do you have any thirst hcs for grandpapi neuvi? if you do pls share i’m so hungry 🤲

hydro dragonussy [m.reader]

hello hello, guess who’s back to writing again? this is a warmup because i struggled hard in continuing my kaveh request wip and a buncha scenarios for sick reader w genshin men and jing yuan all at once. on second thought… i think i really shouldn’t have written everything all at once. not to mention i’m trying out quotev to publish my yandere oc/m.reader stuff for fun. + yes that is the title. it’s either that or crybaby old man dragon thirsts. you pick.

𖦹 nsfw, neuvi is a virgin old man, underlying mentions of reader being an attorney (we all know i have a bias for them anyway, have you seen my workload series? lmao), switch male reader, switch neuvi, though we’re heavily leaning on bottom neuvi for this one, honorable mentions of cockwarming and thigh fucking, brief mention of double penetration (reader receiving), gentle and rough sex, implied dacryphilia (you), breeding, fontaine rains whether or not he’s sad, his tears are the rain and i will drink them like a hungry eremite in the sumeru desert.

Let’s face it, Neuvillette has no time outside of his work as the Iudex of Fontaine, he’s constantly buried underneath those paperworks, and on top of that, when he’s not tackling mountains of cases, he’s out in the opera, presiding trial after trial when the Oratrice can already do the same thing for him.

So when you appeared in his life all of a sudden, he was new to all sorts of things. In his long life as a dragon, he has had little experience in what you can offer to him. He’s awkward for the first few moments of your relationship.

It’s the same to sex — you’d have to take initiative in every single little thing, show him the ropes like the good commander you are, and he obeys with no complaints. He sees that you enjoy it, and if you’re good at it and you’re willing to teach him, he is an obedient patient.

Old man’s heads are very clumsy at first, teeth scraping against your length while he slowly but surely bobbed his head. He’s slow, but he treats your little guy with so much care. Looking up at you with tears pricking at the ends of his eyes as he tried to please you as best as he could. Obligatory weather report — it’s a light drizzle in Fontaine.

But when you give him head, Neuvillette squirms, it doesn’t matter where he is, he could not keep himself still. It’s always obvious that even you cannot bring yourself to blow him semi-public in his office, just because you’re afraid a poor innocent little Melusine would come inside and see their beloved leader squirming around traumatize them. It would also be bad for his image if you guys get caught, so… sexy times are inside the comfort of his possibly huge home as much as possible.

Sex with him is slow and intimate, very romantic. What did you expect? He’s from Fontaine and they apparently love to romanticize things. Whether or not who’s on top when you guys are doing it, they are a lot more languid in style, like a moment of relaxation between the two of you.

A switch, though preferably a bottom. Yes, that’s right, old man Neuvillette likes to be serviced. He likes it when you’re the one filling him up so good. It’s hot and heavy, just the way he likes it.

He’s a tired man, so he’s definitely a pillow prince— no, a pillow king. He lays there and takes it like a good boy, only gazing at you with those soft eyes, hazy with love and lust while you continued to push into him. He takes your hand in his every time you enter him and he always squeezes your hand tight the deeper you go in.

Call him romantic and a basic man, but he lives for missionary. He wants to see you while he feels you stuff him full of your cock. He only writhes in the beginning while he tries to adjust around you, squeezing you tight inside him while his breath stutters, trying to take you in all at once.

If he’s the one in charge, it’s all the same, he’s gentle with his actions, though, honestly, he’d rather have you ride him instead. He likes to see you in all your glory, with you rolling your hips in such a needy manner while he kept you grounded, holding onto you as he caressed your thighs. It’s perfect for him.

Oh yeah, and this goes without saying — he’s a dragon, so he has two cocks. Fitting him in is a sport on its own, but you graduated with a major in fucking dragons, so you’re good. He’s a bit thicker on the side too, so each time you take him in, you could feel every inch of him, and every throb of his cocks is a heaven sent feeling that courses through your insides.

Please be gentle with him, he is an old tired man who hasn’t had a break. He is so vanilla that it’s boring but his cries are worth it.

He’s a very quiet man too, his moans are shy and light, a gasp here and there and a tiny whimper with every increment of speed adding into your thrusts.

Neuvillette is definitely the type to squirm and get away from you at first, but you just need to keep him still and hold him down by his thighs before you plow into him. He likes it though when you do it, it reassures him that you want to do this with him and that you’re not letting him go no matter what happens.

Another weather report: a good light rain. Not too heavy.

Now that all the sweet stuff is out of the way, rough sex is not as often as the usual vanilla one, but it’s not completely an uninvited guest between you two.

If you fucked him rough and hard, Neuvillette will cry and break. His poor pristine and unmarked body, filled to the brim with your greedy bite marks and hickeys, glowing red and bruising dark purple that leaves him embarrassed when they’re still around if you somehow managed to weasel in a rough session in the morning before he goes to work and you will be reprimanded for it once he’s home, no exceptions.

“No more of these obvious markings,” he’d say with a stern tone, only to end up face down on the pillow with his ass up while you found a loophole and devoured his entire back instead.

He hates that he can’t see you when you go rough on him, because it’s normally him ending up with his face buried into his pillow while he laid on his stomach, his hips being held up by you while you ruthlessly pounded into him without even an ounce of mercy.

He hates it, but at the same time, it does help with keeping his noise down because when you’re doing him so roughly, Neuvillette wails, he cries hard, with those pretty tears of his not letting up. He’d scream to the high heavens and were it not for the fact that your hand was forcing his head down into his soft pillow, the entirety of Fontaine would hear it.

Again, Neuvillette is a tired old man, so something so rough definitely leaves him drained, you’d constantly have to hold him up halfway through your little session.

Fucking him while he’s on his side and his one leg hooked over your shoulder is a great compromise, with how you can both still see each other Neuvillette can immediately turn his head to hide away into his pillow when he realizes he’s being a little too loud on his own good.

He’s definitely the kind to force himself to be quiet. If you fuck him without anything for him to bite into to hide his loud noises, he will cry and be embarrassed through out, barely even managing to cover his own mouth with his hand without an ounce of struggle while his body jerked up and down, following through every harsh punctuated thrust that you made into him. Weather report: Fontaine has a storm.

Neuvillette cries his heart out every time you go rough, full on sobbing and it is such a turn on. The way he makes garbled noises while he would protest into your roughness, hand gently pushing into yours while he asks for you to be gentler and go a little slower, only to cling helplessly into his pillow when his pleas fell into deaf ears.

His tears are just… divine. He cries so prettily and he does it with unwitting grace and class — somehow, he’s just innately beautiful in every thing that he does. There is no such thing as an unsightly sobbing to this man.

Neuvillette makes this soft noise in between a whimper and a gasp every time you hit his prostate spot on and he just shudders in delight, his breath shaky until he can barely think straight.

Gentle or rough, he’s definitely into breeding. Neuvillette has a breeding kink and anyone who thinks otherwise will sink deeper than Khaenri’ah. Stuff him full of your cum and he’s a happy and satisfied man.

It’s not just the feeling of your hot seed pumping him full that pleases him, but being around the Melusines, treating them like his children despite them being just his subordinates has definitely gotten this old man all too paternal. He likes the premise of being able to build a family with you, and he will nurture your children with all his being.

Thigh fucking? Thigh fucking. Though it’s rare, only when he’s really tired but still aches to please you, and even you’re too lazy to move a lot.

Bother him when he takes work at home by making him cockwarm you. He could not concentrate at all — squirming and squeezing around your cock so deliciously while you teased him about getting his work done.

Has definitely tried wall sex with you, with his back against the wall while you held him up. May or may not have happened at the opera after a heated trial when he ruled against your client and you were pissed your streak of wins on that week crumbled into dust. It’s neither your fault but the client’s, but you’re a sore loser and Neuvillette is a stoic judge.

Call him daddy while you fuck into him and he will break, he’ll go slack, his mind numbed when a rush of dopamine just infiltrated his brain every time you’d call him that.

And after all that, aftercare is a must. Treat your dragon well. He did so much for you, and you broke his old man back after fucking him into oblivion. Clean him nice and well, kiss his tears away, and wrap him tightly in a blanket while you hold him.

So. Homecoming. Holy fuck. It’s taken me this long to even start to get my thoughts together. Very spoilery post under the cut. Like, as much as I can possibly remember of the show spoilery. Also rambly. And long. Ridiculously long. So you’ve been warned.

Also disclaimer, this is just homecoming to the best of my recollection and it might not be 100% accurate. So first of all the setlist (this was everything they sang but the order of songs in act 2 is a bit hazy, I think it’s about half right. Also I don’t think hardly anyone at the show could tell you exactly because it was just so overwhelming). They did medleys for all the non-Potter shows in act 1 in reverse chronological order, act 2 they did full songs from all the Potter musicals.

Act 1 TGWDLM, Join Us And Die, Show Stoppin Number We Got Work To Do, Make The Most Of It Ani, With My Own Eyes, Back On Top Gone To Oregon, Naked In A Lake, Speedrun No One Remembers Achmed, A Thousand And One Nights, Happy Ending Holy Musical B@man, Rogues Are We, Superfriends Status Quo, Kick It Up A Notch, I Wanna Be Me And My Dick, Listen To Your Heart, Ready To Go Act 2 Going Back To Hogwarts Harry Freaking Potter To Have A Home Different As Can Be (and reprise) Coolest Girl Cho’s Song Hey Dragon Granger Danger Guys Like Potter Wizard Of The Year To Dance Again Sidekick Voldemort Is Going Down Everything Ends Not Alone Days Of Summer Not Alone (reprise)

Thursday 25th The more I think about it the more I realise I really had no idea what I was expecting from the show. We’d been planning before they even announced what it was to fly out for it, but we had very few details. I didn’t even know they had an orchestra until like two hours before. I’d barely been able to watch any of their rehearsal stories. But I don’t think I’d ever been more excited for anything in my life. I was super excited for AVPW but also, it was my first time seeing any of them, the whole thing felt like a dream, and I had no idea how much it was gonna mean to me so it didn’t even hit me properly until the last night. Whereas I already knew exactly how special this would be, it was entirely once in a lifetime and I was nearly shaking.

Outside the theatre I’ve said it before but genuinely my favourite place in the world to be is surrounded by Starkid fans. Seeing people in cosplay, in merch, talking about the same shows and people I love, I just get such a sense of ‘this is home’. There was the classic waiting-in-line going back to hogwarts singalong. And some la dee da da day thrown in for good measure. Liam was walking along the line filming and doing interviews for the bts. Tessa got out of a car right next to us, we saw Jade and Traci and their friend Bella. They’re all gorgeous it’s insane and unfair.

Inside the theatre Spent over $100 on merch but honestly could have spent so much more, really I showed a lot of self restraint. They didn’t have the programmes though which I’m still heartbroken over. Saw Denise Richter which I was maybe too excited about. Didn’t speak to her or anything but even just to see her she exudes kindness she’s the best. Then we were hanging out in the lobby and Tessa was talking to everyone and hugging them and taking selfies and jumping in people’s group pics and I love her. Like she made my night even without me talking to her because she was SO sweet to everyone she spoke to and I was stood there falling in love with her by the second. Also, let’s talk about how cool the venue was? It looked unbelievable and they had a bunch of posters up with AVPM quotes. And the stage? Y’all have seen by now but they made it look like an actual homecoming dance and it was amazing. Considering how far back our seats were it was actually a very good view, it helped that I had an aisle seat so had a clear view of the entire stage. I’ve posted the pre-show playlist here, it was perfect, especially the JATP like, hell yeah to celebrating all their various projects. At this point I literally thought I was gonna die of excitement. AJ and Clark came on stage and as much as I was having great fun freaking out with the groupchat about how soon the show was I couldn’t wait to put my phone away cause that meant the show was starting. And then the lights went down.

Darren Very pleased to say it was not the Darren show, even though he did give the opening and closing speech. And as much as I have opinions about him, when he walked out for the first time it was a pretty special moment because it’s like, this is it this is really happening. The amount of energy in that room when he came on stage my god. You would not have believed there were only 1600 people there. The whole show people could barely get a sentence out without cheering, which in hindsight was probably annoying but it just shows how incredibly loved they are, and we were as grateful to them as they were to us. I loved the atmosphere in both shows, it was completely different both times and I’ll obviously get to the Friday night show, but there was something special about being in a room of majority backers, all of us seeing these show for the very first time, it was totally new. Again, literally no idea what to expect and it was the most exhilarating feeling. Darren did a little ‘look for your exits pretend we’re at Disney’ which was cute after being at Disney for two days beforehand. Classic starkid fashion, he told us they had no idea how long the show would run for. He made a G.L.E.E. joke so it’s nice to know he’s still on our side at the end of the day. I don’t know if it was him that talked about Starkid performing with a 13 piece orchestra for the first time, but I’m gonna bring it up here anyway. I’m so grateful they were overfunded and that they were able to have the orchestra, because it’s probably something they really wanted and it’s also something they 100% deserve. I’d sell my soul to hear every starkid song with that orchestra, it was magnificent. I really hope we do get an album because it all sounded SO GOOD. Unsurprisingly don’t remember much else of what Darren said because I was just so excited for the show to start.

