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#sometimes i think about my identity and plans for the future and how my family reacts to it and it makes me lowkey sad
nonbinaryspy · 7 months
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Meta: Timerra and Tellius
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Timerra’s (belated) birthday gives me an excuse to talk about one of my favorite Engage topics: the parallels between her and various Tellius characters.
(Spoilers for FE9/10 and FE17.)
The obvious place to start is Ike. As Timerra’s personal Emblem, his build and paralogue in Engage focus on turning defense into offense to endure and protect others. This synergizes with Timerra’s Sandstorm ability as well as her priorities as Solm’s future queen.
Compared to other Emblem summonings in the game, the scene where Ike is summoned is quick and to-the-point. The Solm royals are highly competent, with a wide spy network, and already had a plan in place for when Alear shows up. They have a healthy wariness they don’t immediately display, as they welcome Alear with open arms while secretly testing if they are the true Divine Dragon. By the time Timerra meets Alear, their identity has been confirmed and bandits are already attacking, so she jumps straight into action to get Ike’s help and protect the village.
I’m sure Ike would approve of her no-nonsense approach and her focus on keeping people safe, especially after all of his own bandit fights. He has no patience for bureaucracy or noble trappings, but he understands the need for discretion when danger and politics are involved (see: his own ‘sometimes you have to fool your allies’ maneuver in RD part 2), so I think he would appreciate how the Solm royals handle this.
But you don’t have to take my word for that. Between Timerra and Seforia saying they always wanted to meet him, Timerra calling him family, Ike telling Fogado that Solm castle reminded him of being with the mercenaries, and his first Somniel dialogue saying that he already misses Solm, I think it’s safe to say there’s a lot of natural fondness between Ike and the Solm royals. Is there any wonder, when one of Solm’s main norms is accepting people regardless of their origins, possibly Ike’s defining ideal?
My favorite example of this is when Alear’s origins are revealed, and Timerra and Fogado have some of the most affirming reactions:
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[ID: Four screencaps with the following dialogue toward Alear: Timerra: What matters to me isn’t how you were born. It’s what you do with the life you’re given. Timerra: If you choose to live as a Divine Dragon, then that’s what you are! Timerra: Nothing’s changed as far as I’m concerned. The you that’s in front of me—that’s all I need. Fogado: The people of Solm don’t care about origins. We care about the you NOW. And you are amazing.]
This aspect of Timerra shines throughout her supports, most notably in her relationships with Merrin and Panette. Their love and loyalty toward her stems from a time before they even knew she was a princess. They both see her as a beacon in their lives, as they wished to escape the confines of their pasts and find new futures for themselves. Timerra saw them for their ideal versions of themselves—Merrin as a chivalrous knight, Panette as someone who isn’t caught in a destructive cycle—rather than the situations they came from. Her acceptance helped them create those realities for themselves.
Anyway, unrelated to the above, just a completely random pair of images that don’t make me cry at all:
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[ID: In a screencap from Engage, Timerra is saying, “No matter what’s happened, you’re still you. Let’s go save the world, Ike!” In a screencap from Path of Radiance, Ike is telling Soren, “No. It doesn’t change anything. You’re still you, Soren!”]
Another example is Timerra’s attitude toward Veyle. In the main plot, she’s one of the few main characters to express distrust toward Veyle even after the truth is revealed. However, once Veyle has proven herself as an ally, Timerra is extremely friendly toward her in their supports, with Veyle appreciating how Timerra treats her like any other friend rather than a Fell Dragon’s daughter. Again, this is reminiscent of Ike’s blend of skepticism and treating everyone the same.
I think it’s also interesting that Timerra struggles with conflicting desires for freedom vs. connection, as shown in her S support. Despite Ike’s love for people, he doesn’t always deal well with the responsibilities and expectations that get placed on him, and his ending shows he shares some of her wanderlust.
Timerra: When we connect with people─you know, really bond with them─those bonds make us stronger. Timerra: I mean, our closest allies help us do things we could never do all by ourselves. Timerra: That’s powerful stuff. But those bonds─those friendships─can feel like obligations too.
Finally, one of my favorite parallels between Ike and Timerra is a shared charm point: the fact that they live as they please, regardless of what others think, while also acting like everything they do is super obvious. An extremely ‘have your cake and eat it too’ mentality that I can only respect. 
Alear: Still, you never cease to amaze. You take it upon yourself to help root out bandits… Timerra: What, is that not normal? Timerra: I’m just protecting my people. I thought that’s what royalty was supposed to do. Alear: You say something completely radical like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Timerra: Hahaha! That’s my charm!
Ranulf: Well…a little crazy, yeah! I’ve never worked for a leader who’s as blunt and straightforward as you. It’s pretty shocking to have a commander who doesn’t care what anyone thinks, no matter how powerful they are. Ike: Well, that’s just my style. I don’t have to be like someone else, do I? Ranulf: Why are you so confident? I don’t get it. Normal beorc just do what people tell them and try not to make a fuss. But not you. I heard you even yelled at the apostle! Ike: Yeah, that wasn’t my brightest moment. Ranulf: Then again, worrying about a beorc like this is definitely not normal laguz behavior. I guess I’m a fish out of water myself… Wait, did I just call myself a fish? Ike: Wha–? Ha ha! You’re a cat, remember!? I thought you ate fish. Ha ha ha!
Okay, that last bit isn’t relevant, but I just want to highlight that while Timerra and Fogado talk about how serious Ike is compared to them, they would definitely enjoy his secret love of bad puns. Here’s a bit of Timerra’s own sardonic humor that brings Ike to mind:
Alear: What?! How do you eat that much?! Timerra: Oh, you know. Open my mouth, bite, chew. I won’t bore you with all the details.
Of course I have to mention their love of meat, even if I don’t find that to be an important part of Ike’s character. What I will say is that Ike is shown in his supports with Oscar to have a genuine appreciation for artful cooking, so I think it’s neat that Timerra is one of the best cooks in the army. It’s also endearing that she feels bad for cooking around Ike when he can’t eat, though he tells Fogado the smell is enough.
Next, I want to talk about a couple of characters who aren’t in Engage: Mist and Elincia. I adore that the focus on Timerra protecting Ike flips his dynamic with both of these ladies on its head. Speaking of protection…I believe that Mist and Ike’s relationship mirrors Timerra and Fogado’s, with their fond, casual banter. It makes sense, since both duos are close in age.
Interestingly, despite Timerra being Fogado’s older sister, he is as protective of her as Ike is toward Mist. In Fogado’s case, he seems to almost see himself as Timerra’s retainer, given that he will one day be her advisor. He travels around to prepare himself for this role. Timerra, however, doesn’t always like this, as she wishes they could hang out more and that he would be more candid with her. While they’re clearly close, the distance still leaves her lonely.
Though it’s a different situation, Greil’s death puts Ike in the role of Mist’s protector at the same time that he gains dangerous responsibilities. He also takes it upon himself to get revenge on their father’s killer. She stresses that she does not want him to do these things if it means she’ll lose him, too, and as the game goes on, they lose some of the lighthearted dynamic they had at the game’s start. Having already lost her parents, it’s easy to assume Mist feels lonely in this circumstance. She even has her own protective streak toward Ike, such as in her battle conversations with the Black Knight and Ashnard. Like Timerra, Mist wants to stay close to her loved ones and protect them, and she joins the fighting to that end, even learning swordplay despite being a healer.
Despite their troubles, Mist and Timerra share a bubbly personality. They tend toward optimism and try to hide their cares them. Their sunniness gets them and others through tough situations. However, those around them still want to be able to support them even when struggle with being vulnerable.
In my opinion, some of Mist’s designs evoke Timerra’s, such as in the colors and flowing accessories. While the clothes aren’t super similar, I think the two of them would definitely enjoy going clothes shopping together. I also think they’d like to sing together. Timerra’s silly songs may be a far cry from the galdr that Mist and Elena safeguard, but that would suit Mist just fine.  
Possibly my favorite character to compare Timerra to, though, is Elincia. Timerra’s bangs and the fact that her hair is tied up even follow in the character design traditions of Elincia and other characters in her archetype, such as Nyna and Guinevere. Granted, Timerra’s ponytail is a lot looser than those other characters, which is an excellent design choice as she has a much more free-spirited personality.
Still, Elincia once upon a time was not so different. She grew up in secret, frolicking in the countryside with no expectation of becoming queen. As a result, she did many things most princesses didn’t do, such as chores, horseback riding, and sword fighting. It’s commented many times that due to cultural differences as well as Timerra’s own personality, her lifestyle and activities are often at odds with what others expect from a princess. While their allies might find both princesses strange at times, they end up trusting and supporting them due to their approachable natures.
Elincia is shown to have a playful streak in PoR when she is reunited with her retainers, around whom she feels comfortable enough to drop her more stately personality. On the flip side, while Timerra is more frequently playful, she never forgets her role. Even her more casual supports show this, such as when she susses out Ivy’s weakness during a camping trip, or interrupts a training session with Diamant to ask if he believes peace is possible. Many of her exploration quotes show this as well, with her referencing the other nations’ politics and even in her response if her allies die.
