#i have that book about asexuality. it's written in my native language. nobody in my family wants to read it or even look through it.
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#shhh b#some rambles i need to write out#tag 3#tag4#tag 5#tw acephobia#tw aphobia#sometimes i think about my identity and plans for the future and how my family reacts to it and it makes me lowkey sad#i'm moving out at one point in the near future and I have a renovated apartment waiting for me already#the room i'm most proud and happy of is my own home office and my family is aware of it - i've talked about it to them many times#no matter how many times tho--they always say that this room will be perfect as a baby room. all smiles and all#i've been preparing my family for the thought that I might not find a partner. i might not (most probably) want to have kids.#i might not get married ever#they're not listening c':#last year--i was 25 at the time--excited about the first book in my country about asexuality i came out as ace to my family#'focus on finishing university. you're under pressure right now.'#and when i was trying to explain how that doesn't change anything my dad looked at me and said 'no. stop.'#it's been a year and i keep thinking back to it#i have that book about asexuality. it's written in my native language. nobody in my family wants to read it or even look through it.#they're not bad people and i guess that's what's confusing#idk friend life is weird i know i'm privilaged lots but it still sucks sometimes
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