#i have nothing appropriate to say
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my legs are taking inspiration from my parents and divorcing actually!
#lucy bronze#lucy bronze x reader#lucy bronze imagine#i need her biblically#i mean in ways that are bad for feminism#the blonde is doing many things for me actually#i have nothing appropriate to say#no thoughts just her#lionesses#woso
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It’s that time of the day again!
A little appreciation post for Misha’s hands
Even Jensen’s hand looks tiny there
Thank you to the person on Pinterest that put together that image
And an honorable mention of the booty
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carly (12.4.23)
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y’all moved on but mentally i’m here.
????
the tone clarity?? the intonation?? the placement?? singing an [e] vowel on a low d and projecting it??? get her singing rachmaninoff mama she will EAT !!!!
#choralposting on main again but LIKE ???#let him SING !!!#not even discussing any visual elements of this as i have nothing appropriate to say#michael sheen#far from the madding crowd
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daily fave nick 🤍
#nicholas ruffilo#nick ruffilo#bad omens#bad omens band#bad omens cult#nicky#daily nick#i have nothing appropriate to say :)
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Like the whole 'living at home in your 20s means you don't gotta do anything' trend needs to die. Sometimes I go into dads room with the ENTIRE PURPOSE of asking dad if I can make him something for dinner lol. Some of you just have zero want to take care of family. Couldn't be me, im making him a grilled cheese just cause he asked if and said he doesn't feel well lol
#I’m not saying this as a child who thinks they HAVE to take care of fam#but man I love my dad yeah I’ll make him food for no reason other than move#than love wtf you on that you can’t help cool di#cook dinner#this ain’t even about not loving your fam#some of you just take advantage of them to an unhealthy degree and both sides make jokes over it#like maybe it’s just me and fam casue our love language is gifts and as#acts if service#but nothing makes me happier than to see his happy grin and just pleased love when I make him dinner just for him#we’re both picky eaters too#sometimes our safe foods don’t#match. but we’ll still try and make something appropriate for the other if not amazing
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oh mama yes god.....
#i have nothing appropriate to say here. god im coming up dot jpg but on for HIM#crowley when baka siguro hindi ka nya pinaglaban dahil mukha kang kalaban 😔#good omens#ysa.txt
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Genuinely what the fuck was the point of the synths
#racism againsr enslaved black people pulling directly and openly from. actual slavery#but. also individualism and totalitarian/fascist government#but also this weird kinda. zombie apocalypse/red scare McCarthyism plot what with the oooh anyone could be a synth#but also something something evolved humans the only hope for humanity yadda yadda#what the hell is going on. pick one and run with it#AND DONT PICK THE SLAVERY PLOT FOR FUCKS SAKE#i have to go to bed but oooohghhh#WHY DO I LIKE THIS GAME#like#i see eugenics. thats like the only consistent thread that actually ties any of this shit together#but. ohgh#thjs isnt coherent im sorry i just. i cant#it hurts after all this time#WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT DESDEMONA THAT SHE LIKE.#FOR LACK OF BETTER TERM#APPROPRIATED THE UNDERGROUND RAILROAD AND THE CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT AND CIVIL WAR#WHAT DOES IT SAY#ANYTHING? NOTHING?
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neurodivergency moment on my part
#[.art]#self#saw one too many posts about 'tv autism versus irl autism' and You can acknowledge different ways it manifests without demeaning one of the#it's perfectly understandable to be upset at only seeing one stereotype in media. But in asking for more perhaps/#/don't act like no-one ever can act like that representation- especially for things such as these?#idk I'm tired of people saying ''Autstic People Can Have High Empathy! We're not all heartless bastards!'' like. girl#okay good for you? Others still struggle with the concept of empathy or sympathy#or like- the narrative that 'masking' is only a suppression of emotion (as in containing excitement for example) /#/when it can also be the other way around?#''masking'' can also entail pretending to be excited or sad or whatever emotion is appropriate#i don't know i don't know#I'm :/ at whatever I'm seeing of nd talking topos lately because I keep stumbling on the same few things over and over#and :///#Maybe I'm the one not being nuanced maybe I'm not getting it this isn't meant to be a discourse post. I would have worded it better otherwi#this is very much me complaining about something that mildly annoys me. And nothing else. It's not a statement.
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The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.
It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.
#red said#i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life#my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me#like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy.#anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is.#but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was#like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it#i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen.#I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles#and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences#and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma#obviously microtraumas build up but still.#then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma#is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING#told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip#and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain#until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position#and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific#and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with#like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex#out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage?#and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh#so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea#that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting.#like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.
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On the outside chance anyone is ever under the impression I'm in any way smart:
Laundry day. Doing a colour wash. There's a lot of green in there because I wear a lot of green apparently. Pull first item out of washing machine and get really sad because I've somehow turned my gorgeous yellow hoody a vague kind of pale green. Did I put new jeans in there by mistake? How have I managed this feat? I've done some weird shit but this is basically a miracle if it wasn't so sad. I loved that yellow hoody. It was so cheerful. And I love green a lot but. Why.
Takes me a full five minutes to realise I have a pale green hoody in addition to the yellow hoody. I check the rest of the drum.
My yellow hoody is still there, perfectly yellow as it's ever been.
