Tumgik
#i feel ill. but like im still functional and i dont have a fever so im going to sleep it off soon ! good night i have another eatly morning
loverofallthingssmart · 9 months
Text
ohhh i can feel the entire summer catching up to me
2 notes · View notes
stoic--rose · 24 days
Text
Tumblr media
going to rate all of these spells because they all piss me off to some extent
Tumblr media
Conjure Baked Goods one of the better spells in the game, can be good to get a quick boost in cookies if you need to afford something right NOW. the backfire can be pretty rough though. 7/10
Tumblr media
Force the Hand of Fate another pretty good spell, pretty pricey but well worth it if you get it to land. the backfire is borderline nonexistent too, since you dont NEED to click the wrath cookie. id say the real downside of the backfire is the hefty chunk of magic you lose. also, not that great for more passive builds where you're using the shimmering veil or the holobore spirit, but great otherwise. 8/10
Tumblr media
Stretch Time kind of whatever spell, since it really only works well in conjunction with another spell or golden cookie effects. and even then, it doesn't make them THAT much longer. the backfire can really fuck you up too, if you have a good thing going. still, its affordable, so you're not losing that much by using it. 5/10
Tumblr media
Spontaneous Edifice one of the worst spells by far, too many qualifications needed for the good effect, and a pretty bad backfire. plus, in the late game where all your buildings are over 400, it literally does nothing. WAY too expensive, pretty whatever effect (even in the early game where it does work), bad backfire, who gives a shit. 3/10
Tumblr media
Haggler's Charm really reaaaally boring spell. 2% is not a lot, as im sure you can imagine. only lasting one minute isn't that big of a downside, since if youre using this you've probably got an upgrade in mind that you want to buy, but 2% cheaper barely makes a difference. i would say 1 hour for the backfire is pretty rough, but like... you're not really buying that many upgrades in the late game. gets a bonus point for referencing loadsamoney in the flavor text though. also really good for getting the A Wizard is You achievement, since it's the cheapest (normal functioning) spell, so another bonus point for that. 5/10
Tumblr media
Summon Crafty Pixies has all the issues i listed with Haggler's Charm, but this one is a little more handy since you're usually buying more buildings than you are upgrades. 6/10
Tumblr media
Gambler's Fever Dream i will say, i do like this one, if only for the fact that its extremely gimmicky. i like funny gimmicks, ill admit that. still not all that useful, even for getting the A Wizard is You achievement, since even though it's TECHNICALLY the cheapest spell, it could very easily pick Spontaneous Edifice and eat up half your magic bar. 4/10, bonus point for being funny
Tumblr media
Resurrect Abomination yaaaaaaawn. who gives a shit man. wrinklers are not that hard to come by, so i don't really need a spell to summon them. nor do i really care if it backfires and i lose one. 3/10
Tumblr media
Diminish Ineptitude this one is actually quite good! really it's only good in conjunction with Conjure Baked Goods or Force the Hand of Fate, but still! if it works, great! go for a spell you wanted to use! if it doesn't, just don't use spells for the next 10 minutes! pretty good overall, just wish the other spells were good enough to warrant using it more. 7/10
feel free to let me know how incorrect my opinions are and explain why some of these are actually good because i want to know what situation would warrant any of these
2 notes · View notes
crossover-enthusiast · 3 months
Note
Log date: 08/05/19xx
We managed to find a cache of letters in an abandoned hideout of the church of the broken god. All of them from the same source. From the look of the letters theyre quite old. Theyre all from the same origin too. Some place called [REDACTED] biotech, the place closed ages ago. Anyways. The contents of the letters were...deeply concerning.
Dear [REDACTED]
Its dr [REDACTED], please help me. Well, please help my son. Hes been acting strangely after an incident at the lab which i prefer not to go into detail, lets just say that some [REDACTED] got out into the lab and it must have gotten into contact with him because hes fallen ill. His breathing is laboured and he looks pale and sickly. Im worried. Hes been relentlessly scratching at his neck and arms too and its causing him to sustain terrible wounds. Do you know how to help?
Regards, Dr [REDACTED]
Dear [REDACTED]
Its dr [REDACTED] again. I need help. Its my son, he collapsed today and i believe hes fallen into a coma. We're not sure what happened exactly he just, dropped to the floor unconscious and he hasnt woken up. Hes developed a horrible fever too. I believe your technology can help him. Please.
Regards, dr [REDACTED]
Dear [REDACTED]
thank you for your kind remarks, i am afraid that i bear bad news. I believe my son is brain dead. It all happened so quickly it still feels like he was showing me his progress in one of his video games. We are going to try and bring him back to life, but i fear that it will not work.