TGWDLM medley  So as soon as the opening started playing even as Darren was still introducing people went insane, literally within two seconds I knew undoubtedly that this was gonna be the best two hours of my life (also the fastest. Often watching theatre shows I lose attention a little bit but there wasn’t a single second of this show that I wasn’t 100% in the moment they’re completely captivating, and it went by way too fast). Oh wow this is where we got to see Joey and Lauren for the first time. Fuck. I cannot describe to you how good they looked. Pictures do not do it justice. Thank god the mustache was gone. Thank god Lauren didn’t wear the boots. She was wearing my favourite hairstyle. Joey’s hair looked great. Their outfits were incredible. They literally could not have been more perfect looks for me and I’m so grateful. I could have cried happy tears at seeing them. This in itself could go on for five pages so I’ll leave it there. They all did the whole iconic zombie pose entrance. Corey sang Joey’s astronomical line which was kinda a shame cause I love the way he sings that line however I’m glad they did it like that cause Joey got to sing a lot in the show (still not enough for my liking but then again my liking is Joey and Lauren singing the whole show so I’m good). Wish they did Lauren’s ‘pines after a cute lil barista’ bit. Also kinda wish they did inevitable so Jon could sing because I love him and he deserves better @ starkid when are you going to hire me. However they made up for that when Jaime went ‘it is time’ and the room was absolutely electric because everyone knew exactly what was coming. That note had me shook from the moment I heard it on the digital ticket and I feel honoured to have heard it in person. Jeff was still her hype man. Jaime’s voice is honestly out of this world, she’s the person I’d most heard sing live but it was still mind blowing. She’s incredible I love her so much. Then Robert came on stage so like, room exploded again. Joey and Lauren should have been on stage doing their bit for show stopping number but again, what do I know? This song was 100% pandering but as much as it’s overhyped it is a good song and Robert fucking killed it, he actually impresses me so much. His voice? He did the hip wiggles, maybe even more than were in the show, and people went absolutely wild for it. He did the working boys bit and of course everyone lost their minds. And I loved it, I loved that atmosphere of everyone being entirely obsessed with every tiny thing these people do because that’s what connects us all. Jon did get to be a working boy (as did Mariah) and sounded great. They actually sang so much of this song holy shit definitely pandering. But they really were giving Hamilton some competition.

Firebringer medley Lauren Walker introduced this one, do I remember what she said? No, I was too busy wondering if they were going to sing Climate Change. They didn’t. You sang three songs from every other show but two from firebringer and one of them wasn’t climate change? Okay sure. This sounds like I’m complaining I’m not this section was still gorgeous and I loved every second of it. Hearing music from firebringer was amazing because it has some of my favourite music from all the starkid shows, and also because apart from TGWDLM which was so recent it’s the only show we hadn’t heard anything from since. They sang we got work to do which again, pandering and not even to what most people actually wanted if we’re being honest. But I’m happy about it because hearing Lauren sing that first line was a spiritual experience. Her voice? No words. So good. Can’t believe I got to hear it live? Properly?!? Also Joey got to be in this bless his heart and I couldn’t stop watching him doing the choreography. Lauren’s little expressions throughout the whole thing are adorable god I love her. Meredith sounded so good. Rachael got so much of a cheer when she sang her bit. Joey comforted Joe after the shadow bit. Then they sang from the proposal bit of the finale. Brian was pretending to be jealous when Meredith was singing to Lauren which made my life, p.s. Joey step up your game. The first time hearing Lauren sing ‘this is the dawn’ literally took my breath away. And with that orchestra!? (Will I ever shut up about the orchestra? The answer is no). The CHEERS for ‘we are womankind’. Hell yeah. And then Lauren did the arm thing like way to literally flex on us Lo. Not okay. They did the little Molag dialogue bit and Denise did the being-blessed-with-knowledge face. Watching Denise off to the side was honestly one of the highlights of the whole show. 

TTO medley

Now I’m questioning my memory but I think Jaime went offstage after Firebringer when she wasn’t supposed to because I’m sure I remember her not being on stage for this at first. Like everyone else was there and there was a moment where I was like ‘I feel like someone’s missing...’ and then Jaime walked on late. She did mention Julia having to remind her of her cues. Anyway. Gone to oregon was first and I was reminded what an actually good performer Jeff is. He’s great in that show. Corey got the cheers he deserved at his ‘wisconsin’ bit. Lauren singing Naked in a lake was beautiful. Even if not enough people sang with her when she asked for help (spoiler, we stepped up Friday). She was definitely trying to get us to sing the high bits cause her voice was tired and she didn’t want to but that’s fine. This was one of the songs from that show I really wanted them to sing and I’m glad they did, it’s so much fun. Also Lauren does kinda steal the show but watching everyone else in this song is great. Shoutout to the sax guy, I’m glad we as a fandom always appreciate the band/orchestra. I still can’t believe everyone just lets Lauren sing a whole song about skinny dipping but I’m here for it. Then they did speedrun which was. An experience. Still think Joey should have sung wagon on fire but would I have passed out most likely yes so maybe it was better off this way. I’m glad Rachael got a moment. The ‘faster’ bit was fucking insane I don’t know how they had the breath for it. Everyone clapped pace and I’m pretty sure we clapped faster than the song ever goes so, sorry guys that you had to go through that? I think I have a newfound appreciation for this song. It was either in this or possibly in Naked in a lake that Joey did something stupid and Lo looked at him and shook her head. There were a lot of little looks throughout the show and trying to catch each other’s eye across the stage and it was very cute and probably won’t make the cut even though it should it’s the best part of the show.

Ani medley Moses introduced it and he was wearing like the jacket that’s one of his costumes and he wore in the final SK10 livestream idk you guys I’ve seen that show twice. The Ani band is fucking great, they had Mark, Nick Gage (?? idk there was definitely a fourth person I was mostly watching Meredith let’s be real here), Clark and Meredith all sing. Meredith had the biggest smile on her face at all times it was a joy. Ani is such a fun song so many starkid songs are so fun. Also they added a key change (was it even a key change? I’ve never studied music whatever they did it sounded good.) Actually the whole arrangement of this medley I loved, I hope it makes the people who don’t appreciate the music in this show appreciate it. With my own eyes is my favourite song in that show and I’m very happy they did it. They should have had Denise do her choreo when they did Back on top tbh. I love Meredith in this song though.

Twisted medley Joe came out to introduce it but kept hyping everyone up about Ani first. I really miss Joe he has so much onstage energy. I knew they were doing No one remembers achmed but I was still so excited about it. It’s such a good song. And the whole ‘you ooze sex’ bit in the flesh? That’s all. Obviously the best part was everyone yelling tigerfucker. Experiencing that in person is unbeatable. Then they had Britney and Carlos sing their version of 1001 nights and it was beautiful, I very rarely listen to that version of the song but I should, Britney is unbelievable and I love her so much. I can’t believe she’d just flown in and had such a rough time right before the show, you wouldn’t have known it. Dylan walked out and I kinda thought they were gonna have him and Meredith do a quartet (starkid when are you gonna hire me??) but then he sang ‘and with my wife beside me’ and I was like :’) this is good. That part of the song always gets me and Dylan’s voice is a goddamn gift. I love the overlapping parts at the end of Happy ending too so it’s always a good choice. But why they didn’t sing dream a little harder when Alex was right there I do not know. 

HMB medley Pretty sure they had Julia introduce it? Guys it’s been a week gimme a break. Either way she definitely introduced something at some point and I’m glad everyone cheered so much for her because she was the glue of Starkid for a while. Nick Gage sang HMB and they had a reverb (again, is that the right term? not a clue) and he looked so pleased with himself every time we laughed. Then they sang rogues are we (rogues medley would have been better but in fairness that would have ruined the whole thing they had going). I do love Lauren singing we are the harlots and the hussies. A lot. But Denise does it so well. And Jaime’s ‘we’re rising up from the underground’?? I don’t think I have a single thing to say about any of the men in this song and I’m not sorry. Superfriends sounded very cool. It doesn’t matter how many times I see it, I always love the matching tattoos bit, and seeing Meredith’s story afterwards about how she was directing hers at Jade made it even better. I don’t even remember who sang Robin’s lines because I was too busy watching Lauren do the dance, she’s adorable. It was funny watching like five of them doing it cause they were the only ones who had learned it before and the rest not knowing it. Also, I don’t know which makes me happier, when they point into the audience for ‘I wanna be your friend forever’, or when they point at each other. Both are good.

Starship medley Denise introduced the show and um hi I love Denise she’s so cute. She said the thing about her mom calling Starship a show for dreamers and I still think that’s the most adorable thing. I will say for the rest of time that having Alex and Mariah sing Status quo was a weird choice. Also made me pissed that basically no one cheered for Alex but of course everyone went fucking crazy for Mariah. Not even that Mariah didn’t deserve it, but she didn’t deserve it more than Alex. Just saying. It did sound very good with the orchestra and they both have good voices, but I still think we deserved it sounding good with JOEY and the orchestra. I would have died to hear Joey sing that song. Moving on though. Kick it up a notch is always better in rogues medley but I do adore the Jim Brian and Jaime trio anyway. And it’s SUCH a good song. Then they sang I wanna be which I was psyched about I love that song (it was straight from Brant’s verse though like hello what happened to Joey rights). Hearing the older songs makes me wish so much they’d remount them because they all sound so good now it would be amazing. Joey’s voice is legitimately a blessing from the gods. 

MAMD medley Brian introduced the show and walked away from the mic before he said dick, which was funny but also reminded me of how they said this would be the most PG show starkid had done which is laughable. Joey did a whole bit in the beginning that reminded me a lot of his jekyll and hyde performance in shitty broadway. I love that man. Again, we deserve a remount of this show if only for Joey’s voice. Then we have maybe the most iconic moment of the thursday show which is when Joe had way too much excitement for his entrance, fucking sprinted on stage, knocked over the mic stand and had to rescue it, spraining his ankle in the process. And recovered BADLY, he was trying to figure out what to say to pull it back and Joey basically had to tell him to just sing already. I feel a little guilty now because it looked pretty bad, but it was really fucking funny. And then the cheer at the head tilt, why do we all love it so much??!? Then Joey sang Listen to your heart with AJ (him and Brian are a better duo fight me). I loved their little added dialogue, with Joey being like ‘do I smell?’ and AJ being like ‘so bad’. I always always love the little dance break Joey is the sweetest boy. I think I remember something like ‘am I doing it?’ ‘not even close Joey’. Then Alle Faye and Ali came out for ready to go and it went from their bit. It was really nice seeing them back together again. It wasn’t like nearly ten years had gone by at all. God it’s weird how nostalgic I was/am for something I wasn’t even there for. The ‘we’re finally ready’ bit sounded so gorgeous with the orchestra, I had it stuck in my head for days. They slowed it down, and we had everyone on stage, and it was just beautiful. The perfect way to end the act, which was over way too soon, and I was already feeling sad about the show nearly being over even though there was so much good to come. Wait how could I forget to mention the ‘my hormones are freaking out’ bit. Fuck all of them for that. Even if I pretty much just watched Lauren with a quick glance at Joey, which is an accurate description of what I did for a lot of the show.

Intermission First quick thing to say, as much as I wish we’d heard some more full songs from the non-Potter shows, I think I like that they kept it separate. The first half was celebrating everything they achieved since where it all started for them, and the second half was pure nostalgia. And even though I wish it wasn’t the case, more people know the potter shows so it was kinda nice that everyone was even more united than they had been for the first half. Secondly, what I should have done during intermission was used the time to recover, because the show was a whole lot of excitement and emotions and I knew it was only going to get worse in the second half. But instead I yelled to the groupchat and met @starkidmelly. More JATP was played, everyone was buzzing, I couldn’t believe I was there. I think it was a long intermission but it did not feel it, Nick came out on stage and it’s like oh shit here we go again.

Nick’s speech He worried me because he said he wanted to take a minute to get sentimental, and I’d already cried a couple of times it was too early in the show to do it again. But then he just talked about the movie Starkid and how it was a bad movie and made us all laugh which I appreciated. What I really did love was how much people cheered for him when he came out, and also for Matt in the audience when Nick shouted him out. Especially on that first night the happiness on Nick’s face at everyone cheering made me want to cry it was so special and he deserves every bit of it and you could tell it still comes as a surprise even now. Also I’ll tag it on now because I don’t remember exactly at what point it was, but at some point in the second act Corey was telling people to stop filming, which kinda made me mad cause they’d asked people not to film and he looked so mad, but was also kinda funny because like, it’s one thing being stopped from filming by an usher but it’s a whole other thing being stopped by Corey Lubowich himself. I probably would have volunteered to leave the theatre if I disappointed Corey like that tbh. But anyway back to Nick, he introduced GBTH with the original cast of AVPM and everyone fucking lost it.

