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swordheld · 8 months

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how did u choose your username?

oh, this is a fun one!! i think i considered being swordtold at first, for that very ancient myth vibe of the sword being this narrative tool for adventure and structure and physical time, the parable being passed down through the centuries until it meddles into modern day rhetoric and ideology – a kind of fantastical tool, a spark of magic, of possibility.

i like the arc of the story of a place being physical / having it be held by time and hand alike, wearing with the years and having it become something different to each holder, each reader, each experience fantastical and individual.

having that kind of physicality to it; swordheld is the action of taking up and holding the sword yourself, choosing your own narrative, leading your own story. self-identity has always been something i struggle with (a novel concept i know, i know), so it felt right for this blog, since most of my older blogs before this one have been just me silently reblogging and never really posting anything myself, and i wanted this to be the change to that.

i've always had trouble wranging my social anxiety, esp. on the internet, and previously thought that keeping my words to myself helped keep the timeline cleaner, in a way, no messy thoughts for others to sort through, especially ones i believed no one would want to read anyway? but it never felt right, keeping myself apart from it all, esp. not in the way i so avidly enjoyed reading others' posts and additions, keeping their words close to my heart.

i wanted it to reflect that this was a space i was holding for myself? and i'm a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but this - this i think i got right. i love being here, on this blog, and the joy that it brings me. everyone else enjoying it too has been a wild ride that i never expected, and still surprises me, one that brings a little extra thrill to my heart whenever i think about it.

i had other urls that i liked, but i didn't want this blog to be tied directly to any of my fandom/story interests, since i wanted it to really just be a sort of archive of artistic inspiration and resource, like a little library or museum. i use them now as lil sideblogs of more niche interests now, which is rather lovely.

it hasn't always felt like it fit perfectly, the way that i'd like, but for some reason i can't think of really wanting to change it anytime soon. it feels mythic yet modern in a way that feels like puzzle pieces finally slotting into their place, something my own and inspirational to me, like a lantern i'm holding to make my way by. my own kind of light, if that makes sense – a star i know by name.

#q&a.#birdsong.#all of this is truly just a way to say: it's your blog! it's your party! do what you like if it makes you happy!! (and doesn't hurt anyone!#live your dreams!!!!!! do your own thing truly it is worth it. which feels silly and cheesy inspirational talk vibes but u kno. it's right #thank u for ur question tho !!! it's been so long that i don't really remember exactly what the beginning of it all was?#it wasn't always my url for this blog esp. in the beginning but i've forgotten what that was ghjk so sorry dear anon !#like little flashes of a story in my memory i have to make out / like steam or fog on a window pane. blurry and unclear?#but now it feels more intentional / almost like watercolor! something that mixes itself into a new thing; bright and bursting w/ it all.#i hope this answers ur question nicely all the same tho <3 #i always on habit write out lantern as lanturn so this is an unintentional shout out to one of my fav pokemon love u lanturn !!#some of these things i truly do just write out bc i know it'll make me laugh later if i ever come back to it. lil joys for ur future self !#and that IS a reference to the dickinson poem ' i am out with lanterns looking for myself ' it is in my brain always ! ! thank u ! !

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wundrousarts · 1 year

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It’s officially 2023, meaning that Silverborn comes out this year!

I feel like the title is likely going to refer to something specific that we don’t know about yet, but here are some ways that silver has come up in the series and what it all might mean:

Nobility/The Rich + The Silver District

The description for Silverborn says that we'll "travel to places in Nevermoor that we've ever seen," and a lot of folks think that we'll be visiting the Silver District, which is where the rich reside. Some theories relating to this include:

— We could see Noelle again, which might be the character that we haven't seen in a while as teased by one of Jess's Instagram stories.

— Morrigan could come from nobility or a rich family. While she does come from some sort of wealth and privilege in Jackalfax due to Corvus's status as a politician, it doesn't really matter. Going with the Nevermoorian theory, perhaps Mog's mom comes from the Silver District. Additionally, Morrigan being from nobility could be another parallel with Lam.

— The [redacted] snippet could be a scene set somewhere in the Silver District. The redacted word was confirmed by Jess to be a surname, one that we haven't seen before. Perhaps it could be Mog's relatives on her Mom's side?

— Since the Silver District is where rich people live, it's likely a place where lots of Wundersmith monuments and etc. were commissioned. Morrigan might discover them and learn about some past Wundersmiths, and perhaps even run into a few Ghostly Hours on the way.