Regards, dr [REDACTED]
Dear [REDACTED]
The device you sent us has been a life saver. We did a brain scan on him and his neural activity is functioning once again. Although ive noticed that he seems to be developing odd square shaped marks on his face, and his skin is turning an odd pinkish grey color. Its probably just a side effect of your wonder machine, but its a side effect that i am willing to bear. Thank you
Regards, dr [REDACTED]
These letters are deeply concerning, and i believe they may be connected to a yet unknown anomaly. We will investigate further
Signed, Bennett
Log date: 15/08/19xx
We have been contacted about a possible anomaly. Male, 14 to 15 years of age, pinkish grey skin with black square shaped marking on him. He appears to be levitating and has been sighted around [REDACTED] mall, Minnesota. It was noted that there was an oddly colored, glitchy radius around him. This could possibly be a reality bending anomaly. Anomaly does not seem hostile so far but since it was just discovered we dont know for sure.
Signed, Bennett
Ooooo
0 notes
coridallasmultipass · 4 years
Text
Tmi / talk about menstruation and iud / venting / but i just wanna get this out, and maybe someone else is in the same boat as me because ive never been able to find any accounts of similar experiences ... I wanna preface this by saying im 26 and have rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia/chronic pain, which is probably related but i dont know how. I normally have super heavy periods and debilitating cramps, along with discomfort during penetration (or similar activities) on some occasions. Ive tried a couple different birth control options over the years and each one has given me constant cramping. Its weird because the cramping on the pill (2 or 3 different kinds of BC pills in different times of my life) and depoprovera shot were the same in that i would get terrible cramps whenever i did any kind of activity but especially when i stand up from a sitting position. I remember being in college and standing up and having to immediately sit back down hunched over until it passed. I got the depo shot a few months ago and it was the worst thing ever. I had severe cramping with all kinds of movement (and havent been able to even touch myself without setting off the cramps) and after a month of it i started bleeding for a month straight until a doctor gave me estrogen pills on top of it to stop the bleeding. The pills stopped the bleeding but not the cramps, so the plan was for me to wait it out and try an iud next since the medicine would be administered locally instead of by pill or shot through my whole body.... three months during the depo shot i could not exercise or do any physical activity, which of course is making my fibromyalgia and mood worse. I feel like ive lost a whole year to the depo shot, on top of other health problems that have been acting up before the depo. It sucked and im not trying it again. I had about 2 weeks until the mirena iud insertion where i was taking the estrogen pills and still cramping (along with getting a full heavy and bad cramping period during the vitamin-pill week while i waited for the prescription to come in. The cramping was so bad i almost wanted to go to the emergency room, but it lessened by the next day even if i was still going through so many pads.) Before the iud insertion i took a pill the night before which the doctor said could help loosen up my organ to allow for easier insertion since ive never had a kid. I knew i could expect a lot of pain given how sensitive i know i am, but the few people ive heard get them said it was only really painful during and they were fine after, so i figure i could be strong and deal with it if its going to help stop my monthly cramping and bleeding. Turns out the insertion was the worst pain ive ever felt in my life. Normally having a speculum put in already puts me in considerable pain (a speculum feels like a shard of glass shoved in me) but it pales in comparison to getting the iud. I was crying out and struggling to stay still during the proceedure but once it was over i hoped it would start to feel better. It burned with pain and still does days later. I didnt realise i would get severe cramping immediately after the insertion, but i could barely stand up. The doctors had to let me stay in the room for like a half hour before i could limp back to the car. Im lucky i had my mom to drive me home because i could still barely breathe it hurt so badly. I took tylenol about a half hour before the proceedure but i dont think it did anything. I couldnt take advil because of other medicines im taking. So the only other thing i could do is lay there screaming in pain with the heating pad pressed on me. A few hours later my mom had to call an on-call doctor from the same hospital and he said to go to the er so we went. The rest of the night is kind of blurry i was in so much pain and could barely think. The er gave me a painkiller and later a muscle relaxant before telling me i have to stop my other meds so i can take advil. I was there for like 6 hours i think, feeling waves of terrible cramps that feel like a knife is slicing the inside of me - the same feeling as the iud insertion. I feel bad for everyone who had to hear me screaming every 10 minutes and my mom who had to stay with me. The doctors kicked me out immediately after giving me advil and i went home barely able to even walk or move. It took me another 2 hours to manage to fall asleep even though i was so exhausted and had the worst chest and body pain from being so tense at experiencing the worst pain of my life. Nornally, if unmedicated, ill get periods so bad im screaming in pain, but it will only last 1-2 hours until the advil or tylenol kicks in