“My brother, my stewards…gone. It’s so cruel. But as the future queen, I will not crumble!”
Elincia and Timerra’s upbringings contrast with each other, since Timerra has always known she would be queen. Her free-spirited nature stems from Solm’s ideals and the role of its government. After Daein invades, Elincia has to travel incognito, giving her a chance to learn about the world. She develops a strong desire to protect her people. The endpoint of her character development in PoR is where Timerra is already at when we are introduced to her—Timerra has been training and traveling incognito and is ready to defend her country. Regardless of where they start, Elincia’s compassion and resolve are reflected in Timerra, who only wants to make her people happy and believes the best way to do that is to get to know them, so she can better understand and protect them.
The games’ plots present challenges that test both characters’ resolve. While Elincia has to make a variety of decisions, the one I want to highlight comes at the end of RD part 2, when Lucia is taken hostage. Elincia is told that Lucia will die unless she gives up the throne to a usurper. However, she refuses. Despite the sacrifice of someone dear to her, she will never give up on protecting Crimea. In the end, both Lucia and Crimea are safe, but it has nonetheless been demonstrated what Elincia would do under that pressure.  
I thought of this when I got to one of my favorite moments in Engage, when Timerra and co. have to take back the palace from the Elusians. Hortensia holds her mother hostage, assuming Timerra will bend and hand over the Emblem rings. However, doing so would doom Solm along with the rest of the world. Timerra refuses to back down, and she saves her family along with her country.
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[ID: Five screencaps alternating between RD and Engage. Elincia and Timerra look resolved, while Lucia and Seforia as hostages look on proudly. Elincia: But I will see Crimea through this trial. I will give my people the future they deserve, no matter the cost. Timerra: So threaten us all you want. Take my whole family hostage, if it makes you happy. Timerra: But I stand for Solm, and I always will. Lucia: People of Crimea... Behold a true queen! YOUR queen! Long live Queen Elincia! Seforia: There she is, the future queen of Solm. And her ally, the Divine Dragon.]
Back to characters who are in Engage: the other Tellius Emblems. As with Elincia, Micaiah is presented with a series of trolley problems throughout RD. There’s a big focus in the Tellius games on making decisions for personal vs. political reasons, and whether to prioritize a loved one/a situation that is right in front of you over the bigger picture, and I think this is most complex with Micaiah’s story. This is highlighted when Sothe is held hostage and she is told to stand down to save him. This recalls the situation I already discussed with Timerra.
Like Timerra, Micaiah is a tactical thinker who has to foresee long-term plans as well as use strategic approaches in situations where she’s outnumbered. Micaiah ends RD as Daein’s queen, despite not being brought up for that role and having traveled in disguise, getting to know and love Daein’s people. Again, this fits with Timerra traveling around incognito and being passionate about protecting Solm.
Timerra expresses that Solm didn’t reach out for help when Sombron returned because they’d have to return other nations’ support when it was taking all of their efforts just to keep Solm safe. This brings to mind Micaiah’s conflicts, as she has to make difficult decisions to protect Daein from Begnion’s occupation and the blood pact, which sometimes involves rejecting outside help when a situation is too complicated, such as in her 3-13 battle talk with Ike.
Unfortunately, Emblem bond supports don’t have the scope for these sorts of complexities. However, I was tickled by the fact that Timerra invites Micaiah to sing with her, as a reference again to the Galdrs.
Speaking of bond supports…I don’t have anything deep to say about Timerra and Soren, but just look at how precious they are:
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[ID: Two Emblem Bond screencaps. Soren is bowing with his hand over his heart, and he and Timerra are smiling at each other. Soren: You’re the princess of Solm, is that right? I thank you for protecting Ike. Timerra: He’s told me so much about you. I expect big things from you, talented advisor!]
Her careful approach to protecting Ike’s ring won the trust of someone with deep trust issues and a protective streak toward Ike, aww. They’re friends in my files every time. It’s also sweet that she wants to understand him and Ike better by learning about the mercenaries. I know she loves her moodier Emblem pals, but I’m sure she’d feel right at home with the whole rambunctious crew, like how Ike felt at home in Solm.
While this post is long enough without going into depth on Yunaka, as Micaiah’s guardian she also has a combination of Tellius influences, between her obvious parallels to Yune and Sothe as well as some of the themes of Micaiah’s character. Micaiah’s introduction, with her calling out to Yunaka, even mirrors Micaiah hearing Yune’s voice. For these reasons, I really wish she and Timerra had talked. I think Timerra’s simultaneous hidden wariness and acceptance of people regardless of their backgrounds would definitely play well with Yunaka’s arc. Fogado, as someone who shares Timerra’s ideals, certainly had a positive influence on Yunaka in their supports with his compassion. Plus, can you imagine the silly phrases Timerra and Yunaka would invent together?
I’ll end this before it strays too far from the main point, but I hope someone else enjoys these observations! Timerra is my favorite Engage character, and since Tellius is so dear to me, noticing these connections definitely made her character even more special.
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andohmyloveiliedtoyou · 11 months
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Sometimes I sit and think about how isolated Itachi was from the stem of existence that pushes through turbulent life.. He didn't have a part of himself that belonged to him, that was solely his. His identity or sense of self was stripped from him when he was barely able to walk. His needs as a child which are basic for every newborn, love, value, patience, a voice, formulaic and necessary to grow into a functioning adult, were denied all rights by his mother and father on account of internal warfare. What about his extended family? Did he have aunts and uncles who bonded w/him? Did they root for him when he accomplished his first steps, did they bring him little gifts and take family picnics and defend him when his mother got fed up with him being a naughty kid? Was Itachi ever allowed to be a naughty kid? Was he ever allowed to visit his cousins for play time as a kid? Sleepovers and holiday outings?
Did he ever have anyone in his corner AT ALL?
No Itachi was thrust into the underbelly of war when he was 4 years old and his father brought him to a warzone, a valley of decomposing bodies, corpses that wreaked of blood and guts and bodily fluids. Out in the open. His father didn't do it to protect him from what was to come, to shield his formative sensibilities from the dangers of the ninja world, he did it to MANIPULATE and SECURE A WIN in the clan's favor. Here he had a son who exceeded every milestone a parent could pray for. Why not extort, manipulate, mansplain, manlight, and emotionally abuse my firstborn into becoming the ninja he was meant to be, through the flimsy front of a father who means well, all the while shaping his developing mental facilities into a tool for the future of the clan.
You can be sure Fugaku gloated and preened as he poetically unfolded the horrors of war to baby Itachi, ignoring that he was terrified to the point where he had nightmares every night of dead, blown up bodies or stray limbs, strewn discriminately with entrails and bones, swimming in a river of gore and blood. You can be sure it was those images Itachi saw every night when he closed his eyes, and when he woke up sweating and holding back screams no one was around to console him, hold his shaking and grieving lost soul until the convulsions calmed down, no one expected that of a prodigy.
No one expected a prodigy to be anything less than a killing machine, a well oiled infantry soldier, a perfectly honed stroke of luck for a clan who only knew abandonment and discrimination. Itachi was their shining light, their promising future, their only hope. No one expected a prodigy to distrust them, to turn against its own kin, to reshape the fate of all the ninja lands. No one expected a prodigy to betray them. No one expected a prodigy to fall. To fail.
Did Itachi have friends? Sasuke was the closest mirage he had to the living world. Sasuke was his constant. Shisui gave up. Shisui abandoned him. Every morsel of any shred of comfort Itachi longed for was slowly and deliberately removed from him, one by one, methodically by fate. The only last detail remaining was either to kill himself, or weild his hand and let fate steal the one last remaining bit of rationality, and that was choice. Itachi never had a choice from the moment he was conceived, to the moment his dying and crippled body failed him.
Itachi was never allowed a wife. Children of his own. A legacy. He didn't have a choice. He was never allowed to grow old. Grandchildren. He wasn't allowed the privilege of seeing Sasuke grow with his family. He wasn't allowed to love his nieces and nephews. He wasn't allowed the gift of settling down and pass on his genes to future prodigies. To thirst for the love of a woman. He wasn't to have connections that weren't of state and sanctioned by his superiors. Every single move he made was pre-planned and concerned with authority. Every single minutiae of his entire existence was woven with the fate of many others. Every aspect of life failed Itachi, from his family to his friends, to his superiors to his own body.
Sasuke was the only anomaly, the only piece of the puzzle that was whole, unmarred from the destructive forces commanding Itachi's fate.
(Sasuke discourse coming.)
- Written by my friend who is too lazy to post this on her blog and only wrote this to distract me from the fact that she hasn't started writing any of our fic
HATERS DO NOT CROSS THIS THRESHOLD.. Take your pathetic hate for a 2D drawing and whine on your own cringe blogs.