Another way that the "nobility" angle could come in, especially with it being something to be born into, could be Morrigan's status as a Wundersmith. Wundersmiths used to be put on a pedestal and even almost deified by the end of their time. Morrigan is born into this legacy and is starting to explore what it means.

The phrase about being "born with a silver spoon in your mouth" is one that's been thrown around since the title was announced, and refers to being born into a wealthy family. Perhaps it refers to Mog coming from a wealthy family, or perhaps it refers to her being born into the illustrious legacy of being a Wundersmith.

Additionally, while it's not something that people are born into (unless you count knacks, maybe?), the fact that Wunsoc folks have more privilege than other folks is definitely something we could see being explored more in this book and beyond.

Side note: Later in this post I discuss silver as it relates to inferiority. Perhaps if Morrigan goes to the Silver District and meets rich folk and/or Noelle, there'll be some sort of dynamic wherein Morrigan is just unintentionally superior to them in some way despite their wealth due to both her Wunsoc and Wundersmith status, and they are inferior because they lack these things.

Silver as it pertains to Witnesses

There are two moments where Witnesses have described a silver instance.

The first moment is this part in Wundersmith:

Jack looked at them a minute, frowning in concentration. ‘That loud one dressed as a clownfish would much rather be at home. Or somewhere else, anyway. There’s a … it’s like a thread, or something. Silver thread. Keeps trying to pull her right out the front door.”

The second moment is this part in Hollowpox:

Jupiter held the rabbit closer, examining every inch of fur, a frown deepening the crease between his eyebrows. “Her handprints are all over him. Cloudy silver smudges. Big hands, little hands. Hands a bit like yours. Twenty-odd years of them, layer upon layer.”

“Mog,” he said quietly. “I think, perhaps, this rabbit belonged to your mother.”

Silver relates to both a desire to be home or be elsewhere (the thread) along with the past and identity and ownership (the fingerprints). Here are some ideas for how this could apply to Silverborn and beyond:

— Morrigan is searching to learn more about herself, where she comes from, and where she belongs. She seeks to "return to her roots".

— She wants to properly "be at home," something she's been struggling with her whole life and is still trying to juggle with, even if it's not something she quite understands.

— We could learn more about Mog's Mom in this book, along with Mog's maternal family in general. See: the earlier thoughts about the [redacted] snippet.

— Squall is also someone longing to go home, because he wants to return to his beloved Nevermoor and the apprenticeship with Mog is a step towards that direction. I bet if a Witness looked at him, there'd be a silver thread pulling at him (towards Nevermoor?).

— When it comes to ownership, Morrigan is learning how to be a Wundersmith and take control of her powers and the history that come with them. As a teenager now, she's starting to figure out who she is and become her own person.

Silver as a key to Wunder

Morrigan's silver umbrella tip, given to her by Jupiter, is used to unlock the Hall of Shadows, which definitely seems wundrous, especially after we learn that Shadowmaking is a sub-art of Veil.

In Hollowpox, Jupiter gives her and Jack a silver key to unlock the frozen lake room so that they can ice skate. The room is as wacky and wundrous as the rest of the hotel. Morrigan makes a specific connection between the two things:

This wasn’t, after all, the first time that Jupiter had given her a slightly odd gift. It wasn’t the first time he had given her a key.

A memory came to her of a strange locked door on a quiet floor of the Hotel Deucalion. The tip of her oilskin umbrella—a birthday present from Jupiter—turning in the lock with a satisfying click. An enchanted lantern-lit room full of shadow-monsters within.

I just think it's interesting that twice now we've had something silver be a key to unlocking something Wundrous. I think we will probably see this continue.

Another line in the Silverborn description says "we'll meet people from Morrigan's past who will be very important in untangling the mystery of who she is." Perhaps whoever this is will be the key to unlocking Morrigan's past, whether it's related to Wundersmiths or her mother or both. "Key to unlock" and "important in untangling" feel like the same sentiment, just with different wording.

Silver as it relates to the Wintersea Republic

When Morrigan meets Maud, she sees this:

There was a double door made of dark wood, with an unusual set of silver handles that interlocked to form a large, ornate W.

Was she back at Wunsoc?

We quickly learn that the W stands for Wintersea and not Wundrous, but it's still interesting because it marks a clear distinction with the cool silver compared to the warm golden Wunsoc W.