and dulls it down to a bearable ache, so this iud was supposed to be my fall back on options to eliminate cramps. (I really wish the doctor would just let me get a hysterectomy i dont ever want kids and this whole situation is giving me severe gender dysphoria) Yesterday i spent the whole day sleeping off my traumatic er experience and today im still getting really horrible waves of cramping and nausea. Thankfully im not bleeding (...yet?) But it still feels like having a tampon being yanked out of me that wont come out. The knife feeling isnt there so im not screaming, but the cramps are still so bad and i dont know if i need to take it out. The er doctor said to take it out if the advil doesnt help, and that this is most likely anxiety making the pain get out of control. The er nurse said this is normal. Like??? How the fuck to people deal with this im scared about taking it out because thats probably going to hurt even more. I forgot to ask my prescribing doctor if theres a risk for toxic shock or something but like i dont have a fever its just so painful feeling it there. The placement is "right" according to the ultrasounds but it hurts so much and is still giving me cramps I really dont know how anyone could deal with this the whole thing is so upsetting i want it out but i dont want to deal with the proceedure to get it out and that same severe cramping i dont think theyll allow it to be a surgical removal but i wont be able to sit there and deal with it again!!!! Just thinking about all of it is giving me more anxiety too, i have such dysphoria about my internal organs and such a terrible phobia about even having them!!! This amount of cramping should not fucking be "normal" i hate being invalidated at the er like that God i just dont know what to do the cramping is so bad and im still scared of getting an ulcer from the advil. Thats another thing. A year ago i got an ulcer from taking advil because of period cramps, so ive been suffering taking tylenol! Thats why i want a BC that works to get rid of cramps and bleeding!! Now here i am with the worst cramps and bloating of my life!! How am i expected to function like this!!! I dont remember half of the past few days because ive been in so much pain!!! I can only hope this gets better because it feels worse today than it did yesterday, even if its not as bad as the day before when i had the insertion done. The doctor said if im still having the same kind of cramps ive been getting with the other types of birth control after a month i can look into other options (hopefully hysterectomy!!) But thats so far away and i havent been able to practise driving or apply to any jobs because i cant fucking do more than sit or lie down because of the god damn cramps Ive lost like all my personality and enjoyment of life and lost any one i could call a friend because this is consuming me and i cant fucking do anything i hate it i just want something to go right for once i want to be able to exercise again i love exercising and i havent been able to go for a walk without getting winded and severe cramping I cant even find other people that get cramping on birth control when standing up or doing activities so i dont know why this is happening to me ive looked everywhere i can and all i get is dysphoria because """"mensutruation is a womens health problem"""" and my phobia of pregnancy makes it impossible to browse forums I dont know what my point to all this is i just really need to vent because i feel so alone with this specific problem Life sucks and then you die i guess lmao
4 notes · View notes
saxxxology · 5 years
Text
BITTEN - Ch.4
After getting bitten by a werewolf, Sam finds himself trying to adapt to a brand new lifestyle that brings him closer to the girl he loves, but threatens to tear him apart from his family for good.
PAIRING: Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader
WORD COUNT: ~2200
WARNINGS: non-consensual werewolf bite (not sexual), a/b/o dynamics: heat/rut, knotting, claiming, breeding kink, angst, time hop (season 9 to 12), and more.
NOTE: Edited by @kayteonline and @kittenofdoomage - please heed all warnings and enjoy! This is NOT intended to be a dark fic, but if you read something that bothers you, it is your responsibility to stop reading, keep scrolling past it, or contact me for content clarification.
Buy Sam’s scent from my Etsy shop
Read the entire series on Patreon for just $3
Series Masterlist
THIS WORK IS 18+ ONLY. DO NOT REPOST MY WORK ON ANY OTHER SITES.
Tumblr media
Dean was in the kitchen when you walked up. He was cradling a large cup of coffee in one hand, and when he saw you emerge from the basement, his gaze fixed on you.
“How is he?” he asked urgently, “is he okay?”
You nodded. “It’s over. He’s fine, just hungry. Where’s Garth?”
“He went out with Bess. She’s in shock over what happened, so he took her to a safehouse out of state.” Dean watched as you pulled a pan from the rack on the wall and set it on the stove. “What do you mean by ‘fine?’”
“He’s not in pain anymore, his fever went down.” You cracked eggs into a bowl and whisked them around. “He just needs to recuperate for a few days, maybe a week.”
“Can I see him?” Dean asked.
You nodded and pulled a couple bagged chicken hearts from the fridge. “After he’s eaten. He’s gonna be stronger than normal for a while, so we gotta keep his human contact minimal.” You heard Dean exhale heavily as you started chopping the hearts into chunks. “Dean, I know you wanted to find a cure, but there’s nothing you could have done. I’ve seen people get bit and go through a lot worse. At least he’s alive. He’s a little different than he was yesterday, but he’s alive.”
Dean nodded and leaned against the counter. “You’re really intent on taking care of him, huh?”