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hebruh · 4 months
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it just hit me again tonight, how lacking the international response was to october 7th. and it just makes me so sad, the way people pull out all the stops to justify their internalized hatred of jews. every condemnation was couched in excuses. pro-palestinian sentiment was being shared in droves before israel launched any semblance of retaliatory attack. when i went to friends for support, their response to me expressing fear for my family was to ensure that i knew the "context" in which this attack occurred, that i understood the reasons behind how and why hamas came to power in gaza, and why there are palestinians who support them.
and i could talk about how i maintained compassion and offered support to a palestinian friend, even when i disagreed with him on his conclusions, only to have it blow up in my face when i wouldnt denounce the existence of a state that ensured my family's survival. but i try not to view compassion as something thats transactional. i would have made the same decisions and befriended this person even if i knew already how it was going to end.
this has all really sucked, obviously, but it's also opened up a new possibility for me: in having cut ties with the few remaining people who made me hesitant about leaving america, ive now started to genuinely consider moving to israel. i can be friendless and have no grand plans for the future in america, where antisemitism is on the rise, and i already constantly feel like an outsider by virtue of never fully assimilating into the american national identity, or i can be friendless and have no grand plans for the future in israel, where the entirety of my extended family lives, and where i can walk around without thinking to hide my magen david necklace or being afraid to speak hebrew in public.
congratulations, anti-zionists! in continuing to ignore (and sometimes even perpetuate!!) antisemitism in your own communities, you have pushed Yet Another Jew in the direction of israel! this will definitely help further your cause to dismantle the state!
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hockeyboysimagines · 10 months
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Hello dear! I see you've had a few requests about Tkachuk but he's one of my favorites so would it be too much of a bother if I asked too? hahah (you can switch to another player if you want)
I wonder what it would be like for him to commit even more to his girlfriend (not necessarily a marriage proposal, but a hint that this was in his future plans?) I think something like, he and his girlfriend met and started dating in Calgary, she's always gotten along with his family, friends and the whole complicated hockey universe. For silly reasons, she and Matt have been fighting a little more than usual, and it all gets worse when Matthew is traded to Florida. She is afraid of moving away from her home, family and friends, especially with the uncertain way things are going in their relationship. Oh and I don't know, maybe they take a break, Matthew moves to Florida and realizes that without her with him nothing feels right? Does she feel like Calgary has lost its color without Matt there? Does she go to one of his games by suprise? Or does he go all the way to Calgary to see her? Many possible endings hahaha
I hope this is what you had in mind!
Things had never been this bad.
All couples fight, sometimes over big stuff and sometimes over little stuff. But you and Matthew were fighting over both of those things and everything in between.
It seemed there was nothing you two weren’t fighting about these days. It felt silly thinking about it, and it felt even sillier to know that it really didn’t make any sense at all. Nothing had changed really, or at least not to your knowledge, although it had been a somewhat tough year in Calgary. Always the center of hockey drama, Matthew was becoming more well known than ever at this point, and your “strong” relationship had begun to crack under the pressure. In the beginning you decided you would hang tough, because the good parts always outweighed the bad. But now you were hanging on for dear life because the bad was drowning you. Once calm waters were now raging and choppy and more than once your head had dipped below the water line.
It was exhausting.
There wasn’t really one thing or one person that was to blame. It was both of you. You’d just forgotten how to to be with eachother.
In the beginning it was sunshine and rainbows. You loved the city, his family, the other Wags, all of it. You threw yourself into his life, being every bit the supportive girlfriend you should be. And it was great. But as time wore on, you’d lost your identity and become nothing more than Matthew Tkachuk’s girlfriend. And then the rumors.
You didn’t really believe them, but they still hurt. And he saw that. He saw how much you struggled with them, so he moved you into his apartment hoping that would make things better.
It didn’t.
If anything it was worse. Every minute he wasn’t home when he said he would be you sat wallowing in your own paranoia. He started posting more photos of you on his social media in order to quell your overthinking, which only opened the door for ugly remarks on your appearance and invasion into your privacy. To him it seemed like no matter what he did, it never made anything better, just worse.
But it had come to a head when the news of his trade to Florida broke.
You’d been blindsided, having no clue it was about to happen.
He however didn’t seem as surprised.
“I didn’t tell you because I wanted to surprise you.” He said nonchalantly as he unpacked a jersey the panthers had sent him “Your gonna love Florida. It’ll be a fresh start for us and I-“ he stopped when he caught your eye and frowned “What?”
“I’m not-I’m not moving to Florida.” You said quietly. The silence in the room was the loudest thing you’d ever heard. He was standing so still he could have been a statue, but the blood creeping up his neck and across his face gave him away.
“I don’t want to uproot my life that way, especially not with how things here have been going.”
“Babe things are going to get better.” He came around the counter and grabbed your hand “I know things have been hard but-“
“No you don’t.” A tear spilled over your lower eyelid and ran down your cheek “You have no idea how hard things have been for me.”
He stepped away from you “Oh don’t I? Do you think I would do everything I’ve been for the last year if I didn’t know?”
“I didn’t ask you to do any of that-“
“I did it because I love you and I wanted to help. Clearly that wasn’t enough. You know-“ he scoffed and turned away shaking his head “No matter what I do it’s ever good enough for you. You don’t want to come to Florida, fine don’t come.”
That had been 5 months ago. It had turned into a knock down, drag out screaming match that had ended in tears and a packed suitcase. You’d stayed with your sister for a week until he’d left for Florida and you hadn’t seen him since.
You’d been keeping tabs on him though, even finding yourself smiling a little as you watched the coverage on him in Florida. You missed him, realizing now that he was what made life in Calgary colorful and great. And that maybe there was more you could have done to fix things. Maybe he was right. You’d never really appreciate me the things he’d done to make things better for you and that maybe Florida would be kinder to you than Calgary was. And now you’d never get the chance to find out. You were walking through life without really living, completely numb to the outside until a knock at your door turned things around.
Matthew was standing on the other side of your door, bundled in cold weather gear. You were both surprised and not surprised. You knew he was in town for his “return to Calgary game”, but you didn’t think you’d see him. After all it had been 5 months of complete silence between the two of you. And while you’d hoped that maybe you would run into him or fate would bring you together, you also kind of didn’t. It would be hard to see him knowing what had gone down between you.
“I forgot how fucking cold it is up here.” He walked wordlessly past you and turned to find you still holding open the door.
Before you throw me out, just listen.” He reached past you and pushed the door shut before he sighed “I acted like an asshole before, and I should have talked to you sooner but it’s taken me 5 months to realize how dumb I was being. I have no idea how hard that was for you, and I won’t pretend to. The truth it, I never even tried. I just kept putting bandaids on our problems hoping it would make it better, but looking back I think if maybe I had tried to just see things differently and understand why we started to struggle it would be different. Every time something happened I saw you pulling away and I panicked because I didn’t want to lose you, so I took another step forward with you in hopes that would are it better. And I don’t regret any of that, but I wish I had tried to get a better understanding of your feelings and for that I’m sorry.”
You pursed your lips “It’s not your fault. I appreciate your apology and as much as I’d love to let you take the blame, some of it was my fault too. I wanted so badly to just be a part of your life that I gave up my own life for it. I loved being your girlfriend and everything that came with it, and when things got tough I never appreciated your support the way I should have. I never realized that you were only trying to help because I had my head so far up my own ass I couldn’t see straight. You did a lot to help me assimilate into your life and I never thanked you. I’m sorry too.”
He smiled a little, and then a lot “I know it’s crazy. But that offer about Florida is still there if you want it. I miss you and I want you there with me.”
You felt like you were melting as you walked forward wrapping your arms around his midsection “I missed you too. And if you want me to move to Florida with you, consider it done. I’d follow you to the North Pole Matthew Tkachuk.”
“The North Pole? Are you crazy. I barely made it here without freezing. How about we start with Miami? Sound good to you?” He smiled down at you.
“Anywhere with you does.”
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twisting-echo · 1 month
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So ¿what in your opinion are Danny fenton's top 5 cutest crossover ships? In both het and slash.
So ¿two top 5's? I don't know.
Well, this is going to be fun because I have more than just 5 hehehe 😼
1) Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom x Manny Rivera/El Tigre (TigerGhost/TigerSpirit) I just fell in love with their dynamic, thanks to @/nicktoonsunite
I love Danny and Manny because Danny tends to be a little more serious and easily stressed out than Manny. And Manny's laid-back and fun loving personality helps balance that out for Danny. But the main draw for me is that they both understand what it's like to have separate identities that clash with their lives and the responsibility of protecting others. Even though they may feel like their powers get in the way of their normal lives sometimes, they will always put aside their own needs to do what's right.
2) Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom x SpongeBob SquarePants (SpongeBoo) because of @/nicktoonsunite (and because I remember playing Nicktoons Volcano Island on my old GameCube and Nicktoons Globs of Doom on my old PS2). 
Danny and SpongeBob are just cute, queerplatonic partners, and their personalities mesh well together. I love how close and comforting they are in @/nicktoonsunite's universe. If there was something that was bothering them both, they would be the first people they chose to confide in. 
3) Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom and Octavia Goetia (Spectral Owl) because of you and how cute they are. I honestly love the idea of Danny and Via healthily trauma bonding over the upbringings they had in their family homes. I love how shy and awkward they would be with each other.
I imagine Octavia helping Danny ghost hunt with her magic and knowledge of the supernatural, but I think what I love most is how slowly and gently Danny gets Octavia to put her walls down and trust him. They would be absolutely good for each other as a couple, and I headcanon that Danny will grow to be 6′ 1″ and Octavia will be 6′ 7″. Danny and Octavia will be a tall and adorable king and queen couple one day. (He will always nickname her Spooky.)
4) Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom x Betty Barrett/Atomic Betty (Galactic Ghost) Now I was a huge Atomic Betty and Danny Phantom fan in my childhood (still am) so that's how this ship came to be.
I ship Betty and Danny for the same reasons I ship Danny and Manny but Danny becomes a galactic guardian and Betty becomes a ghost buster lol.
5) Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom x Little Cato (Spectral Space/Spooky Cat/Ghostly Hellions) (I need more ship names for these two).
I'm a huge Little Cato fan, and this is one of my favorite ships that I've come up with for him. I like to imagine that Little Cato gets his first intense crush on Danny, and Danny is completely oblivious (for awhile) about it. Little Cato just thinks that Danny is the coolest person he's ever met, and laughs at all of his silly jokes. Danny can't help but think how cute Little Cato is and finds himself enjoying every moment that they spend together. That's all I'm going to say about this ship because I plan to make a post about them in the future.
Honorable Mentions:
Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom x Jenny Wakeman/XJ-9
Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom x Billy Joe Cobra
Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom x Lydia Deetz (Because Lydia is sweet and kind and everything Sam isn't)
Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom x Spencer Wright
Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom x Verosika Mayday
Danny Fenton/Danny Phantom x Loona the hellhound 
 There's probably more that I like but can't think of any more right now.
Thanks for the ask @amethystoceandespiser
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Actually regarding my last Hatoful post I made, I don’t think enough attention is given to the way Sakuya has been completely un-personed by Le Bel. He’s not only “raised in a sheltered and classist environment”, everything he is is a regurgitation. There is not a single thing Sakuya says in early game that isn’t what his “father” told him to - this doesn’t exactly excuse his behaviour towards his classmates, but it is also very concerning. You would expect Sakuya’s arc to be about the pressure and expectation he feels as the next family head, but while it certainly does seem to be a lot of work, he doesn’t really show much indication that it’s gotten to the point that it’s too much to bear. He handles responsibility very well. He’s just. Unhappy. Sakuya runs away from home in freezing cold weather and collapses in the street, all because he deigned to think about loving music. He hadn’t even come around to thinking about actually pursuing it as a career. This alone seems more like Sakuya hit a breaking point than one isolated incident - there is likely a lot more going on behind the scenes that we are not privy to for Sakuya to be that subservient and that terrified of Le Bel. Hiyoko even internally notes that he’s always acting way angrier than he actually is - anger is a reactive emotion, and if he reacts aggressively, he won’t have to think about these things that challenge the worldview Le Bel has indoctrinated him with. He is literally too frightened to challenge Le Bel, even within his own mind.
Similarly, Yuuya takes on a job that restricts him from forming any semblance of a stable identity or from letting the mask fall. Ever. Sakuya deflects with anger and his high-born reputation, and Yuuya deflects with a flirty laid back persona while allowing everyone he meets to believe every rumour they spread about him. And people treat him horribly. He laughs it off with the whole “that’s a little cold” or “bit harsh” but. Like. It hurts him. I don’t think he’s genuinely ever built up a tolerance against that kind of badmouthing, and the sad part is that the worst of it comes from Sakuya, his own little brother who he would and has done everything for. But he won’t ever refute it or defend himself, because it helps him keep his cover at the school, and also probably in part because he feels he deserves it. Yuuya does not like himself, largely due to his constant guilt. He even doubts his competence at times, when his efforts as an agent fail (see early HoliStar). He has no idea what his future will look like. He has no plans for himself. He acts in defence solely on behalf of other people’s happiness and safety and receives the words of the man he hates most spat in his face by the little brother he would do anything to protect. And yet, to him, it will always have been worth it.
It would’ve been so easy to make them polar opposites but I do love how the writing actually shows a number of key similarities between them that pop up in certain situations.
Their correct answers in their routes typically involve standing up to them or telling them off in some way (Sakuya’s bossiness, Yuuya’s flirtation)
Sometimes make rash decisions due to their anger or irritation (I mean. Sakuya. A lot but also. The egg.)
They are both quick to take on responsibility for others in a crisis situation and tend to handle it fairly well for the most part (rip to Sakuya with the giant tank that showed up at his mansion. to be fair Yuuya couldn’t stop it either.)
Kings of not being honest about their true feelings or personality. Like ever. Masks and defence mechanisms up constantly. (Yuuya is at least a little more self-aware; he does genuinely seem to care about justice - while Sakuya, as stated previously, has very little in the way of an identity at all and is not self-aware in the slightest lol)
Anyways I feel insane about the fantail brothers. That is all.
(Art above is by the author Moa btw. You can find it on the wiki!)
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knifearo · 4 months
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beloved aro blog thank u for that response to the anon who didnt know how to tell if they were aro (it says asexual, but maybe that was a typo?). i generally use the aro label for myself because it fits 95% of the time but that 5% is when the doubt comes in and i feel like im "faking it." but that anon u answered has Cleared the Cobwebs of Doubt. youre Right. Amatonormativity is So Prevalent. the paragraph about wanting romance bc romance, or wanting romance bc society says u need a romantic relationship to get xyz thing from life Hit Me So Hard. i think i will come back to this post every time i feel Unsure about my label. so thank u for placing your words in that order for me. love loses. love wins. violence. have a great day homie
first of all. i'm ur beloved aro blog 🥺 nd yeah i do think it was a typo haha
second of all i'm so glad that it helped out for you :) the thing about amatonormativity is that you will constantly go "it can't be doing ALL of these things." but then it IS. EVERY TIME. you look up and amatonormativity is warping your ideas of self-worth and your plans for the future and your interactions with friends and family and holding society as a whole in a fucking vice grip and it's fucking. stealing your lunch money too. idk. that bitch. you know how it is. anyway that 5% is so real and you're so real for feeling it and it is NOT silly or cringe to take a few seconds in the bathroom mirror telling yourself "you ARE aromantic. and it's okay." if that's something that'll help. and also yada yada "aromanticism is not one uniform experience and arospec identities are valid and you can call yourself aromantic even if you experience romantic attraction sometimes as long as it feels like a label that's relevant to your experience" all the things that i'll say anytime someone is coming to me saying that they don't know if they're Really aro haha. just to get it out of the way. sounds like you've got stuff in a good place rn and i'm so glad that you're feeling that way :) hell yeah brother love loses!!!!! aromanticism forever and ever 🖤
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hypergamiss · 2 months
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in your opinion, why do you think it takes some people (me) so long to let go of hurt someone caused in your life....I’m trying to understand why I do that and would rather hold on to hurt/bad feelings, hatred I know it sounds bad towards someone then let go of it? I was talking to a guy over a year he caused me a lot of hurt but would always justify it (flip it on me and make it my fault when it clearly wasn’t)...our relationship ended but it’s taken me so long to even let go of hurt like I said and cry about it multiple times everyday...
When this happens (imo) it is because you over invested in the other person heavily. You invested in them emotionally, physically, and monetarily. A lot more than was necessary. You made sacrifices for them and you bent over backwards for them even when your intuition might’ve been sending you warning signals not to. It hurts even more when you feel like you invested in them a lot more than they did into you and like all of the hard work you put into the relationship wasn’t reciprocated. And sometimes it’s not the fact that they didn’t reciprocate at all, sometimes we over do it with the amount of attention and effort that we give our partners that we feel like THEY are not doing enough when we shouldn’t have made our entire life revolve around theirs to begin with. When we don’t keep our own identity and make our partner the center of our universe, it makes the break up 100x harder. Detaching and moving on gets a lot easier when the person you dated invested an equal amount into the relationship or if they invested more than you did. For example, when I date a man I am letting him lead and I’ll set expectations when necessary because I know he can’t read my mind. I do not change any future plans that I have set for myself because of him or for him. I do not put any goals on the back burner. I do not let his emotions affect mine. He’s either thinking about me and what I want, how I feel, or how to continue to court me. I am only thinking about him when I make time for him and I am with him. If I cancel a class, a trip, family events, or anything that is important to ME just because I want to accommodate my life for his, that’s where I am wrong and he cannot be blamed. It’s important that when you get with someone that they are an addition to your life and not the main focus so that if and when it is time to let them go, you do not feel so deeply hurt that you cannot get over them.
Where I am at in life with dating, I only entertain men who heavily invest in me and spoil me to death. When I decide we are no longer a good match and it’s time to detach, I do not feel like my time is wasted because I was treated so well and I gained a lot from dating them whether it was gifts, money, knowledge, connections, experiences, I am always left off better than when they first met me. It may still sting to break up, but it does not deeply hurt and take more than a few weeks to fully move on.