The gold color related to Wunsoc comes from the golden color of Wunder, so perhaps the silver relates to the absence of Wunder in the Republic.

Some folks in the Discord brought up how silver has a connotation with second place and inferiority. Given how Squall helped create the Republic, this could make sense. It'll always be second place and less than his beloved Nevermoor, as it's just a temporary way for him to hold power until he returns. However, he's also the second most powerful person, as Maud is more powerful than him and even scares him.

I think that Maud and the Wintersea Republic are going to become more powerful and more important as we go into this second act of the story, and silver being associated with them is definitely something to keep in mind.

Silver + Secrets

Added 2/23/23

I'm currently rereading Nevermoor and have found some fun possible associations with keeping secrets and things being hidden that I wanted to share:

— Morrigan's umbrella unlocks the Hall of Shadows, which is in the renovated wing that she isn't supposed to be in

— Squall uses a silver scarf to hide his face on Hallowmas

— Expanding on the aforementioned silver Witnessing associations, being a Witness is essentially being able to see the secrets of people and things

Silver + Celestials

Added 7/22/23

Wrapped up my Wundersmith reread and found something fun.

— Jupiter receives a "note sealed with silver wax" from "the Celes-"

— This could mean that we might learn some more about Celestial Beings in Silverborn, or perhaps the term is related to them somehow

—— Could relate to a Celestial Being being born, someone born of a Celestial Being, or perhaps someone born under / during an important celestial event (cough cough Eventide)

—— Could also tie back to all the theories of Noelle's knack being related to, and even possibly stolen from, Celestials. Especially interesting since a lot of folks are hoping to see her again in the book.

— A side note: some of the emotions Mog describes in relation to Israfel's voice are reminiscent of some of the themes of family, longing, nostalgia, etc.

— Also: the Eventide phase on the Skyfaced Clock is referred to as “inky, star-strewn blackness”. If silver is related to Celestials and perhaps stars….. what if “Silverborn” is just another term for being born on Eventide?

#nevermoor #nevermoor theory #silverborn #silverborn theory #feel free to add on any thoughts and theories of your own!#also if i'm referencing smthn that you're confused abt feel free to ask #idk if some of this stuff has been discussed much outside of the discord ie. referring to the one snippet as the “[redacted] snippet”#also it's like 2AM as I'm finishing this and I've definitely forgotten some things so perhaps I'll edit it if I have anything else to add

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viric-dreams · 22 days

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I really don't get how everything can be going right one day, and my art's coming out better than I could've possibly expected, then a switch seems to flip and I'm back to "this looks like a 12-year-old's back of the science notebook scribbles" except without any of the joy. How is this a thing that can happen, for real.

#i've scrapped like three pieces today #because they all look absolutely deranged #it feels like i've straight up forgotten how to draw from one day to the next #which is particularly frustrating on my day off #the day in which i can actually do fun things #but the fun things have to work with me here #and also be fun

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brittlebutch · 6 months

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it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time

I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world

And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with

#N posts stuff #one could argue ‘we see tula worry a lot tho’ but that’s bc Worry is an Action that can occur Separately from Recognizing Anxiety #now that I know tumblr will put a hard cap on your tags w/o telling you i'm resigning myself to posting rambling meta in post body #but i'm not happy about it; anyway i love how often life is full of Coincidences bc this is something I've Finally identified in myself #like. This Month. like this is brand new articulation for some of the problems i have in life; again knowing this doesn't help lmao #bc even when you know to look Around the shape of the emotion - like 'oh my face is Snarling rn. i'm probably experiencing Something'#like i said bc you don't know What that something is OR What might have caused it then the only solution you Ever get to come up with #is just 'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else' which INVARIABLY means that you will wind up in that same situation again #and Still have no idea how to handle it bc you never could figure out what caused it so you don't know how to handle it any better than #'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else'; so 'be somewhere else' is the ONLY way you can ever think to Help it #which usually invariably turns into 'Just Avoid Fucking Everything just in case'; which doesn't work! bc life doesn't let you do that #so then it's just a cycle of falling into the same pitfalls and feeling miserable all the time; gotta love it :)#if you're like me this also gives you Bad Bad Bad Memory bc your brain will Promptly hide evidence of Scary Situation instinctively #like 3 weeks ago this dude ran a red light and almost t-boned me Full Speed & managed to stop like. maybe 3 feet away.#and i like. Startled Laughed and said 'that was scary' and then within 30 seconds i had Fully Forgotten it happened & only remembered #like 2 days ago. Ha! believe it or not this Does Not Help with 'How can I Address the Problem instead of Avoiding It Entirely?'#dimension 20 #d20: stupendous stoats #tula #d20lb

