minute?
Eiji: Why did we have to come to a corner?
Taichi: Yesterday
Taichi: You went home with Ikezawa, right?
p.35
Eiji: Ah… Yup, I went with her until the station under her umbrella
Eiji: She said it was an apology
Taichi: What do you mean by apology?!
Eiji: I covered her when things were going to fall over her
Eiji: Before going home I thought about you, but it was just a favor
Eiji: I even rejected her offer once!!
Taichi: ………..
Eiji: As expected, it was bad….
Taichi: Bad… It’s not that it was bad
Taichi: That’s not it…
p.36
Taichi: It’s that you
Taichi: You’re so sly!!
Eiji: …!!!
Eiji: Well, I’m really sorry
Eiji: It was only an accident
Taichi: Even if it was an accident, I should have saved her!!
Taichi: This way she’d have shared the umbrella with me!!
Taichi: Can’t it be that you are actually into her!?
Eiji: What!?
p.37
Eiji: Of course not!!
Eiji: Idiot!
Taichi: To begin with, you are in the same classroom, right!!?
Taichi: You are sly, and that’s the first reason!!
Eiji: That’s not it!!
Taichi: What!? I should be the one angry here!!
Eiji: You! You are the one picking weird fights here!!
Eiji: Before picking a fight with me, confess to her!!
Taichi: ……that…
p.38
Taichi: If I could…
Taichi: I wouldn’t be doing such a lame thing
Eiji: ...What is that face?
Eiji: Shouldn’t it be fun
Eiji: When you have a person you like
Eiji: It doesn’t look fun in the least
Taichi: …it is
Taichi: But
Taichi: It can also be painful
Taichi: You understand that much…
p.39
Eiji: ….I don’t
Eiji: For me there was nothing but pain
Taichi: What?
Eiji: ...for the time being
Eiji: You losing your temper at me was a mistake
Eiji: Nothing happened, so calm down
Eiji: Do that only after you are in a relationship
Taichi: ……..
Taichi: ...sorry
Eiji: It’s fine but
Eiji: Do you really understand Ikezawa?
p.40
Taichi: I’m really sorry…
Eiji: Even if you are jealous, don’t get carried away!!
Eiji: It seems that, before long, you’ll start saying things like “don’t talk to me” (That’s unreasonable)
Taichi: Of course I wouldn’t say that!!
Taichi: Shit~ I’m acting like a girl…!! Argh
Taichi: In truth, I have no reason to be like that
Eiji: That’s true. And that face?
Taichi: My face has nothing to do with it!!
Eiji: Joking. Joking. (hehe)
Eiji: Everybody is like that
Eiji: You don’t have to worry about it
p.41
Eiji: Even I
Eiji: Went through something similar
Taichi: ….
Taichi: You really…
Taichi: Are not into Ikezawa?
Eiji: I’m not!! (You are persistent)
Looking at Taichi,
Once again, I start wondering
p.42
If the thing I feel I’m lacking is
Not being in love with someone
Naohiko: Ah
Naohiko: “I found Eiji!!“
Naohiko: “He’s with Senami”
Naohiko: “It’s early!”
Naohiko: He-y!
Naohiko: Eiji!!?
*bam*
p.43
Naohiko: Ouch...
Girl: Ah
Girl: I’m sorry...
Naohiko: No…
*step step*
Naohiko: She’s carrying a lot of bags. Was there something today...?
That’s why I’ve decided
I won’t fall in love
Since that time
message: (Naohiko) Earlier, suddenly I found Eiji…
message: (Naohiko) And then, in the morning he was quarreling with a friend and then they became really close. He’s amazing lolol
Izumi (?): *giggle*
Izumi: What is Eiji doing?
Izumi: It must be fun…
Right?
Izumi
So, what did you guys think? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Feel free to leave it on the comments bellow (if you are using a pc) or send an ask ^^
#We Don’t Know Love Yet#Koi wo Shiranai Bokutachi wa#My translations#恋を知らない僕たちは#Minami Mizuno#KoiBoku
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