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cozy-fish-crow · 1 year
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folks had told me that transitioning helps you experience gender euphoria, and i've finished my medical transitioning and got that! but more intensely i have nothing to be dysphoric about and it is good but mostly it feels very strange. i feel like talking about my transition journey so you (and future me when i'm reminiscing) can see where i'm coming from.
this being my transition life story it's long as an oarfish, so TL;DR: my transition goals were soft androgyny, i had some difficulties, but successfully medically transitioned. but all i've known for over a decade is my dysphoria and i'm finding it hard to adjust to the lack of dysphoria. not in a "regret" way but more like "i can't believe i finally have the body i thought i would have" way. but just as amazing is i can imagine myself being alive, something i didn't have much of before.
and i think that's neat.
a little bit about my identity: i'm a nonbinary transperson; going deeper i'm agender and transneutral (going even deeper it's Space Whale Amongst Space Dust). my gender expression is androgynous, which for me looks like a soft round face, a blocky torso of "friend shaped", switching between pants and skirts (love a good clothes swish), and doing whatever i feel like with my hair.
i only had two things i experienced dysphoria about: my voice and my chest.
pre-puberty i thought my voice would deepen. it didn't.
pre-puberty i hoped my breasts wouldn't grow to be ridiculously huge. it did.
i was extremely distressed that i lost my androgny from my childhood. but also i thought it wouldn't matter much anyways cause i was gonna die when i turned 18. to keep everyone else from worrying about me, i still made 5 year plans or whatever but internally i felt it silly.
in one of my monthly breast self-checks, i found a cyst. of course i panicked, but once i calmed down i thought, "this is it!! this is breast cancer and they're gonna have to remove both of my breasts and then i'm going to die at 18 from cancer!!"
i didn't die, nor was it cancer. sometimes cysts Just Happen. still thought i was going to spontaneously die though. still didn't.
so here i am living, struggling to be positive about my body before accepting a grudging neutrality. then i figured out i was trans, started socially transitioning despite my family's protests, and hit a major roadblock in medical transitioning (my parents). this is what i consider the "worst mental wellbeing era" and Ides of March saved my life. thank you senators for murdering Caesar and tumblr for making memes about it, you startled me out of a bad decision <3
couple years later i got financial freedom and began the journey for HRT (lowest dose T cream). i didn't want to experience changes too quickly because my medical transition goal is neutral, not masculine or feminine. in a few months i achieved a voice that is "deep for a woman" and "high for a man" and i thought, "perfect! i love this."
then i went off low dose T to avoid other permanent changes. i tell ya it was not comfortable having the fat redistribution to and fro;; but soon i was back to my hips that can perfectly hold a pelican (speaking from experience)! i do have exercises for building up my shoulders though. wide shoulders are nice~
with my voice achieved and more money, i started the process for top surgery! i was shocked at how easy (but expensive) it is when you pay for most everything yourself (i believe there is a way to request reimbursement from my insurance but i'm So Tired). i made clear my goals (flat enough to go without a bra but still match that i'm fat). i flew 3,000 miles to the clinic and then they did that!!
thanks to years of saying i'm hot/cute, i do think i look good but now i also look accurate. and speak in a voice that is mine!! i should feel great, and i do, but also all i've known for over a decade is this weight on my chest (both literally and figuratively haha). i find it hard to adjust, not in a "regret" way but more like "i can't believe i finally have the body i thought i would have" way... that is, when i remember that it wasn't like this for the last 10+ years.
see in a very "classic Milo" way, i keep forgetting i got top surgery. when i see my flat chest i'm like "yea that makes sense" but when i see my scars i'm like "wHAT HAPPENED- oh, oh right!" not sure how that will change in the future but i do think it's kinda funny.
and another amazing thing? i can now imagine myself being alive at 28, 38, heck even 48 and beyond!!!!! before my egg cracked my future self was a vague figure, once i figured i was trans it was very short-term focused (surviving day by day until i can get what i want), and now i can solidly see me in possible future scenarios... that's amazing ah.
i am looking forward to living it.
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twinkleallnight · 2 years
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CROSSROADS
Hello everyone! I am alive. That's what you feel when you write after almost one year. This is my submission for @choicesprompts hosted by @angelasscribbles and@dcbbw . A big shoutout for both these ladies who held my hand as i took baby steps into the writing arena again.
I would also like to announce a Tag-list clean up because I have recently resurrected so there may be people who moved on. Totally fine. Please drop in a reply or message if you want to be tagged. I am going to tag only few in this who have peeped in to check on me past few months.
Book: RoE and TRR crossover
Characters: Leo, Katie
Word count: 1608
Disclaimer: All characters belong to pixelberry.
Rating: Mature
Warning: Angst?
Prompt: @choicesprompt appears in italics.
This is in future. Leo left the cruise and Katie married William. She had no idea who Leo really is.
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The cool wind pushes my hair back as I walk along the familiar path, every step taking me deeper into the past. It’s been years since I’ve been here; everything is different.
Everything is the same.
I’m not paying attention to the present as I walk, I’m too lost in memories of long ago. That’s why I don’t notice the person walking towards me until I hear a familiar voice call my name.
I freeze. It can’t be. What are the odds?
I lift my head as my eyes dart wildly around before finally landing on a face I’d recognize anywhere, even now.
“It’s you.”
“Surprise, surprise.” He shrugs his shoulders, his hands tucked in the pockets of his jacket. His attire looks expensive and pretty stylish unlike I saw him last time. One thing that hasn’t changed is his looks. Against the backdrop of the Acropolis, his charming smile seems unaltered even after fourteen years.
“What are you doing here?” I can not hide the excitement in my voice.
“Well, I told you when we first met, I belong to a small island here. In fact, I should be asking you, what are you doing here?”
“I came with my husband.” I wince inside. I should have skipped that detail.
“William Sloan.”
My eyes widen, “You know?”
He gives his signature smile and brings up the past casually. “When you are waiting for someone and that someone walks away with another man, right in front of your eyes, you know.”
“I am sorry Leo, but…”
He raises his hand cutting me mid sentence, “That’s absolutely fine, Katie. You made your choice. Everyone has the right to. I made mine.”
“Not all choices turn out to be right decisions, do they?” My eyes search his with some hope. What was I thinking?
“You are not happy with William.” Instead of asking, he just makes a statement. As if he knows it all. How does he always know everything?
“How can you say that?” I jut out my jaw defensively.
“Well, I see you walking all alone in the ruins of Acropolis brooding to yourself.”
“Even you are alone.” I try to prove my point. Mistake!
“I never said I am alone. I am with someone.”
“There you go again. Always talking in puzzles and keeping an air of mystery around you.”
“I know I did not reveal my true identity to you on that cruise. But I did plan to tell you everything that night at Captain’s Ball. If only, you would have…..” his voice trails off.
My thoughts drift to that night for a moment. If only…. I had chosen Leo, we would be walking hand in hand now, there would be a life to be happy about, some love to hold me maybe, and a child perhaps! But I cannot let Leo know that. I try to protest.
“I chose William, because he had a stable business, he would have understood my inheritance and my family background.” Why am I trying to argue?
Leo chuckles, “I must say, your inheritance and his business together must be a perfect formula for a happy life then.”
“At least I am not roaming around the roads on a motorbike like a nomad.” I say with a bite in my tongue. As if hurting him will relieve my pain.
“You are right. But sometimes wandering helps find the aim of your life. Sometimes getting out of your rich robes helps to understand the struggles in a life of a common man.”
“Rich robes, huh?” I fan out my hands gesturing at his clothes. “Mr President was surveying the life of commoners. Did you make some great amendments to the law?” I ask sarcastically.
“I can say proudly, I did.” He swells up his chest with pride.
“So, you are a President? Of Timbuktu?”
He gives out a hearty laugh, his head falling back. It’s infectious. I find myself smiling at my own joke, with him.
After a moment, he is suddenly serious and closes the distance between us. I can see his eyes turning to a darker shade of blue. When he is an inch away, he tilts his head, his gaze piercing, he questions, “What happened to the girl who followed the rules?”
My eyes well up and I break the eye contact, looking far away at a distant lone pillar. “Rules don’t work always. Sometimes they ruin what we have.”
“Then make your own new rules.”
I look at him puzzled.
“Come, let’s walk.” He gestures at the narrow muddy track with rocks on either side. I quietly follow.
“Katie, you had love in your life but the next moment you had a lot of money as an inheritance and no love. Yet you kept going.” He stops and admires me, “Even when life was unfair, you never lost hope.”
Is it me? It sounds like he is talking about someone I knew a long time ago. He starts walking again and I trudge along.
“You paved your own path. You bent some rules and faced the challenge thrown at you.” He halts again and turns towards me. “And you know what the best part was?”
I keep looking at him quizzically. He gives a wide smile before speaking again.