“It’s my job to take care of my pack.” You replied, pulling four sausages from the fridge and tossing them in the pan, along with an entire pack of bacon. “Russ and Joba are gone. The Reverend’s… well, let’s just say I’m in charge of the pack, now. I care for Sam, deeply. If it were up to me I would have killed Joy myself so that didn’t happen.”
You heard Dean scoff, but when you looked at him you could see he was grinning.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Dean finished his beer and set the empty bottle on the counter. “Just… I never thought you’d actually spook over a guy getting turned.”
You shrugged. “I know when to care about someone getting bit. I wanted Sam to leave, I wanted him to forget about me, about the pack. I never wanted him to get bit.”
Dean nodded shortly. “The way I look at it now is, he could have been bitten and left to die. At least this way he’s got you and Garth and Bess to look after him, make sure he won’t get into trouble.”
You finished cooking in silence. Piling most of what you’d cooked onto a large plate, you slid one of the sausage links, a small pile of eggs, and several strips of bacon on a separate one, which you offered Dean. He accepted it gratefully, noting that you’d cooked the chicken hearts in  a separate pan. When you re-entered the basement, you found Sam sitting up and stretching his arms above his head.
“I could smell that from down here,” he muttered, turning his head to look at you, “is that normal?”
You handed him the plate and watched him begin to devour the food, shoveling a mixture of everything into his mouth with a fork that seemed comically small in his large hands. “Yeah, it’s pretty normal. And don’t worry about eating everything there, your appetite’s going to be pretty out there for the next couple days.”
Within minutes, Sam had completely annihilated the food on the plate. He tilted his head back against the wall, his lips parted as he sighed in satisfaction. “There was a heart in there, wasn’t there?”
“Two. Small ones, just chicken, nothin’ special.” You took the plate from him and set it down on the floor before snuggling into him. “How do you feel?”
Sam exhaled heavily and slipped an arm around your shoulders. “Not hungry anymore, definitely not tired… I feel strong. Stronger than before.” He flexed his arms, examining the muscles that bulged under the gray sleepshirt. He seemed bigger. “Actually, I feel like I need to run, get out…”
“There’s the punching bag.” You gestured to the slightly misshapen tool in the corner. “I can’t let you out yet, gotta know you can control yourself around humans.”
“Humans…” Sam looked down at his lap and swallowed. “That’s right, I’m not human anymore.”
You shook your head. “That’s not entirely true. You’re still human here,” you put a hand over his heart. “You’ll still be able to function like a human, your instincts are just rewired a bit, that’s all.”
Sam scoffed. “Yeah, what happens when I wolf out and go nuts?”
“That won’t happen.” You nuzzled his shoulder and stood with him as he shuffled over to the punching bag. He gave it an experimental nudge with his fist. “Want to see Dean?”
He nodded apprehensively. “Yeah, but I don’t wanna try to hurt him.”
“Sam, you won’t—”
“You don’t know that. Make sure I don’t try to hurt him.”
You bowed your head and trotted back up the stairs, closing and locking the cage door behind you. Dean was still waiting in the kitchen, and he stood upon seeing you emerge from the basement.
“You can see him, but we have to be careful,” you said quietly. “If he smells you he could try to get at you, that’s gonna be his first instinct. The cage door down there has silver on it, so if he tries anything it’ll hurt, bad, but I need you to stay on the stairs, keep your distance.”
Dean held his hands up as if in surrender. “Trust me, I’ll be keepin’ my distance.”
You led him down the basement, slowly, his boots clunking heavily on the thick wooden planks. You could hear the dull, repetitive THWACK of Sam’s fists against the punching bag, but after the basement door closed, they ceased, and the space fell silent as you and Dean came down the steps. A little more than halfway down, you motion for him to stop.
“Dean, stay here.”
He nodded quietly and waited for you to slip past the cage, locking it behind you.
Sam was standing in the corner by the punching bag, his arms folded across his middle. You motioned for him to walk over, but he shook his head. “Y/N, I can’t… I don’t want him to see me like this. I can smell him, I can hear his heartbeat.”
“You won’t hurt him.” You walked closer to him, reaching for one of his hands. “Sam, come on, I’ll be there. The door’s got silver on it, you won’t be able to get out.”
Sam lowered his voice. “What if I hurt you?”
“You won’t. Now come on.” You led him slowly over to the wire door. His heartbeat increased with every step, and you heard his breathing grow more and shakier.
When Dean came into view, you didn’t know if Sam was going to recoil or lunge at the gate. He could hear Dean’s heartbeat, steady and slow, the rush of blood pumping through his veins, traces of whiskey and cedar covering up the thick, coppery scent…
...No, stop it! That’s your brother! You wouldn’t bite your own brother!
“Sammy?” Dean’s voice was quiet as he took another step down the stairs. “Hey, it’s me.”