GBTH So you already know what you’re about to be blessed with and then you hear that opening note and people are impossibly screaming even louder and Darren comes onstage and crouches down and it’s like nothing has really changed at all. I’ve been in a room of people singing this song before and it was magical, but this was even more people and even more special. This is where it all started, and there we were ten years later. And it was so surreal actually hearing them sing this in person. Darren put the glasses on and people went insane. The amount of anticipation I felt for Joey’s entrance was ridiculous, and he got the cheers he deserved (almost. he always deserves more). And no matter how many times we see it or how long it’s been it always makes me feel a lot of feelings seeing Darren and Joey on stage singing this together. Joey messed up the floo powder a bit and it was cute. Still iconic. It was deafening when Bonnie came out, which I guess was to be expected we haven’t seen her in nine years. I will say that she did look genuinely happy to be there, and they looked genuinely happy to have her there. Plus the line ‘why do you have to be such a buzzkill’ was so much more funny with the irony of her pretty much bringing the house down. The nostalgia factor ramped up even more here and it was pretty awesome to have that original trio back on stage after so long. Again, so much but simultaneously so little had changed in ten years and trying to articulate those feelings would require a hundred page essay. I didn’t expect them to change the original but I still think they should have kept Lauren’s altered ‘that would be cool’ line. It’s better. But I digress. Jaime got to do her bit and it was a masterpiece. But rest in peace to the whole Cho Chang and Cedric bit, you were deeply missed. Lauren’s entrance, do I even need to say more? Fucking iconic as ever. One of the best moments in all of history. I’m glad they kept in most of the dialogue-y bits although I do not remember what her accent was like. People delivered on ‘whatever I say’ and I love how that’s become our thing. The train bit always makes me emotional, even more so this time with so many people old and new onstage. I always think of Lauren saying she hates the train move but she should have told her face that. Dylan did his entrance from the back of the theatre aka right by us and it was magnificent, he held the note all the way down to the front. They added in the lines about sorting here so Tyler got to do ‘hufflepuffs are particularly good finders’ which was a good choice they did good on that one, Dylan’s ‘what the hell is a hufflepuff’ was drowned out by people still cheering for Tyler, it was a pretty great moment. I may have cried a bit at ‘it’s all that I love and it’s all that I need’. Just a bit. I loved so much that they got everyone to be a part of this song.

Harry Freaking Potter Have I lost all my memories of this song? Maybe. I remember it being amazing. Predictably I watched Lauren a lot, it’s very hard not to she’s so cute when she’s dancing. It’s funny to me how they hold out the mics for the last ‘harry freaking potter’ but most people are already cheering so they get nothing. They should have learned by now.

To Have A Home Was possibly next? I know I got teary again pretty early on in the act (saved the full crying at this song for Friday though stay tuned). I know I’m very far from being the only person who felt the most at home I’ve ever felt. How can you not, surrounded by so much support and mutual love for these incredible people who’ve done so much for us. Starkid is a huge family and it’s tangible in moments like that. And ‘to know this is real’ hits hard. Especially because you can really feel it from Darren, as famous as he is now being on stage with his friends is truly home.

Different As Can Be There’s just something about this song that brings so much energy and Joe and Brian are an iconic duo. And they brought the Quirrelmort vibes strong. Loved everyone shouting ‘prevails’. I’m super glad they did the reprise too. The reaction when they go back to back is incredible. Also, Joe’s ‘Quirrell’ was impeccable. 

Coolest Girl I will say to Bonnie’s credit that she did a very good job opening this song, considering how many people were there and how much pressure there must have been seeing as she’s suddenly making a reappearance after so many years. And she did get a lot of love for it. But Meredith coming out to duet with her actually made me cry, she looked so happy and they did a cute little ‘hi’ and I really truly consider this Meredith’s song, even if she didn’t originally sing it, so I’m glad she got to do it. It was a special moment having them sing it together with no resentment or jealousy. And then Meredith confirmed that Bonnie was pregnant again at the end of the song.

Cho Chang Of course Darren sang this. Of course. What would a starkid show be without Darren playing his dumb songs on guitar. But nothing beats a room full of people shout-singing ‘that’s in canada’ (side note, why did this stick so much? every time I saw it on the map when I flew to Canada it’s all I could think of). But also, idk why Darren introduced this song by saying he wanted to test if we knew the words like buddy pretty sure we know the words to your songs better than you do but sure.

Hey Dragon More of Darren playing dumb songs on guitar but this is also a pretty fun song so we’re letting it slide. Also he did say that he didn’t want to do this song and said they should cut it to make time for better songs but that everyone else made him do it, which does not surprise me. He obviously had to call out his own songwriting abilities from ten years ago, it makes me laugh every time he does it but this time he really came for himself with how bad the rhyming was and how the lyrics are dumb. I love that he can’t get through the song without laughing because it is pretty stupid but we love it anyway. They trusted us on the ‘la la la’s and I think we came through. 

Granger Danger Okay. OKAY. So after all that Darren was like ‘let’s take it to a school dance’ which did not register for me at all because that song has gone way beyond that and now it’s just Joey and Lauren’s song. But then Darren’s playing it (which I found ??? sweet?? for some reason? idk it was good) and Joey and Lauren are on stage and I’m like here we fucking go. This is what I’m here for. Cannot begin to describe how happy I was to hear this song. I literally had said I refused to die before I heard them sing this live and now it will forever be one of the highlights of my life. The amount of power on that stage. Also the amount of attractiveness. They honestly are a power couple. The most iconic duo singing one of the most iconic songs. Their stage presence just blows me away. And it always makes me feel things too because they’ve done this song so many times and when they were first performing it they had no idea where they’d end up and now they’re fucking living the dream together and I can’t believe how far they’ve come. This is a hole we don’t need to go down though. It absolutely is a crime that they haven’t had more songs together but it does make this one particularly special because it’s fucking THEIR song and there’s no doubt they love performing together and their chemistry is so good anyway anyway I swear I’ll get back on track. This song with the orchestra??!? Holy shit you guys it sounded so good. They managed to take a song I love with every inch of me and make me love it even more. They came out and did a handshake because they’re fucking dorks. My heart genuinely felt like it was about to pump out of my chest, the adrenaline rush from seeing this live was crazy it’s a fucking experience. Joey was remarkably in character when it got to Lauren’s bit but she could not be in character for the life of her when he was singing my god she just did not give a fuck. Her heart eyes were off the charts I swear to god I couldn’t believe that dumb girl. Also Lauren was practically making love to her mic stand half the song which was honestly unnecessary but I love her. And her looking at her crotch murdered me. And then Joey was looking at her for most of the ending and she didn’t look at him once so she sucks. As always the last note was heavenly. When do we get a two hour concert version of this song??

Guys Like Potter Maybe came next? I love the apocalyptour arrangement of this song but it was nice to throw it back to the original and Tyler’s great. Joe tried? We’ll leave it at that.

Wizard Of The Year I think this followed after purely because of AJ saying something like ‘that’s enough about that Potter boy’?? And then he only went and did the whole fucking mouse monologue. And the entire time I was sat there having an internal conflict between ‘this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed’ and ‘they could have used this time to do climate change’. Honestly hearing him pull that out was wild. But then he sang the song and some of the girls came out to do the ‘gilderoy’ bit (which was the best part duh).

To Dance Again The beginning of this song is always iconic. Most important thing to say here is how I’m even more impressed now with Joe’s dancing after seeing what his ankle looked like. Also, hearing all the tapping (thudding) from the audience brings me inexplicable joy. Lauren ran on stage before her cue when Darren came off and had to book it back off and I feel a bit bad immortalising it because I’m sure she’s glad they weren’t filming that night. While we’re on the subject, the Thursday show was a little messy but like, there were no HUGE fuck ups apart from maybe Joe’s in MAMD and it was all surprisingly well rehearsed considering they’d had barely two days of rehearsal and they’re all so so impressive. Still think they should have had a 40 person kickline but the three person Joe Darren and Brosenthal kickline was still pretty good. Also, I remember someone doing a very cool harmony? It maybe sounded like Holden? His voice is underrated. 

Sidekick I cannot remember for the life of me if this is actually where this song goes?? I don’t remember if Joey went offstage or not. I just know that he ended up alone on stage and I damn near lost my mind. I know I’ve said it before but Joey’s performance of sidekick genuinely is a show stealer and I never in a million years thought I’d get to see it live so I feel extremely privileged that I did. God bless whoever included this in the setlist you have my eternal thanks. It’s what Joey deserves (and what I deserve). His voice!?! The high notes?!? Still love the irony of Joey singing this song. Classic cheering at ‘am I the hottest’ because yes you fucking are. He messed up a bit and sang ‘am I the one who takes you home’ twice but we love him. He absolutely killed it and being reminded that they’d not long got back from SDCC and finding out he had a fever made me even more impressed because you literally wouldn’t have known it.

Voldemort Is Going Down More on Joey continuing to kill it (but maybe not in this order). It was good to hear this song again, it slaps. And they all sounded so good too. And there was a super cool little piano riff at one point. This song makes everyone so hype I love it so much.

Everything Ends Haha tear time (jk just about managed to save them for Friday). But it is very much when things get sad because you can feel that the show’s coming to a close. This was Robert’s duet with a person he’d never sung with before and it sounded beautiful. We got the return of Joe’s snape voice or am I imagining that? I don’t remember what he said but I’m sure he said something and it probably made me sad. Literally the whole end of the show is just a blur because I couldn’t believe it was almost over so quickly.

Not Alone Jaime. Just, Jaime. Incredible every time she sings this song. Also, so many AVPW feelings because this is what they came out and sang and this song has been extra special to me since. So I was in tears from the get go tbh. God I’m really really really missing AVPW today so this is a lot just thinking about it. And personal feelings about Bonnie and also how much I love newer arrangements of not alone aside, it was unimaginably special to see the original four singing this together again. 

Days Of Summer We knew they’d save this to the end (or at least so we thought) but it was still a bit of an asshole move ngl. Like, do you enjoy our suffering? Seeing everyone on stage together singing this song that’s at the heart of starkid, if there was anyone who didn’t cry I applaud them. Darren gave a closing speech where he didn’t thank half the people he needed to because he hadn’t rehearsed. I wish I remembered more of what he said because it wasn’t exactly the same as Friday, it also didn’t make me cry half as much which I guess was a bonus. They did the little going back to hogwarts reprise probably partly to make us all feel a bit better and got everyone on their feet for it and as much as I never know which house to say I still love that moment of everyone yelling their house. Then they had “curtain call”, except they faked us out because Brian stayed on stage with his fist in the air and I’m like okay what are these idiots up to now. And Nick came out to tell him they sang all the songs and Voldemort’s dead, which of course meant ‘dead?! *skips stone*’ and we all needed that laugh. And then Joe came out and they did the ‘okay is good’ bit so I was sad again and god they really messed with our emotions. And everyone came back out and did the not alone reprise and literally stomped all over my heart because ten years ago they did the exact same thing, except now they were on a bigger stage with a bigger audience and a bigger family and they’ve all grown so much and achieved so many amazing things in their careers and their personal lives and they’ve grown up a lot but they’re still these college kids at heart who love performing with their friends and making people laugh and I didn’t want to leave my seat after they all walked offstage because it really felt like my soul had left my body and I was just completely emotionally drained. And unbelievably happy that I was getting to experience it all again the next day.

Friday 26th The one thing I have to say about the line this time round is shoutout to the kid handing out red vines, I don’t know how many people actually wanted one but it made me smile. As we were waiting in the lobby we saw Denise x2 (Joey’s mom still looked like the embodiment of kindness and Denise always seems so happy to be there I love them both).

Anyway when we got to our seats I just sat down and was internally screaming because we were So Close to the stage and I was like how on earth am I going to survive seeing this much beauty. Also I knew that some people had different outfits and I was trying to figure out if Lauren and Joey were wearing the same thing cause that was the most important thing so it was an anxious wait. Then when they came out being that close to the crop top nearly killed me and Joey looked even hotter in that red shirt than he did on Thursday so like, I want that image tattooed on my eyelids.

Oh and we saw MK, Sean, Sarah and Whitney up in the balcony before the show started. This is how the conversation went down... Sophie: is that MK up there? Me: I think so, that looks like Sean Sophie: it doesn’t look like Sean? (spoiler alert, it was Sean)

Also to quickly go back to the live atmosphere, Friday night was INSANE oh my god. Whether it was that it was the last show or whether it was being closer to the stage but the room was absolutely electric, it seemed like so many more people - including me this time - were singing and fucking reciting all the lines like it makes me so happy that we’re all fucking nerds who love these other nerds to death and memorise all their shows. As was my plan, the first night I took everything in and then the second night I just got to enjoy it and make the most of it. So the Thursday show it was kind of like I was observing everything but Friday I was LIVING it, and I really was living. It was a fucking party. And I could anticipate what was coming and it somehow made it even more exciting than witnessing everything fresh for the first time. I was literally sat there having the time of my life for two hours and I hope they all saw it, they would have just seen me with a huge fucking grin the whole time (apart from when I was crying we’re not talking about that rn). Maybe the most fun I’ve ever had. It made all the money I’d spent to get there 10000% worth it because as amazing as the DVD is going to be and you bet I’m getting it (well the digital download shipping’s an outrage), you can’t buy the atmosphere in the room and it was incredible to be there.

Okay y’all know the drill now so this is gonna be quickfire:

Act 1

Seeing everyone doing their crazy eyes in TGWDLM up close was an EXPERIENCE. Jon was a stand out. Also Jaime. Being so much closer the energy was so much higher for Join us and die. I think that was really my main thing about Friday, aside from how emotions were even higher, was how crazy the energy was it was SO MUCH FUN. And Robert is pretty great.

Have I mentioned Lauren’s look nearly killing me? Yes? Good. The gay came out full force in Firebringer. Lo’s talent is out of this world and I feel so lucky to have witnessed it live.