“In the short time I spent with you, I saw the bond you shared with your family. You ran back to them even after all the hardships. That Katie, was a lesson for me. I am glad I met you. You played an important role in my decisions and that made me what I am today.”
“I helped you?” I ask him in disbelief.
“You did! I learnt it from you.”
I flay my arms away. “No, no, no! it wasn’t supposed to be like this. I am not the Katie you knew once.” I hide my face in my hands.
Leo holds my wrists and pulls down my hands. “Look at me, Katie. Even I am not the same adventurous crazy guy.”
I raise my damp eyes meeting his gaze. He is still holding my hands in his. “The man you met long time ago was a person running away from his responsibilities, abandoning his people because he was too weak to fight against the wrongs. But meeting you made it all right for me. I carried back the memories of you, your determination to make things right, your spirit to keep it bright.”
I shake my head unable to take it all. I feel the pain I have been through. William has been through. The hurdles we tried to overcome and, in the bargain, falling apart. “I am sure you didn’t have to break the rules and hurt someone to do it all.”
“Katie, you were the one who refused to accept the rules that would harm your dear ones.” He holds my shoulders, as if waking me from my slumber, “If you are done sulking over few lost moments, get up again. If you did it once you can do it again. If you could bring a change in a person like me, you can change anything.”
“I can?”
“Only you can.”
We walk in silence along the track for sometime. He gives me time to mull over my thoughts and to revive back. We come to the part where the narrow lane meets the main atrium.
“Do you still ride on a motorbike?” My curiosity speaks out.
“No.” he grins. “I have had my share of exploration.”
“Guess your expedition gave quite a direction to your life.”
“Much more. I learnt to be a better person and embrace what I have.”
“And yet you stand alone here. Just like me?”
“As a matter of fact, I am not.” He looks at the ground as if he is trying to decide whether to tell or not. Eventually, he points at a young boy in a distance. A tall graceful lady stands with him, their backs towards us. They are busy discussing something looking at the pillars around. “I came here with my wife and son. He wanted to see this place. Curious little archaeologist in making there.” Leo’s blue eyes shine proudly as he fondly talks about his son.
My heart sinks again. He has what I wished for. A family. A family that stays together. Suddenly, I want to hide away all the sadness in my life. I don’t want him to know how empty my life is.
“So, the mystery man does have a family. Good for you.”
“Thanks to you. You see my wife, Madeleine. I was running away from one who had loved me all my life just because I was burdened with unwanted responsibilities that meant doing things that were against my principles.”
“Who are you?” I know him more today yet I don’t know him.
He smiles, “Lets keep that conversation for the next time. Today when I saw a gloomy Katie treading through these rocks, I felt the urge to come and remind her who she really is. What she can really do. And how many lives she has touched. That’s all you need to know and focus on for today. Leave me where I was and take your next step ahead. Life is waiting for you. He waved walking away from me.
I turn to face the setting sun and face my world. With newly restored courage, with newly found aim, with new hope.
I grab my phone and dial to hear the voice that has soothed me most all these years.
“Hello, Katie?”
“William…..” I do what I did the best. Rekindle the love. Get back home.
Tags: @alj4890 @anjanettexcordonia @bascmve01 @busywoman @charlotteg234 @cordonia-gothqueen @cordonian-literature @drakewalker04 @ficloverevie @gkittylove99 @krsnlove @hopefulmoonobject @hopelessromanticmonie @kat-tia801 @indiacater @phoenixrising308 @sfb123 @nestledonthaveone @kingliam2019 @neotericthemis @ntoraplayschoices @princess-geek @princessleac1 @secretaryunpaid @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @txemrn @theroyalheirshadowhunter @aestheticartsx @yourmajesty09 @mainstreetreader @choiceskatie @claireloutoo @tessa-liam @tinkie1973 @mom2000aggie @sincerelyella @brightpinkpeppercorn @karahalloway @harleybeaumont
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tarot questions: the magician, the moon, the lovers, the empress.
Ah, a romantic Anon! Let me do my best to answer these questions with my absolute dearth of romantic feelings or experience…
The Magician: Have you ever written a poem or song about somebody else?
Yes, but never ones I’d show to anyone else (subject of the poem or otherwise).
Unless you count this poem I wrote about Chris Pine when I was 12:
I pine for Chris Pine!
I want him to be mine!
I think he’s rather fine,
And really quite divine!
And when the stars align,
Chris Pine will be mine!
And when I learn he’s taken…
I WHINE ABOUT CHRIS PINE!!!
That’s so far in the past at this point that it’s circled back from being cringey and embarrassing to being…well, still cringey and embarrassing, but I can laugh about it and share it with others. (And even then I wasn’t writing it completely in earnest—it was meant to be funny and badly-written.)
The Moon: Have you ever written a love letter?
Nope. Never really had occasion or reason to. (Not even fan mail to Chris Pine!)
The Lovers: Do you have a crush?
Yes! He’s tall, and dark-haired, and has a lovely low voice, and he’s 27 years old (a little old for me, I know), and he works as a bounty hunter in space and his name’s Spike Spiegel and…
Okay, fine. In all seriousness, no. I’ve had lots of fictional and celebrity crushes (Chris Pine among them!), but never a crush on a real, attainable person. And anyway, looking back, I feel like a lot of those fictional and celebrity crushes were actually just obsessive/hyperfixation feelings I wasn’t sure how to label. Like, I don’t think I actually had a crush on Harry Potter at age 10, I think I was just obsessed with the Harry Potter series in general.
The Empress: Do you think you will ever get married?
Oh, God. Uh. Maybe????
I would love to get married and start a family someday. I read romance novels or watch rom-coms and it just makes me want a partner, if only to feel all the happy romantic feelings I’ve been missing out on. I watch the happy little kids on Bluey or read parenting magazines/advice columns (a weird hobby of mine) and it reiterates to me how much I’d like to raise children someday, even though I’m terrified of the possibility of messing them up. I do want that in my future. (I don’t necessarily want to have sex or be pregnant, though; if I do have kids, I plan to adopt them.)
BUT, right now, marriage isn’t really something I can envision. Getting married to someone typically necessitates falling in love first, right? And I’ve never even had a crush, much less fallen in love, much less had someone I could call a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner or initiated a kiss. And sometimes this worries me—like I’m losing track of the trajectory to Adulthood™️ and at this rate I won’t find a life partner at the Normal, Expected Adult Age™️. I mean, obviously, as I said in the tags of this post, I’m not expecting to have found the one when I’m only 20, but haven’t most people my age had at least one relationship or crush? Felt something? Haven’t they at least had some practice?
But the thing is…as I currently understand it, romance, or those “happy romantic feelings I’ve been missing out on,” isn’t something you can control. You can’t turn it on and off at will like a faucet; you can’t just decide to have romantic feelings for someone. Trust me, if I could, I would have! This is why my current conception of my sexual identity is “asexual???????”, complete with all those question marks—maybe the clichés are right and I am just a late bloomer, or I haven’t found the right person yet.
And I hate the idea of spending the rest of my life waiting, and waiting, and waiting for that ever-elusive and possibly nonexistent “right person” to come along; trying to get those romantic feelings (that sound so wonderful in books!) to stir up in me when I’m not sure they even can. But at the same time, I don’t want to completely cut off the possibility of romance in my future, or just have a marriage of convenience/for tax benefits. And I never, ever, ever want someone to pressure me into doing romantic or sexual things with them after I have made it very clear that I don’t feel that way. Never.
So I guess all I can do for now is keep reading those romance novels, and wonder, and wait.
[Tarot Questions]
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noa-ciharu · 1 year
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Fuuma!!! (If possible both X and TRC)
Aww the horniest man alive with kinkshaming kink 🥺
Since some things overlap (like gender and sexuality thing for example), I'll write some for all versions and some separately for X and TRC
Sexuality headcanon:
Clamp never stated it out loud but is it really up for debate? Boy is gay af. He literally can't keep hands and tongue off Kamui, literally there's no universe where he's not all over Kamui. Plus in X he was collecting sad twinks like pokemon cards so there it goes, gay af
Gender headcanon:
I don't have any really. Nothing ever lead me to think he's not cis male.
OTP:
Fuukam. I don't really ship Fuuma seriously with anyone else. I guess I could bang ship him with some other X male characters (like one night stands simply for the thrill) but I can't ship him romantically with them. Just Kamui
In TRC I can't even see those bang ship options. So again, just Kamui.
Actually you know what? He can have harem of Kamuis. That's actually why Fuuma is traveling universes, clamp just confirmed it to me in a dream 😌
BROTP:
His interactions with Seishirou in X were hilarious. I'd pay to watch Fuuma bother Seishirou everyday by looking like Subaru, rip off his wallet and crash at his place (and eat food) when Seishirou's not home. It'll be funny af to see their evil bastard convos where Fuuma's all 😏 #kinkshaming 😈 and Seishirou 😎 on surface but privately being like 'when will this kid leave me alone. Is this karma? 😟 will he stop looking like my prey while licking on that icecream so sensually? Ah what's with that smirk and - ah, he's kinkshaming me again 😑'
In trc I guess also with Seishirou since they're bastard brothers there. I'd so want to see shenanigans on beach and Fuuma surfing with Kurogane's arm while Seishirou is swimming in his priest outfit because god forbid anyone saw his younger brother has more shoulders. Also I'd so want to see Fuuma's and Kurogane's interactions, it'll be hilarious af to see Kuro being irked by Fuuma's fake smiles and carefree behavior.