Sam paused, took a deep breath. “I know.” He looked down at the ground and closed his eyes, trying as hard as he could to stop from hurling himself at the wall of the cage. “How’ve you been?”
“Uh, worried, for one,” Dean chuckled in an attempt to lighten the mood, “I went out for a little during the night, tried looking for a cure or something…”
“Yeah.” Sam swallowed and clenched his fist. He didn’t know what the fuck was happening, but all he wanted to do was break out of the cage and rip his brother’s chest apart, get at the thick, pulsing muscle that was hidden behind bone and sinew, devour the warm, blood-drenched organ that kept his brother alive…
No! Goddamn it! Stop!
“I thought you’d be gone.” Sam cleared his throat as a fresh wave of hunger washed over him.
“Had to make sure you’re okay, didn’t I?” Dean caught your warning glance to stay where he was and decided not to take the last two steps down. Hell, he might be too close already. “How do you feel?”
Sam swallowed thickly as you increased the pressure on his hand. “Honestly, I feel good. I’m strong, I’m not hurting, just wanna get the hell out of here.”
“And why can’t you?” Dean shifted his gaze back and forth between you and Sam.
“Because if I get out of here I’m not gonna be able to stop myself from trying to hurt you or someone else,” Sam stated bluntly.
Dean seemed taken aback by Sam’s words. Apparently, he hadn’t considered just how dangerous Sam really was until he’d said it. “Sam, you wouldn’t.”
“You don’t know what I’d do, Dean, hell, I don’t know what I’d do.” Sam’s body trembled as he spoke, but he stood his ground. “The only reason I’m not going after you right now is that I know I shouldn’t, but if Y/N wasn’t here with me, if this happened somewhere else… I don’t know if either of us would be alive right now.”
You saw Dean swallow, saw his Adam’s apple bob in his throat, and heard Sam growl, low and deep in his chest.
“Sam, don’t say that.”
“You’re not in the place to tell me what to do, Dean.” Sam retorted. “I’m a monster, both of us know that. You don’t know how… how hungry I feel right now. I don’t have a friggin’ clue what’s making me feel this way, but if you weren’t my brother… I’d kill you, without thinking.”
Looking up, you noticed Sam’s upper lip beginning to twitch. He was starting to lose control. “Dean, I think you should go, this isn’t—”
Dean, obviously, didn’t listen. Instead, he did the worst thing he could. He took another step, closing the distance between him and his brother by another two feet.
Overcome by hunger, Sam snapped. You saw his eyes flash yellow as his instinct to attack sprang free. He snarled, his lips curling back over his teeth as his muscles bunch. He lunged forward, slamming all two-hundred pounds of his body against the cage. His long fingers were pointed in two-inch claws, which curled in the wire before he stumbled back with a yelp of pain; the silver on the wire had seared his skin.
Dean fell back when Sam crashed against the cage, bringing an arm up instinctively to protect his face.
“Dean!” You shouted, pulling Sam back against the far wall and holding him there. “Get out! Now!”
You saw Dean stagger to his feet his eyes fixed on the snarling beast of a man now ten feet away from him. He was staring at Sam with a mixture of fear, anger, and sorrow on his face. Sam took several half-gasping, half-growling breaths before reeling himself back in. He collapsed to the floor, his fingers pressing hard into the smooth concrete. He bowed his head as his body shook even harder.
“D-Dean, I’m sorry!” He gasped out. “I didn’t mean to, I couldn’t help—”
The door at the top of the stairs slammed before Sam could finish, and seconds later you heard the rumble of the Impala’s engine and the grind of her tires scraping on the dirt road as she tore out of the drive and down the road.
Sam’s shoulders heaved with a sob as he collapsed back, breathing hard as he fought to still his shaking hands. The claws had vanished and his eyes were back to hazel, but he still shook with panic. “I didn’t mean to do that,” he choked, “I didn’t—I didn’t—”
“Sam, it’s okay, he’s just gone to cool off.” You soothed him. “He’ll be back, I promise.”
Sam shook his head and reached to grip your hand as you rubbed his shoulder soothingly. “No way in hell. He saw me snap and that was it. He thinks I’m a monster.” He turned his head, and you saw tears streaming from his now hazel eyes. “I am a monster.”
You sat next to him and wrapped your arms around him as tight as you could. “Oh, Sam, it’s all right. You’re not a monster, you’re not. You’re adapting to a new lifestyle, and yeah, you have some different urges, but you’re just starting out. It’s barely been an hour since you woke up, I didn’t expect you to stay under control.” You hugged him tighter and let him bury his face in the curve of your neck. “Dean got spooked, that’s all. He’ll come back.”
“Will he?” Sam straightened his back and practically glared down at you. “How can you know that? Hm? Tell me how you know my brother’s gonna come back thinking I’m still the guy he grew up with.”