#so it is decreed#about jay#adventures in adulthood#i'm 32. i have been doing my own laundry for at least half my life.#i used two colour catchers#genuinely didnt occur to me that id put two hoodies in#i like that i say laundry day like it's a regular occurrence#no it's just gotten to the point i have nothing but shorts and vests left to wear#and apparently that's nOt AppRoPrIatE foR ScOtLanD in JanUaRY
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GOD IM IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN
#grandprixbarzal#mat barzal#new york islanders#dear lord#ahhhhh#i have a lot to say but nothing appropriate enough for here#he’s so hot
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“Too patriotic?” “What a suck-up.” BOSTON LEGAL 4.14
#I have nothing appropriate to say about this.#kissing him Everywhere#james spader#alan shore#boston legal#*#this CUSTOM wetsuit was up for auction with some other blegal props a few years ago…….
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you know i must have been bone-tired when this part of the herb brides lore didn't come to my mind when i discussed how the Kin fundamentally differs from the cultures it is inspired by um There Is The Human Sacrifice part. like it's an important part of pathologic 2 that you are doing human, or anthropomorphic (if you want to see the Herb Brides as closer to spirits, which comes with its own set of problematics regarding how to approach their oppression) sacrifice. it's an important part of pathologic 2 that you kill a woman, as part of the journey and in direct resonance with you ritualistically killing cattle earlier, and she offers herself to you with cultural and religious significance.
human sacrifices have been done across the globe for millennia, but i cannot, for the life of me, find any source at all that mentions the Buryats (since that was the discussion point) partaking in human sacrifices by the turn of the 19th-early 20th century (or even anything past the 16th). every single source mentioning offerings and sacrifices i've read mentions animals, things such as milk and vodka, and often both at once. would love to read anything about these rituals if papers exist, but i'm personally drawing a blank.
the Kin has Obvious and very Visible influences but it also differs from specific (in this discussion's case, the Buryats) or wider (here, turkic/mongolic as a whole) cultures from the area by so many pieces, big and small, that i wouldn't have enough appendages on my whole body to count them all. and sister. i have plenty of appendages.
#i AM reading a paper that mentions the human sacrifices at Mongol burials where people (typically servants or family) would be sacrificed#to accompany the dead; as well as the Shor practice of sacrificing women/girls (replaced apparently quickly by sacrificing ducks)#but those seem pretty old [the Mongol part mentions the 13th century] & like. nothing about the buryats in that time period#i'm like 85% sure i saw in the beginning of being into patho someone saying how equating the Kin; who practice human sacrifices [& others]#to correlate/be meant to represent Real Life ethnicities is insulting because They Don't Do That.#and like. everythingggg that touches upon representation/appreciation/appropriation/theft is subjective and#informed my how much leeway you're willing to give the creators so that's like#bro i'm just reading PDFs#also just found out the discussion of ''The Kin Is Obviously Inspired But Not Meant To Represent [x]'' is over 2yrs old. we're still at it.#as anon said. ''unless you're tolkien; coming up with a whole fictional language is hard''.#anyways appendage time. stuff that differs just out of the top of my head:#everything relating to the religion which is almost a complete inverse of buryat tengrist/shamanic faith + don't get me started on buddhism#the clothes. the homes. the creation myths; beyond the apparition of Clay; which is present in so many cultures on earth#no swan ancestor. no lake worship. no sky/heavens. no tens of named hierarchical deities. NO BURBOT! no hats. no hats (burts into tears)#NO HORSES? ON THE EURASIAN STEPPE?#the belief that earth mustn't be cut is so buryat. i'm sure i've read it. no idea if it is also in other mongolic peoples but buryat it is.#also a bull-ancestor/bull totem. that exists in buryat tribes; but they also have a bunchhhhh of other sacred animals (including. swans.#also horses. there's this [charm?] made out of horse hair there is)#neigh (blabbers)#i'm realizin how crazy i sound repeating shit that has been said 2yrs ago but like someone already mentioned the human sacrifice.#someone already mentioned the clothes. someone already mentioned the yurts/gers. someone already mentioned the religion#like i'm just. repeating stuff. and yet. give it up for year 2
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you know, Idk if I have to say it, but, cut off those people who drain you. You shouldn’t always have to text first, your friendship shouldn’t end because you stopped talking.
And I know it sucks, that feeling of crippling loneliness. But when shit was absolutely the worst for me, when everything had fucking crashed and burned, I met a few people who finally reminded me what it meant to have someone care, and you’ll get it soon
#This is nothing like what I normally post but like#No genuinely. It fucking sucks and I may have been like#the most depressed I’ve been in my life#Fighting only the time I was with my ex for top place#But like. I’m also getting better. I only text like three people regularly but it’s better than having like#8 people who didn’t give a shit about me#And like#idk I think adhd makes you weak to just#wanting ANY kind of connection because otherwise you become absolutely bored and boredom is painful#The energy drain kills you#Also general red flag in people though I hate using that phrase#If someone won’t let you be in pain#watch out. When I dealt with someone manipulating an old friend into believing I was a horrible person a ‘friend’ slowly got annoyed at me#Trying to deal with it without ever offering help or advice#When someone’s first response to your pain is “oh my god will you shut up about that” they will not care about your pain ever#Also in general. Don’t hang out with straight men who appropriate gay culture#because they’re still like. Patriarchal and sexist assholes with a fake cover#Because Guess what!! When you say homophobic shit but your not gay#your just homophobic!!!!
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