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Fuuma plz I got second hand embarrassment
NOTP:
Actually none? I mean I bet someone could come up with paring that'll make me go wtf but I'm yet to see it
Random headcanon:
X: ever since turning into antichrist, Fuuma sometimes keeps eye on Kamui from afar. Of course Kamui has no clue and Fuuma has no plan of using informations obtained while stalking to his gain. He doesn't even have malicious intent, he just deep down yearns for Kamui so much that sometimes he's unable to stay away. Fuuma knows their relationship is barely holding by threads and thay he can't just waltz up to Kamui and ask him how his day is going. He knows he must be strong and endure separation for sake of future and having Kamui go through realizations of his own.
Still, deep down Fuuma is aware of his own humanity. He can't stop the ache, he can't stop irrational yearning. So he watches from afar
TRC: since he's constantly on a run and travelling through dimensions alone, Fuuma sometimes worries about losing sense of identity. He barely forms long lasting bonds with people and has no family, hence feeling lonely and lost from time to time is inevitable. There's noone to reaffirm that something really happened and isn't fragment of his imagination
Hence in every world he settles in Fuuma purchases and finds trinkets on his own. Form older necklaces to compasses and ancient clock to even gemstones. Something that stores memories and reminders him of world he's been in and people he formed fleething conections with.
General opinion on said character:
X: I think Fuuma might be little underrated in fandom? Sure there are other side characters, but he's a main character and actually very very complex ar core. But I guess it comes down to fandom scratching their heads about his motives and what happened to him since that part is never explained in manga. We all have our headcanons and possible explanations but who knows what clamp has planned. Still, compared to Kamui, Seishirou and Subaru, I don't see TB/X fandom outside my mutuals circle talk about him very often...
Trc (and late X):
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funkymbtifiction · 1 year
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Hey, Charity! Could I be an ENP? Or am I overestimating my Ne? If it helps, I’m either an enneagram 9 or a 6 - leaning towards 6, tho. Thanks :)
I’m not indecisive, but I like to keep my options open. If something better show up, I won’t mind leaving things behind, even if they’re unfinished. I like to “feel” that I’m choosing the right thing, though, since I’m afraid of making mistakes. Does my anxiety makes me second guess my feelings? Yes. I’m either right about things or completely wrong, no in between. I don’t consider myself a doer, thinking about things is usually enough for me. I hate to be alone with my thoughts and I’d rather have someone to discuss them with. If I like a certain subject, I’ll enjoy discussing everything there’s to know about it with my friends. I easily classify things as good/bad and have to push myself to see the tones of grey. I’ll defend what I believe in if I think it’s worth it to do so. I’d say that I’m somewhat “me” focused, since I’m constantly aware of my emotional state, focused on figuring my identity out and may act like my feelings are the most important thing in the room. My logic is internal. I draw conclusions by myself and then compare them to external facts to decide what’s true or not. Do I think about the future? Yes and No. I like to idealize the future, feeding my brain with possible scenarios that’d be fun if they became true. But my decisions are made based on what I’m feeling at the present. I don’t think “oh, this will fit perfectly with my 10 year life plan.” I’d rather go with the flow than planning for years ahead. I only make short term plans (a few days from now maybe). At my worst, I become a hypochondriac and a worrywart. I’m suddenly afraid that I won’t be able to “live” anymore if something bad happens to me. When I feel this way, I need to push myself outside and do things to keep me distracted. Stay at home dwelling and worrying may be tempting, but won’t do me any good.
Contradictory traits: I’m seen as the “responsible one” in my friend group, since I’m the one who usually reminds people things like “we should leave now, otherwise we’re gonna be late and x is counting on us”. I wouldn’t say that I like to control people, but sometimes I feel the need to push them to avoid problems. My family constantly mentions how much I’m alike my STJ father. Both of us are organized, methodical, realiable and a little bit too blunt with our words. My ENFP friend and I constantly discuss about my type and she doesn’t think I’m idealistic enough to have high Ne. She has these big and unchangeable goals ever since she was a teenager and she hates when other people come around to explain how “reality” works. Meanwhile, I’ve changed my mind dozens of times about my future, having tons of ideas I’ve never followed through. I also like to consider new povs, especially when the advice comes from people I respect. A little bit of realism won’t hurt, it’ll only mean that I’ll be prepared for what’s ahead.
You sound like an ENFP, yes. You give good arguments for Ne, Fi, weak Te, and nominal Si (not finishing things, abandoning them, changing your mind and dreams all the time, being blunt and fearful of stagnation). But... that your “ENFP” friend has had “big and unchangeable goals” since she was a teenager probably rules out Ne-dom for her. It sounds more like a judging type or Ni in her stack (NJ). Ne is as you describe it -- always changing, always pursuing what’s interesting in the moment, rarely sticking to one dream for your life, starting in on things and losing interest and abandoning them. You have the Ne, lol.
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chicken-fifi · 1 year
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BTS Reaction - Them as Dads
Requested by @lelewright1234: Hello my friend, I hope that you are having a good day! 😊 Well, For my first request, I wanted to see if you could do a headcanon with BTS x short black!reader (Short meaning like 5’2 in height and who’s from America with Trinidad and Tobago Caribbean roots/culture which includes the accent,food and of course Soca Carnival) who they date, want to marry and have children with in the future? ( You can choose how many kids each of them should have!)
A/N: I ended up being quite vague with a lot of the description of the culture specified because I wasn't able to do any research to fully understand the culture and make it accurate, without making any assumptions. I also didn't want to offend anyone by using the accent without understanding the identity that it brings and creates for some people. In the future (time allowing), I will do a better job of being able to portray cultures and such with proper knowledge to make sure this blog is as inclusive as I can make it.
Jin: Seokjin has stated (at least according to what I have previously read) that he wants three kids (2 boys, 1 girl) and I think that will probably be a good medium. He tried his hardest to teach them your culture when you aren't around as well as his own. Sometimes he'll opt to do this through cooking and that can either go surprisingly well or be an epic failure. When it comes to discipline, he does what he can when he can, and then consults with you to see if there are any gray areas or things that you two may not agree on to find a middle ground. He does have a tendency to spoil them - especially when it comes to food.
"Don't tell Mommy I gave you that alright?"
Suga: While Yoongi had originally thought that one son would be good enough, a surprise baby comes along and evens out your family. The two kids have a rather large age gap so sometimes he can accidentally lash out at one or the other for various reasons - especially if he goes from disciplining one to another for the same thing over and over. He does his best to work on that and owns up to his mistakes, apologizing to both boys when he's in the wrong. He's a quiet dad, but that doesn't mean he's not involved. He'll silently listen in and then surprise them with things they like or give his two cents when they're in the wrong with you. He respects them and they respect him.
"I shouldn't have lashed out like that. My feelings are not your feelings and I need to work on that. Can I hug you as an apology?"
J-Hope: Hoseok (2 boys and 2 girls) has the tendency to be the dad that is more of a friend. That being said, he knows when he needs to be Dad and discipline them. As much as he wants to be able to play with them after a long day in the studio, if you mention that they weren't on their best behavior and they didn't improve throughout the day, he follows through with your discipline plan. He does his best to promote your culture in the household, doing his best to learn about different things and teach them as best as he can.
"Hey bud, Mom told me you had a rough day. Do you wanna talk about?"
RM: Namjoon is also a mixture of friend and father. His kids however will tend to view him as needing more protection than them (seeing as the God of Destruction has broken more than a few things in their presence). They often end up teaching him more about your culture than he teaches them. If they were on Return of Superman together, you can expect a lot of laughs and memorable moments. As for discipline, it hurts him to follow through most of the time, but he knows he needs to have a stern way and help them see why something isn't acceptable to do.
"Don't tell Mom I broke the vase."
Jimin: I can just see Jimin singing to his kids on the reg. That and he's always smiling around them no matter what. They probably prefer him most of the time but that doesn't mean they don't love you. He does his best to be present and has a discipline plan that the two of you can get behind to show you have a united front. He loves attempting to cook with them - especially if it's trying to make one of your favorite foods. He loves learning with and from them so much too.
"How about we make Mom's favorite for dinner as a surprise?"
V: With Taehyung, I just know that he's gonna be that dad that plays with his kids using his full body. He may not be the most flexible, but he will give it his all for his kids, letting them use him as their personal jungle gym. There's never a quiet moment with them. They're always smiling, laughing, and having so much fun. But he also knows when he needs to be stern and firm with them. It may break his heart to discipline them sometimes, but he knows it needs to be done.
"We can't bite people. Because you bit your sister you aren't going to play with us right now."