TAGS FOR THIS SERIES ARE OPEN
If you want to see chapter 5, reblog and leave a comment! Feedback is my fuel!
Forever tags: @atc74 @becaamm @bamby0304 @crispychrissy @crashdevlin @curly-haired-disaster @emoryhemsworth @ellen-reincarnated1967 @kittenofdoomage @kayteonline @kdfrqqg @littlegreenplasticsoldier @lunarsaturn88 @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @manawhaat @mereka18 @mrswhozeewhatsis @meganwinchester1999 @oneshoeshort @percussiongirl2017 @serpentbaby @spnwoman @smallgirlbigpersonality @shaelyn102 @thelittleredwhocould @winchesterprincessbride @winecatsandpizza @zombiewerewolfqueen @85natalie @81mysteriouslyme
“Bitten” tags: @linki-locks11 @lez-boatz-writez @wotinspntarnation
169 notes · View notes
hi-its-namjin-anon · 5 years
Text
Get Some Rest
    Jin woke up early in the morning to a pounding headache and nausea practically overwhelming him. He clambered out of his bed and hurried into the bathroom, every step making his head throb. He’d barely dropped to his knees in front of the toilet when a thick, foul-tasting wave of bile forced its way up his throat. He gagged and retched, cringing at the sound of vomit splashing into the water. It was all he could do to keep the sounds he made fairly quiet so he didn’t wake the other boys. He kept throwing up, unable to stop no matter how hard he tried to hold it back, and he desperately hoped nobody else was awake. He had to be strong for them. He couldn’t be sick.        Finally, after what felt like forever, it was over, and Jin drew a shaky breath and rested his forehead on the toilet seat. Tears were running down his face and his whole body was shaky and weak and his throat was burning and he just felt awful. After a moment, he pushed himself to his feet, nearly threw up again when he saw how utterly disgusting all the vomit looked, and then, after taking a moment to steady himself, he cleaned up and shuffled back to bed. His head still hurt, but he managed to fall asleep.         “Jin-hyung,” a voice said, dragging him out of his slumber a few hours later. Jin groaned and blinked his eyes open to see Yoongi standing over him. He still felt like shit, but at least his headache had gone away.         “Hi, Yoon,” Jin mumbled. “Go away. I wanna sleep more.”         “No, hyung, you have to get up,” Yoongi said. “Busy day today, remember? We have dance practice and then-”         “Oh, yeah.” Jin really didn’t want to do anything active, especially not first thing in the morning, but he didn’t have a choice. The group’s schedule was busy whether he liked it or not. He decided to just tough it out. He’d be okay.         “Yeah. Come on, time to get up.”         “Okay, okay.”         Yoongi left the room, and Jin tried to muster up the strength to get out of bed. He ended up closing his eyes again, and the next thing he knew Namjoon was there, shaking him awake.         “Jinnie,” the younger man said. “Come on, you need to get up. We’re gonna be late. Wake up.” He tugged Jin’s covers off and pulled him up into a sitting position. Jin groaned and wrapped his arms around Namjoon’s waist, burying his face in his boyfriend’s stomach.         “I don’t wanna do stuff,” he mumbled. “I didn’t sleep well last night. What time did I go to sleep? One? I’m not sure. And then I woke up again and-” He broke off, remembering that he didn’t want to mention that he was sick. “Yeah. I’m tired.”         “Aw, baby, were you practicing late again?”         “Yeah.”         “Well, there’s nothing you can do about it now, but tonight I’ll be sure to hold you and make sure you get enough sleep. You’ll feel better once you’re up and moving around, too. And then when we get home we can take a nap, alright?” He ruffled Jin’s hair affectionately. “For now you’ve gotta get up, though.”         “Alright. I’ll get up.”         And he actually did get up that time. The sick feeling in his stomach didn’t go away, and neither did the exhaustion that had settled itself over him like a weighted blanket. But he got ready and didn’t complain, even though the car ride was hell and he felt awful.         If Jin thought the car ride was bad, dance practice was even worse. Every motion made his stomach churn and he was still so exhausted. He had gotten away with skipping breakfast by just pretending he’d had something, but he still felt sick.         “Can we pause?” He asked after what felt like hours but was really only around thirty minutes. “I need to go to the bathroom.”         “Yeah,” the instructor replied. “Go ahead.”         Jin thanked him and left the room, and as soon as he was out he ran down the hall to the bathroom. He felt like he needed to throw up again. He collapsed halfway there, though, crumpling to the floor as his legs gave out. He stayed there for a minute, savoring the cool tile, and then he got up again and made his way - walking this time - into the bathroom. He locked the door and sat down in front of the toilet wanting to just get it over with, but nothing came up. He heaved a few times, but nothing happened. He just felt nauseous, he realized.         He splashed some water from the sink on his face and returned to the practice room, and they resumed their rigorous dancing. After an hour, they had another break, and not a moment too soon, because Jin could already feel the nausea rising again. He hurried off to the bathroom, but Yoongi beat him to it. Desperate, he raced off and found an empty room, where he threw up in a trash can. Then he leaned back, gasping for breath, and wiped away his tears. He couldn’t get rid of the horrible taste in his mouth, but at least he looked okay and wasn���t about to puke in the middle of whatever choreography they’d be going over next. With a sigh, he hauled himself to his feet and returned to the practice room.         “Jin,” Taehyung said. “Here, have some water. You look thirsty.” He held out a bottle of water, and Jin realized just how dehydrated he was, especially after vomiting twice. He hadn’t had anything to drink since the first round of sickness that morning. He gratefully accepted the water and downed it all at once. It made his stomach churn and gurgle unhappily, but he needed to stay hydrated.         He made it through another hour of dance practice, although he felt like his legs would give out at any moment and the headache from that night was starting to return alongside the ever-present queasiness. As soon as they had another break, he headed for the bathroom again, but as he approached the door of the practice room he started to feel even weaker than before. Dizziness took over, and it took all his strength to keep from stumbling too obviously as he left the room. Once he was out in the hall, though, the dizziness suddenly increased tenfold, and the next thing Jin knew he was laying facedown on the floor. His head was spinning and when he tried to push himself up into a sitting position his arms gave out. Behind him, the door to the practice room opened again and someone stepped out into the hall.         “Oh my god,” he heard Namjoon gasp. “Seokjin! Seokjinnie!” The rapper was suddenly kneeling by his side, looking horrified.         “Namjoon,” Jin replied weakly. Namjoon rested a hand on his forehead but then pulled it back when he realized that Jin was still hot and sweaty from dancing so it would be hard to see if he had a fever.         “Jinnie, sweetie, what happened? Are you okay? Why are you on the floor?”         “I was walking and then suddenly I was on the floor and now I don’t feel strong enough to get up. I’m not feeling so good today,” he admitted, swallowing his pride and ignoring his desire to not be a burden.         “Can you elaborate?” Namjoon asked desperately.         “Uh, yeah,” Jin replied. “It started really early this morning when I threw up the first time, and then I went to sleep and then when I woke up I still felt bad and I threw up again during our last break and I still felt bad and now here we are.”         “And you didn’t tell anyone?”         “I didn’t want to be a burden…”         “Jinnie, you gotta tell us when you’re not feeling good,” Namjoon said. “We’ve told you, you’re not a burden. Everyone gets sick. You just need to let us know.” He ran a hand through Jin’s sweat-drenched hair. “Here, let me get you some water. I’ll be right back.” He stood and hurried back into the practice room. “Guys, Jin’s sick,” Jin heard him say. “I found him in the hall on the floor.”         “Is he conscious?” Jimin asked.         “Yeah. He told me this started early this morning and he’s thrown up twice. I don’t know what’s wrong but it sounds like he fainted just now.”         Namjoon returned with a bottle of water in his hand. The other members and their dance instructor were following him, and they all knelt beside him.         “Jungkook-ah,” Namjoon said, “run and get him a damp paper towel or something for his face. Instructor-nim, can you grab a fan? Hoseok, go let someone else know, okay? Jimin and Tae, stay here. Yoongi, go grab some more water.”         Everyone hurried off to do as they were told, and Namjoon lifted the water he was holding to Jin’s lips. Jin gladly drank it, savoring the feeling of the cold liquid in his mouth. Taehyung ran a gentle hand through his hair and Jimin rubbed his back. Yoongi returned with two more bottles of water, and then he rested a cool hand on Jin’s forehead. The dance instructor came back with an electric fan. Tears started to roll down Jin’s cheeks, dripping onto the floor.         “Oh, Jinnie, don’t cry,” Namjoon murmured. He gently wiped the tears away with his thumbs. “You’ll be okay.”         “I’m just causing problems for y-” Jin cut himself off with a violent gag, and the next thing he knew he was coughing and practically choking on bile and water. Taehyung and Yoongi helped him prop himself up on his arms, holding him up as he heaved and retched and vomited on the floor. The dance instructor hurried off to grab a trash can, but by the time he returned Jin had already gotten everything out of his stomach. Jungkook returned with a handful of damp paper towels, and Namjoon took a couple and used them to wipe up Jin’s lips and chin.         “We should get him to a hospital,” Yoongi said. “He doesn’t look so good.”         “Yeah,” Namjoon agreed. “Let’s wait for Hoseok to get back and then we’ll figure everything out. Hey, hey, Jinnie, don’t cry. It’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.”         Hoseok returned, followed by Bang PD-nim and a pair of young women Jin recognized as some of the medical staff members. Namjoon explained the situation and they quickly looked over Jin. When they couldn’t find what was wrong, they advised the group to take him to the hospital. Jin ended up sitting in the back of PD-nim’s car, cradled in Namjoon’s arms. Namjoon had him drink a few sips of water periodically so he would stay hydrated, and eventually they made it to the hospital, where it was determined that Jin was just seriously overworked, that he was so exhausted his body couldn’t function right, and that he’d be okay as long as he got some rest as soon as possible. Namjoon texted the other boys, who had stayed at the studio on the orders of the staff, and told them that everything was fine and he’d be going home with Jin.         Thirty minutes later, Jin was curled up in his bed, cuddled up against Namjoon. The younger man’s arms were warm and comforting, making Jin realize just how tired he really was. His bones suddenly felt like lead, but Namjoon was there. Namjoon was helping him to feel better.         “You gonna be okay, baby?” Namjoon asked, running a hand down Jin’s spine.         “Yeah, I think so,” Jin replied. “I hope so.”         “Good. Get some sleep now, okay? And try to limit your late-night dance practice sessions in the future.” He pulled Jin closer and started humming, and despite the fact that Jin still felt sick and tired and all-around awful, he finally drifted off into blissful unconsciousness.
