#i fucking hate this stupid ugly disgusting body i have and my dysfunctional digestive system and dumb stomach and idiotic brain
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#I'm fucking freaking out and crying and I need to went#I don't know what the fuck am i doing wrong but I gained one kg in three days#i haven't changed anything about my lifestyle#i don't want to have more than 48kg#i work out nealry two hours daily and try my best to consume less than 1000 calories a day#I don't know if I should start skipping meals and invest that time into more workout or what#i have never before gained so much weight so rapidly#and I know it's not my cycle this time#i fucking hate this stupid ugly disgusting body i have and my dysfunctional digestive system and dumb stomach and idiotic brain#all the fucking progress i made in one year is going to be gone#and it's hard to eat less when food is pretty much the only thing I look forward to during my day#I'm so fucking tired of me just fucking up constantly#few months ago i used to have stable weight of 46 and now I can't even keep up with that#I'm done I'm so fucking done with treating myself kindly#i don't fucking deserve that because I give myself a helping hand and I take it and destroy everything#fuck you fuck you fuck you#I'm so angry and so sad and so frustrated and I don't know what to do with myself#i want to beat myself up#i can never keep anything good with me#i don't know how to live with myself anymore I'm just so tired#okay that's all#bye
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