Jungkook: Surprisingly enough for me, I see Jeongguk as a stricter parent for some reason. Like he does have freedom with his kids and plays and has so much fun with them, don't get me wrong. But he also makes sure that they know you two are the ones in charge and that you two have made certain rules for a reason. That there are certain things that they shouldn't do because they can hurt someone or make someone upset. He's big on letting them be their own persons and nurturing their interests, but he's also big on making sure that he's preparing them for the real world.
"How do you think that makes your sister feel when you hit her? Would like it if she hit you?"
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myletternevercame · 2 years
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Good Sci-Fi
A list for @onebatch2batch by me, an expert*
This list will be in no particular order but faves are probably near the top for the most part. But also my brain cannot be trusted to recall things in order of importance so who knows. WE BEGIN
The Imperial Radch trilogy by Ann Leckie (Ancillary Justice, Ancillary Sword, Ancillary Mercy)
These are probably my favorite books of all time. The last remaining part of a sentient warship seeks revenge on the dictator who ruined her life. Single POV. Fascinating look at the relationship between language and gender identity. A study on personhood. Plus found family! THE BEST FUCKING BOOKS EVER I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT THESE.
The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells (All Systems Red, Artificial Condition, Rogue Protocol, Exit Strategy, Network Effect, Fugitive Telemetry)
A security android has hacked its governor module but continues to do a half-assed version of its job so it can stay under the radar and watch tv shows. An attack reveals its rogue status to its current employers. Trouble ensues. Single POV. This one is also a study on personhood. Murderbot is fucking hilarious and SO relatable - it has anxiety and depression and struggles with its existence. All of these except Network Effect are novellas, so they are super quick reads.
The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir (Harrow the Ninth, Gideon the Ninth, Nona the Ninth [out this September, I am dying from the wait], Alecto the Ninth [due sometime next year??? *grabby hands*])
Lesbian necromancers in space! This one is more space magic than hard sci-fi but it’s so fucking good. Gideon is the dumb jock lesbian of my dreams. She is rough and tumble and funny as fuck. Harrow is MEAN and I love her so much. The first book is as much a murder mystery as anything else. The second book is uhhhhh… no idea how to describe it without some pretty massive spoilers so. Just take my word for it that these are so so good. First book is single POV iirc.
NeoG series by K.B. Wagers (A Pale Light in the Black, Hold Fast Through the Fire, third book tba?)
Space Coast Guard! Multiple POV, very diverse cast of characters, big mystery to solve, all framed around like… the space military Olympics. I know that sounds weird lmao but TRUST ME ITS GOOD OK. If you read this and like it, the author has another sci-fi universe that she wrote two completed trilogies in, but I’ve only read the first of those trilogies. Not quite as good as NeoG but still worth a read! I’m still planning on reading the second trilogy one of these days.
The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers (Wayfarers series)
This is the first of a series but I haven’t gotten around to the other books (I think she’s up to four now??? I need to get on that). Follows the crew of a spaceship whose job is to take the long way to a planet so they can put a wormhole gate there so no one else has to take the long way. Another ensemble cast, including aliens and AIs as well as humans.
The Martian by Andy Weir
I hope you’ve seen the movie too but the book is so fun! Hard sci-fi at its most approachable. Astronaut Mark Watney is stranded alone on Mars when his team’s mission is cut short. He has to survive on his own against impossible odds. Multi POV.
The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling
Spelunking! Ok this book made me Very Tense so like. You’ve been warned. Unreliable narrator is working her way through a cave system and the only person she has (radio) contact with is just straight up unreliable. I am terrified of caves lmao why did I read this. But it was very good! Single POV.
Native Tongue by Suzette Haden Elgin
It has been forever since I read this but I remember being fascinated by it. Set in a future where there are huge families that make up the Translators, basically clan-guilds of humans who raise their children in tandem with alien children (multiple species) so they all grow up fluent in both the alien language and their native earth language. Interesting but also kind of horrifying situation wrt body autonomy because they need more and more kids to keep up with all of the different alien species. Maybe don’t read right now if you’re feeling stressed about current body politics. I think it’s multi POV but again, it’s been like, a decade since I read this. It was required reading for the feminist sci-fi class I took in college.
The Machineries of Empire series by Yoon Ha Lee (Ninefox Gambit, Raven Strategem, Revenant Gun)
Full disclosure I have yet to make it through the third book, oops. But the first book is SO FUCKING GOOD and the space magic system is like mind-bending and fascinating. In a universe where mass adherence to a specific calendar allows technologies to work, heretical calendars are a big problem. When the Fortress of Scattered Needles is taken by heretics, it threatens to destroy the entire empire’s system, so calendrical mathematics prodigy Kel Cheris is chosen to lead the siege of the fortress and bring it back into the fold. She gets to pick one weapon from the arsenal to take with her, so she chooses the ghost of General Jedao. The good news is that Jedao never lost a battle. The bad news is, he’s the worst war criminal the empire has ever seen. Multiple POV. The series was written by a trans man during and after his transition, which is pretty clearly reflected in the writing, so it’s an interesting read from that perspective as well as the interesting sci-fi going on.
Paradox trilogy by Rachel Bach (Fortune’s Pawn, Honor’s Knight, Heaven’s Queen)
Badass mercenary Deviana Morris has one goal: make a name for herself as a merc so she can make it to the Devastators, the elite guard of her home planet’s god-king. All she has to do is survive one year working security on the Glorious Fool. Too bad the captain is cursed and most mercs don’t last a month, let alone 12! These are very fun and light reads. Single POV iirc.
Okay I could probably keep going but this is already really long and I think it’ll keep you busy for a while. Please report back with your opinions!
*my credentials are: I read a lot of sci-fi
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emsquig · 1 year
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if you fail to plan, you plan to fail strategy sets the scene for the tale i'm the wind in our free-flowing sails and the liquor in our cocktails.
{pinterest/spotify/bio}
BASIC STATS
full name: emma claire squiggle
nicknames: squiggle, em
pronouns and gender identity: she/her, trans woman
sexuality: bisexual
birthday: 15 january, 1956 (capricorn sun, aquarius moon, sagittarius rising)
age: 30 years old
career: investigative journalist at the daily prophet
languages: english, spanish (mother's first language)
virtues: driven, intelligent, confident
vices: narcissistic, exacting, guarded
character inspos: paris geller (gilmore girls), blair waldorf (gossip girl), villanelle (killing eve)
MAGIC
house: ravenclaw
wand: elm wood with a core of phoenix feather, 10.5 inches and rigid. a truly dignified wand that would not easily be swayed from it's beliefs, just like it's owner.
boggart: it's her in the future, sporting sweatpants and deep circles under her eyes, with three screaming children hanging off of her. her friends had laughed the first time she'd seen it (your worst fear is being a mum??) but she knew that it meant a life of wasted potential, of falling into a role she wasn't born to play.
amortentia: ink from her quill, heady and familiar. the almost sickeningly sweet smell of gardenias as they grew outside her family home in the summer. the smooth, dark bite of good whiskey.
patronus: a hippogriff. she's only managed to cast the spell a handful of times, but she hasn't spent a lot of time trying. emma tended towards practical magic. anything further seemed like a waste of time to learn- emma knew her value was in her mind, not in her wand.
QUICK HCS:
emma throws a great party- the perfect balance of a classy affair and a rager.
her parents had her in piano lessons from the age of three- she doesn't have the passion to be truly great but she did achieve technical perfection
she is the master of the passive aggressive insult
her love language is telling you "oh, i just finished a book i think you'll love, let me give you my copy" and then writing a little inscription on the first page
she can be very tactful when she wants- she has a persuasive air around her perfect for getting a story out of an unwilling source- but she finds it takes too much energy and outside of a professional context she's much more likely to be uncomfortably blunt.
WANTED CONNECTIONS- more to be added!
"how'd we end up on the floor, anyway?" you say: a ride or die best friend, a come over uninvited with wine best friend, a trading eyerolls across the room best friend.
trick me once, trick me twice: emma can be ruthless when getting a scoop- in the pursuit of the story, she hurt this muse and they hold a grudge.
he wanted it comfortable, i wanted that pain: your classic ex connect! open to all genders- maybe there's hard feelings and maybe there aren't, but this muse thought emma was far too in love with her work to ever really love someone else. would love some variants too- maybe someone she dumped, maybe ex-FWBs, ect.
my knuckles were bruised like violets: friend breakups are worse than romantic breakups- emma's never had a hard time dumping her partners, but she still sometimes wants to call this person and tell them about her day.
i don't start shit-: emma can't say she's spent a lot of time thinking about her views on blood purity, but she has spent a good bit of time writing about how other people view it. this person affiliated with the order thinks that with her influence, emma could be a good recruit for the order- even though emma couldn't be less interested.
-but i can tell you how it ends: the bad influence counterpart to the above good influence connect! she is a pureblood, from a nouveau riche family, in a 5 year relationship with augustus rookwood- this person thinks it might be a good time for emma to give her talents to the death eaters.
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