So many more people sang for Lauren in Naked in a lake and she looked so happy my baby. I made eye contact with her at one of the points she was holding the out mic for the audience to sing so I’m glad she saw me (quietly but extremely enthusiastically) singing my heart out for her. Joey made Lauren laugh when they were dancing during speedrun and it’s the most adorable shit I’ve ever seen. Those two are genuinely in their own world half the time they’re on stage together and I live for it.

Carlos wasn’t there this night so I think Dylan should have filled in for his verse of 1001 nights but my ideas are worthless right? Oh have I mentioned how much I live for over a thousand people yelling tigerfucker? And Robert smashed ‘he fucked a tiger’. Also I’m sure they did it the first night too but I noticed even more Denise and Meredith encouraging everyone to cheer when Joe was doing the dialogue bit I adore them.

Brant got so out of time on I wanna be my god Joey looked like he was trying to telepathically tell him to slow down but he never really recovered. But the chaotic energy felt appropriate? It’s not a starkid show without a mess up.

Joe’s MAMD entrance was more controlled this time but honestly it’s a shame the fuck up won’t be on the filmed version because it was definitely a highlight (I hope you’re okay Joe). Mere and Brian had their arms round each other when they were singing ready to go and I was hit with the ‘oh my god they’re getting MARRIED’ feels. Look how far they’ve come. They were also making faces at each other during one song, I don’t remember which one, and giving Joey and Lauren a run for their money for being in their own world. Still not nearly as bad though.

Intermission 

I remember even less of this intermission than the first one. I was just in total shock. Also when we came back from the intermission Nick went ‘two people just got engaged’ and almost literally stopped my heart like I KNOW that’s not how it’s gonna happen but where did he expect me to go with it. And then he wanted to be reminded of their names but someone shouted ‘Joe and Traci’ so he had to be like ‘no I’m not talking about them’ which made me laugh a lot.

Act 2

GBTH was somehow even better this time round. It’s actually a spiritual experience. 100% my happy place. Also Joey didn’t have the headband the first night and I didn’t know I needed it until he came out wearing one on Friday, it was weirdly emotional.

To have a home was worse this time around because I had to come to the realisation that I was gonna leave this home behind. That’s always the worst part, it was the same with AVPW, it’s not just that I miss it it’s also that it’s this happy, safe little bubble where everything feels okay and it’s so sad to lose that. So yeah, cried a lot this time. Also Darren went offstage on Thursday too in the instrumental but this time he went offstage and ran round to the other side to come back on which was so much better good job Darren.

When Lo and Joey shook hands for granger danger they both had such cute smiles my HEART. Lauren still had heart eyes for Joey singing, she was just stood there grinning at him the whole time she loves him so much jesus christ. Also she was staring at him when they were both singing the ‘falling in love’ bit just saying. And they got super close to each other for the end but kept alternating looking at the other person and the audience so they were never actually looking at each other and it KILLED me I hate them. I also didn’t even think twice about singing Lauren’s part during granger danger until halfway through oops and now I kind of want to apologise, Mr Joey Richter I love you.

You could tell there were a fair few people in the audience who’d seen one or both of the other shows and knew what was coming so actually shouted out ‘what’s your fantasy’ when AJ was working up to the mouse monologue which made it even better. It was just as insane and funny the second time, but I still couldn’t believe they actually put it in there.

Back to Mr Joey Richter, he brought the house down with sidekick even more than on Thursday. He’s so talented y’all. You’d expect more cheering for ‘am I the one who takes you home’ but the urge for everyone to yell ‘definitely not’ is too much and it cracks me up. And he pointed at the very least in my direction when he sang the last ‘I love being at your side’ so I’ll take it for SURE.

They got everyone standing even earlier on in the show (during voldemort is going down) and I just felt a sense of elation, the whole show but at this point in particular, because everyone was there having a fucking amazing time and pouring out so much love, from our direction and from theirs, and I feel like that song really does do what it’s supposed to and make us feel united.

Everything ends made me cry a lot because it actually was the end this time, and starkid have some fucking heart wrenching goodbye songs that are supposed to make you feel better but really don’t at all. Not alone made me cry more, obviously. Days of summer was so much worse because it really was goodbye, me having to say goodbye to seeing them and one of the best experiences of my life, them having to say goodbye to each other. SO. MANY. TEARS.

Random point, Lauren looked so fucking cute when she came out in her varsity jacket with the sleeves pushed up because it was too big for her I just wanted to hug her.

Joey and Lauren kept looking at each other during Darren’s speech, Joey in particular kept trying to catch Lo’s eye which killed me he’s too soft. And Lauren pulled a face at the mention of a twenty year reunion like she felt way too old for that and he was smiling at her I hate them. 

There were a lot of tears, Joey and Tiffany especially and Lauren pulled her trying not to cry face. In the speech Darren said something about starkid bringing about this group of friends and Joey’s wide eyed already-crying-but-trying-not-to-cry-even-more-face was both heartbreaking and funny and I hope it makes it onto the DVD. I don’t remember much else of the speech other than that it was incredibly emotional and it very well summed up a lot of what we were all feeling about the show and how special starkid was. Also I made eye contact with Joey when we were both crying and we smiled at each other (tried to) and honestly that was a bonding moment for us.

And we saw Bob and Denise on our way out which caused a whole lot more feelings because those are their kids up there performing with all their other honorary kids and yep we’re done here.

I don’t really know how to bring this all to a neat end. I don’t really think there is one. It’s an experience that can’t fully be put into words, the emotions it brought up aren’t ones that I can properly label, and it’s going to stick with me forever. But it was a reminder of how special starkid is. Watching their shows at home, scrolling through their social media, of course it brings me so much joy it’s my reason for living. But getting to see them live and feel the impact they’ve had on so many people? Getting to do it with a friend I made because of them? I just wish I had the words or the time to give them the thanks I wish I could. I really hope they felt the sheer, deep love we all feel for them over those two days.

Anyway, I know this was way too long and half of it wasn’t information people care about but I’m done now. And I’m so excited for the DVD and (hopefully) album so I can experience it all again!

Here goes nothing//update.

I wrote this on my private tumblr, but thought I’d share it. Incase anyone was wondering.. Promise this is no cry for sympathy and the last I’ll post about the situation. The last few months have been very tough on me. I’m still trying to figure out exactly where I went wrong. How could I let this happen to me? I recently got out of a relationship. I honesty adored the guy. He was crazy funny and him and I never had a dull moment when we were next to each other. Things started going more public, I clearly am a sucker for posting on social media. I heard some chatter about the man I was seeing. I brushed it off as probably just an ex saying things to bash him. He even played the part very well, that his ex trashed his name for no reason at all. Hanging out with him, I soon realized he drank a little too much and a little too often. At first we just had so much fun being drunk in love. Honestly I wouldn’t change those moments for the world. We had a blast. Things started going south when his ex started sending messages his way to remind him that she was still alive and well. I fought through that day in and day out. -Finally we got through the ex. We broke up soon after we vacationed and got a dog together. We still hung out everyday we both were free. Nothing changed at first. Finally about a month later he stared being mean towards me. I just brushed it off as he was drunk. We broke up again even though we were not “officially” dating. We stopped seeing each other for about two weeks. He caught wind that I was talking to someone new. He came back hard with the I miss you and love you. We started to hang out again. Things were “ok” most days. He often was in bad moods because he was sober or coming off a few day binge. He had no one to take his bad moods out on except me. I thought it was so normal and okay for him to be so rude and take advantage of my time and kindness. While sober and not in each other’s presence things would be not good. While sober together things would be great. The first 6-8 beers things were fun and lovey. Then he would hit a wall and be way too drunk suddenly. The fun easy going guy I knew was no longer with me. He would say really mean things. A couple times he slapped me across the face. He was very drunk and I mean very drunk, so I brushed it off completely. I did not bring it up to him because I didn’t want to upset him and make him leave me or be rude to me. Weeks pass of the some good and some bad days. I start to realize he is getting meaner. So I not in my finest moment decide he must be talking to his ex again, who won’t see him but message him like there is a chance. I sleep at his house a few nights a week at this point still. So he left for work and I go through his Apple Watch which has his text messaging on it. I read a few conversations and am sick. He tells me he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me. I see he is talking to his ex in a manner he shouldn’t be. A few more days pass of him being rude. I finally have enough one night. I tell him, I don’t think we should see each other anymore. He gets very upset. We talk for for a while about everything, it’s very late now so we go to bed. He texts me the next day asking to see my son and if I really broke up with him. I invite him for dinner, because clearly I’m weak for him. That night he decided to adopt a cat from my mother. I bring him the cat and he tells me “I guess you have to take my keys back to check on the cat, ok?” I just smiled and said ok. A couple weeks go by and he is being so kind and sweet to me. I fell again for this cruel trick. All of the sudden his rudeness came back. I asked if he was speaking to his ex and he said “no, I’m done being her security blanket” So I again went through his watch to be sure. He really hadn’t been talking to her. I was like wow, maybe this is it. While putting his watch down 10 minutes after he kissed me goodbye and told me he loved me he gets a message from a name I don’t recognize. I open it and it is a lady who looks to be in her late 40s who works in the same area as him. So I shrug it off. Then the watch kept going off between the two and I read a few. Turns out they had matched on bumble. The conversation was inappropriate. I was in disbelief because she was much older than him, but I was seeing the messages right before my eyes. A couple days pass. We are out to dinner and he says I seem off. I was shrugging and saying no babe, totally fine. I wasn’t. All I was thinking about was me not being good enough. Ever. Why was he wasting my time? Finally that night we get to talking (after plenty of beer) he can’t believe I’d assume he was taking to someone else. We played a video game for almost two hours having fun after that. It’s now like 3am. We go to the living room. The sick feeling is back. I look at him and said “****, if you’re talking to someone else I don’t want to do this any longer” Then. He slapped me very hard across the face. His face looked like he had seen a ghost. I shouted “what the fuck, ****” He knew what he did. He quickly said well you ask me to hit you while we are having sex. I said yeah while having sex sometimes not a conversation.... He changed the subject quickly. I just sat there and let him. We went to bed. A day goes by. Neither of us bring it up. I feel the lowest I ever had. He again is on a sober stretch because of work. So he’s taking his bad mood out on me. He says maybe we should not see each other anymore. I had a long text written and it took me an hour to hit send. I called him out for slapping me. Told him good luck and to no longer message me. All that was said back to me: Thanks. Will do. I was heartbroken and felt worthless. A day passed. I now am angry so I made a tweet. I couldn’t help myself. Come to find out someone alerts him of my tweets, which I made public for a reason. This person makes some sub tweet about it. So he messaged me. Definitely denying it. I couldn’t believe he was telling me I only was saying that because he broke up with me. After a couple days of not speaking I even in my head was like well did it happen?? He literally made me feel crazy. A classic case of gaslighting. It’s only been about a week since I’ve come to terms with him slapping me hard across the face. I still feel worthless. I still feel ashamed of myself. I let a man be so mean to me while I was nothing short of generous to him always. The worst part is I feel bad for putting it out there that he laid his hand on me. I feel for him. When I think of him I get sick. He took advantage of me so hard and hit me and I still am worried for his well-being when clearly he could careless about mine. I am in a spot right now of how could someone hate themselves so much to let this happen to them for months? I really can’t get out of my head. I hate that I’m still letting this control my life. So please forgive me being distant and maybe canceling on plans right now. I’m honestly trying my hardest to forgive myself for letting this happen.

Update 9/26/2019 Backlash. I am not sure why I expected anything less than being called a liar who just got their feelings hurt. Displacing blame. I literally have nothing much more to say. About my side. Here is just a follow up. After talking to a few police officers and finally going to the police station to file a report, I have opened my eyes even more. While speaking about the times my ex slapped me, I said “well, it wasn’t that hard the first two times” “he was very drunk” “I really don’t think he meant to”. The police officer said stop right there. Do you hear yourself? “He didn’t hit me that hard” “he was drunk”. You can stop making excuses for him now. I said it out loud again. “I don’t think he meant it or was aware because of how drunk he was” Then the officer said “even if he didn’t mean it, he did it”. Why did I wait? I was so scared. I am still scared. Not of him hurting me, because I will never see him again. I’m scared because being a female still in 2019, you get belittled, told you’re acting crazy, some believe the man over the woman and that is so scary and makes me feel absolutely worthless. Being a female is supposed to be empowering. I feel worthless most days when I think about myself and letting this happen to ME. Why didn’t I hit him back? I like to think I’m a tough girl, but that’s just it, I am a female. Not a highly intoxicated ex-marine. Could you imagine what may have happened if I tried to hit him back? Why did I not seem scared of him/ keep hanging out? As stated above I kept telling myself “it wasn’t that hard” “he didn’t mean it” “Stop being such a baby” I just wanted to be sure he was okay. I stated many times to him I was worried with him being alone drinking so much. I have helped him plenty times from being passed out facedown on the ground. I was worried for him because no one else was helping him. I would repeat to myself you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. I just couldn’t give up on him. Which was ultimately my biggest mistake. I honestly believe that he has no idea he slapped me the first two times. He was THAT drunk we were not arguing whatsoever and he carried on with conversation immediately after. The last time he hit me, he hit me very hard as I said and his face knew. He knew this last time exactly what he did. As for the “out of context” texts from his ex I came across I didn’t bring those to the public like he did. I was just reminding him that he in fact had done some pretty monster invading things while being drunk and she confronted him about them. I not only read them via text, but he also told me one night and I asked him not to tell me anymore. As for the one person who reached out and said “I just got my feelings hurt” Sure, they were hurt because my ex emotionally abused me and lied a lot. For me to make this up is asinine. Unfortunately I knew that he was still texting his wife at the time, now ex wife in ways he shouldn’t. I knew the entire time from when it started happening. I would look at their texts all the time. So it wasn’t me in a jealous rage making this up. I have lost much more than a boy I dated for 9 months and I have never had any bad blood. I have never had anything like this happen to me. I have never been slapped across the face by a man. I have never felt this worthless. I am trying to get through this. I feel much better with the police being involved. I honestly hope he is staying strong with sobriety, before I was made to block him by the police, he sent a message saying he hasn’t been drinking since the last time him and I hung out on September 3, 2019. (Weird he thought he needed to stop after that night and I didn’t finally confront him for hitting me days later) I of course was sent pictures of his current posts with beer in his hand. I just hope he can stop displacing blame and hold himself accountable for his drinking problem. I wish him well in that endeavor. I was just telling my story and wanted to warn people about this mans other side. As many people in Saginaw tried to do to me when I first started seeing him. I figure with the entire story people would stay clear. I am really trying to stand my ground as a strong female. I am really trying to make sure that the middle aged alcoholic white male that doesn’t know limits, does this to no other female.

