Where do you begin and does bipolar end?

Question I’ve been asking myself lately—from one struggling bipolar to the next

this is a good one bc it really is hard to tell sometimes 😭 i feel like ive been having mental health issues from s u c h a young age that everything just sort of melds and all of those symptoms seem like they were formative to my self and personality (whether or good or bad) so drawing that line is hard….but necessary!

i think for me i can recognize now that when im actively trying to manage my mood and symptoms (which is not all the time lol) there comes out a kind of version of me that feels authentic, and usually i can identify that through my creativity/writing i think?? when im not dealing with depression or mania or Whatever constellation of shit is going on i see myself engaging in my interests in a way that actually feels good and healthy, and i kind of identify That Person with a separation from bipolar

but! i also know that the fundamental way i process my emotions and everything around me is always going to be filtered through the lens of neurodivergency and bipolar regardless of how seperate i feel from it or how healthy at any given moment. when im managing myself decently and reading, writing, going out into nature and doing the things i like (and actually enjoying them!!) i actually can appreciate the fact that theres this different element to the way i think….

that got rambly and long but i think in summation lmao i always sort of feel an attachment to my bipolar because it is always there, but depending on how well im managing it that becomes either a good thing or a bad thing ❤️