26 notes · View notes
lokbobpop · 3 years
Text
Crisis
1a : the turning point for better or worse in an acute disease or fever. b : a paroxysmal attack of pain, distress, or disordered function. c : an emotionally significant event or radical change of status in a person's life a midlife crisis.
The English word crisis was borrowed from the Latin, which in turn was borrowed from the Greek κρίσις krisis 'discrimination, decision, crisis'. The noun is derived from the verb κρίνω krinō, which means 'distinguish, choose, decide'.
Crisis cry sis cris is c risis cry cyst cr is is
Writing the word crisis
I feel im either in a mental crisis or elated ever only its like crisis is apon me as soon as i get over one obstacles of the mind another shows it’s self to me like it will never end and i will be fitting with myself forever it seems an endless rd and thankless task and wondering if ill every get anywhere with it all will i see realize and understand it all so i can move on fear of not getting there in this life and being stuck within my mind.
Reading the word crisis
Areas of the planet that are in crisis with no food or water war torn i think my life is tough with my mind but just imagine if i had this and no food or water imagine the lives some people are going through right now i need to get this done i need to walk me mind to help others walk theres.
The fear ive carried for so many years of whats going to play out on this planet like war earthquakes tidal waves mass deaths government or should i say the elite killing us fear of the unknown but knowing something big is about to go down and i dont know what to do will i survive with my family be ok and being trapped in these thoughts to the point of self harm where i have caused my thyroid to go into autoimmune disease which there is not sure i harmed my body to this extent and it feel terrible that i have done this to myself through thought alone and not taken responsibility of my thoughts.
How in a crisis i dont do well i fear a lot and dont thing about common sense and sit in fear for to long blame coming up here of not being good enough.
Saying the word crisis out loud
When you hit a crisis i see the first thought is im not good enough i cant handle this and want to give in and not standing up within myself to guild myself not doing whats best in the moment still feeling ive accomplish nothing within my process and seeing myself a less than another.
Thoughts of big disasters that have happened and fear coming up like Rwanda so many killed how did they do this fear of African people who are able to do these crimes
Thoughts of im always now in a mind crisis it never ends these crisis one after another when will i start seeing long term benefits how much more do i have ot go through until i say that enough stop no more.
Sf
Does this definition support me no fear and lots of it of process and not seeing an end to this crisis far of world events being to much for me to handle and fear for my family sadness of what ive aloud to happen to my body.
Crisis cris is
Crisis
An event that can either build you or knock you down but you have a choice in who you are in any given moment and to use all crisis as time to grow and become you.
How will i live this word? I will live this word with using crisis within me grow to use common sense and grow use all that seems wrong to grow so to grow always
0 notes
13lambs · 4 years
Text
9/14/2020
today has been an incredibly stressful and mentally taxing day. I won’t get into details, as i don’t feel comfortable doing so, however I will say that i am in a state of anxiety and though I have taken my medication for panic attacks there is still churning black tar in my stomach. cognitively i am soft and fuzzy like dandelion puff but physically my body is thrashing in on itself with anxious fever. I am unwell. I need to do homework, but i cannot be functional at this moment. i feel as though i have been dissociating mildly where i feel unattached from myself but still wholly anxious and concrete in the physical signs of anxiety.
im very tired but have so much to do. i feel like i cannot give myself time to panic or breathe and try to calm down. chaos.
im being over dramatic but i dont care. it feels this way even if its ridiculous. mental illness doesnt make sense and is a dumb piss baby.
0 notes