[Weverse Magazine] DK: “I just want to believe in myself”

Though he looked serious while posing on set, DK smiled radiantly at every opportunity, nodding along and listening to HOSHI’s impassioned rap, and sang according to the mood. Such moments reflected the many times he said during the interview: “I want to be strong for other people.”

You posted a picture of your pet rock Dodol on Weverse recently. (laughs)

DK: It seems like everybody loved it. I wonder if they were worried about me. (laughs) I looked at JEONGHAN like he was a little weird at first too, and wondered why he did it. (laughs) It was cute when I saw it in person. That’s how I ended up living with a rock. I bought it a bed that hasn’t come yet so I got this dog figure I like and set it next to the rock.

You also posted a picture on Weverse of you cooking. I guess you like to cook!

DK: I don’t have a lot of time to cook these days because of how full my schedule is, but I do it as a hobby and to eat. I tried cooking for the first time when I was around fourth grade: I thought doenjang jjigae only has doenjang in it, so I boiled some water and paste and ended up with a watery soup. (laughs) Regardless, I started to find cooking fun after that, and got really interested in it after our debut.

I heard on your birthday V LIVE that VERNON liked the kimchi jjigae you made for him.

DK: He really enjoyed it, plus it’s always better when you can eat together. That’s why I cooked for him.

It feels like you’re meticulous when it comes to looking after the other members.

DK: “Meticulous.” (laughs) You’re embarrassing me... It’s not something I plan to do; just like when the other members upload videos and I tell people to take a look—I do it without thinking. I do it because I like them.

Was it your love for CARAT that made you post on Weverse about SEVENTEEN’s sixth anniversary? You posted right at midnight.

DK: I wasn’t doing it because I wanted to be first; I just wanted to share in the congratulations as soon as it turned midnight. It’s not like I have to be the very first on birthdays either—I just like doing it right at midnight. So I wrote it in advance and posted it right on the dot.

You had an online concert in January, IN-COMPLETE. And you said you still think about when CARAT sang along to “Us, Again,” right?

DK: I guess I’m a little slow. I wasn’t expecting it. I wasn’t expecting it under the circumstances and it felt like they were right in front of me. I was overflowing with emotion, realizing yet again how important CARAT are to us. Even though we couldn’t be together in person, since it was a live performance, it was still meaningful to spend the time together, so I kept that idea of being together in mind while we performed.

At least with this new album you end up getting to be with CARAT indirectly. How did it go, shooting the concept photos that were released?

DK: They came out really good. There’s one version, though, that gives a kind of cold vibe, where I had to get wet for the shoot. That was really tough. (laughs) They were next to me, spraying me with the rain machine, and, wow… I was dripping wet. It was so funny. I was also worried if it would end up looking good, of course. All the other versions were warm and cold at the same time, but the photos we released focus more on the warm parts, I think.

The album feels like that, too—a mix of hot and cold feelings. Thematically it describes the moment of falling in love.

DK: If you think about it, it’s not like we haven’t talked about love before, but we’ve never shown this many different sides to love in so much detail like we did on Your Choice. It feels like this is the first time SEVENTEEN has ever done something like the music and choreography we did for the lead single, “Ready to love.” A song like “HOME;RUN” is full of energy, but this time our song is restrained and mature. Us members spent a lot of time discussing with the choreographer to make sure the choreography really suited the song.

What about the singing?

DK: “Ready to love” was a bit difficult as far as the tone and beat go. We’ve done many songs with all kinds of different rhythms before, but we had to think carefully about how best to record this song, and edit it a lot, too. Shua sang in the intro first and then me, but there was a feeling that it would be good if we showed a little contrast there, so I kept that in mind while singing. As soon as I heard “Heaven’s Cloud,” I felt it was soft and warm. When I heard it, I imagined what way I should sing it, then used that as a starting point. “Anyone” is intense in a way but really poppy at the same time, and I wanted to bring that out.

The closing track—the vocal team’s song, “Same dream, same mind, same night”—starts off with an impressive ad lib that you did.

DK: The vocal team all got together in a group chat and started trading ideas about what we could do that hadn’t tried before. We kept thinking about what we could do that would be original and not overlap with our old songs, and finally we decided to try something that sounds like a classic R&B song. The lead single was hard to record, but “Same dream” was probably the hardest. It was hard to get that old R&B vibe. It was the first time any of us sang that kind of song so we were careful to make sure the vocals and the tone matched each other. There was a melody for the ad-lib part with SEUNGKWAN, too, but we kept modifying it as we recorded more and more takes. Anyway, I’m so proud to have made this great song with the help of the members giving out so many ideas.

What is your goal these days, as a vocalist?

DK: I can never really satisfy myself. So instead of saying, I’ll keep going until I’m satisfied, I just want to believe in myself. In the past, I just said I want to be a good vocalist and didn’t give it any other thought, but I think it’s more worthwhile to give strength to others, so I want to be a good singer with that intention to help.

Is there something that caused you to change your mind like that?

DK: To be honest, I’ve heard from a lot of people since our debut that I’m good. And I worked hard. But I’m never really satisfied, so I didn’t see it that way. So sometimes I was in a slump or lost my confidence or even wondered if I should sing at all. But as time went on I got over it, and I realized, it’s not like you have to be good no matter what, and that being good at it doesn’t make me happy. I try to find importance in giving people strength through one small part than go overboard trying to hit some high notes.

You played the role of Arthur in the musical Excalibur two years ago. Did that experience change you in any way?

DK: I became engrossed in the character in the second half of the musical’s run. Not that I told the SEVENTEEN members to kneel before me or anything. (laughs) When I did photos and music videos for SEVENTEEN after that, I had more variety in my facial expressions and a new side of me came out.

I remember you said in an interview with Cosmopolitan      magazine that you had some difficulty acting angry or yelling but realized you could while working on the musical.    

DK: I get angry sometimes, of course (laughs) but I’m not the type to yell. But I struggled at first because there were a lot of angry lines where I had to yell. But I was able to immerse myself in everything because I was surrounded by great actors, and the ensemble cast helped me a lot. I wouldn’t have been able to do it on my own. It was only possible thanks to being on stage and being with all those people.

What made you try a role that’s different from your real personality?

DK: I always wanted to try taking on a musical, but at first when we were practicing I felt bad. So I nearly worked myself to death trying to do my best. I feel super comfortable working as part of a team, but I’m not good when I try doing something alone, so I wanted to break out of that. I wanted to get over that feeling because I felt like it was limiting me.

I felt your desire to overcome things in the “High Sky and Plump Horses” episode of GOING SEVENTEEN when you went bungee jumping. Where do you find the courage to challenge yourself like that?

DK: I have no idea where it came from. (laughs) That was really, really challenging. It looks short in the edited version, but the other members waited around for 30 minutes. They could’ve asked me, “Why aren’t you jumping?” But instead they kept saying, “You can do it!” All right, they’re all waiting—just jump for their sake. (laughs) I just kept thinking, I just have to jump the one time—why can’t I do it? I’m a chicken and I was really scared, but I was able to jump because the others cheered me on. I think I can take on anything I want to as long as they’re next to me. They’re really great people.

Not surprisingly, you’re a good influence on the other members. You even have the nickname Seokhadachak [“Seokmin’s next to God when it comes to kindness”].

DK: That was a burden, honestly. (laughs) I mean, I was worried I would be trapped in that image. I’m not consciously being nice; I just really have a mindset of “fair is fair.” I’m quite sure that’s why the other members and the fans said that. Because I do what I feel like doing—it’s not a conscious effort. I just try to be thankful and not get too stuck. I get angry too, you know. (laughs)

So that’s why you, SEUNGKWAN and JEONGHAN had that incident on your trip to Jeju Island? (laughs)

DK: When things get better     , we should fight somewhere overseas this time. (laughs) There’s a compilation video that fans made. Feels like I look like this petty person now. It was a little childish but there’s no bad blood between us. (laughs)

Sure, you can talk about things when you’re on good terms. In fact, it’s really cool how you always listen to all the others talking together on GOING SEVENTEEN and respond to what they have to say.

DK: Sometimes I’m not really paying attention and I just say, “Yeah.” (laughs) But I try to hear everything they say and respond. I saw Yoo Jae-suk on a variety show, actually, and I thought it was cool how receptive he was. I’m a big fan.

Do you think that’s where you get your knack for entertainment from?

DK: I don’t know if I ever mentioned this but, when I was in elementary school, my dream was to be a comedian. When I was in second or third grade I watched a variety show starring Yoo Jae-suk. He was so cool. How’s he so good at hosting—not aggressive at all, just gentle and making people laugh in that put-together way? I fell in love with the idea of making people laugh, so I tried really hard to make my friends laugh in elementary school. I was the kind of kid who practiced funny faces in the mirror before going to school. I watched a lot of different variety shows when I was growing up, which was a kind of non-research research for me.

I was surprised, though, to hear that you’re introverted.

DK: Everyone is this way, obviously, but I’m both an extrovert and an introvert. I wasn’t before but I think I actually became a bit shy after the debut. I get a bit uncomfortable when I’m around too many new people at once. But I love when I’m with people who are also comfortable being around me. We just eat or play games. When I’m by myself, I lie down and watch TV, read comics, and eat something good. It’s therapeutic for me.

What shows are you watching these days?

DK: I’m enjoying the drama Mine. It’s on today. I have to watch it. (laughs)

You shouldn’t rely too much on MBTI, but I do remember that you’re both an INFP and an ISFP.

DK: I don’t usually do it these days, but I actually did the same test like 10 times. When I first did it on GOING SEVENTEEN, it said INFP. Coups, HOSHI and JUN all got the same thing, but I feel like I’m completely different from them. (laughs) So I thought it had to be wrong and tried again, but it just said INFP nine or 10 times. Then I got ISFP once. It doesn’t define your whole personality, but I find it interesting anyway. But they say that’s a characteristic of INFPs. (laughs)

You remember all the other members’ MBTIs, too. I can always tell how much affection you have for them.

DK: I’ll sound like I’m making this up if I say it in an interview or on air (laughs) but—and sorry to my family, but the other members are more like family to me than my family. I don’t know if it’s because we normally argue so much, but I think it’s a chance for us to get close to one another and get to know each other better.

I think you have just as much affection for CARAT. You did a lot of V LIVEs last winter.

DK: I wanted to hang out with CARAT, first of all. “DK, please do lots of V LIVEs! … This makes me feel better … Oh man, thanks for coming on this late.” When I hear them say things like that, I feel so grateful and warm inside. I was trying to do it more often.

Where do you find the energy?

DK: It’s love, of course. You could call it an outlook of being considerate, being loving, and trying to have a warm heart.

If the members are like your family, what are CARAT?

DK: Seriously, CARAT are my legit legit besties. (laughs) There’s a saying that it’s hard to find even one true friend in life. They’re honestly precious to me. They give me strength in my life and are a huge help.

So, what made you choose the characters (Pokemon?) you did specifically, as well as the ships included? Are they any particular reasons you ship certain characters together and some going single?

Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever been asked this before. I like this question!

This will probably be a long post too, so brace yourself!

+ Sneakpast was chosen as the lead couple because I was originally planning on writing just a one-shot between Greninja and Chesnaught. The last two chapters of BAF were originally meant to be one thing (starting from Greninja and Chesnaught being alone together in Chapter 9), and it was mostly just a couple that I liked from art I found online, so I wanted to try them out for myself. Then I wanted to add details, and asked questions like, “How did they get here? What makes them act this way?”That expanded their roles, what I wanted them to do, and why I fleshed them out more. The idea of a shy ninja and a friendly yet cautious knight seemed cute to me, and these two fit a nice combination. Plus, I was working on my Mario fanfic, ENY, and after having written scenes in Bowser’s Castle, I wanted to spend more time within castles, and medieval stuff in general. So, I just kept up until the story came out as it did. It’s a little harder to tell at the moment, but Sneakpast will remain the lead characters for the series, which I decided to tell in 4 stories. Something about working with this couple clicks nicely.