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deathsbestgirl · 7 months

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even disregarding anything beyond s7, they literally live such joyless lives. like, the grief they have experienced is overwhelming, how could they ever truly be happy with that grief always hanging over their heads, the discomfort that would bring is enormous

well, no. they did not have joyless lives. like everyone, life happens to them and that means pain & grief but that doesn't mean their entire lives & existence are joyless.

we really only see them at work, we don't know what goes on outside of it.

they're actually really happy in season 1 & season 7. in season 1, they're getting to know each other, they become best friends quickly. the smile & laugh constantly, they tease each other. they always enjoy their debates & most cases. even when they're scary, even when they don't get all the answers. they get to know each other so well in that time and it's a gift to them both. they still have light moments in every season and you can't love like they do and be just miserable. in season 7, they're together. they're experiencing so many new things in their relationship that they've wanted for a long time and finally let themselves have. they're constantly flirting & smiling and talk about their feelings more openly than they have in the past.

and the other years, they find so much in each other when the world turns their back on them. mulder is scully's light when she loses melissa, when they close her case, during her cancer, with emily. he fights so hard for her and holds her up when she needs it. scully is mulder's light through every hard case, when he loses his mom, helps him find closure about samantha. she is always pulling him from the depths. he tries so hard to tell her what she means to him in his mulder way, and she finds so much meaning in a keychain & he's in awe of her. she's always asking him to get out of the car because the truth & work doesn't have to be all their lives are. and eventually he starts to learn and they play baseball and they dance and have movie nights and exchange gifts.

mulder & scully learn what to do with their grief, the love they can't give to the people they've lost. mulder fought for every child & family they came across and never gave up until they had answers, or were safely returned to their families. scully goes back into the medical field and helps every child & family she can. they go home to each other and they have a quiet life for a while.

yes, mulder was sick for a while but he comes out the other side more able to relax and he lives. he asks scully on dates, they go back to the work they love and it's much lighter than it was before. until they come across their son. there was pain in that, but there was also so much relief in knowing that jackson was loved. he had parents who loved him and took care of him and tried to get him help when he needed it. he played baseball. and for a little while they thought he was dead, but scully realized the moment his body disappeared that he wasn't really dead. and they sought him out and he gave scully small little gifts that he could. the snow globe, the knowledge that he was alive & could protect himself & that he really wanted to know her. he heard every word she said to him. my struggle iv ends very open ended. they think jackson was shot but scully is pregnant again, and they have a chance to be parents to another child like they always wanted. and you can believe they never see jackson again but that just. can't be the truth. it's open ended to leave room for them to come back, because the x files never gives us all the answers. because the fact that jackson is alive & they're having another baby is so hopeful. maybe we don't see them as a family in the end, but i think they made it clear mulder & scully never give up and jackson wants to know them. he wanted to protect them but he's just a teenager.

grief is hard but it's a part of life and it doesn't mean they can't be happy. it might never be pure, but there's no such thing as pure, untainted happiness. it's the human condition. we get to feel the whole spectrum of emotions and life grows around grief. you learn what to do with it. you learn ways to share the love you can't actively give to the people you've lost. but the connections & love don't go away. that love is belongs to you and there are so many ways to honor it, to share it with others and it can still be all about that person. that's what the x files is all about for mulder & scully. it's always what the show was about. chris carter was right: mulder and scully are the light in dark places. the show is all about their love, the way they love each other & the world & all the love they're surrounded by.

#well i answered this pretty earnestly #like idk man. i'm here because i watched the x files with my dad #and i showed it to my wife & i dragged my friends into it #and i've talked about him enough that someone wrote a fic inspired #by him and what i've said #sometimes i feel like i'm drowning in my grief #of missing him of him not getting to know renata #but i've learned ways to keep the connection alive #like scully singing joy to the world to william #or all the space pajamas & toys & the mobile #mulder couldn't be there but she made sure william could feel his presence somehow #that she could #when she thought he was dead she was carrying one more mulder #he wasn't the last one and he would never be forgotten like samantha wouldn't be forgotten #like melissa like scully's dad like mulder's parents like every person they ever helped #the x files #mulder and scully #txf txt

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