+ Having two thirds of the Kalos trio without the third would have been foolish, so I immediately knew that one of the first supporting characters would be Delphox. However, I know that a lot of its popularity as a species is…well, based solely on appearance, and even that is out-classed by its prior evolution. (Which was furthered by Pokken Tournament, yay!) Specifically with Delphox, I was kind of bored by the whole “designated female starter” role that it was forced into. So, I determined immediately that Delphox would be a male, and decided to make him annoyed with constantly being seen as a female based only on his appearance. Because I knew I was including him initially to complete my Kalos trio, I decided to leave him single, and basically poke fun at the idea that I made him a third wheel. And I did this twice over, since he can be a third wheel with Gardevoir and Gallade as well, though Gallade would contest that. However, as I was writing out his increased role in the plans for MGR, I wanted to explore some of his feelings regarding being left on his own. He’s too proud to really explore it with anyone, but he’s honestly burdened by being that third wheel. It made a great parallel to how there’s always a Pokemon left behind in the core series, or one that gets less attention than the other two. Coupled with these feelings and others mistaking his gender, Delphox’s bitter personality was easy to develop. There’s more to come going forward with him in particular, so I’m excited to explore him more alongside Sneakpast.

+ My initial thought for writing a medieval fantasy that I fleshed out was to include a king and queen. I didn’t even have to think when my mind immediately gravitated to Nidoking and Nidoqueen, and they were going to be the first characters included in the story behind the Kalos trio. It was a classic, staple pairing that enough people enjoyed. However, I stopped myself before I ever really wrote out their roles. Nidoking/Nidoqueen (RegalShipping) was a common pairing, and a very known one at that. It would be too easy to just slap them in, and I wanted to challenge myself with how I looked at older Pokemon in particular. These two are constantly seen as a couple, but I wanted to know what would happen if something got in the way of that idea. And I liked searching for alternative options, so I did just that for both of them. Between the two, I decided on Nidoking to be the more important, because I did want that senior character that Greninja and Chesnaught could relate to, and if they were a gay couple, I knew that it would be easier for them to go to a male that would be in a relationship with another male himself. So, Nidoking’s prominence won out, and by the time I worked out how that role would be, I realized that Nidoqueen wouldn’t be very important as a character in the beginning. And then it hit me: what if Nidoking and Nidoqueen weren’t separated by choice? That idea had me come up with what will become something harrowing as the series continues: Nidoqueen’s premature death.

+ Rhydon was a Pokemon that I was absolutely set on including as I read up on Pokemon’s history. The first Pokemon created, and it was typically left regulated on the sidelines or left fairly forgotten by the creators and the fandom overall? Not going to fly with me. I knew early on that I wanted his role to be prominent, another that would definitely interact with Sneakpast, and decided to have him as one of the notable roles. Hence why I decided on him becoming a general to the army that both Chesnaught and Greninja worked with. Working on his role along with Nidoking’s made me want them to have a close relationship from the start. As soon as I decided that Nidoking would be without Nidoqueen, it was a really easy transition to Rhydon becoming his new love interest. It fit symbiotically with Nidoking’s role, and having two seniors for the main couple to look to for guidance was especially helpful, as it provided flexibility in what advice they would receive. Rhydon in particular has been fun to develop, because as I continued with writing out the story behind him, Nidoking, and Nidoqueen, I liked having him as the odd one out behind all the stories, loosely reflecting on his should-be prominence for the Pokemon series. Since he was Nidoking’s friend since childhood, I knew that he would be in the castle, and I ultimately made him a butler’s son, which is why he can be so worried about things being perfect with Nidoking, as well as trying to be diligent in his role as a general. After that, I wrote out how his relationship with Nidoking would flow, in that Nidoking would have had a lot of lovers before settling on Nidoqueen, and never having noticed Rhydon’s quiet pining for him as years went by. This is only glossed over at the current part of the stories that I’ve written so far, but there is a lot of underlying tension between DrillShipping to come.

And that’s already 5 (technically 6) characters that I’ve included before the cut, which makes this a super long post. So, time to add in that “read more” label just below this, hooray!

Ok, if you’re eager to know some more about the rest, here goes! And be wary of possible spoilers; I tried to avoid telling them, but no promises!

+ Gardevoir was included as a foil for Delphox. Unlike Delphox, I consider the species to be forever regulated as female, because of a male given evolution in Gallade. So, I liked the idea of her being the one to contrast Delphox in several ways: comfortable with her feminine appearance, enjoys the attention that potential suitors give her, having a particular relationship that gives her a stability that Delphox doesn’t know, and the cheerful disposition to offset Delphox’s bitterness. She would be everything he couldn’t be: secure with herself. And originally, the magic shenanigans the two get into were originally going to be directed at them fighting with one another. However, I didn’t like that Delphox’s foil was going to be such an easily reviled role. And I thought, “What if they were friends?” And then I furthered that idea, in which they wouldn’t hate each other, and that Delphox would be even further in Gardevoir’s shadow because he couldn’t really dislike her. So, instead of being rivals, I made them childhood friends. And instead of being the one thing that she likes to go against, I made Gardevoir’s bigger weakness become Delphox. Any time they weren’t together, she’d feel something missing, and her seemingly perfect life would be incomplete without someone that grounds her more than she’d ever admit.

+ Gallade was part of the packaged deal for Gardevoir always, since I did want at least one pair that would be considered “classic” or “typical” by the audience. Given Gardevoir’s original role, his was easily set as being her perfect boyfriend, and a consistent support role that Delphox would grow to envy never having. Being a higher ranking noble added to perks that Gardevoir would receive, and increased the gap between them and Delphox. Initially, when I switched the role for Gardevoir from rival to friend, I didn’t do much to change Gallade. However, as I continued to work it out, and as I’m writing now, I’ve realized that a fun idea would be a sort of shift between the third wheel balance that rests between this trio. Gardevoir and Delphox’s longtime friendship was something that Gallade never really got to know about them, and matters that concern the two mages typically don’t involve him. Coupled with him not immediately being from the main castle of the kingdom, I liked the idea of him awkwardly trying to fit in with Gardevoir and her friends, which will be more evident as the story continues.

+ Bisharp was one of the first Pokemon I gravitated to when I was selecting knights for the first kingdom. He was an easy fit for the appearance, so that part of his selection was easy. His original role was to be Chesnaught’s loyal friend, basically his go-to ally under all kinds of situations. Readers have seen shades of this in BAF, but it’s effectively gone by MGR. Originally, I was going to have Bisharp be constantly in Chesnaught’s corner. However, when I had finished BAF, I realized that having Bisharp as Chesnaught’s friend wouldn’t really be effective with his falling out of the other knights. After all, he was relatively supportive in BAF, and having him continue that in the second story wouldn’t have made Chesnaught feel like something was lacking; sure, his support with the other knights would have withered, but his main friend would still be there. That didn’t sit right with how I wanted Chesnaught’s position to develop, as I wanted there to be a falling out for him with essentially all of the other knights.So, not even Bisharp would stand by him after he publicly revealed his interest in Greninja. It’s partially reflective of how a gay person in real life doesn’t always keep the friends they have, as some are just too ignorant to understand. Furthermore, I liked having two characters that were friends suddenly not be anymore, because that’s kind of a rift that happens universally with people in life. His contrast with Lilligant, who ends up being that loyal friend to Chesnaught, is something that’s bubbling in MGR. And his role will be increased in the third story, so expect to see more of him.

+ Lilligant was part of the original story, as the female love interest that Greninja assumed Chesnaught was interested in. Her role was originally going to be as simple as that, being another friend of Chesnaught’s that was supportive of him and understanding of his romantic interests. Contrasting Bisharp from the beginning, she was the calmer friend, the one that would really listen to Chesnaught when he needed. It was a role that she could provide that Bisharp couldn’t, as a civilian character wouldn’t need to concentrate as deeply on training or combat, and therefore could take more time to spend with her friend. Greninja would see her as a rival for Chesnaught’s affections, to which she was never interested in to begin with. This role was carried through my development, which is how she appeared in BAF. Continuing the story, I wanted Lilligant to be utilized more, and I thought I was going to be satisfied by making her a counter to Bisharp. Whereas he would waver in his friendship, Lilligant would become more supportive to Chesnaught. As I was writing up plans for MGR, I realized that her role as a civilian would be interesting to have, but made little sense if I continued to have her in the story. After all, what place would a town girl have when an army goes marching? It has been done before, and having her tag along could be played logically, with enough thought. But I didn’t like her just being a cheerleader on the sidelines, and wanted her to have an active role, even if she’s out of place in fighting. So, as I worked out the continuing story, Lilligant would become a member of the army, though rather unofficially for now. Her romantic interests are something that I’ve hinted at through her appearance in MGR, but will finally get attention in the third story.

+ Typhlosion was originally the bully of the lot, as he was in BAF. After I settled on the kingdom being mostly reflective of the Grass and Bug types, I liked having a Fire type as one that picks on those weaker around him, because of obvious type advantages. The roster that appears around him reflects this, as he has an advantage against: Chesnaught, Escavalier, Accelgor, Scizor, and Heracross, with Lilligant and other civilians being bonus targets. Coincidentally, Bisharp was also an easy target for him, leaving him in a powerful position prior to Greninja’s arrival. However, I didn’t like the idea of a character just being mean for fun, and wanted there to be depth behind his actions. Furthermore, I didn’t like Typhlosion having a higher position from the other knights just because of that type advantage, as it wouldn’t feel like he ever earned it. Instead, I shifted his role as one that others wouldn’t respect much at all, since he was so crass and annoying, as well as lazy by relying on his Fire typing to help him win battles against them. By the time BAF was written out, he ended up as something of that bully role, but a far cry from being so effective against those he should easily outclass. This, however, is being traded off in favor of a more complicated role in MGR. When I decided against keeping Bisharp on Chesnaught’s side, and creating the rift between the knights, I was originally going to keep that throughout for the knights. But, I was writing Typhlosion’s role, which was literally on a 1:1 comparison to Chesnaught’s at that point. And I thought, “Well, I could have him continue to be that foil…or, I could do what I wanted to do earlier on.” What I wanted to do later with Typhlosion was prove that he wasn’t such a bad guy after all, and that he would befriend the others later in the series. But as a fellow outcast from the knights, it was easy to have him upgrade his role early on, and he quickly fit into the main group. His love interests will be explained by the end of MGR, which have mostly been identified by the audience. His other issues will continue to be addressed in the third story, as he’s far from done with them. Though, expect his role as a bully to have basically evaporated.

+ Samurott came to be after I realized that I wanted two things: a friend for Greninja, and a foil to both Chesnaught and Typhlosion. When I decided that Typhlosion wasn’t going to be very respected among the knights, Samurott’s role was easily upgraded to counter it. As a Fire type that floundered in an environment that favored his typing, I liked the idea of a Water type that would excel in an environment that went against his typing. His relationship as Typhlosion’s foil wasn’t going to net him much attention, so I wanted to make him one with Chesnaught as well. Hence, he’s more forward with his thoughts and desires than Chesnaught ever could be, and him being terrible at keeping secrets to contrast with Chesnaught’s keeping his sexuality a secret. Plus, he’s held a bit above the other knights due to his proficient skills, whereas Chesnaught’s favoritism comes from his friendliness, so that only adds to their differences. One thing I wanted to contrast between his relationship to Chesnaught and Typhlosion was that Samurott actually liked Chesnaught, whereas he wouldn’t be very kind around Typhlosion (if you haven’t guessed yet, that idea had quickly fallen apart). His biggest relationship, however, I wanted to be with Greninja. Very early, I was just going to make him the equivalent to Bisharp, being Greninja’s loyal friend in spite of anything. I liked the idea of him being from a foreign kingdom, and that having Greninja around would make him feel less isolated with the other knights, finding someone so similar to him. However, as I was writing, I liked the spot of tension that originally came from their meeting, in which Greninja was originally annoyed by Samurott’s sudden assistance with an issue, though quickly quelled by the samurai’s kindness and appearance. Considering that he wasn’t in a relationship with Chesnaught at the time, I liked that Greninja would have other crushes on knights, and Samurott to be the lead of them next to Chesnaught. But, what I grew to like more, was Samurott’s own interests in Greninja, and a struggle between being friends and something more. So, he was the one that pushed having romantic feelings for Greninja instead, who had literally just barely missed the chance to have had a relationship with Samurott, ultimately because of Samurott’s hesitation. As the story continues, Samurott still harbors feelings for Greninja, but he will continue to choose between wanting the ninja as his lover or if he’ll be satisfied with him as a friend. His feelings of being isolated in a crowd are slightly expanded, and provides a new way that he can relate to others with such feelings. The end of MGR will explore where that’s going, and the third story will have him confront his overall messy relationships.

+ Accelgor is Greninja’s partner ninja, and a friend of his. Her relationship with Escavalier is one that I wanted to try out, in which a married couple would be around with the main cast. I haven’t immediately gotten to everything that I have wanted to with her, so I can’t explain much here yet. Accelgor and Escavalier will have increased roles in the third story, so I’m holding off on both of them. Her pairing with Escavalier was my initial attempt at developing a relationship behind Pokemon that concerned trade evolutions, and I thought they’d be the best to start with. Married couples are something that are typically lacking in romance stories, so I wanted one that would be around for the duration, and one that wasn’t immediately regulated into a “parents only” role. She will have shades of that in her role, but I consider her as more of an aunt or older sister to Greninja. Escavalier is the other half to the relationship, and he’ll play into somewhat of an uncle figure to Chesnaught and Greninja. He’s an expert knight, but kind of bumbles around with his relationship to his wife, which is seen in BAF. He means well, and he wants his wife to be happy above all else. He’s another senior to the knights, and though younger than Nidoking and Rhydon, he’s certainly up there in age with them, with Accelgor herself not being very far behind. His character will be developed more in the third story as well, but his relationship with Accelgor will be probably the most stable among every other couple featured in the story.

+ Scizor was intended to be the cool and collected knight on the roster, which is noticeable from his original appearance in the first chapter of BAF. He’s quick to dismiss Typhlosion’s attempts to get into a fight with newcomers, and doesn’t get pressured into it. He was mostly left forgotten after that, however, as his role wasn’t really meant to be explored in the first story. Because of Typhlosion’s role shift, as well as the knights forsaking Chesnaught because of his romantic interests, Scizor was left as more a defacto leader among his fellow knights. He’s struggling to keep his allies focused on coming threats, and because he’s not a fan of homosexuality, he seems to have absorbed Typhlosion’s role as a bully for the duration of MGR. This, however, will not remain, as Scizor’s role will become all the more clear as the story continues. Unlike the other characters, his primary relationship will not be a romantic one. This will begin by the end of MGR, and will continue through in the third story.

+ Armaldo is one of two lackey type of knights, and the more frequently occurring of them. He’s a bit more uneasy under pressure, and typically folds when one of the other knights pressure him. Though he means well with his intentions, he’s still prone to making bad choices, such as teaming with Typhlosion against the new ninjas in BAF, and following Scizor’s bigotry in MGR. In the third and fourth stories, he’ll learn some new things about himself. Heracross is the other lackey between the two, and has less prominence. I liked the idea of a scout and messenger role for each kingdom, and I liked Heracross as one for Nidoking’s kingdom. So, unlike Armaldo, he’s more comfortable with being used by others, and can even roll along with it. Among the cast overall, he’s been the least developed character, and likely will remain that way for the four stories. Though, he will have more to do than just tag along, so expect more for him.

+ Golurk was a fun concept that I wanted to try out. I like the idea of a giant character around, and being physically out of place compared to the other characters that only feel like they’re out of place. He’s not going to have the same dynamic as any other character, again not motivated by love interests, and will speak less than most overall. Though his role seems like it will be a utility, he’ll have much more to work with in the third story, and a very critical role in the fourth. Golurk is basically going to be the sleeper character that seems like he’s just there, but will have more revealed by the end of it all.

+ Other characters beyond this core group are minor comparatively in the kingdom, at least for now. Their roles are regulated to their supportive roles, and will serve more to help other characters develop or to help advance the plot. However, among those introduced, there are at least two among them that are planned to have their roles expanded and fully realized in the third story. Each first appeared in MGR, as a slight hint.

= The very first thing that I wanted from the Iceberg Empire was a couple that would relate to Chesnaught and Greninja. I wanted a pair that could both be worse and better than Sneakpast. So, I knew right away that I wanted two characters who would start as friends, have a harsh fallout, and ultimately return to one another as lovers. I went over Pokemon that I liked, and picked out Machamp and Alakazam. Since I hadn’t explored the trade relationship for Accelgor and Escavalier, I decided that another aspect of that would be good. I also really wanted a pair that featured one half as really strong, and the other as really smart. When I was developing them, I figured it was a cliche duo that had been written before, and figured that someone, somewhere, surely featured such a basic, cookie-cutter pairing that’s literally been around since Generation 1 of Pokemon. You can only imagine my initial dismay when I found that this was a couple that essentially no one had thought of before. Suddenly, I became very excited by having chosen the two together, as they would be an easy couple to roll into, and one that no one ever paid any mind to before. They fit the role that compared and contrasted to Sneakpast better than I could have ever imagined. Readers have seen Alakazam and Machamp’s shaky relationship at its worst already, and they’ve seen the two get together and become happier. What’s coming up is how well they will work together.

= Empoleon as the Iceberg Emperor was an easy choice. Penguin for the arctic region with the word “emperor” as part of his name. Slam dunk simplicity at its finest. As the second leader to be introduced between the four major kingdoms, I wanted him to have similarities and differences to Nidoking. Both are wise, and present a fair amount of wisdom to share with their soldiers. Both, however, are also open to learning from their soldiers as well. Yet, I wanted this to be contested, in which Empoleon wouldn’t be as easily swayed or as open as Nidoking. So, he would be a lot more firm with his soldiers, and though open to learn from them, he would be more distant. Unlike Nidoking, who tackles situations head-on and lives in the present, Empoleon is more of a strategist, wanting to be thinking of the future and being steps ahead of his adversaries. This combination wired him for a relationship that would see a reactionary development to Nidoking’s own misfortunes, in which he would hide away his wife so as to not face the same sorrows that Nidoking barely made it through. As MGR continues, he’ll soften to his soldiers still, and continue to teach Greninja and Chesnaught more about the world overall. He’s a nice teacher role, and he has hopes to see his wife and child again. So far, with Mewtwo not being the Prophet of legend, things seem to be going his way…

= Abomasnow continues my trend of choices based on environment. Big, massive, angry yeti-tree. Sounds like the ideal general figure for the Empire to me! Reflecting Empoleon’s contrasts to Nidoking, Abomasnow’s personality develops to contrast with Rhydon. Unlike Rhydon, who is warmer toward his knights in spite of needing to be their leader, Abomasnow is harsh, dolling out punishments where he sees fit, and looking to root out the weakest on his line-up as opposed to making weak links stronger. Like Rhydon, he has favorites based on similarities to him, and likes his strong bear soldiers, as well as Golduck. Though he has a very tough exterior, he does care about his knights deep down. His development in a strict but cold personality was developed because he’s already lost soldiers under his guidance, and he’s more than fed up with it before the Kalos trio even arrived. A tough love kind of character, he’s slowly letting his guard down again after the incident of the Frozen Fields and the discovery of Mewtwo. He’s just…not quite as soft about it.

= Froslass was originally intended to be Alakazam’s answer to Delphox’s Gardevoir, in terms of a giggly and cheery mage partner. However, since his main relationship is focused on Machamp, and the pair would become foils to Sneakpast, there was little room for Froslass to be Alakazam’s friend. Instead, she ended up playing this role with Weavile, who is actually a lot less open with her friendship to Froslass than Delphox and Gardevoir are to each other. This is to be furthered by the next chapter of the story. Essentially, Froslass struggles with being so distant from her comrades, but buries her insecurities through fun and a jubilant attitude. She has a desire to get closer with others, but typically fails at this, either scaring them off, or otherwise just outright not understanding them. After the incident in the Frozen Fields, however, she has a stronger desire than ever to close such gaps.

= Weavile came from my desire to have a collected character on the roster again, and this time follow through with that. Unlike the other timid characters, she’s completely removed from her social companions, and typically stands away from the crowd. She yearns to be closer and has a desire to fit in, but fails to follow through with it. As a result, she has become distant entirely, with her lack of social skills only fueled by her role on the Iceberg Army as the archer. Though she’s totally out of place in a crowd, Weavile is learning how to get together with her companions. She was the most recent to arrive prior to Alakazam and Machamp, who were already friends. Her role is like Delphox’s in being a third wheel type. She does, however, interact with Froslass, being the only two females on the core line-up of the Iceberg army. With Froslass’s overall personality, this will be explored in the next chapter of MGR. 

= Carracosta is a character that I haven’t revealed much on yet because his role is more important to the second act of MGR. He’s showcased as a pessimist and a realist to contrast Mienshao, who’s a bit more into optimism and playfulness. His mysterious relationship will put him more into the spotlight, coming in the chapter after the next for MGR. This, however, was the source of his distancing between himself and the other soldiers.

= Mienshao, on the other hand, will also have more of his personality explored in the next chapter, so I won’t say much on him. Like Delphox, I wanted a Pokemon that’s typically considered female to be revealed as a male character, and providing Delphox with someone he never had in the Grass Fields Kingdom: an equal. There’s more to say on that, and Mienshao will have a prominent role during the second act of MGR. He’s more playful than he lets on, and likes making up proverbs that relate to current events. There is something a bit sinister about his grin, however, which unnerves his companions. Because of it, he became a bit avoided by the others whenever possible.

= Golduck was a knight on the Iceberg roster that was also introduced as Greninja’s ex-boyfriend. I picked him as being more of an elite member of the knights, and kind of owed it to him being a bird, which automatically means he gets along well with Empoleon. His relationship with Greninja explores the sour side of a gay relationship, being the first boyfriend Greninja ever had, and having not so great of an ending. As for why I picked Golduck? Honestly, the anime did it. His appearance long ago as that flirty duck that fought for Misty specifically because he liked battling for cute girls? That made me think of Golduck as this lecher forever. So, he was a double automatic first choice as the high ranking knight and the first ex-lover to be introduced.

= Delibird is basically Heracross’s equivalent to the Iceberg Empire, and wraps his role with Armaldo’s from the first story into one composite character. A messenger and yes-man to both Empoleon and Golduck’s orders, he’s ever the follower more than anyone else. Unlike the Grass Field equivalents, however, Delibird has a distinct refusal to participate in on Golduck’s shenanigans, typically only consoling his superior after his failures and giving him at least one ally to lean on, rather than partaking on his schemes. Delibird is nice and means well, but bumbles about with his role entirely. 

= Poliwrath and Politoed are my first attempt to writing characters in the Pokemon fanfics that have a different relationship to focus on besides romance and friendship, with their relationship established as brothers. They’ll have more about them revealed in the next chapter for MGR as well, so I won’t say much here. Just expect them to have this perpetual rift about them, and constantly bicker with one another. More on them another time, since…well, hey, I’ve got to keep some cards up my sleeves.

= Beartic, Pangoro, and Ursaring are my first attempt at a polyamory relationship. They’re a crass version of it, typically not caring what others think, and represent divides between cultures when they initially shock Greninja and Chesnaught, and when they continue to disrupt the common life of Grass Fields. They’re not exactly nice, but they’re not totally mean either…well, Pangoro’s not the nicest, but I digress. Their role continues with another chapter in MGR, but it’s mostly set to help establish another trio in the third story.

= Mewtwo isn’t going to have much given yet, since his role evolves with the story. (Pun intended.) I will say that I am intentionally trying to make him softer than his usual depictions, which typically include him being power hungry, cold, calculating, aloof, and is described as “savage” and basically heartless by the Pokedex descriptions themselves. That idea for Mewtwo is what most are used to, so I want to give him something less common to go by. He’s going to be something of an amateur compared to the rest of the cast, but retains his power, meaning that he’s got a lot of potential that he doesn’t quite know what to do with. Most importantly, he’s going to be caring and kind, contrary to what most depictions feature him as. He will have two important relationships to explore and develop for the third and fourth stories.

= Lucario is another character I can’t talk much about yet, but another that I’m going against what is considered the typical depiction. Most often, Lucario is something of a heroic type, usually kind of a general token good-guy type of Pokemon that appears. (No, I didn’t fight Gladion yet, so shut your mouth with those spoilers.) He’s…you know what? Saying anything else will spoil him too much. He’s going to be important as the story continues.

= Zoroark is part of Lucario’s team, and therefore I can’t say much. If you know him well enough, you can put together the kind of role he’ll have coming up.

= Flygon is the other part of Lucario’s team. I wanted to feature a Dragon and wanted one before my third story. He’s in a relationship with Zoroark mostly as a “thank you” to a friend of mine, honestly.

= Other characters that have appeared so far will probably be less in the story, and have less of an overall impact compared to the side characters in BAF. However, there are more to appear, and more that will have a great role to play in the second act of MGR, so stay tuned.

Phew! Long response. Thank you for asking that one! This is something that I look forward to coming back to when the series ends, but I’d love to clarify the characters for MGR, so that’ll be fun to revisit too.

Merry little Christmas

Christmas with Nik and Ronnie.

With @moonoverbourbon

Ronnie:

Veronica felt a sudden cold sweat across the back of her neck.

“I’m having traumatic flashbacks to the Sadie Hawkins dance in middle school,” she said. “Jimmy Patterson. It didn’t go well. I don’t really get the whole Sadie Hawkins thing anyway. It’s not the fifties, you know?”

Alright, this was stupid. She rubbed her fingers over her temple.

“It’s just we’re so new, and maybe it’s too much. But I spoke to my dad. And despite the fact that he’s been a Sheriff and a private investigator and he’sactually solved actual murders, he’s going on a cruise with his new girlfriend, who’s young enough to be my… okay, my mother but a young one, to solve apretend murder. In twenties cosplay.”

She tucked her hair behind her ear. “So I thought, maybe – you know. We could do Christmas together? Honestly, I’m not a bad cook. I do pea hens. Unless you prefer something else. We could even go out, I just don’t want to do it by myself. I can’t sit at home and pretend it’s just another Friday.”

–––––

Nik:

Nik stepped out of the doorway with a smile, inviting her in without saying a word. Behind him, the floor of his living room was a scattered mess of tinsel, ornaments, and pieces of artificial tree limbs that looked as if they’d seen better years.

“So I was going to surprise you,” he began sheepishly, shutting the door behind Veronica. “And have the place all decorated when I awkwardly asked you to spend Christmas with me, but I think my tree has seen its final days. I was just about to head to the tree farm out on Route 6 to pick up a little one this year.”

Shaking his keeps in his hand, Nik gave her what he hoped was a flirty smile (and not just totally goofy) and jerked his head toward the door. “Want to go with me? Help me pick out a tree, and then come back here to decorate?” He waited a beat before answering the question she’d initially asked, “And of course we can do Christmas together. I’d, uh, I’d like that very much. I’m even off work Friday and Saturday, so we don’t have to end the festivities early.”

They could stop by the store on the way back, pick up a few things for Christmas dinner. It was still a couple days away, but Nik was suddenly ridiculously excited for the first time in a long time. Perhaps this Christmas was going to be better than he’d originally thought.

–––––

Ronnie:

Veronica stepped in side, a grin stretching over her face.

“You were decorating? It looks like a bunch of elves got drunk and had a party.” She lifted one of the mangled limbs. Much as she endorsed the environmentally responsible artificial tree, Nik was right. “I can definitely help. All I planned to do today was some shopping. I want a fedora for my dad. A bald man on a murder cruise needs a fedora, don’t you think?”

Veronica slipped her hand into Nik’s – alright, this whole new beau thing was sweet as pie and Veronica was definitely enjoying every cute moment of it.

“Let’s go elbow old ladies out of the way to get the last perfect tree, alright?”

In the car, Veronica slipped a CD out of her bag, subtly.

“I just don’t think Christmas is Christmassy enough until there’s Christmas carols playing everywhere,” she said, turning it on. Yeah! Boy bands were awful until they hit a point in their careers low enough to have them record a Christmas album. All I want for Christmas is you was always a staple, allowing said boys to do a video clip moment where they looked right at the camera. Good place to start.

“So, food. Pea hens look adorable, but to be honest, they’re overrated. And pumpkin pie or pecan pie? I know they’re just a little off season but I forgot to cook at Halloween.”

–––––

Nik:

He couldn’t disagree. A bald man on a murder cruise most definitely needed a fedora. He did, however, raise an eyebrow at her drunken elves remark. “I’ll have you know the elves were not drunk. I was drunk; they were completely sober.”

Nik grabbed his coat, slipping it over his shoulders as he led her out the door and locked it behind them. In the car, he didn’t even argue with her choice of music. It was the season for it after all, and it wasn’t like all the radio stations weren’t playing it anyway. But this…this was torture on an epic level.  He was pretty sure it was New Kids on the Block, or some other horrible boy band.

It was a good thing that he cared so very much for her.

The department store was first up. No sense running around town with a tree strapped to the roof his car. If Veronica needed a fedora, then a fedora they would get. He’d already bought her gift, and his family didn’t speak to him, so Nik considered his shopping done. “I figured we could get your father’s gift first. Less chance for someone to steal our tree.”

“As for dinner, we could cook a small turkey. I found a recipe online for a citrus brined turkey, thought it might remind you of California.” Okay, so maybe he’d been planning on asking her to spend Christmas with him for a while, and maybe he’d just given himself away. Nik didn’t care. “And it must be pecan pie. Pumpkin should never be put into a pie shell.”

–––––

Ronnie:

Veronica grinned as Nik blanched but left the music on – wow. He really was something special.

“I feel a little guilty,” she said, with a mournful sigh. “Taking the last gentleman all for myself. Millions of girls all over the world fighting ESPN Classics for the attention of men that aren’t worth a half of you. Not guilty enough to hand you over to be shared around, but a little guilty.”

She reached over to gently pinch Nik’s cheek.

“Might have to get you microchipped in case of theft. But that seems like more of a New Year’s conversation, don’t you think?”

Citrus brined turkey. That sounded amazing. Veronica had never brined anything before. But wait…

“Hang on, buster,” she said. “You’ve put a lot of thought into this. You were going to ask me?” She grinned, biting the tip of her tongue a moment. “Wow. And here I was worrying this was too soon. I’m glad I asked you first, though. Lets me keep up the whole tough girl persona. I do a mean pecan pie. But what’s wrong with pumpkin? Oh.” She slapped her forehead. “I forgot. I had a British colleague back in the city who said pumpkin was mostly animal feed back home, couldn’t even stand the smell. So weird. Christmas without pumpkin pie. Or Halloween without pumpkin pie!”

Veronica had been back in California over Halloween, sadly. Testifying.

“Anyway, here we are,” she said, climbing out of the car as they parked. Straight and tall, she tucked her arm into Nik’s as they headed into the store. “One fedora, coming up.”

–––––

Nik:

Nik didn’t know how to respond to her words. He didn’t think he was all that special, nor did he think he was particularly gentlemanly. The right thing was simply easier for him to do that the wrong – and it caused less guilt in the long run. Giving Veronica a shy smile, he decided that discretion was the better part of valor and simply said nothing. If she only knew that he felt completely unworthy of her – of whatever this was between them – she might be quick to change her thoughts about him.

“I was,” Nik conceded, sparing a second to glance her way as he pulled into the parking lot. “Going to ask you. I was. I, um, hadn’t heard you mention any other plans, so I assumed…” He trailed off, letting her speak so that he didn’t embarrass himself further. “But I am more than happy with letting you be the tough girl in our relationship.”

Relationship.

Such a funny word…and one he didn’t think he’d ever hear associated with himself.

He waited until they were in the store to address the pumpkin comment, managing to get it out as they dodged one persistent last minute shopper after another. “I just don’t like it,” Nik shrugged, side-stepping a mother with a screaming toddler arguing over the last Mickey Mouse doll on the shelf. “It is used as animal feed back home, but once I came here I had a sweet old lady make me a pie for Christmas one year. I couldn’t stand the bloody taste of it, bless her soul.”

Finally. Clothing and outer wear.

Nik pointed to the men’s hats, ducking under a large sign proclaiming everything 40% off for TODAY ONLY. “It takes a special sort of insanity to be out shopping this close to Christmas,” he grinned, “and an even more special sort to go out to the stores with someone shopping this close to Christmas.” He shot her a wink, the grin turning to a teasing smirk as he led them closer to the spot she needed for her father’s gift.

–––––

Ronnie:

–

“That was dad,” Veronica said, dropping her phone on the corner of the coffee table. “I think I’ve ruined him for life. He wanted to know if he was supposed to take the hat ironically or post-ironically. I feel almost guilty being the reason he even knows to ask.”

She slipped into the kitchen, eyeing Nik’s progress with interest, and launched herself up on tip toes to kiss his cheek.

“I told him post-post-ironically, so, like, sincerely,” she finished, with a nod. “I hope somewhere along the line there’s going to be a bowl I can lick.”

It actually seemed unlikely, given the menu, but never mind. Things had gotten busy and Veronica still had a tree to finish decorating.

“Oh!” she said, reaching for her oversized handbag. “Forgot. My reindeer decoration. I made it when I was five. The googly eyes aren’t what they used to be, but Christmas isn’t Christmas without this little guy.” Yes, he was made from three popsicle sticks and a red pompom and yes the googly eyes were looking a little rheumy, but it was tradition. She gave him pride of place. [x]

The tree was definitely approaching professionally spectacular; even if Nik’s original plan of somewhat understated elegance had been obliterated by Veronica’s preference for as much bling as possible (strictly a Christmas thing). It was almost at the stage where the fire marshalls might object.

“I think I’m done,” she said, crawling on the ground the reach the power point behind the tree, to turn on the lights. Voila! “Do I get a treat?”

–––––

Nik:

The tree was beautiful, if a little…over decorated…for his taste. Nik was stirring the last of the pecan pie filling, and just about to pour it into the crust, when he looked up to see her reindeer decoration. He tried not to laugh, but could suppress the grin that stretched half-way across his face. In the entire time he’d known her, Veronica never ceased to stop surprising (or amazing) him. Shaking his head with a chuckle, he turned back to the pie filling to pour it into the shell and stick it into the oven. “You can lick this bowl if you’d like. It’s the filling for the pie, so nice and sweet. Your reindeer, by the way, is spectacular. I can think of no better place for it.”

So what if it was a little…less than stellar looking? The look on her face as she put it on the tree was more than worth any loss of aesthetic.

He wanted to see that look on her face all the time.

Nik looked back in time to see her crawling along the floor to turn the lights on and tried really hard not to let his eyes drift along the curve of her body. It was proving increasingly difficult the more time he spent with her.

“A treat?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “I suppose if the bowl isn’t enough…” Taking a few steps into the living room area, he waited until Veronica was standing and wrapped her in a tight hug. Pulling back just slightly, Nik angled his face to press his lips slowly to hers. The kiss was soft, slow – patient – not pushing for anything more than that moment. His fingers trailed down her cheek, up through her hair, pulling her just a bit closer as he deepened the kiss with a nudge of his lips against hers.  When he pulled away, his eyes remained closed for a moment, savoring in the memory of the kiss. “I’ve no treat other than the bowl you requested, but I can pour you a drink if you’d like.”

–––––

Ronnie:

Completely over the top. Exactly the way Veronica liked it. She smiled, letting her arms slip up over Nik’s shoulders to wrap around his neck as he pulled her close, one foot lifting off the ground as he kissed her so thoroughly – wow, was it ever time for this polite adult nonsense to end. Veronica wanted to find out what else that mouth could do. Stat. Whatever unspoken agreement they’d come to, which seemed to be, in sum, ‘not just yet’ – Veronica was putting an official end date on it right now. New Year’s Eve. She wasn’t going to look back on this year as the year she fell in love and completely failed to get even the teensiest bit of nookie.

Calm, Ronnie, she thought to herself as the kiss ended, and she finished with a little peck to the corner of Nik’s mouth.

“Nice,” she said, as she unlaced her fingers from around his neck, and dragged her hands over his shoulders, over his chest, settling at his waist for a moment. “I’ll take that drink – and the bowl as well.”

Pretty sure there was eggnog in the fridge, and even if this was much to warm for a real Christmas (would she ever get used to New Orleans?) eggnog sounded like just the thing. She followed Nik back to the kitchen, and scraped the blade of one finger inside the pie bowl, bringing it to her lips to taste.

“This is amazing,” she said. “I don’t know what you’re planning to have for dessert tomorrow, because I might eat the whole thing.”

After Christmas sales, expensive underwear, down to the garter belt – Nik was in for the seduction of the century, after just enough champagne to loosen them both up, and some very adolescent making out on the couch. Did it count as a New Year’s resolution if it was supposed to happen before midnight?

“Anyway. What else can we do tonight, or does the rest have to wait until morning?”

–––––

Nik:

If he’d been raised with even a modicum of self-worth, Nik would have already tried to take her to bed. He was so blissfully infatuated with her that he couldn’t half see straight, but there was still that little voice in the back of his head that whispered ‘not good enough for her.’ It sounded remarkably like his father, and every time he thought he might tell her how he felt it echoed louder than gunfire in his head.

And Veronica would probably never understand it if he tried to explain.

“One drink coming up, and help yourself to the bowl.” Nik made his way over to the counter where he’d set up his make-shift bar. A few moments and a great deal of mixing later, and he was back with a spiked eggnog that would knock her socks off. “Careful with that; it’s potent. I was a little heavy handed with the brandy.” He passed it over, returning to the pie that he’d been working on prior to the kiss that still had his head reeling.

“I’m going to bake this pie,” he smiled, shooing away her fingers, “and then everything else will wait til the morning. The turkey is in the brine. The vegetables are cut. The stuffing put together. It all just needs to be cooked.”

He poured the filling into the pie crust, lined the top artistically with pecans, and shoved it into the oven. Forty minutes later and it would be heavenly. “It’s late. If you want to finish your drink and go to bed, I understand. I’m not expecting you to drive home after that.” He grinned a little mischievously, proud of the drink even if it was strong.  “You can have my bed. I’ll need to wait up a bit longer for the pie to finish, lest I burn the house down around us.”

–––––

Ronnie:

Veronica sat up sort of primly at the counter – okay, fine, not primly, she had a glass of eggnog in her left hand and the index finger of her right hand was still stealing leftover batter from the bowl. But she was prim enough. After all – she hadn’t suggested forgetting the pie altogether ad licking the filling off each other’s naked bodies for the rest of the night, had she?

Pretty fucking prim.

But she watched him arrange the pecans, as artistically as he ever did anything – and how could someone not fall in love with a man who just wanted everything to be beautiful? – and slip it into the oven.

Why on earth had he not taken her to bed yet? She was going to figure it out sometime in the very near future and fix it. She ached for it. Ridiculous and adolescent as that may have been. She watched him tidy the bench almost absentmindedly.

Maybe not New Year’s. She didn’t want to break the poor man. He obviously had things he needed to work through – she could continue to cherish every kiss.

“I’ll stay,” she said. “But I’d rather share. It’s so cold.” Cold, ha! It was seventy degrees. But that was cold enough. “I promise not to get inappropriate. And this way we don’t have to politely get out of bed in the morning, e can just roll over and…”

She pushed herself up on the bench and leaned across it, meeting his lips just barely enough to tease.

“… kiss,” she said, and to be perfectly honest it had been one of the best Christmases she’d ever had, so far. And it hadn’t even started.

~complete~